PoV: RORY
If it's attraction, you'll know. If it's not, you'll know.
This is like Angelina all over again. How am I supposed to know if I don't know? Since sleep clearly isn't coming any time soon, I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, contemplating Amanda's words.
Go through your feelings one at a time. I'm not even sure what that means, but it seems like the easiest place to start. So does the beginning. So I start there. Before I knew Jake personally, I knew him as a figure. He's always been cute, with those twinkling blue eyes and blinding white smile, but if anyone knows the full extent of "looks aren't everything," it's me. So I move on to his strengths.
He's a talented actor, singer, and dancer, which I know from seeing his movies. He's also pretty good at video games. Jake's an excellent conversationalist, and a part of me wonders how much that has to do with me. If it has anything to do with me at all. We've learned some pretty obscure things just by talking with each other in his trailer over store-bought cookies from craft services. I explained to him why my face looked the way it did the day he first saw me, because of my makeup allergy, and he told me he's allergic to avocados.
"What?! No way! I couldn't imagine my life without guacamole," I remember saying. And Jake replying with: "It's a dreary existence." That got a laugh out of me.
Jake is much smarter and more thoughtful than people think. He's kind and generous and funny. He's super easygoing and a little geeky sometimes without realizing it, but I think it's cute. He really listens. And he's honest to a fault.
Because Jake is so gorgeous on the outside, it's easy to assume that's all he cares about. But as this week progressed, I found myself becoming less and less aware of his looks until I wasn't intimidated by them at all. If the public could get to know him like I have, they would understand that Jake Harrison is more than just his appearance: he's beautiful on the inside, too. Really beautiful.
My heart skips a beat, as I realize something right then: that's what Amanda meant by attraction. It's not...un-obvious that I like the way Jake looks on the outside (I mean, those cheekbones!)—but now that I know him know him, I can say with full and complete certainty that his looks are not the reason I've been visiting the trailer lot every day. And they aren't the reason we text all the time. Plenty of people are gorgeous with nothing else to offer (*cough cough* Madison Waters), but Jake is not one of those people.
Outwardly, I'm nothing close to his equal, but he disregarded all of that from the get-go. He made me feel important when he didn't have to. He had Madison Waters on his arm and it didn't matter, because he too wants more than just a pretty face.
He's a beautiful soul, the kind of which there aren't too many out there. Finding one is special. And I'm starting to think I might need Jake—someway, somehow—just as much as he needs me. As nerve wracking as it is to admit to myself, I'm finally able to do it: I am attracted to Jake—inside and out. And since I've come to terms with that, I can start on phase two: what I want.
Which, of course, is a brand new tangle of knots.