Chapter 10 - Guilt
A month has passed since Katrina's last doctor's appointment and now, being twelve weeks into her pregnancy, it was time to go to the gynaecologist again. She was waiting anxiously in her flat in Baker Street, waiting for John to pick her up and bring her there. She rubbed her hands, her legs were shivering a bit. There was a slight fear in her, a fear of a possible miscarriage. This baby was the only living remainder of Sherlock, it would be devastating for her to lose it. As she placed her back against the cushion of the couch, she placed her hands on her belly, praying for the baby to be alright. She took out her phone and held it to her ears, letting it read the time. John should be entering any minute now. And just as she thought so, the door opened and she heard the familiar sound of John's footsteps.
"Ready to go?", he asked in a friendly tone. Katrina stood up, nodded her head, grabbed his arm and they left.
"How are you doing so far?", he asked when they entered the taxi which was waiting right in front of the door of Baker Street.
"Often tired, but okay, thanks.", she answered as she fastened her seat belt. The driver started the motor and she immediately felt fatigue crawling up her mind, as she listened to the vehicle humming.
"Do you remember when we first went out eating? You, me and Sherlock?", Katrina asked, smiling towards John. She heard a huff which indicated to her that he also had to smile.
"Oh yes. You mean this tiny sushi bar, right?"
She nodded.
"I had these California Rolls, Sherlock just drank tea. And you? You had an entire bento box.", they both laughed at this memory.
"Yeah, he was never too big of an eater. But you know? I knew at the very beginning, from the way he was looking at you, that he had something for you.", John said. Silence followed his statement as they were both trying not to be heartbroken again.
"When we went home after our dinner, I mean, after we brought you home, he was mainly just staring out the window, contemplating. And then I told him, how you actually lost your eyesight. I told him it was my faul-"
"No! Stop it, John."
"But it was!"
"If it wouldn't have been me, then someone else! And maybe they would have killed you! Who knows?", she answered in a strict tone, indicating to John that there was no chance to discuss this matter with her.
"You should have just let me stay there. You are younger than me. You had everything ahead of you!"
"So did you."
John huffed. Silence followed again as they moved on.
"So, and what did he say?", Katrina asked.
"He said… Well, I think he first wanted to hit me. But then he said how amazing it is to see someone doing such precise deductions, even though they don't have eyesight."
A smile appeared on Katrina's face. As the car continued to drive through the busy traffic of London, she looked outside, wishing she could see what was actually going on out there. And as so often, John immediately understood her thoughts and let her know what was going on outside
"There is a red bus with a lot of asian tourists in it.", he whispered to her.
"How do you know they're tourists?", Katrina smiled, turning her face towards him.
"They are in there and making photos of everything they see inside and outside.", he chuckled.
"I love London.", Katrina whispered after a short pause.
"I have sailed the world, beheld it's wonders, from the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru…", John sang into her ear.
"But there's no place like London.", she continued and they both chuckled about their spontaneous song.
"Oh, your little one is developing just great!", the doctor said, doing the ultrasound on her belly.
"I am so glad to hear that.", Katrina sighed, laying her arm on her forehead.
"The baby is even doing slight movements right now. You probably won't feel them yet, but give it maybe one more month, and you will feel every little kick from this little person."
The sound of the baby's heartbeat brought tears into her eyes. How much she wished for Sherlock to be here and experience all that. It was one of those bittersweet moments that made her happy and sad at the same time.
"In some weeks we would be able to find out the gender. Would you like to get to know about it?", the doctor asked and handed her some paper towels, so she could get rid of the cold jelly on her belly.
"Oh, no, I would like that to be a surprise at birth.", she answered. Katrina never liked all this big deal about whether to buy blue or pink things for babies. And she anyways wouldn't see the colours of the baby's clothing, so she couldn't care less about that.
"The sweetest surprise you could wish for.", the doctor added. Katrina pulled her shirt down and sat up. She yawned.
"You probably still feel fatigued a lot. But don't worry. In two weeks you will be in your second trimester and things will start to get a little bit easier. The fatigue will probably be less and you won't feel nausea anymore. Oh, and that's also a great time if you still want to do some travelling. Are you planning anything?", the woman in front of her asked.
"I really don't know yet. I am trying to keep things calm for now, let's see how the next few months will develop.", she answered, trying not to think about any missed possibility to have a proper babymoon with the father of her unborn child.
—-
"Would you like to join me for a cup of tea inside?", Katrina asked John when the cab stopped in front of Baker Street. She heard him humming, which was a sign for her to expect his company and so she unlocked the door. Inside she was greeted with many familiar voices.
"I told you she would take her time. And why are you not joining her to her doctor's appointment? You'll be an uncle before you can say the word 'money' again!", she heard the high pitched voice of Mrs. Hudson.
"It's an important matter that can't wait for too much longer. I need her here in her room, not in some room with the smell of disinfectants.", Mycroft barked back.
"Mycroft, let me finally show you my paper I wrote in school. We had to write about our role models and one of them is you!", Tara yelled across the room. Katrina chuckled. Why did she deserve such a sweet girl?
"Oh, there you are!", Mycroft exhaled, when she entered the house, instantly taking her arm and leading her up to her flat.
"Let me at least bring you some tea and biscuits!", Mrs. Hudson yelled from her kitchen and the sound of her heels echoed across the room.
What was planned to be a calm afternoon with John, turned out to be a major social event inside her flat, accompanied with tea and biscuits, many talks and chatters. And before she could ask herself what Mycroft was doing here, he handed her over a piece of paper.
"Sherlock prepared for the case he would die during one of his cases. He wanted you and Tara to have the best possible life. So he opened an account for you in his name where he saved all his money and earnings he didn't need himself. So, there you go."
Katrina gasped. She couldn't believe that Sherlock actually cared for a situation like that, even though they were neither married, nor in a real official relationship.
"It's two million pounds. He asked me also to give his share of the heritage of our parents, once they'll pass, to you. And even though he actually wouldn't inherit that sum anymore, considering his early death, I made sure in my testament that you will receive the share.", Mycroft said. The room went silent. Katrina stroked with her fingers over the envelope she was just given. She started to cry, and with that, Mrs. Hudson and Tara hugged her tightly.