Shadow Over Hellmouth Chapter 5: Never Kill a Boy on the First Date, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

"Never Kill a Boy on the First Date"

Based on the Episode Written by Rob Des Hotel and Dean Batali

Buffy was fighting a vampire in a cemetery. She kicked him in the face with a high roundhouse kick, forcing him to step backward to keep his balance. The vampire did a jumping half-twisting crescent kick, which Buffy ducked. He tried two punches, and Buffy neatly blocked them. On his third punch, she grabbed hold of his arm and hit him in the face with a high front snap kick. Letting go of the vampire's arm, Buffy punched him squarely in the midsection and followed up with a swinging punch to his face, sending him to the ground.

"We haven't been properly introduced." Buffy pulled out a stake. "I'm Buffy, and you're history!"

She plunged the stake into him as he got up. He fell to the ground.

Giles popped up from behind a crypt. "Poor technique." He came around to her. "Prioritizing sub par. Execution was adequate - but a bit too bloody for my taste."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Giles, don't mention it. It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity again."

"I'm not saying that your methods are without merit. It's, uh, y-you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be plunge and move on. Plunge and..." Something caught his attention. "Hello." Giles bent over to pick up a ring with his pen.

Buffy saw the ring. "Oh, that's great! I kill 'em; you fence their stuff."

Giles gave her a look.

"What is it?" Buffy asked him.

"I don't know."

"But it bothers you."

"Yes! Well, I...I thought this vampire was just on a random kill, but it may be something else."

"Something big?"

"Yes. I'd best consult my books."

The next morning, in the school library, Buffy was sitting on a table and studying the ring.

Giles made his way down to her from the stacks while leafing through a book. "That symbol on the ring - I believe it's the rune for fidelity, but, uh, it doesn't connect with any of the sects that I've studied."

"What about this?" Buffy showed him the ring. "On the inside. It's a sun and three stars. Haven't we seen that somewhere?"

"Let me see." Giles took the ring and looked closely. "No, I - I don't think this, um, represents any..."

Buffy looked in a book. "Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars. Yuck, check these guys out." She handed Giles the open book. "Told you it looked familiar."

"Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right."

"Ooh, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score!"

A boy with dirty blond hair came into the library and approached them. "Excuse me?"

Buffy looked at him but didn't say anything.

Giles looked up at him. "Oh. Owen. What do you want?"

"A book?"

"Oh!"

Buffy looked at Giles. "See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things."

"I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."

"I lost my Dickinson."

Buffy looked at Owen in surprise, a little grossed out. "Huh?"

"Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around. Kind of a security blanket."

"I have something like that. Well, it's an actual blanket. Uh, and I don't really carry it around anym-more..." Buffy shut up to avoid further embarrassing herself.

Giles pointed at the stacks. "Poetry."

Owen looked at Buffy. "I didn't think I'd find you here." He went up the stairs.

Buffy felt a bit offended. She got off the table and followed Owen. "Why not?"

"I - I didn't mean...I mean...I think you can read."

Buffy stared at him, irritated. "Thanks."

"But you don't seem bookwormy." He found his book. "The type of person to lock themselves in a dark room with a lotta musty old books." He looked up from the book. "Oh, and I've offended you."

"Forget it."

Owen started back down the stairs.

Buffy followed. "I love books."

Owen saw the book that they were consulting earlier on the table and headed over there to take a look. "What's this?"

Buffy shrugged. "Ancient shit. Order of Areola or something. Kinda interesting."

Giles walked around Buffy, took Owen's book, and headed to the checkout station. "Oh, Emily Dickinson."

Owen smiled. "I'm a big fan."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, her shit's not that intricate. You can sing any poem of hers to the tune of 'The Yellow Rose of Texas'."

Owen looked at her in confusion.

Buffy smiled. "Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for meeeeee! The carriage held but just ourselves and Immortalityyyyyy!"

Giles briefly stared at Buffy in bewilderment, and then he looked at Owen. "Yes, uh, she's quite a good poet, I mean for a..." He took Owen's library card.

"A girl?" Buffy asked, offended.

"For an American." Giles scanned the book and library card.

Owen looked at Buffy. "I'll, uh, see you in math...if I open my eyes at some point." He took the card and book from Giles and left.

"The Order of Aurelius is a very old and venerated sect. If they're here, it's for a good reason."

Buffy looked at Giles, uneasy.

Later, in the cafeteria, Buffy and Tara paid for lunch. They headed for a table, set down their trays, and sat down.

"So...how'd the slaying go last night?" Tara asked Buffy.

"It went fine. There's some new hoity-toity vampire sect in town."

"That's bad."

Owen walked over to their table. "Hey."

Cordelia came over, too, from another direction. "Owen, a bunch of us are loitering at the Bronze tonight. You there?"

"Who's all going?" Owen asked her.

"Well, um, I'm gonna be there."

"Who else?"

"You mean besides me?" Cordelia asked, surprised.

Owen looked at Buffy. "Buffy, what about you?"

"What?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"No, no, no!" Cordelia told him. "She, uh, she doesn't like fun."

"How 'bout we meet there at eight?" Owen asked Buffy.

"Oh, I didn't plan on going out tonight."

"Oh. Because your mom-"

"My mom?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I saw her at Walmart last night, and we got to talking...about you..."

Buffy stared at him in dread.

"...and I asked her if she thought you'd like to go out with me, and she was like 'Yeah! Of course! That's great!'"

Cordelia burst out laughing. Buffy felt really embarrassed.

"So how 'bout it?" Owen asked Buffy.

Buffy looked to Tara for help.

Tara shrugged. "If you say no, you might get a lecture from Mom. If you say yes, it's a night away from Mom."

Buffy looked at Owen. "Fine."

Owen grinned. "Great!" He walked away.

Cordelia walked away, laughing again.

Buffy groaned. "Fuck me."

Tara took Buffy's hand in sympathy, and they interlaced their fingers.

"Let me guess: you haven't told your mom about us."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Tara shook her head. "It's all right. Do it when you're ready."

After school, Buffy and Tara went to the library to get an update from Giles.

Giles walked over to them. "We've got big trouble. A violent and disturbing prophecy is about to be fulfilled."

Buffy nodded. "The Order of Areola."

"Aurelius. You were spot on about the connection." Giles walked over to the table. "I've looked at the writings of Aurelius himself, and he - he prophesied that the brethren of his order would come to the Master and bring him the Anointed."

"Who's that?" Tara asked him.

"Well, I - I don't know, exactly. A-A-A-A warrior, but - but it says he will rise from the ashes of the Five on the evening of the thousandth day after the Advent of Septus."

Buffy smiled. "Well, we'll be ready whenever it is."

"Which is tonight."

Buffy took in the information. "Tonight, okay..." She realized the conflict. "Guess I'll have to blow off my date." She panicked and looked at Tara. "Not literally!"

Tara laughed in amusement.

Giles looked at Buffy sternly. "Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master. The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight, we go into battle!"

That evening, in a graveyard, Giles and Buffy were sitting on a large gravestone.

Giles sniffed. "Perhaps I miscalculated."

"I'm thinking yes." Buffy sucked the rest of her Pepsi from her cup.

"Well, you know what they say. 90% of the vampire slaying game is - is waiting."

"You couldn't have told me that 90% ago?" Buffy asked him. "I could have been making out with my girlfriend."

"Well, we-we've certainly waited here long enough." Giles got up.

"Besides, there aren't any fresh graves. Who's gonna rise?" Buffy asked him.

"Apparently no one tonight."

"Then I can bail?" Buffy asked him. "I can go to the Bronze and find Owen. Apologize to him for blowing him off. Not literally."

"Oh, very well then."

Buffy hopped down. "Good night." She left.

Giles was puzzled. "'Five shall die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise.' I was sure it was tonight."

Buffy went into the Bronze and looked around for Owen. She saw Owen dancing with Cordelia. After a moment, Buffy shrugged and walked away.

The next morning, at school, Buffy got a book from her locker and closed it.

Owen came up to her. "Hey, Buffy!"

"Oh. Hey."

"W-Where were you last night?" Owen asked her.

"I was running late. When I eventually got there, I saw you were with Cordy."

"Ah. How 'bout we try it again for tonight?"

Buffy really wished he hadn't asked that, and she was about to decline, but then she considered her rejection might make its way back to her mother, and then she'd hear about it. She decided to be noncommittal. "Tonight? You and me?"

"Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink and they start fights."

"Oh, no, it's just...you and Cordelia were...somewhat...all over each other."

"I danced with her a couple of times." Owen made a look of distaste. "She's kinda grabby."

Buffy suppressed a laugh. "Okay, sure."

"Great! I'll pick you up at seven?"

"'Kay."

"Um, I'll see you then!" Owen left.

It took Buffy a while to realize she should probably mention her newly-scheduled date to Giles. She went to the library after eating lunch and walked into his office. He had a headache from researching and was just sitting down to have some tea.

"Hey, how's it going?" Buffy asked him.

"Uh, all right."

"That's great! Hey, remember that date that I had with Owen last night?"

"Uh, yeah. How did that go?"

"Cordy kept him company. But he came up to me this morning and wanted to reschedule for tonight. I didn't want to, but I eventually agreed, so I figured I should let you know."

Giles was frustrated with her. "Buffy, this is so irresponsible of you."

"I know. Listen, I'd totally cancel the date, but then my mom'd be up my ass - and not in a good way."

"What if you're needed tonight?"

"Then get a hold of me. I don't wanna go on this date, anyway. We'll probably be at the Bronze shortly after seven."

Giles sighed. "Very well."

That evening, in Buffy's room, Buffy and Tara were sitting on Buffy's bed and making out. Buffy ran out her tongue. Tara took Buffy's tongue between her lips and sucked on it. Then Tara ran out her own tongue. Buffy took Tara's tongue between her lips and sucked on it.

The doorbell rang.

An angry Buffy let Tara's tongue slip from her mouth. "Fuck! He would have to show up!"

Tara was disappointed but remained hopeful. "Maybe it's not him."

The girls stood up and walked over to the door. Buffy opened it. They left the room and walked downstairs.

Buffy walked over to the front door, unlocked it, and opened it. Giles was standing there.

"We need to talk."

Buffy stepped aside.

Giles came into the house. "My calculations may not have been as far off as I thought." He held up a newspaper.

Buffy looked at it. "'Five Die in Van Accident'?"

"'Out of the ashes of five shall rise the one.' That's the prophecy. Five people have died!"

"In a car crash."

"I know it doesn't quite follow, but - but it's worth investigating. Look! Among the dead was Andrew Borba, whom the police sought for questioning in a double murder. Now, he may be the Anointed One. The - The bodies have been taken to - to Sunnydale Funeral Home. W-We can-"

Owen showed up at the open door. "Hey!" He came into the house and saw Giles. "Uh, hi!" He looked at Buffy. "Ready to go?"

Buffy looked at Owen and then back at Giles. Giles sighed.

Buffy sighed, frustrated that they hadn't left sooner. "I won't go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me."

Owen looked at her, confused. "Is everything cool?"

Buffy looked at him. "All set."

Buffy waited for everyone else to leave the house. Then she walked outside, locking and closing the door behind her.

"Well, bye." Buffy waved to Tara and Giles and left with Owen.

"Is something going on?" Tara asked Giles.

Giles looked at her. "Oh, uh, probably not, no. I, uh, I suppose I'll just, uh, go to the funeral home in case, just see if anything comes up. Good night." He started to leave.

Tara felt concerned for his safety and walked after him. "I'll come with you. It's not like I have anything else to do tonight."

At the Bronze, Buffy was sitting at a table with Owen and listening to a one-sided conversation.

"The thing about Emily Dickinson I love is - is she's just so incredibly morbid. A lot of loss, a lot of death. It gets me. With a lot about bees, for some reason."

Buffy mindlessly sipped Pepsi through her straw. "Did she have a tragic and romantic life? With a lotta bees?"

"Kind of sequestered and uneventful. Which I can really relate to. I...don't get out much."

"You don't say."

"It's my fault. I just find most girls pretty frivolous. I mean...there's a lot more important things in life than dating, y'know?"

Buffy looked down at her beeper.

"Oh. Did I say something wrong?"

Buffy finished her soda and stood up. "Come on."

They walked to the dance floor. Buffy and Owen danced close.

"It's weird."

"What is?" Buffy asked.

"You! One minute, you're right there. I've got you figured. The next, it's like you're two people."

Cordelia entered the Bronze with some of her friends. She saw Buffy with Owen. "Aren't there laws against this sort of thing?" She walked over to them. "Owen! Look at you, here all alone..."

Owen looked at her. "Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy."

"Oh! Okay. Do you wanna dance?"

"No, I'm still here with Buffy."

"You are so good to help the needy. Well, when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know." Cordelia walked away.

Giles drove up to the Sunnydale Funeral Home. It was quiet.

Giles looked at Tara. "Wait here."

He got out, slinged his bag over his shoulder, and started around his car to the building. The night was creepy, and he had a look around. He continued toward the building but stopped short when he sensed something. He looked around again to his right. Nothing. As he turned back, he saw one of the brethren in front of him. He started to back away, but another one was behind him.

"Damn!" Giles cursed.

Giles was caught between two of the brethren of the Order of Aurelius. He pulled a cross from his bag and held it up to them. They cowered away in pain. Giles made a dash for the building, opened the door, and ran inside.

Giles looked around and put his cross back into his bag. He ran to the flower room door and found it locked. The brethren came into the building after him.

Giles found the door to the morgue unlocked and rushed in. He slammed the door behind him and looked around. He grabbed a filing cabinet, tilted it, and dragged it over to block the door. It worked; the brethren couldn't readily open it. Giles looked around for a way out. The windows were barred. He saw Tara through the bars.

"Ah!" Giles exclaimed, startled.

Tara raised the window sash. "Giles, it's me!"

"I told you to wait in the car."

"I saw two guys going in after you. Are they-"

Giles looked at the door. "They are!" He looked back. "Uh, listen, you should get to safety."

"Can you get out this window?" Tara asked him.

Giles tested the bars. "I'm afraid not."

"Look, I hate to state the obvious, but this looks like a job for Buffy."

"Uh, she has her - her...beeping thing!" Giles looked around. "Um, no phone, of course."

"Look, I'll get her. Just, uh, hang in there." Tara left.

Giles was worried. "Do hurry."

At the Bronze, Buffy and Owen were standing by the stairs.

"Do you want something to eat?" Owen asked her.

"Sure. Just make it something fattening."

Cordelia was looking on from the shadows by a door. "What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum? I mean...I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that. Uhhh!"

The door opened, and Angel came in.

"Ooh! Hello, salty goodness!" Cordelia looked at her friend. "Pick up the phone; call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him."

She started to follow Angel but stopped when she saw him go over to Buffy.

"Buffy."

Buffy looked at him. "Angel."

"Why is this happening to me?" Cordelia asked no one in particular.

"I was hoping I'd find you here."

"You were?" Buffy asked Angel.

"Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there."

"Tried. Failed."

"What do you know?" Angel asked her.

"Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada..."

"So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you."

Owen returned with a cheeseburger. "Here you go."

Buffy took the cheeseburger. "Thanks." She started eating it.

"You're here on a date?" Angel asked Buffy, surprised.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yeah." Buffy briefly looked at Owen. "Um, Owen, this is Angel. Angel, this is Owen."

"Hey."

"Hey! So...where do you know Buffy from?" Owen asked him.

"Work."

Owen looked at Buffy. "You work?"

Tara came running up, out of breath. "Buffy!"

"Look at this!" Owen exclaimed. "You show up everywhere. Interesting."

Tara looked at Owen. "You don't know the half of it." She looked at Angel. "What are you doing here?"

"I guess it's the same thing you're doin' here."

Tara slowly nodded. "Ah, probably." She looked at Buffy meaningfully and nodded toward the door.

Buffy understood. She looked at Owen. "Uh, excuse me, I have to leave. Thanks for the burger."

"You gotta leave?" Owen asked her, surprised.

"Yeah, sorry."

Buffy and Tara started walking toward the entrance.

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked Tara.

"The Sunnydale Funeral Home."

"The funeral home?" Buffy asked.

"Actually, that sounds kinda cool!" Owen exclaimed, following them. "Do you think we could all sneak in?"

"Bite me!" Buffy muttered to herself.

"What's that?" Owen asked her.

Buffy sighed and looked at Owen. "Um, Owen, I gotta go."

"I thought we were going to the funeral home."

"No, you can't."

"Buffy..." Owen took her hand.

Buffy pulled her hand away.

"What's the deal?" Owen asked her. "Do you wanna bail on me?"

Buffy sighed again. "You remember when you said I was like two different people? Well, one of them has to go."

Owen stared at her for a moment and eventually just nodded his head.

Buffy left with Tara.

Everything seemed quiet at the funeral home. Buffy and Tara came in through the front door.

"Which way?" Buffy asked Tara.

"The room's around back."

They went off to their left. Around a corner, they hit a dead end.

"Damn it!" Buffy cursed.

"This is so cool!"

Startled at the sound of the voice, Buffy and Tara turned around.

"Uh, Owen! You can't be here!" Buffy told him.

"Oh, and I suppose you guys are allowed? What are we doin' here? Are we gonna see a dead body?"

"Possibly several." Buffy looked at Tara. "Tara, watch him." She ran back the way that they came.

"Is she mad?" Owen asked Tara.

"Oh, she just wants to make sure there're no guards, so we don't get in trouble."

"Good thinking."

They started after Buffy.

Buffy was quietly walking down a hall, looking and listening. She found the morgue door open and went in. The place was a shambles.

"Giles?" Buffy asked.

His bag was on the autopsy gurney. The window bars were torn open. She found his cross.

Suddenly, one of the doors to a body storage drawer opened in front of her, and the drawer rolled out. Buffy jumped back, startled.

"Giles!" Buffy exclaimed upon seeing him.

"It is you. Oh, good."

"What happened?"

"Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them."

"Meaning...?"

"I hid. Uh, this, uh, chap was good enough to bunk with me till they went away." Giles jumped down off the cadaver.

"Well, w-were they here after you, or w-was it that prophecy thing?" Buffy asked him.

"Ah, well, that's what we have to find out. I don't know what these brethren mean to do exactly. Find the Anointed or - or - or - or give him something perhaps; uh, it's all - all very vague! And the Anointed may be long gone!"

"But he may not be."

"We must find out."

"Okay, I just need to get Tara and Owen out of harm's way first."

"Owen? You brought a date?"

Buffy sighed. "I didn't bring him; he came."

"Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time."

"I know. I'll get rid of him." Buffy started to leave.

"Y-You can't make him go out there alone; we don't know where the brethren are. I-I'll just-"

"No! No, Giles, he sees you, he's gonna have more questions than he already does right now. I'll take care of it." Buffy ran out into the hall and looked around for the others.

They came around a corner and saw her.

"Is everything okay?" Tara asked Buffy.

"It is."

"And we'll be leaving?" Tara asked her.

"We're not done lookin' around yet!" Owen exclaimed.

"He's right. So let's find a nice, safe, fun room to look around in."

Buffy led them down the hall. They reached the office door.

Owen looked at Buffy. "We tried the office here, but it's locked."

Buffy broke the lock. "No, it's not!" She went in.

Owen followed her in. "Well, I don't think we'll find much in here."

Buffy looked around. "That's the plan."

"Okay." Owen was confused. "What?"

Tara walked into the office.

Buffy finished looking. "I have to go now." She laughed nervously. "Um, to the bathroom; I have to go to the bathroom. If you hear anything, like a security guard or something, just be really quiet." She looked at Tara. "And barricade the door."

Buffy went out into the hall again and looked around on her way back to the morgue.

Tara closed the office door and started to pile furniture in front of it.

"What are you doing?" Owen asked her.

"Uh, just in case!"

Owen saw a curtain and drew it open. Behind the window, he saw a body covered with a sheet. "Oh, my!"

Tara turned around to look.

Once Buffy got back to the morgue, she and Giles started looking through the body drawers, hoping to find the Anointed One.

Buffy opened one. "Ewww, parts!"

"Keep looking; he must be here somewhere."

They kept looking. Soon, there was only one storage cell left. Giles opened it quickly, and Buffy pulled out the drawer. It was empty.

Buffy sighed. "Nothing."

"The Anointed must be gone."

"I guess. I mean...this is where they keep all the dead bodies, right?"

"Mm-hm."

Back in the office, Owen was looking at the body with fascination. Tara was worried.

"I read a lot about death, but...but I've...never really seen a dead body before."

The body's hand moved.

"Do they...usually move?" Owen asked Tara.

The hand moved again. Tara approached to have a closer look. The hand reached up and pulled the sheet off. A male vampire sat up and faced them. He stood up, looked down at himself, and flexed his hands.

He looked back up at them. "I have been judged!"

"What's goin' on?" Owen asked.

He and Tara backed away from the window slowly. The vampire approached the window and smashed it with his forehead.

In the morgue, Buffy and Giles heard the window being smashed.

"Oh, no!" Buffy started running to the office.

The vampire laughed. "He is risen in me! He fills my head with song!"

Tara and Owen frantically began moving the furniture away from the door.

The vampire stepped through the opening. "Pork and beans. Pork and beans! I can smell you."

Tara and Owen got the furniture moved. Tara opened the door, and they ran out.

The vampire followed at a quick walk. "You're the chaff, unblessed. I'll suck the blood from your hearts; he says I may!"

Buffy met Tara and Owen running down the hall.

Tara pointed behind herself. "He's in there!"

"Uh, go! Get out!" Buffy told them.

Tara looked at Owen. "She'll be okay. C'mon!"

They continued running. Buffy tried to find the vampire. She could hear him singing as he came down the hall toward her.

"Shall we gather at the river? The beautiful, the beautiful river?"

She decided to try to head him off another way.

Tara and Owen found the exit but were blocked by the brethren. Owen screamed. Tara pulled him around and behind herself. Instead of attacking, the brethren closed the gates. The hall was empty, but they could hear the vampire singing.

"I think he's coming this way!" Tara told Owen.

They ran and found themselves at the same dead end as when they first got there.

"Oh, God, this is too much! Owen cried.

Buffy rushed into the morgue. Giles was still there.

"What've you got?" Buffy asked him.

"What?"

"What'd you bring? Do you have a stake?"

"Oh, uh..." Giles handed her a stake.

"Thank you!" Buffy started back out the door.

"W-What should I do?" Giles asked her.

Buffy faced Giles. "Um, go outside and make sure the others are okay."

The vampire came up behind Buffy, grabbed her, and threw her into a cabinet. She hit the floor, unconscious.

Giles rushed to her aid. "Buffy!"

"Somebody's gotta help Buffy!" Owen started to run to the morgue.

"Owen!" Tara ran after him.

In the morgue, Buffy was awake again - but still on the floor.

The vampire approached Giles. "They told me about you while I was sleeping."

Giles held up his cross. It was painful to the vampire.

"Uh! Why does he hurt me?" He slapped Giles' hand away, and the cross went flying. He grabbed Giles and threw him into the crematory controls.

The fires in the chamber lit. Giles fell unconscious. The vampire bent down to pick Buffy up.

Owen came running in. "Buffy!"

The vampire raised her above his head.

"No!" Owen grabbed a tray and swung it into the vampire's back, stunning him.

His knees buckled, and he let go of Buffy. She staggered into an open body drawer door and fell down, unconscious. Tara ran into the morgue. The vampire turned, grabbed Owen by the neck, and growled as he moved in to bite. Owen grabbed an urn from a shelf and smashed it over the vampire's head. He fell. Tara ran over to help Buffy.

Buffy woke up again and tried to get up. Tara reached out her hands and helped Buffy up.

"Did you see that?" Owen asked them. "He tried to bite me! What a sissy!"

The vampire got back up, grabbed Owen, and smashed a body drawer door into the back of his head, knocking him out.

"No!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Dead!" The vampire let Owen fall. "He was found wanting!"

Buffy got him solidly in the gut with a front snap kick. He rolled over the autopsy gurney and onto the floor. She ran around to the far end of the gurney. He quickly got up. She pushed the gurney into his gut and then pushed down on her end, so it pivoted up to hit him in the chin. He staggered back and fell. She jumped up onto the gurney and did a roundoff onto the floor as he got up. He swung widely at Buffy's face, but she blocked it. He tried again with his other arm, hitting Buffy solidly in the face and knocking her to the ground. He taunted her as she quickly got up. Buffy blocked another punch and then hit him in the face with an open-hand punch. Blocking a second punch from him, she hit him in the gut with another open-hand punch. As he leaned forward from the pain, she kneed him in the gut and then shoved him backward into a counter.

Giles regained consciousness.

The vampire turned back to Buffy. "Your turn!"

He lunged at Buffy, but she sidestepped him and used his forward momentum to launch him into the air. He landed on the gurney, and it rolled over to the crematory. The gurney stopped when it hit, but the vampire continued to slide through the open door. Giles kicked the gurney away and slammed the crematory door shut. The vampire screamed. Buffy watched him burn through the small window. Then she noticed Owen trying to sit up.

"Does anyone have an aspirin?" Owen asked. "Or sixty?"

Buffy walked over to Owen.

"What happened to that guy?" Owen asked her.

"Oh..." Buffy paused and thought for a bit. "We scared him away."

"Oh, good. 'Cause, y'know, I would've-"

"I know. Here..." Buffy helped him up. "I'm sure this isn't exactly what you had in mind for our first date."

Owen rubbed his head. "Yeah! I was hoping maybe we'd finish at Ben & Jerry's."

"We still could."

"No, I - I - I think I'll just walk home." He started to go but stopped and looked at her. "Uh, which way's home?"

"I'll get you there."

"No, I'll - I'll go it alone."

Tara came over. "I'll make sure he gets home safely." She led Owen away.

Buffy watched them go.

Giles came over behind her. "Well, it's been quite an evening."

"I'm never letting my mom interfere in my love life again."

"Yes, um, good idea, that."

The next day, at school. Buffy and Tara were walking along the balcony, holding hands. They rounded the corner and started down the stairs.

Owen walked over to them. "Hi."

"Hi." Buffy paused and waited in awkward silence for him to say something. "This is going well."

"I don't really know how to say this, but...about last night-"

"You don't even have to. I'm sure you were pretty freaked out."

"Totally. And...I was wondering when I could see you again."

Buffy was surprised.

"I think you're the coolest!" Owen gushed.

"Really?" Buffy asked.

"I mean...last night was incredible! I never thought nearly getting killed would make me feel so...alive!"

Buffy and Tara started to walk.

"So that's why you wanna be with me."

Owen followed her. "Oh, absolutely! When can we do something like that again?"

"Something like...?"

"Like...walk downtown at three in the morning a-and pick a fight in a bar. How about tonight?"

They stopped walking.

"Tonight would...be...not a workable thing."

"Tomorrow, then. I-I'm free any night this week."

"I'm not. Please don't take this personally. It's not you; it's me."

Owen got a look on his face. "Right. It's you."

"Really, it is me." Buffy held up her and Tara's hands. "I'm gay."

Owen was shocked.

"Maybe I should've told you sooner. I'm not sure. I just didn't want my mom finding out before I could tell her myself."

Owen frowned.

"Anyway, I was kinda hoping that...maybe you and I could still be..." Buffy paused awkwardly.

Owen was very disappointed. "I - I get it. You just wanna be friends."

"That'd be nice."

"Friends. Yeah. Great." Owen left.

Tara looked at Buffy. "Are you okay?"

Buffy looked at Tara and smiled. "Yeah. I still have you." She kissed Tara on the lips.

Giles came up behind Buffy. Buffy noticed Giles and looked at him. He was at a loss for words. Buffy and Tara walked over and sat on a bench. Giles followed them.

"I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher." Giles sat next to Buffy. "He was one, and his, uh, mother before him, and I was to be next."

"Were you thrilled beyond all measure?" Buffy asked him dryly.

"No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer. Well, uh...my father gave me a very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice."

"Sacrifice, huh?"

"It comes with the job: not just sacrifice of the things that we want to do but also the things that we don't want to do."

Buffy stared at the ground and thought about that. "Keep my life simple, is that it? No friends tagging along on adventures. No going out on dates to satisfy Mom."

Giles didn't say anything.

"You and Tara know the score; you're careful. Two days in my world, and Owen really would get himself killed. Or I'd get him killed." Buffy faced Giles. "Or someone else."

"I - I went to the funeral home of my own free will."

"And I should've been there."

"Buffy-"

"I blew it!" Buffy blurted on the verge of tears.

"I have volumes of lore, of prophecies, of predictions. But I don't have an instruction manual. We feel our way as we go along. And I must say, as a Slayer, you're - you're doing...pretty well."

Buffy smiled. "Well, at least I did stop that prophecy thing from coming true."

"You did! Handily. No more Anointed One. And I would imagine the Master, wherever he is, is having a fairly bad day himself." Giles smiled.

Buffy laughed. Tara joined in.

After a while, though, Buffy grew serious. "I really should tell my mom, though."

Giles sighed. "Buffy, every person that knows you're the Slayer-"

"What?" Buffy asked in confusion. "Oh, no, my mom already knows about that; she doesn't give a shit."

Giles was bewildered.

"No, I meant about me being...unavailable for dates." Buffy looked at Tara. "And I really want you there when I tell her."

Tara smiled at Buffy. "Of course."

Buffy smiled right back at her.