PoV: RORY

I ask my mom to drop me off at the Willow Falls park at ten the next morning. I invited Amanda to meet me there, since there's a lot I need sorted out, and she's the only person I feel I can talk to about it. Her and her level head, while mine feels like a top spinning out of control.

Mom lets me out in the parking lot, and I walk the path into the park a little ways until I spot Amanda sitting on a bench, her eyes focused on something ahead of her. "Morning, Rory," she greets when I approach, but her smile soon falls away when she sees the crumpled, sleep-deprived wince on my face that I'm generously calling a smile. "Everything all right?"

I shake my head. "Not by a long shot."

She frowns and stands up. "Come on. Let's walk." We move a few feet forward before she asks, "is this about Angelina?"

"No. It's worse than that," I respond. "It's Jake."

She looks genuinely confused. "You brought me here to talk about Jake? Isn't that Annabelle's area of expertise?"

"Not anymore, apparently." In a nutshell, I relay to her everything Jake told me during our phone call last night. For what it's worth, I appreciate that she actually seems to be listening, instead of planning mine and Jake's wedding in Dreamland like Annabelle or Sari would. When I'm finished, she waits a beat before contributing her two cents.

"Look, this might sound like the last thing you want to hear, but I guarantee you this is a good thing."

"How? I'm so uncomfortable!"

"That means extra factors are at play. Don't worry, we'll get to those, but I want to help you first with Jake's side of the issue. The main thing he told you was that he likes himself better when he's with you. Right?"

"Right. Which was kinda bizarre since Annabelle just told me the same thing last week."

"Well, I don't know if anyone's told you straight up yet, but you easily have that effect on people. So it doesn't surprise me that Jake feels it too. And for all we know that could be the extent of it. Does that make you feel more comfortable?"

"Yes." It actually does a little, but I still think I'm missing something. "So what are the extra factors, then?"

Amanda takes a bracing breath. "Those get more complicated depending on how you personally affect them. Take me and Leo for example. We're best friends, boy and girl, and I would say Leo brings out the best in me. It's one of my favorite things about him."

"Um, except this is not the same thing. You two are best friends; Jake and I are just good friends. And you've known Leo your whole life—I've only known Jake for a week! So how are we similar?"

"We're similar because you make Jake better, just like Leo makes me better. Now, think about it like this. Does Jake make you better?"

"Make me better?" I repeat, even though it makes so much sense it practically slaps me in the face.

I've been convinced my whole life that I'm not enough. Not pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, cool enough. I spent the first two weeks of age twelve trying to be all those things because I thought I'd finally gotten my pass to be all those things.

But in one week spent with Jake, I hadn't thought about any of those rites of passage at all; none of them made a difference. It didn't matter if my glasses were dorky or my legs had hair on them or my ears were pierced, because when it was just me and Jake...I had more confidence in myself than I'd ever felt before. I've wasted so much time hyperfocused on my flaws, wishing I was someone else—only for a certain boy from Hollywood to waltz into my life unannounced and render every last one of my shortcomings obsolete, in one single week. And now that I actually stop and think about it, I'm amazed.

I like myself better when I'm with Jake.

So I answer Amanda honestly. "Yeah, I think he does."

She smiles as though she knew I would come to this conclusion eventually. "And he was just expressing his appreciation for your gift. Looks like it works both ways, doesn't it?"

"Both ways. Exactly. Amanda you're a genius," I tell her.

"Aww, you're sweet," she gushes. "But, that wasn't the extra factor I was thinking of."

"Oh. Which one was it?"

Amanda barely flinches. "Attraction."

I blink at her. "What? Why that?"

"Because it makes you perceive everything differently. More specifically, it makes you overthink."

"But I overthink all the time!"

She shrugs. "Maybe that's true, but what I mean is, you're really talented with people. You see them and understand them so well; it makes you unique. So if Jake was just another person to you, this whole situation wouldn't make you so uncomfortable. And usually, attraction is one of the most common culprits."

"I am not attracted to Jake." My voice comes out more confidently than I feel.

"Maybe you aren't. I just want you to thoroughly rule out the possibility. It'll save you a lot of trouble later, believe me." Her voice tips in a way that makes me think she's speaking from personal experience. So I figure now's as good a time as any to ask.

"Did you rule it out with Leo? Is that how you know it works?"

Amanda flicks her gaze to the ground, talking quickly through her blush. "We're not talking about me and Leo. And yes, I do know it works. I wouldn't suggest it to you if I wasn't sure."

She didn't rule it out.

"So then what do I do? To rule it out?"

She shrugs. "Go through your feelings one at a time. If it's attraction, you'll know. If it's not, you'll know. It's easier than it sounds."

I hope.

That night I'm tag-teaming the dinner dishes with Sawyer (he hands me the towel whenever I need to dry one) when a worst-case scenario comes true. My phone vibrates on the counter next to us, which I go ahead and ignore, figuring it's Amanda and I'll call her back when I finish the dishes. But Sawyer decides to reach over, grab my phone, and answer it. "Hello, Rory's phone! This is Sawyer her little brother!"

"Sawyer! Put my phone down!" I whisper-scold him. The person on the phone says something, to which Sawyer replies, as LOUD as he possibly can, "Jake Harrison?!"

My eyes widen in horror, and I drop the dish I'm holding in the sink, hearing it clatter against the porcelain basin as I attempt to grab Sawyer where I stand and wrestle the phone from his hands. But he takes off running, out of the kitchen and into the living room, crooning to Jake, "Did you know my sister Rory has a stuffed bear named Throckmorton?"

I bolt after him and chase him up the stairs. Thinking it's all a game, Sawyer darts into the bathroom, slams the door shut, and locks it behind him.

"Sawyer!" I bang on the door twice before I think better of it and resolve to jiggling the handle aggressively. Our parents are in the backyard watering the roses right now, but they could walk in at any moment and I'd get in trouble for once again causing blunt-force damage to this door. "Sawyer, open the door!"

I jiggle and jiggle harder, but Sawyer is too busy singing "The Wheels on the Bus" to Jake to notice.

Luckily Jake hangs up the second Sawyer pauses to take a breath, and immediately losing interest he unlocks the bathroom door and tries to clean-break it. But I catch him and carry him writhing and complaining back to his room. Wrenching my cell phone from his hands, I deposit him squirming onto his bed and prepare to wield the big-sister charm.

When he tries to get up and run, I tell him, "Stay!" He actually stays. My babysitting skills are coming in handy tonight. Or, would it be dog-training skills? Sighing, I crouch down to his eye level. "Sawyer. You know the boy you just talked to on the phone?"

My brother pretends to think about it for a moment, before the "recollection" dawns on him. "Jake Harrison?" I nod. Sawyer exclaims, "He's great!"

"He is, but there's something you should know about him. Jake Harrison is a kids-only friend!" I say this in my most exciting quiet voice.

Sawyer's eyes widen. "A secret friend?" He asks in wonderment.

I nod vigorously. "He only exists as long as no grown-ups knows about him. If Mom and Dad find out, he goes away! And you don't want him to go away, do you?"

Sawyer shakes his head. "No, no, no!"

"Then you can't ever mention him to Mom and Dad, got it? Because if you do, even once, he'll go away forever. You understand?"

"Yeah! I won't tell, Rory. I promise."

I smile. "Very good." I ruffle his little mop of hair, then tell him he can go free. Before leaving his room, Sawyer turns around and puts a finger to his lips. "Shhhhhh."

I mimic the gesture. "That's right. Shhhhhh."

A/N: This scene was one of my favorites to write so far! I love including Sawyer in the secret XD