Chapter 2
Carina's grip on her phone loosened, and it dropped to the floor with a bang. She had gone five years believing that the love of her life was dead, that she would only ever exist in her memory. Five years believing that the child that she and that great love had worked so hard to bring into the world had only lived to be six. It had almost destroyed her, and now the inept 25-year-old on her television screen was telling her that her wife and her youngest were in fact alive. The brunette soon followed in the footsteps of her phone, sinking to her knees with a garbled cry.
There was a knock on the door, but Carina was too stunned to react. She was too stunned to do anything besides sit there on the floor.
"I'm going to go out on a limb here and infer that you saw the news."
Jo's voice startled her. She had expected whoever it was to leave when they didn't receive a response, but Jo was never the one to quit. Not even when she had been working double time as a surgical attending while simultaneously completing an OBGYN residency. Carina had never intended to become close with her student, but Aria and Luna had hit it off in daycare and Carina had soon found herself spending parts of her off time with Jo as well as the copious hours they spent together on shift. Maybe it was that Jo was far less of a prude than most Americans, or maybe it was because Andrea had once landed in the hospital in her honor, but Carina had found that she enjoyed being around the younger doctor. Plus, it hadn't hurt to hear all the gossip about Link firsthand, which had been a hot topic at Grey Sloan for much of the early twenties.
It had been Jo's doorway that Carina had been standing in when she'd told Aria about the plane disappearing. It was the first time that she had said it out loud, and when she'd finally allowed herself to cry, once Aria was tucked safely in her arms and unable to see, Jo had appeared in the foyer. She'd given Carina a sad smile and declared that she was in no state to drive and that they should both stay the night. On the worst night of her life, Jo had prepared dinner for her and her daughter, and changed the sheets in the guest room to ensure that they would be clean and comfortable. Physically comfortable, at least. On the worst night of her life, Jo had supported her unconditionally without asking for anything in return. And in the wake of Maya's disappearance, she hadn't had anyone else left who would do that. And Jo was the only reason that in the past five years without her wife, that she'd had anyone at all. Anyone that she didn't have to parent. She could be Aria's sole support system, but Aria could not be hers. Though she wasn't. Aria had a village of friends, but mainly there was Luna.
Luna got it. She understood what it felt like to lose a parent. She may have been way too young to remember her biological mother, and she'd had Jo, who had been close to perfect, but there was still an ache that lived in Luna's chest because her mother had died before she'd even gotten a chance to hold her.
"Carina, what do you need right now? How can I help?" Jo tried again. She had taken a seat beside the Italian on the floor.
"I-uh-mio dio."
"Do you want me to drive you to the airport? Or maybe you want to call Aria?"
"Perche nessuno mi ha chiamato?"
"Che cosa?" Jo had picked up on some Italian over the years but not enough to decipher what Carina had said on her own.
"Why has no one called me?" It was barely a mumble, and if Jo hadn't been sitting so close to her, she wouldn't have heard it at all.
As if on cue, Carina's phone began to buzz, loud against the hardwood. When Carina made no moves to pick it up herself, Jo gestured to it with her elbow. Carina nodded.
"Hello."
"Hi. I am looking for a Dr. Carina DeLuca."
"Yes, hi. I am Dr. Wilson, one of Carina's attendings. She is unable to come to the phone right now, but I can take a message."
"I believe that this is a matter that Dr. DeLuca may prefer to discuss firsthand."
"Yes, however, Dr. DeLuca did see the news already, which is why she was unable to take this call. I am assuming that you are calling to inform her of what the media has already exposed." Jo held her breath, hoping more than anything that in a split second she would be able to tell her friend that her wife and daughter were genuinely alive.
"Ah. Those reporters. Finicky little bastards. That is correct, though. I am calling to inform Dr. DeLuca that her wife, Maya Bishop, and their daughter, Isabella DeLuca-Bishop are here in DC, and they are alive. I have spoken to both of them." Jo had to refrain from letting out a whoop of joy. She still had important information to obtain.
"Do you know how soon it would be possible for them to leave DC?"
"I do not. But I do know that as of tomorrow morning, they will be opening up the sight to visitors. Only those closest to the passengers, though."
"Alright, great. Thank you so much. I hope you have a good day."
"You too, Dr. Wilson. Tell Dr. DeLuca that her wife says hi, will ya?"
"Will do."
When Jo put down the phone, Carina looked up at her, years of pain and suffering camped in her eyes. The gaze was so intense that Jo almost had to look away. Although if she was looking at someone who had the whole fate of her potential happiness in their hands, she probably would have given them a similar look. Because if Maya and Isa hadn't been alive: if the reporter had gotten false information, or if the plane was back and Carina's girls weren't on it, Carina would have had to grieve them all over again. It made sense, why she hadn't wanted to take the call herself. Better to hear it from your closest friend than a complete stranger.
"Carina, they're alive. Whoever I just spoke to wanted me to tell you that your wife says hi."
Carina's voice caught in her throat, and she choked on a sob.
"They're alive?"
"Yes, Carina. Maya and Isa are alive. They're alive."
"They're alive," Carina repeated. Jo wasn't sure if she'd ever experienced someone show the amount of conflicting emotions that Carina was in the process of showing. She was crying, and not the silent tears that sometimes arose in moments of joy. Carina was full blown heaving, snot running down her nose, but at the same time she was laughing. And smiling. And there was a glimmer in her eye that wasn't from the crying. It was a glimmer that Jo hadn't seen in five years. Not since Carina had lost two of the three people she could not bear to lose.
Suddenly, she yanked her phone from Jo's hands with a gasp. Jo couldn't hold it against her. After a few seconds of aggressively tapping at the keyboard, Carina sighed in exasperation.
"Merda. I need to tell Aria, but my texts aren't going through. Her phone is off. Stupida fire academy and it's stupide rules."
"I see now that you know that Maya is alive, you have ended your truce with firefighting."
"Jo, I have nothing against firefighting. I do not enjoy being cut off from my daughter when her mother and sister have returned from the dead at the same time that our first apartment burned down."
"What?"
"The universe is playing all sorts of games, and I do not know how to feel because my whole life has taught me that miracles are for other people, and now my wife and figlia who I attended a funeral for five years ago are in the nation's capital probably being questioned by the CIA and the FBI simultaneously. And I found out about this from the news. THE NEWS. And What I also saw on the news was my wife's former teammates putting out an apartment fire, and it was our apartment."
"Wait, for real?"
"Si, Jo. Why would I make that up?" Carina could not contain her laughter. It just kept going. It was infectious, and it wasn't long before she and Jo were sitting on the floor of her office laughing so hard that even Jo, who had not just experienced the greatest but also most confusing moment of her life, had snot running down her lip.
Which was how Chief Grey found them, half an hour later. Still on the floor. Still laughing.
"Do I need to be worried?" she asked. "Usually when people are showing this much emotion, albeit good or bad, there is a deeper reason."
Meredith was dark and she was not afraid of those around her finding out, and it was one of Carina's favorite things about her. She imagined that it was part of what had drawn Andrea to her as well.
"Chief, I do not know if you have seen the news, or I guess gone on any form of social media, but Flight 828 landed in Washington DC two and half hours ago." Saying it out loud made it hit Carina even harder than it already had. All that she had to do was get through the flight from Washington to Washington, and then she could hold her wife and daughter in her arms. Something she never thought she'd get to do again.
"That is wonderful, Carina. Absolutely wonderful," Meredith paused, looking around the room. "You know I very vividly remember having this conversation with an ex of mine, in the parking lot. We had both lost our person and promised each other that if the other ever got another chance, we wouldn't dream of standing in the way. When Meghan Hunt was rescued from captivity, I asked Nathan if he was okay to drive and then sent him on his way. So, I ask, are you okay to get to DC on your own?"
"Si. Grazie, Meredith."
"Well in that case, get out of here. Go see your wife and child, DeLuca."
"Grazie."
Carina grabbed onto Jo's hand as they proceeded into the hallway. Jo turned and gave her a smile. She was no stranger to conflicting feelings, and hadn't been in quite some time, but Carina found herself once again incapable of deciphering her thoughts. The sheer possibility of seeing her wife again, of telling Maya she loved her, of being hugged by her, was almost too much. For so long she had held herself together, never quite allowing herself to feel the full extent of her loss. Her daughter had needed her more. Carina knew that she wouldn't make it through a reunion with Maya without falling apart. Focusing on Aria's grief had not only allowed for her daughter to create a healthy relationship with her emotions, but it had also broken-down Carina's walls that had been so carefully built up by her own unconventional experiences with grief.
"Wilson."
They had reached the elevator, and in all of the excitement, Carina had forgotten to address the fact that she was unable to reach her daughter. She was supposed to be booking a last-minute red eye to the Nation's capital, not harassing her wife's former bosses for access to the classified location where the first-year fire recruits were undergoing boot camp. Carina had enough experience with the department to know that a simple request that they inform Aria of the news was likely to be marked as anything but urgent.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Jo replied, in a tone that was nothing but urgent.
"It's Aria. My texts still aren't going through. I cannot be in two places at once. How can I get on a plane while my daughter does not even know that her mom and sister are alive?"
"Hey, breathe. Listen to me, okay? Go to the airport, because if you don't go right now, you won't make it on a flight until the morning. I'll go to the department headquarters. I'll make sure that Aria finds out."
"Wilson, I can't ask you to do that-"
"Carina, you aren't asking. I'm telling. Let me do this. I know damn well if this were Luna, you would already be on your way."
Carina sighed and smiled. She sometimes forgot that she had a friend. A friendship that held no baggage and wasn't separated by an ocean. She sometimes had to remind herself that Jo was more than the talented OB that she got to work side by side with. She was family.
"Jo, they won't listen to you. I doubt they'd even listen to me."
"So, I'll make them listen. Carina, you need to go."
"I know who they will listen to." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. She hadn't thought about the contents of the inside zipper in a long time. In fact, she'd tried to forget. Not only did it hold a picture of Maya and Isabella the day she'd been born, but also a business card. Andy had given it to Carina at the funeral. She'd tried to tell Carina that she was sorry, and when Carina had shut her down, she'd placed the card on the coffee table.
"They will listen to the shining star of the Seattle Fire Department. They'll listen to Captain Herrera. She once told the press that she would do anything to make up for her past mistakes. I choose to have faith that if Maya and Isa can come back to us, then maybe Andy's words were more than a publicity stunt. Call her. They'll listen to her."
Jo took the card from Carina's outstretched hand with a nod.
"Okay. I will make sure that Aria gets the news. I promise. Go to the airport."
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Carina took one step inside, then stopped to look behind her. Jo gave her a reassuring smile and reached for her phone. She had every intention of storming the fire department with its shining star in tow, and if Carina needed a little reassurance before she flew halfway across the country, then Jo was happy to give it to her. Balancing her purse in one hand, and her clothes in the other—Carina was hoping to slip into an airport bathroom to change, because although vanity was the last thing on her mind, if she was going to see her wife again after all this time, it would be nice if it weren't in scrubs—she gave Jo one more glance, then hit the button.
"Attention all passengers on Flight 743 to Seattle, unfortunately this flight is currently overbooked. We are looking for any passengers who may be willing to switch to a later flight in exchange for a complimentary round-trip voucher. If this is you, please come to the front of the gate to receive your voucher and updated boarding pass."
Carina carefully turned the page of the novel that she had picked up at the bodega earlier that morning. The book did not belong on a best sellers list, but it was enough to keep her occupied while they waited to board. She did not always enjoy arriving at the airport 3 hours in advanced, but she loved her wife, and she knew that Maya's intensity came from a place of care. If Maya was anxious, then she was anxious, which only made it harder to balance a 6-year-old and a preteen. If checking off a box on a list was what it took to keep her whole family calm, then Carina was happy to pass the time with a few hundred pages of enticing mediocrity. She yawned, then turned to look at her wife. Maya's nose was buried in the curly mess of Isabella's hair, who was napping in her lap. Carina could see Maya's lips moving and could already tell that the blonde was singing. It was one of the only ways to keep Isabella grounded when she was surrounded by unfamiliar sounds.
It didn't take long for Maya to sense that she was being watched.
"What?" she asked.
Carina let out a breathy chuckle.
"Nothing, bambina, I am just admiring how the same woman who is now singing to her daughter in a crowded Sicilian airport used to worry that she would not make a good mother." Carina reached out and tucked her thumb under Maya's chin so that she could look her in the eye. "I am so grateful for you and the mother that you are, and this family that we have created together."
Maya was unable to contain her smile.
"I feel the same way about you, my love." Her smile grew even bigger as Carina kissed her. A warmth had formed in Maya's chest when a stranger sat down next to her in a bar and showed her that she didn't need to drink alone, and it only got hotter each time Maya was reminded that she never had to drink alone again.
"Mooom, we've been here so long. Why aren't we boarding yet?" It was more of a whine than a question, but it was a tone that both women had become accustomed to since their oldest had begun puberty. Maya, although hurt by her daughter's growing attitude, was determined not to take it personally.
"I'll go see what's taking so long," she said, more to Carina than to Aria, "It will be good to stretch my legs, and a walk won't hurt our chances to keep Isa asleep."
"If you are sure, Maya."
"I am happy to."
As Maya rose from her seat, she was careful not to jostle Isa too much. Naps had become far and few between since she had started kindergarten, given that her schedule now demanded that she be awake for much of the day. Normally it wouldn't have been a big deal, but Isabella did not like flying, and the young girl was already feeling the residual crankiness of lingering jet lag. Yet, throughout Isa's infancy, subtle motion, such as a leisurely walk, had done wonders for keeping her asleep, so Maya took her along.
"Hi, my name is Maya Bishop. I do not mean to bother you, but my wife has work, and we were hoping to get an ETA on when we may start boarding."
"Yes, hi, I am so sorry about the delay. Unfortunately, the flight is still overbooked by two seats. We're offering round-trip vouchers to any passenger willing to take a later flight, but I am afraid that for the time being we are unable to begin the boarding process."
"You need two more passengers to give up their seats?"
"To take a later flight, yes."
Maya looked down at her sleeping daughter, then over at her wife, who had moved into the seat she had vacated. Maya sighed. She knew that she should discuss this with her wife, but Aria was itching to get home, to be with her friends, and Carina was scheduled to work a double and needed a full night's sleep. Carina would be upset with her, because it meant splitting up, and being the wife of a firefighter, she was hardly ever a fan of splitting up. However, Maya could handle some push back from her wife, and an afternoon alone in a foreign country with their six-year-old, if it meant that Carina and Aria could get home a little faster.
"You'll start boarding as soon as the seats are vacated?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Okay. My daughter and I will give up our seats. Maya Bishop and Isabella DeLuca-Bishop."
"Ma'am, are you sure?"
"Yes. As long as my wife and oldest are able to get out of here."
"Of course. I will need to see some ID, Mrs. Bishop." Maya cringed. She hated Mrs. She didn't want to be a Mrs., and if she was going to be a Mrs., she'd prefer to be a Mrs. DeLuca-Bishop, but she did not have the time, nor the energy to debate her title. Instead, she reached for her driver's license, and prayed that Carina would not be too upset with her.
"You did what?! Si, make us come to the airport half a day early and then give away our tickets! Maya, hai perso la testa?!"
"Carina, you are going to wake up Isa."
"Maya! You gave up our tickets. Isabella is not going to stay asleep all day. She will be awake by 5 pm, and if she is not I will even more mad, because then you will have gone and destroyed her sleep schedule on top of trapping her at the airport!"
"Wait, Mom, you gave up our tickets?"
"No, bella, I did not. I did not give up your tickets. I exchanged my ticket and your sister's ticket for a later flight so that you and Mama could get out of here sooner," Maya explained, trying to calm her daughter's anger, which was threatening to mirror that of her mothers'. She turned to try again with Carina, but the look on her wife's face was enough to stop her in her tracks.
"I do not know what makes you think that Aria and I will be getting on a plane without you and Isa. This family does not split up. That is not how we do things, Maya, and you know it." There was more than anger in Carina's words. There was fear.
Maya handed Isa to Aria before kneeling in front of her wife. She placed a hand on each of Carina's knees.
"Carina, I know this is scary. I know that the thought of splitting up triggers every fight or flight response in your body. It does for me too. And I should have talked to you before agreeing, but no one else was coming forward. This was the only way to ensure that you got back in time for Aria to make it to Luna's, for you to rest fully before your shift. I am not taking our daughter into a burning building. We will be here the whole time. We will be safe. I promise," she said. "Plus these vouchers will cover half of our trip next year."
Reaching up, she took Carina's hand, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. Carina looked down at her with a sad smile.
"I am sorry for yelling. You are right. It just makes me anxious."
"I know. I hate being away from you, from both of you. I can only imagine how you must feel about the thought of being away from the little one. But we'll be home tomorrow night, only a few hours after you."
Carina nodded.
"I love you."
"I love you."
The women were once again ripped from their bubble. This time not by their brooding daughter, but by a preflight announcement that was impossible to ignore.
"Continuing with our boarding process, we would now like to welcome passengers in group C to begin boarding. Any passengers in groups A through C may now board."
"That's us," Carina said. She was upset, but grateful to finally begin their journey home, even if that meant leaving Maya and Isabella behind.
"Come here. All of you," Maya replied with outstretched arms. Carina was quick to burrow herself into them, only budging to allow room for her daughters. Maya held them tight, memorizing the feeling to keep her going until she would be able to do it all over again a day later. Not all that unlike when she went to work. Maya had created a family with her favorite person—together they had created two more of her favorite people, and even if when they were separated, she would always hold them close.
"As much as I am enjoying this, we should go. If we have to leave Mom and Isa behind in order to get out on time, then the least we can do is not hold ourselves up."
"Mama's right. I love you both, but we will all survive without each other for a day."
"That is what I have been trying to tell you both. Just because I want to hang out at Luna's doesn't mean I love you, or Mama, or Isa any less."
"Piccolina, your mom and I know that. We know that you love us. We are happy that you have a friend as special as Luna."
"We will talk about it more when I get home, kiddo, but you and Mama have to go."
With a goodbye kiss, and a whispered, "ti amo," Carina and Aria got in line to board. Maya watched as they disappeared down the jetway with sadness, but also relief. They would make it home with time to spare, and she and Isa would be right behind them. Maya looked down at her daughter with a smile. She watched as Isa's eyes fluttered open, immediately searching for familiarity, and then calming when they landed on Maya. It was going to be difficult to explain her wife's sudden absence to the young girl, but it was nothing that she couldn't handle. She had made her bed, and she had to lie in it.
The guard that was escorting Carina was still talking, about what Carina was unsure. She had stopped listening as soon as they'd passed the final security door. Henry might have been eager to discuss the implications of 828's return, but Carina only cared about one thing, and that was seeing her wife and daughter. 5 years before, she had left half of her family behind in an airport in Sicily, and she hadn't seen them since. Finally, she was being given that opportunity, and not even Henry's insensitive banter was going to stand in her way. However, nothing had prepared her for the reality of seeing the blonde ponytail that she knew all too well. Carina watched as her wife, who not even a day before had been 'dead,' stopped at a water cooler, removed a paper cup from the pocket of her sweatshirt and began to fill it. Suddenly, Carina's feet were glued to floor, and she couldn't move an inch.
"Dr. DeLuca-" Henry continued on the tangent that he had been so animatedly engrossed in for the better part of their walk through the pentagon, but Carina did not care. Upon hearing Henry's words, Maya had turned to look in their direction. It had taken her less than a second to zero in on Carina, and her reaction to seeing her wife was almost identical to the Italian's. She froze, and the cup spilled before fluttering to the ground.
As Henry searched for paper towels, Carina regained feeling in her legs. She lurched forward, almost at a sprint, coming to a halt right in front of Maya. Lifting her hand to Maya's face, she brushed the tip of her thumb across her cheek, as if to ensure that she was real, that she was actually standing in front of her. Before Carina had a chance to finish her inspection, Maya had her in a bear hug. Carina grabbed ahold of Maya's shirt, twisting the cotton between her fingers in an attempt to pull Maya even closer. She fought to stop the sobs that were sitting on her chest, that were making it impossible to breath, but her attempts were short lived.
"Carina."
Maya had said her name. She had said her name in the way that only Maya said her name. Carina gasped. Now she was crying and couldn't stop, her face buried in Maya's shoulder. With each gut-wrenching sob, Carina felt Maya's lips on her scalp. Maya was crying too. Carina could feel her shaking. She could sense that wherever Maya had been for half a decade, that she had longed for this moment every day just as Carina had. And when Maya attempted to pull away, to speak, Carina maintained her grip, unwilling to let go just yet. If Maya wanted to say something, she could say it while she held her, because Carina wasn't sure she would ever be ready to let her go. Not again.
"Carina," Maya tried again.
"No. Maya, no. You can say whatever you need to say, but I am not letting go."
Maya sighed and pressed another kiss into Carina's hair.
"I am not going anywhere. I will still be here if you let go."
Carina scoffed.
"The last time I let you go, you died."
"I know. I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through, but I do know that the chance to see you again kept me going every day, and I just want to see you."
As much as Carina hated the thought of not being surrounded by Maya on all sides, she understood her wife's request. She carefully disentangled herself from the blonde, shifting so that they stood apart with their hands interlocked between them. The tears resumed after she took Maya in. She was skinny, skinner than Carina had ever seen her. Her hands were calloused and her face red and peeling, likely from prolonged sun exposure. She didn't look seriously injured. There were a few healed bruises on her thigh, but Maya had endured worse on a routine call. Carina timidly reached towards the worst of the bruises, hesitating before making contact, and Maya gave her a reassuring smile.
"You can touch it. It doesn't hurt."
Another sob caught in Carina's throat, and she was helpless to stop it. Unable to look Maya in the eye, for fear of losing herself in her grief, she kissed her fingers before pressing them against the bruise.
"What happened?" she asked. Carina wasn't entirely sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she knew that she needed to.
"I promise I will tell you everything, but right now I think there is somebody else that you want to see. "
Carina held her breath. When she and Aria had said their goodbyes and boarded the plane in Sicily, Isabella had been six years old. Now she was eleven. Carina had to prepare herself for her daughter to look drastically different from the memory that she had clung to for so long.
So, as Maya led her back to their room, to the cot where their daughter lay sleeping, Carina prepared for her whole perception of their daughter to change. Maya drew back the curtain and sat beside the young girl. While the blonde attempted to wake Isabella from her slumber, Carina gave her daughter the same basic examination that she had given her wife. Isabella was also skinny, skinnier than Carina would have liked, and she was also suffering from the aftereffects of sun exposure, but she looked healthy. She seemed to have inherited the DeLuca growth spurts, appearing taller than Aria had at her age. Her hair was shorter than it had been, probably to keep her cool. There was scar hidden beneath Isa's eyebrow, but this was not new to Carina, as she had been the one to stitch it up.
Maya was successful in her efforts to wake up the girl, and Carina watched with guarded anticipation as Isa's eyes fluttered open, immediately searching for familiarity, and then calming when they landed on Maya. This reaction was also not new to Carina, but the calmness soon clouded, and it took Carina a moment to realize that the new emotion in her daughter's eyes was that of recognition.
"Mama?" Isa said, her voice thick with sleep, the eyes that had only a second ago been filled with calm filling with tears. Carina's first instinct was to join her wife beside the younger blonde on the bed, but she quickly realized that her proximity was likely overwhelming for the girl to whom she had only existed as a memory for almost half her life. Instead, she moved so that she was standing directly next to her wife. Close, but not too close.
"Ciao, piccolina."
Isa sat up, reaching for her, and Carina let out a breath. She was grateful that Isa had made the first move, because it was torture to hold herself back. Carina settled on the cot and leaned against the headboard. Once she was still, Isa climbed into her lap and buried herself in her arms.
"I missed you, Mama." It was muffled against her chest, but Carina heard it loud and clear. As quickly as her cries had disappeared, they started up again, silent but deadly.
"Mama missed you so much."
There was barely enough room on the cot for one person to lay, let alone three, but Maya was content to stay seated. She was content to wipe the tears from her wife's face, to watch her reconnect with their daughter, and to exist within the same physical space as her. Because it had been far too long since she'd been granted the opportunity to just be with her wife.
AN: I think the next chapter will focus on Jo and Andy's attempts to give Aria the news, but the second half of the DeLuca-Bishop reunion will happen soon.