warning: contains slight dubcon elements
Tori's head hung low as she tried to ignore the repetitive thud of her father's footsteps. He paced back and forth in front of her, grumbling and swearing under his breath, and his agitation hadn't abated in the slightest – not even after an extra hour of patrolling. Tori was far too exhausted to offer any attention to his fury. Her heart ached every bit as much as it did the moment she decided to attack Jade. The agony of their broken bond – only hours after it was born.
"A vampire?!" David growled again, at least for the fourth or fifth time. Tori had no energy to answer him. He waved a hand in barely contained fury, "How did you imprint on a vampire? Have you lost your mind?"
She had nothing to say. No words could rectify the damage done. No words would even come close to placating her father's anger. No words could bring back the pleasant warmth and sweetness of Jade. She closed her eyes tight to fight back the tears, but she had no luck. She couldn't control the surge of emotions every time she thought of her mate. Former mate. She kept trying to remind herself, but the reality felt too painful to accept.
"David, give her some space," her mother called out from the kitchen. She'd been awoken by the commotion of her husband and youngest daughter the moment they returned home, and had taken it upon herself to be their mediator. She approached with two cups of hot cocoa and set one in front of Tori, then addressed David, "You need to calm down. She already imprinted – and she broke it for you. Just so you wouldn't do this."
"She imprinted on a vampire!"
Holly didn't back down from him, "And yelling at her for it is accomplishing...what, exactly?"
He didn't have a response for that. His attention returned to Tori and he seemed to, for the first time, notice the anguish she was in. He knelt down in front of her and rested a hand on her knee, "Tori," his voice was calm and quiet this time, and she looked up with red, puffy eyes, "What happened?"
Tori tried to put her thoughts together to answer him, but the memories alone were enough to make her break down all over again. She buried her head in her hands and just cried as the pain overcame her. Holly rubbed her back gently, though her tone was harsh, "David, why would you make her do that? You know damn well how dangerous it is!"
"I didn't-"
She immediately cut off his weak protest, "You absolutely did! You were going to kill Jade if Tori didn't act – what was she supposed to do?"
"If she'd been more careful-"
Holly held out a hand, "No, that's enough. Just look, David," she gestured at their distraught and grief-stricken daughter, "Look what you did to her."
David stood up as he tried to defend himself, "Vampires aren't safe mates! They're bloodthirsty monsters who pray on the innocent."
"And what exactly are you, David?" Holly stood up to look him in the eye, "When you imprinted on me, wasn't that the same description you gave yourself?"
He was silent at that, and Tori quickly got up and bolted up the stairs to find some solace. She shut and locked her bedroom door, then leaned back against it and sank down to the floor as she continued to cry. She was heartbroken, exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to escape her misery into the abyss of a deep sleep.
On shaky legs, she quickly stripped off her clothes and climbed under the blankets. She curled up into the fetal position and hugged her knees as she stifled her cries into her pillow. Her body eventually gave out as she cried herself to sleep.
Jade felt a strange sense of freedom as she walked through the halls of Hollywood Arts. It only took a few hours to entirely compartmentalize her pain deep in her mind, and after the first several periods of the day, she knew Tori wasn't at school. She briefly wondered why, then just as quickly decided it didn't matter. She's nothing to me now. At lunch, she was presented with her first opportunity to move on.
She sat down at the table with the rest of her friends, and this time, as Cat leaned into her affectionately and hugged her, Jade didn't fight her off. She accepted the hug eagerly and easily reciprocated her affection. Jade had known for months that Cat had feelings for her, but she'd never found it in herself to let her in. Beck eyed them suspiciously, but he wisely chose to keep his mouth shut.
As Jade pulled Cat into the janitor's closet and kissed her with as much passion as she could muster, she couldn't quite kick away the strangeness of the situation. Cat smelled sweet, like candy and fruit, and her lips tasted like strawberries, her tongue like some kind of sugary cereal. It felt off and wrong, but Jade didn't stop. She drew in her sickly sweet scent and wondered what she might taste like.
"Cat," Jade whispered into her ear and waited until she showed the slightest signs of acknowledgment, then asked, "Do you believe in vampires?"
"What?" Jade just raised an eyebrow as Cat's hazy eyes struggled to focus on her, "Yes?"
Jade nodded slowly, "Good." Cat's eyebrows knitted together in confusion, and Jade flattened a hand on her abdomen to hold her against the door, "Do you want to be one?"
Her eyes widened slightly, "Are you…?"
"Yeah," Jade mumbled.
"I..." She hesitated, then shook her head, "No, I don't."
Jade took a step back and nodded, "Alright."
Cat reached out for her, "Wait, I don't wan..." She trailed off, then asked, "Do you not want to be with me?"
"I really should be with someone like me," Jade offered dismissively.
Cat looked up at her, "Can I think about it?"
"Yeah, sure," Jade shrugged. She reached for the door handle, then paused, and met Cat's eyes again. Deep brown, but still so different from… Shut up. Stop thinking about her. She's nothing to you now. Without another thought, she leaned in for another kiss, then left the closet.
The free feeling she'd felt early in the day seemed to dissipate throughout the day, and by the final bell, she felt exhausted. She hadn't found any relief in Cat and already felt guilty for attempting to use her that way. Her heart ached and she felt empty. Later that night, after she gave up finding relief anywhere else, she found her way back to Beck's trailer and banged on the door several times. Only a few moments passed before he opened the door.
"Hey Ja-"
She pushed him back and slammed the door behind herself, "Just shut up and fuck me."
He looked as if he wanted to ask more questions, but he didn't try to fight against her desires. It was rushed, frantic, and heated. It'd been months since they'd slept together, but it was easy to fall back into old habits. She never let him kiss her, and for the vast majority of the time, she kept her eyes closed. She just tried to lose herself in the familiar feelings, but infuriatingly, her mind continued to stray back to the one person she tried to forget.
Jade rolled over to face the wall as Beck removed the condom and cleaned himself up. A few minutes after the awkward ending, he spoke up, "Are you okay?"
"The fuck do you think?"
"Uh...well, I'm guessing things with Tori aren't going great."
Jade grumbled, "Fucking astute."
He sat down on the edge of the bed, "Do you wanna talk about it?"
She grabbed a pillow and covered her head with it and willed him to disappear. His calm, albeit slightly nervous demeanor didn't shift much. Instead, she heard the zipper of his backpack and rustling of papers as he seemed to take her silence as a firm 'no.' He silently worked on his homework for some time, and eventually, Jade rolled over to look at him. He'd put on a pair of loose shorts and a muscle shirt, and had a notebook open in his lap.
"She attacked me."
Beck looked back at her, clearly surprised by her sudden announcement, though he remained calm and tried to just roll with whatever she was willing to disclose, "What happened?"
"I don't know," she mumbled quietly. "I thought things were alright, but then when I met her in her territory, her pack surrounded us and she turned on me."
"Did she set you up?"
Jade's heart ached as she shook her head, "She was just as confused as I was until..."
He glanced back at her with concern, "Until?"
"She tried to distract them as I ran away, but I fell out of a tree, and they surrounded me. None of them tried to attack me, but they all kept howling for some reason, and suddenly she just...charged at me. I gave up and let her kill me, but she didn't, she just kinda...nuzzled me, then kept attacking me until I crossed the border."
"Do you think she was protecting you?"
Jade scoffed, "She was the only one trying to kill me."
He bit his lip and shrugged one shoulder, "You offered her a chance to kill you, and she chose to do that instead."
She rolled her eyes, "Real benevolent of her."
"I'm just saying, maybe she attacked you because that's what the pack expected of her. How did she act when you crossed the border?"
"She acted all innocent and submissive," Jade spat angrily, "After everything she put me through, she still-"
"Tried to show you that she cared?"
Jade groaned loudly and ripped the blankets off of herself as she stood up and quickly threw her clothes back on. "I don't care," she lied as she put on her jacket, "She fucking betrayed me."
"Think about this, hey?" He stood up and held out a hand, "You faced the entire pack, but they didn't attack you – she did, and she showed you mercy, and then tried to express her feelings for you."
Jade rolled her eyes and threw her hands up, "Thanks for the rundown, Captain Obvious."
He huffed, "Jade, come on, just think about it. If she hadn't been the one to attack you, who else would it have been?"
She bit back a retort as she realized that the other answer was that the entire pack would have tried to kill her – and without mercy. She considered answering him, but instead, she just left the trailer and slammed the door shut behind herself.
Tori didn't show up at school for the rest of the week, and Jade didn't know how to feel about it. It only took a few days for Cat to return with a resounding 'no' to her proposition, though by that point, Jade didn't care much at all. She felt a horrible fatigue in her entire body, but in her heart and mind, especially. She was desperate for relief of any kind.
The weekend showcase offered another opportunity – this one much more promising. Ryder Daniels had recently taken an interest in her. She knew his record and his motives, but she wasn't concerned with any of that. He followed her into the quiet school and she made sure he saw her slip into the janitor's closet.
The moment he shut and locked the door behind himself, Jade pounced and turned predator into prey. She sunk her teeth into the soft flesh of his neck and drank greedily. He tried to fight her off, but her strength far surpassed his, and by the time she drank her fill, he was weak and feeble. She threw him over her shoulder and made her escape from the school. The run back home passed by quickly and she didn't waste any time restraining him in the basement of her home. She knew she didn't want him to be free when he woke up with a seemingly insatiable thirst.
She went up to her bedroom and slipped into bed, hoping for something akin to restful sleep. She was exhausted and couldn't seem to find any relief anywhere. Even drinking from a human barely offered her the energy to carry him all the way home.
Jade found herself in the familiar fog of her dreams, though the area was remarkably barren. She seemed to be in some kind of forest clearing, with tall oaks all around and thick underbrush made her feel like she was meant to be trapped in the circle of grass and small purple flowers. Paw steps behind her made her whip around, and her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at herself, shifted into a massive panther. Across the clearing, a dusty brown wolf pushed through the underbrush. The two met in the middle, seemingly unaware of her presence, and affectionately nuzzled one another. The panther purred loudly and the wolf's tail wagged with the enthusiasm of a Golden Retriever.
As she tried to wrap her mind around the scene in her mind, another rustle nearby caught Jade's attention, as well as the attention of the two shape-shifters in the clearing. Jade turned and saw a black wolf, as big as Jade, but not quite as big as David, but as black as night. The wolf's eyes glinted a bright, familiar green. Jade lifted her right hand to see the emerald shining with the same luster. The black wolf had a strangely familiar scent, although it was quite clearly different from anything she'd ever encountered. It trotted toward the two in the clearing and first nuzzled the dusty brown wolf, then turned to playfully wrestle with the panther.
Jade's mind was reeling at the strange scene unfolding in front of her. As the black wolf and the panther reached a stalemate and nuzzled each other, over a dozen more wolves pushed through the underbrush into the clearing. Jade could recognize several from Tori's pack – David among them. The black wolf again wrestled playfully with David, then another gray wolf nearby. The panther seemed every bit as comfortable among the pack as the dusty brown wolf sitting next to her, lovingly grooming her head and ears.
A loud roar ripped Jade from her bizarre dream, and she rubbed at her eyes. As the sleep faded from her mind, she realized it was screaming, then remembered her captive in the basement. She trudged out of her bedroom and down the stairs to the basement. Ryder struggled against the chains, then winced as Jade flipped on a light.
"Morning, Daniels."
"Jade?" He struggled more and growled, "What the fuck is going on?"
Jade stretched her muscles and his aggression quickly slipped into arousal. She gave him a sickly sweet smile, "You're a vampire now – and you're going to be my mate."
He seemed confused, but when Jade stripped off her shirt, he swallowed his protests. The same as she had done with Beck, she let her mind wander as he helped himself to her body. Jade knew the only thing she had to do was to let him finish inside her and he would be hers, and she could finally let Tori go completely.
The thought of her previous mate made her hesitate, though before the pain could set in again, Ryder's thrusts became frantic and uneven. She closed her eyes and waited, but even as his movements slowed and he stopped to catch his breath. Jade felt sick. The scent of his cologne gave her a headache, his weight on top of her was cumbersome and uncomfortable, and she had no desire to touch him again.
Why didn't I mate? Jade closed her eyes tight at the thought. Did I only have one chance? Maybe if I just keep trying?
Tori piled her pillows up under her head as she flipped through the old, tattered book. Her exhaustion hadn't abated for weeks now, and she was beginning to lose hope. She'd gone on countless patrols, nearly every single night to the furthest borders of their territory, but she never once scented Jade.
It'd taken days before her father would even sit down to listen to what actually happened, and by the time he had, Tori had grown used to the hollow feeling in her chest. It made it all the more surprising when it seemed to ache with a slow smoldering burn as she explained her short relationship with Jade. Despite being as honest as she could, there was one thing they couldn't understand – how Tori had imprinted on Jade.
She'd spent the weeks trying to heal from the broken bond reading as much as she could about werewolf imprinting. The more she read, the more she began to wonder if the bond between her and Jade had truly been broken beyond repair. Every book noted the ability for a werewolf to imprint a second time upon the successful breaking of a bond, but each also explained how the effects of the severed bond would diminish within only a couple weeks. It had been nearly a month, but her symptoms hadn't even begun to fade.
The book in her hands, however, caught her attention like none of the others had. It had an entire chapter on homosexual werewolf imprinting; the first chapter describing how two males could reproduce; the second about how two females could reproduce. Her eyebrows furrowed as she read through the faded passage.
"...a union between a werewolf and her mate, however immoral on the surface, is valuable among most packs. As most packs aim to increase their numbers to gain and protect territory...female werewolves have evolved the ability to properly mate with their female imprintee...after the bond is accepted by both parties the wolf is able to shift their genitalia to ensure strong heirs..."
A knock on her door ripped her from her reading and she quickly shut the book as she called out, "Yeah?"
"Tori?" Her mother opened her door with a gentle smile, "How are you feeling?"
She sighed and averted her eyes, "Not great."
Holly sat down on the edge of her bed and rested a hand on her arm, "Still not any better?" Tori shook her head and her mother frowned, "Do you think it would help to go back to school?"
Tori fidgeted with her blankets and pursed her lips, "Maybe. I've been...anxious."
"I understand, but think of it this way," she smiled softly, "It has to be better than suffering without her, doesn't it?"
"Maybe," Tori sighed and huddled under her blankets, then nodded, "Yeah, you're right. I'll go back tomorrow."
Holly reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from Tori's face, "I'll make sure you have something to eat in the morning," she winked and Tori finally smiled back at her, "Get some sleep. Goodnight sweetie, love you."
Tori rolled over and snuggled into her pillow, "Night, love you too."
Sleep found Tori quickly, and she felt the wind in her fur as she ran through a field of dark purple flowers. The loud thudding of her paw steps sounded too frequent, and she glanced to the side to see her mate next to her; her midnight black fur rippled over well-defined muscles as the panther matched her pace easily. Tori threw her head back and her howl rang out through the forest around them. The pair came to a stop near a small tree next to a large boulder. Jade nuzzled her affectionately as a low purr rumbled through her.
Heavy paw steps ran toward them; a wolf as black as a shadow with piercing green eyes. Without a second thought, Tori turned to greet the wolf with a bark and licks all over its head and ears as her tail wagged wildly. Jade came over to sit down on its other side and carefully groom the black wolf's ears and coat. A few distant howls signaled the arrival of the rest of the pack as they joined the three in the field. Tori could recognize almost every wolf in the pack, all except the black wolf, however familiar it smelled.
As the wolves play wrestled and groomed one another, Jade suddenly let out a deep roar next to her. Seconds later, several more pairs of eyes appeared in the darkness of the forest before a group of huge cats joined the group; mountain lions, tigers, African lions, a lynx, bobcats, leopards, and cheetahs all came together to meet the pack of wolves. To Tori's surprise, almost all of the cats seemed friendly with the wolves; many laying together to groom each other, others play wrestling as they ripped up grass and purple flowers. Tori lay down at the base of the tree, the panther behind her, lovingly grooming her ears and nuzzling her cheek.
A monotonous beeping tore her out of the peaceful meadow and back into her reality – complete with the hollowness in her fought against her fatigue to get out of bed, though almost immediately, her eyes were drawn to her dresser across from her bed, and the wolf statuette sitting atop of it. The black stone carved into the shape of a wolf's head with the same piercing green eyes from her dream. A family artifact most recently unearthed after the passing of her grandfather.
She shook her head to clear out the mental fog and got up to go take a shower. Tori felt slightly more energized as she got ready for school and wasn't as annoyed by Trina's antics as she usually was. She dared to hope the day would be a good one – maybe even that she would see Jade, if she was lucky.
Trina somehow managed to park in 3 separate spots at once, then did absolutely nothing whatsoever to fix her parking job before grabbing her purse and heading inside. Tori huffed and headed toward the entrance, though she was stopped by Beck near the Asphalt Cafe. He smiled warmly at her.
"Hey Tori."
She smiled back, "Hey, what's going on?"
He adjusted the strap of his backpack and splayed out his fingers, "You tell me – you've been gone a month."
Tori bit her lip and shrugged, "Yeah, I was...really sick."
"I heard." She looked at him curiously and he suddenly seemed uncomfortable, "Look, I didn't want you to freak out or anything, so I just figured I'd warn you. Jade's kinda...I think she's moved on."
Tori's heart sank and she tried to hide her pain, "What do you mean?"
Beck messed with his hair nervously, "She's involved with Ryder now, apparently."
"Ryder?"
"Yeah, I was surprised too."
Tori frowned, then just shrugged, "Well, that's her choice."
He smiled apologetically, "I just wanted to give you a heads up."
"I appreciate it."
She took a deep breath and entered the school, heading straight for her locker. As she sorted through her books for the day, she glanced over at Jade's locker and saw exactly what Beck had warned her about. Jade was unabashedly making out with Ryder against her locker with next to zero regard for her surroundings. Suddenly, Tori sensed someone next to her.
"She's been acting...weird," Cat said quietly.
Tori carelessly slammed her locker and leaned back against it as she looked at Cat, "Why do you say that? Other than...that."
"She was really into me for about...two days," Cat shrugged, "Then she chose Ryder. I guess he was willing to be turned."
Tori raised an eyebrow, "She turned him?"
Cat nodded, "About two weeks ago."
"Guess I've been gone a while," Tori joked in an attempt to lighten the conversation.
"No kidding," she mumbled.
She spared another glance at Jade and this time, met her eyes from across the hall. Jade's eyes lingered on her and Tori offered a small smile. Jade looked confused for a few seconds, then turned away from her. Several hours later in between classes, Tori suddenly felt a hand wrap around her wrist and yank her toward the janitor's closet. Jade reached past her to slam the door shut.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
Tori exhaled sharply and smiled slightly, "Hello to you, too. I was sick."
"Sick? For a month?"
Tori hugged herself and shrugged, "Damaging a bond is...excruciating, at best."
"You did it to yourself."
She nodded slowly, "Yeah," she bit her lip and looked away, "I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that they were going to kill you if I didn't."
Jade crossed her arms, "But you didn't kill me."
"I couldn't live with myself if I had," Tori whispered.
Jade held up a hand, "Why do you give a shit?"
She huffed and shook her head, "Why do you think? I told you, Jade – I love you."
"That's hilarious," Jade deadpanned.
"I do," Tori protested weakly.
Jade leaned back against the wall, "So that's why you damn near killed me?"
Tori averted her eyes, "I never wanted to hurt you."
"Yeah, I could tell that when you left me bleeding and barely able to fucking walk," she snarled.
Tori bit her tongue and decided not to offer any further assurance. She knew it didn't matter. She was already regretting her decision to return to school. She reached behind herself for the door handle, "All I can say is I'm sorry. I panicked and I did what I thought was best. I couldn't live with myself if you were killed because of me."
Jade's eyes narrowed at her, but Tori didn't wait for her to lash out again before she opened the door and slipped out of the closet. She stopped by her locker to quickly grab her things, carelessly tossed them into her bag, and headed for the door – she didn't have it in herself to suffer through the rest of the day.
She walked toward the edge of the forest, then several meters into the darkness before she shrugged off her backpack and quickly stripped off her clothes. She stuffed them in her bag, then let the wolf inside her take over her body. She shook out her coat anxiously, then carefully picked up her backpack by its straps and ran through the forest back home. Upon reaching the edge of her territory, her pace increased until she came to a familiar tree with a small hallow near the base, and she left her backpack in the small alcove.
Tori walked the perimeter of their territory slowly, not necessarily meticulously, but more meandering. Her mind was a chaotic storm of destructive thoughts and all she wanted to do was to run away. She didn't want to go home and face her father. She didn't want to go back to school to face her friends. She didn't want to stay in the area to face her pack. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to see another person again.
She stayed out for hours and could have sworn she'd marked every single tree in their territory. The sun had long set and as the moon dimly lit the forest, Tori approached a tree with very distinct claw marks on its trunk. She sniffed a few times and easily recognized Jade's scent. She circled the tree a few times, then lay down at its base with a small huff. She absentmindedly groomed her forepaws, then rested her head on them and closed her eyes.
A twig snapped and roused her from her nap. Tori raised her head and listened carefully as she tasted the air. Another wolf. Light blue eyes appeared between a patch of underbrush and a gray wolf approached her cautiously. She wasn't sure who it was – but the scent told her that it was definitely part of her pack. The gray wolf stopped about a meter away from her and sniffed several times, as Tori did the same. Male.
He let out a low, quiet whine, then lay down next to her. She wasn't sure how to react, but as he leaned over to gently groom her head and ears, she relaxed. She licked his cheek once in thanks, then rested her head on her forepaws and closed her eyes. She fell asleep just as the wolf shifted slightly to rest its head on her back.