Chapter 31 - Curry-Flavored Asari Kisses

Citadel Newsnet – In a shocking turn of events, Citadel Security now believes that 6th Dimension Vids set designer Telak Gaffno was murdered by other studio employees when the volus stumbled upon them attempting to steal equipment. Gaffno's death was then staged by the thief to make it look like he was killed by an accidental exosuit malfunction. C-Sec further believes that one would-be thief was themselves accidentally killed when they attempted to activate a stolen device, a mass effect generator, unaware that it had been significantly modified and the dangers it now posed. The device exploded, killing its operator.

A C-Sec source with knowledge of the case said the thieves had apparently infiltrated the production with the intention of pilfering devices, obtaining trusted positions that allowed them access to expensive equipment. The remaining suspects, whom C-Sec has declined to identify citing the ongoing investigation, are believed to have fled the Citadel and gone to the Terminus Systems, their home.

Blasto series producer Mlax Ventkad told reporters today, "Suspiciously Vague. We are shocked and saddened by the recent events and are cooperating fully with C-Sec's investigation. The Blasto production remains ongoing and we hope to wrap up shooting soon. We have no further comment at this time."

Citadel Newsnet has learned that one of the suspects may have worked as the studio's special effects director. There was considerable concern on the set that production might stall without that person around to help out with the last remaining battle scenes. However, the vid's military advisor, the Special Task's Group's Major Kirrahe, has volunteered to substitute for the remainder of the shoot. "Kirrahe's been an asset," said Blasto series director Bik Orbal. "We wouldn't be able to finish the vid without him." - Emily Wong reporting

"I'm still not clear on why T'Loak not only didn't kill Jeddick, but actually helped to facilitate his escape from the Citadel," Solik Vass told Major Kirrahe as he handed him a measuring device. "It seems excessively generous on her part."

"I made the same point at the time. Her Majesty disagreed," Kirrahe replied as he carefully poured the ingredients for the special effects charges for an upcoming battle scene. "And it was ultimately her call," he explained, adding, "Hand me one of those blue vials, if you please. Slowly."

"Wasn't she afraid of looking soft for sparing his life?" Vass inquired.

Kirrahe shrugged as he poured the mixture into a special container. "She deemed it more important that she have somebody spreading the word to other Terminus Systems pirates that she would soon return to Omega and kick Cerberus out. She wanted them to know that she was watching and keeping track and that working with Cerberus would come with a high price," the senior STG agent explained. "She also believed that by letting Jeddick go she was demonstrating that she held no particular animus against humans, contrary to what many might assume due to her conflict with Cerberus."

"She's getting ahead of herself, isn't she?" Vass asked. "You would think that stuff like that could wait until after she regained control of Omega."

Kirrahe placed the seal on the top of an explosive charge and carefully laid alongside others in a special container. "No, this is actually part of her plan: prevent Cerberus from striking any alliances with the humans in the Terminus Systems. Prevent the Illusive Man from being able to cut trade deals with them. Starve Cerberus of manpower and resources," the major explained as he gingerly screwed the top on the charge. "You see, most of that region's non-aligned human groups are wary of Cerberus due to its history of bizarre, unethical experiments. T'Loak would prefer that those groups rally to her or, at very least, stay out of the conflict."

"Okay, but can she really trust this Jeddick fellow? He is a cold-blooded killer, after all," Vass noted.

"You didn't see both the defeated look on his face when his plan fell apart or the surprise when he realized that T'Loak wasn't going to kill him after all," Kirrahe remarked. "I wouldn't go so far as to say he was miraculously converted, but it did shake him up. I do think it's likely he'll be telling his story to quite a few people when he gets home."

"And what of al-Jilani?" Vass inquired.

"I watched as she vowed to stick by the agreement she had earlier made with T'Loak: Her silence in exchange for amnesty from Her Majesty," Kirrahe revealed. "T'Loak suddenly arriving at the human's moment of need and saving her and her lover's lives pretty much sealed the deal." Kirrahe slowly picked up the charge. "Okay, lad, I need you take this to director Bik Orbal. He'll know what to do with it."

Vass gingerly took the device in his hands. "How volatile is it?"

"Well, I wouldn't drop it," Kirrahe warned. "Or expose it to any heat while carrying it. Or cough too loudly. Otherwise it should be fine. Then hurry back. We've got to get to work on the really big charges."

"I'm beginning to understand why the studio has had such a hard time finding a permanent replacement for this job," Vass said as he slowly stuck his head through the workshop's door and looked both ways.

Illium Entertainment News Update - Actress Adria S'Voz announced that she is planning a sequel to her cross-species hit, "Vaenia" that will reunite her with her human co-star. "Josephine and I have been collaborating on the script and we're excited to get cameras rolling again," she told our reporter, adding that she planned to make the vid her directorial debut. "Believe it or not, we were a bit inhibited in the original with so many people on the set. This time around, I want to be able to take charge and really capture the spontaneity of the moment."

"Joy tinged with exhaustion. Welcome to the wrap party for Blasto: The Battle for the Citadel," announced producer Mlax Ventkad, microphone in hand. "It has been a long. hard road to get here. But we got it done and we can be rightly proud of the vid we have made. Never has there been a larger, more elaborate production filmed on the Citadel. Boastfully. Never before has a vid been able to shoot action scenes in the Council Chambers itself. This production will truly be a landmark."

The 200-odd people inside the 6th Dimension Vids set being used for the party cheered and applauded. The exception was krogan actor Jorgal Dreed, who instead shouted, "Korbal!" The massive elcor producer nodded to the partiers and continued, "Mostly sincere. I want to thank all of you, cast and crew alike, for pulling together and putting in the long hours to make this happen. 6th Dimension Vids is more than a vid company. It is a family. Know that you will always have a place at this studio. Brief parenthetical. My acknowledgment of the hours you worked does not entitle you to overtime pay under 6th Dimension Vids' employment contracts."

The elcor pointed to a human seated nearby. "Obsequiously. I would like to thank our executive producer, Councilor Donnel Udina, in particular for arranging the permits necessary to film on the Citadel. Without him, this vid would not have been possible. Take a bow. Truly, you are a credit to your species." Udina stood up and waved to the other partiers while casting a a sideways glance at the producer. Ventkad nodded and continued, "Suspiciously convenient. Unfortunately, a scheduling conflict meant that Blasto could not be here for the party or else I would invite him to speak now." The elcor instead handed the device to director Bik Orbal. "Hunger-induced impatience. Now I'll let our director say a few words. Bik, the microphone is yours." Ventkad turned and began moving in the direction of the buffet table.

"I'll echo what our producer just said and add that I am confident that once Olo finishes piecing this vid together it will top all of the previous Blasto entries," the slender drell predicted, a cocktail in his hand. He became sentimental as he continued. "Filming in the Council Chambers itself! Wow... Quite a long ways for a kid from Kahje who got his break in the industry by making adverts for Eterna-Gel!"

Orbal took a sip of his cocktail and continued, "Finishing this vid is bittersweet, however. This will be the last Blasto entry for several members of our studio family. Some, like our wonderful makeup artist Suzra'Bonah and our special effects director Ohsheh Nspaktah, have opted to move on. I think I can say on behalf of all of us at the studio that we wish them nothing but success and hope they will return someday." A rousing round of applause followed his remarks.

The drell's tone became solemn. "Others tragically passed on. I'd like for us all to observe a moment of silence for Telak Gaffno, whose loss we are still recovering from, and for the six brave vorcha stunt performers who tested out the gravity warping devices that allowed us to film scenes near the top of the Council Chambers Tower." Orbal bowed his head and most of the partiers did the same. The murmuring in the room faded to near-silence for a few seconds. The drell looked back up and continued, "We can at least take pride that The Battle for the Citadel has had the fewest on-set accidents and work-related deaths of any 6th Dimension Vids production. They said we couldn't improve our record and we proved the nay-sayers wrong!" he told the crowd. Another, more muted, round of applause followed.

"Hey, Linia, do an old krogan a favor?" Jorgal Dreed asked the actress. He was loitering near one of the wrap party's open bars. Hovering near him were a pair of starstruck asari. "My maidens would love to have a picture of them, their old man and Lt. Kada A'Lenko. Whadaya say?"

Linia blushed, briefly turning her dark-hued blue skin into a shade of purple. "Of course!" she declared. "Goddess, I'm still getting used to the idea of people even recognizing me," she explained, adding. "Solik, dear, can you take the picture?"

Without saying a word, Solik Vass brought up his omni-tool's photo function and began to take pictures as the three asari began adopting poses commando poses around Dreed. He took a dozen shots and forwarded the entire batch to Dreed. As soon as Solik had finished, Dreed pointed out that Adria S'Voz had recently wandered nearby. Dreed's daughters gasped and gawked at the star.

"C'mon! I'll introduce you!" Linia declared. She grabbed the maidens' hands and began leading them both towards the vid star. The maidens squealed the entire way.

Dreed chuckled at the sight before turning his attention to Vass. "Heard you got banged up the other day, kid. You okay? You other species heal so damn slowly..."

Vass shrugged. "Had a fight with a human. A short fight. He won," the salarian explained. "See, I had heard the commotion by the front gate the other day and went to investigate," he continued, hastily adding, "For my behind-the-scenes documentary, you see... Anyway, when I got there I assumed that the human standing over Villik Marsus' unconscious body must have been same person that had knocked him out. I tried to make a citizen's arrest, but, ummm... I got a few bruises for my trouble, but nothing serious. Luckily, C-Sec arrived a few moments later."

Dreed nodded, chuckling more as he did. "By any chance was this an older human with a heavy scars on the right side of his face and a glassy right eye?"

The salarian was puzzled. How did the Krogan know this? "Yes, why do you ask?" Vass replied.

"Cuz he's standing right over there!" Dreed exclaimed as he pointed to a spot on the other side of the room. Vass peered in that direction and sure enough there was the human. He was casually chatting with cinematographer Savara Korek.

"What is he doing here?" Vass wondered aloud.

Dreed helped himself to a bottle of elcor wine from the open bar while continuing to talk to Vass. "News of the craziness at the front gate spread pretty fast that day. After Korek heard the name of the human that the officers nabbed, she headed directly towards C-Sec Headquarters and bailed him out." Dreed smashed the top of the bottle against the bar and took a long slug of wine. The krogan swept the glass shards on the table into his hand and munched on them like they were salted peanuts. "Not 100% sure why she did it, but the fact that that human is her date for the wrap party oughta tell you something," he chortled.

Vass puzzled over the odd couple, then shrugged slightly. "Speaking of turians, how is Mr. Aklaysius doing now that Suzra is gone?"

"He's carrying on like a man should. What else can he do?" Dreed replied as he took another slug of wine. "He says the Migrant Fleet isn't allowing any outgoing transmissions, so they can't even exchange messages now. Getting cut off from Suzra completely stung Tyruss. But it has also prevented him from dwelling on the situation too much."

Dreed emptied the wine bottle and tossed it at a garbage can. The throw wasn't even close and bottle instead smashed against a wall. "Ooops," Dreed muttered. He continued, "What's your plans for after the production is packed up? I'm going on an overdue vacation. Gonna take the mate and the maidens to some garden planet and just go camping. Take it easy. What about you?"

Vass swallowed slightly. "I'm working up the courage to ask Linia to come to Sur'Kesh with me and meet my family."

Dreed slapped Vass on the back. "Good fer you, kid! Do that stuff sooner rather than later," he declared. "If there's one thing I have learned after 600 years, it's that life is short."

In This Edition of Fornax:

Exclusive! Nude Human Male Photos From Inside Council Chambers - "Worth The Goddamn Risk" Model Says!

Shi'Paard's Doctor Will Make It All Better - Pictorial and interview with Blasto vid star Sayryta M'Laan!

Hot New Trend on Palaven: Human Mistresses - "We're Breaking Down Barriers!"

"As We're Exchanging Fire They Shout, 'Loved Your Latest Vid! Really Hot!'" - Mercs Who Moonlight In Porn!

Dr. Solus Advises - Sex With High-Level Biotics: Why Proper Restraints Are Crucial To Success!

Khalisah al-Jilani strode slowly and quietly down the Presidium boardwalk even though there was no particular reason for her to be so cautious. After weeks of having bodyguard watch her every step and following that with effectively being under house arrest at Consort Sha'ira's old hideout, she was finally free of such constraints. There were no gangsters who wanted her dead, no assassins following her every move, no terrorists trying to turn her into an unwilling martyr. None that she knew of, at any rate. She was free to just take a stroll in public, hand in hand with her lover, with nothing greater to worry about than if any of the grease from the fish & chips she had bought from a sidewalk vendor was going to dribble onto her dress.

In her heart she would have liked to have skipped and sang. Old habits aren't broken so easily though. Part of Khalisah still took notice of every odd-acting passerby, every random strange noise and whether the occasional shadow-y area was large enough to have a person lurking inside. Yet the sense of dread that usually accompanied this wariness was gone. It would take Khalisah some time to get her usual swaggering confidence back after the events of the last few weeks, but it would happen. Being able to enjoy the simple things that she had missed out on was helping.

Khalisah plucked a single chip from the container, dipped it into the curry sauce container and offered it Jacana. The asari leaned over, deliberately letting the weight of her body press against the human's, and sniffed the offered treat. She ate the chip with a smile and immediately followed it with a kiss, the tangy taste of salt, oil and curry still on her lips. Khalisah smiled back as she licked her lips.

"Mmm, I like asari even better now that I know you can get them curry-flavored," she quipped.

"Oh, really?" Jacana joked back. "And, according to your presumably vast experience with my species, what do we ordinarily taste like?"

"Bubblegum," the reporter immediately retorted, sagely nodding as she spoke. "Usually one of the fruitier flavors. It's nice."

"Well, tough," Jacana laughed as she grabbed another chip and ate it. "Today, you're getting more of this," the asari declared. She planted a second kiss on the human, then led her to a nearby park bench.

"How are you, really, Khalisah?" Jacana asked as soon as both were seated.

"I'm better. Really, I am," she replied. "You're the main thing I'm worried about. I know the doctors said that that pirate's device didn't do any permanent damage. Still…"

"It's just bruises," the asari reassured her lover. "After going only 1 for 4 with my 'rescues' of you this time around, it's my pride that's hurt worst of all," she sighed. Jacana hesitated for a few moments then haltingly asked, "You are going to honor the arrangement with T'Loak, right?"

Khalisah drew Jacana in for a long, lingering kiss and then half-whispered, "yes" to the asari's clear relief. The reporter leaned back on the bench and chuckled. "The irony of it is that now I know what is really going on and I have the information from the source: Aria T'Loak. 'Her Majesty' flat-out told that pirate she is going to take Omega back. The Blasto vid must just be a cover for that. The fact that she was able to gain access to the 6th Dimension Vids set without barging in like you did and could get its own security to keep C-Sec at bay proves the studio is acting on her behalf. All those guns and explosives I saw in the hold of the studio's freighter? They must be for the private army she'll use to storm the Terminus Systems station. That Special Tasks Group agent showing up to help T'Loak suggests that the STG is in on this too. I have everything I need for one of the biggest exposes of my career…"

She took Jacana's hands in her own and patted them. "...But what would be the point of running the story?" she continued. "I'd just be giving Cerberus a heads up that Her Majesty is on her way and I don't like the idea of that. Not when I know what Cerberus is capable of doing. Not after learning how many sympathizers Cerberus must have out in the Terminus Systems. T'Loak is the best hope we have of stopping them. So I'm not going to stop her." Jacana gave a sigh of relief and nuzzled her head against the human's shoulder.

"All that said, I WILL be the first reporter to write the inside story of how Her Majesty took Omega back from Cerberus AFTER it happens," Khalisah declared, her voice rising as she added, "Suck it, Emily Wong!"

Jacana, her face still pressed against Khalisah's body, began convulsing with laughter. A minute later, she straightened and sat up.

"In the meantime, I have an idea," Jacana announced. "You still haven't seen Adria S'Voz in an action vid, have you?"

Khalisah shook her head 'no.'

"Want to remedy that?" Jacana asked, extending her arm and pointing to the other side of the boardwalk.

Khalisah looked in the direction her lover indicated and saw a theater marque announcing, "Blasto: The Hunt For Saren – Held Over By Popular Demand!" The reporter giggled and shook her head. "Fuck it, why not? I hear Adria S'Voz is at her sexiest when playing a human."

Jacana punched Khalisah in the arm, then stood up and led her over to the other side of the boardwalk. A few minutes later they were inside the theater, waiting for the moment when the lights would dim for the matinee showing. Once again, they stopped paying attention to Adria S'Voz's movie about halfway through. The couple found other things to do in the darkened theater.

Three rows behind the couple a petite human woman also stopped paying attention to vid so she could instead focus on the action happening inside the theater. The enthralled human silently munched on handfuls popcorn as she spied on the make out session. 'Still totally worth it...' Kasumi thought as she adjusted her cybernetic eyes to their night-vision setting. 'Oh, yeah. Hottest PDA I have seen in ages!'

-The End-

Well, folks, that's the official conclusion of "Her Majesty Is Not Pleased." Magpie and I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as we have enjoyed writing it!

Stay tuned for a special bonus "Just for fun/No, this didn't really happen" chapter in which we goof around for a bit because why not? 😉