Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Brandon was next. Dylan had invited him down for New Year's but he had rang the day before just to check in and hadn't wanted to get off the phone. He had moved into the bungalow and after kicking Steve out on the second day he had been there alone ever since. Without school, a girl, his best friend and his twin he was lonely- I invited him to come down a day earlier. Dylan had given me the stink eye at that. Mum and Dad had stayed most of the twenty-eighth, after the success of day one, they had enjoyed the casual Mexican cantina that we had taken them to, and had loved the Globe.

The campus tour of both the drama studios and The Scripps Institution had impressed them both; they had always been supportive of the college just not the living arrangements, they had come back to our house wearing their new University of California San Diego sweaters and asking a million questions. They had stayed for lunch and coffee and tea afterwards, and then had one last walk with us on the beach, and then even as it was getting late they insisted on organising which weekends they'd be coming down to attend the rest of the Globe Productions of the school year. Dylan and I were both thrilled that it had gone well but also a little uneasy that it had gone that well.

My parents hadn't been that supportive of me in a long time, it had me unsure- I was now just waiting for the phone call that contradicted it all. Dylan was uneasy because he feared that it may push back any official reconciliation between us. Since my father had left he had convinced himself that that was his objective. I had sat through many discussions of him pointing out how supportive Jim was, how nice it was to listen to records together, and how it must be my Dad's strategy to make us fear disappointing them again. I didn't know if my Dad was that machiavellian to play such a long strategy but Dylan wasn't convinced he wasn't.

Brandon was due sometime over the morning and while Dylan was excited to see his brother he wasn't so excited that our little world would be taken over by more guests so soon. I had gone surfing with him that morning to soften the blow and then still in my my bathing suit and a pair of shorts tried to clear out more of the garden beds. Mum had convinced me that I could actually grow some vegetables and I was going to try. Dylan had gone into the house showered, made coffee and arrived back outside with the twins giving me a look like I was crazy.

"Baby while I appreciate you walking around in your bathing suit and I love the fact that you grabbed my board shorts to wear off the line it looks like those storm clouds are about to hit and Brandon will probably be here soon; come in and have a shower before it starts." I had got lost in replanting the plants that were looking healthy to be relocated and clearing out the ones that weren't worth keeping I hadn't even noticed the clouds or how late into the morning it had got.

I look at my hands, then at Dylan. "The line is full."

He rolls his eyes and disappears inside coming out with the empty clothes basket, "I'll get the clothes while you shower. I lit the fireplace as the storm is supposed to stick around all day, hopefully B's in the mood for a quiet day of listening to music and watching the ocean."

"I promised him a home cooked meal as he has been eating out since he moved into the bungalow, I'm glad I pulled out the chicken now as a roast sounds like a good call." I hear a car pull into the driveway in front of the garage. "Crap I'm a mess. I'm going to get into the shower before he comes in."

I'm laughing at my girl as she runs inside with the twins running after her thinking their mum was playing a game. I move over to the tall gate on the garden wall and open it, Brandon is at the back of his stang lifting out two bags when he pulls the boot door down I understand why there are two bag's. I try my best not to let my face form the grimace it naturally wants to.

"Hi."

Brandon turns and smiles, "hey Jones. Hope you don't mind but I saw Kelly at The Pit this morning and she was planning a boring new year's alone, as Donna and David have gone to Texas to visit her parents, I didn't think you or Bren would mind the surprise."

What was it about her that could make smart guy's act stupid? Of course we would mind, we had discussed the treatment of his sister by the gang he knew Kelly participated actively in that. "No of course not come on in, Bren's just in the shower we went for a surf this morning then she got stuck into the garden." As they follow me in I show them around the house.

"Wow it's like you guy's have lived here for years, Mum raved about the house and how you guy's decorated it I can see why. It's very you brother though it screams Bren as well."

"Yeah well considering we choose everything together it probably should do that." I bring them into the main room that goes out to the deck you can see the storm over the ocean about to kick off- shit the clothes. "Hey make yourself at home I'm just going to duck outside and grab the washing off the line. I was about to do it when I heard your call pull up."

I'm back not long after and find them sitting on the couch, I grab B a coffee and offer one to Kelly she asks for a water instead. Once the drinks are served and I've topped up my mug I sit in one of the leather chairs and try and place host, I ask about the drive, Nat, everyone while I fold Bren and my washing in the basket by the chair. The basket is finished when I see my girl, well I hear the pattering of puppy feet indicating that her guard dog's are on the move. In a matter of seconds the two excitable puppies are bursting into the room followed closely by Bren with her wet hair in a towel. She's as surprised as I was to see we have additional company, though she recovers quickly by greeting them with hugs and making sure they have drinks. While she is doing that I go and pour her her one cup of coffee for the day.

I then move the basket into the laundry and on instinct grab the comb from the bathroom. I throw a cushion on the floor in front of my chair and place Bren's coffee on the coffee table directly in front. Without thought she instinctively moves to the cushion and the puppies move to her lap while she sips on her coffee. As I listen to them all natter away I remove her towel and comb out her hair. Brandon just gives me an amused expression as if he knows this is our normal routine, which it is. Bren continues on like nothing is happening, she's used to this now.

When I'm lost in the motion, I hear her speak my name- I have no idea what they are talking about. "Dyl. What do you think?"

"About?"

She laugh's and looks over her shoulder, "pancakes? We haven't had breakfast yet and with the rain coming down out there it feels like pancake weather."

I smile indulgently at her, "oh it's the weather that is calling for the pancakes and not the chocolate chips I picked up yesterday at the grocery store?"

"Well you know I wouldn't want them to feel neglected in the pantry."

I laugh, "of course. I'm sure they'll appreciate that." I hold out my hand knowing she's about to get up, when she's standing up I look at her. "Want me to fry up some bacon?"

"I'm up for that Jones."

Bren gives me stern eyes, "Rebel and Shadow get none it's bad for them, that means no accidental drops on the floor this time."

"Woman it was an accident."

"Yeah and I'm not that naïve Midwest girl anymore I'm not buying that."

"Okay it was an accident that they got that much. Rebel practically ripped it from Shadows mouth- she's-"

"Spoilt?"

"I was going to say food motivated."

Brandon and Kelly soon move over to the dining table by the kitchen while Bren and I are moving around the kitchen getting the late breakfast sorted. While the bacon is frying I make Bren a cup of tea and then grab the plates out, by the time Bren's made a stack of chocolate chip pancakes the tables set and the bacons done.

My girl leads most of the conversation and ensures that Kelly is included when the three of us naturally fall into our short hand conversation together; joking about Bren's left hook, or Brandon's obsession with his shampoo. Even with her there it's nice for the three of us to hang out. I've missed it.

The day runs away with us, without anything much happening. I turn on some of Jack's albums and joke with Brandon about Jim's heavy rock era in college. Bren organises the roast with Kelly offering to help out. Bren and I naturally end up on the floor together in front of the fireplace by mid afternoon playing with the dog's and trying to get them to learn sit. Brandon and Kelly are on the coach once again talking well flirting with each other.

"Dyl check out Shadow."

I look over at the little guy sitting up supper straight staring obsessively at Bren's hand that holds the treat. "Well done Baby, if you could get our little girl to follow suit that would be great. Rebel look at how good your brother is."

"Oh god stop. Rebel don't listen to Daddy, you'll get there on your own. Dyl no comparing the twins I've hated being the bad twin all my life."

"You aren't the bad twin-"

"Jones I beg to differ."

"Shut it Brandon."

"See as the good twin I'd never say that sister dear."

"Oh-"

I lift my hands in the sign of time out, "twins truce." They stare the other down until Brandon caves. My girl turns to look at me triumphantly, "okay I won't compare them."

"Thank you."

"Though you know to me you are the better twin right?"

My girl gives me a beaming smile as Brandon yells out "hey!"

It's after dinner and the rain has stopped so Bren and Brandon have decided to go to the video store; something about arranging a classic pyjama Christmas movie marathon. I'm washing the dishes as Kelly went to have a shower, I don't hear her come back in the room until she speaks to me.

"You know this here, this Dylan is the guy I wanted to date. I never got him, maybe a shadow of him at times but not the real thing."

I breathe out and turn around picking up the dish cloth to dry my hands. "What's your point Kel? That I was a shit boyfriend?"

"Yeah to me you were, but never to her." I lift my brow, I cheated on her. "No when she came back from Paris you… you wanted to stay with her. I saw you embrace her at the bottom of those stairs how you looked at her. It was always natural with you too, it was raw and honest. I'm not sure if we ever had that, maybe the swings that night but… you'd have never played my hair or made me tea, you know instinctively what she wants and need's. She's like that with you. The swings you called me your soulmate but I'm not, if I was I would never have needed to hear it I'd have known I'd have felt it. Soulmates recognise each other instinctively, they don't need to scream for attention; make scenes in quad's. If I was your soulmate I'd have understood what you'd have needed when Jack died, you would have seen I was struggling."

"What do you want me to say Kel? I don't know how to love I wasn't taught I wasn't shown it but-"

"But you know instinctively how to love Brenda, it's not effort it's it's organic; no big over the top declaration or title needed it's unnecessary it's in every action every look." There is a level of resignation in her tone.

I nod, it's true. I understood Bren in a way that shouldn't be possible. We had no shared life experiences, came from different backgrounds but we knew each other, our souls knew each other from the moment they met- it was recognition, it was awareness that it wasn't the first time.

"Kelly if you are asking me why it's not like that with you, I don't know. On paper we have so much in common it should have been easy, it should make sense, we never did."

"No the only thing that was easy was to hurt each other, we should have cared when it happened- we didn't. We ignored it. We clashed on everything, and even the part the physical stuff that worked it led to bitterness because it wasn't found in anything else. Hell even then it didn't grab either of our attention for long. It wasn't powerful enough for us not to seriously look at other's."

I don't respond she's right and she knows it. "You are happy here, I can see it. It's not swinging from the chandeliers-"

"Actually it is. It's swinging from chandeliers every time she's near me, it's the rush that runs through me. It may not look it from the outside but that's the point Bren and I aren't here for show we don't need to be loud as we aren't in love with each other to make others happy or for them to look at us. We are in love because that's the only way we know how to be, we will love each other in whatever way the other needs. She loved me enough to let me go to support me as a best friend and I love her enough to have just this just this existence for life. I love her enough to be happy with only this here, if she can never completely trust me with her whole heart this will be more than enough for me. I think no I know that's what soulmates are, they are a love that is endless, selfless, and adaptable. It's a love that will find its way to grow even if it's uncared for."

"You know you never said it? I've heard the word love pass your lips more in the last minute than in seven months I never once even heard it mumbled."

I don't answer there's no nice words I can offer that won't be a falsehood. I never said it, and it wasn't because I feared the word. I see it in her eye's she knows why it was never said.