Title: When Punch Gal Saved The Crow

Synopsis: Non Mass. Super hero/villian AU. Itachi had a great many plans that day. Alright, to be honest, his Saturday mornings he reserved for laundry. But, after laundry, he was booked to assist the Akatsuki with world domination.

For Ita/Saku week '22. Prompt: Getting kidnapped really messed up their to-do list for the day.

Itachi had a great many plans that day. Alright, to be honest, his Saturday mornings he reserved for laundry. But, after laundry, he was booked to assist the Akatsuki with world domination. For betterment of world peace, or some shit. His plan that afternoon had been to cause absolute hell for the citizens of Konoha, such that his brother could fly to the rescue and be a cute little hero.

Without him, The Crow, villainizing the city, most people would hate his brother for his 'hning', 'sighing', 'depressive' attitude. Not really 'supery' like his fellow teammate, Naruto Uzamaki. Hero name: The Flying Fox.

But Sasuke needed him. So, here he was.

It meant he'd had to step on the number one rule of supervillainy. Only one super villian per city, or super villain team anyway. It had to do with coordination.

A lot of planning had to be done to do evil, an underrated aspect of the profession. To go out of one's way to target, attack, kidnap someone and hold them hostage all while entertaining them with a villian speech was a lot of work. The speech itself usually took a few hours to nail down, and then another two to recite by heart. Several more hours to think of all possible ways in which the person or heroes might interrupt said speech and how to divert from the original storyline should it occur. And then of course, the set up of a location, traps and triggers, at least four days.

And to go through all of this, only to capture a fellow villain. Wasted effort.

To be honest, if he hadn't just put in contact lenses he wouldn't have been taken captive. The lenses in the drug prevented his bloodline super eye-power from activating. It enabled him to live a semi-normal life and pretend in front of little Sasuke that The Crow was not an Uchiha. It also caused temporary blindness. Ten to fifteen minutes of it. The drug also induced a migraine, which rendered him useless until noon. Which is why Saturday mornings were spent not moving, or folding laundry.

Itachi spent his immobile time listening to Amazon's Alexa give him a briefing on the super-political climate as he laid on the couch wishing for death. That day, he stared up at nothing but blackness, listening to the reports about how Kisame the Swordsman had gotten yet a bigger sword and cleaved an entire building in half. An impressive feat. Itachi had been contemplating sending flowers with a note saying: 'Are you sure you're not compensating?' when vines had wrapped around his abdomen, hands, face, and feet.

He'd been kidnapped. Supernapped. Villiannapped, by another villain. The lamest villain of Konoha. Entangled… That was his name, very lame due to the relation with a disney princess, but incredibly accurate.

If word ever reached Kisame, goodness, Itachi shuddered in the holding cell, he'd never live it down.

"Ah hah, see," Entangled sneered, "You've every right to fear me."

No. Itachi did not fear Entangled. The moment the migraine dissipated, Itachi would rip the limbs off this stupid, green spandex wearing idiot and burn this place to the ground.

Of course, he didn't really get the chance. Help arrived prior to the relief of pain.

"Anytime now," Entangled cackled, "Lightening shall come, and with him the goddess of righteousness and her perfect hips–"

That probably wouldn't be exactly right. Lightning, or Sasuke rather, having received the ominous note Itachi had left about the dastardly deed The Crow had been planning to do that day, didn't actually come to his rescue. This villain didn't warrant the entire super crew. The Crow did.

So instead, he got the sidekick.

Punch Gal.

A lame name, but also incredibly accurate.

She punched and pretty much destroyed two walls, and the villian with it. Only for the villain to disappear into the soil, spouting something about love and a bunch of other rubbish — honestly Itachi had stopped paying attention after the first ten minutes of capture. But it was clear, the dick would return again. He'd not been captured.

Punch Gal chopped the door, right off the hinges and tossed it off into the pile of ruble. She adjusted her super mask.

"Itachi, are you ok?" Punch Gal, aka Sakura Haruno, asked.

Tsk. Broken hero code. She'd spoken as if she knew him. Although, he was a bit famous for his tech business… maybe not that obvious, but it was still not done.

"I've been better, definitely more comfortable."

She leaned in close and cut the vines that were covering him like a cacoon with a pair of gardening shears. Well at least she'd come prepared.

Once complete, her hands glowed, though she didn't touch his flesh he could feel the chill of her other power. This was the power the news didn't advertise, because it wasn't jaw dropping, nor could it mass heal or instantaneously heal like others. She was just a sidekick. One person at a time and it took time.

He heard rumors of it on the underground. It had been the one reason he'd been happy to hear she'd been placed on Sasuke's team.

This was his first hand experience with it though. The vine burn against his skin eased from pain. The tightest locations, those at his wrists that had been cut and raw felt the cooling sensation, too. The red bleeding marks stopped their slow drips. Slowly but surely, all gone. His migraine too, even though it shouldn't for another two hours. It was like he'd never been injured at all.

"Amazing." In truth, he'd never felt better in his life. For the first time in years he was pain free. His mind coasted on the feeling. It was better than the time Kisame and he stole a bunch of Zetsu's weed and smoked it all within two hours, sitting on a pier staring out at the water.

That was why he broke both villian code and his own. He pulled her into his arms, held her in an embrace. Hell, he felt good. Giddy, like a child at an amusement park for the first time. In fact, he was laughing, tears streaming from his eyes.

She hugged him back, wrapping around him and holding him to her chest. She felt good. He felt whole in her arms.

So like an idiot, he just kept laughing.

"It's ok," she patted his back, the cooling sensation everywhere now. "You've been in a lot of pain, huh? The cancer and treatment has been rough."

He didn't question how Punch Gal would know such details of his life as that would mean she knew Sasuke. He couldn't break the wall, for both their sakes. But she was right. The last five years had been rough. So draining. But now, he felt lighter than wind, like a full battery charge. And he was happy. When was the last time he'd been happy?

"I'm sorry I can't cure it, but I'm a good morphine drip, huh?" she asked as the cooling sensation eased.

The unexplainable joy rattling his bones left with it. But the happiness that lingered like hope, deep in his heart, it thrived still.

He didn't release his embrace. How long had it been since he'd actually hugged anyone? Not since his mother had passed; just forehead pokes for Sasuke. He tucked his head into her neck, taking in the sweet smell of her shampoo.

It was peaceful, like this. Closing his eyes, he could imagine a better world. Better than the one Pein wanted; better than the one where he died in the end. Better than any hope and dream he'd ever had before and all it was, was just a feeling. A feeling in his chest as it pressed against this woman's.

But reality was like a festering wound. Itachi was going to die. He was going to die the villain, or he was going to die of the rot inside of him. There was no alternative, was there?

He released her and pulled away.

Sakura relaxed her own grip and retracted her hands to his face. Her thumb padded away the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

"It's going to be ok," she told him. "You'll make it through this."

He cracked a smile, but it felt so broken as just moments ago he'd been smiling for real. Her hope was sweet, misplaced, but sweet nonetheless.

Itachi leaned in and kissed her temple, right above her super mask. "Thank you, Sakura," he whispered in her ear before pulling back.

She stiffened in reaction to her name. Her eyes widened in fear, "I think you—"

He pressed a finger to her lips and then to his own. He kept his voice low. "I'd be a fool if I couldn't identify my own brother after teaching him several techniques he currently uses. It is not much of a jump, seeing you are one of his best friends."

She blinked, "Before cancer, you—?"

But he hears the question. You weren't just 'super smart,' building a private business, were you?

He gives a nod. Cancer was a career ender for a hero. Not so much a villian, however.

"Thank you for taking care of my brother," he whispered.

She gave a nod.

"And for saving me, when I could not save myself." How embarrassing, honestly this day would haunt him for a while. He'd definitely figure out something to ensure this never happened again… and that Kisame never found out.

"When I'm gone, please continue to take care of him."

She nodded, but tears fell from her eyes. "Of course, Itachi. But you should have a little hope. You might make it through this."

He shook his head. "The chances are slim."

Her eyes hardened at his reply. "But they exist. I know they do."

Sasuke was baking on that 10% and was feeding it to others. "It is very unlikely—"

She used her power on him again, then. He laughed, laughed as the cooling sensation raced around his body. The thread of hope pulled at him, pulsing in his veins like his power.

Punch Gal was such an inaccurate name for her, why had he originally thought it so fitting.

"They should have called you, Giggle Fits," and he was barely able to breathe, laughing so hard. He was back to hugging her, holding her small frame in his arms. Goodness, she felt amazing.

"Yeah?"

"Punch Gal sucks."

"It does, doesn't it? I hate it too," she laughed as well, her arms tightening around him. She tucked her head on his shoulder, freed one hand to shift though his hair. "It's going to be ok, Itachi."

A tingle filled his chest, head and limbs. In that moment, he did believe. It would take him years and long hours of reflection to realize that he never stopped believing her.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, as the cool sensation stopped. "I promise, I'll take care of Sasuke," she whispered.

He pulled away. "Thank you, Punch Gal."

"My pleasure, Itachi."

That day, he opted to add several different things to his to-do list before he died. Most involved Sakura Haruno.

But first, he was going to teach Entangled a lesson. If anyone found a chopped up plant with some spandex mixed in from a chipper shredder, who'd be the wiser? His garden could use a bit of bone meal.