Chapter 3: The Cone of Silence Lifts

When it was all over, Veronica used her key to get back into the penthouse at the Neptune Grand, since Dick couldn't find his. Most of her buzz had worn off while they were filling out police reports, which was good because it meant she could find the key swipe without squinting one eye closed.

Logan looked up when they came in. "How was the party? However good it was, it could not possibly have topped 200 nerds, creaming their khakis in unison when Mac walked onstage in that dress and opened that mouth." He let out a low whistle, looking smug. "Blew their little techie heads."

Mac took one hand off her controller and flicked him. "Shut up, Logan, it wasn't like that."

"The fuck it wasn't. They even upped our prize money."

"That was for a separate prize!" Her lips twitched against a smile she was trying to wrestle flat, eyes still on the screen. "That we also won."

Logan grunted and tossed aside his controller, which meant Mac had won. It wasn't the full-body howl Dick made when she beat him, but it was a frequent enough occurrence in the hotel suite that Veronica had come to recognize the specific sound. Mac was still in her knockout cocktail dress, but had swiped a pair of Veronica's yoga pants to pull on underneath it.

"What was the name of that prize, Mac?" Logan made a thinking face. "Remind me?"

"Translated from industry speak it's…" The full smile blossomed this time. "Cleanest tech." She gave up on chill, giving a little happy squirm on the couch. "Basically, we kicked ass."

"And we would know. We're ass magnates." Logan held up his beer and she clinked hers to it. He turned to Veronica, and something quick flickered behind his eyes when he took his first real look at her. Could he tell where they'd been? "How was your night, dear?"

"Veronica took me to a swinger's party." Dick jumped onto the couch, swiped Mac's beer.

Logan looked over at Dick. Very precisely.

"No, man, nobody touched her." He quaffed another big gulp of the beer and grabbed a handful of popcorn out of the bowl on the table, spilling a couple pieces onto the floor. "Oh, she did have to shoot one dude, though."

Logan shrugged at this. "What did you think would happen, if you took her to a swinger's party?"

"Mostly? I figured you'd fist my kidneys straight out my back. Wasn't thinking too far past that."

Logan nodded to Mac. "You're probably lucky it wasn't your boyfriend she shot."

It hadn't escaped Veronica's notice that he hadn't looked at her directly since Dick broke the news. She ventured a step closer to the couch.

"For real," Veronica said. "He had to put his hand up my skirt at one point for cover. He was stuck up there so long, he started doing shadow puppets."

"No way!" Mac barked a laugh. Logan did not.

"Bulldog versus duck face," Veronica confirmed.

"Duck face won," Dick informed them. "The beak. You know."

Mac was dying laughing at this point, wheezing a little as she tried to breathe. "The beak!" She patted Dick's face. "I love you."

He brightened, then pointed at Veronica. "See? Honesty. Not so hard, is it?"

"Don't nag, Mom."

She came all the way around the couch so Logan couldn't avoid looking at her anymore. "Should I sign the divorce papers now or later?" she joked, the tension in the room crackling.

Logan's eyes went over her. Once. Very thoroughly. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Always."

He blinked. Finally. "Okay, then." He picked up the video game controller again. Veronica's hands squeezed her purse, her stomach somehow even more of a mess now than before he'd broken the silence between them.

Dick bounded off the couch, tripped over the controller cord, then rebounded in time to drop a heavy arm over her shoulder, squeezing. "You take good care of my bro, hear me? Or Mac and I'll make him our third and you'll be high and dry."

She bristled, giving him an "I'll shoot you, too" look. "Not funny."

"Because you know it's true." Dick side-hugged her, then gobbled more popcorn. "Mac's smoking hot, and she can bust the treasury of Turkey when she gets bored on a slow Sunday."

Mac was hot. Especially in that dress. And they were already business partners. Connecting on an intellectual level Veronica could rarely hope to match, when her hands tended to venture south any time she was in the same room with Logan for longer than a minute. Veronica winced.

"Is that true?" Logan looked over at Mac, a mildly impressed look in his eye that was the equivalent of ten full minutes of gushing, coming from him.

Mac waved him off. "It was one time. And I gave the money right back to Turkey, after."

Veronica decided more direct measures were called for. She slid onto Logan's lap, turned his head toward her. "Hi." Maybe even more drastic measures were required, actually, considering the detached look in his eyes. But as soon as she was in his lap, his hands came up to the small of her back. Smoothing over her and then holding her tight, in that peculiar way he had since the Hearst rapist where she could tell he was reassuring himself that she was still here. Still okay. It was something in how motionless his hands got, just for an instant.

And when she felt it now, she knew two things: 1-He wasn't as unaffected as he was playing it off to be. 2-They were okay. Because he was worried about her, not jealous. Maybe they were finally getting the hang of this relationship thing.

"Missed you." She kissed him softly.

"Not enough to take me to a swinger's party, apparently."

She pulled back, but he didn't look mad. He cocked an eyebrow. "You took Dick? Really?"

She sighed, dragging out the sound for three full breaths. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

Logan looked delighted. Nodded.

She groaned. Penance, she could do. "Fine. I didn't want you to miss your award, because you and Mac earned it. This case is really important, and Dick was the only one I…" She swallowed, then spit it out like the word had been rolled in sweat and socks. "Trusted. To go undercover with me."

Mac gasped. Logan smirked. Then they high-fived.

"Fucking told you. Did I or did I not tell you?" Mac pointed at Logan. "Dick is the most trustworthy person in the planet, once he's on your side."

"Undisputed." Logan held his hands up. "But it's Veronica Mars. You can't blame me for being skeptical. She background checked the Dalai Lama for her last case. Girl has paranoia issues and that's coming from me."

Dick hadn't spoken. Veronica elbowed him, but he didn't restart. He was totally white, his lower lip starting to tremble.

"Uh…" Mac had noticed, as well. "Logan, you know the Heimlich, right?"

"His grandson, actually. Came to one of my dad's premier parties. Why?"

"Not the person, you ridiculous red carpet of a human being. The maneuver. Because I think Dick swallowed his tongue. Is that possible?" Mac grabbed her phone and started to google.

More alarmingly, Dick's eyes were starting to glitter with the hint of moisture.

"Bobcat," Logan murmured. He gave her a nudge to get up off his lap. "You know what you have to do."

"No." She crossed her arms and pouted. "I already shot a man tonight. It's your turn for the short straws."

One fat tear broke loose and wobbled down Dick's cheek. Logan sighed, and boosted Veronica onto the cushion next to him. He went over to Dick and patted his shoulder. "I know, man. It feels fucking big, when it's you and just about nobody else on earth. Heavy."

"She doesn't even trust the Pope," Mac added in disbelief.

"It was the Dalai Lama," Logan corrected.

"No, it was the Pope, too. She had me crack his background all the way back to his grammar school records. When she got hired to trace that statue theft from the Vatican that ended up at a pawn shop in Neptune. Said every case is either the person you suspect the most or the dead last person you'd suspect."

"So who was it?"

"Reformed art thief, invited there to talk about the Big Brother program he started," Veronica said. "Just proves my point."

"You're stalling, Bobcat."

A second tear broke loose from Dick. Logan patted harder. "You gotta man up," he attempted. "You'll get used to it. Veronica caring about you. I mean, she's up to what? Almost five people now! Her Grinch heart has already grown more than its allotted three sizes."

Veronica heaved a sigh. "Cheer up. Nobody's going to want to shag you if you cry all the time." She scooted over and gave Dick a weak hug.

"Love Actually?" His voice cracked. "You quoted my favorite movie! Wait, you know my favorite movie?"

"Love Actually is your favorite movie?" Mac asked. Blinked. "We should—we should really talk about that, honey."

"Co-favorite movie. With Point Break!" Dick sobbed.

"Please stop crying," Veronica said, with a lot more desperation than comfort in her tone. She hugged Dick more. But still not very well.

Logan attempted not to laugh. Out loud, anyway. Veronica sent him a look that clearly threatened the immediate cancelling of all sexual activities. For a very long time. This only made Logan struggle harder not to laugh. And okay, she hadn't been very good at enforcing sexual silent treatments in the past, but she could certainly start now. And she would. Probably tomorrow.

Mac took over the comforting at that point, to everyone's relief. "Here, come lay on my boobs. You always like that!" She had the upbeat tone of a mom trying to distract her toddler from a fit using an animal cracker.

"They're really nice boobs," Dick sobbed. Mac patted his back, and gave Veronica a mildly disappointed look.

"You know, you didn't have to put him through all this. Dick Casablancas is the most trustworthy person in this entire snooty hell-mouth of a town." She cocked her head to the side, considering. "Well, if he says you can trust him, anyway. If he doesn't like you, all bets are off. Anyway, it's not like you're dumb, Bond. You'd have known that. Dick doesn't lie, ever."

The room went silent. Because Dick had stopped crying.

The other three looked at him hopefully, but he actually seemed more miserable than before. He looked at Mac, crestfallen. She frowned, wiping a tear from his cheek. "What? Don't look at me like that, I'm not mad at you."

He turned to Veronica, his eyes already apologizing. She shook her head, eyebrows rocketing up. "No. Absolutely not. That's the worst idea you've ever had, Dick, and that bar is so low even Satan's never gotten far enough south to find it."

"Veronica…" he started, but she was shaking her head too hard to see his expression through the blurring.

"I don't like it," Logan said. "But he's kind of right."

Veronica's shoulders sagged. "You know, I never would have done it if I knew you guys were going to start ganging up on me so often, afterward."

"Done what?" Mac's eyes were shooting back and forth between them. "What exactly would Dick have done that you don't want him to tell me? I already know everything he's ever done, seriously. The FBI would implode trying to prosecute all the crimes I know about that Dick's committed. It's old news, seriously. I know who he is, I love him, and I trust him. I don't know what you guys think he could have possibly done to change—"

She stopped. Logan twirled one finger forward. "Yeah. That."

"No. NO." Mac's eyes bugged. "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS. VERONICA? YOU WOULD NOT." She gaped. Looked to Logan. "And you didn't kill him?"

Logan shrugged. "She wanted to. Plus, I was in on it, so seemed fine to me."

"YOU FUCKED HIM, TOO?" Mac leapt away from her business partner.

Veronica bit her lip. "You weren't together at the time. Actually, you never would have gotten together if it weren't for that, in some ways."

"REALLY? YOU FUCKED MY BOYFRIEND SO SOMEDAY HE COULD ASK ME OUT? THAT'S THE STORY YOU'RE GOING WITH?"

Logan sighed. "Listen, I have an understanding with the hotel about screams coming from this penthouse, but it only extends for one floor. If they can hear you two floors down, we still might get in trouble."

"You did that for me? Aww, honey!" Veronica perked up and patted him on the knee. "What do they tell the people who call to complain?"

"They say the penthouse is taken up by a horror movie director. Very famous. He's just screening his dailies. You know everybody in southern California is a star-fucker, so that pretty much shuts them up."

"DO NOT DEFLECT WHEN I AM SCREAMING AT YOU, VERONICA OLIVIA MARS!"

Veronica wilted a little, a strap of her evening gown slipping off her shoulder. "I'm serious, Mac. I was really horny, I wanted DP and we'd left my toy at the house."

"You wanted…" Mac said faintly. "Never mind, I'm not googling anything until further notice. Possibly my next life."

"Logan said it was just one time," Veronica went on, "there'd be a cone of silence, Dick was into it and…" She gestured. "I definitely never thought I'd have to explain it to another living person. Because it sounds crazy."

"Thanks a lot, Veronica," Dick said.

She gave him a flat look. "Does it not sound crazy?"

"It does sound crazy," he admitted. "But you liked me!"

She sighed. Loudly.

"Admit it. You can admit you t-word me now, so you can admit you liked me then."

She sighed. Much more loudly.

"Two floors," Logan reminded her.

"I liked you more than I thought I was going to," she said to Dick. Under much duress. "Also, you were good in bed, which really weirded me out for a minute."

"I know, right?" Mac waved her hands, momentarily distracted. "The way he talks, you'd think he'd be like an overcaffeinated woodpecker drilling a tree, just clueless…"

"And then when he's not…"

"It's just like…"

They both mimed heads exploding at the same moment.

Dick was grinning, lounging more easily on the couch now. "No, talk more about me in bed. This is great."

Mac glared. "I'm mad at you."

His face fell again. "Oh yeah. Dammit."

Into the silence, Veronica finally said, "Okay, but the big secret's out of the bag now. We had a threesome, big whoop." She waved unenthusiastic jazz hands. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Order pizza?" Logan suggested. "You said you were hungry."

Dick turned to Mac. "Listen, I did have sex with them when I was in love with you. But in my defense, I was pretty much always in love with you, and I had sex with a lot of people. Like, a lot of people. And that one animatronic cyborg at that tech conference."

"You're really not digging your hole deep enough here, boyfriend," Mac said. "You wanna get an animatronic cyborg on the shovel next to you?"

"My point is, it meant nothing." He paused, flicked a glance at Veronica. "Shit, that's not true. It meant—"

Everyone waited.

"Stuff!" Dick burst out. "Important stuff! And things! There were Skittles, and I taught Ronnie about how to take care of Logan, and she sucks a little less at it now, even you have to admit that."

"Up to a C minus," Logan said helpfully. Now Veronica looked crestfallen.

"At the words part," he told her. "In bed, you're an A++."

She looked even sadder.

He slid an arm around her. "I hate words anyway," he said. "Hardly know any of them. I'm a bed guy all the way."

Mac crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Dick. "So now I'm supposed to what? Just try and forget that you've fucked all our best friends? Now every time we work on Grade My Ass, I'm going to remember you've seen Logan's. And Veronica's seen yours. And you—" She gasped. "Wait. Did you do your trick on her? With your tongue all soft?" She went a little green.

Logan had moved into the kitchen and was now on the phone. "Yes, pepperoni. No, no tongue toppings. You just overheard a different conversation. Hey, do you have garlic twists?"

"Uh, I sort of—" Dick grimaced, looked to Logan and squared his shoulders. "Honesty all the way. I learned that trick from Logan, babe."

"DID YOU PRACTICE IT ON VERONICA?" Mac howled.

"No, the kind of garlic twists that are all cheesy, not the kind with butter," Logan said. "Oh, never mind then."

"No, Veronica's never let me go down on her." Dick paused. "I tried to practice on her, the night of my first date with you, but she said no go."

"WHAT?"

"Forty-five minutes, really?" Logan sighed into the phone. "That's too bad. I think we might have a murder over here before we get everybody's blood sugar back up. No, it's not your fault. No, I'll call the police myself, that's fine. Appreciate the customer service. You have yourself a nice night, too." He hung up the phone. "Perhaps not that much honesty, Dick."

Veronica attempted to get in between them. "Look. Mac." She dropped her voice, serious now. "Dick only asked to practice going down on me because he was panicking about being good enough for you. It was really adorable and—"

"YOU FIND MY BOYFRIEND ADORABLE?" Mac shrieked. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HATE MY BOYFRIEND!"

Veronica frowned. "Did you want me to hate your boyfriend?"

"THAT WAS THE UNSPOKEN AGREEMENT!" Mac shrieked some more.

"Look, look—" Dick waved his arms. "We can fix this. We all want to be honest, I love Mac and don't want to bang Veronica and Logan. Anymore, I mean. They want to bang each other. Mac wants to bang me and doesn't want me to bang other people." He gestured some sort of gesture-tornado. "Everybody wants to bang the right person here. So what's the problem? There's gotta be a way to fix this."

"There better be," Veronica said. "Because he really, really loves you, Mac, and he's not going to stop if you break up with him. Which means he'll get really annoying and I'll probably have to shoot him."

"Tell you what," Logan said. "Mac, you can have sex with us. Then it'll be even."