So sorry for the delay, I greatly exaggerated my free time.

Hopefully the length of this chapter will offer some forgiveness.

This fic is officially "updated as written" status instead of daily and I do apologize for that.

Anyway, I know you guys want answers, so here we go :)

~TH~

The drive to the Farm was miserable. He ached. His mind was so screwed up. His psychic abilities had been knocked off line the second he'd passed out. He didn't know if it was his injuries or his grief but he just wanted to sleep. Caleb tended to deal with his grief and any other various emotional problems by either overloading himself with pleasure, or keeping himself too occupied with hunting to process it. But this time… this time he was just tired.

Everything inside of him hurt and he knew it had nothing to do with the crash. Everything that had happened was unthinkable. He had lost more than just Jim, he'd lost Dean in the most painful way. Jim had been taken but dean had left. He left like Sammy but in a much much worse way. It was a grief that Caleb didn't know how to process.

He pulled into the Farm and saw a rental. Clearly his father's. Other than that it all looked so… normal.

Not at all like the person who should most certainly be there wasn't there. Or that he would never be there again. Or like Dean was the one to kill him.

Caleb didn't know which part made his grief most pronounced. The loss of Jim or the loss of Dean.

Was losing someone to themself any worse than losing someone to death?

This was something his best friend could never come back from. Even if there was something supernatural going on, which seemed less and less likely, it would never be the same.

Caleb had watched his dad kill his mom before turning the gun on himself.

The whole situation had been eerily similar.

Him unable to do anything while he loved someone he loved, kill someone else he loved.

It also brought the horrific thought of, if Dean could turn, what hope did he have? If someone has good as Dean, someone who had always been his guiding light, could turn against them, against him. Then how could he, the boy with demon blood, not turn?

Scout greeted him, but apparently sensed his dark mood. Maybe he sensed that Jim was gone. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

As soon as he crossed the threshold to the farmhouse, Mac was there, embracing him.

"It's alright. I promise. It's alright."

Caleb was too tired to cry anymore.

Mac slowly disentangled them, taking Caleb's wrists. They weren't bleeding anymore but they were still swollen. He frowned. Caleb didn't see the big deal. There were many other, much worse things, to deal with.

"Caleb, we're going to go down to the Hunterstomb. There's something you need to see. Then I'm going to tend to your wounds and you're not going to fight me."

The boy nodded and allowed his father to lead the way.

He wasn't prepared for what he saw when the bookshelf gave way to the hidden room. Sitting there, pale and slightly slumped over, but very much alive, was Pastor Jim.

"Jim!" Caleb was over by him in a second, checking his pulse and placing a hand over where the bullet wound had been.

The pastor let him reassure himself. "I'm alright my boy."

"But how?!" His eyes shot up. "I saw you- you died- how?"

"A mixture between modern medicine and some… less traditional methods." Mackland cut in.

Caleb's mouth twitched. "You mean some of Esme's alternatives?"

The doctor nodded. "It's a miracle it worked."

"Come now, Mackland, I'm alright."

"You're still alive, but there could have been any number of complications. You could have had a bad reaction to the drugs or herbs. Dean could have missed. The plating could have not held. They could have noticed the blood was not yours or checked to see that the bullet actually pierced your skin, which it did not. The timing could have been bad and you could have collapsed before the shot even fired. So many things could have gone wrong." His father seemed genuinely distressed about the whole thing. Then his mind backtracked.

"What do you mean Dean could have missed? He was in on this? What exactly is this?"

"Sit down, Caleb." Jim said quietly. Mac took his son's place, giving the pastor a rudimentary check for probably the hundredth time since the whole scheme had been put into effect.

"This group has been planning for quite awhile to take me out of the game." Jim said with a sigh. "I knew this but wasn't worried. I knew and John knew and that's all that really needed to happen. Then Jonathan left and made a mess of things in the process."

Caleb was slightly surprised at the wording. It wasn't often for Jim to say anything against his Triad, whether they deserved it or not.

"Why didn't he tell me? He wanted me to step up while he was away. You should have told me!"

"And what would you have done?"

"I would have taken them out. A threat to the Guardian is a threat to the Brotherhood. And I heard them, they're talking more than just you, they want the whole Triad out of the picture. They want the Brotherhood to fall."

"There lies the problem. There's a traitor in the Brotherhood."

The young Knight felt his blood chill. "Griffin? Harland?"

"I don't believe so. Whoever it is has covered their tracks exceedingly well."

"Then how do you know they aren't just really good at intel?"

Jim gave a tight smile, "Consider it Guardian's intuition."

"Okay, but what does all of this have to do with Dean?"

The pastor's smile faded. "I needed someone who had valid cause to leave the Brotherhood, someone whom I trusted to infiltrate them and find out who their leader is."

"But why Dean? You could just as easily sent me!"

"Son, Dean leaving was only in part an act."

Caleb's heart sped at that. "What does that mean?"

"Dean has been struggling ever since his father left, really since Sam left." Mackland provided.

"Yeah I know that, I've been the one trying to pick up the pieces!"

"He was already considering leaving." Jim continued. "It was more a matter of who he was going after." He sighed, rubbing a hand through his silver hair. "Whether he went after Sam or his father, he wants little to do with the Brotherhood at the moment. He feels betrayed."

"And all that crap about Dean leaving because you laughed off abuse allegations?"

Jim blinked. "This is the first I'm hearing of it. Though, it is a solid cover, especially with these men. Many hunters question the Knights treatment of his children. Rumors have been flying for years."

That made Caleb feel just slightly better. Not that he'd truly believed it. But it had still bothered him on a certain level. He gave a single nod in confirmation. "So you stopped him from leaving?"

"I asked a favor."

"And you knew about this?" He swung on his father. He didn't appreciate being kept in the dark.

Mac shook his head. "I found out earlier today."

"Them taking you changed things. You were never supposed to be involved." Jim sighed.

"That's what Dean said. But I should have been! Why wasn't I at least let in on this little charade? I've been looking for him for months! Other hunters were even starting to talk!"

"I had to protect Dean. Until today, I was the only one to know."

"You don't think I'm the mole!"

"Of course not, Caleb. But your protectiveness of Dean could have caused problems. Everyone had to believe that Dean had truly changed teams. If anyone suspected anything it could cause death to not only him, but spell ruin for the entire Brotherhood."

The shock was wearing off leaving a massive headache. He kneaded his throbbing skull.

"So what exactly was this plan? Because from what I can tell Deuce killed you. And he was pretty shaken up by the whole thing."

"Your involvement complicated things. Originally everything was supposed to have taken place here. Dean would still kill me but the Farm offered more safety nets, the move would be made on our ground not theirs. But when they grabbed you, the timetable changed. I had barely been in contact with Dean, we couldn't risk them overhearing. When he called on your phone I knew that there was trouble. Things had already been set in motion but we had to change a few things. For one, we didn't have as much preparation as I had hoped. Luckily, your father was already here on Triad business. It was all timed. From the moment I was administered the cocktail to make me appear dead, I had five minutes exactly. Dean told me where he would be aiming when he called."

"On the chest, near the heart." Caleb murmured.

Jim nodded, "It had to look like a viable kill shot. I had kevlar plating, a vest would have been too noticeable. The plating was thin enough to slip under my shirt and hopefully stay hidden. He knew to shoot after I said the word 'fairytale'."

"And the blood?"

"Courtesy of a local blood bank." Mackland sighed. "I didn't like the plan but we couldn't risk you or Dean by not going through with it."

"But what purpose does it serve? You can't hide forever."

"No, but anything will get them to believe that Dean has truly turned, it would be him personally killing me. They no longer have reason to hide things from him."

"So they'll take him to their leader."

Jim's lips turned slightly upward. "That is the idea, yes."

"It's dangerous. Dad is right, you could have been killed. Dean could still be killed! What if someone in the Brotherhood hears about this and decides to go out for revenge? Why didn't Dean tell me when he came back to cut me free?"

"I asked him not to tell anyone, not even you."

"But I was already involved. I could have played a part and not be blindsighted!"

"He was following orders. He had no way of knowing that I would share all of this with you now."

"It's not right. None of this is!"

"But it is what has been done." The Guardian's tone had a finality to it. The conversation was over and Caleb would be wise to drop it.

Reaves slumped in his chair. "So what's the plan now?"

Jim pulled out a folded note. "Dean passed this on to me when I was unconscious. After I was killed they were supposed to go to their own castle to meet with their Brotherhood contact. He should be there sometime tonight."

"And we're going in?"

"In forty-eight hours."

"Why so long a wait? If they're meeting with him now, then why can't we grab him?"

"Dean asked for forty-eight hours from the time of my death. Springing it any earlier could cause problems."

"Fine." Caleb still didn't like it. In fact, he hated it. But there was nothing to be done about it now.

Jim patted his leg, "Why don't you get some rest and let your Dad check you over." He stood and slowly made his way out of the tomb, likely headed towards his own bed.

Caleb looked at his dad. Come to think of it, he was surprised Mac hadn't jumped on him the second he'd walked through the door. The doctor had to have noticed that his son had at least a minor concussion.

"Are you okay?" His father finally asked, taking Jim's vacated seat.

Caleb shook his head. "This is all a mess."

"I'm sorry you had to witness that."

He shook his head. "It was like watching all my worst fears manifest in Dean." Going darkside was something he'd always been afraid of. Something he still believed could happen at any moment. And to see Dean jump the fence and even waste Jim? Yeah. Just the nightmare fodder he needed.

"They never wanted you involved. Especially not in that way."

"It's fine. I'll get over it." Eventually.

"They were trying to protect you."

"Yeah well I don't need protecting. I'm supposed to be the protector."

"If it makes you feel any better, John doesn't know either."

"Not really. But thanks." Hopefully the Knight would call first before hearing through the grapevine that his son had killed the Guardian and going after him. That was a mess none of them needed.

"Let me finish patching you up, and then you should get some sleep."

"No drugs. My head's screwed up as it is."

Mac laid a hand on the side of his son's face. "If you need to talk about it-"

"I'm okay, Dad. Let's just get this over with so that I can sleep until it's time to go."

~TH~

Do we feel better at all?

Hopefully?

I'm gonna switch to Dean's POV next chapter.

We're over halfway done now!

I hope to have the next chapter out soonish.

Much love and God bless,

Jamie