Chapter 15 – Freedom

Author's Note: I promise you that Anakin and Obi-Wan will meet again, but it will not be in this chapter. They need to work through some things first. :)

To Guest: Thanks for reviewing! :D

WARNING: Depression (major depression), slight (or more than slight) possessiveness, codependency (does that need a warning? xD).

~ Amina Gila

It's a little over a week after coming to Tatooine that Anakin – even if he looks more like Vader again, he can't seem to make himself think of himself with that name anymore – and Sabe make their move. They don't do anything all at once, but in the dead of night, they sneak to the slave quarters and free a small handful of people, deactivating their chips and cutting them out so they cannot be reactivated. They smuggle the freed away, taking them to the Lars homestead overnight before sending them to a transport which will take them off world.

Maybe the Trail can't do much yet, but now, with more resources and Anakin, it can do a lot more. Freeing slaves in random places in the night is a good start, but it's not enough. Anakin can't stand the feel of the misery and suffering all around him, even as it rubs against him, feeling familiar and well-worn. He grew up with it there, and he's used to it; it's like a second skin to him. It's shaped him in so many ways that he cannot tear free the imprints the desert has left behind.

It's something that the Jedi never understood either. He could never let go of his past or forget about it when it was all he'd ever known, when it shaped him. He could never simply forget about all the others who suffered, including his mother, those who he left behind when he went to a better place. He couldn't help them, but he couldn't forget, either.

"We need to do more," Anakin tells Sabe as they sit together over a meal in her small home, her partner being gone with a group of freed slaves, discussing their next objective. "We can do more. I can do more. We just need to coordinate it. It's time. We don't need to keep waiting."

She hums, thoughtfully, expression hardening with determination that makes her look so much like Padme it hurts. "I agree."

The third week begins with a more major operation. They know that, to effectively do anything, they need to seize control and oust Jabba. Anakin is a one-man army, and he isn't shy about that fact. He might be ashamed of how his power came to be, but he's more than willing to use it if it proves necessary. Either of them, or both of them, can rule in Jabba's stead. And from there, it'll be so much easier to eliminate slavery. There are too many slavers for them to outlaw it outright, but they can be clever about it. There would be nothing unusual about a power struggle on Tatooine, even one involving Jabba.

He and Sabe spend hours scouting out what they can see of Jabba's palace, and Anakin even wires a droid to scout the inside. They only have a small handful of people, and he'll be doing most of the fighting, so he needs to know what they're up against. They're in the middle of what is promising to be their final strategizing meeting when Sabe asks the question. "Have you spoken to Padme since you came back to this time?"

Anakin stills. He's done his best not to think about Padme, not that it's been hard, though it's harder when he's around Sabe, since most of his thoughts are being consumed by Obi-Wan. And Sidious. He fears his old Sith master, and he can't help but wonder what Sidious will do to him if he catches him. And Obi-Wan… he misses him. He misses him so much. Even after Falling, Anakin often thought of Obi-Wan, though he often deluded himself into thinking that he only felt hatred for him.

It wasn't true. Not then and certainly not now. To be sure, he's still upset at Obi-Wan, and he probably will be for a while. The hurt that Obi-Wan caused him is deep, but his true master is trying to make up for it, and that counts for something. He wants them to be together, to try and rebuild something. The thought of cutting Obi-Wan out of his life makes him feel like he can't breathe. They – they are meant to be together; it's one of those things in fate that one can't reason with or understand. It simply is.

It's one fundamental truth to the universe, any universe. Anakin can't understand it, but he won't complain either. And why would he? Obi-Wan is far too important to him, and he pities any version of himself who never got this kind of bond with Obi-Wan. His life will always be worse for it. It's a Fact.

"I have not," he admits.

Sabe gives him a look. "Then, I'll call her, and you can talk to her. She's your wife, Anakin, and even if it's been a long time for you, it hasn't been for her. She still cares about you. She deserves to hear from you, to know you're alright, to hear from you what happened."

What is it with Nubian women being so… bossy? Or is it just a Padme and Sabe thing? It does a lot to show how similar the two women are, though. It's no wonder that they were able to impersonate one another so well when Padme was still a Queen. But Sabe isn't really asking him. She's telling him, and Anakin knows that he's willfully putting off having any sort of conversation with Padme. He doesn't want to talk to her, doesn't want to tell her anything about the future. (He's afraid of her rejection, even if it would never be half as bad as Obi-Wan's.)

It's only a couple hours later when Sabe calls Anakin to her private, long-distance comm unit where the connection is flashing on hold. "Talk to her," Sabe orders. "She's been worried about you, just like I expected. You should have talked to her a long time ago. I'll wait for you outside. Take as long as you need."

She leaves the room with those words, and Anakin glances from her retreating figure to the comm unit, heart pounding way too fast. He inhales shakily, taking a fortifying breath as he presses the button to connect the transmission. Immediately, a blue-tinted hologram of Padme appears, and Anakin feels a wave of… longing sweep over him. He misses her, even if he learned how to live without her. And this isn't his Padme. He hardly even knows how to talk to her anymore.

"Ani," Padme breathes, her relief cascading into the Force. "I – I'm so glad to hear from you. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka told me a little about what happened. I'm sorry to hear about what the Jedi are doing. It's not right."

His fingers clench, and he's struck speechless, unable to say or do anything except stare at her. "They should do it, probably," he answers finally, looking away. "I am dangerous."

"Obi-Wan doesn't think so," she counters, "And he knows you better than anyone."

His words catch in his throat, shaming burning him from the inside out. He doesn't – he shouldn't – he has no right to talk to her after what he did to her. "I hurt you," he blurts out finally, "In the future."

He can't keep this a secret any longer, and nor does he want to. It never crossed his mind to lie to Padme or keep the truth from her. He was always going to tell her which is why he's avoided calling or talking to her. Not that he would have contacted her anyways, because it wouldn't have been safe. He can't even guarantee that this conversation with her is safe. It could be traced or intercepted.

"Tell me what happened," she requests. "I want to know everything."

He lets out a trembling breath, wishing desperately for Obi-Wan's presence. When Obi-Wan is there, everything has always seemed easier, more manageable. "After I Fell, after I destroyed the Jedi," he begins, forcing himself to recount one of the worst days in his life, "I went to Mustafar on my – on Sidious' orders to kill the Separatist leaders. You came there, and you begged me to leave with you. I didn't want to. I intended to kill Sidious and hand the Empire over to you once I saved you." He hesitates. "Did – did Obi-Wan tell you why I Fell?"

Padme shakes her head. "He told me nothing. He said it was your story to tell."

"You were… pregnant," Anakin tells her, swallowing, "And I was having dreams about you dying in childbirth. Palpatine promised me the chance to save you, and I had to take it. Once the Jedi committed treason… there was nothing to stop me from taking action against them."

"And then what happened?" Padme prompts gently. It's only a matter of time, Anakin knows, before she pushes him away entirely as he no doubt deserves. By coming here, he's probably only guaranteed that his children will never be born. They'll never be born. They'll never exist. And he doesn't know how to feel about that.

"I – you told me that you couldn't follow me down the path I was on, and then, Obi-Wan appeared on the ramp. I don't actually know if you brought him there to kill me, or if… something else happened." That's something he needs to talk to Obi-Wan about. He wants answers. He needs to know if Padme betrayed him. If she did… no love in the galaxy will be able to repair their relationship because he'll never be able to trust her, even knowing that she isn't the one who betrayed him.

The words get stuck in his throat, and he feels like screaming and crying at once. Instead, he pulls the Dark Side in close, wrapping it around him like a shield. There is no conflict here. There is only power. He can feed his pain and fear to the Dark Side, leaving himself feeling numb and empty. It's not really an ideal way of handling depression, but it works. As Vader, it was easier for him to give in to his anger and hatred, but it's harder now that he's in the past. Partially, it's because of Obi-Wan, and partially, it's because the Force itself isn't even half as dark as it became in the future.

Even reaching into the Force a small amount, Anakin can feel the Light Side overwhelming everything. It's hard to stay truly Dark in the face of that. And then, of course, there's how much Obi-Wan cares about him. His true master has accepted him, despite everything, and that means more to him than he can ever say.

"I – I choked you," he continues, forcing his voice to stay steady, "With the Force. Obi-Wan told me to let you go, and I did. He and I fought each other, then, and I… nearly died. When I came to, I was… in a life-support suit, and Sidious told me that I had killed you. Obi-Wan told me that that was a lie. He said that you only died later, after giving birth to our twins, but he doubts that it was a… natural death. He suspects Sidious himself may have been involved."

Padme is quiet for many minutes, and Anakin feels himself getting anxious the longer she's silent. He has no idea what she's thinking or feeling, and the possibilities rum in circles in his head, terrifying him. "I won't deny that I'm displeased to hear that, all of that," Padme finally concedes, "But everything you did didn't happen to me. That will make this both easier and harder, I think. If you could do that once, you could do it again, even if I hope you won't. I don't think you will either, because I would hope that you have learned from your mistakes."

"I did," he answers fervently, voice catching. "I did. I don't trust Sidious, and I mean to destroy him when I get the chance."

"I'm already working on that," Padme tells him wryly, "And I'm doing it politically. We've got it handled."

Despite himself, Anakin can't help but feel a jolt of raw terror at that proclamation. He imagines Obi-Wan going after Sidious, fighting him, dying, and he can't – he can't handle that. He knows that if something happens to Obi-Wan, he'll snap. They're putting each other back together, and if something happens to either one of them, all of that progress will be lost.

"I am disappointed, and upset, that you really think I would bring Obi-Wan to kill you, though," Padme adds, almost as an afterthought. "I would never. I find it hard to imagine Obi-Wan ever wanting to kill you, either."

A bitter, hysterical laugh is ripped from him at that proclamation. "No," he throws back, without even thinking, "He just tried to hurt and break me in as many ways as possible. I – he – he nearly killed me. He left me to burn to death. The second time we fought, he left me partially paralyzed and hardly able to breathe."

She blinks at him in shock. "How can you even stand to be around him after that?"

"We hurt each other," Anakin offers, unsure how to even articulate his feelings. "I'm angry at him; he's angry at me. We don't trust each other much anymore, but we – we still care. We – No one could hurt us as much as we hurt each other, and it is… healing. It is healing for us." He staves of a stab of desperate longing, a craving to bury himself against Obi-Wan's side and not move. He doesn't know anyone here nearly well enough to touch them freely, and it's beginning to wear on him.

"I think," Padme suggests delicately, "That you two need to see a mind healer. You need family counseling. The things that have happened between you won't sort themselves out overnight. And you've been through a lot, Anakin. It's okay to not be alright. I think we will need a relationship counselor, too. There's… too much to be sorted out now. I don't think we can do it without help, and I don't intend on annulling our marriage. What you did in your past, you won't do that again, I know, but it… will not be easy."

He already knew that, of course, but the fact that she isn't simply kicking him out and demanding a divorce relieves him immensely. But… a mind healer? Is she serious? There's no way a mind healer will do him any good. He's too fundamentally broken and damaged for that. Maybe Obi-Wan is too. They can only help each other. He doesn't want to talk about his life with some random stranger. He'll be just fine.

"I will… think about," he settles on, because it's not an agreement, even if it's not a disagreement either.

"You better," Padme replies firmly.

They say their goodbyes after that, and when they hang up, Anakin is left feeling much lighter than he has been ever since he came to Tatooine. With one of his worries assuaged, he can better focus on the upcoming campaign, and given how extensive it will be, it will require every bit of focus and creativity which he can muster.

It's been a little over four weeks since his arrival when Jabba is killed. The invasion of the palace wasn't as hard as he had expected, maybe, in part, because none of the mercenaries or guards inside are a match for a Sith Lord such as himself. Or is that ex-Sith Lord? Either way, his skills are far superior to theirs. And with Sabe and a few other freedom fighters at his back, they kill Jabba and his henchmen, freeing all the slaves within the palace.

Anakin can't hide his euphoria in the wake of the completed mission. This has been his childhood dream, and while it's not completed yet, this is a good start, a very good start. The former slaves are extremely grateful to him, and while some of them choose to leave the planet, requesting passage to worlds where they'll actually be safe, some have opted to stay on Tatooine. This is the only planet they've ever known, and they aren't ready to leave entirely and start a new life elsewhere.

There's plenty for them to do here, though, and with Anakin ruling as the Daimyo, albeit under the alias of Vader, though there are many who know him as Skywalker, too, it is far easier to crush out every last trace of slavery.

He knows it'll only be a matter of time before word spreads throughout the Republic and the Jedi learn of his activities, but he's ready. He's more than ready for the day when the Jedi show up. When they come, he'll be ready. He won't run from the people who need him, the people who needed the Republic and the Jedi, the people who suffered when they never came. It wasn't the Jedi who freed them; it was the Sith. It was Darth Vader.

Anakin had chosen the design of his mask for a reason. In one lifetime, it inspired fear among the innocents. In this lifetime, he wishes for it to inspire hope. He doesn't know how to redeem himself or make up for all the horrible things which he's done except through dedicating himself to helping those in need, helping the slaves who he neglected the first time.

Tatooine is a start, and it's successful. All over the planet, the freed slaves are rising up against their masters to reclaim their freedom. Once the towers that linked the network of slave chips were destroyed, the chips were essentially rendered invalid. They're still bombs, of course, but removing them became much easier. Anakin is almost drunk on the feelings of relief and hope that are finally breaking through the fog of misery and grief that have been engraved into Tatooine. He never thought that his home planet could bring anything but horrible memories.

And perhaps he was wrong.

Perhaps he can rebuild Tatooine and make it into a better place, into a place where slavery is gone, and where sentients of all species are equals.

If he can do that under the mask of Darth Vader, if he can redeem his name, redeem his image, redeem himself, then so much the better.

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