Dear ejected not my dad, I know you are busy in the realm of Hell where I wish you well and that you are truly thriving, and in good health.
...
I finally get it now, that joke you made about giving me 'space' before jabbing that airlock open and thrusting thyself out.
...Oh wait, why am I calling?
I'll make this quick, and I thought this was a text message.
... Not my father, a popperoni-less cheese pizza with extra crust...
Well, life is peachy and orange you happy it's not too Green. I'm not.
Oh yeah, the fire on Mira was brighter than thy flames that burnt thou screaming fake mother alive.
What I'm trying to say is that we immediately transitioned to Airship- and that the wicked warlock is dead.
Sher I locked the door behind me so the LOAN SHARKS or INCUBUSES can't get in.
"Hi Blue!" Orange appears behind me and immediately starts to do its job. Why did I hide in Weaponry today. I nearly jump out of my skin, and wish I had when Purple guy floats in as well. Why is he still here, the exorcism was a fall. Gah wa wa wab... It's amazing how someone floating in can make you feel like you're sinking under the cold, cruel depthless waters. Orange nearly snaps my neck by grabbing my face in his merciful hands and almost crushing my jawline. Hell yeah my friends are great.
"Blue... Please do your tasks... UwU~" Orange kisses me on the forehead and trace a line over my lips with their thumb as my heartless heart grows ice. This intrigues me somehow. A shiver down my spine and my body aching all the time, as Orange slams my head onto the floor and mounts GUNS (And I'm not just talking about their muscles here).
Stupid, don't look at their butt!
I cough up blood in a puddle of small vomit as I get up and think about Card Swipe. They literally Swiped to Find. I would make a burger for my lunch and buy myself a drink, but my wallet is missing.
Yellow and Red are still dead...
So, there's that!
Thwack!
"Wal Let you buy me a drink... Or, uh, just make me a burger!" Purple guy vanishes and I wonder if he was if at any consequence relevant to my plight. I'm also trying out some new material.
...His was decent.
What I'm trying to say is this was Airship. Orange has begun the transformation into full Yandere-oh woah-and I DO NOTHING to stop it, and that could admittedly lead to a downfall with the chainsaw. What a survivor I am!
"Blue!" Green spooks me by being spooky and laughing about it. I was scared thrice today. On a glorious sunny space Wednesday... Or was it Thursday... I lost a Spelling Bee once!
"Green, you're mean~" I tease and smack him on the shoulder. I kinda wanna punch Green in the face for some reason, but I won't allow it.
I reminiscence about something else:
Mainly my first imposter game on Polus, and how I waved to my imposter teammate, and they didn't wave back. And that was when Purple was being nice to me for free.
I miss Polus... Why did I leave again?! To be an astronaut of course! Duh me, you're such a stupidly dumb-founded awesome friendless schmuck...
My hurt feelings and pride are nothing compared to my soon to be broken jawline if I don't at least pretend to be doing my tasks. That, and death.
"Hey, where's my chainsaw?!" Orange's eyes widen and I slowly see how all the sanity leaves the face. I take notes that I will probably die here. Where is the chainsaw though. I don't care.
"Oh Cyan has it!" Green jerks a single thumb towards the room I locked Cyan into. I have a bad feeling about almost all of this...
"F**k, Green you a**shole!" I mutter so that no one else can hear. I sigh. I pick myself and brush myself off. I blush venomously and look DETERMINED. Time to fight!
Fight, fight, fight!
Orange gasps in realization. "She's using the chainsaw of enchantment to summon an army of the dead to build a guillotine-so that was can all watch-to behead Blue!"
"Duh Orange, everyone knows the lore!" I roll my eyes like it's apparent... A-Pear-ent... I'll just be over here, cowering in the corner for a while.
We go to the scroll of prophecy next. Legend and logic have it...
There is an enchanted chainsaw, do behold
If fallen into the wrong hands, heads will roll
Or the right hands, depending on the bean who wields thy power
Look toward the chainsaw for your final hour.
The best defense against Pear Powers.
Pear Powers...? Aw dumb, my Pear annoyance.
Well isn't that vague.
"Alright Blue, see you at the execution then!" Orange folds the scroll and tucks it back into the filing cabinet for storage. I'm sure we'll all need that again someday... For something. I shrug as we split up and I go into the kitchen. Well whatever, I probably deserve it. I use my money to make a burger with and eat it. Pondering my life decisions. Who am I paying for this?
"Hey, that's mine!" Purple nearly knocks me out of my chair with the power of thy shock and their telepathy. I wave him away, clearly annoyed and feed up with LIES.
"Screw you, you're dead, what do you need food for?!" I grumble with my mouth full eating a pickle. I grew a Pear out of my arm for nourishment because that happened. Oh yeah, I have Pear Powers. That must be the only reason Cyan's trying to kill me, and nothing else. Sure I nearly decapitated her back on Mira but... Fair is fair right? Wait what?!
And then Explosions happened!
And she was like 'I'll get you somehow' and I was like 'I dare you to come for me'-heehee nice-and she said 'The Loan Sharks never forget' and I turned and said 'Wait what?'
And now we're here, whelp time to get my A$$ kicked, again!
So anyway... I shift uncomfortably on the stool and strangely vomit all over the tiles. Something is creeps along my wild thought process of unthinkable circumstances:
The Pears are laced with Cyanide
Cyanide
I'm Green and I dislike you, wanna make-out?
"Ah!" I throw the pear and it explodes and the electricity goes with it. Light's out, again. Somehow...
"What the hell?! Schmuck?!" Purple is enraged like a flame in the night ready to melt me with its scorn. I rub on my chiseled lips and cough.
"I'm finished, enjoy!"
"What the- Come back here!"
I barely focus as Orange stalks me from around the corner. I don't even flinched when I get pounced on. I think Orange get his chainsaw back.
"Don't worry, I won't let Cyan kill you, you're mine! Muhahaha aha aha hahahaha ha~" The chainsaw pops off and I stare upward blankly yonder.
I think Orange may be in love with me and/or crazy or both!
My Pear Powers are powerless right now again Chainsaw-San-UwU-as I pout and try not to lose my dignity in the process of being thoroughly decapitated and then stabbed to death as a Zombie.
Blood trickles down and a body hit the floor right next to me... Blood gets into my mouth.
Green took a rifle... Awesome. Wait, those guns are just for show in the Weaponry?! I scramble upward.
I don't know much about guns, but I think I'm next...
I'm pretty killable, yeah.
"Let's go, we can take the helicopter pad over to Electrical, go through the maze of wires and levers, and we can SNIPE HER!" Green reaches for my hands. I bite my lip, filled to the brim with curiosity, and an urge to kiss him. I'm curious about how Purple pickpocketed my lunch money... and, I'm very deep so I'm wondering if he even was an Incubus or someone who just honestly wanted to make out with me.
As long as I get the Exp, am I right story-dwellers?!
... I think that's the accurate terminology.
This has already been a great experience of NOTHING so I agree and caress Green's hands to swiftly, and desperately. I have to go now.
The important thing is the BIG CLIMAX.
I zone out and come to when I've decapitated Cyan with an Axe.
She was like 'No, I'm sorry!' and I was like 'It's too late to apologize!'
God I'm awesome~
Oh yeah the maze was fun, I had a great time.
A year prior- I mean later (at exactly 4:20 am)
Hold one, why am I up so early? I sip my coffee as I forget to put on deodorant so Green won't get too close to me. I don't normally stink it's just...
"Coffee, Green Goblin!" I thrust my cup toward the coffee maker. I don't take orders for this schmuck.
"No caffeine for me, but I will take your kidney!" He jokes, well at least I think he does.
And so we laugh as Purple scrutinizes and judges me for existing. He also drinks his coffee out of his spooky ghost cup. UwU.
Maybe one day, we will return to Polus... Though I remain just a little bit doubtful. I like this scenario!