Chapter 26: Disk 3.11 - Pandemonium

[Screen changes to inside Pandemonium. Zidane teleports in]

Zidane "So, this must be Garland's haunted mansion..." "Talk about bad taste in interior decorating." "Alright... Time to teach this tyrant a thing or two..."

Tyrant better describes Kuja and Brahne, Garland is more of a well intentioned extremist.

[Zidane moves forward, to the next screen]

"So, we meet again."

Zidane "!?"

[The "Old Man" that Zidane saw when first arriving in Terra suddenly appears in front of him]

Zidane "Who are you!?"

Old Man "Twelve years ago, I lost one of my most prized Genomes." "I created him and sent him to Gaia to disrupt the cycle of souls there."

Okay the "sent him" part is incorrect, it was Kuja who stole Zidane and dumped him on Gaia, which you should clearly know about, Garland.

Old Man "You are that Genome... I am glad you have returned."

Zidane "Shut up! Nobody tells me what to do!"

And how has that been working out for you, Zidane? This is also ironic considering that you pretty much did what Mikoto told you to do. Also, you sure that Garnet isn't an exception to that?

Zidane "And I didn't come here to answer to you!" "Lemme guess... You must be Garland!"

Garland "And what if I am?"

Zidane "Then you're goin' down!

And what is you strategy to do that, Zidane, just pull a Leeroy Jenkins?

Zidane But first, you're gonna tell me everything!" "Like, why did I grow up on Gaia, and why do you want to destroy it!?"

[Garland dissapears, and reappears behind him]

Garland teleports a lot during this scene, but afterwards, even in battle against him, the whole teleporting thing just stops for no reason.

Garland "I have no intention of destroying Gaia. I only wish to make Gaia into Terra."

Zidane "What did you just say!?"

Garland "Of course, not everything went as planned. You growing up on Gaia, for example." "There is another one built as you were. He may be the one who threw a wrench into my gears."

Zidane "He!? Who the heck are you talking about!?"

Garland "Someone you know quite well." "Follow me... The time when the aura of Gaia will turn to the crimson glow of Terra has not yet come." [He walks up a set of stairs, off screen] "I may need your help anyway."

[Zidane goes up the stairs. The word "Pandemonium" appears on the screen. The screen changes to a room where Zidane finally catches up to Garland]

Zidane "Stop!" "Now, tell me everything!"

Garland "I constructed the Genomes to be vessels for the souls of the people of Terra when they awaken." "But 24 years ago, I gave life to a Genome that was very much like you." "His will was too strong to make him into a proper vessel, and I even considered discarding him." "But then I thought that I should put his strength to use." "I sent that Genome as my servant, to disrupt the cycle of souls on Gaia."

Garland's dialogue here suggests that Kuja was never made to be a super weapon like Zidane was, he was just supposed to be a regular Genome, which if that is the case, then why was Kuja so ridiculously powerful (aside from Garland) and could tank a hit from Bahamut's megaflare?

Also what do you mean "his will was too strong"? You were the one that made him! You couldn't have simply not have given him a soul? Actually how did Kuja get a soul anyways? Did the red crystal manage to give him one despite it's weakened state?

The Ultimania also contradicts this dialogue by saying that Garland had intentionally made Kuja to help speed up the disruption process, either what Garland said here is a mistranslation, or the writers had no idea what they were doing and what was said in the Ultimania was a retcon, with everything we have seen these past three disks, the latter is more likely.

[Garland walks to the left side of the screen. Zidane follows him]

Zidane "Yeah, so tell me who he is already!"

Is it really that hard to figure it out yourself, Zidane? Who was the one who literally sent you to Oeilvert which talks about Terra?

Garland "Do you not yet know? You and he are so much alike."

Zidane "Alike? I've never met anyone like me..."

Garland "You judge only be appearances. I mean someone with a soul similar to yours." "The one I sent to Gaia might also be called your brother..." "And his name is Kuja."

How exactly are Zidane and Kuja brothers? Do they have the same DNA?

Also, yeah, this is pretty much stealing from FFIV with Cecil and Golbez (except that Golbez was at least more sympathetic and was being controlled and manipulated by Zemus, the DS Remake of IV expanding on that more, while Kuja is just a narcissistic man-child), heck, Garland here is pretty much Fusoya, but more extremist. FFIV seems to be one of the FFs that IX rips-off the most from, the other being FFI.

Zidane "Kuja!? He's a Genome!? Impossible! He doesn't even have a tail..."

Garland "He is only hiding it. He denies his own identity."

How the heck is Kuja able to hide his tail in that man thong of his? Actually, I might not like the answer.

Garland "He rejects the meaning of his existence and tries to assert his own individuality." "Don't you see the resemblance?"

Zidane isn't a hyper-individualistic asshole like Kuja is though.

Zidane "Shut up! I'm not like him at all!"

Garland "He said the same thing when speaking about the other Genomes: 'I'm not like these guys.'"

So Kuja has special snowflake syndrome.

[Garland floats to a new screen. Zidane follows]

Garland "His ambition was unbecoming of a Genome, but it was perfect for the mission I gave him." "To bring war and chaos to Gaia... That was what I sent him to do." "To induce an unnaturally chaotic flow."

Zidane "So then, why-"

Garland "The disruption of the flow of souls is best brought about by war." "And what he did for me far exceeded my greatest expectations."

Okay, to make this clearer, here is a quote from the FFWiki: "Soulcage's goal was to halt the flow of souls in Gaia and replace them with the souls of Terra, eventually transforming Gaia into a new Terra when enough of Gaia's spirit energy has turned into Terran energy. The stagnant Gaian souls that could not be reincarnated turned into Mist as a byproduct of this process, which was used to spark war among Gaians to increase the rate at which they died, thereby allowing the Terran souls to replace the Gaian souls faster."

"Garland's ultimate plan is for Terra to assimilate the planet of Gaia via replacing the Gaian souls with Terran ones. To accelerate the process Garland created Kuja and sent him to Gaia to incite war so Gaian souls would be replaced faster. However, Garland initially deemed Kuja a failure. According to the Final Fantasy IX Ultimania, Kuja was created as he is and never experienced a childhood. Thus he never developed full human emotions and would never be able to enter Trance, the world's ultimate power."

But here is a big question, why did Garland even need to make Zidane and Kuja in the first place when he could have simply just used the INVINCIBLE to cause death on Gaia? This is what I meant back in Alexandria a few chapters ago when I said that the Invincible causes some of the biggest plot holes in the story, the Invincible is really overpowered, it devastated an entire settlement of the summoners, it can enslave Eidolons like we saw with Bahamut, and not even Alexander, the most powerful Gaia Eidolon, could stand up to it and got blown up easily. Why does Garland need an "Angel of Death" when he can just take the Invincible and blow up every city and densely populated area on the Mist Continent to speed up the soul switching process?

Zidane "What about me!? How did I end up on Gaia?"

Garland "When you received the gift of life in Bran Bal, Kuja could not bear it." "He could not bear to see a Genome with more power than his own; he felt threatened." "Kuja discarded you. He dropped you onto Gaia, the world he would destroy."

And yet you still let Kuja have control over the Invincible after that, when really you shouldn't have let him be within a mile radius of it?

Zidane "So I was to be your slave, just like Kuja, to start a war on Gaia?"

Garland "That is correct." "I did not expect Kuja to abandon you, but I believed it was his nature."

What, you didn't expect that? That a whiny narcissist would try and sabotage his replacement that is supposed to be superior to him? Is your head screwed on right, Garland?

Garland "And to him, bringing war to Gaia would prove his victory over you." "Perhaps it is because of his desire to justify his existence that he let you live as well."

Yeah sure, let the boy who is supposed to be superior to you, live so that his true powers awaken to kick your ass, this all boils down to dumb egotism.

Unless Kuja really did care about Zidane but wouldn't admit it, but most of the game is just Kuja being a cartoon villain with no development or depth and sympathy until the last minute where it is really forced. (will be getting to that soon)

Zidane "So, that is why the blood of thousands had to be spilled?"

Garland "Are you referring to Kuja's ambition? Or to our plan to disrupt the cycle of souls?"

Zidane "Both! And what exactly do you gain by disrupting that cycle of souls, or whatever..."

Garland "We must sort the souls." "I want to disrupt Gaia's cycle and drain its souls, filling the void with the souls of Terra." "To speed the cycle of souls is to speed the work as a whole. Thus, war..." "And in time... Gaia's souls are gone, and Gaia becomes Terra."

Sorry, but this doesn't make any sense either. According to this logic, during these five thousand years, a good half of the souls of Gaia should have already been replaced by the souls of Terra. What changed? How will Gaia ever turn into Terra, even if the poor souls of the terrans were possessed by freaking rat people?

Also you couldn't have just made it "two thousand years" to go with Garland and the FFI references?

Zidane "But...how!?"

Garland "You saw it with your own eyes. You saw the Iifa Tree and the Mist it emits." "The role of the Iifa Tree is that of Soul Divider. The Mist you see comprises the stagnant souls of Gaia..."

Which pretty much confirms that the Black Mages that come from the Mist are actually Gaia people resurrected into artificial bodies, but even after this revelation, the game won't really explore this more interesting path, and instead keep doing the pretentious Blade Runner allusions that don't fit.

Not to mention other implications like how Gaia machinery ran on the Mist, meaning that they were unknowingly using souls as a fuel source, but that is also never explored.

Zidane "Oh yeah? But we stopped the Mist! So much for that!"

Garland "All you saw was the back of the tree..."

These words will lead to some players making up theories about Necron that are ultimately jossed by the Ultimania. (will be getting to that infamous moment in a few chapters)

Garland "Even now, the Iifa Tree blocks the flow of Gaia's souls, while it lets those of Terra flow freely." "Come and see for yourself. See the true form of this planet."

[Screen fades to black, resumes in the next one. Garland is walking up a set of stairs; in the air above them both is a giant planet. From the planet, orange rays of light shine on Zidane]

Zidane "What is this?"

Garland "Think of it as an observatory. A place to measure the radiance of Gaia and Terra."

Zidane "What are you talking about? And what is this weird light?"

Garland "That is the center of the planet. The end and the beginning of the cycle of souls." "The light remains Gaia's, for now, but when the blue changes to crimson, all will belong to Terra, and its restoration will be complete." "That is why I wrapped up the light in the Iifa Tree, to prevent the cycle of the judgement of souls on Gaia from inside the planet." "Such is the Iifa Tree's true purpose, its true form. All you saw was its material form." "The flow of Gaia's souls cannot be changed simply by stopping the disposal of Mist."

"And so I wrapped the light in the Tree of Iifa to prevent the cycle of soul justice on Gaia from within the planet."

There was also a gigantic "simple" speech about life death death follows from life life is afraid of death but death is inevitable because it gives rise to life and therefore: death life life death soul.

Garland doesn't even mention the crystals here.

Zidane "So...Kuja is just an angel of death who sends souls to the Tree of Iifa."

Garland "Yes, my angel of death. But only until you came of age."

Zidane "What do you mean!?"

Garland "His soul is not eternal... I was going to create you next, after all."

Don't you mean his body? Weird choice of words there.

Zidane "You mean you won't need Kuja's soul once I grow stronger than him?"

Garland "Precisely... Soon, that time will come."

Yet we never actually see that, even against Trance Kuja we don't see Zidane's true power awaken and absolutely curb stomp Kuja.

Zidane couldn't even beat a normal human like Beatrix, which proves how much of a Sue she is.

Zidane "..."

Garland "Well...now you should be fully aware of the meaning of your existence..." "!?"

[Zidane is making his way to the base of the stairs]

Zidane "Yeah, I'm aware of all the laughter, all the tears I've shared with the people I grew up with on Gaia."

[Garland walks down the stairs, stopping right in front of Zidane]

Garland "Forget all that. You are destined to live among the stars for all eternity." "You have the power, the position, and the motive to do it."

Zidane "I wouldn't want that kind of power..."

Not even to curb stomp Kuja and Beatrix for being poorly written characters?

Zidane "if I only had a place to call home..." "My brothers in Tantalus, Vivi, Freya, Amarant, Quina, Steiner, Eiko, and...Dagger..."

Really, Quina and Steiner? And what about Fratley?

Zidane "My home is with them in Gaia!" "If you say I have a motive, then it's to punish all of you who brought pain to my friends!" "I'll destroy Terra! That's reason enough for my birth here as a Genome!"

…Wow, how "heroic", Zidane. "I am a benefactor, so I will now arrange genocide for all my people."

Way to demonize an entire group of people for the actions of two individuals (Garland and Kuja), one of whom was more well intentioned if still an extremist. (the other was just a narcissistic d-bag)

This is one of the things that I hate most, this stuff with Gaia and Terra is actually some of the most interesting stuff in IX, but it all happens way too late into the game and is thrown so forcefully in, it's presented as some momentous revelation and then ends up having all the impact of a badly-timed non-sequitur (It's like in Chrono Cross with the revelation that Lynx is Serge's father, it happens so late into the game that you wonder why the writers even bothered), doesn't really go into details about Terra's culture and lore, and how it's just disgustingly reduced to this black and white "us or them" bullshit, especially with how Zidane's and Garnet's love story could have factored into all this, but that is to be talked about during the ending.

Even The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds, did this whole thing better with Hyrule and Lorule, and that game's story didn't even have that much depth and complexity.

Garland "Regrettable... I thought your soul would be perfect for a new angel of death..."

Okay, how did you even get Zidane's soul? Why and how did you pick that one out? Is Garland able to influence the Terra Crystal a little bit or something?

Zidane "I AM the new angel of death! Yours!"

Garland "Don't you know what it means to meet your maker?"

Zidane "Shut up! I've heard enough of your crap! I'm taking you out, right here, right now!"

Uh huh, and how are you going to do that then?

Garland "Foolishness..."

"The body becomes a vessel, which greets a new soul..."

Zidane "What's happening!?"

[Zidane falls down]

Garland "He's too good to make into a regular Genome..." "But I have no choice."

What happening here is that Garland is apparently removing Zidane's soul from his body. How? Never explained. But here is another question, if Garland could do that this whole time, why didn't he do this to Kuja after the whole Alexander fiasco? Speaking of Kuja…

[The screen changes to elsewhere in Terra]

"Ungh..."

[Kuja walks onscreen]

Kuja "..." "I can't believe I actually returned to this place, but..."

Well considering you spend most of the game looking for a power to defeat Garland, of course you would have had to come back here to fight Garland, what were you expecting, Kuja?

Kuja "Soon... Soon, the power will be mine alone." "Mhwahahaha... Just you wait, Garland! And you too, Zidane!" "I'll exact sweet revenge upon you both for insulting me!" "I'll make the people of both Gaia and Terra know who rules over all of them!" "Ha-Haha... ahahahahaha!"

Yeah, yeah, keep acting like a stereotypical, moustache twirling cartoon villain with the typical "take over the world" bullshit, instead of a realistic, complex sympathetic character, Kuja. Yet the game will act like Kuja is suddenly supposed to be a "sympathetic" character later this chapter

[Beyond the ledge he's standing on, the Invincible rises up]

Okay how the heck does Kuja have control over the Invincible again? Wouldn't Garland have made the Invincible longer respond to Kuja's commands, or however the heck Kuja seems to be remotely controlling the Invincible here, and considering we saw the Invincible earlier taking off to go to Kuja when we got to Bran Bal, shouldn't Garland have noticed that and teleported onto the airship to take back control? This makes no sense.

[Screen changes to inside Pandemonium. Zidane is slumped on a chair. The screen fades to black]

…Here we go the "You are not alone" scene, I am really going to be tearing into this…

Skipping most of the illusions of the other characters.

[A picture of Dagger appears] "Zidane!" [The picture dissapears]

"I don't know... who I am..."

[Another picture of Dagger appears] "You were always there for me, Zidane..." [The picture dissapears]

Well except for when you abandoned him.

"I'm so... tired..."

[Another picture of Dagger appears] "How come you're always so...?" [The picture dissapears]

[A picture of Zidane appears] "I... I am...an... empty...vessel..."

Garland seems to be nullifying Zidane and removing his soul from his body, lowering him to the level of an ordinary genome, well, in any case, what we can understand from his words, and he himself is clearly able to do this, he is a demiurge here, after all.

And Zidane himself is saying: "yes, I'm empty" ... and then immediately recognizes Vivi and Eiko. What the heck? Here you can't even say that he prevented Garland from sucking out his soul with some dumb POWER OF WILL or LOVE FOR FRIENDS (which just undermines the love story of Zidane and Garnet), there is nothing like that in this scene, he sits on a black background and laments "I'm shit, I'm empty, screw everyone, I'm screwed up." This, firstly, is not what Garland promised to do (Zidane remained Zidane), and secondly, it is completely out of character for no reason.

And Garland just lays him in a random chamber some where in Pandemonium WITHOUT LOOKING OVER AND GUARDING HIM?! Garland just effs off to the top of Pandemonium, leaving Zidane to be found and rescued. Wow, "smart". Why doesn't Garland have Zidane's soul somewhere within a jar already?

"Zidane!"

"Who?"

"Wake up, Zidane!"

"Who...?"

"Come on, Zidane, wake up!"

[Screen fades back in; Eiko and Vivi are standing beside the chair that Zidane is sitting in]

Zidane "Ow..."

Vivi "Zidane!"

Zidane "Vivi... Eiko..."

Eiko "Thank goodness, you're alive! We thought you were dead!"

Zidane "Oh... I..."

Vivi "We were so worried! Why did you come here all by yourself?"

Zidane "What... are you doing here?"

Yeah how did the others get to Pandemonium? Shouldn't Garland have shut down that transporter as soon as Zidane got here? How did they even know were to find him in this castle with powerful monsters prowling around?

Vivi "Huh? We came to save you, of course..."

Eiko "And it wasn't easy! You went off all alone!"

[Zidane stands up, pushing his way past them, and walking away]

Zidane "Leave me alone..."

Eiko "Huh?"

Zidane "This has nothing to do with you."

Vivi "Oh, come on!"

[Zidane ignores him, stumbling forward]

Eiko "There he goes, being the tough guy... Look, Zidane... It's not just about you."

Tell that to Dagger more than Zidane, Eiko. You don't even know what happened to Zidane yet, you should be more curious.

[He continues to walk forward and ignore. Eiko and Vivi follow behind him]

Vivi "Come on, Zidane... Don't be like that. Let's-"

Zidane "Shut up! Just shut up, you stupid brat!"

Now Zidane's gone edgy.

[Zidane gets to the end of the room. A gate lifts up, and Zidane exits; Eiko and Vivi try to follow, but the gate slams shut]

Vivi "Zidane!?"

Eiko "Zidane..."

[Next screen, Eiko and Vivi are behind the gate, Zidane is in the next room]

Zidane "..."

Eiko "Zidane, wait up!"

Vivi "You need rest, Zidane!"

Zidane "Will you little twits just shut up!" [A monster roar is heard] "There are some things kids can't understand."

Uh, you are only sixteen Zidane, why are you suddenly acting like you are a grumpy old man?

[Battle: Zidane vs. Amdusias. Partway through the battle, Freya shows up. She says "Looks like you need some help." A bit later, Amarant shows up, and he says: "Can't you even take care of yourself?". The creature gets killed; the screen returns to that room, where Freya and Amarant are standing beside Zidane]

Freya "How foolish of you to go alone."

Uh yeah, Freya? You should have said this TO DAGGER WAY MORE!

This is what I was talking about all the way back in Pinnacle Rocks when I said that Zidane would do something similar to what Dagger did (except that at least Zidane didn't drug Garnet and the others and didn't wander too far off that Garnet and the other couldn't catch up to him nor render the entire beginning of the game pointless), and everyone calls him out on leaving everyone and going off alone, but Dagger never was, especially when her actions had way worse results.

I am detecting huge double standards here.

Zidane "..."

Amarant "Damn hypocrite. Always talking about friendship, when you're nothing but a selfish loner."

Zidane seems to talk way more about love, especially in regards to Garnet.

Skipping ahead.

[Battle: Steiner and Quina vs. Abadon. Zidane joints partway through. Zidane: "You guys..."; Steiner: "You're late, Zidane!". They defeat him; the screen returns to the 3 of them]

Steiner "Hmph! What an unworthy opponent!"

Quina "Zidane, you no can leave us!" "I still want you to take me places have lots good food!"

Steiner "And I have not yet concluded whether or not you are the right man for Her Highness, mind you!"

Uh, did we miss some scenes? Since when does Steiner suddenly care about Zidane being the right person for Garnet? When he reappeared on disk 3 in Alexandria, he was back to being a dick to Zidane and refusing to let him into the castle or anywhere near Garnet until Vivi spoke up, and hasn't had any significant interaction with Zidane since then.

Zidane "Just leave me alone. I don't want to trouble you anymore."

Steiner & Quina "..."

[Zidane walks off screen, to a new one, where he leans on the door]

Zidane "You're all a bunch of babysitting bastards!" "But trust me, I know that I'm the worst bastard here."

And fights are escalating in which he kind of needs help (actually no, Solution 9). And the party members come running in PAIRS for some dumb reason. And he tells everyone to eff off. And the doors behind him close by themselves, to heighten the fricking melodrama.

[Battle: Zidane vs. Shell Dragon. He does an attack which brings Zidane's HP down to 1. Suddenly, someone cures him. Dagger joins the fight. Zidane: "Dagger!"; Dagger: "Is this how you want to solve the problem?". Together, they defeat the monster, and the screen returns to Dagger and Zidane]

Zidane "Dagger..."

Dagger "You try to do everything by yourself, don't you?"

…Okay Dagger, you are the ABSOLUTELY LAST PERSON that is in any position to be saying that, everyone seems to be pretending that the whole drugging and abandoning thing never happened. It's okay for Garnet to call Zidane out for doing this but not vice-versa? I refer to my above rant when Freya said this and double standards.

Zidane "Try to understand... I don't want to cause trouble to anyone."

Dagger "Aren't we your friends?"

You personally are not a friend, but the women Zidane loves, there is a difference.

Zidane "I want to think so! That's why I always..." "Look, I'm not from Gaia. I was just a hairsbreath from becoming the destroyer of Alexandria!" "I can't accept your friendship so easily!"

Oh... oh. Wait, what? First off, again with undermining your love for Garnet by using the term "friendship" instead.

Secondly: "I told you all to go eff yourselves and called you insults, because I have a family of assholes (though that mostly applies to only Kuja) and I didn't want to burden you with my problems"?!
That's your excuse?

In general, it seems to me that Sakaguchi simply came up with a scene in which Zidane limps through fights and tells everyone to piss off with "beautiful music", and then he attributed what should precede it and how it should end with everything pulled out of his ass.

No, seriously: Zidane says "I almost became the destroyer of Alexandria", what the heck? He had no prerequisites for this! He's not a freaking mage, he was raised on Gaia, he didn't know about anything at all! And yes, he is a miserable rag, who does not know how to do anything at all in battle, unlike Kuja, despite being supposed to be better than him and couldn't even beat Beatrix in her bullshit fights.

Dagger "You've always protected us." "But you still don't understand that we looked out for you, too!" "We watched your back while you watched ours." "And we believed in you the same way you believed in us!" "Just like you protected us..." "We want to protect you."

Yeah suuuuuuure, was that the case when you drugged and abandoned him, Dagger?

Zidane "Dagger..."

[Quina walks on screen]

Quina "You say it!" "My master tell me somebody give you tasties, you give them tasties, too. Is good manners!" "I still not cook you succulent frog yet, Zidane."

Zidane "Quina..."

[Steiner walks on screen]

Steiner "Chivalry requires a knight to look after his comrades-in-arms. I will not abandon you!" "And I shall follow you to kingdom come if I must. You remember that!"

Then why did you act like a dick towards Zidane again at the beginning of disk 3?

Zidane "Steiner..." "Ha... What am I gonna do with you guys?"

Steiner "The feeling is mutual!"

Dagger "Alright, let's go!" "Wait... Where are the four others?"

Zidane "You don't think... they've been trapped?"

Quina "It possible..."

Steiner "You should not have left them!"

Dagger "That's right! I mean, really..."

Zidane "Aww..." "I'm sorry. Let's head back... Together, this time!"

And in the end, to his "oh, I won't burden you with my problems," Garnet replies "no, we want to help," and after that Zidane is so "ok", as if nothing had happened.

And everything, all the drama was removed by hand. When everyone else wanted to help, they were left behind, when Garnet said the same thing, the point dropped immediately. Wow, what an amazing drama, "BEST GAME EVAH", ooh.

This whole forced scene was just a cheap knock off of Cloud's mind screw and being put in a wheelchair from FFVII, but the reason why Cloud's worked so well was because the entire game builds up to that one climactic moment from the very beginning. (The flashbacks and memory flashes, the voice in Cloud's head) But in IX, it's completely tacked-on, and only done because this is post-FFVII and paying customers expect at least one terrible and momentous mind screw of a revelation before the credits roll.

What also made the original better in VII than the repeat in IX was that, it was kept solely between Cloud and Tifa (Tifa staying by Cloud's side when he was in the wheel chair suffering from Mako Poisoning, and going into Cloud's subconscious) it wasn't some cheesy and cliché "friendship" thing and platonic nonsense, it focuses on romance and emphasized the love story of Cloud and Tifa since childhood and showing the memories of said childhood. (and keep in mind that VII didn't even have a love song as it's main theme like IX did, or VIII and X) Or in VIII with the scene on the Ragnarok airship with Squall and Rinoa or in X where Tidus and Yuna are kissing in the pond underwater in Macalania Woods.

IX however, didn't make it solely between Zidane and Garnet and just made it an annoying "friendship speech" thing that once again undermines the love story that this game hypes up so much, it just forces a moment later with a teleporter with eyeballs on it. (not making that up)

Skipping ahead.

Eiko "Oh yeah, that's right!" "A moogle followed me all the way from Bran Bal!"

Is no one going to ask the questions of why Moogles can be found in Terra (who have never even heard of Mognet), did Moogles actually come from Terra?

Skipping ahead.

[Zidane enters the room. At the back of the room is Garland, standing on a platform]

Garland "There's the observatory... You told me you'd become my angel of death..." "But think for a moment... Isn't life death itself? It must kill other life-forms to survive..." "Sometimes it even kills those with whom is shares blood..." "To live is to give life meaning, yet one must take others' lives to survive..." "A mature civilization becomes aware of this paradox..." "Terra's souls will sleep until they forget such nonsense. They will begin a new life in a new dimension." "It's a world in which life and death become one..." "That is the dimension in which we are meant to live, as beings that transcend life and death!"

Here we go again with this pseudo-philosophical bullshit.

Garland "Zidane... I'll ask you one more time. Who are you!?"

Again, why did you just leave Zidane by himself in that random chamber instead of looking over him, and what happened to that whole "removing his soul from his body" thing?

[The screen moves down to show Zidane and the 3 other characters of your team; in my case, Steiner, Amarant, and Freya]

Zidane "You're a sad man, Garland..." "We know more than you... We're not perfect, but we have friends who help us." "That is reason enough for us to live!"

Steiner "I may not know who I really am, but that is my question alone to answer!"

Freya "We live not to forget out past, but to learn from it!"

Amarant "Blind pursuit of power is a meaningless vice."

And here we go again with the clichéd dialogue.

You know, Garland is a much more morally ambiguous antagonist than Final Fantasy usually serves up (give or take a Delita). His job demands he get his hands dirty, but Garland is absolutely certain that his doing it for the sake of Terra absolves him. It's unfortunate that IX's atrocious pacing, lousy writing and pretentiousness robs him of the impact he should have had, and as a result he ends up having to take a back seat to Brahne and Kuja, a pair of far more typical and less interesting characters that are just blatant cartoon villains that the game forces upon you, especially Kuja.

Garland "...Then show me! Lecture me again when you are on the verge of death!"

[A Silver Dragon descends between Garland and your team of characters: Battle vs. the Silver Dragon. It gets defeated and destroyed. The screen returns to the group]

This is apparently the same Silver Dragon that we have seen Kuja riding before, unless it's a different one, but considering how the dragon that Kuja rides disappears after disk 2 and Kuja has to use an airship at that point, I'd say this is definitely that same dragon, which just raises a question that isn't answered.

Zidane "Garland, tell me... What is it that you want to accomplish?"

Garland "The restoration of Terra! Isn't it obvious!?"

Zidane "No! That's what the people of Terra want." "Why aren't you asleep with the rest of them?"

Garland "I was created to oversee Terra..." "I exist to wait for a time when this world is without life or death..." "I am the absolute controller of this planet!"

Okay? Because we thought you were living to resettle the Terrans on Gaia.
Again, Sakaguchi decided to cheat as much as possible.

So what is Garland? An android or a Terran clone like the Genomes? Garland doesn't seem to have a tail so it's unclear, they couldn't have just made him a Terran that occasionally went into hibernation or crystal stasis

[Boss Battle: Garland vs. the 4 characters. At the end, he goes "Ugh!" and falls to the ground. He's defeated, but still alive. The screen changes back to the platform they're all on]

Garland "You fight well..."

Zidane "Give it up, Garland!"

…Really? Garland is on the ground just like that? With all the hype surrounding him, especially with how Kuja was trying to get Alexander just to fight Garland, I think Garland should have just been a tad harder, sure we have two summoners here to use Eidolons on Garland but none of them are as strong Alexander, and Garland has the Invincible to take over the Eidolons and use them against the others. (and before anyone says that Kuja has the Invincible right now, I already explained earlier above about how that makes no sense, Garland doesn't have an alarm on that thing to let him know when someone other then him is using it?) Zidane doesn't even awaken any of his powers that are supposed to be superior to Kuja to overpower Garland.

[Red energy radiates from Garland's body]

What is the meaning of this red energy? It's never explained.

Garland "!?"

Zidane "What the-"

[FMV. The Invincible is flying overhead]

[The screen changes to inside the Invincible; Kuja is standing there]

Kuja "Hahahahaha!" "This is too easy!" "The Invincible is mine! Now, I have the power to control all souls!" "Garland gave me everything without a fight." "The old fool was too busy dealing with him."

Again, this makes no sense, we saw the Invincible take off in Bran Bal, way before Zidane went to Pandemonium to see Garland, therefore, Garland wasn't too busy to notice the Invincible flying off without him controlling it, this is stupid.

Kuja "Now, only death awaits him." "Poor Garland... Bitten by his own dog..." "This is no accident." "Fate has chosen me to become the new ruler of Terra!" "Time for me to put on the finishing touches."

More cliché monologuing from Kuja.

[Kuja walks out of the room. The screen changes to the platform; Kuja descends from above and lands between Garland and the group of heros]

The way Kuja descends from the Invincible here implies that the airship has a tractor beam on it, which just raises the question of why Garland didn't use this to take back Zidane when Alexander was dealt with when he had the chance, or at any other point really.

Kuja "I must say... I truly love you all." "You not only broke the seal to Terra, but did me the favor of defeating Garland!"

Which begs the question of why you even needed to have that whole hunt for the Eidolons and needlessly complicated set up with Brahne in the first place. (Which will be made even more pointless by what we are about to see in a few moments)

Kuja "Zidane... You are truly an extraordinary Genome, deserving of my love!"

Well he was made to be better than you, which you are in denial of, Kuja.

Zidane "What are you doing here, Kuja!?"

Is that really a question that you don't already know the answer to, Zidane?

Kuja "That's not a very nice way to greet your brother."

Zidane "Shut up! You're no brother of mine!"

[Kuja turns around and walks up to Garland]

Kuja "Oh, such ferocity... Master Garland, he intends to fight Terra."

Garland "Kuja... What are you scheming?"

Kuja "Scheming? Me? Watch me as I defeat these enemies of Terra!" [He turns to face the heros] "Come on, now! You may sleep alongside the souls of Terra." "For all eternity!"

[Boss Battle vs. Kuja. At the end, he says "Ugh!" followed by "Th-The time is now." Strands of electricity shoot all around his body, and his hair turns red, not to mention his clothes changing. "This...is the power of Trance!"; "Hmph..."; "I'll show you all my true power!" He casts Ultima, which hits everyone for huge damage. The battle is then ended]

Yep, Kuja has trance now, and I've already repeatedly talked about the issues of how this was just a in-battle gameplay mechanic that was never talked about outside of battle or had a lore surrounding it, but then arbitrarily became a major plot point at the last minute. But it also renders Kuja's whole plan to get Alexander and the Eidolons, which took up roughly over two thirds of the whole game, completely pointless. Instead of wasting time with trying to get the Eidolons, he could have focused on getting Trance this whole time, and I've already said before how it makes no sense that Kuja didn't know anything about it before Mount Gulug (and even then, that wasn't an actual trance, Mog was just reassuming it's true form as Madeen, the Eidolon) when even Steiner of all people had some knowledge about it, Kuja even has a library in the Desert Palace that has to have some books on Trance.

We also never get an Ultima spell to use like Kuja in IX.

[Screen resumes on the platform. The four heros are sprawled out on the floor, defeated; Garland is still on his hands and knees. Only Kuja, in his Trance Form, is standing]

Kuja "Yes! This is the power I've longed for!" "The mighty power of souls! They assault any threat that tries to destroy them!"

"Souls attack any threat that tries to destroy them"? What is the threat for them?

Zidane "Wh-What do you mean...?"

Kuja "It's Trance! You know how it works." "But a normal Trance won't be enough to defeat you... You're all as resilient as oglops." "Even tiny moogles possess the power of Trance... When I saw that in Gulug Volcano, I came up with a plan."

Oh bullshit, as I've already stated, THAT WASN'T TRANCE! Mog was an Eidolon that was just taking on it's real form.

Kuja "It was easy. I just needed to borrow the power from wretched souls that can't die..."

If they are souls then they are already dead. Seriously, this wording is so stupid.

Kuja "Where did I acquire it? It was the Invincible, or should I say, that large eyeball in the sky?" "The ship sucked up the souls of Madain Sari, the Iifa Tree, Alexandria to feed upon them..."

Ugh… what? What are the souls doing in the Invincible if they have to be captured by the Iifa Tree's roots? Why does the Invincible need souls at all? (Why is the Invincible being talked about as if it were a living creature all of a sudden?) What the heck is going on here? They really just made it up as they went along, didn't they?

Kuja "When it fought Bahamut at the Iifa Tree, the Invincible drew in a powerful spirit... Can you guess to whom it belonged?"

Dagger "No…"

Kuja "That's right! It was your mother's soul. A wretched soul that clung to life to the bitter end."

That doesn't even make sense, first off, when Brahne was attacked by Bahamut, she didn't immediately die, she washed up on the shores of the Outer Continent in her "escape pod" and died on the beach, long after Kuja and the Invincible had left, so her soul should not have wound up inside it.

Secondly, didn't Brahne say she was "free of that awful greed" before she died? So Kuja's claims here are bullshit. Also why is he singling Brahne out as a "powerful soul"? The summoners who could communicate with nature and summon the Eidolons don't count as well?

And thirdly, this whole plot point doesn't really go anywhere. Okay so Brahne and some of the summoners and etc. are inside Kuja, but this is never brought up again, and we don't even see Brahne and the others appear as spirits later, so it's a completely pointless detail.

Kuja "The souls trapped inside the Invincible welcomed me with open arms." "They were fed up with being your prisoners, Garland."

That makes even less sense, why would they "welcome Kuja with open arms"? Kuja is part of the reason they were in there in the first place and was clearly going to abuse them for his own ends and cause more suffering to others, though Kuja is probably just bullshitting this part.

Kuja "So, Master Garland. You are no longer needed. And after you've worked so hard..." "I shall rule Terra and Gaia with my unconditional love from now on..."

Just have M. Bison from the live action Street Fighter movie shout out "OF COURSE!" already.

Garland "What will you do with such...power?"

Kuja "Master Garland... You, of all people, should accept defeat gracefully." [He kicks Garland in the stomach]

Garland "Gragh!"

Kuja "How sad... Any last words?"

Garland "Your power is...meaningless."

Kuja "..."

[Kuja kicks Garland off the platform]

Garland "GRAAAHHHHHH!"

And now we are ripping off the scene from FFVI where Kefka kicks Gestahl off of the Floating Continent, though to be fair to IX in this case, it does subvert it in just a moment.

Kuja [Turns around to face Zidane & company] "Now, it's your turn... Should I kill you quickly to show my appreciation for all you've done?" "Or should I kill you slowly and painfully to show you my love..." "Oh, I've got a great idea! How's this? I'll make you pillars for my castle!" "You'll all decorate my castle as a symbol of my eternal kingdom... How do you like that?"

Okay cool it, edgy mc. edgerton, the only thing missing with this one-dimensional dick is a devilish laugh. Yet in just a few lines it will suddenly act like Kuja is supposed to be sympathetic and tries to make you "feel bad" for him.

Zidane "No... Never!"

"You could never build an eternal kingdom..."

Kuja "That voice... Garland!?" "Did you leave something behind?"

How is Garland able to speak as a disembodied voice? Never explained.

"Do you think a defect like you could last forever...?"

Kuja "...What? What do you mean!?"

"I built you to last only until the worthy Genome, Zidane, grew." "It was too dangerous to let you last any longer than that."

Kuja "What are you saying...?"

"There's a limit on your life... You'll be dead soon..." "Even as I die, you'll have died without ever leaving your mark on the world..."

And this is Garland speaking, who is more than aware that Kuja on Gaia did such a effed up thing that this planet has never seen before. Yes, of course he "left no mark".

Kuja "..." "H-Ha ha ha... What an interesting lie. You're telling me that my life will end soon?" "Ha ha ha... Nice try, Garland, but I won't fall for your silly tricks... Garland?" "..." "Garland!? Answer me!"

"You were created to destroy. You are a mortal..."

Kuja "A mortal...?" "...I'm finished?"

What made Kuja think that he wasn't?

Kuja "I don't believe you! Why would I believe such a silly story!" "You're telling me that I'll die soon, now that I'm more powerful than anyone?" "I'm gonna...die!?" "Lose my soul...?" "Ha... HAHAHAHAHAHA!" "What comedy! Zidane, isn't it hilarious!? I'll die just like the black mages I so despise!" "I single-handedly brought chaos unto Gaia, but in the end, I'm nothing but a worthless doll!"

Yes because causing devastation and the deaths of many people is something to be "so proud of", wow, what a "sympathetic and complex character" folks.

Vivi [who's off screen] "Kuja..." "...Kuja?"

Oh piss off Vivi, why are you acting like Kuja is suddenly supposed to be felt bad for? Along with all the stuff he's done before, just a few seconds ago Kuja was bragging about how he was going to torture you and the others and use your bodies as part of a castle. Don't give me that "Garland "programmed" him to be an asshole" nonsense, because what Garland said early in the chapter says otherwise and even if he did, he would have also programmed Kuja to not turn against him. Garland at least had sympathetic motivations, while Kuja's amount to being a petty manchild with serious special snowflake syndrome having a temper tantrum because he can't have everything. If anything, this is more like karma and catharsis. Boo freaking hoo.

Kuja "...I won't let it happen." "I won't... I won't let this world exist without me!"

And now Kuja affects to the banal "if not me, then nobody" junk.

[Kuja levitates into the air]

[FMV. Kuja rises into the air, yellow energy radiating all around him. He lifts his hand, and fires an ultima blast at a tree, destroying it. Another purplish blast is fired, destroying more. He continues to send out dozens of blasts, as Terra's trees fall amidst a sea of fire. We then see an overview of Terra, COMPLETELY on fire, as everything begins to fall apart]

Apparently Kuja is just pissed off enough to set the ENTIRE planet on fire. He raged so hard, the floor turned into lava, yeah. I think the writers just a tad overdid it with how powerful Kuja's Trance form is supposed to be. Also considering that Terra is inside Gaia, inside out with it basically being the inner layer of Gaia's shell (look up the picture from the Ultimania that makes this clearer) shouldn't what Kuja is doing here be affecting Gaia as well? Causing tremors and volcanos to erupt?

[The screen returns to Zidane running into a new screen]

Zidane "Kuja... I can't believe him...!"

…Really? With how much of a moustache twirling cartoon character Kuja is, you should have been expecting this.

[Eiko runs on screen]

Eiko "Zidane! We gotta get out of here before this tower collapses!"

Zidane "But how...? We need to carry the injured out, too."

Eiko "Let's steal Kuja's ship, the Invincible! It's at the bottom of the tower."

It's Garland's ship, not Kuja's, get the facts straight and stop trying to make everything about him.

Zidane "Oh yeah... But..." "Alright, you guys head for the ship!"

Eiko "!?"

Zidane "I'm gonna rescue the Genomes! They're victims. I can't just abandon them!"

To Kuja? Because Garland didn't do anything wrong to them, they just didn't get their souls yet from the Crystal like they were supposed to, but the writers don't even seem to be paying attention to their own "soul rules".

[Dagger runs on screen]

Dagger "I'm coming with you!"

Zidane "Dagger!?"

Dagger "I don't want you to leave us again..." "So, I'll keep watch over you!"

Can't you just say it's because you love him? Also what you said is something Zidane should have said to you in Disk 1 and 2.

Speaking of the poorly done love story…

Zidane "...Okay. We should be able to go back through the warp gate on the other tower!"

How do you know there is one there? Is it the same one you went through when you came to the entrance of Pandemonium?

Zidane "Dagger and I will head back to Bran Bal. You guys come get us on the Invincible!"

[Zidane runs along a path, eventually coming to a massive teleporter]

Dagger "Looks like a teleporter leading to the upper levels..." "It might take us back to Bran Bal."

[Two eyeballs beside the teleporter open up]

What is the purpose of those eyes anyways?

Zidane "Ahhh!"

Dagger "What's wrong?"

Zidane "B-Behind you..."

[She turns around and sees the eyes]

Dagger "They're just eyes. It's okay. Let's go."

Zidane "Just eyes...?" "How very bold of you..."

[Zidane joins Dagger on the teleporter]

Zidane "U-Um... Dagger?"

Dagger "Yes?"

Zidane "Um... About what happened earlier..."

Dagger "What is it, Zidane?"

Zidane "Oh, geez... I feel like I'm being watched."

Dagger "Just say it! We need to hurry."

Zidane "Um... You came to my rescue, right?" "And... Uh..." "What you said to me... It made me really happy..."

Dagger "Zidane..."

Zidane "How can I say this...? Um..."

[They suddenly teleport away. The screen goes black]

"Thanks..."

And this is the forced scene I was talking about earlier at the end of the "you are not alone" scene.

Rather than actually having the "you are not alone" scene be solely on Zidane and Garnet (like with Cloud's subconscious in FFVII) and emphasizing their love, it's just made into a cheesy friendship speech with everyone else budding in, and the game throwing this half-assed "romantic" scene in our faces afterwards.

[The screen fades back in on a section of Pandemonium. Eiko runs on screen, followed by the others]

Eiko "Hurry! Hurty! This dinky old tower is gonna collapse any minute!"

[They all run off screen. Amarant walks. Quina walks even slower, and then stops]

Quina "...I no find good food on Terra." "Maybe I eat eyeball over there..."

[Freya runs back on screen]

Freya "Quina, hurry up, or you'll be left behind!"

Quina "I happy we leave. No good food anywhere..."

Yeeesh, Sakaguchi demonstrates his screenwriting skills again. The planet is being devastated, and then we watch Quina want to eat something, and Zidane acts askance at eyes looking at him. Because it's "so relevant and so exciting"!

[Quina runs off screen. The screen changes to the portal that connect Pandemonium to Bran Bal; Zidane and Dagger teleport on screen]

Zidane "I think we're still okay."

Dagger "Let's evacuate the Genomes!"

[They head for, and enter, Bran Bal]

Dagger "Zidane, let's split up!"

Zidane "Yeah! I'll go this way! We'll meet up when the Invincible arrives!"

Yeah because I'm sure you two are going to be able to convince soulless husks to listen to you and move.

[Screen fades to black. Resumes inside the Invincible; Eiko and company, minus Quina, run in]

How did they get into the Invincible, wasn't it still floating high in the air when Kuja showed up, and didn't we see the group going down the tower last time we saw them?

Eiko "My gosh... This ship is enormous!"

Steiner "Judging from our current position, I believe the bridge is that way!"

Freya "Hold it! Where is Quina!?"

Eiko "Aaargh! Is s/he late again!?"

[A teleporter springs to life, as Quina is teleported up, and runs to the group]

Quina "Ho ho ho! I arrive!" "I warp inside from bottom of ship!"

Vivi "Why were you underneath the ship in the first place...?"

I think the better question is how did you all get on it in the first place?

Freya "Save it for later! We must get the ship moving!"

And how exactly are they going to be able to work this airship without a person from Terra onboard? This is technology that is far more advanced than the Gaia airships.

[Everyone runs to the bridge. The screen changes to the Underground Laboratory; the only person there is the girl from before. Zidane runs down the stairs]

Zidane "What are you still doing here!? We need to evacuate."

Girl "What's the point? They're only empty vessels..."

Zidane "Stop talking like that! Do you really believe what you just said!?"

Girl "...Unlike the rest of them, Garland gave me a soul, that I might replace you and Kuja."

Well screw this. Where is the timer on Zidane then? What is the point of Mikoto's soul if she does nothing with it and remains the same zombie fool as all the other genomes and doesn't display any superpowers like Zidane and Kuja? Why is this a thing at all? Why is she needed? This plot point goes nowhere.

Girl "But Garland is dead. Terra will soon be destroyed. What's the point?"

Except that Gaia and Terra are going to fuse, if anything, what Kuja is doing right now is just speeding up the process.

Zidane "I asked myself the same question..."

Girl "Did you find an answer?"

Zidane "No... But maybe the point is to just try." "It's gonna be hard... but I've got my friends. It isn't so bad."

Again with the annoying "friendship" speeches, are you even trying to single out and emphasize your love for Garnet?

Girl "..."

Zidane "Hey, what's your name?"

Girl "Huh?"

Zidane "Garland gave you a name, didn't he?"

Girl "My name is...Mikoto."

Zidane "Mikoto, huh? That's a nice name... A lot of people are gonna call you that from now on." "You have to find the answer yourself. It'll be hard, but you can do it." "Let's go to the new world, Mikoto! There, you can find your answer..."

Yeah, yeah, stop trying to pretend that you are deep Zidane and hyping up this pointless last minute character, your dialogue is so cliché.

Skipping ahead.

[Screen returns to inside the Invincible]

Zidane "We made it..."

Freya "Yes, we managed to escape from Terra, but..."

Zidane "What's wrong, Freya?"

Freya "Well, I was talking to Amarant about it earlier..."

Amarant "You don't think this is the end, do you?"

Zidane "...Are you talking about Kuja?"

Amarant "Do you really think he perished with Terra?"

Freya "Even with his power, it's hard to believe that he'd have escaped unscathed..."

Amarant "What do you think, Zidane? What will Kuja do next?"

Zidane "...He'll probably try to destroy Gaia..."

Freya "But how?"

Zidane "There was one thing Garland said..." "Something about a tree that serves as a gateway of souls between Gaia and Terra..."

Uh, why doesn't Kuja just spam Ultima spells on Gaia like he did in Terra?

Amarant "That must be..."

Zidane "Yeah... It's the Iifa Tree."

Steiner "Everyone!" [Steiner runs on screen] "You must come look! Come with me!"

Zidane "What's up, Steiner? Can't you just tell us?"

Steiner "It would be faster to come see it on the bridge!"

[Everyone runs to the bridge. What they see is white clouds under them...or so they think...]

Freya "What's up? They're just clouds."

Dagger "It's not a normal cloud..."

Zidane "What...? Let's lower our altitude and see."

Steiner "Don't you see? Our altitude is not very high. And this is all we can see!"

Zidane "Then what could it be..."

Vivi "It's Mist..." "It's what black mages are made out of, and what used to cover the Mist Continent..."

And are actually souls, thus meaning that Vivi and the Black Mages are dead people that have been temporarily resurrected but the characters will just gloss over this for pretentious "philosophical" ramblings.

Dagger "The Mist...has covered all of Gaia..."

Zidane "Why...? How?" "Kuja... What are you planning now!?"

First off, how is the Iifa Tree expelling Mist again when the Soul Cage has been destroyed? Secondly, what makes you think Kuja had anything to do with this? Even if he did, how was he able to get back to the Iifa Tree so quickly?

End of Chapter 26.

End of Disk 3.

Disk 3 is finally finished, now on to the final disk where the writers just did drugs.