Madam and Missy — A Pride and Prejudice Variation
This is dedicated to all the writers both here and on KU who've released their stories for free! As I enjoy reading them so much, I thought that I'd have a go, and here it is.
[Note that I'm a Brit, so have written with British spelling, punctuation and terminology 😏]
In which there is the return of a dragon!
Darcy
"Speak now or forever hold your peace."
"I object!"
Along with the rest of the congregation, Darcy turned to see the owner of the dissenting voice: Lady Catherine de Bourgh, face white with fury.
"On what grounds do you object, Catty?" the bishop called down the aisle.
"You are to marry Anne!"
Matlock rose to his feet, his face a mixture of impatience and annoyance. "Catty, what is your objection to my son's marriage to Miss Bennet?"
Darcy nodded to Stevens who slipped out of the chapel behind the invader.
Unhearing, Lady Catherine has continued, "I have a special licence for Darcy to marry my Anne."
"That ought not prevent Richard from marrying Jane, here," boomed Matlock.
Lady Catherine seemed to gather her thoughts. "If she were sensible of her own good, she would not wish to quit the sphere in which she has been brought up."
Shaking his head in disbelief, Sir Thomas said, "In marrying the colonel, she would not be quitting that sphere. He is a gentleman; she is a gentleman's daughter; so far they are equal."
"And she would be both aunt and stepmother to the colonel's bastards!"
Stevens had returned with reinforcements. "Stevens! Have her returned to the house! I will not allow Jane's day to be spoiled further!" the colonel cried.
"Unhand me! Unhand me!" Lady Catherine's cries faded away.
"Now, where were we," said the bishop. "Ah yes, speak now or forever hold your peace."
As one, the members of the congregation held their breaths.
Elizabeth
After the interruption, the wedding of her dearest sister to her cousin went well. Jane was a beautiful as ever, her smile contagious as they returned for the breakfast. Later, good wishes followed them as they drove off in a pony cart to the dower house.
Elizabeth and her remaining sisters watched and waved until the newly-weds were out of sight, then, with linked arms, they made their way to the rose parlour.
"What shall we do today, Lizzy?" asked Lydia.
"It will not surprise you, sister dear, that I intend to take a walk," Elizabeth replied.
"What say you that we accompany you?" asked Mary, with a laugh. "Or are you set to race off for miles and miles?"
"As I raced for several miles earlier this morning— " began Elizabeth.
"Indeed; I can testify to that." Darcy joined them. "Ajax and I found her in the next county."
"Aye, and it was as well that you did," added Elizabeth, grinning up at him. "Else I might have been late returning to Jane's wedding."
"So, now you are to go on a short stroll with your sisters?"
"And anyone else who would care to join us," replied Elizabeth.
Lydia interjected, "I shall invite the ladies— "
"And I shall invite the gentlemen to follow you," Darcy finished.
It was not a very large party which left the parlour to take a short stroll, but most of the children had decided to run along too. They gently rambled around the rose garden and along the edge of the park near the woods.
"It is quite lovely here, is it not, Lizzy?" said Mary.
"You are correct, Mary. And you will not be too far away with James to come to visit us often."
"We shall leave for his parish on Saturday."
"I shall miss you." Elizabeth leaned over to kiss Beatrice's head. "And this little one."
Mary echoed her movement, kissing Phoebe's head in return. "As we shall miss you."
Their path took them back towards the house and they could hear the men's chatter as they gradually caught up. Elizabeth turned to smile at her husband.
"Oh lawks!" Lydia's cry drew her attention back.
There was Miss Bingley standing waiting for them.
I hope that she has packed and is ready to leave, Elizabeth thought.
"We must continue to cut her," Lydia announced.
Elizabeth expelled a great rush of air. "Would that she would just leave!" she muttered.
"Cut her, Lizzy," bid Lydia.
The group continued strolling as if Miss Bingley was not there in their path. Some of the men had paused and were pointing out those parts of the stream ahead where there was usually most sport. Elizabeth could hear Darcy's voice offering to supply Mr. Gardiner and the other fishermen with fishing tackle.
Everyone could tell when Miss Bingley had spotted Elizabeth among their number.
"You! You!" she shrieked.
The ladies ignored her and walked on, approaching a little bridge over the stream.
Lydia
Holding Melissa's hand and chattering with the young girl as they strolled along, Lydia cut Miss Bingley along with the rest of the party.
And saw it all!
Miss Bingley shrieked.
Melissa started.
Miss Bingley took affront.
Melissa poked Miss Bingley in the knee.
Miss Bingley snatched her leg away …
… lost her balance …
… and fell …
… off the side of the bridge …
… into one of Pemberley's many streams.
No-one started to rush into the waters to rescue her.
"Well done, Melly!" cried Lydia, scooping up her niece and kissing her cheek.
Melissa clapped her hands at hearing such praise. The others joined her. The applause turned to sniggers, then chuckles, then laughter.
Darcy's shout broke through the gaiety: "Miss Bingley! I am having my spare carriage brought around. You will be on it and away from here, immediately! I care not where you go!"
"Eliza's bastard pushed me into the stream!" cried Miss Bingley, struggling to stand.
"Do not— " He stopped as Elizabeth put her hand on his chest.
"May I?" she asked him.
"Indeed."
"It is about time that you left Pemberley. You are no longer welcome here, nor at Darcy House. You will not use my family's name to gain entrance to society. Good bye, Miss —sniff— Caro."
"Oh, well done, Busy Lizzy! That was a perfect sniff!"
Lydia laughed at Lady Prudence's non sequitur, and looking up, saw Stevens in a first floor window. She pointed him out to Melissa and they waved. He bowed as deeply as the glass would permit; the distance not concealing his grin.
Miss Bingley was not giving in easily. "No! I have every accomplishment needed to be Mistress of Pemberley! Why choose her?"
"You have none of the accomplishments needed to be my wife! You have no compassion, no kindness, no caring. You constantly try to claw your way up by clambering on the backs of others. Your reputed twenty thousand pounds are nothing compared to the joy, partnership and love that I have in the many years of my union with Elizabeth."
Lydia watched as Darcy regarded Miss Bingley with distaste. "Every time that you have belittled, besmirched or bullied my wife— "
"Your only wife!"
"Indeed; my only wife." Darcy pulled her close to kiss her lips, then again addressed Miss Bingley, "Every time that you have been cruel, every time that you have disgusted me with your behaviour, every time that you have tried to force me to offer for you, you have shown me how very lucky I am that my mother chose Elizabeth as my wife."
As the other guests started to drift back towards the house, he continued, "Your carriage awaits you. From now on, I will not know you."
Miss Bingley gasped.
"If I hear one word, one piece of gossip, one little malicious en dit from you about my wife or my children, this direct cut will be the least of your humiliations."
They turned to walk back inside. The others flowed around them, as the waters of the stream did around a pale-faced Miss Bingley.
Miss Bingley
Mr. Bingley pulled her from the stream.
"We shall leave at once, Charles— " she began.
"No, no, we shall not."
"Yes, you are correct. Allow me to bathe and change, and we shall resolve this." Miss Bingley pulled her sodden skirts away from her and tried to walk. The fabric clung and entangled her legs and she stumbled. "Really, Charles. Give me your arm."
He led her to the waiting carriage.
"No, no, I needs must change as I mean to bewitch Darcy. Then you and he can have your marriages annulled; his will not be legal anyway."
"Caroline, listen to me!"
"Really, Charles. I think not"
He took her by the upper arms and shook her. "Listen! Darcy has cut you. All of his family have cut you. As soon as you leave, I shall cut you."
"Really, Charles. Your supposed marriage to one of the Bonnets has addled your mind."
Mr. Bingley sighed and addressed the woman clinging to his arm. "May I introduce you?"
"Really, Charles. I have no desire to be introduced to your— "
"Mrs. Bingley, may I present Miss Caroline Bingley, who used to be my sister? Miss Bingley, I make you known to Mrs. Charles Bingley, née Miss Anne de Bourgh, heiress of Rosings Park."
"What? What? Why did you not say that she is wealthy? That she has connections?"
The carriage started to pull away and Miss Bingley thought that she heard Lady Prudence say, "Now was not that worth waiting for, distant son?"
The end 😏
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