Chapter 35.

I'm wearing a short sleeve white button-up and khaki pants that Bella picked out for me for our dinner with her parents. She's wearing a white dress. Emmett laughed that we coordinated, or that she coordinated me, but I told him to shut the fuck up.

I'm admittedly nervous, and Emmett calls me out on it, telling me to relax.

I'm usually good with parents. My friend's parents, that is. But Bella's, I can't read well. Phil seems to have it out for me. I can't blame him though. I guess he's protective of her. And Renee…if she makes another comment about Bella's size or weight, I might lose it.

I've been so preoccupied with them liking me, that I never considered the possibility that I might not like them.

Phil shows up in front of the dorms in the latest Tesla SUV, all in white with black details and black rims. A rental, I assume. The back doors open up Back To The Future style, and inside, the car is equipped with white, leather seats.

The car is a lot. Like them. I feel out of place immediately.

Bella holds my hand as we take the back seat, and after quick greetings, we fall into silence while Phil speeds out of campus.

"So, Edward," Phil starts, looking back at me over his shoulder. "What does your dad do?"

"Dad, c'mon!" Bella jumps between the seats before I can answer. "I told you."

"Oh, right…" Phil feigns an apologetic glance my way, while Bella sits back. "I forgot. My bad."

"It's all right," I say, keeping my voice steady. "My dad's not really in my life. My mom is a waitress," I add, just to get it out of the way.

"I waited tables at that diner in Forks," Renee jumps in, turning in her seat to look at us, shooting a friendly smile my way. "You probably don't even remember, Bella."

"The 50s-themed one?" Bella asks, reaching for my hand. "I've seen pictures."

"That's right!" Renee's smile spreads. "I hated the place, but we got to wear the cutest little outfits. I had the waist for it, back then. You know what they say, about daughters stealing your beauty, it's totally true," she says, like it's a joke, looking at me.

Before I can attempt to say anything, Bella changes the topic back to my mom.

"Well, Edward's mom, Elizabeth, is also an artist on the side." Bella intertwines her fingers with mine, and when I turn to her, she smiles, seemingly unbothered by her mother's comments. "She paints with acrylics and oils," Bella continues.

Phil scoffs, and when I look up at him, he's staring intently at me through the rearview mirror. My stomach sinks because maybe Bella just slipped and now Phil is wondering when did Bella meet my mom.

"Edward has shown me some pictures," Bella explains, probably sensing my panic. Her fingers squeeze mine, telling me to relax. "She's really good."

"Bella paints too." Renee adds air quotes with her fingers. "But, luckily she's sticking to cheerleading and getting a profitable degree."

Okay, so they're both assholes.

"Bella's drawings and paintings are actually amazing," I can't help myself to say, even as Bella is mouthing to me that it's okay. They can say anything they want about me, and I'll take it, respectfully, but I won't sit here and quietly listen to her mom belittle her. "She even won the spring art in the park competition, with a quick little drawing she did between stunt sessions!"

"Edward," Bella whispers next to me, her fingers tightening around mine.

"It was featured in the paper," I add proudly while Bella scowls at me.

Neither one of them say anything. No congratulations. No words of encouragement. Renee turns to face the front again, and Phil's eyes shift between Bella and me through the mirror. My words just die in the air as I stare out the window, pissed and frustrated.

I don't know what I thought Bella's parents would be like, but never in a million years would I have pictured them like this. Sure, I knew they had money, and that's fine. But they're rude. They're unsupportive of Bella. Of what she wants or likes to do. They're superficial. Vain. With the fake looks and the fancy rental. Golden chains, lip fillers, and fake tans.

Bella is the most genuine, down-to-earth person I know. It puzzles me to no end how she came out the way she did.

Unfortunately, things just go from bad to worse at the restaurant.

I sit next to Bella, with Renee on the other side, and Phil in front of me.

We barely get to scan the menus when Phil gets out an iPad, Apple Pencil in hand, flipping through it and going over Bella's next commitments. Bella and her mom order side salads, to be on the side of nothing else, and when the waiter asks about dressings, Renee has a fit about Bella's choice of ranch—something about it doubling the calories of the dish.

It's a salad for fuck's sake. Even if double, it wouldn't be nearly enough.

I simmer in my seat. I bite the inside of my cheeks. I order the meat ravioli, and Phil, while managing to be extremely rude to the waitress, orders the steak.

"How did the watermelon cleanse go?" Renee asks, and I freeze. Bella's eyes stop briefly on me before she turns to her mom. Phil's attention remains on his iPad.

"It was fine," Bella says softly, her eyes glancing my way with a plea.

"I did bring you jackfruit. Have it for breakfast, and it will keep you full the whole day," Renee says, placing a hand over Bella's on the table.

"That's not healthy," I say, and all three pairs of eyes turn to me.

"Hmm?" Renee seems confused, Bella is shaking her head at me, probably wanting me to stay out of it, while Phil…Phil just looks at me in amusement.

"It wouldn't be enough to keep anyone full, especially an athlete with such a strenuous physical lifestyle."

"Oh, honey." Renee waves me off. "I was a cheerleader back in my day. Trust me. The thinner the better."

"Well, that may have been the unhealthy standard then, but not now." I take a piece of bread from the untouched basket in front of us, biting a corner off it. "The stunts we do now are very intricate. The flyers need just as much strength, if not more, as the bases. Power. Muscle."

I chew and swallow, my eyes still on Renee as she gapes at me.

"That takes proper nutrition and sustenance," I continue. "Bella is an amazingly strong athlete who needs to feed as such."

When I finally turn to Bella, her eyes are on me, tears welling in them.

Fuck.

Did I mess up? Should I have stayed quiet?

I can't stay quiet about this.

Not when her mom is throwing potentially dangerous advice at Bella's already fragile relationship with food.

I take a deep breath and try to contain myself because the last thing I want is to put Bella on the spot. And maybe I should have brought it up a different way, which has me backtracking quickly.

"I'm sorry," I say to Bella. "I'm just saying those crazy diets don't work." I pretend to chuckle, to play it down, turning to Renee with my best attempt at the smile-through-the-pain face. "They're unhealthy and potentially dangerous."

"Ugh…you sound just like Rosalie." Renee sips from her unsweetened iced tea while my eyes implore forgiveness from Bella.

"At least, that's what we've learned in our intro to nutrition class." I reach for Bella's leg under the table, gently rubbing my hand on it. "Right?" My attention is on Bella as she nods softly, but then she continues to push the dry ingredients of her salad around her plate, seeming smaller and smaller in her seat.

"So…" Phil says, completely unbothered by the previous topic and moving onto the next. "We have the photoshoot and commercial tomorrow. Then, I'm letting Rosalie have all of you until the championship, so you can focus on that. After Daytona, we'll have another shoot, and then you'll come back here for final exams and to wrap up the semester."

Bella doesn't say anything. She takes a sip of her water and nods in agreement. Phil slices his steak, sticking a piece in his mouth and washing it down with his beer.

"Now, Rosalie wants you back for their summer camp again at the end of June. We're still discussing your rate. Since you won't be a freshman anymore, I think you should get paid to help her train her rookies."

"It's about team building, too," Bella says softly. "I'd like to be here for it."

"Yeah, well…" Phil scoffs, going for another piece of steak. "It's still part of our arrangement anyway."

I don't know what arrangement they're referring to, but it frankly doesn't matter. I always figured there was a lot involved in "letting" Bella come to Summit State. By the way it looks, I don't think Bella had much say at all.

Bella finds my hand and squeezes it under the table. The summer is only a couple months away, and then we will be back here, starting summer camp training, just as last year, only this time, together.

My hopes of having some time together alone with Bella, after Daytona and before training starts, go down the drain as Phil reveals the next plans.

"May and June," Phil starts. "You'll have to talk to Charlie, but now that you're 18, you don't have to go to Forks anymore. So that's when we step up our game. We will have the new uniform line ready by then. I'm thinking, stunt clinics and special trainings all over the nation." Phil scrolls through the iPad, showing the screen to Bella. "We'll get footage of everything to post on the channel but also to finally pitch the docuseries to Netflix. I have a few colleges and All Star teams already lined up."

I stop listening then because, fuck, it sounds like a lot, and while he does mention hiring a crew of stunters for the tour, I would be surprised if his plans include me. And even if they did, I was hoping to really catch my breath this summer, recharge, mentally…physically.

I feel Bella needs that too.

Bella squeezes my hand again, peeking briefly at me, and I think I'm not as good at keeping my expression composed because her face subtly falls as she sees mine.

I go over it in my head throughout the rest of dinner. Convincing myself that it'd be okay if Bella goes on that tour through the summer. If it is what she wants. If it will give her joy. I'll go to Fort Collins and help my mom a bit, schedule some privates, until it's time to come back. It will suck being apart for so long, but we will then be together when training camp starts.

Phil takes care of the bill, and I fight the urge to check how much he tipped the poor waitress who's been flustered and full of apologies the whole time we've been here. Bella excuses herself to go to the bathroom with her mom following close behind as we all leave the table, which leaves me alone with Phil as we go get the car.

Phil gives a lengthy description to the valet driver and then turns to me, checking behind me before a smug smile spreads on his face.

"Bella is on her way to achieving great things," he starts. "Things she has been working hard for her whole life."

"I know, sir. She's amazing."

His laughter is fake, like the hair that has been implanted in his scalp.

"We won't let things get in the way of her achieving her true potential." He inches closer to me, lowering his tone. "I won't let anything—or anyone—get in the way."

"I'm not trying to be in the way," I say honestly, and a little defeated, because what else am I supposed to say? That I think they're overly controlling? That I think they're exploiting Bella and her talent for their own benefit? That I think Bella's unhealthy relationship with food started at home—with her mom? That I think they should back the fuck up and let Bella live her life and do whatever it is she wants to do? "I just want her to be happy," is what I say instead.

"Good," Phil says, squeezing my shoulder. "You should want me to be happy too, then." His demeanor changes as Bella and her mother come up behind me, and he drops his hand from my shoulder with a pat and a smile.

I shake it off and open the door for Bella, getting in behind her, looking forward to them leaving and having a chance to talk to Bella.

~.~.~

"You okay?" Bella asks as her parents drive away, having just dropped us off at the dorms.

I nod and smile at her, tucking her hair behind her ears. "You?"

She hugs herself to me while the nightly breeze blows her hair over her shoulders. I look up at the clear sky, the moon in full display, so bright we might not even need flashlights to make it up the hill.

"Do you want to take a walk with me?"

"Our bench?" She looks up, her eyes shining with the moon reflected in them.

We walk hand in hand and mostly in silence, both lost in thought. I wonder what's going on inside her mind, how she feels the dinner went.

We make it to the bench and sit side by side. The mountains that surround our campus are in black silhouette, their peaks highlighted by the moonlight. The moon, impressively large, is floating right in front of us.

It's a sight.

I wrap my arm around Bella as she shudders a little under the breeze, even though it's an atypical warm night for March.

"Do you see the bunny?" Bella asks all of the sudden.

"What bunny?" All I see is her.

"The bunny on the moon." She turns to me in amusement, as if it's obvious.

"There's no bunny." I laugh because I'm hopeless when it comes to her.

"See?" She clasps her fingers under my chin and turns my face to look at the sky and the moon in full display. "It's facing up." She gestures with her hands. "You can see the ears and the head. I think the head is the sea of tranquility, or serenity? Where Apollo 11 landed. And the ears are two of the other ones. Nectar and Fertility, I think. The body and tail then get kind of fuzzy."

"Oh…" I humor her, even though I don't really see it.

"You don't see it, do you?" She chuckles and I can't help but join in.

She brings her feet up on the bench, wrapping an arm around her knees and snuggling up under my arm.

"I'll talk to my dad about the summer tour," she starts, her eyes on mine. "We can get you on it and make sure you get paid, too. It might be fun?" She smiles, hopeful. "Traveling by bus through all the states?"

I might be projecting my feelings onto her, but she doesn't seem excited about it, not even one bit. She looks exhausted. Her face falls a little more as she inspects mine.

"It'll be so much better if you come along," she says, disappointment coloring her tone.

"Bella, do you even want to go?"

"It's a good opportunity. I should do it."

"That's not what I'm asking."

She sighs, looking down and setting her chin on her knees.

"What would you like to do this summer?" I ask gently, running a hand over her hair. "If you could do anything. Anything at all. What would you do?"

"Sleep," she says through a chuckle. "Maybe go to the beach. A real beach," she adds, peeking at me. "Not a lake one. One with palm trees where it's warm and we could lie on the sand all day."

"You want to char under the sun?" I joke as I hug her.

"I'd bring a hat. And sunscreen," she teases back. "For you, mostly."

I hug her to me as she takes a deep breath, looking up to the moon again.

"Or I'd like to visit Charlie. Forks isn't that bad in the summer either and he is fun and laid back. He'd take us fly fishing on the creek. It's relaxing, and I get a lot of time to paint when I'm there."

"I'd go to Forks with you."

"What about Paris?" she says, just when I thought she was done. "I've never been. I'd like to go to the Louvre. Go to one of those cute cafes you see in the movies. Set up and paint in a park somewhere. Stunt in front of the Eiffel Tower. I think I could rock a beret."

"You sure would." My heart aches because I want to give her all of that. My mind starts going over numbers and what we could afford this summer. We could travel cheap. I could save up and schedule more sessions in the next couple weeks. I could—

"I can't, though," she says, interrupting my thoughts. "I have to go on that tour."

"Do you actually have to?"

She shrugs, avoiding my eyes. "You don't want to go," she says, avoiding my question.

"It's not that I don't want to go. I'd go with you if it's what you really want. But to be honest, I'm exhausted, Bella. I'm tired of being exhausted all the time. I'm pushing through because Daytona is just around the corner, and I won't slow down now, but after Daytona?" I close my fingers under her chin, making her look at me. "Fuck yes, I'd like a break after Daytona. Some downtime. With you. We could go to Forks, or to the beach, or anywhere you want."

"It's not going to be busy every day on the tour, I don't think?"

"Bella," I sigh. "Don't you feel you need a break too?"

"I do." Her eyes water, breaking me in two. "But I'm 18 years old. This is the start of my career as an adult. Getting a Netflix deal would be huge. It'd be a game changer. I don't think I should pass on this opportunity. Regardless of how tired I am, I can push through." Her words say one thing, but her demeanor says something else entirely. Tears are now trickling down her cheeks, chin trembling, as she hugs her legs. She looks so small.

"There will be other opportunities, Swan." I wrap my arms around her and scoop her onto my lap. "I'm worried about you, that you're taking on too much." My whispers fall into her hair while she shakes her head and spills little sobs into my neck. "Honestly, if this is what you really want, what you dream of, then I'll go with you. Or I'll stay and you go, and we'll make it work. I don't want to be the one who holds you back from the life you want, but you need to tell me it's what you really want."

She seems to think about it for a bit, and her cries cease. Then she lifts her head from my neck, looking up at me.

"You're not holding me back, but this life…it's what I always thought I would do," she says softly. "It's who I always thought I would be."

"That's different though."

She turns to look at the mountains again and takes a deep breath. Then she nods in determination, wiping her tears with one hand.

"I'll talk to Phil." She turns to look at me with wet eyelashes and hopeful eyes. "I'll try to get out of it."

I breathe out in relief. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah…" Her lips finally stretch into a real smile. "I don't want to spend my summer in sweaty gyms going over basic stunts again and again. You're right. I am tired. I'll burn out this way."

I kiss the side of her face, holding her to me.

"But, then you're coming to Forks with me," she adds in a teasing tone. "And we will go to the beach, my Colorado boy."

"I'll go to the beach with you," I agree with a kiss. "I'll get sand in every crevice, just for you."

She giggles against my lips, wrapping her arms around my neck. I kiss her under the moonlight, getting lost in her and our new summer plans.