Chapter Sixty-Two
Midnight nearing, the two teens were halfway asleep on the bed in the room Lorna's foster family had given her when her brown eyes popped wide open and her hands shook Nicky by the shoulders in a profuse manner. The room was merely pitched black aside from the little bit of light coming from the moon shining through the side window back by the horizontal length dresser. But despite the darkness surrounding the two of them, Lorna's eyes quickly adjusted and retained their wide gaze down on the redhead beneath her.
Sensing her lover's eyes watching over her, Nicky moved both of her fists to her own and rubbed the sleep out of them as best she could. With slightly clearer vision she searched Lorna's face precisely, taking note of how wide and almost frantic her eyes appeared. Concern slowly crept up to her. Lorna's hands were rapidly felt on her shoulders and, now that Nicky was a little more awake, she mirrored the gesture by placing hers on Lorna's. They both stared intensely at each other; hands framing around one another's cheeks in the tenderest of touches.
Nicky leaned closer and rested her forehead against the other girl's, moving her hand up to lovingly push back loose strands of brown hair that seemed to be trying to cover her brown irises. The franticness she observed instinctively aided in her decision to brush her lips lovingly overtop the nearly unnoticeable trembling ones of her girlfriend's. If it were anyone else, the tremor of her lips would likely be ignored but Nicky did no such thing when it came to her Lorna. Her Lorna who she loved beyond any earthly explanation.
"Nicky?" The younger teen's voice called out in a hushed whisper. She cupped her hands around her eyes, squinting as she peered right at the person she was calling out for. "Are you awake, hon?" Lorna asked even though she was able to clearly see the redhead staring directly back at her. Her eyes may have registered the answer but her brain hadn't quite yet. Her brain still half frozen from merely falling asleep only moments earlier.
Scrunching her face somewhat, Nicky held her gaze fiercely and stroked the tips of her fingers delicately around the flesh of her cheek. The question seemed out of place and brought forth a small, albeit warm, chuckle out of her. "Am I awake? Would I be staring at you right now if I was sleeping, doll?"
A light laugh came through Lorna's throat as well and her arms encircled around Nicky's neck, pressing her face into the crook of it. "My brain isn't awake, hon. I just," the laugh and light-hearted sensation now replaced with the same franticness from earlier. There lied a pang in her chest. A pang that she couldn't comprehend the cause of. It felt as if a couple of elephants had been taking turns stomping overtop of her. Suddenly breathing appeared to be quite the chore.
Breath caught for a second in Nicky's throat when she took note of the other's abrupt change in behavior and how she was seeming to struggle just to get air into her lungs. Not hesitating even a minute longer Nicky took Lorna securely into her arms, naturally pressing their bodies together to bring her some sort of easement. Some release of whatever may have been tensing her up right then and there. "Hey," her voice murmured a few inches away from Lorna's ear. "Hey," she repeated softer, stroking gentle circles around the cheek her hand rested against. "What's the matter, kid? What's wrong? Talk to me."
"I," even just speaking a simple word took the wind right out of her. A sensation that Lorna had no understanding of. She couldn't figure out what was making breathing and talking and now even thinking such a challenging thing to do. Her arms released from where they wrapped around Nicky's neck so that she could use her hands to grab urgently onto the collar of her t-shirt. "I, I can't," she tried again to relay what she wanted to say but that proved to be not any easier than the first time.
The adamant struggle was hard for Nicky to watch. Bottom lip sucked inward to halt the frown that was so innately longing to form. Both of her hands were brought up to cup delicately around her girlfriend's quivering face. Quivering from the incessant tremoring of her lips, which appeared to be rather fierce to have the ability of causing even her cheeks to shake. She brought her hand up to where the bandaged cut was and caressed lightly around the surrounding area.
"It's okay, Lorna. Why don't we just try to go to sleep, yeah? We'll talk about whatever is making ya feel this way with your therapist tomorrow. For now, I think it's best we just lie down," Nicky softly suggested, slowly laying back against the mattress and pulling Lorna to rest on top of her. Arms wrapped around her body, one hand reached for the comforter which she pulled up to cover the both of them. Lips made their way onto her head pressing down on it a warm and tender kiss.
She felt Lorna's body very faintly flinch against her own and quickly her arms tightened around her. Chin resting on the tip of Lorna's head, one hand combing over and over through her thick brown waves. Concern intensified vastly with each passing second. Lorna's behavior was certainly not the most pleasant to witness. In fact, it formed a huge knot in the pit of her stomach to watch and not have any understanding of why it was occurring in the first place. The more Nicky's thoughts pondered on it the more puzzled she felt. She couldn't quite conclude what possibly could have triggered such a reaction from her, especially randomly in the wee hours of the night.
Regardless of the unknown, Nicky kept her secure hold on the blatantly distraught brunette and slowly rocked them side-to-side. Her chin remained over Lorna's head, keep it safely tucked underneath. A sigh made its way from her larynx. There was way too much going on in Lorna's life right now, she uneasily acknowledged, too much for any person to be able to handle all at one time. Let alone for a young teen girl like Lorna. She shook her head sadly—no wonder she was so upset right now; it was clear to Nicky this was all a product of her being excruciatingly overwhelmed. And who wouldn't be having to deal with the foster system, an abusive dad hounding her for an organ and a fucking abusive school partner who found joy in picking on her? That was enough to make even a grown adult effortlessly crumble to the floor.
Almost as quickly as she was scooped into her girlfriend's arms, Lorna jolted right back up and stared straight ahead at the mirror behind the vertically positioned dresser facing the foot of the bed they were lying atop of. "I, I, everything—I can't, I can't…I can't, Nicky. I can't. I can't," her voice cried out, tears threatening to spill from her eyes at any given second. The more she repeated the phrase the more chant-like it felt to her. Her brain was fatigued. Yet, sleep would not come to her. Thoughts whirled loudly through her head making sleep near impossible. And she hated herself for making Nicky suffer through the insomnia with her. Nicky did way too much for her already, she knew, and she loathed being the culprit of it. She wanted to be there for Nicky, too, wanted to be open with her but everything was way too intense for her to have the strength to do that right now. Which only added to the strong bouts of self-loathing. The unrelenting guilt. And all those two things had done was continue the vicious cycle of her starving herself. Hoping the longer she starved the less she'd be able to feel. She didn't want to feel anything anymore. Because right now she felt everything all at once in the fiercest of ways.
"Come here," Nicky warmly called out, big eyes gazing softly up at the other. Arms opened for her, hands waved gesturing for her to lay in them. She patted her chest as if giving wordless permission for her to lie down once more with her. When Lorna shook her head and refused to budge even an inch, Nicky sighed and tilted her head. "Come here, please," she repeated, her stare only growing sharper. Arms remained open, waiting for Lorna to finally fall into them. It was rather obvious how much the girl needed her affection even if she tried to refuse it. "Lay back down. Come on; you're exhausted, sweetheart. You need to sleep. You can't talk because you're so worn out. Please come here. Come lay with me, kid. We'll talk about everything tomorrow at your appointment when you've had sleep."
Guilt rose each time Nicky spoke so lovingly to her. The tears fell without being able to be stopped and Lorna looked down in defeat of herself. Why did she have to be so damn weak? So damn Lorna? Why couldn't she be like Nicky or even that tater-tot girl from that stupid party? Anyone was better than herself, she thought. She swallowed down the hundreds of questions running amuck and lifted her back up to return the older teen's stare. "I – there's – I, there's, my mind—it won't stop. My, my chest—I can't, it all hurts. It hurts, Nicky. I don't know what to do. What, what do I do, Nicky?" Eyes peered anxiously across at her, almost begging for her to give her direction. She felt so lost, so out of control. Everything was too much. Too goddamn much.
"You wanna know what to do?" The query came out through a gentle voice.
Lorna nodded piteously.
It took several breaths from Nicky's throat before she was able to slow them back to a more natural rhythm. The pain lurking from the teary brown eyes of her lover ripped fiercely at her heart. She swallowed thickly and carefully sat up right behind Lorna. Her head leaned closer to the brunette's and she placed her lips mere centimeters from her ear. "Let me comfort you, Lorna," she lovingly spoke into the ear her mouth was hovering over, using her thumb to tuck a loose piece of hair behind it.
She took Lorna's face into her hands and cradled it directly in front of her own. Looking her softly, affectionately, over as she stroked fingertips along the outline of her cheek. "You've been suffering through everything on your own for way too long, kid. It's time you let yourself be taken care of and comforted the way you deserve. I promise laying down with me will be much better for ya than just sitting here in silent misery. I know that's what you're used to doing but we need to change that, yeah? Come on, babe, let's get back under the blankets and snuggled up like we were."
The offer was tempting. Oh hell was it tempting. There wasn't anything else Lorna craved more in that moment than to lay in bed with her girlfriend, snuggled in each other's arms. The one place where she felt the utmost love and compassion, the securest of safety. And if it weren't for the intense amount of guilt or the nonstop self-loathing, Lorna would have given in without a single ounce of hesitation. However, despite Nicky's encouraging words, she knew she wasn't deserving of any such affection. She wasn't good enough to deserve it. She was damaged property. Damaged goods that should be discarded upon receival.
A long breath was drawn in through her mouth. Despite the obsessive overthinking and desire to appease her self-hating part, Lorna was too drained to not resist any longer. She let herself gradually lay back into Nicky's patiently awaiting arms and naturally felt her head nuzzling its way in the crook of her neck. Her eyes closed shut and a sigh expelled out. "I—you're my safe place," the words muttered softly into the flesh of the neck her face was cuddled against.
Nicky wrapped one arm around Lorna's waist and the other around her head, holding it tenderly onto her chest and neck. She felt her heart slightly bust from the comment that had just been uttered to her. Fingers raked softly, repetitively, through Lorna's thick dark waves of hair while she stroked her lips on the top of her head. "You will always be safe here with me, Lorna. Forever and always. I love you so much. All I want is to protect you; to take care of you, baby. I just wish you would let me more."
Swallowing the gathered amount of saliva at the very bottom of her tongue, the brunette scooted herself even closer to the girl beneath her and gently placed her lips on the nape of her neck. Tears now sat at the edge of her eyelids, threatening to spill out at any given moment. She held them in for a few minutes before they were too much and poured out without even a warning. Her hands held lovingly around each cheek of Nicky's, palms caressing slowly up and down them. As their eyes melded into one, Lorna couldn't resist the emotions that whirled through her. Nicky truly was the most angelic person she'd ever met.
"And I just wish ya didn't worry all the time or stress so much because a me, hon," her voice murmured softly, breathing trickling onto the face of her lover underneath her. Because of their current positioning, their mouths were only mere inches from touching making their breaths easily sensible to each teen. Both were left feeling warm from the trickling breath. Lorna moved her mouth a few spots to the left just enough to collide it with Nicky's in a soft, gentle, peck.
"Babe," Nicky murmured back, lips still hovering on Lorna's. Her hand cradled around the back of her head while her big brown eyes peered affectionately into those of her girlfriend's. The closeness was craved vivaciously by her body; she brought Lorna's face as close to her own as she possibly could and let her lips lightly reconnect with hers. Once they fell apart, she sighed and moved one of her hands over to cup around a porcelain-toned cheek.
The long her eyes lingered on Lorna's the faster her heart thumped. A few strands of brown hair fell over the flesh of her forehead and Nicky quickly stroked them away with her thumb. "I only worry and stress because you mean so much to me, doll. I don't ever want there to be a chance of losing you. Look, kid, I ain't one a those cheesy romantics like," she poked her thumb lovingly on the skin of the middle of Lorna's forehead with a light-hearted smirk on her face, "well like you are. But I'd be a liar if I said there wasn't this insanely intense feeling I have about you. Because there is. I don't really know what to call it but I just know if anything ever happened to you, Lorna, I'd have a real hard time going on with my life."
The tears that had already formed only continued to run down the length of both of her cheeks. How did she ever do anything to be so lucky to have an angel like Nicky as her girlfriend? Though everything else in her life was going to shit right now, Nicky was the shining light at the end of the deeply dark tunnel she currently felt trapped in. Despite her sense of inadequacy, Lorna was overly grateful that somehow she was graced with a girlfriend as loving and warm-hearted as Nicky.
With a hand framed lovingly around one of the older girl's cheeks, Lorna peered intensely into her eyes. Her face slowly inched closer until their foreheads were touching. Lips were next to glide together, gradually and sweetly. Lorna released the kiss before it had the potential to heat up into anything more. However, she retained her gentle grasp on Nicky's cheek along with the stare. "Ya mean like soulmate kinda feelings, Nicky? Cause I got real strong feelings for you, too. Like real real strong." Her voice low, yet warm against Nicky's ear as an index finger was used to delicately curl around a strand of red hair.
Closing her eyes for a second, Nicky couldn't resist the soothing sensation that washed over her from Lorna's soft touches and gentle voice. Lorna truly was the only girl who had the capability of making her feel like a puddle of mush. Who could take her tough exterior and morph it into something rather compassionate. Something softer, gentler. No other girl or even person would ever be able to do what Lorna had. She felt her lips slightly curve upward into a smile.
She opened her eyes and returned Lorna's gaze with a soft one of her own while also covering a hand over the one resting against the flesh of her cheek. "I mean I never believed in all that soulmate shit," Nicky revealed, tucking a piece of Lorna's brown hair behind her ear. She never did even ponder the idea of whether or not soulmates were real. Never cared to wonder if she had one or would even have the chance to meet hers. However, now with Lorna, something in her shifted a bit. Now she did ponder on whether soulmates existed. Whether Lorna was possibly her soulmate.
Lips pressed affectionately over the corner of Lorna's forehead. "But I mean, I don't know now," she murmured, mouth still slightly resting over the same spot. "You make me feel things that the other girls I dated never did. Maybe there are such a thing as soulmates—you're obviously mine if they are real, kid. I love you so much I can't even really explain it. It's so intense the love I have for you, Lorna."
The disclosure instantly reignited the tears to rush down from Lorna's eyes once again. She smiled through them and threw her arms securely around Nicky's shoulders. Face nuzzling up into the crook of her neck as she brushed warm kisses all along. "Well, I've always known soulmates are real. And I used to think mine was gonna be some stupid prince charming—back when I was a dumb kid—but ya know when we meant and stuff and I just…I felt safe with ya since the first time we talked. I don't—I couldn't see myself being with anyone else. I love you, hon. I know ya gotta be my soulmate. Course' Franny would say I'm too young and naïve to say that but I don't care. I know. I know you're mine. I just hope you don't think I sound crazy and weird saying all this now."
Nicky did the only thing she felt was right at the time and inched her face closer until her lips pressed onto Lorna's. Hers glided gently over the lips of her girlfriend's, continuing the movement for several glorious moments before finally releasing the kiss. "I don't think you sound crazy or weird," her voice huskily assured, both hands cradled around either side of her face. Eyes peered softly down at her; fingers lightly stroking around the area her hands were resting against. "I think you're the sweetest person to ever exist. And I just I love ya so fucking much, Lorna. So so much. Now I hope you understand better why I tend to be so harsh when it comes to what you're going through, yeah? It's just because I don't want to ever have to face losing you."
"I—I understand. I wanna be more open with you, hon, but it's not easy. I just—it really takes a lot outta me and I hate it. But I'll try harder to be honest about things. I hate making you feel worried all the time because I don't want anything to happen to you either."
Lips curved downward into a small frown. Nicky pressed one final kiss to the brunette's lips and then gently placed her head back into the crook of her neck, brushing her hands repetitively through her brown waves. "Baby, I know. I know it's exhausting for you, I'm sorry for being so rough on you about it. I shouldn't be. Obviously it doesn't help any when I get frustrated with you and I shouldn't be getting frustrated with you for things ya have no control over, I know that. I guess we'll just have to see what Dr. Poussey has to say tomorrow, yeah?" She let her chin press against the top of Lorna's head while reaching for the comforter to wrap around the pair of them.
Nodding her head gradually against where it lied tucked under the redhead's chin, Lorna nuzzled closer and tightened her arms around her shoulders. A yawn naturally expelling through her mouth. "Dr. Poussey?" She couldn't resist the laugh that came out through her larynx; her head lifted slightly so that she could stare into Nicky's eyes, eyebrows arched curiously.
Nicky mirrored her expression with arched brows of her own, though she gave them a faint waggle. The yawn, however, had not gone unnoticed. She took that as her que to take Lorna's head in her hands once more and placed it right back on her chest, combing her fingers soothingly through her dark hair. "Well, ya said she doesn't like being called Dr. Washington so why not Dr. Poussey, ay?" The giggle she received in response only aided in her arms tightening around Lorna's waist, naturally pulling her closer in the process. Lips dropped a tender kiss to the top of her head. "Okay, I think it's really time we both get to sleep. I'd seen ya yawn earlier, doll, you're clearly exhausted." She pressed a few more kisses to Lorna's head and then nestled the top of her chin onto it. "Goodnight, kid. I love you so so much."
The two were picked up by Franny early the next morning, after quickly throwing themselves together with random clothes and taming their hair with a rapid little brush through. By the time they made it into the parking lot of Lorna's therapists' building, the sun had fully ascended into the sky. Its bright rays of light beaming piercingly on all of them as they made their way from the car to the inside of the facility. It wasn't long until Lorna was called out of the waiting room to the office of her therapist. She turned slightly, looking at both her older sister and Nicky. Hesitation on whether she should allow both or even only one of them to accompany her. The want was there but the fear of what happened the last time repeating itself had been sufficient to halt her.
Poussey, who'd stood halfway between the archway and the waiting room portion, watched the silent battle for a few seconds before deciding on intervening. "Come on, Lorna, why don't the two of us just go back for now and if in a bit you want either of your girlfriend or sister to join us I can have my assistant bring them down? Does that sound good to you?" The query came easily out of her when she realized it was mentally proving to be a challenge for the young girl to make on her own.
She waited until she saw Lorna's head nod in acknowledgment to turn and start leading the two of them back to her office. The walk wasn't more than a couple of minutes. And once they were both inside, she grabbed the knob of the door to pull it shut.
A friendly smile formed on her face when she got back to her desk, sitting down on the leather chair. Her hand gestured over to the adjacent two-seater sofa after she'd noticed Lorna hadn't yet sat down. "Go ahead and have a seat," she gently commanded, pulling out Lorna's chart and the notepad from her last appointment. The second she heard the slight squeaking of the chair was at what time Dr. Washington looked up from the paperwork she had spread out on her desk.
"It's good to see you again, Lorna," she stated, grabbing her coffee which had been sitting on a coaster in front of all the paperwork since she'd come in a half an hour earlier. After taking a few good sips of the lukewarm liquid, her eyes were fixed on her client once more. Her fingers tapped lightly along the handle of the cup she held. "How have things been for you? I know the last time we met it got a little overwhelming for you with both your sister and girlfriend here. Huh?"
Brown eyes instantly found their way onto the traveler's cup in her therapist's hand. Longing for the very liquid contained within its constraints. She opened her mouth and swallowed, wishing it was coffee she had swallowed rather than the air which surrounded the two of them. A few eerily quiet minutes went by before Lorna finally shifted her eyes back on Poussey. Who hadn't stopped looking at her since they sat down. She tried to purse her lips into a smile but was too drained from the early wake up to fully be able to.
"I—is there any way I could have a coffee? Do ya have instant packs or anything?" Dark eyebrows curved ponderously over her eyes as she held her gaze on the woman across from her. Her shoulders bounced upward in a shrug, "Nicky slept over last night and we were up kinda late chatting. Probably not a good idea cause' ya know we got school today but I can sacrifice sleep for her so it's no big deal to me."
The smile on Doctor Washington's face had not faltered; she gave a small nod as a response to the young teen's inquiry and grabbed a container of ground Folger's from a shelf on the side of her desk. It was carefully set down on the surface so that she could retrieve her mini coffee maker from its usual spot on another shelf on the opposite side of the other one. Only a few minutes it took for her to prepare the pot with water and ground coffee. While it brewed, she looked back across the room at Lorna. "Would fresh coffee from a pot suffice for you?"
Lorna nodded quite enthusiastically, a genuine smile easily melding onto her face. Nothing put her in a better mood than coffee—well, maybe, Nicky did but coffee was up there right behind her. "Yes, please. I didn't think ya had all that but fresh coffee is much better than instant. Thank you, Dr. Washing—"
"You can call me Poussey, remember?"
A small nod was given and Poussey mirrored the gesture with one of her own. The coffee stopped dripping into the vessel alerting her it was finished so she grabbed a disposable cup from the pile she had and poured a decent volume of liquid into it. Her head turned enough for her stare to return onto Lorna, "How do you take your coffee? Plain or cream and sugar?"
"Erm, I usually put cream and Splenda. Do ya got Splenda instead of sugar?" She furrowed an eyebrow thoughtfully, fidgeting very faintly in her seat.
Quirking an eyebrow, Poussey expelled out a breath and searched through a few drawers until she came across the very packet of what her client had been requesting of. However, before she released it into the eagerly awaiting hands of the brunette teen, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously on her. Giving a stern look over as she tried to decipher the reasoning behind the question. "Is there a reason you're so particular about using Splenda over regular sugar?"
Lorna bowed her head so that her eyes were no longer seeing the firm ones of her psychologist looking back. The staring made the uneasiness even fiercer, something she hadn't particularly cared for at that point in time. She already felt incredibly anxious and uncomfortable; she certainly didn't need to feel any worse over something she had simple control over.
Her shoulders recoiled up in a shrug and she shifted her eyes onto the tips of her shoes—focusing on how the black of the faux leather on the boots scuffed slightly at the top, most likely from the snow during the winter she presumed. A hand instinctively went up to her head and she used it to push back her hair out of an attempt to calm her nerves. "Splenda tastes better. My mom always had it in her coffee and I just—I like to do what she did, I guess. Is that bad?" She asked, finally returning her stare onto the older woman.
The smile from earlier returning to her face, Dr. Washington shook her head and kindly gave the two yellow packets of sweetener to the girl. She reached for her own coffee and took a long sip. "Did you and your mom get along well?"
Scrunching her face at the query, Lorna quickly emptied the packets into her coffee and then folded her arms defensively over her chest. She sure didn't remember ever mentioning her mother's death to her therapist, she thought rather bitterly. "Why are ya askin' like my mom's suddenly gone or somethin'? Course' me and my mom get along. I love my mom," the words spewed rapidly from her mouth. Anger gradually started to come to the surface. Her hand gripped tightly around the sleeve of her coffee cup, too angry to sip it just yet.
"Well, I email with your school counselor, Lorna. Remember? That's how I plan out your treatment and how to best help you. I do that for all of my younger patients still in school."
Lorna bit down on her tongue, trying to keep the anger from coming out. Yet, the idea of Mrs. Mendoza and Dr. Washington talking about her without her even knowing left a trail of unnerving goosebumps on her skin. It gave her a highly uneasy sensation, she didn't like it. Didn't feel right about it. Was that normal for people to do in the profession? Eyebrows curved over her eyes with wonder. "What does that mean? That doesn't answer my question. You asked if me and my mom got along as if we don't anymore. I don't understand," she cried out, legs fidgeting against the plastic of the chair she set atop of.
"It means Mrs. Mendoza and I have been communicating about you and what you are dealing with right now," the psychologist calmly informed her, watching over the behavior she displayed rather closely. She drew in a deep breath and rummaged through the notepad in front of her, glancing sporadically down at the notes she'd written on it—notes not just from the previous sessions but also from the emails with the school counselor. The sound of the other's legs shifting back and forth hadn't gone by without perception from her ears.
"Isn't that against the law or something?" Lorna placed her untouched cup of coffee down on the table in front of her seat before folding her arms bitterly over her chest once more.
Poussey slightly mirrored her client's position, crossing one leg over the other as well as crossing her arms over her chest. Of course in a manner that was much less defensive and more of a stern gesture—a gesture that showed Lorna she wasn't here to dance around anything. She eyed the coffee cup her client had just placed on the table for a second, then returned her stare onto the teen. "No, Mrs. Mendoza and I work together on many teenage clients who have gone to the same high school you do. We have to collaborate so we can help you the best way possible. But Lorna, you have to help us help you, yeah?"
"Well, what if I don't fucking want help or to be helped? Do I not get a say?"
Holding up both of her hands, the therapist waved them cautiously in Lorna's line of view. Easily taking observation on the escalating frustration in her voice and expressed on her face. "Have you ever heard of the saying that sometimes you might not want something but that something you don't want is what will benefit you in the future?"
Lorna only shook her head and formed an impatient scowl on her face. "Sounds like a saying ya just made up right now," she shrugged her shoulders while moving her eyes to stare at a random spot on the wall to the right of Doctor Washington's head.
An instinctive chuckle came from her throat at the young teen's comment. However, she quickly nudged it away and became serious yet again. Brown eyes peering over her patient sharply. Despite the scowl and the anger, it was obvious the girl was troubled with something deeper. That much Poussey was able to acknowledge without effort. She sighed. "We have a lot of things that need discussed today, Lorna. Why don't we start with what happened to your mom, okay? I need you to tell me the truth. I know she's not away on a business trip or anything like that. What actually happened to her?"