Over the weeks following the announcement, Haymitch kept me updated. We took a walk once a week to the Town Square to talk about what he had heard. He never said how he was getting his information, and I never asked.

All I knew is what our end goal was- Keep Peeta and Katniss alive through the games.

How were we going to do that? That was the tricky part.

I wasn't allowed to tell either of them any of the information Haymitch was giving me, in case plans went south. I asked Haymitch why he was telling me when they weren't allowed to know in case their plans fell through.

"Well, I hate to say it, but you're not the face or the voice of the rebellion. If they kill either of us, the cause doesn't die with us. Plus, I promised Katniss I'd try to keep Peeta out of the arena, and if I don't, she'll become suspicious. Which means we need to try and keep one mentor on our team who knows what's going to happen."

"And if I end up in there with you?" I had asked.

"If you want any of us to survive, you won't," he had answered seriously.

And that had been that. I didn't ask questions anymore, because I didn't want to hear the answers.

I hadn't seen Gale since that night, and Posy hadn't been back since then, either. I figured Gale thought I was too unhinged for her to be around me. Maybe he was right.

I was barely sleeping anymore, the only rest I got being when I passed out from exhaustion, and even that was riddled with nightmares. During my waking hours I was too stressed over the thought of going back into the arena or being in charge of our plans to even consider trying to sleep. I still hadn't figured out which alternative was worse. I didn't think I'd ever figure it out.

And when I wasn't catastrophizing, Peeta was working me to the bone with his "training." He had all us victors out there, running laps, doing pushups, sparring. Anything he could think of to get us into shape. Like it would even help.

But the days seemed to pass quicker than they ever had, and soon it was only a few days from the Reaping. I found myself sitting on the floor in a daze, hardly paying attention to my surroundings. I don't know how long Peeta had been sitting next to me, or even when he came in, when he started speaking.

"I want you to know that I won't hold it against you if you don't volunteer for Katniss."

I turned my head sluggishly to look at him. "Are you sure?"

"I know how it feels going through that. I wouldn't wish a second round on anyone, much less my best friend. And to be frank, out of the two of you, Katniss has a better shot at surviving. You got out on sheer luck, Aces- don't look at me like that. You know I'm right. You barely had any kills. Bu- it doesn't matter. I just... I don't want you to volunteer just because you think I'll hate you or something."

I let my head fall against the wall of the island we were leaning against. "Yeah, well, you're not really the one I'm worried about."

Peeta sighed. "Gale... Is kind of a piece of work, by the sound of things."

Of course I had filled Peeta in on everything Gale had said to me since Posy started coming over. Why wouldn't I? He was my best friend, and had been my confidant about Gale since almost the beginning. While Peeta hadn't had the best of feelings towards Gale- what with being in love with Katniss- they had only gotten worse the more he heard of him treating me poorly.

"It's not his fault. He's just stubborn and, I hate to say it and hurt both of us, but he's in love with her."

"He's also prejudiced and rude." A beat. "Do you think Katniss loves him back?"

I pursed my lips. "I hardly know Katniss. I couldn't tell you in confidence anything about her feelings." I took a deep breath. "All I know is that she didn't seem like she was acting the whole time. I think she's just... Got so many walls up around her that she can't see over the first one to know that someone's breaking down the outer ones."

Peeta laughed sourly. "She doesn't love me."

"I don't know how she couldn't. You're pretty lovable," I teased with a weak smile.

He blew out a gust of air and sagged.

"Yeah. Me, too, Peet."

I climbed the stairs one at a time, feeling like I was walking in slow-motion. I felt so nervous I could hurl all over the pristine stone stage. The Peacekeeper behind me shoved the butt of his gun into my back, making me stumble on the last step. I caught myself just in time and stood straight, finally making it to the roped off girl's section.

Katniss took her spot next to me, not meeting my eyes. We hadn't talked much, even during our training. I couldn't- not while knowing I couldn't volunteer for her if I wanted this rebellion to work. Or if I wanted any of us to have a chance at survival.

I stared into the crowd as Peeta and Haymitch took their spots in the other roped off square to the right of us. The usual speeches were given and then Effie was taking the spotlight at the microphone, sounding like she'd burst into tears at any second. I kept staring straight forward, and my eyes accidentally landed on the ones I had been hoping to avoid, but was somehow always drawn to.

Gale's face was drawn tight, and he was staring right back at me. Feeling uneasy, I looked away.

"First, the girls," Effie declared. She reluctantly stuck her hand in the bowl and swished it around, delaying the inevitable. "Katniss Everdeen," she choked.

I was determined to stare straight ahead, unable to face the girl I was dooming, but her violent look in my direction had me glancing over. My breath caught at the look in her eyes, and suddenly I didn't feel so bad staying silent. I understood what she was trying to tell me. My eyes left hers and passed over Peeta's resigned ones, to meet with Haymitch's firm gaze. He gave me a subtle nod, and I returned it.

"And now, for the boys." Effie walked the slowest I'd ever seen her move over to the second bowl and took her sweet time swishing around that one, too.

"Haymitch Abernathy," she sighed in what was clearly relief. A pity.

"I volunteer," Peeta said loud and clear, and Effie choked back a sob.

She shakingly announced the tributes for the seventy-fifth annual games, and all hell broke loose. Peacekeepers rushed over and grabbed us up, herding us towards the train station.

"Wait!" Katniss cried. "We have to say goodbye! We have to say goodbye!"

"Katniss!" I heard a young voice scream from the crowd, and Katniss responded.

"Prim! Prim, I love you!"

They loaded us onto the train and shut the doors tight behind us.

"Well," Haymitch said wanly. "Here's to nothing."