Uncontrollable Feeling

"Guys, guys!" Chuck has stopped the group the moment they re-entered the Glade. "Gally found out you guys left. He called a meeting of the Keepers. Everyone's in the Council Hall."

They all felt grim upon hearing the news, but they also knew that it was unavoidable. Doing what they had done, sneaking out in the Maze, was totally against the rules. Even if they entered it unnoticed, it would be difficult for them to stay that way. Hence, the group walked right back to the Council Hall for the second time that day, not a single leap in their steps. Each of them had an inkling of what Gally was going to say, yet none of them really wanted to hear it. But again, they had to do this. They had to own up to what they'd done. So, with Hope ushering Hugo to stay by Chuck, the group walked into the Council Hall and was immediately greeted… by Gally.

"Oh, it's nice of you to join us," Gally said sarcastically. "You guys enjoy your little field-trip?"

"What the heck, Gally?" Minho hissed. "You think you can call a Keeper Meeting without us?"

"The last time I checked, the Greenie and the girl weren't Keepers," Gally hissed right back. "Would you two mind waiting outside?"

"O-Oh my gosh, you're right!" Hope stammered in embarrassment. "I'm not supposed to be here, sor-!"

"They stay!" Minho suddenly announced, causing Thomas' and Hope's eyes to widen in surprise. "So, what's the point of this?"

"...We got two hours before sundown," Newt spoke up for the first time. However, the sad tone that she heard coming from him, made Hope sad as well. "We gotta figure out what to do with Alby."

Winston crossed his arms over his chest. "You wanna banish him."

"No. No, no one wants to banish anyone, alright?" Gally argued. "But he's stung. We don't have a choice."

"Y-Yes, we do," Thomas argued right back, making Gally instantly glare at him.

"You say somethin', Newbie?"

"Yeah, we have a choice," Thomas restated without a single worry. "We don't have to banish Alby."

"Right." Gally nodded. "And how's that?"

"We found this," Thomas said after he snatched the cylinder-metal-thing from Minho's hand. He then placed it into Newt's hands. "We found it on our 'field-trip.' Inside of a Griever."

"This is…" Newt looked back up at everyone once he inspected it. From his view, he saw the red light, a red seven, and four different letters written in black. They spelt out 'W.I.C.K.E.D'. "These are the same letters we get on our supplies."

"Exactly. So whoever put us here obviously made the Grievers," Thomas remarked. "And this is the first real clue. The first anything that you've found over three years, right, Minho?"

Minho sighed. "Right."

"Newt, we gotta go back out there," Thomas then said. "Who knows where this might lead us."

Hope wasn't a confrontive person: she liked to wait until someone came to her first. You know, so that they were comfortable and decided that they themselves were okay to talk to her. She also didn't like conflict. Hope liked it when everyone was on the same side, particularly when they were all trapped in the same circumstance. So that was why this circumstance between Gally and Thomas worried Hope so much. Why she was unable to speak up during their conversation however much she disliked watching it. No one in that room was comfortable, and it was sad to see how divided they were. This was a fight between Gally and Thomas, but also a fight between safety and freedom. Hope understood that Gally just wanted to keep everyone safe, but she also understood that Thomas just wanted to help everyone. And it only got worse from there when Newt, who was obviously leaning toward Thomas' side, showed Gally a knowing glance.

"You see what he's trying to do, right?" Gally inquired with venom in his voice. "First he breaks our rules, and then he tries to convince us to abandon them totally? Th-The rules are the only thing that have ever held us together! Why now are we questioning that?! If Alby was here, you know he'd agree with me." Gally then pointed his glare right toward Thomas… and Hope. "This shank needs to be punished. And Hope, you know that I'm your friend, but you have to be punished just like him. This isn't okay."

"I… I know…" Hope mumbled apologetically. "I'm sorry for what I did, and whatever Newt says," Hope moved her eyes to stare into said boy's eyes, "I won't argue with it. Whatever you do to Thomas, do to me. I won't complain… I-I trust your judgment, Newt."

Newt looked into Hope's eyes, then Thomas' eyes, then back at Hope's. But as everyone was waiting expectantly for Newt's response, the boy merely continued to gaze at the girl. Hope could still see that sadness lingering in Newt's dark brown eyes, so she didn't look away either. She simply looked at him, and he looked at her. And without a single word spoken between them, Newt came up with an answer.

"You're right, Thomas and Hope broke the rules," Newt acknowledged, prompting Gally to immediately nod in agreement and satisfaction. "One night in the Pit. No food."

"Oh, come on, Newt!" Though, that attitude of Gally's changed just as quickly. "'One night in the Pit'?! Y-You think that's gonna stop him from going into the Maze?!"

"No," Newt answered matter-of-factly. "And we can't just have non-Runners running into the Maze whenever they feel like it! So let's just make this official, shall we? Starting from tomorrow," Newt looked straight at Thomas, "you're a Runner." He then looked at Hope. "And… you too, if you want it."

Hope eyes widened. "N-No, Newt, you don't have to-"

"Wow." But Gally's pained, angry voice made Hope stop herself. And when he abruptly started walking toward the door and Frypan tried to stop him, Gally merely pushed his friend away. "No, Fry. Don't."

Furthermore, upon seeing Gally's even more pained expression, Hope couldn't stop herself. Exactly like Frypan, Hope moved her legs and followed Gally outside. But, of course, she didn't leave without an apology. "I-I'm sorry, but I gotta go. Congratulations, Thomas!"

Siggy and Hope were then out of everyone's sight, leaving some to feel uneasy and others… feeling quite overjoyed.

"Gally…!" Fry and Hope called after the boy, who was speed-walking across the Glade. "Gally, wait!"

"Just leave me alone!" Gally raged. "Especially you!"

"Y-You can tell me if you're after with me!" Hope pleaded with sympathy in her eyes. "You know I won't force you, but I think that it'll make you feel better!"

Gally clicked his tongue. "Why the heck do you suddenly care what I think, huh?! You haven't seemed to care in the past few days!"

"No, Gally! I do care!" Hope shouted. "I-I care more than you know!"

"We all do!" Siggy added from beside the girl. "So can you just stop for a second and talk with us?!"

"Talk with you about what?!" Gally barked, making Hope's eyes even sadder.

"About what you're feeling! About how you-!"

"About how you've suddenly changed ever since he got here!" Ultimately, Gally snapped: he stopped walking, turned around, and got right up in Hope's face. "I mean, what's gotten into you, Hope?! What happened to the girl that didn't break all the rules?! What happened to the girl that didn't want to mess everything up for us?! A-And why're you always on his side?! Why is everyone on his side? And why am I the bad guy here?!"

A soft wind passed the group of three, but only Hope's hair danced in the breeze. As she sympathetically stared up into Gally's eyes, she could see every emotion he was feeling, and she even understood why they were there. Gally was scared of losing everything, exactly like Hope was; Gally was scared of everyone getting hurt, exactly like Hope was. And despite him trying to do the right thing, everyone thought that he was the bad guy. The antagonist of this story. But he wasn't. He was just a boy. A boy that wanted to protect the life he had spent three years building. More so, Gally was right that, ever since Thomas came into the picture, Hope had changed. And although she didn't necessarily know why that was, Hope did know one thing for certain: if Gally saw Hope as someone who was trying to destroy his hard-worked life, then that girl would've done anything to fix that.

"You're… You're not the bag guy here, Gally," Hope eventually spoke up. "I am. I'm the bad guy here, and I'm gonna fix that. I promise."

Therefore, Hope turned around and ran back to the Council Hall, leaving Gally to stand there… utterly flabbergasted. With his eyes wide with shock, the Keeper of the Builders watched as Hope ran away from him, his heart starting to beat in remorse. It wasn't really that Gally regretted what he said, it was more or less that… he had accidentally blamed it all on Hope. He didn't mean to do that, and yet he did just that. The realization made the boy feel even worse.

"Y'know, If you're jealous," Frypan gazed at Gally earnestly, "you can't take it all out on her. It's not her fault."

Gally's hands clenched into fists. "That's not… I'm not-"

"You can't fool me, man," Frypan interrupted with a shake of his head. "I know you. Better than anyone else."

"Then why…" Gally gulped painfully. "Then why are you on his side?"

"I'm not. I'm on your side."

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"It does if you stop being a klunker about it."

"Then just tell me."

"…Gally," Siggy walked up and placed a hand on Gally's shoulder, "if there is one person in this Glade that deserves to be free, it will always be you in my eyes."

Without another word, Siggy dropped his hand and walked off, and once more, Gally was left to stand in place utterly bewildered. His hands were still clenched at his sides, and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Never in his life had Gally felt so alone yet surrounded. He felt so seen yet felt so very blind. And he was blind. Gally had been blind… to those who surrounded him.

Hope sprinted back to the Council Hall, sadness still lining her eyes. However, there was also a newfound determination in them. Hope knew what she needed to do, and she also knew what needed to be done. Those two things sounded the same, but they were very different. If you knew what you needed to do, yet didn't do it, then you truly didn't need to do it. But if you were willing to actually do what needed to be done, then your need was true. It was genuine. Hence, Hope ran into the Council Hall without a single doubt in her mind. Even when she saw only Newt still standing in the large hut, all the other Keepers already gone, the girl didn't hesitate.

"Newt! Can I please talk to you about something?" Hope asked as she walked down the stairs and toward Newt. "I appreciate you letting me become a Runner, and I know that that's a huge honor. However, I don't think that that's the right job for me. I like being a Cook, and I don't wanna- Um!"

…Bam! Hope's entire world twirled the opposite direction before she could even finish, since the moment she was standing in front of Newt, the boy grabbed her arm and pushed her against the same wall he had just been leaning against himself. Moreover, Newt slowly placed his hands on either of Hope's arms, causing the girl's eyes to grow even larger in size. Though, she wasn't necessarily scared of his sudden, out-of-character action. She was more confused than anything. Hope was confused and worried, because once she'd gotten over her initial surprise, Hope noticed that his head was pointed downward, his blond hair covering his eyes. And Newt never did that.

He always looked people in the eye except when…

"N-Newt…?" Hope whispered out his name. "What's… W-What's wrong?"

"Do you… think I did the right thing?" Newt questioned, and Hope could hear that his tone was laced with sadness. "With Thomas, I mean."

"Uhm, I… A-As I said, I will always trust your judgment, Newt." Hope gulped. "But why… why aren't you?"

"I'm not second-guessing myself," Newt answered while his hands, which were still holding Hope's upper-arms, started to shake. "I-I just want… I want to be reassured."

Upon hearing that single sentence, Hope understood. She understood exactly what Newt was feeling. Hope recalled only a few hours earlier when she saw his eyes hold such misery, and if she could see Newt's eyes now, she knew that she'd see that same misery. Newt was going through something dark, and the only thing he wanted… was to be comforted. But just like Hope, Newt didn't know how to ask for help. All Newt could do in response to his pain was stay silent… or beg.

"Why are you feeling this way?" Hope finally asked in the softest, kindest tone she could muster. However, this tone did come quite naturally whenever she was talking to Newt. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I… I-I just feel so bloody…" But when Newt's voice started to shake, he slowly dropped his head to Hope's shoulders. "I'm scared… I-I don't… want everything… to go away… Especially not you. A-And I'm sorry about… what I did earlier. It's just that I felt so scared, and I… I couldn't control myself. I act so weird when it comes to you. And it got even worse, because I… I thought that I'd never bloody see you again."

Once again, with only a few words and one sentence, Hope understood everything. She understood why Newt was feeling this way, and because of it, the same guilt she'd felt toward Gally just before, came straight back. But so much stronger this time around, since Hope had fully understood her own actions. Hope recklessly running into the Maze had hurt a lot of people, and it astounded her how she'd ever thought that that action was even remotely selfless. And yes, in some aspects it was very selfless, but it was also an act that Hope only thought about herself during it. She didn't want to lose anyone else, so she ran into that Maze despite the chance of death. She risked her life because she couldn't live with another one of her friends dying.

But look at what that decision had done to everyone else. Look at the people she'd hurt, and the relationships that she'd started to tear. Hope didn't regret going into the Maze to help her two friends, but she did regret forgetting about her other friends' feelings. About all of their lives. So, at that realization, Hope finally knew what to say.

"I have been the bad guy, haven't I?" Hope mumbled, causing Newt's eyes to widen in repose. He didn't lean away from her, though, and kept his forehead resting on her shoulder. "I'm sorry that I worried you, and I'm sorry that my actions put you through pain. You didn't deserve that, Newt. You didn't deserve to be… left behind like that." Then, once she took a deep breath, Hope lifted her hand to Newt's head. She placed her hand in his hair, feeling how soft it was. "But I want you to know that I'm here now. And that I'm never gonna leave you again. I'm right here. I'm here, Newt, and you deserve this. You deserve… to be reassured."

When he heard this, and as he felt "annoying" tears form in his eyes, Newt couldn't hold himself back any longer. He wrapped both of his arms around Hope's body, hugging her body flush to his own; he then buried his face in her neck, relishing in how good it felt for him to merely be touching her. Newt never wanted to let her go. He never wanted to go through almost losing this girl again. He just wanted to protect her. That was all he wanted. And, it seemed, Hope wanted the same exact thing.

"It's okay," Hope cooed into his ear, fully accepting his touch. "It's all gonna be okay now."

For the next few moments, Newt simply held Hope. There was no talking between them, not even a single word. They just held one another and allowed themselves to be themselves. That was the true power of their bond: they could bring out the full force of each other's needs and wants and opinions. Hope and Newt were just… that comfortable with one another. However, after the boy had gotten over his relief, a question popped into his mind. A question that hadn't been answered or thought up until he had held Hope so close. Until he had felt how much his heart cared for her. And the question was so endearing that Newt needed to know the answer to it. If he didn't, then he felt that he could explode.

It was an uncontrollable feeling. A feeling that only Hope could make him feel. And although the question made Newt wanna reenact something, he still knew he needed to ask it first. Therefore, Newt deliberately leaned away, put his face right in front of Hope's, and glanced away… with a blush on his cheeks.

"Did you… Did you hate it?"

Hope tilted her head innocently. "Hate… what?"

"Y'know," Newt's eyes hesitantly found hers, "the kiss."

"Th-The…!?" Hope could only yelp, while her face went completely red. After the million things that had happened that day, the girl had almost forgotten about that kiss, so now that she'd remembered it, it seemed so much more baffling. It was almost like, 'Oh, right. That happened.' But the more Hope thought about it, the more unreal it felt. So, at first, poor Hope couldn't really give poor Newt an answer. "I-I… Uh! What even… Why… When… I-I don't…!"

"I get that you're embarrassed, but you kinda deserved it," Newt grumbled with a boyish pout on his face. "I mean, you did kiss me before that."

Hope stopped. Her body froze, and her heart silenced. Finally, Hope remembered that instance as well. And she… Well…

She had kissed him on the cheek (she definitely did that), but she only did that because of the intense gratitude she was feeling toward him at that moment. Still, that singular action - now that Hope was actually thinking it over - was very strange for her to do. There weren't many times that Hope touched people, and there were no times that she wanted to… do that to somebody. Hope understood that her feelings toward Newt were different. That they were unlike the way she felt toward anyone else in the Glade. "I adore you," Hope had said to Newt. And although she had said that, Hope didn't necessarily understand… what that meant. To most people, they would understand what such feelings and words meant. They'd know it straight away. But Hope… Hope was a special case. She understood everyone's feelings except for her own, so why… why she couldn't say…

"Did you hate it?"

Hope couldn't… say yes. If there was one thing that Hope did understand about herself in that moment, it was that 'yes' couldn't be her response.

"…No," Hope ultimately said, prompting Newt to whip his head toward her in complete shock. And the girl he saw standing before him had her hand over her mouth, the deepest of blushes, and an unknown look in her eyes. It was embarrassing, but also… something else. "N-No, I… I didn't… h-hate it."

"Y-You didn't?"

Hope just shook her head.

"You sure?"

Hope nodded.

"Like, sure sure?"

Hope gulped. "N-Newt…"

"Sorry, I'm just… Honestly, I don't even know what to say," Newt gushed, trying his best to hide his happy yet slightly amused smile. "I just can't believe you actually… Wow."

"I-I'm sorry, but I don't… I don't get it," Hope acknowledged in a quizzical tone. The confused look on her face made Newt almost die. "What does… this mean? Is this… good?"

"You tell me," Newt said with a smirk. "Is this a good thing?"

"O-Okay, you know I can't answer that!" Hope squeaked and then pushed past Newt. At that point, her bashfulness was at an all time high, so trying to walk away from him was instinct. "I-I need some air, please! You're gonna make me pass-"

But the moment that Hope walked past him, Newt grabbed onto her wrist and stopped her. "I need to ask one more thing."

"Y-You…" Hope slowly turned her head around, but she was met with the back of Newt's head. He had, somehow, caught onto her wrist without even turning around. "You do?"

"Did you like that… side of me?" Newt asked, and Hope felt his hand squeeze around her wrist. "Or did you think it was annoying?"

"What… side of you?"

"The side where I said all those things to you after I… I kissed you."

Hope's eyes widened in realization.

"And that'll happen again if you pull a stunt like that ever again, you got it?"

And her cheeks went red once more.

"You're so cute."

Still, Hope knew exactly what to say to him.

"W-Well, I will admit that your forwardness caught me by surprise," Hope admitted and then smiled sheepishly. "But you only said those things because you were happy, right? Because you were worried that I'd never see you again? A-And although I don't understand some of the things you said, I could never find any part of you… annoying, Newt. It was surprising, but it definitely wasn't annoying."

Newt was surprised, but after he had fully digested all what Hope had said, he had to let out a long sigh. Once more, Hope had known exactly what to say to him. It was kinda creepy, but it also made all of Newt's uneasiness simply wash away. He, too, had been taken aback by his strange character flip, so his head had been quite cloudy for the entire day. But now, it felt more clear than ever. And it was all thanks… to that girl.

"...Thanks, Hope," Newt said, finally turning his head around and showing Hope the happiest of smiles. "Really, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Hope's blush returned as she stared at Newt's face, not knowing how to respond to such words nor his expression. She had never seen him smile so joyfully, and it somehow caused him to be ten-times more attractive. His face drew her in, while her heart beated ferociously in her chest. H-How… Hope thought. How can he do this to me so easily? Furthermore, it made Hope feel so amazing inside… to know that someone appreciated her.

BANG! Just then, the Council Hall's doors snapped open, and the flustered Hope immediately jumped away from Newt's grasp. On the other hand, however, Newt seemed totally calm and collected, turning toward the new arrivals with his normal expression plastered onto his face.

"What's up?" he questioned Jeff and Clint. "Something happen?"

"You… could say that," Jeff said through tired breaths. "There's… She's…"

"She's awake," Clint remarked when his best friend was unable to. "But she's… kinda crazy."

Newt raised an eyebrow. "In what way?"

"You're just gonna have to see for yourself," Jeff huffed. "It's not good."

"Okay, got it," Newt remarked and then started walking toward the door. "You two go get Minho if you haven't. We'll need his help."

"Got it," Clint replied before finally noticed Hope still standing at the bottom of the Council Hall. He gave her a weird look after noticing how frozen she looked. "Uhm, Hope? Are you okay?"

"I… I-I think…" Hope shook her head once Newt left the room. "For the first time ever, I think I'm gonna be honest and say no. No, I am not okay."

Jeff and Clint merely glanced at one another, while Hope could only stand there. Still, she was glad that she and Newt had made up. At least, that was what she was trying to distract her mind with. Instead of feeling those unknown emotions swirling through her body, Hope thought about the one emotion that was sometimes hard for her to feel: happiness.

A/N: Sorry, you gotta wait one more chapter for Teresa. ;+