When Moiraine awoke in the morning, she felt how someone was playing with her hair. The arm of a stranger lay on her stomach, and she felt the warmth of a body beside her. Confused, she opened her tired eyes.

Lan lay beside her. In his fingers, he held a strand of her locks. "Good morning."

"Good…" The rest of her greeting ended in a cough. Light, she had forgotten about her throat.

Immediately, Lan helped her into a sitting position. "I'll get you some water." Before she could stop him, he jumped out of the bed and moved to the table, where a water jar and an empty cup stood.

When she could breathe again, Lan handed her the cup, and she drank in small sips. The Warder stood beside the bed, watching her while waiting to bring her more water. This was the moment when Moiraine realized that he was only wearing his undergarment.

She put the cup down and said calmly with a raspy voice: "Where are your clothes?"

"I took them off for the night. Drink, don't talk."

Another sip, then she felt the cold morning air on her bare arms. How was Lan able to stand as still as a stone, though it was freaking cold, and he had no clothes on?

"Could you please come back under the blanket?"

"I wait for you to finish the cup, so I can get you more water. How does your throat feel today?"

She handed him the cup but didn't let go. Instead, she looked him in the eye. "I don't want more water. Please, join me."

"You do remember that I'm from the Borderlands, right?"

Moiraine sighed. It was early, she was tired, and her throat was killing her. "Please, Lan."

He took the cup out of her hands, placed it on the nightstand, and crawled back under the blanket. When he took her hand, his eyes widened. "Light, Moiraine. I left your side for a minute. How is it possible that your hands are already as cold as ice?"

The woman of the Blue Ajah smiled weakly. "Because it is cold."

Lan's free hand moved over her bare arms and noticed that she was slowly cooling down. "Come here." He pulled her shivering form in his arms, lay down with her, and pulled the blanket back over them.

Contently, Moiraine laid her head on his chest, enjoying his warmth, while Lan used the opportunity and gave her hands a little massage to get the warmth back into them. Moiraine didn't stop him. It would have been useless anyway.

When her hands were warm again – and Lan satisfied with the temperature – they lay in silence for a moment before Lan broke it. "You didn't answer my question."

"Which one?"

"How is your throat?"

"Still hurts."

There was silence again, though Lan was thinking about his next words. He didn't want to upset Moiraine, but now that the Dragon was dead, they needed a new plan. For all those years, Lan had known what the plan had been. Find the Dragon Reborn and get him to the Eye of the World so he can defeat the Dark One. Whenever he had thought about it, he had never thought that he would survive the outcome. Or that the Dragon would die shortly after they had found him. Now, the last Malkier felt… lost.

Although she couldn't feel him anymore, Moiraine noticed Lan's anxiety. "What is it?"

"I… What do we do now?"

She understood that he didn't just mean what they would do for the moment. He wanted to know their new plan. A new purpose to get up every morning. But she didn't have the answer. Not yet at least. "I don't know. I… I haven't thought…"

Her eyes fell on her hand, and she lost her thought. Purpose. What was her purpose now? She had lost her connection to the One Power. She couldn't channel anymore. Now, she was a simple woman with no power. What was her purpose?

She moved her fingers and tried to feel the One Power. It was there. She knew it. But all she could feel was air.

Gently, Lan's fingers touched her hand and pressed it down on his chest. He knew her too well. "How about we start with something simple? What do we do today?"

"Can't we just stay in here?"

Lan chuckled and kissed her forehead. "As much as I would love that, I don't think that we can. It won't take long until someone comes looking for us."

"Nynaeve."

"Not just her. Ingtar and Uno know that you are back too. And Ingtar said that Agelmar is badly injured. They will ask you to heal him."

Moiraine stiffened. She couldn't heal anyone. Not anymore. What would they do when they would find out about her condition? Would they throw her out?

"I have an idea. Do you wanna hear it?"

"Will I like it?"

Lan hesitated. "A part of it."

"Does it involve Nynaeve?"

Lan didn't answer, but he didn't need to. Moiraine already knew the answer. "What is your plan?"

The Warder released a relieved sigh. This was a difficult and sensitive subject, and it was up to Moiraine, who she wanted to tell about her condition. But nonetheless, they needed to tell someone. The people would come for her to ask for her help. Help she couldn't provide anymore. "We both know that everyone will ask you to heal them. For a few days, we could tell them that you are still too exhausted to help them, but then they will get suspicious. Being exhausted has never stopped you from helping, and Ingtar and Uno know that."

"I'm still waiting for the part where I have to deal with Wisdom."

"The Emond's Fielder will find out one way or the other. They will ask you more questions about Rand and what had happened at the Eye of the World. So, I suggest we tell them about your condition."

Moiraine was thankful that he was careful with his words when he tried to describe that she couldn't channel anymore. "And how does that keep Ingtar and Uno from asking for my help?"

"I know that all of this isn't easy for you, Moiraine. But what if you would teach Nynaeve and Egwene and show them how to heal someone?"

Teaching the girls how to use the One Power. It was a good plan. Back in her days as an Acceptance, Moiraine had taught Novices how to use the One Power. But this was such a long time ago. And then there was Nynaeve. The young woman would never agree to learn anything from Moiraine. What would she do when she would know about Moiraine's secret? When she would find out that Moiraine wasn't a threat to her anymore?

Lan waited calmly, his hand rubbing gently soothing circles on her back. He knew better than to push her with a decision.

Finally, the Aes Sedai lifted her head and looked at him with sad eyes. "I don't assume that there is another solution, right?"

The Warder thought about it for a moment then he took one of her locks between his fingers. "Well… there is still the possibility to grab our stuff and leave Fal Dara."

A light chuckle escaped Moiraine's lips and a single tear rolled down her cheek, which she tried to hide from Lan. "You would never leave the Wisdom here."

"I wouldn't like it.", Lan agreed seriously, while he wiped away the tear with his thumb. "But I would do it if that's what you want."

For a moment, she opened her mouth, and Lan was sure that she would ask him to leave this place with her. But then he saw how she surrendered. She closed her eyes, and her body lost its tension.

"We can't do that.", she whispered "You have friends here. You can't abandon them. Not for me."

Smiling, Lan pulled her close and kissed her hair. His Aes Sedai was a lot of things, and sometimes even he wanted to strangle her, but she was always looking out for him.

Moiraine snuggled up closer against Lan. She would deal with the Emond's Fielder, but for the moment, she wanted to enjoy her last moments of peace with Lan.

Way too soon, Moiraine and Lan left the bed and started searching for the Emond's Fielder. Meanwhile, they heard snippets about what had happened when they passed rooms filled with soldiers. Sadly, no one was able to tell them the full story.

After what felt like hours, they found Nynaeve and Egwene alone in front of the fireplace sitting across from each other. Both were quietly eating some bread, while they were staring at the flames, both lost in their own thoughts.

It was Nynaeve, who noticed Moiraine first. Her eyes narrowed angrily at the Aes Sedai, and she threw her piece of bread back on the plate in front of her.

"You are awake." Her voice sounded cold and dismissive. "What do you want?"

Egwene's gaze moved to the Aes Sedai. Her eyes were red as if she had cried throughout the night. She was in pain, but when she looked at Moiraine there was hate as well. Moiraine thought about saying something. She liked Egwene and had never wanted to hurt her. But she couldn't change the situation. Rand had made his decision. He wouldn't come back. Egwene had to forget him.

Lan pulled a chair to the two women so that Moiraine could sit down. "Do you mind if we join you?"

"Actually…", Nynaeve began but was interrupted by the Warder.

"Thank you."

The Wisdom looked as if she was ready to kill him. Her anger wasn't focused on the Aes Sedai. In her opinion, Lan, who had promised to bring back Rand as well, was now not better than his bonded woman.

As soon as Moiraine sat – Lan kept standing behind his Aes Sedai – Nynaeve leaned forward. Yesterday, the news had hurt too much to ask more questions, and Moiraine had looked as if she would lose consciousness any second. During the night – while she had tried to comfort a devastating Egwene – all those questions had appeared, and she wouldn't leave until this woman had told her everything.

"I have questions and I want answers. True and honest answers. No Aes Sedai word game. No vague description. The truth."

Lan shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like when people talked to Moiraine like that. But he also knew that Nynaeve wouldn't listen anymore if he would protect his Aes Sedai now. So, he bit his tongue, though he tried to tell the young woman with his eyes to be careful.

Nynaeve didn't even look at him. "What exactly happened at the Eye of the World?"

"I don't know."

That was the wrong answer. Nynaeve's face turned red and her hands grabbed the bench so hard that the wood made a protesting sound. For a moment, Lan wondered if she could actually break the bench.

Luckily, Moiraine noticed too that she should keep talking to calm the young woman. "It's the truth. I would like to answer your question, but I can't tell you what happened when I didn't see it."

Nynaeve furrowed her forehead in confusion, and her face lost its red color. It was Egwene, who asked: "What do you mean with 'you didn't see'?"

Sighing, Moiraine turned her attention to Rand's girlfriend, who was still angry, but her curiosity was stronger. "The Dragon and I…"

"Rand." Surprised, Moiraine stopped when Egwene interrupted her harshly. Her eyes glowed angrily. "His name is Rand."

"I apologize. Rand and I reached the Eye of the World, and he told me that he would remember the place from his previous life. He remembered how he had fought against the Dark One. And then, all of the sudden, he collapsed. I tried to wake him, but nothing worked. Then the Dark One appeared and he…" Moiraine stopped, while she searched for the right words. She couldn't say it. Not yet. They wanted to hear about Rand, and not what had happened to her.

Lan brought her a cup of water, which she took thankfully. She took a few gulps before she continued with her story: "The Dark One found it very… amusing that I was left in the dark. You must know that women can't see when men channel and vice versa. We can't see Saidin. And the Dark One… I don't what he did with Rand, but apparently, he was able to talk to him while he was unconscious."

When Moiraine took another gulp, Nynaeve took the time to ask a question: "You couldn't hear what they were saying?"

The Aes Sedai shook her head. "I couldn't, and the Dark One didn't tell me. Actually, he was teasing me that I was so close to them and still didn't know what Rand was doing. When he started to channel, I didn't even know if the Dark One had pulled him to his side or if he was fighting against him."

"Rand would never listen to the Dark One.", Egwene said angrily.

Moiraine smiled at her sadly and nodded. "I know that now."

"So, he defeated the Dark One?"

"He defeated… something. Right now, I'm not sure what or who his opponent was. Nor do I know if this was just the beginning of many fights or the end."

The two women tried to process Moiraine's words, while the Aes Sedai drank more water. All this talking made her throat ache.

"Where is Rand now?", Nynaeve asked with tears in her eyes.

Moiraine took another gulp to buy herself some time. She had to choose her words wisely if she didn't want anyone to know the truth. "Rand is… in a place I don't know of."

A sob escaped Egwene's lips, which got Nynaeve's attention. Quickly, she moved over to her friend and pulled her in her arms.

Lan and Moiraine exchanged a glance. Maybe now wasn't a good time to talk about Moiraine's condition. They should give the women some time to process what had happened.

Of course, Nynaeve saw the silent exchange between the two. "What aren't you telling us?" Her voice was sharp. She didn't want any more secrets.

Moiraine took a deep breath, then she turned her head back to the two younger women, though she didn't make eye contact. Her eyes laid on the golden serpent ring, which was still on her left hand. "Something else happened at the Eye. The Dark One, he…" Light, it was so hard to say it. She moved her fingers carefully. Maybe she had been too exhausted to channel. Maybe if she concentrated hard enough... but she couldn't feel anything. No, this was reality.

Lan saw what she was doing. How she was torturing herself by trying to channel. Gently, he placed his hand on her shoulder. No matter how often she would try her luck, the result would be the same.

Tears built up in her eyes, so she closed them quickly. It was one thing to cry in front of Lan. He was her Warder. Her friend and confidant. But in front of these young women? Not a chance. "I can't channel anymore."

Nynaeve's and Egwene's eyes widened in shock. The Wisdom even searched Lan's eyes for confirmation, who gave her a short nod.

"How did that happen?"

"The Dark One.", Moiraine answered briefly.

Nynaeve couldn't believe it. "So, he did what you and your sisters did to… Wait." Suddenly, the Wisdom realized what kind of consequences this had. "When you can't channel, then you can't heal anyone anymore."

"That's right."

"But… Lord Agelmar! He was wounded during the fight with the Trollocs. I keep him alive for now, but without an Aes Sedai healing him… he won't survive!"

Moiraine and Lan looked at each other again. This wasn't good. "Enough with these nonverbal communications!" Nynaeve was angry. "This is a disaster! The man is dying! His men are waiting for you to heal him!"

"She can't.", Lan said "But we have another solution. A solution, which includes you and Egwene."

Nynaeve narrowed his eyes at the Warder, while Egwene furrowed her forehead in confusion. She didn't understand why they needed them. "Nynaeve told you that she can't save his life. We need an Aes Sedai. Or a miracle."

"Moiraine could teach you how to heal others."

"No!" This time, Nynaeve jumped to her feet angrily. At the same time, Lan stepped forward and placed himself in front of Moiraine. "I don't want to be an Aes Sedai! I don't want to be like her!"

"You would have to go to the White Tower to become an Aes Sedai, girl. I can teach you the weaves to heal someone, but it won't make you an Aes Sedai. Not yet."

"My answer is 'No'!"

"I have to decline as well.", Egwene said "I don't want to learn anything from you. You took Rand with you without telling anyone of us. And now he is gone. Do you know that he had agreed to become my Warder if I should become an Aes Sedai?"

Moiraine shook her head sadly. "I didn't."

"From the moment, you told me that I could be a powerful Aes Sedai, I wanted to be like you. I wanted to learn how to use this power. But when you took Rand… without giving us a chance to say goodbye or to go with him… I don't want to be like you."

"So, you would rather let a man die?" Lan's voice was as cold as ice. Those children thought they would know everything.

Of course, Nynaeve defended herself. "I would never let anyone die on purpose. But I'm a Wisdom, not an Aes Sedai."

"You can touch the One Power, which means that you can learn. But instead, you let a man die because you let your pride get in the way. Moiraine can't help him. You can."

Angrily, Nynaeve closed her fists as if she wanted to punch Lan in the face. "I was able to touch the One Power. But I can't touch it anymore."

The Wisdom saw how Moiraine furrowed her forehead in confusion. Light, so many things had happened while they had been separated. Sighing, she explained how she and Egwene had helped Lady Amalisa with the Trolloc army and how terribly it had ended. She also told them that she had tried to channel after the soldiers had brought Lord Agelmar to her. How she had tried to use the One Power like she had used it in the cave to save Lan's life. But it hadn't worked.

Moiraine was shocked when she heard what the sister of Lord Agelmar had done and was surprised that Nynaeve and Egwene were still alive.

Suddenly, Egwene spoke again: "Can those weaves only heal humans? Or could we heal other creatures as well?"

"What kind of creature?", Moiraine wanted to know.

Egwene hesitated, then she murmured: "An Ogier?"

"Loial?! He got hurt?"

Egwene nodded. Tiredly, the Aes Sedai rubbed her hand over her face. So many people had been hurt by this army. So many people were in need of an Aes Sedai. Egwene would have to learn quickly if Nynaeve could truly not touch the source anymore.

The next chapter will be uploaded on Wednesday.

Your reviews are always appreciated :D