Title: Love Is Not a Children's Game
Summary: The new boarder, third year high school student, Iroha Isshiki seems to get her kicks out of teasing Hikigaya, who recently started going to university after recuperating from a dreadful accident. He might not need a cane nowadays to walk around, but he is definitely not capable of joining her, in what he thinks are childish antics and silly games. But Isshiki makes it difficult. Really difficult. And by the end, he is left questioning how the hell twister can be called a children's game.
Note: Just a fluffy one-shot with a hint of ecchi-ness.
Iroha Isshiki is a menace. Hachiman Hikigaya doesn't know what to make of her. She is a high school student but she is in her third year, so she likes to be treated as an adult. He has no problem with treating her as such. At first he thought about treating her like he did Ritsu Kawai. But these two women are entirely different creatures. Let Ritsu read her book in peace and she is happy. But Iroha Isshiki, he doesn't know what makes her tick. Lately, he found out, what keeps her entertained is making his life a living hell.
"Senpai, let's play twister." Isshiki says.
Hachiman Hikigaya was trying to watch some television in peace. Iroha Isshiki appeared before him holding the large mat with circles of different colours and its spinner which decided which appendage to put on which coloured circle. She had a mischievous smile on her face which he found really threatening. He had no idea why men found her cute. She was like a man eating tiger. Correction, a man eating tigress. And the female of the species were known to be the deadliest. He had no chance in hell of winning against her. Not that he was thinking about playing in the first place.
He gave her a dull look. "I'm not really interested in a children's game."
He thought he did well. It was a simple plan. Make her antics sound like something a child would do and she will pout and mutter some unkind words beneath her breath which he didn't really care about and maybe, maybe if he was lucky, she would drop the entire idea. But it seemed like lady luck was not in his corner today. Iroha Isshiki was persistent. She put the mat and the spinner on the floor. There was space in the living room. She could have placed them anywhere. She could have placed them to the left side or the right side of the table which occupied the middle of the living room. But she put them down right in front of the table and stood there with her arms crossed over her breasts and a smug look on her face.
He was pretty sure she let out a small giggle. He frowned and tried to shoo her away like some annoying pigeon. "Go away Isshiki. You are blocking my view of the television."
"Don't worry senpai. I will move." And then she did the exact opposite and said those words which filled him with dread. "Right hand on red circle!"
Hachiman Hikigaya watched in pure horror as she bent down and put her hand on the red circle. There was no reason to raise her hips like that but she did and now instead of catching a glimpse of the television, he had a full view of her ass cheeks wrapped in those tight short skirts she was so fond of wearing. He felt his throat go dry. He tried to look over the curve of her hips and focused on the sounds coming from the television. It was a documentary about Buddhism and its teachings and the skilled scholars were telling him to resist temptation. I'm trying Lord Buddha, Hachiman thought, but this woman is clearly the devil.
"Senpai, can I tempt you with this game." Now she was using the words from the documentary itself to entice him and to sell her point she bounced her hips, up and down, and he was pretty sure if she continued like this her ass cheeks would have popped out of the short skirt. Was she even wearing panties? He didn't dare look. He didn't dare to think. They were at home. But c'mon, she was wearing a skirt. You had to wear underwear with this kind of clothing. But Iroha Isshiki was a dangerous woman. And he had no idea that a game like twister could be so erotic. How was this even a children's game in the first place. There was something wrong with the world.
"Fine, I will play." He relented.
Iroha Isshiki didn't relinquish her provocative position. Her hips were still raised in air, both hands on the mat, one hand on the coloured circle of her choosing. Now that he thought about it, she hadn't actually used the spinner in the first place. She just did whatever the hell she liked. How very much like her. He had to be wary with her. And if you thought he was being overly cautious or paranoid for no reason, what she said next made him second guess his own sanity. "Okay senpai. You can play." She was saying it like he was the one bothering her to play this silly game in the first place. It was like she was doing him a favour. He almost made to leave which would have been the smart thing to do, but he stood and watched and listened and his brain went numb at what followed next. "But since you said this is a children's game, I thought I would make things more adult, you know, so I can stimulate you." Then, she quickly added. "Stimulate your brain, I mean." And she finished with a musical chortle.
He had a bad idea about this. The words 'adult' and 'stimulate' were raising red flags. For god's sake Isshiki's right hand on the red circle should have been taken as a bad omen, a wicked premonition to expect evil things. But curiosity got the better of him. "What do you mean?"
Iroha Isshiki started to explain this idea of hers and it didn't make much sense at all. "I mean instead of saying things like 'right leg on blue circle' we should replace the word circle with body parts which are round."
"And why should we do that?" He asked.
"Because it would be interesting." She replied without missing a beat.
Hikigaya looked at her position which now that he got a good look from a different angle resembled that of a woman doing a downward dog. He thought about yoga and not the sex position, thankfully, but his mind was getting there, down in the gutter like most men would think in his position. It didn't help that, maybe because of how difficult it was to maintain this position, maybe because of her lack of strength or weak arms, she would occasionally shake her hips and his rotten dead fish eyes will be on them in an instant like they were following some stupid laws of physics.
But he let out a world weary sigh and tuned out the television and joined her on the mat. But he still had time to make one last dig at her stupid idea. "All the blood is rushing to your head. You are talking complete nonsense Isshiki."
Maybe she took it a bit personally. "Less talk and more put-your-limbs-on-the-right-circle, senpai. Now," He noticed she didn't go for the spinner and that should have been the first hint to expect foul play.
"Right hand on blue balls!" Isshiki exclaimed.
Hachiman Hikigaya almost collapsed on top of her right there and he thought it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if he crushed this sly little fox under his weight. Iroha Isshiki said that on purpose, there was no doubt left in his mind. He actually sounded a bit angry. "Who has blue balls you annoying brat!?"
Isshiki Iroha didn't feel remotely insulted. "Senpai, I meant put your right hand one the blue circle." As she said this, she batted her eyelashes in what he assumed someone might find cute, innocent and endearing. But then she showed her true self when she gave him a saucy wink. "Senpai, did you forget the clever rules I came up for this game to appeal to your more adult nature." Her smile turned predatory. "Or now do you want to play the kid's version of this game." And then she had the nerve to hook a finger on her bottom lip and pull it down in a really erotic manner. "We can do whatever you want, you know."
Damn double meaning sentences and her brilliant mind and his rotten brain for bringing up these erotic images in his head, which had them playing twister in one moment and then having her petite body writhing below him in the next, his hand up her thighs, under her skirt, reaching for her panties which were red, like it said on the imaginary spinner.
Hachiman Hikigaya shook his head and thought rationally. There was no way that will happen. He might not need a cane to walk these days but a game like twister which required being flexible and reaching hard to reach spots was going to be difficult and more than a bit painful. The last thing he wanted was to risk another injury from a stupid game.
Iroha Isshiki might have the right intentions. She might want to bring him out of his shell and force him to have some fun with her, but he didn't feel quite as ready yet. He unconsciously scratched the scars on his cheek.
Ah,
He was truly evil.
"Alright." Hachiman Hikigaya decided to play her game. "Right hand on red cheeks."
"Senpai, cheeks are not round. Unless," she had a bewildered expression on her face. For the first time, out of some form of self-consciousness she reached down and adjusted the length of her skirt, pulling it down a couple of times. This time her hips didn't sway in the air. They were solid structures, completely unmoving.
Hikigaya smiled like a predator who had caught scent of its prey and started to move his right hand. Isshiki closed her eyes and almost stammered. This was not what she had in mind. "S-senpai, they are not r-red." Yes make him see reason. Her ass cheeks weren't red. Oh god, what if he spanked her to make them turn red. Her heart wasn't prepared for this kind of sexual foreplay. This is what she gets for tickling a bored dragon. She was doomed. Her heart was racing really fast. Her hips were raised. Her -
"Ouch!"
Hachiman Hikigaya had reached out with his right hand and pinched the right side of her face, her right cheek. And Isshiki never felt so stupid in her entire life. She blushed, both her cheeks filled up with warmth and yes, the colour red.
And senpai had the nerve to smile. "Well, would you look at that." Another playful squeeze. "They are round and red."
But before she could make a play at him, he got up on his feet and walked out of the living room, an almost inaudible chuckle filling the silence.
Iroha Isshiki was left on the twister mat, no longer in the stupid downward dog position. She was sitting upright, maybe slouching a bit, biting on her thumb nail with an annoyed expression on her face. At last she clicked her tongue and shook her head, admitting defeat. For the first time, losing didn't feel all that bad. In fact, it made her feel a bit warm. "I will get him next time." She promised to herself.
A/N: I'm surprised so many people heard about Odd Taxi. It really is a great anime. And rest assured, our favourite taxi driver is going to drive our favourite loner to his interview at a café where he will meet our favourite information broker and – well – a few more characters.
Okay – so – the first chapter of Ikebukuro – let's do this. Now many of you requested a prologue. So I want to know, do you want the first chapter to be a prologue. Or do you want me to start straight in the middle – Haruno gives Hachiman a job. He investigates. He is stuck. He meets Izaya. He asks him to meet 'X'. And then Hachiman and 'X' solve the problem together. OR Hachiman solves the problem alone, going lone wolf, so to speak. Let me know in the reviews.
Now, time for the polls:
Poll#1: In the Ikebukuro fic, Hachiman gets interviewed for a job. Who should interview him?
Option 1: Izaya Orihara.
Option 2: Light Yagami.
Option 3: Lelouch Lamperouge.
Option 4: Motoko Kusanagi.
Option 5: Osamu Dazai.
Finally,
Poll#2: Which Characters Do You Want To See In The Ikebukuro Fic?
Option 1: Legoshi
Option 2: Loid Forger.
Option 3: Accelerator.
Option 4: Misogi Kumagawa.
Option 5: Gilgamesh.
Option 6: A Character From The Reviews.
Please pick accordingly.
Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.
Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.
Won't betray your dreams.