Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 22: Insecure Footage
(Scene Change: Sweetwater Manor, 9:15 PM)
After Luan dried her hands off, she said into the bathroom's hidden camera, "Locking Lincoln out of the house over being bad luck? Comedy. Gold," before laughing into the camera. She then said, "I don't get why he ran away over that. I mean, just look at him! He looks adorable in that squirrel suit! He needs to learn to lighten up & laugh about it. Oh, he's so cute in that squirrel suit!", right before the screen faded to black.
Everyone in the room stared at the screen, jaws agape. Ronnie Anne's eye twitched as she seethed, "Comedy gold? Seriously? Comedy? Gold?"
Lincoln deadpanned, "That's Luan for ya."
The Sweetwaters stared at the screen with their mouths agape, fists trembling in rage.
Becky then scoffed, "So Lisa calculated that you had negative 36% karma, in a 'secret family meeting' no less, just to get you thrown out of the house?"
Paige added, "And she said the only way you had positive karma is if you wore that squirrel suit?"
Lincoln nodded grimly while the rest of those watching clenched their fists and glared at the screen with murderous intent in their eyes.
Everyone but Lincoln yelled at the screen in response, "BULLSHIT!"
Lindsay, Paige, and Becky immediately surrounded Lincoln and gave him a tight group hug for the umpteenth time that night. Ronnie Anne trembled in rage with gritted teeth while sliding her index figure across their throat. Melissa not only mimed Ronnie Anne's throat-slitting gestures, but also suddenly tilted her neck while doing it.
(Time Skip: 9:30 PM)
On the screen, as Lincoln was chased away by Liam's animals while lathered in honey, Luan laughed madly into the camera, "Boy, Lincoln, you really give a whole new meaning to the term, 'animal magnetism,' ha-ha-ha-ha! Get it?", before the screen cut to black on Luan's April Fools' Highlight Reel.
Everyone in the room except for Lincoln stared at the screen in shock, disgust, and horror.
"Oh my god… that's April Fools' Day for you?", Paige asked.
Lincoln deadpanned, "Yup."
As the rest of the Sweetwaters groaned in disgust and disapproval, Becky proclaimed, "There's pranking, and then, there's… whatever that was we just saw! Seriously, how are you alive right now, Little Ace?!"
Linda and Brian winced as they remembered the scars that they had seen at the hospital. They worriedly glanced at Lincoln as Linda asked, "Sweetie, you want to show them? You know, what we saw at the hospital?"
Lincoln blushed, "What? I don't…"
However, Paige ran to Lincoln's side and reassured him, "Lincoln, it's OK. We won't judge you, promise!"
Ronnie Anne, catching onto the implications, scoffed as she muttered under her breath, "Tramp."
Lincoln, now extremely anxious, muttered, "OK", before taking off his shirt and pants. Upon seeing the scars and bruises all over Lincoln's body, the Sweetwater sisters, Melissa, and Ronnie Anne immediately screamed. The Sweetwater sisters themselves were rendered speechless as they grew queasy. However, they ultimately managed to hold their food down.
Melissa cried, "Oh my god!"
Ronnie Anne gasped and exclaimed, "¡Dios mío!"
Melissa then asked, "Lincoln… if the Louds did all this to you, how come your scars are duller than they should be?"
Lincoln explained, "I get injured in family fights a lot, especially by Lynn Jr. However, whenever one of us gets injured, Lisa usually heals us up quickly."
Becky mused, "So that's why Lynn Jr. is just better the next day after all her major sports injuries."
Lincoln nodded, "Yup."
He then explained, "It also helps that Lisa keeps records of not just my injuries, but all our injuries, and I quote, 'for scientific and medical examination purposes'. Really, however, part of the reason she does it is to experiment on our pain responses."
While Ronnie Anne and the Sweetwaters winced in disgust at that revelation, Melissa responded, "Interesting. I'll have to find and look into those files if I get a chance. If Lisa doesn't have them on these USB keys, I could always hack into the Loud family cloud."
While Lincoln dismissed Melissa's words as a joke, the Sweetwaters muttered amongst themselves, "No kidding."
Lincoln then asked, "Can I please put my clothes back on now?"
Brian, who had just been texting Dr. Chase to send over Lincoln's medical files from his hospital visit, told him, "Y-yes, Lincoln. Go ahead."
After Lincoln put on his clothes, everyone leaned back into their chairs before Brian asked Melissa, "You mind getting the next tape for us?"
Melissa said, "Sure," before walking over to the bag and pulling out another USB key labelled, "L.I.S.A." Melissa shuddered at the label of the USB key, but decided to go through with it anyways. After putting in the "L.I.S.A." USB key in Brian's computer, Melissa searched for the eponymous video file she was looking for. When she found it, she double-clicked on it.
Video starts
Title Card: L.I.S.A. – Lesson In Secret Assignments
JUNE 2016
Within Lisa's room, a colossal three-foot-tall, wall-mounted monitor engulfed the would-be pitch-black room in a hazy, omniscient deep blue, leaving no corner of the room untouched. And yet, there Lisa sat, transfixed to the monitor as if daring it to blink in this unannounced staring contest. And on occasion, it would, marked by an extra pixel of blue showing up in a white progress bar.
As the white progress bar continued its ever-so-slow march from the left side of the screen to the right side of the screen, Lily stood from inside her crib, leaning her head from side to side, searching desperately for what could possibly be so exciting that Lisa could stare at it forever without moving.
Lily babbled, "Sa sa?"
Lisa muttered, "Not now, Lily." Lily groaned, crossed her arms and plopped herself down angrily in response, to which Lisa sighed, "it's only a couple pixels-… one pixel."
Lisa was so desperate for the progress bar to move that her eyes tricked her into believing that the progress bar moved, purely out of desperation to just let her body rest. Every muscle in her body began de-tensing as her body began to sway from side to side, begging her, Please, please don't break. As Lisa's body swayed from side to side, the screen blinked one final time, before switching off, leaving Lisa and Lily in the now pitch-black room.
Lisa, who was barely awake prior to the flash, blurted out, "Wha-what just happened?", as she shook herself awake. As she did, she noticed a small blue light just like the monitor illuminating a white cord to her right. Following the cord from behind the monitor, Lisa trailed her eyes down over the console to her feet, where her phone lay. Coating Lisa's face in the same hazy blue hue, and on the screen, it simply read, "Transfer Completed".
As Lisa read these words out, she cheered, "I-it's finished! Lily! It's finished! Lily?"
Unfortunately, Lily appeared as transfixed to the monitor as Lisa was. This instilled pure unadulterated panic in Lisa as she rushed over to Lily's crib, madly alternating between snapping her fingers and flailing her hands in Lily's face.
"Lily! Control to Lily! Do you copy? Lily!?", Lisa fretted.
As Lily provided no response, a horrified Lisa's eyes shrunk as she whispered, "Oh no, no, no, no… no! Not again! Not-".
However, as Lisa began to fear the worst, Lily giggled to life, "Sa sa! Hehehe," as she reached her arms through her crib, her hands toiling to merely touch Lisa.
Lisa sighed in relief before exclaiming, "That's what I like to see! Now, let's see whether this tech really works!"
As Lisa proceeded to log into her phone to look for her files, Lily exclaimed, "Me! I wannah," as she desperately clawed at Lisa's phone through the crib bars.
Lisa smiled in adoration before conceding, "Alright, alright, you can have the honours, but first I have to find all of them." When she found what she was looking for, Lisa cheered, "Ah! There they are!" She then turned the display towards Lily and instructed her, "Just press one of the squares with your finger, like this, okay?"
Instantly, Lily cooed and pushed on the phone repeatedly in a joyous fashion, causing it to vibrate as it switched to a new app. When Lisa checked what Lily pressed, she worriedly asked, "Mr Gromkiy?"
However, Lisa would be shaken out of her thoughts as she heard the door knock. For a split second, she froze, hoping the person at the door would simply go away.
Unfortunately for Lisa, said person asked, "Are you OK?"
Lisa grumbled to herself, "Ugh, of course, who else could it be?!", before turning to the intruder and asking, "What is it, Lincoln?"
Lincoln explained sheepishly, "W-well, Mom said it's Lily's bathtime."
Lisa checked the time on her phone to confirm whether what Lincoln was saying was true. When she saw the notification that it was indeed Lily's bathtime, a despondent frown crept across her face as she uttered to herself, "Even after starting early, I still haven't anything to show for it."
"Sa sa?" Lily inquired, mirroring Lisa's worry.
Lincoln interrupted the both of them, "Sorry Lise, mom's orders."
Knowing that Lily couldn't see her worried, Lisa carefully took Lily out of her crib and handed her to Lincoln as she despondently replied, "Yes, Lincoln."
Wanting to cheer Lisa up, Lincoln suggested, "Hey, Lily! Why don't you give Lisa a goodbye?"
Lily lit up, saying, "Bai bai Li-", before Rita interrupted her, "Lincoln! The bathtub isn't getting any warmer!"
Lincoln promised in response, "Shoot, u-uhm, coming!", before reassuring Lisa, "I'll bring her back to you as soon as she's done!"
Lisa grumbled blankly, "That would be nice," as Lincoln hurried off to the bathroom.
As Lisa was left with her own thoughts, she buried her face in her hands and rested her arms upon the walls of the crib. As she did, her nose touched a space-themed mobile dangling above, complete with a tiny Earth model, a teeny rocket ship, and a microscopic alien spacecraft. Just for the heck of it, Lisa reached underneath the crib, flicking a tiny switch that made the mobile start spinning gently, as a tinny tune began to play.
As the tune played, Lisa murmured longingly, "One day, we're gonna be in that little rocket ship Lily, and we'll go somewhere that, that alien, along with all its friends could never touch us, whatever it takes, whatever…"
Lisa's contemplations were interrupted by her room door being slammed open. A frustrated Lisa defiantly roared, "Begone!", as she aimed her finger behind her back in the door's general direction.
This stunned Lynn Jr. into stuttering, "H-hey! T-take it easy! I-it's just me! Lynn!"
Lisa growled, "I know!", as she twisted her head around to meet Lynn, who was currently cowering behind Lisa's door, being sure to put on a friendly smile for her. Lisa rolled her eyes at Lynn Jr. before continuing, "You have mere seconds to explain yourself, sporty."
Lynn Jr. stammered, "Seconds?! But that's not-"
Lisa began counting down, "Three."
Lynn Jr. hurriedly said, "Oh shit! U-uhm, okay so, we're all kinda sick of Lincoln lately, right? I mean, everything the kid touches just dies really-"
Lisa continued, "Two."
Lynn Jr. continued, "S-so I was thinking just now, 'hey! Why don't we do something about that? Right?!"
Lisa menacingly warned, "One-", before Lynn Jr. blabbered desperately, "Oh c'mon Lisa! I know you want him gone! All of us gone!" When Lynn Jr. realized just how loudly she had shouted that, she sheepishly covered her mouth.
Lynn Sr. chimed in from the kitchen, "Gone? Lisa is that true?", making Lisa freeze solid on the spot.
Lisa nervously rationalized, "U-Uhm, no father! She must be talking about when I'm doing schoolwork! In which case, yes it is true that I would prefer not to be bothered!"
Lynn Sr. shrugged it off, "Oh! Well, I guess that makes sense," before crying out, "Anyhow, speaking voices please!"
Lisa replied with a faux smile, "Yes," before snapping her gaze up at Lynn.
After Lisa snapped her fingers behind her, where a lone study desk and a puny chair sat, Lynn obliged and took a seat. This allowed Lisa to peer just outside her room, spotting several doors peering at Lisa from behind their doors. But after giving them all the stink eye, they all cowered back inside their rooms, slamming them shut. After waiting a moment, Lisa did the same. She trotted off to her computer chair and promptly climbed on top, swivelling around and meeting Lynn just barely fitting on her comparatively puny seat.
Lisa then narrowed her eyes at Lynn as she uttered on the verge of a scowl, "Speak."
Lynn Jr. sighed, "Alright, so I may have eavesdropped on what you were talking about, just a teeny bit! However, I was gonna come in anyway to talk to you about Lincoln regardless."
Lisa snapped, "What about Lincoln?"
Lynn Jr. admitted, "Well, I've been thinking about getting rid of the kid for a while now"
Lisa raised a brow, "You have?"
Lynn Jr. explained bitterly, "Tsk, yeah! Ever since Lucy went 'freakazoid' I've been gunning for him!"
A stunned Lisa asked, "Are you implying she wasn't always goth?"
Lynn Jr. shouted, "Not even close to being a goth, if that's what you wanna call it. If anything, she was looking up to being a Lynn Jr., Jr.! Marcus Quick posters and everything!"
Lisa narrowed her eyes, "I see. Continue."
Lynn Jr. explained with a forlorn frown, "Yeah, some time ago just before you showed up, Lucy picked up on some of Lame-o's comics. After a while, she didn't wanna play catch with me, or do anything anymore. She's gotten a little better, yeah, but I haven't seen her come to the couch to watch a game with me in a long time."
Lisa pondered, "So what you're saying is, Lincoln is the reason Lucy is chronically depressed?"
Lynn Jr. sheepishly responded, "Uhm, yeah. I guess that's what I'm saying, huh?"
Lisa stared Lynn Jr. down as she contemplatively said, "Hmph, interesting."
Lynn Jr. saw the look on Lisa's face and grinned gruesomely, "L-look, Lisa, I've seen how you get on with Lily, and after witnessing Lincoln steal my roomie? I think it's about time we showed him a little taste of his own medicine, hm?"
"Hmm," Lisa hummed in thought, "Tempting, very tempting offer."
Lynn Jr. blurted out, "But?"
Lisa began, "While you are correct in the assumption that I wish to protect Lily, her wishes are her own."
A startled Lynn Jr. pled, "B-but Lisa! Don't you get what's gonna happen?"
Lisa pointed out, "I know enough. Besides, if Lily's want is to be Lincoln's 'roomie,' then who am I to deny her that wish?"
Lynn Jr.'s eye twitched as she jumped out of her chair before clamouring, "No, you don't! Clearly, you don't! Because if you did, then you'd want that walking jinx gone ASAP!"
Lisa indignantly scowled in response, "Fix your tone right now or I'll do it for you with an audience watching."
Lynn Jr. just scowled right back at her, "The Sister Fight Protocol, that Sadie Hawkins Dance, the Sweet Spot deal, what he almost said to Lori on her voicemail, the garage sale, Ronnie Anne! Just- fucking Ronnie Anne, Lisa! Just her alone! And just yesterday, my game! That he attended! And you're just okay with Lincoln taking Lily?! The kid is a certified LIFE RUINER!"
"ENOUGH!" Lisa screeched, huffing and puffing as her breath slowly came to her, "I've heard enough… now, was there anything else?"
Lynn Jr. narrowed her eyes at Lisa, mimicking a look of pity, as she shook her head, "No, I'm finished."
Lisa said, "Then I suggest you leave, ASAP," before shooting her finger towards her door.
Lynn Jr. conceded, "Okay, I'll go," as she walked towards Lisa's door. She then turned back to face Lisa and snapped, "But realize this, Lisa: You're gonna have to choose eventually: Lily? Or nothing? Because let's face it, you're nothing without Lily, nothing."
Lynn Jr. then slammed the door behind her as she left Lisa to sit there, cold and alone. However, as Lynn Jr. left Lisa's room, she was greeted by a fuming Rita, Lincoln, and Lily.
Lynn Jr. joked sheepishly, "What seems to be the problem? Officer? Eheh, get it?", but all that did was harden the trio's glares.
Lynn Jr. quickly saw this and nervously asked, "H-how much did you guys hear back there?"
Lincoln snapped, "Oh! Not too much actually, life ruiner," making Lynn gulp.
Rita then scolded, "And just to make it official, you're grounded, effective immediately," Rita scolded.
Lynn Jr. gasped before whining, "But mom-!"
Rita shouted back, "Nope! Just head straight to your room! Pronto!"
Lynn Jr. started, "But-", before Rita interrupted her, "Now!", making Lynn Jr. groan in agony.
As Lynn Jr. walked off, Rita added, "And no attitude, either!", causing Lynn Jr. to ball up her fists in rage. As Lynn Jr. stormed off into her room, Lily blew a raspberry at her, causing Lynn Jr. to groan and slam her room door shut.
When Lynn Jr. entered her room, Lucy grinned slyly at her, "So, how did it go?"
Lynn Jr. growled, "Shut up, spooky."
Meanwhile, Rita gingerly stepped inside Lisa's room, and saw the forlorn look on Lisa's face as she motionlessly sat on her high chair.
A concerned Rita began, "Hey sweetie, you okay there?"
Lisa answered while nodding mindlessly, "Yeah, I'm functional."
Rita groaned before spreading her arms wide and beckoning, "C'mon, I need these too sometimes."
Lisa sighed before obliged, dragging her feet across the carpet all the way into Rita's arms, much to her delight as she scooped Lisa into her chest.
As Rita held Lisa, she asked with a sweet smile, "Now, isn't that better?"
Lisa nodded, "Yes, it-," before stopping when she saw Lily giggling gleefully in Rita's arms as she toiled to grasp at Lisa. This made Rita chuckle, "Oh, don't worry, Lily! I'll bring Lisa back as soon as she's done with her business at her university! Isn't that right, sweetie?"
However, as Lily grasped at Lisa, Lisa intensely ogled both Lincoln & Lily, thinking to herself repeatedly, Lincoln or Lily?
This unnerved both Lincoln and Rita, and caused the latter to ask Lisa, "Sweetie? Is something wrong?"
Lisa offered no response, causing Rita to worriedly ask, "Lisa?"
Lisa still offered no response as she worried about Lily, causing Rita to concernedly yell, "Lisa!"
Lisa quickly shook herself awake before explaining melancholically, "Huh? Oh, sorry, I was, thinking."
Rita assured Lisa, "That's okay, sweetie. Now, the man at your university said he wanted to see you as soon as possible. So, yeah, whenever you're ready, we'll go. Alright, sweetie?"
Lisa gasped, "Someone wants to see me? At the university?", before she remembered who wanted to see her and said in understanding, "Wait, ah, I see."
Rita replied, "Well, better not keep him waiting."
The two then walked towards Vanzilla before driving to the University of Michigan's Chemistry Building.
(Time Skip: 45 minutes later, University of Michigan Chemistry Building)
As soon as Vanzilla pulled up in front of the Chemistry Building's entrance, Lisa beelined towards the classroom she needed to be at so quickly she forewent her goodbye with Rita. As Lisa skulked the room, Lisa spotted her target right away: A tall, lumbering man wearing a large-collared lab coat that stretched down to his knees, complete with a black turtle neck and sunglasses. Upon spotting him, she scanned the room one more time to ensure no one else was on site. Fortunately, there was no one else there but the two of them, so Lisa decided to approach the man. As she did so, she pulled out a tiny piece of paper and unfolded it carefully while straightening her clothes. Once she met with the man, she handed the piece of paper to the man and cleared her throat thoroughly to get his attention. As the man reviewed the paper, he hummed in thought, deep, thought, before ultimately shaking his head, uttering, "I cannot."
Lisa glared at the man, pointing an ireful finger at him, "You owe me for getting you here in the first place Mr. Gromkiy, or should I say-"
Yovan nervously begged, "I know! I know I do! But listen, I have to go back, they're getting, uh, antsy."
Lisa clenched her fists tightly as she uttered, "How soon?"
Yovan answered meekly, "Uhm, a week? Ish?" This made Lisa let out a low, feral growl as her whole body began rattling with rage.
Yovan saw Lisa's rage and pled, "I-I can do the base amount! B-but no more! I'd be caught for certain otherwise, you see?"
While Lisa didn't like what Yovan said, she figured, better than nothing. After a brief pause, Lisa spat, "Deal", while extending her hand to Yovan.
Yovan shook Lisa's hand vigorously while crying, "Thank you! Thank you, comrade! When you return next time, I will have what you ask! Oh, and same time of course."
Lisa finished, "I expect nothing less."
As Yovan walked away from Lisa, Lisa took one last look around the room before deciding to leave herself. But just as she was about to leave, Lisa spotted something peculiar: a small box wrapped in brown paper with a letter tied to it. After carefully opening the package to not damage the paper, she discovered a rectangular metal box engraved with "261 MCI Pistol mk1" on both its front and back. Lisa's eyes gleamed at the sight, for she now knew exactly what lied inside that metal box.
But just before Lisa opened the box, she instead peeled open the envelope attached to the package. Lisa smirked at the details labelled on the said note, knowing they were all purely fabricated, right down to the stamp. But nonetheless, Lisa pried open the note, also, being cautious in accidentally ripping it. The note read:
"From Mr. Yovan Gromkiy
To Prof Lisa M. Loud, P.h.D.:
I once again apologize for not being able to appear in person, but I'm sure the gift I've brought to you will be compensation enough for my absence, as it is indeed what you asked for. That being an authentic, 261 MCI pistol, complete with two 28-round magazines. I would have obtained more, but the extra one I was able to grab already nearly cost an arm and a leg. I know you already have plenty of experience with micro-electronic technology, so I will not waste ink re-educating you.
However, it is critical that you understand that this is just as deadly as any other air gun of its kind. Albeit heavily handicapped in that regard, it still possesses the power to kill if utilized incorrectly. So if you wish to place a chip in say, the amygdala as you insisted, you must make sure you aim the pistol's barrel right between where the parietal and occipital lobe meet. Otherwise, the target may suffer excessive haemorrhaging, so please be careful, for everyone's sake.
Oh, and in the case the reader of this note is not Prof Lisa M. Loud, your fingerprints are being logged to the appropriate authorities as you are reading this, and you are currently in the process of being detained.
Otherwise, the key to the box should be in the envelope, and instructions on how to remove the chips are on the back.
Sincerely,
Mr. Yovan Gromkiy."
True to his word, the key was contained in the envelope. It was much smaller than Lisa was expecting, but when she inspected the lock on the box, it seemed to be just as small. Lisa knew better than to open the box in public, so she repackaged everything as she found it, called Rita to pick her up, and left the university and headed home as if nothing happened.
Lisa waited for everyone in the house to fall asleep that night before executing her plan. When Lisa saw the entire interior of the house go dark, Lisa grabbed the package from under her bed, grabbed the key from the envelope inside the package, and opened the box.
Lisa's eyes gleamed once again at the glorious sight of what lay before her. Like a fresh newborn, Lisa gingerly lifted the pistol out of the interior, examining the very handsome find. The frame and detailing were made of high-quality black and white polymer plastic, excluding the firing mechanism and the barrel. While the gun reminded Lisa of a Mark VI Ruger, it felt so light and breezy in Lisa's hand that she felt comfortable waving it around with one hand. But Lisa wouldn't let her fascination with the gun distract her from her mission. After Lisa's eyes darted back to the metal box, she pulled out one of the semi-opaque polymer cartridges, and slid it into the grip of the pistol where it belonged.
Lisa deviously smirked to herself, "Now, who's first?", as she scanned her room through the gun's iron sights. And to her shock, her eyes met with those of innocent, sweet Lily.
When Lisa locked eyes with Lily, her gleeful excitement evaporated immediately upon realizing what she was looking and aiming at. She froze before pointing her weapon away from Lily's general direction.
When she did, she gazed down at her hand, holding the weapon, and shook her head vehemently, "No. Not after a test fire at the very least." With those words, Lisa knew who her real first target was.
Lisa then stretched exactly one foot outside her room's door as she creaked it open. Once Lisa could see outside of her room, she scanned the hallway side-to-side as if on a road before tiptoeing swiftly across the hallway and into the bathroom. After flicking the bathroom light on, she then climbed up on top of the sink, standing directly inside the sink, and conveniently, the bathroom mirror. Swinging the mirror open without falling over, Lisa grabbed a tub of numbing cream, rubbing it profusely into the back of her scalp until she couldn't feel herself applying it anymore.
Lisa then put the numbing cream away and closed the bathroom mirror, giving one more good look at herself before anything happened, even managing a snicker at the sight before her. For if even one thing went wrong, all of Lisa's blood, sweat, and tears would all be chalked up to suicide. Determined to not let it end like that, Lisa pulled her hair back with one hand, revealing a single gap of skin in her hair, and aimed the pistol square on that very spot, just like Yovan told her to do.
Taking a deep breath, Lisa closed her eyes so tightly that not a single molecule of light could seep into Lisa's eyes. This meant that if anything at all went wrong, the last thing Lisa would see as she squeezed the trigger, would be pure, all-encompassing, nothingness.
*Click…*
Lisa muttered to herself, "D-did it work? I mean, I didn't feel anything so…", before pausing. As rays of blinding heavenly light peered through the darkness and began to flood Lisa's vision, she began to panic, "Wait. If there really is nothingness, how is there light?! What's going on?!"
However, Lisa's vision cleared up a split-second later, revealing her standing perfectly still, right where she left herself.
"Oh, hello again," Lisa greeted herself in the mirror grumpily, right before hopping off and out of the bathroom, being sure to turn off the light while she did.
Now emboldened, Lisa asked, "Anyhow, who's next?" The Loud pets would get injected next, followed by the Loud parents and every Loud sibling except Lily. After chipping them all, she returned to her room to shoot Lily with her chip. And rather conveniently for Lisa, it was the last shot in her magazine. The thought of shooting Lily even knowing that she would survive still irked Lisa deep down, but after going this deep, Lisa reasoned to herself that she might as well finish the job. She aimed from across the room since Lily's skull wasn't as developed as those of the others, and fired.
For a moment, pure silence filled the room, as Lily appeared to be still as a stone. This deeply frightened Lisa, as with the others, they all at least flinched upon contact, right before going back to snoring again. But Lily was different. Lisa instantly dropped the gun as she made a mad dash to Lily's crib, frantically rocking it as hard as Lisa's arms could muster, "Lily! Please wake up! Please! I'm begging you! Please!"
As Lisa noticed Lily beginning to stir awake, she stopped rocking the crib.
Lily groaned, "Urgh," as she stretched her arms wide open while bellowing out a mighty yawn. Tilting her head to the side, Lily lit up at the sight of Lisa's teary face. Lisa returned the sentiment as she whipped her eyes.
Lisa questioned sweetly, "Hey there little Lily, you okay?"
"Sa sa! Hehe!", Lily giggled, making Lisa laugh too.
Lisa then playfully grinned, "I'm not gonna tell anyone but, I know where your tickle-spot is!"
Lily confoundedly asked, "Ickle Shpot?"
Lisa giggled, "Indeedy doo, and it's right… there!", before springing out and tickling Lily just under her back. This made Lily start giggling madly, flailing her arms around in a desperate attempt to cease Lisa's onslaught.
Thankfully for Lily, Lisa let up before relievedly murmuring, "Alright, looks like you're all set." As soon as she said that, Lisa flicked a little switch underneath Lily's crib, spinning her mobile hanging above as a tinny tune began to play. Lisa left Lily and went back to sleep herself, and life continued in the Loud House as if nothing ever happened.
Video ends
(Scene Change: Sweetwater Manor, 9:45 PM)
Everyone in Brian's office had their jaws dropped in stunned silence.
Lincoln started, "WHAT?!"
Ronnie Anne added, "THE?!"
Lindsay finished, "FRUIT?!"
Lincoln grumbled, "Never knew red considered me a life-ruiner just because spooky wanted to hang out with me more than her. But what do I know? She spent more time in that room than she ever spent with me. Also, red considers me the reason for spooky's depression. You learn something new every day."
Remembering that scene, Paige immediately yelled, "BULLSHIT!"
Becky joined in, "BULLSHIT!"
Melissa added, "ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!"
Brian then asked, "Lincoln... is Lucy depressed?"
Lincoln sighed, "No. She just likes acting that way, all dark & stuff, because she thinks it's cool."
Linda then scowled, "So Lynn Sr. and Rita grounded Lynn Jr. for threatening to get rid of you last summer, Lincoln. Wonder where that was when you were, according to your so-called family, bad luck."
The rest of the room murmured angrily in agreement before Brian asked, "Do we have any more footage to watch?"
Melissa told Brian, "Let me go check." When she walked over to the bag, she pulled out another USB key labelled, "PAYBACK." When she did, she pointed out to Brian, "We got this one."
Linda asked, "Well, what are you waiting for, sweetie? Put it in."
Melissa obliged. After Brian's computer detected the USB key, Melissa searched the flash drive for any video files she could find. When she found an eponymously-named video file, she double-clicked on it.
When the screen came to life, it revealed a somber Lori explaining, "Hey, gang. If you're literally watching this video, that means that as a family, we have literally decided to reveal the truth about Lincoln."
Everyone watching the video groaned before the screen showed Lori continuing, "You may know Lincoln Loud as the adorable sole son of our family of 13. But after watching this footage, I encourage you to literally come to your own conclusions about him. And if you're anything like me, by the time you're finished watching this footage, you will literally understand what to think about Lincoln, and why we as a family act the way we do. I know some of you may think we may be a little rowdy. But I want you to literally think: if Lincoln can act like this, why can't we?"
Leni quickly jumped into the picture and cheered, "Oh, because Mommy & Daddy will get us in trouble!"
Everyone watching the video couldn't help but snicker at that. However, the snickering stopped when Lori exasperatedly said, "Leni, this video is for exposing Lincoln."
Leni gasped before saying, "But Lincoln's only 11! Isn't that like… totes… ewww!"
Lori groaned, "Leni, not like that." As Lori noticed her sister's enthusiasm remain unchanged, she sighed, "Leni, just get in the back. I'll handle this."
Leni chirped, "Oh, OK!", before returning to the back of the room.
Once Leni backed away from the camera, Lori said, "Thank you. Anyway, all backing music by Luna, all footage attributed to Luan Out Loud, LLC and Lisa Loud Enterprises. Enjoy!"
(Time Skip: 9:50 PM)
Becky muttered, "You seriously thought you were going to get famous over showing off your family life?"
Lincoln deadpanned, "Hey, the shows my sisters watch have random people get famous for showing off their home lives all the time. So I thought, might as well."
Everyone in the room groaned at Lincoln before Lindsay stood up for him, "Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game."
The rest of the room stared at Lindsay awkwardly for her words. Melissa decided to relieve the awkwardness by saying, "L-let's just move on," before pressing play on her clicker, resuming the video.
(Time Skip: 9:55 PM)
Lincoln said as Lynn Jr. lunged towards him in a clip, "Pause right there. This is where Lynn Jr. likes to show her expertise on 'throat hugs'."
Lindsay asked, scared, "W-what's a throat hug?"
Lincoln sighed, "Junior shows her love with loving, very tight hugs of one's throat until you're half-passed out. You know what, just press play and you'll understand what I mean."
As Melissa pressed play, everyone in Brian's office saw a compilation of Lynn Jr. giving throat hugs to Lincoln, causing them to gasp before glaring at the screen once more.
Ronnie Anne grumbled, "Oh, next time I see Lynn, I've got a throat hug for her, alright."
(Time Skip: 10:00 PM)
As a compilation of Lynn Jr. giving purple nurples, wedgies, melvins, swirlies, and wet willies ended, everyone watching the video was glaring at the screen.
Lindsay whined, "Lynn Jr. is absolutely uncouth."
Lincoln deadpanned, "Yeah, we know."
Brian stated, "It's just that… compared to some of the other stuff that we've seen, this is honestly nothing."
Paige, Becky, Linda, Melissa, and Ronnie Anne grumbled angrily in agreement.
Ronnie Anne then walked over to Lincoln, hugged him, and said, "Lincoln… I am so sorry for all the pranks I pulled on you. Watching your family do that to you, I can see what a jerk I was."
Lincoln, while still not completely pleased with Ronnie Anne, assured her, "Hey, at least you're admitting it. And admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it."
The Sweetwaters and Melissa smiled proudly as Lincoln and Ronnie Anne hugged each other.
(Time Skip: 10:15 PM)
As the screen faded to black on the final security footage video, Lincoln, Melissa, Ronnie Anne, and the Sweetwater family sat in their chairs with their mouths agape, frozen in a combination of shock, horror, contempt, betrayal, and fury.
The room remained silent for a full two minutes before Brian simply said, "Wow."
The rest of the audience remained speechless for another few seconds while Becky, who was already tightly holding Lincoln alongside Ronnie Anne, Paige, and Lindsay, gently stroked Lincoln's hair. As Becky comforted Lincoln, she tenderly told him, "Linky… Linky… whatever you want… whatever… just… just tell me, OK?"
Lincoln said, "Becky…"
Becky quickly interrupted him, "I'll… I'll take you to the mall and buy you as many comics and video games as you want. I'll take you wherever you want to go. Just… just tell me."
The Sweetwater siblings sensed Lincoln getting ready to speak again and immediately tightened their hold on Lincoln.
Brian and Linda watched as their kids embraced and held Lincoln with absolutely no intention of letting go for the foreseeable future. As they glanced at each other, Brian inhaled as if he was getting ready to speak before Linda quickly interrupted him, "Honey, let them be. Lincoln needs this."
Observing the heartbroken and protective looks on his kids' faces, Brian sighed back, "You're right, sweetie."
They then walked over to Melissa, with Brian asking, "So, after seeing all the footage, what do you think?"
The room was silent for a few seconds before Melissa stuttered, "I-I-I m-mean, what else is there to say? Like, I'm speechless. I need some time to process this. And I think you guys do, too."
Brian, Linda, and Melissa looked at each other in silence as they attempted to process their emotions after seeing the video. After a few seconds of that, Brian spoke first, "I mean, I knew the kids were pretty wild from the stories Lynn Sr. and Lincoln told me. I even saw the Loud sisters acting crazy on 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'. But seeing this on screen is just appalling. To say I'm disappointed in Lynn Sr. would be a huge understatement. I worked with that man for years. He'd always brag about how great his kids were, how they may have been chaotic, but at the end of the day, they loved each other. But after watching this… I seriously don't know."
Linda added, "And Rita. I admired the stories she used to give us on her mommy columns. How she balanced her dental assistant job, freelancing with us, and taking care of 11 kids. Watching all this… now… dear god. I mean, I get that those kids can be chaotic, but how spineless & immature can you be? It seems as if Lincoln's the only adult in that household… which is sad because he's 11, and he shouldn't have to be in that role. He should be peacefully reading comics in his undies… while his room door is locked, of course, playing video games, hanging out with friends, and worrying about homework. Because Lincoln steps up to care for his family so often, I guess they kind of started expecting him to act like an adult… a role he's clearly not suited for. And the Loud parents can be so childish. I mean, I get wanting to relate to your kids, but this is just ridiculous. You need to be your kids' parent, not their friend, at the end of the day."
Melissa then concurred, "From what I've seen, I agree with you. While all the Loud siblings, and even the Loud parents themselves, seem to do their fair share of bullying Lincoln, it's clear that Lori, Lynn Jr., and Lola stand out. Speaking of Lori, she needs to stop using her status as the eldest sibling, and de facto leader of the Loud siblings, to boss them around and bully her way into whatever they want."
Brian elaborated, "Not only does Lori do that, she also seems to be the ringleader whenever the Loud sisters and parents gang up on Lincoln, or anyone else in the family, for that matter. The Loud family seems to follow her word and her example, which again, is sad because the Loud parents are supposed to set that example. And what example does Lori set? She threatens to, and in some cases, does, turn her siblings into human pretzels if they interrupt her phone time, especially with her ex-boyfriend. She leads the siblings, and sometimes even the parents, in ganging up on other ones, particularly Lincoln. She uses her 'eldest sibling' status to try to get special privileges in the family. She can be just as bratty as Lola, if not more so. The Loud parents clearly can't set the proper example for their kids, given how they regularly join in the chaos, and in some cases, even instigate it."
Linda, remembering the hotel incident, scoffed in disgust, "Don't remind me," before Brian continued, "When your leaders act like that, how do you expect the followers to behave? I would say that the blame for Lincoln's situation mainly falls on her and the Loud parents. Now that I think about it, it's a miracle Lincoln turned out as good as he did."
Melissa said, "Exactly. The only person that seems to be able to discipline those kids is Lori. And we've seen her in action. She's not the best role model by a long shot. And sometimes, even she needs to be kept in line by Lincoln of all people. It seems as if these girls needed Lincoln to function, and it remains to be seen whether they would collapse without Lincoln or find a 'new Lincoln' to torture just like him."
Brian and Linda gasped in horror at Melissa's implication that the Louds would find a "new Lincoln" before Melissa continued, "But we need to cut Lori some slack."
Brian questioned, "Cut her some slack? What do you mean, cut her some slack?"
Melissa sighed before explaining, "First of all, Lori's 17. Think about it, this girl has had to take on the role of a 'backup parent' because the real Loud parents, who were supposed to be parents, were either too busy with their own lives or joining on the chaos themselves. Imagine having to look after 10 younger siblings... every single day for 16 years. Lori's talked to me about this. Sometimes, she's grumbled to me about missing concerts and weekends out to look after her younger siblings, and about just wanting to cut loose and be a normal kid with an... erm... normal-sized family."
The rest of the room gasped at this revelation before Ronnie Anne seethed, "Normal? Is anything about that family normal to you? Is that why Bobby spent hours & hours on the phone with Lori?"
Melissa interrupted Ronnie Anne, "I was just getting to that. And from what Lori's told me, yeah, that's part of the reason. And besides that, there are times when the Loud parents have tried to discipline their kids, and where Lori has tried to discipline her siblings. But their efforts have failed neither because the Loud parents tend to want to win popularity contests more than they want to be actual parents, nor because Lori tends to put herself above the rest of her siblings. Even if the Loud parents wanted to fully raise normal, healthy children, and even if Lori was fully committed to her role as an oldest sister, I would argue that the Loud siblings are too dangerous to be kept in line by normal parenting methods."
Linda asked, "What do you mean?", as Brian added, "Yeah, certainly, if Senior and Rita had curtailed their kids' behaviors years ago instead of unconditionally supporting their interests, the situation wouldn't have gotten to this point."
Melissa admitted, "Maybe so, with most of the siblings. I would even argue that Lynn Jr. and Lola could have been kept in line if Lori and the Loud parents stepped up and fully committed to their roles as leaders in that house. But off the top of my head, there's 2 siblings in particular that are too dangerous to be disciplined normally."
Linda asked, "2? Who might those be?"
Melissa started, "The first one would be Lisa. Remember how Lisa injected her entire family with brain chips?"
Brian and Linda nodded in horror before Linda said, "When we watched that, you said that Lisa is the most dangerous of the Louds. Not that we don't agree with you, but I want you to explain that."
Melissa explained, "Lisa set up a tracking chip system that can track anyone she desires, anywhere in the world. And she can hook you into said system without you even knowing. Because of her, half of this town might have to get tested for implanted tracking chips by L-Day."
Brian and Linda shuddered as they remembered how Dr. Chase had to scan their bodies for any tracking chips Lisa may have implanted in them.
Melissa continued, "Additionally, she regularly experiments with dangerous, lethal chemicals, and uses them on her siblings for her own sick kicks. She seems to have connections with the governments of several countries, which she taps into so she can spy on every bit of the Louds' activities. And whenever one of her experiments goes wrong, she shrugs it off as 'science.' I get that the girl's 4, but this is a girl that shows absolutely no moral compass. And she doesn't care about any rules. With her level of intelligence and scientific know-how, combined with her mentality, she could be dangerous to the whole world if allowed to operate unrestricted. Now ask yourself, do Lori, Lynn Jr., and Lola have those capabilities on their own?"
Brian and Linda glanced at each other before admitting, "No."
Melissa affirmed, "Exactly. That's why to me, she's the most dangerous Loud sibling of them all. And from my observations, there's another sibling that stands out as being extremely dangerous."
Linda asked, "Who do you think that is?"
Melissa said, "Luan."
Brian and Linda traded glances before Linda asked, "Luan? Why Luan?"
Melissa seethed, "Three words. April. Fools'. Day."
Brian and Linda immediately thought back to the "April Fools' Rules" security tapes and shuddered at the pranks they had seen Luan spring on her family. As soon as Ronnie Anne and the Sweetwater siblings heard Melissa utter those words, they immediately tightened their hold on Lincoln once more.
Melissa explained, "Going back to Lisa… I mean, if Lisa has to hide in a bunker just to get away from Luan's April Fools' Day pranks, then that alone cinches Luan as one of the most dangerous Louds, if not the most dangerous Loud. Never mind the pranks that she springs on her family, and really everyone around her, at all times. April Fools' Day alone gives her special mention. Her improvisational and stealth abilities are terrifying to behold. Sometimes, I wonder whether she might even be here… watching us right now. And like with Lisa, I want to ask you… do any of the other Louds besides those two give you those levels of creeps?"
Everyone in the room thought about it before Lindsay spoke up, "Well, Lola might. I mean, the way that girl's able to collect dirt on others… I feel like I have to watch my back at all times just to see whether or not she's around."
Sensing that Lincoln and Ronnie Anne were both ready to scold Lindsay for her hypocrisy, Melissa quickly said, "True," before pointing out, "Now, Lindsay, answer me this. Does Lola have the capability to manufacture chemicals that would instantly make you lose your beauty without you noticing it? Or to implant a tracking chip in your brain? Or to shove your entire family in a gelatin mold without you even noticing it?"
Lindsay reflected on what Melissa told her and how it stacked up against what she had seen in the security footage. As she did, she sighed before admitting, "No, not even close."
Melissa said, "Exactly. And with the abilities that those two siblings alone possess, normal disciplinary methods would not be enough to keep the Loud siblings in line. Not by a long shot."
Lindsay then asked Melissa, "What about the rest of the sisters? Who among them do you think is most dangerous?"
Melissa explained, "I'm going to have to rewatch this footage and create individual profiles on each of the sisters to determine the answers to that. I'll probably have them ready by this time next week, but I'm making no guarantees."
Lindsay, now unsure, asked, "A week from now?", before pointing out, "Dang… we'll be right upon L-Day at this point. It'd be wasted effort."
Melissa took the opportunity to then remind Lindsay, "You sure you want L-Day to happen that soon? It's obvious that we need to get rid of the Louds to ensure not just Lincoln's safety, but our own as well. At the same time, rushing things could cause the Louds to become wise to it, so we should pace ourselves. As a matter of fact, we're very lucky that Lori and her sisters aren't coming after us right now for the stunt Carol pulled, let alone the deaths of the pets."
Lindsay sighed before urging Melissa, "OK, then, go for it. But just so you girls know… I've got Lola next."
Melissa shook her head in exasperation, knowing that there was nothing she could do to control Lindsay's rage and desire for revenge against Lola. So, she warned Lindsay, "Very well, then. But remember what I said. Pace yourself. Wait for the right moment to strike."
Lindsay started to argue, "B-but t-the p-pageant tomorrow," before the rest of the room stared at her, causing her to slump in her seat and say, "Fine."
Melissa told Lindsay, "Good," before addressing the rest of the room, "Any other questions?"
Paige, after listening in and comforting Lincoln, decided to defend the Loud sisters, "But even with everything they've done, when it comes down to it, they do seem to genuinely care for Lincoln even when they didn't get anything out of it. I mean, they showed up for Lincoln's school project when they accidentally broke it. They tend to replace the things that they stole and/or broke, whether by accident or on purpose. And they seem to want Lincoln to be socially successful and popular in school."
Ronnie Anne gasped before snapping, "Are you KIDDING me?! Did you see nothing they did to Lincoln?! NOTHING?! Ooh, I like you, Paige, but sometimes, you just make me so angry I just wanna scream!"
Paige quickly jumped out of her chair and threatened Ronnie Anne, "I make you angry?! Uh… you pulled pranks on Lincoln just because you lo-o-o-o-ved him? Now, after seeing the footage, can you really sit here and tell me that what you did to him is love?!"
Ronnie Anne hissed, "You better watch it, you cow. You don't know him like I do!"
Melissa, wanting to defuse the tension, quickly interrupted them, "That's it! You two, stop it! Focus! This is about Lincoln here, not some hissy little fit you two want to have with each other!"
Paige and Ronnie Anne, at that, slumped into different chairs and grumbled, "Fine."
Seeing this, Melissa decided not to press the issue, and simply said, "Thank you." She then turned to Ronnie Anne and told her, "Now, I was going to continue talking about the sisters, but you, Ronnie Anne, you've forced me to tell you something I didn't want to tell you until a little later."
Ronnie Anne scoffed, "Shoot. Whatever you've got for me, I can handle anything."
Melissa explained, "It seems as if your 'darker desires' to torture the Louds may extend to a possible romantic interest in Lincoln."
Ronnie Anne quickly blushed, "A romantic interest in Lincoln? What? No way! Eww! I don't like Lame-O that way!"
While Paige tried to remain straight-faced at Melissa and Ronnie Anne's remarks, the slightest hint of a faint smirk crept across her face. While Becky and Lindsay noticed this, they decided to say nothing about it.
Melissa went on, "Having a reputation to keep as the 'toughest girl in school', you felt like you couldn't express your love to Lincoln, if you had it, by simply asking him out, so you decided to start pranking him. You also seemed to be hurt enough by Lincoln calling you 'rude, gross, and totally annoying' that one day in school that according to Bobby, you cried."
Sensing teasing from the Sweetwater sisters coming, Ronnie Anne quickly defended herself, "OK, anything you saw about that date was only because Lori and Bobby forced us on a stupid double date! Only!"
Meanwhile, the Sweetwater sisters smugly teased, "Uh-huh."
Ronnie Anne blushed deeper, "S-s-shut up!"
Melissa sighed before explaining, "While your devotion to Lincoln is admirable, given your temperament and behavioral patterns, it would also be concerning if the two of you ever got into a relationship with each other. Your inability to accept your own feelings combined with Lincoln's nature as a pushover suggest that if your romantic feelings for each other were to intensify and turn into an actual relationship, the relationship would eventually turn abusive."
Paige immediately jumped out of her chair and yelled in triumph, "I KNEW IT!", causing the whole room to look at her weirdly. Catching everybody's bewildered glances at her, Paige simply shrugged her shoulders and said, "What? I just don't want anybody hurting Lincoln!"
Becky and Lindsay giggled under their breaths while Linda and Melissa stifled giggles themselves.
Melissa fanned herself as she tried to brush off the awkward moment, "A-as I was saying," before regaining her composure and explaining to Ronnie Anne or Lincoln, "You two would do things to either physically or emotionally hurt each other. This cycle of violence could potentially escalate to the point where it ends in one, or both, of your deaths."
Ronnie Anne and Lincoln gulped at that before glancing at each other apologetically.
Melissa then turned to Paige and said, "And as for your question, Paige, it appears as if while Lily and the animals have some awareness of what's going on, they may be too innocent to be involved in the plot. While it may be too late for the animals, if the situation inside the Loud House can be made less volatile, it's possible that Lily can be rescued and re-raised to have proper levels of respect and affection for Lincoln. She is, after all, merely 20 months old."
In response, Brian asked in disbelief, "What? We just had all of their pets killed! Now we're going to take their baby, too? That's practically suicide!"
The rest of the room grumbled in agreement that Brian was right before Paige asked, "But what about the rest of them? Do you think that at some point, even one of them might come to their senses and admit that the whole 'luck' thing was a bunch of nonsense? I mean, right up until the luck incident, it seemed as if this was a family that loved each other."
Melissa sighed before telling Paige, "Given the Loud sisters' and parents' tendency to gang up on Lincoln and stubbornly stick to their worldviews, that seems highly unlikely. However, I do believe it's possible, though fleeting, that one or two of them might feel remorse and regret for what they've done."
Linda immediately insisted, "No! I want to believe that, I really do! But what these monsters have done to Lincoln is so… so h-horrible! I don't know if we could accept their apology even if they gave one! I mean, how many times have they given lackluster apologies to Lincoln? They gave him a 'Most Improved Brother' trophy! A FUCKING MOST IMPROVED BROTHER TROPHY! As if HE was the one that needed to improve! That right there… shows that they conditionally love him. If they love him at all."
Brian defended Linda, "Linda's right. The Loud family seems to operate with absolutely no remorse towards Lincoln whenever they judge him as standing in the way of what they want. Because of that, we can't count on any of them developing remorse or regret for what they did."
Ronnie Anne then growled, "As it is, they're probably blaming Lincoln's 'bad luck' for the loss of the pets right now."
Paige then asked, "OK, well, if any of the Loud girls, or even Lincoln's parents, came to us saying that they're sorry, would you listen?"
The rest of the room traded glances before Lincoln scoffed, "Hard. Pass. Do you know how many times my ex-housemates have tried to apologize to me just to get something out of me, or to continue treating me horribly and bullying me as if I'm just supposed to forgive and forget? No. I won't forgive. I won't forget. They've just done… too much at this point. They don't mean any of their apologies, as they usually go right back to ganging up on me, never learn their lessons, bullying me, messing up my schoolwork, and treating me like a waste of time that ruins their lives. Ugh… why are we even discussing this? They never listen to me whenever I try to make up for my mistakes. So why should we listen to them?"
The rest of the room grumbled in agreement before Melissa mused, "Fair enough." She then yawned and told the rest of the room, "It's getting kind of late, and really, we've been missing school for the last 2 days watching Lincoln's life at the Loud House. I'm going back home, and I'm going to be going back to school tomorrow morning. And I suggest you guys do the same."
Brian then asked concerned, "You sure you're going to be OK driving home?"
Melissa assured everyone else in the room, "I'll be fine. Just gotta make sure I can keep my eyes open for about 5-10 minutes and not doze off, and I'll be OK. As an added bonus, I'll get working on mixing this footage together for the rest of our allies, and eventually, all of Royal Woods to see. That way, they can truly get to know the monsters that lie in our midst."
Linda sighed, "Well, looks like we can't stop you," before her & Brian pulled Melissa into a hug thanking her for everything.
As the rest of the Sweetwaters, Lincoln, and Ronnie Anne joined the group hug, Melissa smirked, "Don't mention it," with the rest of the room chirping, "We won't!"
Melissa then turned to Ronnie Anne and asked, "Hey, you want a ride home? I bet you need to calm down… you know… after all this."
Ronnie Anne immediately insisted, "No! I want to watch the rest of the security footage that I missed!"
Melissa pointed out, "Ronnie Anne, we spent a whole day watching that footage. I don't want you missing any days of school, and I don't want your parents to get worried about you. And besides, from the stories Bobby, Lori, and Lincoln told you, I bet you probably know enough."
Ronnie Anne reflected on all the times Bobby, Lori, and Lincoln had already told her stories about life at the Loud House before admitting, "Yeah, you're right."
Melissa then offered, "How about this? While I drive you home, I'll fill you in on everything, and then you'll tell me your side of the story."
Ronnie Anne put her finger to her chin in mock thought, saying, "You drive a hard bargain…", before smiling at Melissa, shaking her hand, and yelling, "Deal!"
Melissa giggled at Ronnie Anne's enthusiasm and said, "Well, alright then!"
Ronnie Anne then hugged the Sweetwaters goodbye, reserving her most tender hug for Paige. When she finally made it to Lincoln, she softly punched her in the arm and told him, "Lame-O, it's been real. If those mean sisters ever try to hurt you again, just give me a call."
Lincoln laughed before assuring Ronnie Anne with a playful punch to her arm, "I will! But don't go too crazy, punk!"
Ronnie Anne joked back, "Not making any guarantees!", before pulling Lincoln into a hug and assuring him, "I've got your back, Lame-O. I've got your back."
When Ronnie Anne and Lincoln broke their embrace, Ronnie Anne walked with Melissa to the car, and they exchanged friendly goodbye waves with the Sweetwaters and Lincoln before ultimately driving home.
The Sweetwaters looked out the window to see if Melissa and Ronnie Anne had made it out of their driveway safely. As they did, Paige begged her family, "Guys, I know Lincoln's not wrong, but I just hope at least one of those monsters comes around. One of them."
Brian and Linda gasped at Paige before Linda assured her middle daughter, "Sweetie… I hope so, too. We all do. But we can't force these things. If they do love Lincoln, we have to let it sprout and grow naturally. Forcing things is what led to this situation."
Paige sighed and reflected on Linda's words before admitting, "You're right," as Melissa and Ronnie Anne drove off. Brian then informed his family, "Alright, gang. Time for everybody to get to bed. We've all got to go back to the daily grind tomorrow."
After that, Lincoln and the Sweetwaters wished goodnight to each other before retreating to their respective bedrooms to start their nighttime routines. As they did, Brian offered, "Hey, Lincoln, mind if I help you with all your new gifts from your friends?"
Lincoln smiled at Brian's offer and told him, "Yup!"
The two spent the next hour or so carrying many of the gifts Lincoln had received in the hospital and putting it away in Lincoln's room. While doing so, they made small talk about Ace Savvy and the chaos of the Loud House, and cherished finding out that both Ronnie Anne and Melissa had made it home safe and without any major incidents. Brian also got Lincoln to explain how the family had so much of their lives filmed in the first place.
Lincoln sighed before explaining, "It all started last year, around the time Lily was born. We were watching old homemade videos, so I suggested that we start doing that again. And everybody thought that was a great idea. As a result, that's when Lisa and Luan put the hidden cameras up."
Brian then asked, "But if Lisa and Luan knew that there were hidden cameras up, why did they join in on how the others treated you? Why didn't they try to stop it?"
Lincoln explained, "For whatever reason, looking at it now, it seems as if me getting mistreated or having bad things happen to me seemed to have gotten the most laughs out of them. Plus, you saw the meeting that they had on how to deal with their 'problem son.'"
Brian scoffed, "Don't remind me. Lynn Sr., Rita, Lori, Lola, and Lucy threatening to post the videos on that USB key all over social media as a vlog… wow. I mean, who does that? Did they really think they were going to get famous off that?"
Lincoln sighed, "Apparently, yes. My ex-housemates, especially Lori, will do anything for Internet fame."
Brian sneered, "Typical."
Lincoln then explained, "But as bad as my ex-housemates are, they're not the only problem. They're just the biggest problem."
Brian then asked, "Biggest problem? What do you mean?"
Lincoln pointed out, "You saw the security tapes. You saw how Royal Woods as a whole tends to treat me. The school, Flip… everybody."
Brian said, "Hey, this town does that to people. I told you what happened to me growing up, and I feel bad that it's happening to you. This town's a dog-eat-dog world. You know how they say, 'survival of the fittest?'"
Lincoln nodded at that before Brian sneered, "Here, it might as well be, 'survival of the meanest.'"
Lincoln snorted in bitter laughter at Brian's pun before Brian sighed, admitting, "It's a shame it has to be like this. A lot of people here have so much potential to be so much better."
Lincoln said, "Yeah. Do you know what Principal Huggins did after that fight? He threw a horrendous anti-bullying assembly that ended with Rusty twerking on stage to Jamaican music and pooping his pants."
Brian said, "I heard. Paige told me all about it. Even showed me the video. Honestly, I just think Rusty was being an idiot, but you know kids. Plus, with everything going on… you know."
Lincoln scoffed, "I know. All too well. Still, I don't know about Principal Huggins. I feel like he's going to be a thorn in our side."
Brian asked, "You sure you still don't want to take me up on that homeschooling offer?"
Lincoln said, "No. That'll just make my ex-housemates look 10 times harder for me. Like Lindsay said, we've got to make things look as normal as possible until the time is right for us to strike. Besides, with Clyde and all of you on my side… I think I should be OK for not getting bullied for at least the next couple of weeks."
Remembering the crowds of girls that showed up to visit Lincoln at the hospital, Brian laughed before admitting, "Fair enough."
As Brian and Lincoln continued to make small talk while putting the final touches on Lincoln's new room, Lincoln reflected on his new living arrangements. While he was undoubtedly and deeply grateful to the Sweetwaters for helping him in his darkest moments, he worried that Linday's toxic side would be on full display once their revenge on the Louds was complete. He remembered that Lindsay could be as toxic as Lola and stated that she only helped Lincoln with Lola's secrets because she was "tired of coming in second place to her." A part of Lincoln planned to escape the town once the Louds were irrevocably dealt with, and Lincoln was inwardly debating whether or not to inform the Sweetwaters once he made his move. While they did seem to care about him, he couldn't help but notice the links that they, and the rest of his allies by extension, had to his life being so hard, accidental or not. He wanted to trust and love the Sweetwaters with open arms, but after everything that he had been through, he was unsure as to whether he could trust anybody on that level again. After thinking about it, Lincoln ultimately decided that was something he'd worry about when the time came, as the Sweetwaters seemed totally committed to avenging the bullying done to Lincoln. Brian offering to homeschool Lincoln both on Monday morning and tonight was more than enough proof of just how protective the Sweetwaters seemed to be of Lincoln, and Lincoln took solace in that.
These thoughts distracted Lincoln from being completely careful with his new things, causing Brian to concernedly ask if Lincoln was OK a few times as he absentmindedly placed some of his things in random spots across his room. Lincoln responded in the affirmative every time, but after about the third time this happened, Brian asked Lincoln, "You know what… why don't you just go take a shower and brush your teeth, and I'll handle the rest?"
Lincoln smiled and said, "OK!", and ran to the bathroom to do just that.
As Lincoln walked out of the bathroom in his pajamas, Brian put Lincoln's phone on charge, putting the final touch on his room, before asking Lincoln, "There. Now, how do you like that, champ?"
Lincoln asked, "Like? I love it!" He immediately pulled Brian into a hug and thanked him, causing Brian to chuckle, "You're welcome. Now, get to bed, you crazy kid!"
Lincoln chuckled back, "OK, I will!"
Lincoln proceeded to practically jump onto the bed and begin to tuck himself in. However, when Brian saw this, he wagged his finger at Lincoln and told him, "Uh uh uh!" He commanded Lincoln to get up, and when Lincoln did, he raised the blanket for him. Touched, Lincoln smiled as Brian tucked him in before kissing him goodnight. As he did, he wished Lincoln, "Goodnight, son. Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite!"
As Brian walked away from Lincoln to turn out the lights and go to sleep himself, Lincoln chuckled to himself before drifting off into his own slumber. As Lincoln fell asleep, the last thoughts on his mind were, maybe I don't need to be the man with the plan this time. I'll just go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may.
Closing A/N: And with that, the viewing of the security footage is complete! I know: ugh, more sister demonization. But in order to get back at the Louds, the Sweetwaters need to thoroughly analyze & study them.
A/N 2: Shoutout to Saccharine Melody for the quote where Luan refers to NSL as "Comedy Gold". Not canon to NSL, but figured it's a "bonus scene" that fits Luan's character. Also, for the idea of the vlog depicting the worst of Lincoln's life at home coming from the DaddyOFive scandal.
A/N 3: Shoutout to DJ Sprouts for the negative 36% karma and "positive karma only in the squirrel suit" quotes. They aren't canon to NSL, but I figured that it would be a nice "bonus scene" that shows why the Loud family threw Lincoln out so suddenly. Also, big shoutout to DJ Sprouts for the L.I.S.A. video script. It was such a good prologue that I honestly felt that it deserved its own security tape.
A/N 4: The April Fools' Day "animal magnetism" prank comes from Alexpv22's Gal Pals. Figured I'd reincorporate it here. The Sweetwaters are watching a highlight reel of all of Luan's April Fools' Day pranks over the years.
A/N 5: The "bullshit" lines come from Reacting to the Loud House's NSL episode.
A/N 6: Becky's promise to Lincoln comes from "Requiem for a Loud."