It took another month or so, but he finally got a job with his new certificate. It was odd at first, he'd never had a job like it. Eventually though, he settled into the role and enjoyed the job farm more than his old one.
Bouts of depression still came, but it wasn't as oppressive.
That didn't mean he had stopped wondering if this was all there was.
People still pretended, more or less, to be fine. Even at his job. For the most part, he felt like he was barely helping at all. But the job was good, more hours, less days, more money.
Even so, he felt like something was missing. That there still yet, had to be more to life. What more he could want, he couldn't begin to guess at. But life was still just a boring slog. Different people came and left, most graduated the program at his job, others left of their own accord or forcibly.
What good was this, if the things that led people still existed?
It was just a band-aid for the true cause.
He could feel himself becoming disillusioned, but really, what was the point? The point of hope? Of trying? Everything was the same. Week after week, month after month, year after year.
Maybe, some places made small changes, but what good was that? If nothing of this mattered anyway, what the hell did any of this matter?
He sighed and rolled onto his side, staring out at the darkness of his room. Everything stays the same. He sat up some to feel for his Psyduck, who once found, he hugged to his chest.
He was beyond tired of feeling this way. He was in therapy, had a job he liked, but he still felt this way.
He understands progress takes time, he can even acknowledge he and the world has made progress. But it doesn't feel like enough. Everything is the damn same. As each year passes, it's all just bullshit.
He sighs and sits up, placing Psyduck behind him on the bed.
Life is inherently terrible. Everything is the same, now and forever. One person can't change the world. Sad facts. He's trying to accept them though. For whatever it's worth.
This is it. This, this existence is all there is. Better make it count, right?
A/N: This was originally going to be longer but is what it is. Thanks as always for reading.