Chapter thirty eight

Destiny

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"Twenty years ago, when Lord Voldemort was near the peak of his power at the time, more and more followers were joining him, and you – the one who was supposed to stop him in his cruel reign was not yet born, my mother Mary Rosier was a student at Hogwarts. She came from a respectable family, but she did not have many relatives. Her parents were both dead by then. The year before they had perished in the service of the Dark Lord… And already from an early age, Mary and her sister Marion were raised for the same fate.

My aunt Marion was two years older, so after she successfully passed the NEWT exams, they waited for my mother to come of age, so that they could be accepted in Voldemort´s ranks together. Sometime at the end of her sixth year at school, my mother fell in love with someone from the Gryffindor House, supposedly a pureblood wizard; and they started seeing each other in secret. Otherwise, I do not know much about my father...

After another year, my mother Mary graduated from school and had to fulfil her promise, which she made to the Dark Lord at the age of fourteen. She was too young to understand fully what it meant at the time, and even though her parents made her do it, there was nothing that could be done to avoid it. She took an oath, went through initiation, and became his servant. But she kept the Dark Mark secret from my father. I know from my aunt, whom my mother later confided in, that they secretly married shortly after. I do not even know where exactly it took place.

Marion had been suspicious of her sister for some time. Then she accidentally opened a letter that was not meant for her and realized the extent of the trouble Mary had gotten herself into. She also found out about the identity of her husband, but she never told me his name. Then, Mary told her everything. My aunt Marion only wanted the best for her sister, so she tried to convince her that she could not live a double life after all. She had to choose one, and she advised her to leave her husband before it was too late. However, Mary loved him and did not want to give him up so easily. The sisters had a nasty fight and my mother ran away from home.

She went to her husband. I can only guess what really happened between them, since my aunt was not there and my mother is a notorious liar, but… I assume that she told him everything out of desperation, hoping that he would understand and protect her. However, he could not bear the fact that his wife lied to him all this time and broke up with her. Mary returned home heartbroken. She then devoted herself fully to her destiny as a follower of the Dark Lord, but my aunt did not know whether to rejoice or lament. My mother had become ruthless and cruel…

This all happened around the time you were born, Harry.

Two months later, Mary gave birth to a baby girl, me. The only one who knew who Mary had her daughter with was my aunt. As far as I know, she did not tell anyone else. Not long after the birth, just as Mary was arranging some paperwork for me at the Ministry, her husband came to the house. Supposedly, he claimed still loving Mary and wanted her back. Before Marion could stop him, he went inside and saw a cradle on the ground floor. He demanded an explanation, when Mary came back home. She asked her sister to leave them alone. She did, but even upstairs, she still could hear my father apologizing and begging for forgiveness for the way he had treated her. Yet, my mother was adamant. She blamed him for everything she could think of and threw him out of the house. He was desperate and kept trying to get in, but to no avail. My aunt said that father had tried several more times to soften my mother up, but without success.

Then, half a year later, Lord Voldemort tried to kill the little boy, but that robbed him of all his power, he disappeared into nowhere and you were left with a reminder of that night on your forehead. The Ministry of Magic began to hunt down former Death Eaters. By some miracle or accidentally, none of the arrested revealed the mother's name. She, her sister, and a few others remained anonymous, and if it were not for the Dark Mark, no one could ever accuse them of serving the Dark Lord.

Three weeks had passed since Voldemort's disappearance, the wizarding world was celebrating, but my mother did not have much reason to rejoice. She learned that her husband was arrested and imprisoned in Azkaban as a murderer. She could not explain his previous behaviour and she did not understand why he did it. Deep down, she still loved him and felt completely broken down. She told me that after she recovered a little, she could no longer look at me, nor live with me under the same roof. She still saw her former husband in me.

She left me in the care of Aunt Marion, set it up to make it look like she died in a skirmish with the remaining Death Eaters and travelled away to Europe. She simply got rid of me...

My aunt has changed since the fall of the Dark Lord. She understood that supporting evil was never the right path. She saw how it all ended and she did not want me to have the same fate. She brought me up with the best of her conscience, but always remembered that my mother could appear again. Therefore, she also taught me all the things she knew about the Dark Arts. Various incantations and attacking curses, dark defences and of course, Occlumency, in which she was truly a master. She even taught it in the Auror´s course for a while.

When I developed the ability of prophetic dreams, as I had told you before, she devotedly took care of me when I was unwell and kept going with me to St Mungo´s until they found those pills for suppressing all dreams. I liked her very much... However, two years ago, she fell ill with a disease that, despite their best efforts, Healers could not cure, only slow it down.

Then… On Christmas of my fifth year at Hogwarts, my mother unexpectedly appeared on our doorstep. She rushed to me with a smile, as if nothing had happened at all, as if I had not seen her for the first time in fourteen years. I felt only bitterness toward her and wanted nothing to do with her. She objected that I could not kick her out of her own house and wanted to push some maternal rights on me, but I could argue that she would probably have a hard time explaining her resurrection to the authorities. She left, but she did not give up.

After my aunt's death at the beginning of the summer, she reappeared. She came as a grieving sister, but soon began to convince me that as my mother, she knows what is best for me. She wanted me to join the side of lord Voldemort, to whom she returned, and promise to become a Death Eater when I came of age. I was alone, a fifteen-year-old girl broken by the loss of my beloved aunt and… I succumbed to her pressure. She introduced me to the Dark Lord, and ever since then I have been regularly leaving Hogwarts for special training to… be worthy of it.

However, I could not stay in our house alone. I was not of legal age and had no other relatives. Mary did not want me to go to the children´s home, so she contacted Narcissa Malfoy and convinced her to take me in. I had already known Draco from school, but we only really became friends during the holidays.

With my mother, we do not exactly have a loving mother-daughter relationship. She came to see me a few times, but despite all my persuasion, she did not tell me anything about my father. However, she promised me that she would tell me his name when I had the Dark Mark on my hand. But… That is a line, beyond which I do not want to go.

That is why I told Dumbledore about my problems, because he was the only one I had the courage to confide in. He supported me and promised me that he would try to find the unknown man who was supposed to be my father, even if he did not survive the destruction of Azkaban. He also suggested my position might help in fight against Voldemort, if I work as a spy, at least until the initiation, and I agreed. I´m trying to be somewhat useful ever since.

Meanwhile, the two of us started dating... At first, I tried to resist those feeling, which you awoke in me, but then I gave up. Of course, I knew it did not make sense – a future Death Eater and the Boy Who Lived, but you made me feel happy and… and loved. Even though Draco suspected me of having something with you, I did not want to give you up. I often argued with him about it.

Then… During one meeting with the Dark Lord… He just looked into my mind and almost saw the two of us together. I fully realized how much I was threatening you by being with you, because if it came down to it, he would definitely use me against you. I was not willing to risk it anymore. I confessed to Draco that I was dating you and he kept convincing me to break up with you. So, I finally decided."

Angela eyes were teary, as she buried them into Harry´s: "It was all a prepared act, Harry. The way we wrote that note in Charms, I dropped it on purpose, so you would find it and then in this very room... We created a magic border, which alerted us that you were behind the door and… you already know the rest. Daria also appeared right after you, but she allowed me to explain everything earlier. We are still best friends, even if it does not look like it on the outside. And Draco… He is my friend and I like him a lot, but I do not love him."

She took another shaky inhale of air, but it did not help her from feeling there´s not enough oxygen in the whole room for her: "So… Now, it's up to you…"

After she finally stopped talking, there was such silence in the Room that one could have heard a pin drop to the ground.

Angela could not bear looking at her motionless former boyfriend anymore, averted her eyes and took a deep sip from the glass of water. Her throat was terribly dry.

Harry was just watching her, not batting even an eyebrow.

Anxiously, she looked in his eyes again, waiting for his reaction. She was aware it was a lot to take at once and she was awfully tensed up about what he was going to say to all this. Yet, Harry still did not utter even a word. She could not stand that uncertainty.

"Do…" she had to clear her throat before she could continue. "Do you believe me, Harry?" she asked weakly.

Harry was silent for a very long time, pondering all the information he received.

From Angela's narration, there were many surprising things to process, but they all made sense. Even though he was still upset, he could see that his former girlfriend was more nervous than he had ever seen her before. She was afraid of his reaction and it was no wonder, considering everything she had just revealed to him. He felt quite certain that she was honest with him this time, but it did not change anything about how painfully she had hurt him because of it all. And now, he could not decide how to react, while he was still full of righteous indignation. A part of him - small, yet persistent - wanted to hurt her just as she did hurt him and this was a perfect opportunity. But his heart was telling him something completely else - it would not be a right thing to do.

Finally, he leaned back more comfortably in his seat. "I believe you," he said in a low voice.

Only after that her awfully tense stance relaxed a little.

Looking into her eyes, Harry continued: "But can you explain why you're telling me all this only now?"

Angela could not stand his inquiring gaze and lowered her head. "I… I just could not bring myself to do it. I was scared. You probably don't realize that when you know all this, you're in…"

"I know very well what it means to be in danger," Harry cut her off impatiently. "I'm in it all the time just because of who I am. You might have figured that out. You just did not trust me enough."

His ex-girlfriend winced as if he hit her with those words: "I… You´re right… Damn it. I´m so sorry, Harry."

"Your apology will not change that you did your best to hurt me," he reacted harshly.

Angela´s hands tightened into shaking fists: "But… I did it with best intentions… I just wanted to protect you from myself!"

Harry was not quite sure if she was persuading herself or him. "Well, you chose quite a way to accomplish that…" he noted with a sigh, somewhat tired from the whole conversation.

Angela took a deep breath and finally raised her head again: "Harry, I know I screwed up. It was awful and I do regret what I did to you. I could not think of a better way back then, but I know that doesn´t excuse me. I… don´t know what else I can say except another apology."

Her eyes were piercing him through and through, the pure emotions in them. It made his throat tight.

At that moment, Harry was half tempted to seal her lips up with a spell, so she could not say another word, but on the other side, he had a strong urge to kiss her instead and never stop. Yet, he could not bring himself to either. No matter the circumstances, he still cared for her and wanted her. Nevertheless, he had already trusted her before and his heart remembered painfully how that worked out.

"You don´t have to say anything more," he made himself react in the end. "I know you´re serious."

"Then… Can you…" she obviously struggled with next words. "Can you forgive me?" she finally asked pleadingly.

Harry was the one looking away this time: "That won´t be so easy..."

She stared at him for a while, before curling into herself: "I see… And I understand."

He eyed her cautiously. It seemed his answer hit her quite hard.

"If you talked to me sooner, you could have spared both of us a lot of suffering," he stated quietly.

Angela breathed out unhappily: "I know and I´m…" she apparently stopped herself from apologizing again.

There was a brief, tense pause.

"So... You did not sleep with Malfoy?" Harry could not help but ask.

She sharply straightened up, her eyes suddenly burning: "Harry, I haven't had anything with anyone else in the time we've been together," she said firmly.

"And before that?" he insisted on an answer.

She frowned: "That is none of your business," she replied, kind of aloof. "I never asked whom you dated before me either."

Harry did not react to that. She was right, but it did not make him feel any better regarding her relation with Malfoy.

"What are you going to do?" he asked after a moment, wanting to change the topic.

"With what?"

"I mean with your mother, actually… with your future," Harry explained his question further.

"Well, the final initiation isn't until October..." she murmured.

"But what then? What will you do when it comes down to it?"

"I don't know, Harry. I´m sure of only one thing. I will not have that cursed Mark engraved on my arm. I don't want to be like my mother," Angela stated determined.

She really meant it. She had been lying to him before, but he could always tell that she had been hiding something. Now, she was telling the truth. About everything. It took her longer than he would have liked, but he appreciated she confided with him in the end. Yet, at the same time, he really wished things would not be so damn complicated.

"I'm glad you told me all that," he said seriously. "Though you could have done it a long time ago. I would not have disclosed you," he just had to reproach that to her again, unable to shake off the feeling of being treated unfairly.

Angela pressed her lips and was about to say something, but Harry stopped her with a raised hand: "But I admit – better late than never."

She eyed him sadly: "Thank you for hearing me out… Even though… I know that it doesn't change anything between us."

Harry returned her gaze: "No, it does not," he nodded slowly. "I'm just much better off now, knowing the truth."

"Then you surely understand that we cannot… meet any longer."

He raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

"I´m not saying that you want to!" she altered her statement hastily. "Just… if we understand each other now…"

"Yeah, we do," Harry nodded, even though that realization stabbed his chest.

"All right. So…" Angela fidgeted sheepishly.

"Well… I'd better go," Harry decided.

"Sure, it's quite late."

He stood up on uneasy legs, eying his ex-girlfriend: "Take care, Angela."

She nodded: "I will be careful."

"Good. So for now…"

"See you later."

Harry quickly headed for the door before he could change his mind. But he still stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned back to her: "Angela…"

"Yes?" she stood up, her hands visibly shaking.

Harry paced unsteadily for a moment: "I just… Good night."

Angela hunched her back: "Good night to you too, Harry."

He nodded and stormed out of the Room. He was walking away from the door as fast as he could without running. His brain was still coldly taking in the information from Angela, but his heart just wanted to go back and sweep her into his arms. Only his pride would not allow him to.

Still inside the Room, Angela stared blankly at the closed door.

What did I expect? Just what did I expect that I´m so damn depressed? she pondered gloomily in her mind.

/

Draco was heading to his Defence class after lunch. He was already in front of the classroom door when he remembered the essay he had written about vampire habits for Shiernov. Of course, he left it on the bedside table where he had placed it the night before to dry.

He cursed and dashed back into the underground corridors. The bell was already ringing by the time he rushed out of the bedroom.

"Damn it!" Draco hissed between his teeth.

Shiernov will surely please him with detention. She was just as meticulous about late arrivals as Snape.

He was taking the stairs three at a time as fast as he could, but he was not the only one rushing to class at the moment. And of course he had to run into them.

He only had one more floor to go when he slammed into someone rushing in the opposite direction with all his might.

Shouting out, they both fell to the ground, and someone´s body took Draco's breath away. After recovering a bit, he registered the blue eyes right in front of him.

Daria also realized that her whole weight was resting on Malfoy for the umpteenth time within a year and she had to try hard not to start laughing.

"We're really lucky to bump into each other all the time," she said softly, and Draco's eyebrows furrowed in surprise.

Shouldn't she be mad at me?

Daria struggled to her feet and gave Draco a hand. His jaw almost dropped.

Angela disclosed the truth to her, he finally figured and recovered a bit. Well, I'll deal with her for this later.

"Sorry," he blurted out apologetically at the same time as Daria did.

They smiled awkwardly and started to pick up their things from the ground. Draco was relieved to find that his essay survived.

"I really wonder how many more times we're going to almost kill ourselves thanks to the other," Daria said, corners of her mouth twitching amused.

"Luckily, it's almost the end of the school year, so hopefully we'll survive," Draco replied, also struggling to control himself.

Then they both spotted a quill on the ground at the same time and suddenly bent down to pick it up. Naturally, they had to butt heads hard until their eyes went dark.

Startled, they grabbed their heads, looked at each other and started laughing uncontrollably. Their laughter carried through the corridors and anyone who saw them at that moment would have thought they had gone completely mad.

When they finally calmed down, Draco bent down again and handed the quill to Daria. He touched her palm during it and felt a pleasant flutter in his stomach.

Daria smiled sweetly and thanks to that simple smile, the ice in Draco's eyes completely melted at that moment. But then, he realized what he was doing and with whom, and withdrew. Daria remembered her promise to Angela and took a step back.

They stood awkwardly opposite each other for a while, not knowing how to end their just another chance encounter. Draco suddenly glanced at his watch.

"Merlin, Shiernov´s going to kill me."

Daria got frightened as well.

"And I'll be killed by Snape," she breathed out and stormed down the stairs, just as Draco headed in the opposite direction.

/

A/N:

I admit, this was the most difficult chapter of the whole TLotH for me and I´m not completely satisfied with it, but still... I hope it will be accepted kindly.