Joker and Tali had definitly been brought in on the task of removing Glint's bomb. Joker was unusually quiet, in that he was being quiet at all, and Tali kept staring at him... though that might be because he'd ultimately agreed to letting Legion onto team transmat. Which nobody was happy about. At all.
"I don't bloody trust this thing at all." Donnely loudly whispered to his other half.
"Shh, it can probably hear you." Daniels elbowed him in the ribs while keeping the fake smile plastered all over her face. Legion stood across from the four of them in the Core Engineering room. Joker was in a manhole with Glint, and the rest of them were trying to integrate the new arrival into the team.
So far since the geth had arrived, this process had involved mostly staring. That, and Tali playing with her boot knife threateningly. At least she's not staring at me anymore. It was probably the only upside to this situation.
"So... Legion." he tried to swallow the nervous lump in his throat. He'd never met a friendly AI before that wasn't EDI; and EDI watched every move of every person on the ship, something he didn't really consider friendly. Legion looked like he'd been pulled out of a scrapyard, scuffed and dented everywhere, with a giant hole that looked like it was in desperate need of repair. Remnants of N7 armor had been grafted onto some of the damaged areas in a way reminiscent of Eliksni scrapworking. "This is... everybody. Everybody, this is Legion."
Was that a dumb introduction? He felt a little dumb.
"We know." Tali huffed, fidgeting with her knife some.
"You are attempting the deconstruction and reconstruction of organic matter between two locations." Legion... asked? It was hard to get a read on the tone of speech. "We were told to assist you."
"Yeah." Crow gestured to the manhole Joker had disappeared into. "I guess we'll let Glint catch you up, he can share a data packet with you once he and Joker are done down there."
Any day now, you two. The tension up here was thick enough that Tali could probably cut it with that knife, and they were the best ones at clearing such tension.
Joker wasn't really the 'ideal friend' type. He didn't like letting other people handle his baggage, and he was shit at handling other people's own. In short, he wasn't very good at the whole 'sensitivity, empathy, listening to other people's problems' sort of thing. Which is what makes the realization that he might be Crow's friend so problematic; the guy had a freighter-ton of baggage, even more than they'd originally thought.
He become-ugh-invested in the guy. He can be a real character when he lets his nerves go, and dare Joker say it, he enjoyed the Awoken's company. The only one he'd previously dared to call a friend was Shepard, and she was a badass marine who kept her feelings to herself and didn't ask him for help sorting through them; she did that with Garrus, her 'battle-boo', and probably Kaiden before that.
The real problem with being Crow's friend was the Vroliks. Never before had he so desperately wanted to punch something repeatedly until both hands were broken. If that something were this 'Spider' guy's face, he would complain about the hospital bill less because it will have been worth it, but still. A normal guy could punch a wall or something; it was the trademark move of a man who needed to beat the daylights out of something but didn't want to hit something breakable. Joker wasn't able to punch anything, because his hands themselves were too breakable.
Thus this violent urge was translated into an itchy trigger finger; he really wished Shepard would hurry up and find something he could blast from orbit. He was just so angry. It brings to mind every time in his life where he saw the worst shit ever happen to the best of people who didn't deserve it. Ash getting blow up by a nuke, Shepard's whole situation, Tali's bullshit trial, all those innocents that the Collectors were taking. And now Crow and Glint, with a bomb in the latter thus making the former a slave.
Who would hurt Glint of all people? He was probably the most surprisingly innocent soul Joker had ever met. Right now the Ghost was helping him rewire some power conduits, keeping a steady light pointed where the pilot needed it. He keeps trying to think of something to say, but doesn't know what. What did you say to someone after finding out about such a thing? Again, he was not the sensitive sort, and there had definitly been an awkwardness in their air all morning while he tried to figure out what to say.
Maybe you made it awkward, idiot. Maybe Crow didn't want pity or platitudes. Joker knew he hated it when people spent time walking on eggshells about his condition, he'd be dammed if he did the same thing to Crow about Spider. Star Trek and burritos, just do what we planned to. Sure, they weren't technically allowed to have food down here, but it wouldn't be the first time team transmat broke that rule; one movie night wouldn't blow up the ship.
Besides; Donnely had talked up his aunt's nacho recipe, and Crow needed to eat something other than potatoes. Yeah, that was a good plan. See if normalcy did anything. Even if Normandy normalcy equated to a geth helping them crack teleportation.
Still, as he worked down here with Glint, certain things refused to leave his mind. Like the fact an explosive device with unknown yield was floating mere inches from his face, or what Shepard had said about Crow's cloak last night. A very drunk Garrus, after a reminder of what they had learned about the cultural significance of a Hunter's cloak earlier, had suggested they make him a new one.
They'd laughed it off when there was beer in their systems, but now that Joker was sober and had thought about it, it didn't seem like half a bad idea. The only problem was that most materials that could make such a thing either didn't exist, or only existed in Crow's ratty armor. That, and a cloak was supposed to 'speak to who he is' or whatever; meaning it wasn't just some article of clothing they could dump on him, it had to be personal.
If he went to Crow with the idea, the Hunter might refuse out of some kind of humility garbage, or insist it wasn't necessary... which meant the task might require conspiracy. And the only one who might have authority to design such a personal thing was Glint, who never left his Lightbearer's side and thus was near impossible to conspire with, unless one was sent down to rewire conduits with him... like Joker had volunteered to.
It was the perfect crime. He just had to push himself into the pool.
"So, Glint." he decided to start. "I've been meaning to ask you something."
"Yes?" the Ghost inquired nervously, obviously expecting more questions about the bomb.
"What are Hunter cloaks made out of?" he decided to get it over with, like ripping off a bandage. If he sat here stewing any longer, he was going to boil over.
"Hunter cloaks?" Glint's shell twisted and expanded with surprise. "Sapphire wire and whatever the Hunter in question prefers, usually. Materials vary, but they all need to be durable and easy to repair by a Ghost. Why?"
"Yesterday, Crow said a cloak is supposed to define a Hunter, right?" the Ghost bobbed up and down, taking the light with him. "Hey, hold that still. So basically his cloak just defines him as a slave to this Spider asshole."
"Language." the sentient energy construct scolded, though with less enthusiasm than before.
"Am I right or not?" the Ghost drooped and nodded again. "Hold that still, I'm gonna zap myself. So what if- and you keep this between us, I mean it- we made him a new one?"
"Oooo!" Glint perked up, though he was quick this time to shine the light back on Joker's work. "But I don't know where we'd get sapphire wire around here, aside from in that old cloak."
"Would it be enough to make a new one?" he asked as he wrapped up his task.
"Maybe. Depends on what you have in mind." Glint's shell twisted as he thought, and it again struck Joker just how expressive a ball of polygonal nodes can be.
"You mean what you have in mind." Joker gave him a light poke. "It's supposed to be personalized right? I've known the guy for like a month."
"Oh, I know exactly what do!" his fellow conspirator is practically vibrating, and if he knows Ghost body language at all, he's trying to keep from bouncing in the air. "Wait, so we're keeping this a secret?"
"Yeah, you know how he gets." the pilot waves his hand. "Why risk him saying he doesn't need one, or give him a chance for any of that 'I don't deserve it' bull-"
"Language." Glint knocks the brim of his hat down in warning. Joker scowls and sets it right. Parental control overlord.
"Just think of it as a surprise." he insists, closing the access panel. "You can keep a secret, can't you?"
"Yup!" now free to move about, he twirls in an excited circle as he responds. "Oooo, I'll send you ideas on a private channel, you see what you can find about materials."
"I was gonna look at quarian stuff first." the pilot shrugged. "That stuff they wrap their suits in is really something, I think Tali only brought one set of backups on board."
"Quarian stuff, that's a good start." the Ghost agrees as Joker begins to shimmy out of the manhole. "Hey, you know the local fashions, right?"
"Local fashions don't typically include cloaks." he rolled his eyes.
"You know what I mean. I'll design it, but if you have any ideas..." the Ghost tipped about in a 'go ahead and do it' sort of way. "One of the rules of being a Hunter is to look good."
"I thought Crow said it was to 'look better than the Warlocks but don't look like you're trying'?" He raised a brow.
"Well, that too, but there's no Warlocks here, so we sort of have to look even better." Glint conceded. "Since we're representing a whole universe, and all."
" Yeah, no pressure. Sounds good, just," he glanced at the entrance they were coming up on, "Keep it quiet for now. I'll talk to Shepard about requisitioning when I have the chance."
"You got it." his companion declared cheerily. "My nodes are sealed!"
We are so going to get found out. Joker thinks as Glint zips out of the manhole in a suspiciously better mood than when he went in.
"Okay, that's that." he brushes his hands off as he pops out of the vent himself. Crow and Gabby each take one of his arms and help him out while Glint flies loop-the-loops towards Legion(whom Tali is still staring at menacingly) in order to, presumably, send it a data packet on what they were doing. "Anybody kill anybody while we were gone?"
"Not yet." Crow shakes his head. In a quieter voice he adds, "But I think Tali has it out for me again for letting a geth on."
"Pfft. She'll get over it; she'll be too busy hating the actual geth." that, and last night's revelations had upset her just as much as it had the rest of them, so even if she was mad at Crow for letting Legion into team transmat, she probably wouldn't do anything about it. It wasn't in her nature to kick someone when they were down, and though Crow definitly wasn't 'down' per say, he certainly looked like he was feeling the strain of coming clean about-
A high-pitched static noise pervaded the whole room, putting an instant stop to everybody's line of thought and originating from the geth that pretty nobody had wanted here.
"What the bloody hell?" Ken shouted over the sound as they all covered their ears. Legion stood stock still, eye flaps frozen instead of doing that thing they did when it was processing data, like it had been a moment ago as Glint interfaced with it. Said Ghost streaked back to Crow, shell 'puffing' out with alarm when the sound first started, then peeked out from behind his shoulder at the geth as it continued.
Tali brought out her omni-tool, and Crow tugged Ken's sleeve.
"Let's get him in a closet or something until it stops!" he proposed to enthusiastic agreement. Legion when 'boneless' when they tried to move it, but the sound continued until they managed to stuff it in a maintenance closet. By the time they were through, Shepard had arrived, and even though the closet provided some relief, it didn't stop the noise entirely.
"Why is Legion in the closet." she demanded. "And what is that racket, I could hear it from Grunt's room."
Crow opened the door obligingly. She immediately bid him to close it again.
"According to my scans, it's like all of it's runtimes just dropped what they were doing and started focusing on one thing." Tali told her. "No idea what, but it has them doing the programming equivalent of running in circles. Whatever that thing is trying to understand, it just can't."
"Oh dear." Glint said. "That may have been me. I had to interface directly with Legion to bring him up to speed, I'm Light and code. He must have gotten stuck trying to process the nature of my existence."
"EDI doesn't have that problem." Gabby pointed out.
"I don't interface with EDI directly." the Ghost looked apologetic, and Crow pat him sympathetically. "I can't believe it! I broke Legion."
Joker is really trying not to lose it as he speaks. "Will it fix itself?"
"Eventually." Tali shrugged as Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Probably."
The static breaks for a moment, and a muffled 'error' is heard through the door. The static starts, sputters, then stops. Cautiously, Shepard raps on the door while Tali preps her omni-tool for possible hostilities.
"Legion? You okay in there?" the Commander inquires.
"No data available." is the response. Joker has to bite his knuckles to keep from laughing.
"Imagine when we tell this one in the mess." he whispers to Crow, who smirks tentatively. Legion opens the door and steps out... only to freeze mid-step, eye flaps twitching almost frantically.
"Error." it says. A snicker escapes Joker, and Shepard sends him a dirty look. Glint floats up to the geth, shell drooping apologetically.
"Legion?" he says. "Sorry the nature of my existence gave you a system overload."
Joker loses it. So does Ken. And Crow, shortly after, followed by Tali.
Gabby just keeps staring at Legion. Legion just keeps standing where it is.
Shepard remains unamused.
Glint: *Exists*
Legion: "WTF."
Ah, N7 day; it's right around the corner. I wish I had a bone of artistic talent in my body(other than for writing), I might post the next chapter early for it though. On a related note, I recently read an author bio that featured guidelines for fanartfor his fics, and it occurred to me that might be a good idea, seeing as I'm writing an increasingly popular series in a niche crossover. This isn't me being narcissistic and assuming I'll have fanart someday, this is me covering my bases if it does happen. I'll be sticking this in my own bio later, so thanks, I Can't Remember The Username Of, for this idea. I think he wrote a really good Horizon Zero Dawn/ Final Fantasy 15 crossover.
If you feel the urge to do fanart for this series: If it is depicting a scene, please try to stick to canon(same for any ships I do, if any come to fruition). Nothing explicit, or disrespectful. Anything offensive or provocative will be ignored. This is the way I roll, and I kindly ask for these guidelines to be respected if anyone would like to make art for my fics. Thank you, and enjoy the read.
Knightwolf1875: Tali's feelingon Crow are complicated; he and Glint sort of blur a line when it comes to their neurological link, and even though Glint is a Sentient Energy Construct, he's still A.I.-esk enough that such a link can be found disturbing by her. She'll come around, though, eventually.
edboy4926: thank you, sir.
Ghost: Glint was traumatized by Spider taking him apart and shoving a bomb in him, the prospect of someone else taking him apart, even to remove said bomb, is stirring up trouble. That's not shyness. And seeking Ghosts spend decades, maybe even a century at a time away from civilization while they look for their partners. Given that we know for a fact that 'Pulled Pork' had a habit of literally scanning every book and cranny he could find, he would have large gaps in knowledge when it comes to events that don't really concern a Ghost as single-mindedly dedicated to his search as that.
Guest: I'm glad my story had a good 're-read factor' for you!
In other news, I went to the Pacific Northwest Reptile and Exotic Animal Show over the weekend and had the time of my life. I stared at lots of awesome animals I can't have, reached the conclusion that Pippin might be abnormally large for his species, held a baby sunfire morph western hognose who was just a sweetheart, and held about a year old Nile crocodile who, I kid you not, dozzed off on my arm. It was like holding a living hot water bottle since she'd been absorbing human heat all day, and she was drunk on it; she was asleep before she got handed to me, and went back to her nap in less than a minute once I had her settled. One of the deadliest apex predators God put on this good earth fell asleep in my arms and I'll never forget it.
It takes me 8 pillow turns, 14 changes of position, and two midnight snacks to fall asleep, but a baby crocodile is able to nod off while being handled in a noisy, giant auditorium with no problems. How?
400 follows, thank you all so much! :)
Fare Thee Well!