He was staring at Wondergirl again.

In fact, what made her really angry was that little smile that happened right after the shared gaze. So comfortable and natural. A pleasant laugh, so different from the nervous or even bitter one he showed for Asuka all too often. She wondered what kind of secret things went between them, the kind of joke that didn't even require words. No, honestly she didn't even want to know, because knowing that would do nothing but enrage her further. No need to pour oil on the fire when it's already burning hot. She just didn't want to pay attention to it anymore.

I'm clinging to a losing fight, the thought suddenly crossed her mind. She was giving too much, compared to what she was given, she thought. And more infuriatingly, the other party wasn't even aware of that. The thought that was vague at first but becoming ever clear, the thought that was tickling her mind since last evening, surfaced again. The idea that she should get out of this mess before losing more. She didn't even want to think what currency she was losing, but still, there definitely was a deficit, and it didn't suit a genius like her to cling to a lost cause. That was just simply stupid. But giving up so meekly like that felt so wrong, too. And when she thought about all those confusing messages she received the past few days...

She must have stared for too long. The boy turned his head this way, perhaps because he felt her gaze. He slightly raised his eyebrows when he met Asuka's eyes, as if in surprise. Asuka narrowed her eyes and turned her head, lifting a mouthful of rice with her fork. Give me a proper reason, she thought while chewing. Any reason to hate you for sure. Or not hate you. What I really can't stand is the ambiguity.

Only after putting a small piece of chicken in her mouth Asuka realized Hikari had been quiet for a while. Asuka looked up to find her looking this way with a weird expression. Asuka calmly chewed and swallowed the chicken and raised her chin slightly. "What?"

Hikari, very unlike her usual self, answered the question with a question. "Ikari made it today, didn't he?"

Asuka nodded, after a moment of dumbstruck silence. "Of course."

"Didn't you just say he was hospitalized throughout the whole school trip week? HR teacher said he was exempt from PE class and cleaning duties, too."

Asuka used her fork to lift some rice to her mouth and swallowed it, barely chewed. "Not like he's dying, is he? And he says it's actually comfortable for him to do what he kept doing. Inertia or something I guess."

Hikari looked at Asuka with that weird face again for a moment, then raised her gaze slightly and nodded with a smile. Asuka tried to look around to see what was up, then noticed a familiar figure from her peripheral view, stopping quickly. As soon as he passed by, Hikari leaned slightly and quickly put chopsticks in Asuka's lunch box to take a piece of her chicken out. When Asuka, briefly stunned by this completely unexpected action, protested with 'hey!' Hikari already chewed and swallowed the chicken.

"Mmmm, frozen karaage. Not too fancy. But it doesn't feel like microwaved. Doesn't feel like it went to a fridge after fried, am I right?"

"...I guess?" Asuka, including today, usually opened her eyes in the morning to the smell of his cooking. It was like a routine in her new home at this point. She didn't participate in the cooking and she didn't even check today morning because she couldn't bear the sight of the boy, but she was still sure this chicken was fried this morning, not yesterday.

Hikari was wearing that face again. Asuka briefly wondered why she was already familiar with that expression, and frowned when she realized it was the exact same thing she saw from Misato last weekend. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

At least Hikari had the decency to blush, unlike Misato. Still, it did nothing to lessen Asuka's irritation. She was aware that maybe she felt that way because she was projecting her frustration against Misato on the innocent Hikari, but that still did not relieve Asuka's mind.

"Nothing. I'm just, I thought it shows that you never cooked before."

Asuka put her fork down on the lunch box. A dull sound rang as the iron met plastic. "What are you talking about?"

Hikari avoided Asuka's eyes, picking up something from her own lunch box(some kind of vegetable pickle Asuka didn't even know the name). "Just, you know, maybe Ikari is much much more diligent than me but... I wouldn't cook something that requires that much oil in the morning just out of pure inertia."

Asuka took the fork and for a moment thought about things Hikari's words implied. It was true that this was a new, previously never thought angle, but fundamentally it was no different from the vain hopes and expectations that put Asuka to the completely expectable disappointments since the last operation. Asuka shook her head with a sullen face. She didn't want to repeat the same mistake in so a short time span. "Dunno."

Hikari looked around and leaned her body forward. Even before her carefully lowered voice came out Asuka knew what she was about to say, but still she couldn't completely stop from blushing. "Asuka, does Ikari... does he..."

"No!" She gritted her teeth and lowered her voice, feeling curious eyes. "You say that because you don't know him, Hikari. He's just an idiot, so stupid," Asuka bit her lip, realizing her reaction was a bit overboard. "it's not a wonder he does things like that."

Fortunately for Asuka, Hikari didn't prod more. She still had that unpleasant smile, the smile that was saying I-know-it-all, but at least she was still more respectful than Asuka's so-called guardian.

After that a brief silence fell, followed by some small chat. Neither of them spoke a word about a certain pilot. Not like he was a regular subject between the two. And both Hikari and Asuka didn't pay much mind when some ruckus happened in the hallway, loud enough to mask the noise from the playground. Asuka wasn't much interested even when the front door of the classroom opened and a girl from some other class came in straight to Hikari, whispering to her with a deadly serious face. Must be some administrative work from the teacher's office, Asuka thought. It only became a bit weird when she realized the girl was constantly glancing at her, but even that wasn't too uncommon, Japanese kids looking at her.

"What's the hurry? It's still recess, you know." Asuka asked absently, after the girl left and Hikari started to hurriedly close her lunch box.

"I don't know, homeroom teacher calling from the office. Must be very urgent. I'll be right back."

It was only after seeing an ambulance and a police car coming right into the school campus that Asuka realized something big happened and it was related to the call Hikari received. Soon the bell rang, announcing the end of lunchtime, and Hikari came back to the classroom. She beckoned to Asuka without a word, heading to Shinji's seat, and only then did Asuka realize that Shinji was nowhere to be seen.

"Let the school handle it as much as possible. It's not a good outlook to intervene too much in civil matters. Go in only if they try to involve the police or any other organizations. If you guys showed up the moment it happened it's one thing, it's too late now."

Misato didn't like the following answer. Well, she didn't like the whole situation from the start, to be fair. This was definitely not included in her lunch plan when she barged into Ritsuko's office. "I'm not blaming you for the fight itself, am I? Yeah, the minimum-contact policy was my idea from the start. So what? I'm not saying you should've been there to stop the punch or something. Are you trying to imply something? No? Good. I'm just saying your teams were too late to react after the deed. No, just shut up. I'm not accepting excuses. Call me only if there's any change."

Misato pressed the call end button. If it was a landline, not a cell phone, she would've crashed the receiver. "Incompetent good-for-nothing loudmouths, all of them."

"I heard the whole department is brimming with discontent. They think they're being pushed an impossible task, protecting the assets while still demanded to let them roam free among the general public."

Ritsuko said without taking her eyes off the monitor. Misato couldn't see what was on the screen from this angle, but she knew it was something about Unit-03 that was built in the United States, some kind of advisory letter. She asked when she first arrived here. Misato, sitting across from Ritsuko, looked at the cat figurines on the desk, and finally turned her eyes to the coffee mug in front of her. "I gotta find some disciplinary measures."

Ritsuko started tapping on the keyboard. "Are you planning to start an inter-department war against Section 2?"

"No, I'm talking about Shinji."

The tapping sound stopped for a while, and continued again. "And I thought you were overprotective of him. You were all over him last week."

"The situation is different."

Ritsuko's gaze turned to this side for the first time in minutes and then returned to the monitor. She kept her mouth closed, but somehow Misato felt the urge to add something.

"Getting hospitalized because of an injury sustained in an operation is totally different from picking a fight against a civilian. The former deserves all the kindness and care. The latter is an unacceptable character flaw."

One corner of Ritsuko's lips went up slightly. "Maybe he's still wounded. Psychological trauma, you know. Maybe you should take care of him as much as you did in the last week."

Misato snorted. "Now you sound like one of those charlatans."

Ritsuko raised her eyebrows as if she was interested. "A charlatan?"

"Yeah, a charlatan. Those scammers who tell you to draw something on paper and make up nice stories about those drawings to just give you some pills that would do nothing but make you sleepy."

"Psychological trauma is a legitimate form of trauma, too. And I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that Shinji has accumulated such trauma, considering all the erratic behaviors he's shown so far."

Misato crossed her legs. Both women here knew what Ritsuko was intentionally omitting here, but it was a big mistake if she thought she was winning through what she was loudly implying. "I'm not saying there's no such thing as psychological trauma. I'm saying that it's unrealistic to think that you're absolved of responsibility for your own actions, or that others should do something about the said trauma."

Ritsuko's hand stopped, then tapped the keyboard again. This time, the pause was a little longer than the last time. Her eyes remained fixed on the monitor.

"You're denying the hard-won achievement of both the academical part of the psychiatric field and their social perception in recent years."

Misato laughed again and turned her eyes away. The Geofront meadow over the window looked quite pretty, something she couldn't see from her underground office. "It's a collaboration of weak-minded pushovers and scammers who eat them off. You remember Second Impact. Tokyo Incident. And all the misery after that. Did we have counselors and therapists back then?"

Ritsuko smiled. "No, we didn't."

"Precisely. But civilization has been restored, and society is functioning."

"Is it?"

Misato frowned. "And, objectively, I don't think Shinji's situation is that serious to the point I have to turn a blind eye to such actions. I can't allow this to him. I shouldn't tolerate this. What we're asking of him isn't light, I know that, and I'm always sorry for that, but it's not like he's completely meeting the standard when it comes to mental fortitude. As his commanding officer I think I can demand more from him than this. He should be more like Asuka, I think. She's much better about this kind of thing. I really hope some parts of her rub off on him."

Ritsuko didn't show any response, so the conversation ended there. The heavy silence ended shortly afterward with Ritsuko tapping the keyboard a single time, cheerfully. "Done. Let's eat before the cafeteria closes."

The bags in her hand felt heavy. It became a little overwhelming ever since she changed her hand to hold Shinji's bag and her bag in one hand. But Asuka was unable to open the door of the nurse's office in front of her with a hand that she lifted some minutes ago.

As soon as Hikari entered the classroom, she beckoned Asuka and immediately headed to Shinji's seat. The teacher was calmly conducting the class as if nothing happened and he couldn't see Hikari and Asuka, while the whole class looked at them, whispering. Hikari packed Shinji's bag without a word and left the classroom, beckoning Asuka, who was standing next to Shinji's seat in confusion, to follow her. For some reason she could not explain herself, Asuka hurriedly packed her bag before following Hikari.

It was only halfway to the nurse's office that Asuka heard the whole story, or at least the part Hikari knew.

Then, about five minutes passed after Hikari went back, leaving her stranded in front of the nurse's office.

She already forgot where and how seriously that worm(she never remembered his name) was injured. The only thing she remembered was that he was taken to ER. Even the reason for that violence, except for a single aspect of it, didn't feel that important, at least for now. It would probably sink in as time goes, but not for now. To be honest, she wasn't even that much interested in the fact that Shinji collapsed due to hyperventilation. Not like he was dying anyway.

What filled Asuka's mind now was the realization that could easily be a delusion, and an intense debate on what to do after entering the room in each scenario.

And she was well aware that her mind was already leaning toward the one certain scenario, which meant that the only thing stopping her hand from opening the door was the fear that she was repeating the same mistake she'd been doing for the past few days, blinded by empty hope again.

Then, yes, the realization that it was fear that was stopping her finally moved her hand. Fear was a shame. And such was unacceptable.

Asuka roughly opened the door of the nurse's office to find three heads turning to her at the same time. Asuka looked over them swiftly. Nearest from the door was the school nurse, with a fed-up look on her face. Two rows of curtained beds, and a straight-faced middle-aged police officer standing at the far end of it. Next to him was an occupied bed, the boy sitting on it, his back on the backplate of the bed. A paper bag was thrown on his knees. He averted his gaze the moment he realized it was Asuka who barged into the place.

First to speak was the police.

"Authorized person on..." He blurred the words, narrowing his eyes. Asuka's general attitude and her foreign look must have raised suspicions.

Asuka pointed at the door with her chin. "Leave us. Nerv business."

The nurse burst open the door immediately as if she had been waiting for that exact words. The police weren't so cooperating, folding his arms and not moving a step. "I can't leave the suspect. I don't care about this Nerv business either. You can do it right in front of me or you could wait for another time."

Asuka felt both contempt and anger at this little defiance of little man, but did not show it to her face. There were ways to deal with peasants without losing her dignity. "Really? Then you'll hear some sensitive information including the Nerv pilot's movement route and everything, and, honestly, I don't care. Such things are classified secrets from my guards' point of view, but it's just a part of normal life for me that won't change much if one more person gets to know it or not. I'm not the one who'll be forced to sign five or six NDA papers before the day's end and get every single person of my extended family's background checked by the end of this month."

He must have been more reasonable than he looked, because he left the room without a single word. Asuka didn't even spare a glance that way.

Her eyes were fixed on the other place all the time. And from that side, the gaze wasn't returned, and that, more than the police's little stunt, made her angry, almost to an unreasonable amount. Suspicions she had forced down returned with force again to gnaw at her mind. She suddenly wanted to throw his bag at him, tell him that the school decided to send him home today, and just leave. But that would be too unnatural, if anything. There had to be a question, at the very least, regardless of its actual form.

No rush, Asuka. She thought to herself. If he messes up again, it's his fault, not mine. But there's no reason to scare him on my part. "Who do you think you are? You think you're my guardian or something? Protecting my honor, huh? You think I need you for that?"

Shinji's eyes, which had been fixed on the paper bag on his lap, turned to Asuka for the first time. Asuka trembled a little as she saw burning resentment from them. It occurred to her that her mistake might have led her to unexpected success. A small voice from within whispered that she was deluding herself, that it was only natural to be angry after being treated like that and there was no other motivation or sentiment that she was secretly hoping behind it, but Asuka simply ignored it.

"It's, it's nothing like that."

Asuka wasn't too disappointed when the fire quickly disappeared from Shinji's eyes and the crawling voice came out from his lips. Rather, she expected it. She pursued the glimpse she had seen, the evidence that was there for a moment. She relaxedly hurried to cling to it nonchalantly.

"Then what? Why did you do that?" Why are you angry? Do you feel betrayed by me? Why? Those following questions were left unspoken to mingle with dust in the air, floating under the noon lay.

Shinji turned his face sullenly. Still failing to hide the faint flush on his face from Asuka's hyper-focused eyes. Asuka found herself standing right next to his bed, her feet already moved her without her realizing it. Shinji's irregular and difficult breathing and her own heartbeat filled her ears but she could still hear the gears turning busily behind Shinji's eyes.

Shinji's eyes narrowed, and Asuka's eyes followed the suit. I'm not expecting too much. I'm not expecting 'because I like you'. Anything, anything but cowardly evasion like 'I don't know,'. Anything between that two, I'm willing to accept. And if you manage that, I don't know, maybe I'll kiss you on the cheek. I'll say I never asked for your help but I'm still obliged to reward you accordingly. Even your thick head would wake up with that, and this is a concession that I could tolerate as...

"Sorry. I don't know. I really don't know why I did that."

Asuka was already leaning halfway when he said that with a crawling voice. Shinji blinked quickly at Asuka's too-near face. The warmth and imagination that had filled Asuka's heart were swept away at once, and hatred filled the place. All she could think of was slapping him in the face, and her hand actually came up unconsciously. Asuka threw Shinji's bag that was in that hand to his face. Shinji yelped. "What the hell are you doing!"

There was real anger in his voice, but Asuka had already turned around and halfway to the door at that point.

"Asuka!"

Asuka opened the door, ignoring the call. Two Section 2 agents, a surprise on their faces not completely hidden by sunglasses, were standing right in front of her. One of them was extending his hand awkwardly, probably meaning to open the door right before she did. The agent soon regained composure and straightened up.

"Miss Soryu, by the order of Operation Manager Katsuragi,"

Asuka shoved him away and headed for the corridor that led to the main gate. No one tried to stop her.