Chapter 12 – Family

Author's Note: In which Obi-Wan returns, a different man. :)

Thank you all so much for reading, favoriting, following, and/or reviewing this story! :D

~ Amina Gila

Anakin's heart is pounding when Obi-Wan's shuttle lands. He wants to speak with him again, but after he told Yoda, they only interacted once before his master left on a very extended mission. If his master suspects anything, he will be furious. He can't let his master sense his fear, though, so he struggles to let it go.

Obi-Wan looks slightly irked when he arrives, not as though that's surprising. "That was completely unnecessary," he grumbles, "I had no reason to go on that mission."

"The Council wouldn't have chosen you if there weren't a reason, right?" Anakin objects. He can't help how jittery he feels.

His master huffs. "Sometimes, I wonder if they're just trying to spite me."

Anakin can't help a faint smile. The one he gives feels mostly forced, anyway, though. "Maybe."

"Are you alright, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks softly, "I can feel how withdrawn you are."

He needs to be careful. He can't deal with Obi-Wan's reaction to discovering Anakin betrayed him. It makes him feel sick knowing that he did it as is and facing his master's anger or disappointment or betrayal would be too much to handle. "It feels like I don't know you anymore," he says instead, nothing he hasn't said countless times before. It feels like he's slipping into a bottomless pit of depression in which he's only doing more and more things he'll forever regret, but he doesn't know how to stop it.

Obi-Wan lays his hand on Anakin's shoulder, warm and comforting. "I know. I am sorry you have to go through this. We never intended to hurt you. I wish I knew what to do. We can only spend more time with one another."

"Time doesn't do much," Anakin replies, closing his eyes briefly, "Master, you lived an entire life without me."

"I lost years with Vader, too. I understand this."

He loathes even more how it feels as though he's been stuck in this, and hasn't been able to get over what happened. He's been trying to help Ahsoka through the continued war – it's not easy. He would try harder to help Obi-Wan through this, too, if he knew what to do. But every time he thought of what Obi-Wan is now, he... couldn't. His master is a Sith, and that's everything he taught Anakin to destroy. Except, he can't do that if... it's his family.

Maybe he should leave the Order. Ahsoka is the only thing stopping him. He doesn't want to leave her.

"Little one," Obi-Wan says softly, "You are not alone in this."

The endearment warms something in his heart. It also makes him want to cry, because this is the affection he's wanted so much, but now that it's being offered, he doesn't know if he can accept it. "It always feels like I do," he confesses, "I can't call you my master anymore. And you..."

"I know I was... often harsh with you, even as a Jedi," Obi-Wan replies, "And I regret that, but we can't change it."

Anakin can't help briefly wondering if he should tell Obi-Wan himself that he, technically, betrayed him. He can't imagine being able to admit the entire thing, of how deeply his conflict was tearing him apart until he did... that. One thing he'll never be able to forgive himself for. The Obi-Wan he knew would be furious at him for it, and with the changes, he might not be, but that would be worse. It would be far worse if his master wasn't angry at him and understood it, because his guilt would destroy him.

"I don't blame you," Anakin promises, except he'd like to think he doesn't, but he can't say that with certainty. He is upset about it, often. He should let it go, but there are some things that will never go away.

He doesn't think he could feel any guiltier than he already does, though – he feels dirty. Obi-Wan trusted him, and he betrayed that. He should have... he doesn't know, but his master is being so gentle and he's...

"What's wrong, Anakin?" his master inquires softly.

He breathes in and out shakily. Nothing will prepare him for this discussion, but he can't help it. "I told them," he blurts out in a rush. "I told Master Yoda. I think that's why he sent you on that... mission. I don't know what they're planning. I'm sorry, I – I didn't know what to do."

Obi-Wan pulls back, blinking a few times. He looks... overwhelmed. Hurt. Somehow, that hurts even worse than him being angry. "If the Jedi came to us on Tatooine," he says, his voice almost deceptively soft. "If one of us were harmed, it would be on you."

Anakin looks away. "I know. I have no excuse."

His master turns away, pacing a short distance, his conflict warring in the Force, before he turns around again. "I will not deny being angry at you for putting us at such risk, but I can understand your reasoning. I... was torn for a long time. I wouldn't betray either of you. A part of me wanted to tell the Council, but I have been under other's control for too long. I have lived under fear for too long. When I had Vader, I feared Sidious would take him from me. I was willing to do anything to prevent that. I don't truly care for an Empire. I never have. Only him, and you."

Obi-Wan is searching his face for something, but Anakin has no idea what. "I'm sorry," Anakin says again, softly. He doesn't know what else to say.

"I know. We knew it was a chance we might have to take. I will not tell the others. Vader would understand, but I imagine the others would be... upset."

Anakin nods slightly. "Thank you. That's... more than I could ask for."

"I am inclined to agree."

**w**

Vader isn't surprised Athair wanted to talk to him privately – he's been expecting it, and he's still overwhelmed with the fact that his master is alive. He didn't quite expect to get pulled into an almost crushing embrace the moment they're alone though. Vader returns it with equal fierceness. "I know your... younger days were difficult," his master says, holding him at arm's length, "And I am sorry for aiding that. I was so blinded by my fear of Sidious taking you."

"I know," Vader tells him, and he does, but having his master say this leaves him speechless. What could he even say to it? This is Athair. He – he never apologizes. He doesn't need to. He's the master. Everything they do is his choice. Yes, Vader had little say in it, but it doesn't matter. He understood it. It hadn't been until after Athair died that he realized exactly how little control he had of anything, and...

"I know you forgive me," Obi-Wan says, "But forgiveness doesn't change the past. I raised Anakin different from you, but I was loyal to the Code with him as well. Seeing the damage it has caused to you both is..."

"I cannot fault you for it," he replies. It still upsets him though. It probably always will, but he understood that Athair was his teacher as much as his father, if not more, which made it hard.

"You may be a Sith, but you still have Anakin's heart." He smiles, though there's a pain lingering in his eyes, and Vader hates seeing him like this. Athair was always like that, in many ways – he always had other motivations for his actions. He was always in pain. He was always afraid. "You will always let go of wrongs if they're done to you."

"Mom taught us to be that way," he murmurs. Even years later, speaking of her hurts. He highly suspects in part that was because they were slaves, and they couldn't afford to hold grudges. It would only bring more harm both to them and others.

"That is another thing you and Anakin share," Athair says, a faint smile on his face. "He was raised by his mother until he was nine also. He... struggled at the Temple for a long time. He was never able to understand the Jedi's teachings of letting go. You are right that he would be easy to turn, but I don't want to do that to him. I wish I hadn't done it to you."

It leaves him taken aback, because what? His master had always tried to make him more powerful, tried to push him farther so he could be better. "I... don't understand."

His master smiles again, but it's pained. Vader loathes when he looks like that, but he often seems to. "I lived a second life as a Jedi," he points out, "And I cannot judge my own actions in either life based on the beliefs of the other, but I know I hurt you. I was afraid for myself, but that doesn't right the wrongs I did to you, or how you believe it... normal."

"It is normal."

"You were harsh on Rapax, but never like I was on you."

"You were lenient on me compared to what Sidious did," Vader protests. It's not as though he hasn't seen the lightning scars his master has, and it's slight disturbing to know this version of him lacks those, though it's also relieving to know he didn't suffer as much.

"Yes, I was." Athair reaches out again to pull him into a hug again. He seems to be feeling abnormally... snuggly. "I know I gave you what I could to keep you alive, and that will have to be enough."

"It is," Vader promises. "I don't need anything more."

**w**

Vader is still thinking about his conversation with Athair when he and Anakin sit down to have their first... conversation. It's technically the first one not prompted by anything, just because he wants to get to know the boy better – he wants to understand what it is about him that his master cares for so deeply.

So deeply, that he wouldn't even risk... doing what he did to Vader, but then again, he doesn't know how much of it is the Jedi part of Athair versus the fact that Sidious is finally dead.

"Athair told me you were also on Tatooine until you were nine," Vader comments.

"I was," Anakin replies, slightly awkwardly. He doesn't seem to know how to talk, and to be fair, Vader doesn't either. He doesn't have casual conversations with people. He never has.

"What was he like for you?" Vader inquires.

"He didn't want me there," Anakin answers. There's a hidden pain in his presence that Vader can still sense acutely. "He didn't want me as a padawan. He took me because his master asked him to, and his master... died right after we met. It wasn't an easy time for either of us."

"Athair had to keep me out of Sidious' eye," Vader tells him. It's ironic and almost amusing to see the similarity yet stark differences in their lives. "He and his master were... as you can imagine. Sidious was brutal and he passed much of that on. I... was wary of him for a long time."

"I was, too. Sometimes," Anakin confesses. That old habits die hard, and they'd been through enough on Tatooine to always be wary is something that goes unsaid, and Vader wonders idly if it was as bad for Anakin as it was for him, or if he even wants to know. "But I knew he was a Jedi, and he would never hurt me. I... slept next to his bed for months afterwards because I couldn't stop thinking – I knew his master, and I'd just lost Mom."

"My master lost everything when he was a young child," Vader says, "I can't imagine a world where that never happened. He was an Initiate when the Order was destroyed. Sidious turned him himself. It changed him a lot. Many of his friends never made it through, and those that did were... changed. He was alone."

Anakin winces. "That explains his darkness. How did he... get yours? I know we have natural dark tendencies, but..."

Vader makes an annoyed sound – he can't help it. "Do we?" he challenges, "For years, all I heard was how I was 'too Light'. They were wary to let me train Rapax, even."

"Honestly, I'm surprised the Council is letting me train Ahsoka," Anakin adds, smiling faintly. "Obi-Wan gave her to me because he was... or I should say I highly suspect he was being petty and trying to even the score."

Vader snorts. He can honestly imagine this version of his master doing that, too. "Athair wanted me to train an apprentice. Now, I suspect it was also to keep me hidden and slow me down, because if I held my powers back, it would draw less attention. He was afraid Sidious would realize I was the Sith'ari, and it would be over for all of us. For Athair, at least, because he was careful to keep me to himself."

"Obi-Wan and I never talked about what we were to one another," Anakin continues. "We never... thought to put it to words. He was something like a father to me, though. I loved him. I still do."

"It was similar for me," Vader replies, "But he did talk about it, eventually. Once he accepted love isn't weak." He can't imagine how it would feel if his master didn't talk about it. He would have been... lonely, to be sure, and it would've hurt. His master was the only person he had until he met Angelus, and their bond took far longer to form. It didn't quite have the same intensity and closeness as Athair and him had, even in the beginning, and that never changed.

"I wish he'd told me," Anakin murmurs quietly. There's a lingering note of pain there, and it's so confusing and jarring not to sense it being used to fuel the Dark Side the way Vader himself is so accustomed to. "I thought it never really mattered to him. That if I kept trying, maybe I'd finally be enough for him to notice. Someone worth his time."

Vader has to physically restrain himself from telling him to use the Dark Side and lessen the pain. To let it strengthen him and... but no. He's not supposed to do that, and his master has lost so much already. He doesn't want to "take Anakin from him, too" – and he can finally understand, somewhat, what it's like. Leia drew on the Light, and it seemed to make her happy. "I understand that well," he admits, "I struggled with it for a long time as well. I can't imagine why he would have treated you that way, though."

"Maybe I did need to be more. I don't know. It doesn't matter, anyway. He's gone now." He smiles, but it looks somewhat forced. "I'm glad you, at least, get the chance to be happy here. To settle down."

"You can, too, you know," Vader points out, "Padme is here. You can leave the Order and stay with us. We would welcome you." And truthfully, he would find it far less awkward for Padme to be here if Anakin was as well. She may be nothing like Angelus, but they have the same personality and look and a disturbingly similar presence and being around her is... extremely weird and downright unsettling.

Anakin is already shaking his head. "I would like to, but what of Ahsoka? I can't leave her just because I want to be happy here. I can't abandon her. What if something happens? She'll have to get another master, and she already took so long to get used to me..."

"Well," Vader says with a conspiratorial smirk – he can't help it, okay? "I guess your master giving her to you didn't work out so well for him, after all."

Anakin laughs. It's odd to hear, odd to talk to him at all, because this is himself, but he finds he rather enjoys it. "True enough, but I can't imagine he would leave the Council, anyway. He can make a difference here, and... but I don't know."

"He only cares about us," Vader reminds. "I think he would be quite relieved to leave everything so we can live together – not as if we could ever manage such a life."

Anakin is smiling somewhat wistfully when Vader glances at him again, no doubt trying to imagine what a family would be like. Vader can't imagine not having one, even if it felt like it was only part of one, one half thrown together in a desperate attempt to make up for what was lost, but there was nothing and no one that could replace Athair. Not even close. "That's true," he agrees, "Jedi aren't supposed to seek out adventure, but it always seems to find us."

"Are you sure it's unintentional?" he asks dubiously. Though he can say the same for his own lineage. They did occasionally go on missions that were supposed to be low-profile and not draw attention, but predictably, one of the three of them would mess it up and chaos would break lose. Either because Athair offended the wrong person and it blew up in everyone's faces, Vader overlooked something stupid and obvious, or Rapax wanted a bit of adventure too badly.

"Well, we like to think it is."

"Keep telling yourself that, then."

"I will," Anakin replies lightly. Not for the first time, Vader can't help wondering if there's something else there, something that happened that he's not admitting, but Vader doesn't press for details. If it's important, his master will figure it out and tell them. It's not something he needs to concern himself with. If Athair says they can trust Anakin, they can. They don't need to be concerned about it.

**w**

Being here with all the Sith, while silently knowing what he did is... hard. Especially so thinking of how Obi-Wan reacted to it, and the way Leia was talking to him only days ago. She called him family. It means a lot more than it should – whether she's a Sith or not. He cares for the twins, himself.

And he can't get his mind off the conversation with Vader either. The others keep calling him the twins' uncle – Vader's brother – and maybe that is a little what their relationship is like. It's not as if he would know what a biological sibling is like. He never had one, even if he sometimes wonders what his life would've been like if he did have a sibling. It's not something he can imagine in actuality, though.

Seeing the others together makes him miss his own Ahsoka, though. Really. He wishes she could be here, but Ahsoka would never accept the Sith any more than Rapax would accept the Jedi – she hasn't even been around Anakin himself very much for that reason.

The others are gathered in a room here that they converted to a... living room. Anakin is mildly impressed with how much the years of misery lingering on the walls has begun to fade already. Likely it's only because of the total change in atmosphere. The Sith probably feed off it too, or however that works. He doesn't know how that makes him feel. It's... nice to know that they can transform generations of misery into something useful and help the people move on, but it's against everything he was taught as a Jedi, and he doesn't understand.

All of them but Rapax and Mara made it perfectly clear that he's welcome here, so he hesitantly goes in to join them. He wishes all of this didn't have to be so complicated. He almost wishes he hadn't told the Council. But... it was the right thing to do, wasn't it? Obi-Wan wasn't really angry at him for it, though he was definitely hurt.

Ever since he returned from that mission, he's seemed a little more... There's been more traces of the Jedi him there. Is there more of his own Obi-Wan left than he thought? It's still hard to accept, with how he's gotten used to it feeling like he's gone, but maybe there's a little more of him still there than Anakin thought. Even if he'll never be the same again.

(Does he really want Obi-Wan to go back to that... detached attitude he had before? He wants things to be normal, but... not like that. Never like that. He doesn't think he could survive such a drastic change in attitude again.)

Anakin takes a seat next to Obi-Wan, trying to ignore that awkwardness of being in this... family, when it still doesn't feel like he belongs here. If he doesn't belong here, he doesn't belong anywhere, after all.

"Now I wish Prince could join us," Leia comments cheerfully. She and Luke are seated by Vader, who's on Obi-Wan's other side.

"You said he chews loudly. You really want than in here?" Luke argues.

"I think we could do without... an occupant of that size," Obi-Wan replies dryly.

"Their third sibling," Rapax drawls.

"I do not recall adopting it," Vader objects.

"You did as soon as you decided to keep that thing alive," Ventress retorts. Anakin still doesn't know what to think of the fact that she's here, too.

"Then perhaps we should bring it in here," Rapax smirks.

"I am inclined to agree with... Obi-Wan," Anakin speaks up, for the first time. He thinks using his master's not-Sith name makes everyone falter for a moment.

"Angelus would not appreciate it," Vader agrees.

"I wouldn't appreciate it," Padme says flatly. She came in here, too, even if she isn't sitting next to Anakin – although only because there isn't enough room.

Obi-Wan reaches over, lightly touching his arm, and in spite himself Anakin hesitantly leans into the touch. He wants it, but it's... still strange. And uncomfortable when he's in a room full of people, because affection of any kind is something he's so accustomed to hiding except in private. None of the others are hesitant about it, though.

Vader meets his eyes for a moment, a look of... he can't name it. But he's happy to have him here, Anakin thinks.

He's already snuggled against Obi-Wan's other side, so Anakin finally gives in, leaning closer until they're touching, lightly resting his head on his master's shoulder.

He can feel Obi-Wan's affection, and he reaches for his presence, intertwining them – Vader is already doing the same. For a moment, it almost feels like his Obi-Wan is still here, and he lets himself hold onto that feeling, even if maybe he shouldn't. He's tired of missing him, especially when this Obi-Wan is giving him much of what he always wanted.

Anakin really wishes Ahsoka could be here now, because everyone else in his family is. He doesn't know how they're going to work this out, given that so many of them are Sith, and the Council might decide to take some action – Anakin can only silently hope that they won't, because if they do, it is true that all of it will be on him, but then, so would anything the Sith do to hurt people – but he doesn't want anything to ruin this.

Ever.

The twins and Rapax are squabbling about something epically stupid, and Anakin can't help wondering if that's what his and Padme's children will be like with Ahsoka. He wonders what it would be like for his future children to meet Vader and Angelus' children. Will they be Luke and Leia, too? He doesn't know.

This family seems... happy, despite how chaotic it is and that they're all Sith. It shouldn't be possible, but somehow it is, and that's all he's ever wanted. Likely, that's all any of them have ever wanted, and... he's grateful they're finally having their chance at it.

Final Notes: If you want to join our Discord to receive updates or just hang out, here's the invite link, and please delete the spaces! :) discord . gg / nqSxuz2

You can find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (which is our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes; we also advertise our SW gift exchanges on there)

And! We have a YT channel for tributes! Please delete the spaces in the link. :D youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

Finally, if you're interested, you can submit a SW gift fic request via the following form (delete the spaces): forms . gle / rmXWtRomMMaULuPa6