{TRIGGER WARNING}
Mentions of drugs, unhealthy coping mechanisms, & suicide.
Chapter 1.5 :
Lament
A shadowy figure stood atop what was once the headquarters of the Korean Hunters Association. The tall man was unmoving. It was hard to tell if he was even breathing. Jin-Woo was no longer in his child-like form. Instead, he looked much like he did before he went back in time. The gap between dimensions didn't really have any mirrors, thus no form for him to remember how to copy. Plus, this was the form he was most accustomed to.
It was quiet for a very long time. "My Liege..." a familiar voice tentatively broke the heavy silence. Jin-Woo gave no indication that he had heard the shadow soldier call his name.
He stared over the edge of the building. Thick silence once again permeated the air. Everything in the world seemed to freeze for a moment. The ex-hunter took a step forward, not taking his eyes off of the road below. There was no reason for him to stay here. This world didn't need him. He was useless. Everyone he once knew would never remember him. The relationships forged through difficult times were gone. There was nothing here he cared about.
The blank expression on his face hadn't broken even once. The world stood still for a moment. Even the usually tumultuous army that lived within his shadow was silent.
A fall from this height would certainly be enough to send a normal person on into the afterlife.
But Sung Jin-Woo was far from a normal person.
He'd survived much worse than a simple fall for tens of stories up in the air.
But maybe... Somehow he could get it to work, right?
Images of a bloody, battered version of himself flashed through his brain. Memories from a time when he was actually able to die.
The feeling of his bones shattering as the shield statue attacked him in the Double Dungeon, and the horror of realizing that his right leg was no longer attached to the rest of his body.
Agonizing pain as the Beat Monarch's claws pierced through his back and out his abdomen- simultaneously puncturing his lung, severing his spine, and piercing his heart.
A sudden, sharp inhale was heard and the man stepped back. The ex-hunter snapped out of whatever trance he'd been in. His face twitched but remained blank. With a heavy sigh, some of the tension seemed to be released from his shoulders.
Jin-Woo moved to sit down. His legs hung over the edge of the building. This time, instead of looking down to the streets, he looked up; Up to the light-polluted sky. It may not be the most beautiful thing, but any sky is better than no sky.
The gap between dimensions was a void. After twenty-seven years he'd almost forgotten what the sky looked like. It never occurred to him how much he'd missed Earth until he was able to return...
Albeit that feeling didn't last long.
[-{-}-]
Jin-Woo had tried finding ways to cope. Things started off well, and the methods were healthy- but it didn't last. Therapy wasn't exactly an option. Although he went when his parents sent him, it didn't help. He couldn't speak about his issues openly while also having them taken seriously. Anything he would say would likely just be taken as the ramblings of a traumatized child.
He didn't have friends to confide in. Exercise didn't provide any type of relief. Meditation just left him alone with his thoughts for too long. Art and creativity weren't his strong suits. Nothing he tried would work.
If anything, Jin-Woo would have loved to go to a dungeon. To let himself go and allow his body run on autopilot... But he'd made that impossible.
『Kandiaru's Blessing』 and 『Longevity』 mitigated any effect drugs or alcohol might have had on him. It lasted maybe a second before the 'abnormal status effects' were cleansed, leaving him right where he was before.
Often the man would wonder why he wasn't happy. He'd achieved what he wanted to. He'd shaved the world. Everyone was alive and safe. He could grow up with his mother AND his father, along with his little sister in a safe world.
That was what he wanted.
So why didn't it feel like how he thought it would?
Why wasn't he satisfied?
Jin-Woo found his gaze dropping from the stars and down to his lap. He stared at his hands.
He wasn't even sad.
But he wanted to be sad.
When was the last time he cried?
Could he cry?
Or did he lose the ability to do that as well?
"Beru." At long last, the Monarch called for his shadow soldier. The ant seemed to perk up at the sound of Jin-Woo's voice. He straightened up, antenna twitching as he responded.
"Yes, my Liege?" the ant soldier chittered as he stepped forward, dropping down to kneel in front of his master. Jin-Woo didn't raise his head to look. His gaze remained fixated on his hands which slowly clenched into fists. The man's lips pressed into a thin line as he looked up to the tops of the skyscrapers.
"Is there a reason for me to stay here?" he asked.
The silence that followed was heavy. Beru wasn't expecting any sort of intense question. Honestly speaking, he was unsure of what to say.
The Shadow Monarch was someone who used to be human. Humans had complex feelings that were an absolute mystery to the ant soldier. Of course, he understood emotions, but only to a point. Whatever the Monarch was feeling right now was much more complicated than what Beru could comprehend.
Clicking, the ant soldier, tried to think of what to say. He'd learned most of his human speech and mannerisms from TV dramas, but his instincts were screaming at him to not use any of the lines he'd heard from there right now.
More chitters could be heard as the Beru tried to formulate an answer. He could tell he needed to say something. The silence was stretching on for too long, adn the tension was becoming painfully thick.
"...My Liege," the shadow soldier finally tried to speak up. He was, however, interrupted by a large hand gently (but firmly) grasping his shoulder. Turning, Beru looked up to the behemoth that had approached behind him: Bellion. The look on his face was somber. He didn't say anything, but Beru could tell what the man was saying to him.
'Let me handle this.'
He wandered over to the shadow monarch, gently kneeling on the rooftop beside him.
"My Lord," he spoke tentatively. "You feel as if you have no place here, do you not?" Although worded as a question, it was obvious Bellion already knew what he said to be the case. Sung Jin-Woo did not respond. The numbness he felt spread as he finally heard his feelings said out loud. "I would not say I know exactly how you feel, but I can sympathize with you to some extent." the soldier gave his Monarch a moment to comprehend before continuing on. "Being born from the World Tree and serving Ashborn was my only reason for living. When he was lost... I knew not what to do. I no longer had a purpose. The other shadows and I that were a part of Ashborns army didn't have any reason to exist besides to wait for the next Monarch." His gaze followed to where Jin-Woo looked at the skyline.
"It took so long that most all of us lost hope; including me. I'd resigned to my fate... But just when I was at the cusp of breaking I felt your presence. Another Monarch. Born anew from the shadows to lead us once more." The voice of the shadow took on an almost whimsical tone as he remembered the feeling of regaining purpose. There was silence yet again. Jin-Woo hadn't moved. Bellion had been attempting to create a spark of hope within the Monarch, but it seemed he was far from achieving his goal. The lightheartedness he himself was feeling slipped away as he turned to look at the stony face of the man he served.
"The road ahead may be long," He gave one last attempt at reigniting the flame. "but I do promise you that you will find meaning in life once again."
Jin-woo's soul remained blackened.
Bellion understood then and there that his Monarch did not have the will to wait- nor did he have the want.
There was a gentle thrum from the army of shadows. An attempt to comfort their leader. An attempt that was met with nothing but coldness.
Bellion looked down to the street of Seoul. He knew what his master had been thinking of when he was staring down to the pavement below. He also knew there was no way Jin-Woo would achieve what he had been thinking of doing had he gone through with it.
The shadow thought long and hard about his next words.
"My Lord..." his voice was low. "If it is what you truly want... There is a way. A way for you to become one with the shadows."
That was the first thing to gain Jin-Woo's attention since Bellion first began his speech.
"Ashborn would occasionally speak of a method to join hands with the dark. Although it is not what I want for you... If it is what you want, I will show you." The soldier looked down at Jin-Woo. For the first time since he sat, Jin-Woo moved. Slowly, he tilted his head over and up to lock eyes with Bellion. The white voids he looked into somehow seemed somber despite being blank. Jin-Woo found his brow furrowing.
Was it what he wanted?
He looked away from Bellion, gritting his teeth and placing his head in his hands as he tried to feel something. Anything. Anything to tell him not to give up.
But there was nothing.
His soul felt like a pit.
He wanted it to hurt.
He wanted to remember what it was like to feel.
And yet nothing came to him.
[-{-}-]
If one doesn't feel emotions, are they really human anymore?
What even was the definition of human?
Whatever it was, it surely wasn't something that had the ability to define Sung Jin-Woo anymore.
If not because of his lack of feelings, it was surely because of the near omnipotence he now possessed.
Yeah, he wasn't human.
He wasn't the son of Il Hwan and Kyung-Hye anymore.
He wasn't the brother of Jin-Ah, and he wasn't the friend of Lee Joo-Hee, Yoo Jin-Ho, or Cha Hae-In.
He wasn't the person who got close to Chairman Go Gun-Hee and Woo Jin-Cheol.
He was the Shadow Monarch. Successor to the Greatest Fragment of Brilliant Light. A being beyond mortality. Beyond humanity. Something that didn't belong in this new world.
Jin-Woo didn't quite know when exactly the change took place. If he had to guess, it was around the time he saw the memories of Ashborn, but back then he still felt human. After returning to the past he felt fine, and after his time in the gap between dimensions, he was actually content for a short period of time. Although by then he was clearly not human. Had the change happened in the gap? He didn't know. It was a mystery to him when things started to go wrong.
He wanted to be happy. For sure he deserved that at least, right? He had saved the world. Everyone he knew and loved was safe now, bound to live a long life, full of happy moments together. He had killed and killed- bathed in the blood of enemy after enemy just to ensure everyone was safe. So why?
Why wasn't he allowed to feel anymore?
Jin-Woo had nothing and no one.
His shadows were there, but they were a part of him. It wasn't the same as having a friend to rely on.
There was no point in him being on this Earth.
[-{-}-]
"What will happen to the shadows if I go?" Jin-Woo moved from the spot where he sat, standing up and placing his hands in his pocket as he removed his gaze from Bellion. The soldier stared at him for a moment before standing as well.
"We will follow you. All of us will meld into the shadows alongside you."
"...And if I were to instead cancel all of the summons? What then."
"We would cease to exist."
The shadows within his were still silent. They were waiting to hear their master's decision.
"And what is it that you would want?" Jin-Woo asked. "All of you." the man addressed his army directly, peering down into his shadow as he removed his hands from his pockets.
"We would like to follow you, my Lord." Bellion spoke, bowing his head. He had served under the shadow monarch for eons. Having already died once, the warrior did not fear death. He knew that if leaving this world was what his master truly wanted, he would follow.
"...All of you?" Jin-Woo's eyes trailed to Beru who had been watching from several paces away. The ant paused, this time not clicked as he thought.
"My Liege, all of us would be honored to follow you, no matter what path you choose to follow." He swept into a deep bow to help try and convey his sincerity.
Jin-Woo could sense some apprehension from many of the soldiers in his army, but he could still feel that they would indeed follow their leader wherever he may choose. The gentle thrums and noises that rippled across the army told the Monarch that they would always happily be one with him, and much as he was one with them.
Before long the noises from the army were quelled, and they once again settled down. Jin-Woo stared at the floor with unfocused eyes that emanate a soft, purple glow. He took a deep breath before looking to the stars.
"Then... Bellion. Show me the way to a different kind of eternity."
"Very well, My Lord."
[-{-}-]
And so the reign of the second Shadow Monarch came to a bitter end. It wasn't one filled with honor and glory as it should have, but instead sorrow and unfulfillment.
Jin-Woo stared across the vast plane of space within him, soaking in one final look at his army that had helped him for the past three decades. He couldn't help but wonder: was there an afterlife for him? Any of them?
Well.
He'd find out soon enough.
"Bellion..." Jin-Woo spoke in nearly a whisper as he turned his back on his people for the last time. "I'm ready."
"Very well."
The realm of shadows vanished, and Jin-Woo was back on the roof.
Jin-Woo had thought of finding someplace special to him to be his final resting spot, but he could think of nowhere. His home didn't feel like home, and nowhere else held any special meaning. The roof of the old Hunters Association would have to do.
His final resting place.
His grave.
He lowered himself to the ground, first sitting, and then lying. Folding his hands over his abdomen, he stared up to the stars of his home for the final time as Bellion's hand came to rest over his eyes.
"We are with you, My Lord. Always. In life, and in death." his voice held an undistinguishable tone. Sympathy? Understanding? Maybe pity?
"Rest now, we are with you." It was Beru.
Jin-Woo could feel it.
The shadows creeping up along his body, seeping up from the cement and over his skin and clothes.
It was cold...
But it wasn't lonely.
At last he felt some semblance of peace. There was no regret as the shadows enveloped his form.
Silence filled the night and Kyung-Hye cried.
As did Il-Hwan and Jin-Ah.
Go Gun-Hee looked up from his desk, a sudden feeling of sadness washing over him.
A young Woo Jin-Chul found his brow furrowing, feeling as if he had forgotten something very, very important.
Lee Joo-Hee found herself inexplicably sobbing in her bed, unsure of the cause.
Yoo Jin-Ho awoke the next morning feeling like he'd lost a part of himself.
Cha Hae-In looked up from the books she was studying, suddenly overcome with a feeling of longing.
Song Chi-Yul felt pangs of guild suddenly hit him for some reason.
Norma Selner stared out her window, feeling that the world had just lost a hero.
The story of the Shadow Monarch finally came to a close on a quiet night in Seoul.
Not a trace remained of the man who saved everyone.
It was over.
A/N:
At long last Chapter 2 is here! After nearly a year I've finally done it. Sorry it took so long ;') I both graduated high school and was working on college and applying for jobs so I've had a hell of a time.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! My writing style has probably changed in the last year, so I apologize if it seems different than the first part... I'm tryin' my best though, so please don't hate me lmao-
But moving on, I'll HOPEFULLY talk to you guys again soon! Until next time, cya!
(Sorry for any typos)