Sometimes, every once in a while, Ollie had to wonder how he got into the messes he did.
Like ending up with a mohawk.
It wasn't by choice of course. As it turned out, Judgement was in fact able to cut his hair. She didn't want to, of course, but she did. It took some bargaining on his part, and in the end, they settled on wrestling. If he won, he got his haircut.
If he lost, she got to choose the haircut, but she'd still cut it.
'No way she'll fuck my shit up too bad, right?' was his thought process. And to her credit, it looked pretty good. It wasn't a mohawk in the sense where it was spiked up, but more of a strip of long hair down the middle of his head, swept up. It looked smooth.
Wasn't what he'd have gone with, but he wasn't too mad about it if he was honest.
Malina seemed to like it, at least. Ollie wasn't sure why he cared, but all he could do was shrug it off.
It was getting a bit old though.
"Hahah, I still can't over that rat tail!" She guffaws, ruffling his hair as she takes a bite of her pancakes. This was the second plate of the second batch, and she was still going. Simply put, she couldn't get enough. He waves his hands around her head, as if smacking away a swarm of bugs.
"Knock it off!" He hisses, leaning away from her. It proves ultimately pointless, as she just ends up standing over him reaching over to smack around his giant cowlick. "I swear I'm gonna' beat your fucking ass next game!"
"Pfft, yeah, like you could!" She cackles, shoveling another forkful of pancake in her mouth.
"I could! Literally any other game, I will fucking destroy you!" He roars defiantly.
"Oh, if you say so bitch boy! You pick the game!" She snorts, closing the game they were just playing.
"Any game?"
"Any game. Any at all!"
"Your confidence will be your killer, bitch. You're on."
He storms out, and minutes later reenters the room, console tucked underarm. He sits down on the loveseat, and sets to work setting the console back up. He tosses her a controller, and says only one word.
"Tekken."
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "This'll be too easy." She tells herself.
Once the game finishes loading, they choose Player Battle. Malina selects Miguel. Ollie, however...
"Steve? You're going with Steve..." Malina says, dumbfounded.
"Yep."
"He literally only has punching attacks. Do you know how shitty of a matchup this is?"
"Well, if it's such a shitty mashup you shouldn't have any trouble winning, huh?"
She grumbles, before picking the stage. Infinite Azure. "Whatever. When I win, I want you to make me more pancakes, bitch boy."
"Tch. If you win." He seethes. "Wait, what do I get if I win?"
"What do you want?" She asks.
He thinks for a second, but decides that he ultimately would be happy just beating her ass. That and he can't think of anything he wants at the moment.
"Ah-heh, I'll think of somethin' eventually..." He trails off.
"A new challenger has entered the battle!" The game announces, and they ready themselves for combat. It loads rather quickly and before they know it, they're duking it out.
The first round is Ollie's as he ends the round with an Albion Rush. "Shit!" Malina exclaims, taken aback by how quickly Ollie claims victory.
The second round goes to Ollie as well, courtesy of a well-played Billyclub. "Get fucked on, nerd!" He gloats, pounding his chest like an animal.
The start of round 3 sees Malina dodging backwards, in a panic.
Then, an idea.
Mashing the button to keep dodging backwards, she hurriedly pulls her shirt over her head, throwing it over Ollie's face. "Wh-Hey!" He shouts, confused. By the time he gets the shirt off his face, his health is down to the width of a fly's cock. He is taken over the edge by throw. "Y-you're cheating!" He whines, avoiding looking in her direction as his face burns a bright pink.
"Or maybe it's just hot in here? What, too much to handle?" She teases, sticking her tongue out.
"As if!" He fumes. The round starts, and with Ollie unprepared Malina manages to catch him in a 10-hit combo. He stands no chance as Malina steamrolls him.
"Oh, now it's on!" He shouts, locking his eyes on the screen. He stands, stepping away from the loveseat so as not to afford Malina another chance to make another diversion.
"Round 5. Fight!" The announcer bellows, and Ollie dodges left, under a kick. He hits her with a stungun, then a psyche-out hook. She retaliates in classic Malina fashion. That is, spamming throws. He creates some space between them, and she charges him. It is then he chooses to perform her Coup de grace. He triggers his Rage Art just as she enters its range. Being mid dash, Malina is defenseless.
"No! Damnit, you fucking prick!" She shouts, desperately mashing right on the pad to cancel her dash. It's utterly fruitless, and she get launched into the air, cratering into the ground.
"Yeah bitch! Number one! Never forget it, I AM the Lizard King!" He gloats, jumping up and pumping his fists.
"That's bullshit! Rage Arts are so cheating!"
"And taking your clothes off isn't?" He retorts.
"I told you I just got hot!"
"It's a mechanic, not cheating ya' big baby. Hu-hu-hu-!" He fake cries, mocking her.
"Gah! Whatever, you win!" She concedes. He crosses his arms, satisfied with himself.
"You're motherfucking right." He sighs, leaning back against the loveseat. "BUT, since I'm such a gracious victor, I'll go make some more pancakes anyway. I'm hungry." He stretches, sauntering for the door. As he begins to push it open, he hears Malian call out to him.
He turns to face her. "What's u-" He's cut off by the surprise of her soft, warm hand on his cheek, pulling him in close.
"N-need to give you some kind of prize, don't I?... She mumbles, before pressing a soft, surprisingly tender, and all too short kiss on his cheek. The faint, lingering smell of vodka hits his nose.
Just as abruptly as the tender moment comes, it leaves again. She shoves him through the door, slamming the door behind him. Through the door he can hear her voice. "Don't come back until you have those pancakes!" She shouts to him.
He doesn't respond. Instead, he stands there, dumbfounded. Eyes wide open and jaw clenched, he wordlessly turns to march down the stairs.
' Well, that was uhh, unexpected. I... y'know, yeah, why not? Why the hell not? Hot demon chicks. I'm starting to see the appeal.'
…...
He stares blankly into the pan, watching the batter pour into it. Slowly, it fills the bottom surface of the pan. It keeps pouring, eventually overflowing and sloughing off onto the glass stovetop. "Ah, fuck." He mutters, hurriedly pouring the strawberry-laden batter back into the bowl.
"Wow, good one, killer." Taker laughs, taking a sip of his coffee. "Something on your mind, kid?"
"Nah." He absently responds, wiping the excess batter off the stove, back into the bowl.
"You're lying. There's no way you could screw that up, unless you were distracted." Taker chuckles, leaning against the counter next to Ollie. "So, what's on your mind, kid?" He takes another sip.
"Uhh... Malina kissed me on the cheek?" He utters, meekly. This earns a shocked reaction from Taker, resulting in him spraying coffee all over the kitchen floor.
"She what?" His eyes widen, slightly visible behind his shades.
"I already said it old man, don't make me say it again." He pouts, cheeks crimson.
"No, no- I heard what you said. I just... can't believe it." Taker says, amazed.
"What's so special about it?" Ollie wonders, pouring a much more reasonable amount of batter in the pan, satisfied with the sizzle of the pan and dropping a few dark chocolate chips in.
"Kid, when I tell you Malina isn't social... I mean it. She barely interacts with anyone besides me and Azazel. Besides Zdrada, but you've seen how that goes. Hell, if anyone else got their hand melted like you did, she wouldn't give a damn. But you... well, she's got something for you, I guess." He finishes, picking a hand towel off the rack and putting it on the floor, beginning to soak up the spit coffee.
"Really? I hadn't noticed. I-I mean, she's been pretty cool so far, she has. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in her, y'know? She's... really pretty." He admits, his blush returning with a vengeance and painting his entire face cherry pie red.
"Hah! Attaboy!" Taker barks, giving him a thumbs up.
"Wh-hey! Don't tell the whole house, man!" He shushes him, worried someone will hear. He's sure Malina wouldn't want the others to know, and news probably spreads like bad gas in this house.
"Ahh, they'll probably figure out eventually." He shrugs, nonchalant. "So, what're you going to do now?"
"Bring these up to Malina and hope I get to second base." Ollie jokes, quietly. Making off with a plate of pancakes. On the way up, he runs into Azazel.
"Oh! Ollie, hello! How are you this fine day?"
"Ahh, can't complain. How 'bout you Az? You seem excited." He asks, a mellow smile on his face. He wasn't sure why, but her presence made him feel at ease, in a way. Maybe it was because she was an angel? He couldn't place it.
"I've just finished with some amazing research! I have to show you!" She beams, her halo growing just a bit brighter.
"Ahh, I'd love to Azzie, but I got Malina waiting on me. Later, I promise." He smiles. She returns it, placing her notepad into her back pocket.
"Oh, no worry! Stop by my room whenever you like!" She says, trotting down the stairs.
She sure was a ray of bright light.
Blindingly so.
"Hey, Malina! I got the panca-" He starts, slamming his fist on the door. Before he can finish, she throws wide the door, yanking him in and stealing the plate from his hands. He closes the door behind him.
"Uff, save one for me?" He asks, eyeing the egregiously sugary food.
"Shoulda' made some for yourself." She speaks through a mouthful of food.
"Wh- I made them! Can't I at least get a bite?!" He begs, but she dismisses his pleas.
"Mn." Is all she utters.
"Rude."
"You're in my room, jackoff." She shrugs.
"Tch, can jack me off." He mutters, crossing his arms.
She raises any eyebrow, sensing an opportunity to tease. "You'd like that wouldn't you?"
"Whuh- maybe I would." He looks away, trying to hide his blush behind his arms.
"Uh-huh. I'm sure you would..." She says breathily, whispering into his ear. She places a hand on his chin, gently tipping his head towards her. Their eyes meet each other, mesmerizing pools of crimson red peering deep into glimmering emerald.
Ollie stares, hypnotized. Then she pulls away. "AAAAAHAHAH! You should have seen the look on your face! That- that was priceless!" She cackles madly.
He pouts, grabbing the last remaining pancake from the plate with his bare hand, taking a bite.
"Hey! I was gonna' eat that!" She shouts, reaching for it. He stands, using his height to his advantage and dangling it over her head. "Give it!"
"I made them, I should at least get one.!" He defends, taking another huge bite, leaving only the end of it. She takes her chance, and swipes it from his hand before stuffing it in her mouth, leaving crumbs of chocolate on her face. "Awwh, come on..." He mopes.
"Heh, too bad." She shrugs, still chewing. She hasn't noticed the crumbs around her face. She swallows with an exaggerated gulp, satisfied look on her face as she gives him a shit eating grin. He returns it.
'Vengeance.', he thinks to himself, closing the distance slowly. "Fuck, you are one messy eater." He says, inching closer and closer. Confusion passes across her face. "You've got chocolate all around your lips. Lemme get that real quick."
Before she can utter some snarky retort, he closes the gap. One hand rests on the back of her neck, the other on her cheek as he brings her in for a surprise kiss. Before he parts, he licks a smudge of chocolate from her bottom lip.
He slowly backs away, hoping to see the look of shock (or perhaps agitation, it'd be worth the ass kicking in the end) but is put on the back foot when her hands shoot out and grab a vice-like grip on his collar. Before he knows it, he's back where he was seconds ago. Only this time he isn't the one in control.
She leans into him, sustaining the aggressive kiss and she pushes him backward. He falls back and has the wind knocked out of him by the sudden fall. She tugs sharply against his shirt, as if she could pull him any closer, before releasing him.
There he lays, surrounded by empty Vodka bottles, with a scantily-clad demon lady straddling him. They both gasp for air. Her face holds a look he didn't quite expect. He had expected her to be pissed, maybe beat the shit out of him. Instead, she actually seems rather... flustered? She realizes her veneer is beginning to slip, and quickly hardens her gaze.
"You and me. Arcade tomorrow. It's a date." She asserts, brooking no room for argument.
"Ahh, yeah... sure?" He stumbles. He wasn't quite prepared for this.
He's not complaining, no. He's actually pretty pleased.
But fuck him if things didn't take a hard right turn.
"Ok. Good." She stands, grabbing him by his shoulders and hefting him to his feet with frightening ease.
"Woh- are- are all of you this strong?" He asks, amazed. She ambles over to the couch, throwing herself down on it and picking up a controller. He follows suit.
"Mhm."
He is struck by a profound sense of terror. "Fuck. If Modeus wanted my schwantz she could literally just take it." He pales. "I.. really hope it doesn't come to that."
"If you play Heroes 3 with me I'll keep your dick safe." She deadpans.
"Deal." Ollie agrees, without hesitation. "Wait- huh?"
"Too late, no take-backs rat-tail!" She cackles.
Ollie could already tell he got himself into another mess.
Not to say it was a bad one.
Sometimes, every once in a while, Ollie had to wonder how he got into the messes he did.