Chapter Twenty-One

Lisa's face fell in disappointment. It was apparent that she didn't want me to go, but I had to. She handed me my ring and I held it in my palm. I wasn't sure if I would go back immediately after putting it on, or if it would take hours. I didn't risk it. I put it on the side table and faced Lisa.

"I can go in a little while. Until then, let's talk about what's going on inside that head of yours," I suggested.

She took my hand and pulled me up off of the bed. "Let's go for a walk and I'll tell you all about it."

I nodded. My stomach growled loudly, realizing that I was starving. I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"First, food," I demanded.

"Food, yes. But first, my dear, you must change your attire," she said pointing at my clothes.

"Turn around, then," I told her. She stood and turned toward the wall while I searched for the dress that the lady from earlier had laid out for me. It fit me well enough, a little loose in the mid-section, but rather pretty. I left on my own bra and underwear, opting for comfort instead of style. I tried to fasten up the back as far as I could and realized I needed help from Lisa.

"Lisa, I'm going to need you for a moment," I said still struggling.

She turned around and smiled, taking me in. She walked around me and took the hook in her hands, tugging it up. Once it was fastened, she rested her hands on my shoulders and leaned closer to me, sniffing my hair.

"I can't help myself when I'm in your presence, Jennie. I want nothing more than to help you undress."

I sighed and fell into her. I wanted the same thing, but I didn't want to put her into anymore turmoil. She was already battling with feelings I couldn't understand. So I turned and put as much needed distance between us.

"Lisa, I'm here to learn about you. So let me do that, please. We need to eat."

She nodded and the pained expression left her face.

"Right. Yes."

If we got through this night without ripping each other's clothes off, it would be a miracle.

I could smell the food coming from the inn a mile away. The whole town was quiet up until we reached the town square. Men and women walked arm in arm talking and laughing as music wafted from the inn. I held onto Lisa as a breeze blew across, taking my skirt up with it. I held it down and wished I was wearing pants and Uggs instead. Other women were dressed like me, except they didn't seem to mind the cold. I couldn't handle this cold and the billowing skirt around me. I needed warmth, so I leaned into Lisa for it.

"Cold, love?" she asked as she ran her hand down my arm. "We're almost there. Just across the square." She pointed to a small building, and I nodded. I hoped it had some sort of heat inside.

"What is this town?" I asked, realizing that I never figured it out.

"Larrison," she answered.

My mouth fell open in shock and realization. My college would be in Larrison, sometime in the future. I looked around for some sort of familiar sign of the town I knew, but couldn't see anything. It was very possible that Larrison had changed dramatically over the years.

"Do you know it?" Lisa asked.

"I do. I go to school here now."

She cocked her head trying to understand my meaning.

"I haven't told you," I began. "I started going back to school since I got settled with Gram's library. I am so excited to be able to finally get my degree and start the rest of my life."

Just thinking about finishing my schooling, made me smile. I was giddy with excitement that my life was going back to normal.

Lisa's face seemed delighted too. She pulled me across the cobblestone street and into a small alcove, away from everyone else.

She drew me into her and gave me a hug. "I'm so elated for you, Jennie. I know you'll make a great teacher. I hope you get all your dreams."

I closed my eyes and leaned into her. "Me too."

I was realizing that some of my dreams were right here in her arms. It was a problem I wasn't able to fix. I couldn't choose between Lisa and my current life, and I didn't want to. I wished that I could merge the two.

"Lisa," I whispered, "I don't want to be without you, but I have to leave. Does that make sense at all?"

She looked up at me, her eyes were shining bright in the darkness. "Jennie, nothing makes sense since you've landed in my life. I still cannot fathom that a girl from the future holds a place in my heart."

I couldn't believe it either, but it was happening. We were making our own history; it was just a separate story. The story of Lisa and Jennie wasn't going to have a happy ending. We wouldn't make history books, and no one would know about us. "We were doomed from the start, weren't we? I mean, can it end happily?" I wished that she had the answers I didn't. Her blank stare told me no.

"I do not know what to say, Jennie. Only that I wish you could stay with me."

A lump formed into my throat as I fought the tears off. I wished that I could split myself into two.

"I can't leave my friend alone to run Gram's library. I just can't. I have a duty to run it and—"

She put her fingers on my lips, stopping me. "Shh, darling. No need to explain. I understand."

A tear slid down my cheek and Lisa wiped it away.

"This will not be goodbye, Jennie Kim. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not until it's truly time, understand?" I nodded and she smiled. "Now, we shall feast."

We entered the inn and sat at a small table in the corner by a fireplace. We ate until our bellies were full and happy. Eating out was completely different in Lisa's time. There were no women alone with other women, but instead couples or just men eating for one. It was very strange to see how differently women were treated, and I forgot that women didn't have the same rights then that they did in my time. I wished I could tell some of these people that times would be changing and everyone would be equal eventually.

Back at the hotel, Lisa snuck me inside since it was inappropriate for me to be staying with her. We weren't married, and it was in their eyes trashy, or something like that. They probably thought I was a prostitute. I laughed as we snuck inside and Lisa held her laughs in until we got inside the room, then she burst out loud with giggles.

"I must say, you're a sneaky and clever girl, Jennie Kim. And I will miss you while you're gone. I wish that I knew when your next arrival would be," she said as we both lay on the bed, staring at each other. I felt her gaze deepen as my smile grew larger. Lisa had a power over me that I wish I could will away; it would make leaving so much more bearable.

"I don't know when it will be for you, but it won't be long for me. Time works differently for us, doesn't it?" She nodded. "It could be a week for you, or a month," I explained. "I learned so much from my guide book, but not anything on how to control my visits. I am supposed to be learning as much as I can about your life, but instead I'm disrupting it. You need to go and be with your father, don't you?"

I didn't really know what it was about Mr. Jackson that made Lisa want to hide here. I figured it would come up in conversation, but it never did. Lisa had always let me talk about my life instead.

She nodded and said, "As much as I'd love to stay here with you, I must return to my father and back into my place."

"Which is?"

"Under his thumb. Like I said before, I don't like the person I could become with my father's guidance."

Hearing this made me sad and I wished I could tell her how it would all end, but even I didn't know what would happen in Lisa's future.

"Lisa, only you can control what type of person you will be, not your dad or anyone else. You control your fate. And your dad may be well known, like you said before, but you need to do what you want to or else this life is worthless."

She pulled me closer to her and nuzzled into my neck. "I wish it were that easy."

I pulled away and sat up. "It is that easy, Lisa. Tell your dad to back off. You might piss him off, but he'll get over it."

She sat up with me and laughed. "If I tell my father to sod off, he may go about and whack me, or worst yet, disown me. I cannot be a person of integrity and own my own shipping company by doing that."

She needed her dad's money and his allies in order to do what she dreamt of. I understood that. I was giving her advice on a topic that I didn't understand. I couldn't very well tell Gram no when she asked me to take over her life.

"Well, the next time I see you, Lisa, I hope that you're not hiding out."

She took my ring off of the bed side table and handed it to me. Her eyes were sad, but she had a smile on her face.

"I guess we shouldn't put it off any longer," she said.

I shook my head and looked down at the ring. I needed to get back, but I didn't want to yet.

"It will be all right, Jennie. You can go and come back soon, love. I promise I'll be fine. Next time you see me, I'll not be hiding out."

I looked up and grabbed her. I held her so tightly, wishing that the answer would come to me. What was I going to do about these feelings I had for someone in the past? A character in a book that I couldn't properly be with. Could I run away from my life and live inside her world? Would I become a part of history? Would I really be able to live here with her?

"I love you, Lisa Manoban," I choked out.

"And I love you, Jennie Kim."

I slipped the ring onto my finger and felt the pull instantly. "Until next time," I yelled.