Chapter Three:
Christmas Eve

DECEMBER 24TH, 2006

0730 EST
ROBERTS RESIDENCE
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA

The custody agreement dictated that Renee got Christmas Day and Harm got Christmas Eve, which ironically was what Harm wanted. He had always preferred Christmas Eve as opposed to the actual day of it, anyway. You would think that ,considering it was the day his father went missing, would be a bad day for him, but Harm didn't like to think of it that way. Growing up, he always loved the anticipation of being able to open his presents the next morning to see what Santa had gotten him. Now he got to see his son have that same reaction, which made the holidays even more special than before.

Evan Harmon Peterson-Rabb had just turned three that past June, but he was already, without a doubt, the most incredible person Harm had ever met. Harm had heard before becoming a parent what a special kind of love it was, that it was something indescribable that you could never feel for another person until you had a child.

Quite frankly, whenever Bud or Harriet or his mother would tell him this, in the back of his mind he always thought they were over-exaggerating. Then he held his son for the first time, and everything seemed to click.

Evan had been a c-section baby, which was a good thing because it had been the safest thing for him and Renee. The only downside was that it gave Renee "that god-awful scar" - those had been her words, not Harm's. Renee and Harm weren't even together at the time Evan was born, so Harm never got a chance to actually see the scar or confirm whether or not it was truly god-awful.

Something Harm and Renee didn't take into account when they wanted a quick and easy divorce was that Renee would find out she was pregnant two weeks after they separated, thus blowing their plans to never talk to each other again. Harm wouldn't have it any other way, though - really, he wouldn't.

"Is Evan ready for Santa?" Harriet asked, coming over to sit next to Harm on the sofa. Bud was in the den, watching the kids while they played. Even though Harm, Harriet, and Bud were now significantly outnumbered by their children, they'd discovered from trial and error that if at least one grown-up was supervising, things tended to go wrong less often.

Harm smirked. "I don't know, ask Renee."

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Harriet," Harm assured her. "I helped him write the letter, he's plenty excited."

As much as the nuclear family was ideal, Harm couldn't help but be grateful he and Renee were no longer together - if for one else's sake than the sake of Evan. In Harm's mind, it was better for Evan to be raised by divorced parents than to have to grow up watching Harm and Renee try and get through a marriage together.

"That's good," Harriet smiled. She held a slip of glossy paper out to Harm. "I got Mac's Christmas cards in the mail the other day - here's your copy."

To reduce hassle, or at least that's why Harm supposed she did it, Mac mailed all of the Christmas cards for everyone back at JAG in one bundle. There was always one for Bud and Harriet, one for the Admiral, and there was always, without fail, a third copy for Harm. Even though the two of them scarcely talked anymore, it was touching to know that Mac still thought of him during the holidays. Incredibly bittersweet and somewhat painful, but still touching.

"Thanks Harriet," Harm smiled as he took the card from her. He ignored the generic, "Happy Holidays" greeting on the card's cover and immediately opened it, recognizing Mac's penmanship instantly.

Warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Love, Sarah, Michael, Sophia, & Olivia

As absurd-sounding as the card was in general, Harm was just grateful that it was signed "Sarah & Michael" instead of "Mac & Mic" because he always hated how matchy-matchy the latter combination sounded. Almost like they were made for each other - it made him ill to think about.

But Mac's happy, he had to remind himself, she's happy and that's what matters.

The thing was though, Mac wasn't even "Mac" anymore, at least not any Mac that Harm would recognize. From what Harm could gather, she exclusively went by Sarah now. Something that he only used to call her during some of their rare, intimate moments was now something everyone called her. The brief emails she sent congratulating him on his marriage to Renee, giving him condolences on his divorce, and then congratulating him on becoming a father had all been signed "Sarah." It was like she was a completely different person.

Of course she's a different person, Harm told himself, you haven't seen her in five years.

What killed Harm the most about the whole thing wasn't even that he wasn't Mac's husband, or that they never fulfilled their baby deal and he wasn't the father of her children - it was the fact that he never saw her anymore. Back when they were at JAG, they saw each other every day. Harm got to hear about her day, every day.

Now he wanted nothing more than that. He wanted to know about what TV shows she was watching now, what books she was reading, and if she was enjoying her retirement from the Corps. Harm also found it hard to wrap his head around the fact that she was a mother now, partly because he'd never met her children. Mac being halfway across the world left Harm with a lot of questions, but one thing he was certain of was the fact that she was an amazing mother.

Harm picked up the photograph that was tucked inside the card and turned it over. It was a 4x6 photograph of the four of them - The Brumbys - smiling on their front porch swing. Harm tried not to keep too much of his focus on Mic, but he was glad to see that he was starting to get some gray in his hair. It was barely there, only noticeable to someone looking for a flaw to pick at with Mic Brumby, and boy if Harm wasn't that someone.

Mac still looked as beautiful as ever, though. Her hair was much longer, and she looked even more tan than she did in last year's Christmas card, something that pleased Harm to see because he knew how much she loved the sun.

"The girls have gotten so big, haven't they?" Harriet said, pointing to the two little girls in the photograph. The younger one, Olivia, was sitting on Mac's lap and the older one, Sophia, was sitting in between her parents. Both of them looked like their mother, but Harm noticed that Sophia had Mic's hazel eyes as opposed to Mac's warm brown ones, which Olivia has ostensibly inherited.

"I was thinking about inviting them all back here next summer, so we can finally get everyone back together," Harriet said. By the way she said it, it was almost as if she were asking for Harm's permission.

He shrugged. "I'd be fine with that."

Would I though? He asked himself, purposefully leaving that question unanswered.

"But then -" Harriet immediately stopped herself, looking at Harm with wide eyes.

"But then, what?" Harm asked, immediately becoming concerned. His first thought was that of worry, wondering if anything had happened to Mac.

Harriet pursed her lips. "I guess she wouldn't mind if you knew since she already told me."

Harm frowned. "Told you what? Are -"

It was Harm's turn to stop himself mid sentence. His knee-jerk reaction was to ask if Mic and Mac were getting a divorce, something he realized wasn't something he shouldn't sound so excited about.

Harriet smiled, and Harm found himself getting his hopes up. Maybe they actually were getting a divorce-

"Mac called me the other day. She's going to have another baby."

"Oh."

Harm hoped that his disappointment was coming off as surprise. "That's great," he said, somehow finding it in him to spare a smile. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for Mac - he was -he was just worried that she wasn't happy. There was this certain nagging feeling he couldn't shake that she wasn't nearly as happy as the photos he saw painted her as.

0915 EST
RABB RESIDENCE
BURKE, VIRGINIA

After dropping a sleeping Evan off at Renee's townhouse, Harm made the drive back to his home. Thankfully, his wasn't coming home to an empty house that Christmas Eve.

"How was Bud and Harriet's?" Jordan asked from her spot on the sofa, closing her hardcover and sitting it down on the coffee table.

Harm shrugged as he took off his jacket. "It was fine," he walked into the living room and sat down next to Jordan on the sofa. He gave her a charming smile. "It would've been better if you were there, though."

Jordan scoffed and rolled her eyes. "We've been going out for, what? Three weeks? I think that's a little early to introduce me to your family."

"Bud and Harriet have already met you."

"That wasn't what I was talking about," Jordan gave Harm a knowing look. "Don't you think it's a little early for me to meet Evan?"

Sometimes Harm forgot that Jordan was a psychologist, and it was times like these where he was reminded of it. She advised him that he should wait a couple of months before she officially introduced herself to Evan, just so he wouldn't get too attached too soon, especially considering how young he was.

Harm didn't have a problem with this, in fact he agreed with Jordan on the matter. The only problem he found was the fact that he wouldn't be able to keep the relationship a secret from Renee for that long - or at least he doubted he could.

Much to Harm's surprise, he had beaten Renee to getting into a new relationship after the divorce. Her job was demanding, and motherhood was taking up the spare time she would have previously used to date. To be fair though, Harm and Jordan wouldn't be going out if they already hadn't dated each other before.

The two of them had been reunited completely by chance, on the DC metro. Harm had been heading back to Falls Church from the Pentagon, and Jordan had been heading to Reagan. The metro had been crowded that evening, so the only seat left was one right next to Harm.

As soon as she sat down next to him, Harm recognized something about her. It was the hair, probably, but he wasn't really sure. Not wanting to be that creepy guy on the metro, Harm didn't want to ask. But then she turned to him, and he immediately knew exactly who she was, she knew exactly who he was, too. Jordan's eyes lit up.

"Harm?" she'd asked, looking at him as if he were an old friend rather than an ex. Harm supposed it was a testament that time did heal all wounds - most wounds, at least.

That chance encounter had led to a coffee date to 'catch up' which had eventually led to an actual date. And then another, which had led to Jordan Parker spending Christmas Eve at Harm's house. Harm wasn't really sure how things had all ended up this way, but they had. He wasn't upset by the way things were, either.

"Did you take Evan to The Wall?" Jordan asked.

"Yeah," Harm nodded. "We swung by there on the way to Renee's. He was asleep for it, but I like to think it still counted."

"It definitely counted."

In the years since she and Harm lost touch, Jordan had resigned her commission and started working in civilian therapy. When Harm found out what she specialized in, he couldn't help but laugh.

She specialized in family therapy, meaning she saw a lot of children of divorce.

"I got Mac's Christmas card," Harm pulled the card out from where he had gently folded it in his pocket. "Harriet gave it to me."

He passed it to Jordan, along with the photo that came with it. Jordan looked down at the photo, her eyebrows shooting up.

"Wow," she brought the picture closer towards her face to get a better look. "She looks totally different now."

Harm nodded. "I know."

The only other photos of Mac Jordan had seen since she'd last seen Mac in person were a couple of the wedding photos. Those were taken back when Mac still seemed like herself.

"Her hair's so long," Jordan looked up at Harm. "Did she keep it short for the Corps or because she liked it that way?"

"I never asked," Harm answered. "I just assumed she liked it that way."

Jordan moved closer to Harm, closing the gap between them on the sofa. She held the photo out so they could both look at it. "The girls are cute."

"They are…" Harm paused, wondering if he should tell Jordan or not. He felt like he shouldn't, especially since it wasn't even clear whether or not Harm was supposed to know.

But then he figured that it ultimately didn't matter. Mac was half a world away; it would take a while for her secret being out to get back to her.

"You know she's pregnant again," Harm said. "Harriet told me tonight."

Jordan looked up at Harm with wide eyes. "Really? Three kids, huh?"

"Yep."

"That's - wow, that's -"

Harm chuckled. "A lot."

"Yeah."

They'd had the conversation before. Jordan didn't want kids. Apparently the nasty divorce her parents went through when she was in high school (the event that had ultimately led her to the route of family therapy) had turned her off of the idea of really having a family.

"At least she looks happy," Jordan said as she handed the photograph back to Harm. "I never would've pictured her with that Mic guy, but they look happy."

"Yeah," Harm looked down at the photo, at Mac's smiling face. "She does. She's happy."

I'm aware that this is pure filler, but I like to think of it as filler with a purpose. I needed to establish what Harm had been up to, and I found it easier to do it this way than just have Mac explain it all in another inner monologue while walking through her neighborhood. This chapter was originally going to have another scene attached to it, but I decided to save it for a later point in the story. I wanted to keep some air of mystery to the details of what happened between Harm and Mac before she left JAG.

Also I'm sorry for the general inactivity lately, I've been very busy. I'm hoping I'll be able to catch a break sometime soon so I can get back to writing.

Thanks for reading!

-Harper