Dearest Fiyero!

Having sent Nessa back to Shiz with Boq, I set out for the Emerald City, where I was generously welcomed by His Ozness. I must confess that the last couple of days have been simply – for lack of a better word – wonderful. No one stares at me, no one points – everyone here treats me like I'm just normal. And that in itself feels absolutely unreal. Not to say that I do not enjoy this change, I sincerely don't miss being called a "freak", "monster" or "witch". (Although – forgive me for being sappy – I do miss being called "Fae".) However, I feel like it may take me some time to get used to this new life. Thank Oz for Glinda, who's still her usual, impossibly bubbly self – at least one constant that I can always rely on. Truth be told, I really missed her, even with all the frills and squeals and pinks. I would have felt really alone without her here.

I'm so happy to hear you're back at Shiz safely. I sincerely hope you're still planning to take your studies seriously, even though you won't have me to constantly nag you. (That is not to say that I will not nag you. What are letters for?).

Please give my best to everyone at Shiz, and, if you can, take care of Nessa while I'm gone. And, of course, stay safe, Yero. I can't wait to see you again.

Kyé ámia't,

Elphaba

•••

The Wizard's palace was the last place Elphaba was able to get any rest. Although the room she'd been quartered in was more luxurious than any other she'd seen in her life; every night, she would toss and turn before finally falling into an anxious half-sleep.

One night, she suddenly found herself startled wide awake, breathing heavily, covered in cold sweat. She wasn't quite sure what had woken her up, the stifled scream, which she hadn't initially identified as her own, or the determined knocking on the door.

"Elphie? Are you alright?" Glinda's voice was filled with concern. "You were screaming so loudly, I heard you scream from across the hall. What's wrong?"

"Oh no, did I wake you?" Elphaba sighed apologetically. "Sorry, I just had a nightmare."

"It seemed pretty bad. Can I come in?" A moment of silence followed as Elphaba leaned against the door, trying to sort out her racing thoughts. After a few deep breaths, she heard Glinda knock on the door again. "Elphaba, please open up."

"I'm scared of becoming a monster."

More silence.

"Not the kind of opening up that I had in mind, but I appreciate that, too."

Finally, Elphaba unlocked the door and allowed her friend in, avoiding Glinda's worried gaze as they both perched on the edge of the messy bed.

"So, wanna tell me about it?"

Elphaba sighed.

"You know, with each day of practicing magic with Morrible, I know I'm getting closer to giving the Wizard's 'test' another go. I don't see how I'd be able to avoid enchanting the Monkeys this time, not if I want to stay here. And I have to stay here. But I don't want to do this. I don't want to harm them, not again. It's bad enough that I'll have to enchant living creatures against their will, but Glinda, I remember what happened last time. They were in such pain. I can't do that to them again, I…"

Glinda looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, Elphie," she said, patting her friend on the shoulder. "I keep trying to find some solution – I know you are, too – but so far nothing has come to mind…"

"I know."

"But we'll keep looking!"

"Yeah. I guess we will."

They sat in silence for a moment, neither finding the right words to say. Finally, Glinda cleared her throat.

"Elphaba, I know this is not something that can just be solved with a finger snap… But I think torturing yourself by thinking about it constantly won't do you any good, either. I think you need a break."

"Well, we do have a day off on—"

"Yes, and I know you were going to spend it buried in your books again. But not this time. This time, you're going out with me."

Elphaba raised her brow.

"Really, Glinda? I know you're trying to help, but you know going out is really not my preferred free-time activity."

"I know, that's the point," Glinda agreed, allowing a little mischievous smile to appear in the corner of her mouth, "I want to distract you, but I can't think of anything you'd enjoy enough to stop worrying."

"…okay?"

"That's why we're going to do something you'll hate."

•••

Dear Fabala!

I'm sorry it took me a while to respond to your letter. There has been quite a lot happening since I came back to Shiz (don't worry, though, everything is okay!) – lots of studying, mainly. This is, after all, our last year here; and I know I must do my best to learn as much as I can if I'm supposed to be governess after I graduate.

Please, tell me more about how it's been, living at the Wizard's palace! Is it everything you imagined it would be? How are your sorcery classes? I'm sure you're making amazing progress and that very soon, the Wizard will officially make you his vizier!

I can tell you're worried about me, but I promise, I'm really doing well. Fiyero (at your request, I have no doubt; not that either of you will admit it) has been looking after me, and Boq, even though we still argue about politics all the time, is a real treasure to have around. I've also been spending a lot of time with the rest of our little study group – Milla, Rahi, Samir, Athien, ShenShen and Pfannee; and I think it's really good for me. I'm so glad you have Glinda to keep you company while you're in the Emerald City! Please, give her my best. And as for yourself – take care, Fabala! I can't wait to hear more from you.

Love,

Nessa

•••

"Do we really have to?"

Instead of answering, Glinda smiled widely at her reluctant friend and unceremoniously dragged her into the fancy-looking Ozma Boutique.

"Okay, but remember", Elphaba whined in a defeated voice, "you promised to actually consider my opinion. Don't force some stupid pink frills on me!"

"How dare you assume I w—ooh, I love that dress!" Glinda's eyes immediately shot towards the sparkliest item in the shop, and Elphaba smirked slightly despite herself. She watched her friend run around the store and pick up seemingly random articles of clothing; but her amusement quickly turned into horror when Glinda shoved most of the pile into her arms.

"Well, don't just stand there! You've got a lot of trying-on to do!" she ordered, with a voice stricter than Elphaba had ever heard her use before.

"But–"

"No buts! Hop to it!"

Before she could say anything else, Elphaba got forcefully pushed into one of the changing rooms.

She looked around with a strange kind of curiosity. She hadn't tried on any new clothes for years – honestly, she'd never been one to fuss over fashion – and now, standing in front of a mirror in nothing but her underwear, she felt more helpless than she had while fleeing from the Wizard's armed soldiers. She wasn't exactly used to looking at herself, not for any longer than necessary, anyway; and the body she saw in the mirror seemed almost completely foreign. Flat stomach, long limbs, small chest, narrow hips – were they really hers? Well, whose else would they be, she mocked herself. They're green.

"Elphie?" Glinda demanded from behind the velvet curtain. "Are you okay in there?"

"Um, yeah!" Elphaba said, although she herself wasn't really convinced. Granted, the forced shopping trip temporarily distracted her from the oncoming confrontation with the Wizard. Still, the persistent questions about her own personhood, morality and worth seemed at this moment to strike her from a different angle, but with the same intensity as ever.

•••

My dearest Elphaba!

I'm so glad you've been enjoying your stay at the Emerald City and your sorcery lessons (and, from what I hear, hanging out with our dearest Glinda!). In case I haven't stressed that enough – I am so, so very proud of you! You really are one of the most brilliant people in Oz and I still can't understand why you would ever choose to be with an idiot like me. Apparently fortune really does favor fools! (Or is that just a Vinkun proverb?)

I must admit that your absence really doesn't help my motivation, but I promise, I'm still taking my studies seriously and putting in the effort. I, in turn, hope that you're not overexerting yourself, like you tend to do – and don't even try to deny it! I still remember having to carry you to your room (and sometimes getting brutally kicked by you in the process) when you would fall asleep at the library before finals. Your prince is not around now, so you'd better take good care of yourself. If you don't, I will have Glinda dye your hair pink while you're asleep (or take you shopping again – you seem to have really hated that!)

In all seriousness, Fae, I miss you so much, it would for sure make me lose my mind if only I'd had one to begin with. I promise, I'll make my way to the Emerald City as soon as I can.

Ámia't q'raíh, k'alla,

Fiyero

PS I picked some poppies from our clearing a while ago and I wanted to send them to you, but they all just fell apart when I tried to press them. I am heartbroken... Will you love me anyway?