Fixed
10. Gawp
gawp: (Brit) Look with amazement; look stupidly
As October started to wain into November, Kim found that she was falling into a comfortable rhythm with her new group of friends and was surprised to realise that she was enjoying the changeable patterns on her day. Before, Ruth had been her only friend and she had been able to slip quietly in and out of school, unnoticed and relatively under the radar. Now, she was constantly either with Jared or one of the others, talking or walking to class, which apparently made her far more visible.
The first time that she became aware of this was during the week following her and Jared making up. She had been calmly washing her hands in the Girls' Bathroom when Safiya Rhodes had approached her.
Safiya was beautiful. She was that girl. The one that every girl in her year group envied and every boy couldn't help noticing. Tall, slim and gorgeous, she had long, silky black hair and these extraordinary eyes that were somewhere between green and hazel. Popular, smart and on the student council, she was almost guaranteed to go to college and Kim had always envied how easily things came to Safiya.
However, she had also thought that Safiya and Jared liked each other. Before he had gone off ill, they'd flirted almost every lunch period and been seen together in La Push a lot. But then he had come back all changed and weird, suddenly wanting to spend all his time with Kim and Paul and Embry.
So, when Safiya had approached her, Kim hadn't known what to say.
"Kim?"
She glanced up to see Safiya regarding her with her unusual eyes.
"Um … yeah?" Kim managed.
Safiya's expression could only be described as uncomfortable, which was almost unheard of. She was fidgeting with her necklace and kept spinning the little charm on the chain.
"Er … I was wondering …" she continued. Kim waited. "Are … are you … and Jared … dating?" she eventually finished, looking very awkward.
"Oh, no, we're not. We're just friends," Kim reassured her. "He hasn't asked me out, if that's what you're wondering."
"Okay, good. Um … I was just wondering what was going on? You guys seem to spend a lot of time together and before he was ill we were … texting … and he hasn't texted me since and I wanted to ask if you guys were … texting as well …" Safiya let her voice trail off. Kim didn't think she'd ever been in a more uncomfortable interaction.
"Okay, well we're not, but you should really ask Jared," Kim said, quickly gathering her things and all but running out to the restroom. She almost sprinted to English and looked hard at Jared. He flinched at her gaze.
"What did I do?" he demanded.
"Not text Safiya Rhodes so that she has to seek me out in bathrooms to find out if we're "dating"," she griped.
He cringed and was instantly contrite. "Sorry Kim, I didn't mean to avoid her … I just didn't get around to catching her …"
"Well she seems upset Jared and I think she'd appreciate it if you put on your big boy pants and spoke to her so I don't have to!" Kim exclaimed. She was so annoyed that it took her a moment to realise that there was a smile playing around his eyes. "What is so amusing?" she demanded.
Jared shrugged, his dark eyes warm, "I dunno, I just like how feisty you are these days. When we first met you were so shy and anxious about everything, it's nice to see you having a go at me. I can see why Paul enjoys winding you up so much … it's nice to see you standing up for yourself and fighting back."
Kim regarded him, utterly flabbergasted for a moment. Had she changed? She was so nonplussed by this statement that she lost her previous train of thought and didn't get to finish berating him before Mr Stannard started lecturing about the latest chapter of Mockingbird.
In the end, Jared did have a conversation with Safiya and Kim slipped happily back into incognito mode (as she liked to call it). The comment from Jared did strike her though, so asked Ruth whether she had changed.
"I think you have actually," her best friend replied, "But in a good way."
"Like how?"
"Well, you were always quick to disappear and be nonconfrontational before. Now you don't do it with everyone but it's always amusing to see you having a go at Paul or Embry. Kaden told me that your verbal take down of Jared on Tuesday made his day!"
Kim couldn't stop a smile at this, "I made his day?"
Ruth giggled, "He said that he loved seeing you have a go at the guy that you'd had a crush on for so long, and not only that, Jared took it and apologised. That's something he's always struggled with apparently."
This made Kim pause. "That's the thing I don't get Ru, why did he change so suddenly? Wasn't Harris his best friend before he got ill? Now he's attached at the hip with Paul and Embry, it's weird …"
Her best friend had merely shrugged and they'd gone back to discussing the latest book series they were getting into, one called City of Bones by Cassandra Clare.
The next slightly more unsettling interaction had come the following week, when she'd been leaving Art at the end of the day and found herself approached by Jacob Black. Jacob was a sophomore and had always struck her as happy go lucky, if a little goofy. But now he looked upset.
"Kim?" he said, blocking her way.
She looked up in surprise, "What is it Jacob?"
"You're dating Cameron aren't you? What's the deal with him and Lahote suddenly being Embry's friends? Why did they have to steal our best friend? Why couldn't they have just stayed taking drugs with Sam Uley?" Kim felt her breath catch in her throat as Jacob unloaded on her. She didn't what to do. "Tell your boyfriend and his friends to stay the fuck away from Embry!" he exclaimed, his volume rising. "Where do they get off? Destroying friendships and taking steroids?" His voice was gradually getting louder and louder as he spoke, making Kim feel her panic gradually rise higher and higher.
"I … I … I don't know Jacob," she whispered, "I'm not dating Jared. He's just my friend …"
"Bull shit!" Jacob exclaimed, taking a step towards her, "Everyone knows that he can't take his eyes off you! You're in their little gang aren't you Kim? Well you just tell them …"
"Jake, quit it!" Quil Eterea exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Jacob to drag him away. "It isn't Kim's fault!"
"But she's dating Cameron!" Jacob exclaimed, "She's in the gang and …"
"Why the hell are you yelling at her?" came an angry voice. Kim spun to find Jared, Paul and Embry approaching. Jared looked livid but also … scared? She found herself yanked behind him before she could do anything and saw Paul was also furious. Embry looked a mixture of equally sad and angry.
"I was telling your girlfriend that you and your crackhead buddies need to leave Embry alone!" Jacob yelled. Kim found herself clutched tightly to Jared's back and squirmed to look over his shoulder.
"Jake, just quit it, will you?" Quil yelled again.
"We aren't crackheads!" Paul shouted back.
"They're helping me Jake," Embry agreed, "I know you don't get it now, but you will."
"I'll never understand how you can leave your best friends to hang out with Sam Uley's cult!" Jacob yelled, so angry this time that the corridor rang with his yell. Kim managed to free herself from Jared's hold and retreated from him. Quil finally managed to shove Jacob away and stared forcing him down the hallway.
"Walk away, Jacob," Jared stated calmly, "Walk away now before someone gets hurt."
Jacob looked like he wanted to shout back, but Quil finally seemed to be getting through to his friend and they took a side exit. Half the student body watched them go and seemed to be loitering to see if any more fireworks erupted. Paul seemed close to exploding and Kim watched as both Jared and Embry manhandled him out another side exit towards the woods. She followed just in time to see them start running across the parking lot.
The week following the "Friday fireworks", (as Ruth called them) saw life returning to semi-normal, although Jared had been unreachable that weekend and Kim had been surprised to hear that Jacob was also absent from school that day. Throughout that week, Paul, Jared and Embry had all been absent from school on different days and Kim had gotten used to it being a different one each day. She had come in on that Friday fully expecting Jared to be away, only to see him and Embry sitting at their usual lunch table.
"Paul's turn today, is it?" she enquired as she sat down. Both boys stared at her.
"What d'you mean?" Jared asked, a little too nonchalant.
Kim raised a sardonic eyebrow at him, "I'm not thick Jared, you guys have all been away a different day. I don't know what's happening, but I imagine it's something to do with Jacob." She hadn't expected the reaction she got when Jared and Embry both exchanged what could only be called panicked looks. "What?" she pushed, "What's such a big secret? Its to do with your famous top secret job right?"
Jared exchanged a long look with Embry before he stood and ushered Kim up as well. "I have to talk to you," he said with such urgency that she stared.
"But why? Jared why is all this so hush hush?" she pushed.
He stroked the back of his neck in that gesture of discomfort that she was coming to know so well. "I can't tell you everything Kim but I really want to! Please believe me when I say I do."
"Okay, so tell me later. Come out to the woods with me when I'm walking the dogs and we can get some privacy ..?" Kim suggested.
Jared seemed to consider this before nodding. "Okay, deal. But please don't mention your theory of us being with Jacob to anyone, even Ruth until I've spoken to you okay?"
Kim nodded, though she found their panic slightly amusing. What was the big deal?
In the end, she had to stay late a little late finishing an Art project and was sprinting for her car when she saw the time. She only had 35 minutes to get to Forks and traffic on a Friday was notoriously bad. She all but breezed past Jared and took off quickly out of the parking lot. He followed her in his truck and luckily, she was only five minutes late.
After yelling an apology at Gill, she received the lowdown about which dogs were urgently in need of walks and was soon exiting the shelter with an excitable husky named Jimmy. She saw Jared at the head of the trail and couldn't resist a smile, he'd been joining her every week for the past few weeks and she'd enjoyed the company. Today though, he looked incredibly solemn.
"You okay?" she prompted as they headed down the familiar path. He nodded, seeming deep in thought. "So ..?" she pushed, "What's the baby sitting about?"
He snorted at that, "Baby sitting…" He shook his head before turning to her with a very determined look. "Kim, I need to ask you something, I've been wanting to ask you for weeks but I've been trying to be fair and keep to our deal."
"What deal?" she asked, confused.
"The deal where I promised to be your friend and not ask you out … but Kim … I don't think I can do that any longer …"
Her heart seemed to stop for a moment, "You … you don't want to be my friend any more?" She felt tears rising.
Jared stared at her in horror, "Not be your friend? No Kim! I can't be around you and not want to ask you out, I'm asking you to be my girlfriend … to date me …"
Kim also stared and felt as though she couldn't breathe. It took far longer than it should have for his words to sink in. He waited with bated breath.
"You … want to … date … me?" she eventually choked out.
He nodded, "Yeah, I do … like … a lot …" His hand shot up, rubbing the back of his head again in that gesture that always made her think of him.
Kim gaped at him like an idiot, but she couldn't help it! "Wait, one more time. You, Jared Cameron, are asking me, Kim Connweller, out?"
Jared laughed, "More than that, Kim Connweller, I'm asking you to be my girlfriend."
She gaped at him again, "And you're … serious?"
His grin widened, "Totally."
Kim felt the smile spreading over her face, "Okay …"
Jared's grin widened again, (if that was possible). "Yeah?"
Kim nodded, "Yeah, I'll go out with you, Jared. But you have to promise not to break my heart okay?"
He actually gave the boy scout's saluted, "If I lose my phone I promise that Emily will text you."
Kim laughed, "Okay then, yes, I will be your girl friend Jared." Her laughter turned to squeals as she felt herself bear hugged off the floor and twirled around. Jared was very strong. He didn't seem able to put her down but simply held her, burying his face in her hair and saying "thank you" over and over again. Kim felt herself hugging him back and actually hooked her legs around his waist for ease of balance.
He eventually set her down and was regarding her with such joy that Kim felt her heart melt a little. She didn't know how long they stood like that but their little romantic bubble was eventually interrupted by an impatient Jimmy.
"Oh!" she exclaimed as he nosed her in the butt, "Sorry, Jimmy, we're interrupting your walk aren't we?" The husky barked at her and Kim instantly set off at a brisk pace. Jared however, would not let her separate from him and claimed her hand.
"So, when can I take you out?" he asked after they'd covered about 100 metres.
Kim pondered, "Um … what about tomorrow evening?"
Jared seemed to be thinking, "I'll need to check with Sam, but in theory that should work."
"We could do a do over and have the date we were meant to have in October?" she suggested.
Jared nodded, "I like that idea. We can wipe that stupid night away."
Kim felt herself smiling broadly. She could get used to the idea of going on regular dates with Jared.
The next hour was one of happiest of Kim's life as they finished Jimmy's walk and got half way through one with a pair of exuberant Alsatians when she suddenly remembered the point of their meeting.
"Oh, Jared," she prompted.
He looked down with a grin. "Yeah?"
"You were going to tell me about you and Embry and Paul ..?" she began. Jared grimaced. "What?"
"Kim, I do want to tell you, believe me. But, could you wait a few weeks? I'd really love to enjoy just being with you and going out … speaking of which, can we go back via the Little House? Emily will kill me if I don't bring you over to celebrate us finally being official. Paul and Embry have been taking bets about how long it'll take me to "grow a pair" and I want Emily to win over those two idiots."
"They took bets?" Kim exclaimed, not sure whether to be offended.
"It's only because they were fed up of me going on and on about how much I like you," Jared replied, drawing her close and hugging her in a way that made it impossible for Kim to be mad. He was so warm … "Besides, a little birdie told me that you've liked me for years, so I was pretty confident."
Kim buried her head in her hands in mortification and refused to look at him. Jared's response was to hug her even closer and press what felt suspiciously like a kiss to her cheek.
"C'mon Kimmy, you knew I liked you!"
The girl's head immediately shot up and she hit him, "Stop. Calling. Me. Kimmy!" she exclaimed, hitting him after every word. For his part, Jared tried to hold back a laugh and failed miserably, simply hugging her closer and refusing to let go. Kim had to give up in the end, muttering about "stupid boys", a statement which only made him laugh harder.
In the end, they walked five more dogs over the next few hours, teasing and bickering in the same playful way that they'd developed over the past few weeks. It was only once they had returned their last dog and were heading towards their cars in the parking lot that Kim saw the determined look on Jared's face, though there also seemed to be a little fear this time.
"Jared?" she queried, taking his hand. "Are you okay?"
He took her hand in both of his, stroking her fingers. "Kim..?" he began.
"Yes?" she pressed, "What's wrong? I thought you were happy?"
Jared nodded vigorously, "I am, so happy. I just … I really want to kiss you and I don't want to rush you …"
Kim never initiated physical contact except with her family and Ruth. But at this moment, she felt brave. Tentatively, she reached a hand to cup his face. Jared stood as still as a statue, seeming mesmerised by her simple touch. Gathering her courage, Kim cupped his cheek gently, marvelling as she always did at how hot his skin was. For several moments, she simply held his face before reaching up on her toes to press her lips to his.
It was a tender touching of lips, but Jared seemed transfixed. After a few seconds, Kim drew back, feeling herself blushing and was about to look down when Jared caught her chin and raised it once more to his. With a soft but deft touch, he pressed his lips to hers again, wrapping his arms about his waist and holding her.
Kim for her part became lost within the sensation of his lips upon hers. She'd been kissed by a couple of other boys but this experience was proving how inexperienced they had been. Jared was tender and sure all at the same time, guiding her through the kiss and warming her from the inside.
When she eventually pulled away for lack of oxygen, Kim felt a little loopy and smiled stupidly at her boyfriend, who grinned back just as goofily.
"I'm glad you let me call you my girlfriend," he stated, "I'm going to need to do that every day."
Unable to help her giggles, Kim hit him again, lightly. But even she could not deny that she felt stupidly happy.
Jared returned her smile before motioning towards their cars, "Come on, lets go and tell the others." Nodding, Kim followed very willingly.
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Author's note:
They're together! I'm pleased we've got to this part. It should be sailing towards a happy ending soon! This is meant to be a novella and not a full length story so I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be.
I hope you enjoyed their first kiss!
Please let me know what you think, I'd love to get some feedback.
Thanks as always,
Breeze.