Peter was about to "provide Christina with her fair and mutually agreed upon payment" (lol sure) when Four gave birth to a giant ass fuckibg tapeworm through his nostril. It crawled out onto the floor and stared at everyone and everyone stared back.

"FOUR WTF IS THAT" TRIS SCREAMED

"im riddled with parasites. the dauntless dont believe in proper sewage maintenance because it would mean we're cowards afraid of drinking dirty water and we ARE NOT COWARDS BITCH I LOVE THE TICKLE OF THE CHOLERA JIGGLING IN MY INTESTINES AND THE RICH TANG OF LEAD IN MY WATER MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING," FOUR DECLARED. "IM ALIVE TRIS IM ALIVE AND ITS BEAUTIFUL. COME SEEK THE THRILLS OF LIFE WITH ME TRIS!"

then four pissed his pants and died on the floor. there were visible worms crawling in his piss, but no one was really all that concerned until they noticed that the worms were carrying rocket launchers and shit.

"Dude four was just a trojan horse for a tapeworm army to invade us," peter said in disbelief.

"guys guys dont worry itll be ok. all we need is a little diplomacy and we can negotiate peace," al said before bursting into song. "kumbayaaaa my lord"

Four's tapeworm army didn't appreciate musical numbers. They shot off their rocket launchers. Al was fucking obliterated.

"MASHALLAH" EVERYONE SHOUTED.

But Allah's will wasn't actually for Al to die, just for Al to do the fake-out death trope thing, so he got up and dusted himself off.
d
"FUCK" TRIS SCREAMED. "YOU'VE FAILED AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT NOT BEING ONE OF THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO DIE EVERY YEAR I HATE YOU ALBERT I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND BEG GOD TO KILL YOU AND EVERY NIGHT I FALL ASLEEP FANTASIZING OF THE HORRIBLE WAYS YOU MIGHT MEET YOUR DEMISE OVERNIGHT YOU PANSY ASS CASTRATO BLEEDING HEART WUSSY MANGINA BITCH"

Everyone cried tears of reverence because Tris finally managed to piece together a masterpiece of flawless poetry that perfectly encapsulated the exact power and passion of their obsessive hatred toward Albert.

Al's life was saved when the US Army and the South Vietnamese army came over to kill the tapeworms.

"Yo wtf is it 1963 or something" Peter asked like the little punk bastard he was

"Actually it is BITCH AND YOURE ABOUT TO BE DRAFTED" one of the soldiers said.

"you cant draft us im DIVERGENT!" TRIS SCREAMED. IN A BURNING RAGE SHE SHOT SHARPENED CANDY CANES OUT OF HER FINGERTIPS AND VIOLENTLY SPEARED THE SOLDIER IN THE CHEST, PUNCTURING HIS BODY ARMOR AND SPRAYING PEPPERMINT BLOOD ALL OVER THE ROOM WITH ARTERIAL FORCE.

"that made me penis hard" will said.

"YOUVE KILLED ME NOOOO" the soldier screamed. "now youre gonna get DOUBLE DRAFTED"

"Yeah ok. try it bitch," Christina said.

The US Army immediately did, in fact, try it, and soon Tris and company were riding a Jeep through the jungles of Vietnam.

Four was alive again for whatever reason and he was being sexy on the back of the Jeep doing shirtless poses and shit until they hit a bump and he fell off and one of the tires went directly over his head.

"that looks permanent," al said. "say, tris, will you be reopening boyfriend applications?"

tris responded by reaching several miles into the trees for the nearest viet cong soldier and shoving him straight up al's ass.

"this is just like that one thingy but in reverse," will commented.

"what an esoteric reference," christina added.

"is it a reference if you don't know what you're referencing?" peter pondered.

then the jeep drove over a mine, but the power of the explosion forced everyone into the vacuum of christina's vagina. christina, being an impenetrable titan, suffered no damage, but the jeep was destroyed.

will slammed his fist against christina's cervix in frustration. "goddamnit our jeep!"

"HEY STOP HITTING MY CERVIX HAVE SOME FUCKING MANNERS WILL"

"Maybe he'd have manners if it didn't smell like fish in here," Peter said.

"Peter if you complain again im gonna do a fucking kegel and thatll be the end of you"

"ok. bet."

Christina got ready to tense her pussy muscles and pop Peter like a rotten grape but then the Viet Cong ambushed her. She was so surprised that she gave birth to everyone on the spot.