Chapter Sixty-One
Annalisa. Anna fucking Lisa. Anna fucking goddamn Lisa. The name repeated ragefully through Nicky's mind. She should have known. She should have fucking known Annalisa would be the fucking cause of it. Head shook spitefully at the revelation. Annalisa seemed to always be the cause of her girlfriend's misery in school the more her thoughts pondered on it. She dug her teeth distastefully through the flesh of her tongue. The only thing she could do to keep her anger from displaying outward was to retain from speaking. Lorna wasn't who should have to witness her vengeful anger. No, Annalisa was the one who needed to have her face pounded into right then and there. Who needed to be fucking stopped once and for all.
Observing her daughter's behavior, it didn't take much for Red to pick up on the anger which clearly seemed to emanate from her demeanor. Even through her refusal to allow it fully out. She inwardly sighed and shifted her eyes onto Lorna, peering her over dishearteningly. At least the truth was given on how the cut actually got there, she thought. That was one very small step in the right direction. She placed a hand on a shoulder of each of the teen's, giving them both a comforting pat.
"Annalisa?" Red squinted her eyes as she tried to remember who the girl was. "She's that little blonde girl who came in here a few months ago, yes? When you had that incident in the bathroom?"
The question tightened a lump at the back of Lorna's throat. Her head nodded and she tilted it down so that her eyes focused on the shoes of both she and Nicky. She swallowed, hoping none of what was said caused Nicky any more apprehension. Nicky spent too much time worrying over her—too much time bothering with her. She loathed the idea of being such a heavy burden on her sweet Nicky. Naturally, she grabbed a hold of one of her hands and gave it a soft squeeze. Hoping to ease away whatever anger was tearing through her in that moment.
With Nicky's hand squeezed tightly, affectionately, in her own, Lorna averted her eyes back onto Mrs. Reznikov's. She noted the concern and worry oozing from them, almost in the same way as Nicky's, and it only strengthened the lump in her throat. "Erm, yeah—that's her," the response came out in a faintly shaky voice. She felt her girlfriend's hand tense up, causing her head to turn back so that her eyes were peering right up at her. "I—I'm sorry, hon," she spoke not much louder than a whisper while reaching her other hand to rest against one of her cheeks, giving it a soothing pat.
The apology made Nicky's anger boil even fiercer. She grinded her teeth roughly together as she shook her head profusely. Eyes returned Lorna's gaze with a sharp austerity trickling out of them. "I don't want you to apologize. You have no reason—no damn reason to be sorry, Lorna. Don't. Don't say sorry for what's been done to you. Annalisa—that grimy little good-for-nothing snake of a person—she's the fucking one who needs to be sorry. She needs to be begging for your forgiveness. What else has she done? What is ma talkin' bout' with this bathroom incident?"
"But you're mad, Nicky. I made you mad. See this is exactly why I didn't want to say anything. I don't like seeing you mad and upset over me and the petty shit that comes along with me. Ya deserve better than this, hon. It's not worth the trouble talking about it. Just, uh, just—school's over, shouldn't we be leaving? What if we get locked in the building?"
Regardless of her mother's presence, Nicky took Lorna right back in her arms and sat down on the foot of the bed so that she could easily cradle and cuddle the smaller teen closer. Anger faded to the back burner after hearing what came from her girlfriend's mouth. She swallowed a good amount of saliva which had accumulated and took Lorna's face into her hands. Big brown eyes poured mercifully into the younger teen's. Her head shook sadly at the thought of Lorna's keeping this hidden out of fear of being a pest. Something that couldn't be further from the truth.
"I am mad, kid, but not at you. You didn't make me mad," she started off, letting a hand comb softly through thick dark waves of hair. Teeth bit down on the inside of her lower lip. Arms enveloped protectively around Lorna's body, letting her front naturally press against the back of the one her arms were grasped around. "The only person I'm angry with is Annalisa. And when I find that little snake, so help me god I will tear her—"
"You will not do anything, my Nicky," Red intervened the second she noticed Nicky's anger rising through her voice inflection.
She walked over to where the pair of them were and sat down beside the two. A soothing hand placed onto her surrogate daughter's shoulder. The anger she observed being displayed by her was completely understandable. Completely rational—she, too, felt rather enraged to hear what this Annalisa had done to Lorna. However, she also knew that it wasn't Nicky's place to show revenge to the girl. No matter how much she deserved it. "I will make sure something is done about this, believe me I will. This kind of behavior is not going to be tolerated here."
Red turned her attention onto Lorna, grabbing one of her hands in hers and peered gently into her eyes. "What Annalisa did to you could be considered assault. It's a good thing you told us the truth. We can't have someone like her walking around the school with weapons in her possession. She could have done worse to you, honey, if you didn't let us know about the incident." She gave a soft pat to Lorna's hand when she noticed the discomfort slowly settling on her face.
Shaking her head harshly, Nicky snapped her head around to give a hard stare towards her mother. "What's gonna be done, ma? You're gonna tell the principal? Big deal. Let me have a word with Annalisa and I'll make sure she never fucking comes near Lorna again. Not just that but she won't even look at her again when I'm done speaking to her."
"No, Nicky," the middle-aged school nurse commanded. She lifted a finger and pointed it rather firmly in the young girl's face. Despite admiring the fierce volume of care her daughter had for Lorna, she wasn't about to enable her to cause bodily harm to another student. Even if said student had been the culprit of such a sickly marking on Lorna's face. "You are not to go anywhere near this Annalisa, Nicky. I am the adult here and I will be the one to make sure this gets taken care of. Yes, this will be brought to the attention of the principal. It's her job to make sure unruly students like Annalisa are dealt with accordingly."
Lorna jolted out of Nicky's arms quite violently upon hearing talk of the principal being dragged into this mess. A mess that was only currently existing because of herself. She shook her head and threw her hands in the air. Frantic brown eyes looked intensely over at Mrs. Reznikov. She waved a hand in her direction while shaking her head a second time. "No," a breathless whisper. "No," this time a normal volume voice. "Please, Red, please don't get the principal involved. It's fine. I'm all good, now. There's no reason to bother the principal with all this. Everything's fine now."
"No, everything is not fine. You're not fine." The words slipped swiftly from the Russian woman's mouth.
No wonder her Nicky always seemed exhausted. Lorna's constant rebuttal against the truth of what was going on around her was one of the most tiring things Red ever experienced as a high school nurse. And she'd seen some things in those near two decades. But none of it compared to the Lorna Morello debacles. "There is absolute a multitude of reasons to bother the principal with what happened, Lorna. Annalisa brought a nail to the school and used it to cut your skin. That's one hell of a big deal and you can't just sweep it under the rug and think that's gonna make it go away. It's not. It's not gonna go away until you deal with it. Which means the principal needs to hear about it. So that she can make sure an incident like this is not ever repeated again."
A deep sigh forced its way from Lorna's lungs. She felt her heart-rate steadily climbing within her chest. Eyes shifted rapidly back and forth between Red and Nicky. Neither one had allowed their focus to falter from her, she effortlessly observed. The inference only continued to aid in the rising of her heart-rate. She opened her mouth and closed it, swallowing a vast volume of air in the process. Sure, the idea of the principal finding out what happened and making certain Annalisa hadn't ever the chance to do something like that again in the future sounded amazing to Lorna's ears. She wanted more than anything to never have to deal with the blonde's wrath anymore. However, she had a strong sense that the principal wouldn't be quite as helpful as what her mind was making it out to be or what even Red might have been thinking would be done. No, she thought, the only thing that would come of having the school principal dragged into this mess was likely to be more bullying. Annalisa wouldn't take lightly to Lorna's getting her in trouble. Not at all.
Nicky was thankful for her mother's adamant words being spoken to the brunette. Lorna needed to hear the truth. Needed to know that it wasn't okay what was done to her. That it wasn't okay for her to just brush it off like a piece of fuzz. And, with the intensifying anger building in her own body right now solely directed at Annalisa, she knew had it been her who said any of those words to Lorna at this current moment they would have come out a lot harsher than necessary. A sigh of relief escaped to acknowledge she lucked out of unintentionally causing any further turmoil for her girlfriend.
As she retreated from her thoughts, however, she loathed to see the frantic desperation oozing from Lorna's eyes and face. The sight instantly had her standing up and walking over to her, engulfing her in her strong arms once more. Her lips brushed lightly against the flesh of Lorna's forehead while one hand cradled around a pale cheek. "Why are ya so against telling the principal about this, huh? Is there more shit going on between you and Annalisa? And I still need ya to tell me about this bathroom incident."
"No, I just—I don't wanna make a big scene about it. I just want things to be normal. I don't know if the principal knowing is gonna make things any better. I mean I watched movies where they tell the principal about the mean kids and nothing changes, it just makes it all worse. I don't want that. I don't want worse, Nicky."
Stroking her fingers slowly up and down the length of her cheek, Nicky sighed at the disclosure. It wasn't not a valid reason to be resistive towards the idea of informing the principal. Yet, that still didn't mean the principal wasn't going to be told. She sighed once more and brought her other hand up to rub at one of her temples. The whole time her eyes remained peering into Lorna's. "Lorna, doll, movies aren't the most accurate when it comes to shit like that. Of course they're gonna make it seem like things only get worse—it's for entertainment, kid, that's why it's a movie and why things get worse. It's all just for show and drama. That's not like real life, okay?" Eyes quickly shifted over her head onto Red, desperate for assistance in reassuring Lorna.
"Isn't that right, ma? Movies just like to drag things out for drama?"
Hearing her daughter's slightly frantic queries, Red gave a copious nod of her head and held out her hands for emphasis. "Of course. Movies just exaggerate stuff like that for views. None of what's in them is realistic," she pointed out, averting her eyes over to Lorna. A sigh came out; if the situation hadn't been so serious, she would have laughed at the thought of Lorna's reasoning for not wanting to get the principal involved being based off what she'd watched in movies.
A breath came through her larynx. "Lorna, I promise you nothing is gonna get worse after I speak with the principal. But I'm not not going to say anything. It is my duty to do so. Annalisa needs to be reprimanded for her cruel behavior. She could have done worse to you—she could have brought a worse weapon the next time if ya kept this all to yourself." Red shuddered at her own comment. The thought of what could have happened had they not pried the honesty from Lorna made her insides twist and turn. She only hoped that one day Lorna would see the benefits of her secrets all finally coming to fruition.
Her head shook again—it shook so much the past half hour she was shocked it hadn't frozen in such a position—and she reiterated her focus on the wound running along the right side of Lorna's cheek. Determining now was a good time she made sure it was properly cleaned and dressed with some tape and gauss to keep the cut from getting any infections as well as to cease the bleeding.
"Hmm," she ran her thumb gently along it one more time before removing her hand from the cheek altogether. "I'm gonna clean it out with some peroxide so it doesn't get infected or anything. And because it's so deep, I'm gonna use a couple of gauss to bandage it with." A finger was wagged sternly between the two girls as she slightly backed away, "You stay put, Lorna, hear me? No trying to escape." Eyes shifted onto Nicky, "I'm sure you'll make sure she doesn't run away, yes?" She waited until she received a firm nod from her daughter and then turned around to gather what supplies she needed.
While Red was busy with her task, Nicky took that time to scoop Lorna back into her arms and carry her to sit down on the plastic chairs near the front of the room. She sat down first, then carefully pulled the shorter girl to sit on her lap. Anger had long dissipated and now what remained on Nicky's face was a solemn frown. It wasn't one bit fair what all her girlfriend had been put through. As if she hadn't enough to deal with—having her father's demented demand for her liver, stuck with a foster family who clearly were fucking blinder than bats, and still barely working through the grief of her mother—Annalisa had to go and cause even more destruction. All of it left a sour taste in Nicky's mouth. Lorna was the last person who deserved to be going through so much shit. A sigh escaped her and she bit down on her tongue—her craving for heroin gradually flourished to the surface. Hell even a cigarette would suffice, she thought.
With a deep inhale, Nicky pushed the thoughts and cravings aside and brought her awareness back onto the rather shaky brunette in her arms. The shakiness immediately caused her arms to tighten around her waist. She bent her head so that her lips were easily able to press warmly against the flesh of Lorna's forehead. "I'm sorry, doll," her voice warmly murmured along the skin of the forehead her mouth still rested atop of. Fingers combed soothingly through the dark strands of hair cascading from her head. "I'm so, so sorry my doll." She slowly began rocking the two of them back and forth in the seat they resided.
Lorna squinted her eyes at the apology; she looked directly into her eyes and felt a frown mold onto her face. She swallowed hard, trying to stop herself from shaking so much which she knew was only causing more stress to the girl whose arms were around her. "What are ya sorry about, hon? It ain't your fault I'm such an easy target. I'm okay, I'll live. Please don't worry so much for me, Nicky," the words came softly from her mouth while her arms encircled around Nicky's shoulders.
"Yeah, well, maybe if I'd of been there that fucking Annalisa would a never had the chance to hurt you. I coulda stopped her from even trying to stick ya with whatever the fuck she'd used to cut your precious face." The rage boiled back up and inflected through the comments Nicky spoke. She had to stop midway to ease some of it away. She promised Lorna to keep her anger from showing and she damn well planned on at least trying to retain it.
After a slow exhale of air, Nicky decided to continue with what she had previously set out on saying. "You will live but you're not okay. Not even in the slightest. I need you to please stop saying you're okay, yeah? We all can see how ghostly pale ya are, doll. And how fragile you look, you're not okay or fine. No matter how many times ya say you are either of those things isn't going to magically make it true."
"But I am okay, Nicky. I feel okay. I don't know how else to make ya believe me. But shouldn't we be going before we get locked in the building?"
The comment quickly ignited a frustrated breath of air to loudly force its way out of Nicky's throat. Her head shook violently at the words of her girlfriend, which now echoed vastly around her mind. It felt mere impossible to get through to the girl. Teeth grinded harshly against the sides of her mouth, an attempt to keep the madness from modulating into her voice. "No," she shook her head, eyes peering widely ahead at the brunette. "No," she repeated, much louder and with a slight amount of contempt mixed in. "You're not. You're not fucking okay. Repeating it over and over isn't making it any truer, Lorna. Ma and Mrs. Mendoza and me—we're not fucking blind, we can see—clear as fucking day—that you are the absolute opposite of okay. Why can't ya just admit that?"
To Nicky's dismay and Lorna's benefit, the conversation was halted by Red's coming back with a first-aid kit in her possession. She quickly got to work at cleaning up the wound with a cotton swab dabbed in peroxide. The young teen's flinches at each dab tightened a slight knot in her chest though she knew it needed to be done. It only took a couple of minutes before she was covering the cut with a secure layer of gauss and a few pieces of medical-grade tape.
After closing the kit back up, and prior to going to put it away, Mrs. Reznikov gave a firm stare between the two young girls. Eyes shifting from one to the other. "Yes, Lorna, Nicky's right," was what she cautiously started off with. Her gaze moved onto Nicky and she placed a hand onto her shoulder. "But just because you're right, Nicky, doesn't mean you should be pushing Lorna into talking about anything she's not ready to. Now, we're gonna have to finish this conversation later. It's time we get on outta here."
Halfway back to Red and Nicky's house, the decision was made to turn around and drop Lorna off with the Chapman's. After the police fiasco of the early morning earlier, none of them wanted to relive such an unenlightening experience. However, Nicky wasn't entirely fond of that as it meant Lorna got out of continuing their previous conversation. A conversation which desperately needed to be finished. They were still a good ten minutes or so from the house, giving Nicky just enough time to question her girlfriend on whether she could go with her. Even if not to spend the night, at least for the evening so the pair of them could finish their discussion.
Placing a tender hand onto Lorna's shoulder, she waited for her to turn her face in her direction. Once their eyes were on the same level Nicky cupped a hand around a pale cheek and felt a sigh push out of her mouth. "Ya think the Chapmans would be okay if I came over? We need to talk, kid. I'm worried about you. Ma's worried about you." Her thumb delicately caressed around the flesh underneath, drawing comforting circles around it.
Lorna allowed her eyes to become mesmerized by Nicky's and found herself involuntarily nodding her head. Despite not being particularly on board with sharing everything, she knew Nicky needed something to put her worries at ease for a while. At least until she felt ready enough to delve more in depth with the secrets she'd been harboring. Now, however, she shook the pondering thoughts away and cautiously grabbed a hold of one of Nicky's hands. Squeezing it tightly in her own. A sigh came out of her. She wanted to make all of Nicky's worries and fears fade away more than anything. Nicky had the sweetest of souls, she acknowledged that early on, and deserved none of the worry she'd been causing her lately. Albeit it not being intentional.
"Yeah, just come in the house with me. I'll ask if you can stay. I don't see why they would refuse…well, Mrs. Chapman might because I think she hates me. But I don't know, maybe she'll not care."
Carol sucked in a breath and reached for her glass of champagne. Everyone had just sat down for supper—she reluctantly, mostly because her husband had answered before she even could open her mouth, allowed their foster child's friend to join them—and her eyes were heatedly staring over across the table at the very girl. She cleared her throat once she'd set the glass back down, scooping a spoonful of roasted potatoes onto her plate. "So, Lorna, why don't you introduce your friend to us?"
The faint bitterness in Mrs. Chapman's tone hadn't gone without Lorna's ears noticing it. Naturally, she felt her shoulders slightly shudder from the unpleasurable vocal inflection. Her eyes uneasily deterred away from the older woman, landing on the empty plate in front of her. With Nicky occupying the seat next to her, she realized it was in her best interest to put some amount of food onto it. "She's not just my friend, she's, uh, she's my girlfriend. Her name's Nicky," she muttered while using the tongs to grab a heaping of salad mix from the big bowl in the middle of the table.
"Hmm, girlfriend?" Mrs. Chapman quirked an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two teens. She brought her champagne up for another drawn out sip and swallowed. "Does that mean you two are," her head moved a slight amount closer to the brunette, hand cupping around her mouth as if to keep her voice at a whisper level, "lesbians?"
Perking up at the topic of the conversation, Cal lifted his head to look at his mother. A chuckle escaped him as he tilted his head in Piper's direction, who'd sat on the other side of him. "Lesbian? Ya mean like Pipes over here was?"
Carol shook her head profusely at her son's statement, nearly sputtering up the bubbling liquid that had just gone down her throat. The glass was merely slammed down on the table afterwards and her blue eyes glared rather darkly at the blond teenager. "Piper is not a lesbian, Cal. She has a boyfriend. A very nice boyfriend at that," she spoke through gritted teeth. Her hand clutched around her fork and she used it to pluck a couple of the potatoes from her plate onto it.
Eyebrows waggling over his eyes, Cal gave a shrug and took a sip of his water. "Was. She was a lesbian."
"I was not a lesbian," Piper entered the conversation with clarification. She swallowed a bite of salad, focusing her eyes on the plate in front of her. Maybe lesbian wasn't the accurate descriptor for her but she also realized she wasn't quite as straight as her parents thought her to be. Air exhaled from her mouth, she stabbed a few pieces of lettuce with her fork and mumbled, "Had a boyfriend."
The revelation was sufficient to cause Carol's eyes to squeeze tightly shut. A distasteful frown melded onto her face. When she reopened her eyes, a moment later, she shifted them right back onto her daughter. An irritated expression now sitting upon her face. "Larry broke up with you?" In her mind that was exactly what Mrs. Chapman had hoped because if it was the other way around, she shook her head unable to finish her thought.
"I broke up with him, mom. Anyway isn't this conversation supposed to be about Lorna and her guest?"
Mrs. Chapman waved a hand at her daughter, "Yeah, nice try. You and I will talk about the breakup later. I can't believe you would leave a sweet guy like Larry. God damn it, Piper." Another head shake was given along with a sigh. She gradually shifted her attention back over to the foster child and the redhead beside her. An unreadable mien etched onto her face the longer she stared. "So the two of you are girlfriends? Lesbian type girlfriends?"
The two teens turned towards each other, sharing a silent stare, and then nodded their heads in synchronicity as a response to the query.
Carol gave a slow nod and bit uncomfortably down on her bottom lip. "Interesting," her voice not significantly louder than a whisper. Clasping her hands together, after a couple of quiet moments passed, she brought her focus onto the events of last night. Eyes immediately pierced strongly into Lorna's. "Care to enlighten Bill and I as to why you never came home last night? You didn't even give us a call to let us know where you were."
"Erm, uh, I was at Nicky's house. I, uh, just some family things happened and Nicky and her ma—they, um, offered for me to spend the night is all—"
"Hmm, is that so? Did you ask for mine or Bill's permission? No, you didn't. You never called to even let us know what was going on. No, instead you went and had a sleepover with your lesbian girlfriend while Bill and I sat here until the wee hours of the night worried something happened to you. Do you have any morals, Lorna?"
Bill, quite noisily, set his fork and knife onto the table as an effort to cease his wife's rant. He waved a hand at her to gain her attention and shook his head once their eyes met. "Stop it, Carol. I'm sure Lorna didn't purposely forget to call us. She said she had a family matter come up—she probably wanted to stay the night with someone close to her. It's not a big deal." His eyes shifted onto Lorna, an apologetic gleam emanating from them. "Just next time, please call. It's okay that you stayed over her house, but please remember to let us know where you're at in the future."
Once dinner had finished, the two teens rapidly retreated up the stairs to Lorna's room—or as Mrs. Chapman referred to it, the room that Lorna was staying in. Immediately upon their arrival, once the door had been closed, the brunette fell backwards against the mattress and patted both of her hands over her stomach. She could easily feel the weight of the food sloshing about from the extension of her gut. A sigh escaped her and she turned her head so that her eyes were gazing up at Nicky.
Feeling the heat from her girlfriend's stare, Nicky returned it quickly and took note of how her hands were covering over her abdomen. A breath of air escaped her lungs while an uneasiness slowly loomed over her. She took the few steps along to the bed, plopping down right beside the shorter girl. Arms, without hesitation, innately found their way around Lorna's petite frame. "The Chapmans sure are unique, huh kid? I didn't know I'd get dinner and a show tonight," she murmured, breath warmly trickling over the ear she spoke into. A chuckle bounced from her lips and a hand brushed its way through thick strands of Lorna's dark waves.
Nicky's chuckle and comment effortlessly caused one to come through Lorna's windpipe as well. Her arms were wrapped softly around Nicky's neck and shoulders. "They're real dysfunctional, I think. But it's not like a toxic kind—well, not like ya know what I'm used to."
The comment, despite being of a highly melancholic nature, gave Nicky a bout of hope. Hope that Lorna was starting to accept the truth of the matter. The truth of all that she'd been through. "Ya mean being abusive?" She questioned in a rather gritted voice from how intense her teeth were grinding together. When the other gave a meek nod, Nicky mirrored the movement with one of her own and huffed out a breath. "Thank god they're not like that. You've had enough abuse puttin' up with your asshat of a father for however long it's been. How long has it been, kid? I don't remember you ever saying," her eyes squinted curiously as they peered thoughtfully into the brunette's.
Pushing herself up to a sitting position, Lorna rested her chin on her knees and turned her head just enough to be able to retain her stare on her girlfriend. She swallowed a large gob of saliva and shifted from the uncomfortable aura that now materialized through the room. "Can we not talk about this now, hon? I don't…I just don't have the energy to answer questions about my dad or anything that requires me to think right now. I'm sorry. I-I'm not tryna hurt ya, Nicky, I just, it's real hard."
It was hardly a challenge for her to pick up on the clear exhaustion not just inflected through Lorna's voice but also on her face the longer her eyes lingered on it. Nicky sighed and reached her hands to tenderly frame around each one of the other's cheeks. Fingers stroked delicately up and down the length of each, leaving microscopic goosebumps in their wake. "It's okay, kid. Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. I know I can be a little—or maybe a lot—pushy sometimes but it's just because I love and care about ya so damn much. But we'll save this conversation for your therapy appointment tomorrow, yeah? At least maybe the therapist can help us navigate it better. I just want you to get better. I hate seeing you struggle so much, baby, it's not fair."
Albeit how drained and mentally fatigued she currently felt, Lorna formed a small smile on her face while nodding her head. Her arms found their way back around Nicky's shoulders and she bent down to press a gentle kiss atop her forehead. "No, hon, ya don't gotta be sorry neither. I appreciate all ya do for me, beyond words I can think to say. I'll do my best to share things with ya more but yeah, uh, I think it'll be a little easier to do that in therapy." A pause was taken in order for a few breaths to be inhaled and exhaled. After, she pressed one final kiss to Nicky's forehead and then situated herself so that she was lying right beside her. "I love you, my angel," the words came through a hushed yet loving voice.