Hey guys! Sorry for a very delayed update but a long one! I just started a new job this month so I haven't had much time to relax and write. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and just a warning it gets angtsy and some things will be done that you should never do to your loved one but this relationship I'm writing is still trying to recover from toxicity, so yea just letting yall know! Enjoy! And I apologise for any typos, I'm still using my phone to write this chapters.

Chapter 27: Emails and Anxiety

Mills Mansion

The world has come crashing down on the blonde soldier, Emma Swan, multiple times. As a marine, she was taught on paper and on the field what to do in the most dangerous and disastrous situations. So she is very familiar with tragedies and sudden inconveniences showing up and be able to solve them quickly so she can carry on with the mission. The military has taught her a lot since she was a young pre-teen, taught her how to be on the battlefield but also her morals and manners on the outside. However, it never taught her how to deal with the bomb, not so literally, that had just been dropped on top of the kitchen island by Regina.

The alien device, from Emma's perspective, said that the mayor was pregnant.

Regina Mills was pregnant.

For the second time, obviously, so there's no need to act too shocked or unsure about such a result. Right?

The answer should be, 'right', but for Emma Swan the answer was to start panicking. "Is this true? You are really pregnant?" she asked.

Regina had her arms crossed, pressing over her chest. Her cheeks were slightly red from how furious this argument was getting her and she was digging her nails into her biceps, trying to stop herself from shaking. The blonde wasn't the only person panicking about this. "Of course it's true, who do you take me for?" she clicked her tongue, annoyed.

"N-No, I didn't mean..." Emma couldn't even gather enough words to express herself because her brain was still processing what she was looking at, the pregnancy test.

The difference between these two women's panics' was that one never saw a pregnancy test in front of her before and didn't even know if she even wanted another child, while the other woman was panicking because she thought she was going to end up a single mother of two.

"So?" Regina was getting impatient and Emma seemed to be zoning out about the test.

Completely lost in her own head.

"What's your decision?" She asked again.

But Emma wasn't even reacting, she was going through an overload of overthinking thoughts that stopped her brain from paying attention to anything else.

However, Regina wasn't going to put up with it, she needed an answer. So she slammed her palm against the kitchen island surface, which startled Emma and fierce brown eyes met scared green ones. "I need an answer."

"What do you mean? An answer?" Emma was confused because no matter how this freaked her out, leaving wasn't even an option in her head. Leaving this situation was definitely the first thing she thought about and it took everything in her to not bolt out of the front door, but leaving Regina and Henry wasn't an option in her head.

Regina sighed out and pinched the bridge of her nose, she was getting very close to her very limit. "Are you staying or leaving me, miss Swan? I need to know now, I refuse to drag this out longer than it has to be."

"W-What? Why are you talking about leaving? I'm not leaving." Emma was actually feeling a bit offended that the mayor put that option even on the table.

And Regina sighed out now in relief. Okay, Emma was staying, everything would be fine, she just needed to get over whatever happened on that night between her and Lily or even other situations that she wasn't aware of. That's why she really wanted to see that phone and she still wants to...but she couldn't ask for that again, it was out of line. "Okay...good. I'll be able to get over whatever is going on between you and Lily as long as you promise me nobody will find out. I can't have the town-people think my love life is so scandalous. It will make me look ridiculous."

...Yes, they are going to fight again.

Because Emma isn't a cheater and she isn't going to be talked to or treated like she is one. She is not perfect, she fucks up a lot relationship wise, but that's just one thing she will never do, because it goes against her morals and the people who gave her strongest morals and beliefs were David and Ingrid, so she would never let them down. "You know what, Regina? That attitude of know-it-all will be your downfall some day, like honestly," Emma just raised her palms and moved her hands in a way that's basically saying 'fuck it'. She put her phone away in her jogger's pocket and just decided to walk to the garden sliding doors to have a cigarette. This conversation was just too much and she needed a break from it.

But if Emma thought Regina would just let her go take a break, she was dead wrong. Because shortly after the soldier lightened up her cigarette, the sound of clicking heels on the wooden floor could be heard, and they sounded furious. So as soon as the blonde blew out of the smoke from the first drag of her cigarette, Regina slid the doors open again in a quick motion. "We are not done yet, Miss Swan. You can't just walk away from this discussion!"

"This isn't a discussion, this is a fight we are having! And I need a fucking break! I'll get back to it in a minute!" Emma raised her voice to match the brunette's and that seemed to do the job, because Regina just stood on her spot glaring at her. "Thank you," she swallowed and clenched her jaw while turning her back towards the mayor again and carried on smoking. She really needed a break from all the shouting and accusations, it was getting out of hand and she knew she was about to snap real badly if she didn't get this break.

And Regina could see Emma was on the verge of losing it all. That's why she decided to respect the break. The mayor is aware that sometimes she pushes some buttons way too far and Kaitlyn warned her about her toxic behaviour and to just listen out to Emma first before assuming anything, which she obviously failed. So, she decided to stand there, arms crossed in front of her chest in a defensive manner and a deep frown, trying her best to be patient and wait.

Emma could tell by the shuffle of heels that Regina didn't move from her spot and was probably now staring daggers at her back, but that was alright. She was going to finish her cigarette first and then tackle this situation again, give it another shot. Maybe this time they could talk it out properly.

After a little less than five minutes, Emma took a deep breath and turned around to face her girlfriend, who stood rigid and angry. "Look..." the way brown eyes were staring at her was making her feel a bit sad but also exhausted, Regina wasn't going to believe words, so she had to do some actions to prove her there was no cheating. "You can have my phone," she said while removing her phone from the jeans pocket and hand it out. She decided why the heck not? If that's what would make Regina believe her, then she could go ahead. She just hoped she doesn't check her emails. She probably wouldn't. Nobody uses email nowadays, only businesses, right?

"No, I don't want to." Regina's voice sounded almost like a grumpy child when she said that. She knew this was wrong but part of her really wanted to go through that phone but another part of her knew she shouldn't.

Emma rolled her eyes, already a bit too familiar with that grumpy tone. "Come here," she said, gesturing with her hand for Regina to come closer, "come on, let's go over there." She kept her hand stretched out that was eventually held by the other woman. Emma walked them to the corner of the garden where she had built a cute wooden porch. It was a project that kept her busy for a couple of months, working between Henry's naps. She was pretty proud of it and Regina loved it. "Sit here," she said after she sat down on one of the chairs and patted her thighs. She figured giving the other woman a bit of physical touch would help her calm down and believe her. "Come on."

Regina eyed Emma's lap rather doubtfully, as if sitting on her lap would make everything go away, but part of her really missed simple cuddles with her lover, so she swallowed her pride and sat down on Emma's lap, very on the edge of her thighs and with a perfect posture, she'd be ready to bolt out any second.

Emma actually smiled a little bit once Regina sat on her lap. This physical touch made her realise that Regina was right. They haven't been very touchy lately. She missed this. "Okay, let's look together now. Don't be so stand offish, I want you to look, come on." Emma leaned a bit forward so she could be closer to the mayor and be able to show her phone. She had unblocked it and opened first her social media and the messages on it. Regina wasn't reacting and Emma couldn't see her face but she was pretty sure the brunette was glancing at it because she wasn't talking. "Most of my texts are just silly stuff from the guys. To be honest and you know me, I barely use my phone to talk with other people, it's mostly for memes," she let out a low chuckle hoping that would ease up the mood, but it wasn't working yet. "Go on, see it for yourself," she handed the phone again and this time the other woman actually took it.

Regina was trying not to look too obvious about how desperate she was to see that phone. There was a good reason for this. During her marriage, she finally found everything through her husband's phone and, on the brink of divorce, she decided to forgive him due to the per pressure from her mother. Apparently, Daniel being a successful lawyer made him quite a catch that she shouldn't let go. At least that's what her mother said. So she foolishly took him back, but they made a deal he wouldn't have any social media, which back in the day was basically just Facebook and she had the right to go through his phone anytime she wanted. So they spent another two years like that and Regina thought her husband had really changed till she got into his email account by accidentally pressing an email notification on his phone that led her right to where he was actually cheating. This man was sexting with emails and it was so surreal and disgusting for Regina that she almost didn't believe it and thought it was all a joke. – So, since then, she has had major trust issues with partners because she knew it wasn't right to go through their phone, but she also knew you could hide so many things in such a small electronic device. But she wasn't going to be fooled twice, she was going to check Emma's email.

Emma was leaning back on the chair now and bouncing her leg slightly because of anxiety, that didn't last long though, because Regina pressed her palm on the side of her thigh as a way to tell her to stop. So she did and decided to nip at the skin around her thumbnail. She was getting nervous at what Regina could find, which would be absolutely nothing, but you know when a cop starts driving behind you for a long time and you start questioning if you stole your own car? Well that's basically what Emma was feeling right now. She knew she wasn't guilty, but what if she forgot she was? However, she noticed that Regina's posture started to slowly relax and lean a bit backwards and Emma took that chance to put her free hand on the brunette's lower back in a comforting way. Regina didn't even flinch, she allowed that to happen and the soldier thought she had it almost in the bag till...

"What is this?" Regina asked while turning around the best she could to show the other woman the very email she was so scared to show Regina. "Emma... What does this mean?" Regina's voice slightly broke.

Emma stared at the phone and bit down on the inside of her cheek as she swallowed hard. She had no words, really, because all that prep talk with August just flew right out of her brain after this argument. She couldn't remember what was the best way to approach this topic and now Regina was becoming defensive again.

"I can't believe you," Regina quickly stood up from the blonde's lap and started pacing around the garden. The soldier is the one who has panic attacks, but the mayor feels like she is about to have a bad one right now. Her heartbeat was picking up and she couldn't breathe properly.

"Regina wait-" Shit Emma thought as she watched her girlfriend pacing around the garden and clutching the phone against her chest. "Listen, before you get mad again, I was going to tell you. I just got the offer this morning."

"And you accepted it?" Regina stopped her pacing to stare at green guilty eyes and Emma simply stayed on her chair while nodding. "You accepted it without consulting me first?!" Regina said, her voice so high this time that she knew she had to take it inside, despite the panicking, she knew she was going into a zone now where she couldn't hold anything back and the neighbours don't have to know what's going on.

Emma frowned at what the mayor said, she didn't like it the way it was worded. "It's my job! My life too! I don't have to have you decide everything for me!" Emma was shouting again too, because Regina was getting erratic. She followed her into the house, and got hit on the face by a pillow. Oh uh, Regina was on throwing stuff rage mode. "What the hell?!" Emma complained as she kept being hit by pillows from the couch. How many goddamn pillows did they own?

"I can't believe you, miss Swan! You are so fucking inconsiderate!" Regina was raging and it was easy to notice that not only by the countless pillows she kept throwing, but also at the fact she cursed, Regina never cursed.

"Stop it! I was going to tell you today! This is a good opportunity!" Emma tried to be heard between the smacks of the soft cushion against her figure.

"Good opportunity?!" Regina almost shrieked and lost it all by grabbing a glass that still had some juice in it and threw it towards Emma's direction but, slightly off couple inches resulting the glass to smash against the wall and break in multiple pieces. She hasn't been this mad since almost ten years ago, in her first marriage.

"Regina!" Emma flinched, thinking the glass was going to hit her but hit the wall instead. She looked over her shoulder to spot the mess left behind. Okay, this was new. This had never happened before so maybe the mayor really lost it and it was now the thought of Regina being actually pregnant that made Emma realise that stress wasn't good for the baby. "Listen, you need to calm down, this is not good for you. You are being crazy and this is insa-" Emma's words were cut short because now she was looking at a very distraught woman.

Regina's eyes were so full of tears that they just kept falling down like a waterfall over her high cheeks. She seemed like she was panting, the panic attack was creeping up on her faster than before. She remembered having one years ago because of Daniel and it's like everyone says, it feels like you are having a heart attack. But she couldn't even focus on that one because Emma was the one being crazy, not her. "Good opportunity?!" She repeated, raising her voice again. "Your life isn't just about you anymore like it was for years before! How is this any good for Henry, huh?! You have a son, Swan! WE have a son! And you have-" Regina choked on her last words, a loud sob came out from the depths of her throat that she had been trying to hold back for so long. She pressed a shaking hand against her mouth and another on her hip, steading herself. She couldn't stop crying and sobbing, she felt like she was going to faint from hyperventilating so much.

"Regina," Emma almost breathed out her girlfriend's name. She couldn't believe she was seeing the brunette in such a state, not even when Henry got ill and Emma bolted out of the hospital. So this was bad, very bad. "Listen to me, this is good because-" Before Emma could finish, Regina let out another loud sob and just shook her hand at her while dropping herself over the couch, pressing both hands against her face. Clearly the mayor was too distressed. "Regina, please! Listen to me, please," Emma almost begged, not wanting to be shut out now. She felt like the other woman would understand her if she heard her out first and when she didn't move from the couch or say anything, Emma decided to continue. "Okay, I understand this is a bit of a shock since we sent the paperwork but they never finalised it, and this morning I was with August and went to the base to see some old friends and that's when I was offered the opportunity to go overseas and teach other marines. You know how much I love being a marine..." Emma almost whispered her last words because watching the usual regal posture of the mayor to someone so broken and so shaky was a really hard sight to bear and to think she caused most of this...

"It's a dangerous profession and you won't be here, Henry won't see his mother," Regina managed to say with a throaty voice, but she kept her hand down and covered it with her palms.

"But it won't be dangerous at all!" The blonde tried to reassure her. "It's a training camp, yea I know I will be away, but it's a safe training camp in Iraq and it'll be basically like training here," Emma explained but Regina just sighed out loudly and looked up at the ceiling with teary eyes. "I'm only going to be gone for two months, it'll pass in a blink of an eye, time overseas always goes by fast."

"Yea, for you," Regina scoffed and looked away while biting her trembling lower lip. Tears were still falling down, her chest tightened and moving at a fast pace. She was still trying to get her oxygen levels at the normal rate.

Emma frowned slightly at that comment but she figured the mayor was probably right, she didn't know how it felt like to be on the other side, but maybe this is what August complained so many times about his wife. 'Maybe it's not as easy for them as I think it should be' Emma thought to herself. "Okay, I understand but I will also get good pay for this. I haven't actually been working since I lost my leg and I thought I had lost it all and I'd never feel fulfilled again. So when this opportunity fell on my lap, I had to take it, Regina. Please, you have to understand that, you always knew I wouldn't want to do anything else but serve my country."

Regina clenched her jaw while listening to the blonde soldier explaining herself. The first time they ever met at that restaurant, Emma had told her she loved serving her country and didn't see herself doing anything else. She knew that but at the same time she had hoped that maybe... "...then serve me." She mumbled, still refusing to look at the other woman.

"What?"

The mayor cleared her throat to try to stop it from being so shaky and broken. "Serve me, serve Henry, we belong to this country, do we not? You want to protect this country and its people, right? So protect us, serve us." She finally gained the courage to look at the green eyes.

Emma was actually quite shocked at such reply and it left her a bit speechless too for a few seconds. "T-this is me serving you guys. I want to be able to provide for this family. I don't want us to just depend on you. I want you to be proud of the partner you have and Henry be proud of having a brave mother."

"Don't you think we are already proud?"

"Wha-what? No, I mean-"

"I'm proud, very proud, actually. So why can't that be enough?" Regina sniffed and roughly wiped the tears on the edge of her sleeve, her makeup was definitely ruined now.

"Of course it's enough!" Emma this time took a couple steps forward to sit on the couch next to the brunette and try to hold her hand, but Regina's body language clearly told her no. "It's just-"

"No, I've told you before. It's not just about you, anymore," Regina leaned back on the couch, trying to get away from being so close to the person who was hurting her badly right now. "You have Henry now... You have me...you could find something to do here...why can't that be enough?" she stared at green eyes hoping that the soldier would just agree with her, but that was wishful thinking. So she harshly wiped her tears again with shaky hands and cleared her throat with shaky breaths. "I just wish for once, I would be enough," this should've been a more inside-voice type moment, but the mayor's brain was scattered, she was emotionally exhausted. So that supposed thought came out in a soft, weak whisper while she looked down at the floor and felt the panic wanting to take over again.

Emma was starting to feel incredibly guilty about this now. She had never seen Regina in such conditions before and the realization that this was basically her fault was starting to dawn on her. "Regina..." Emma started but she honestly didn't know what else to say. It wasn't like her family wasn't enough, this was mostly about her true self, she wanted to feel fulfilled and that job part was missing and only the military gave her this fulfilment. Before the soldier could present her case again, she heard Regina's slip of the tongue that made her own heart break a little bit. This was a lot more than just a couple having a bad argument. These were some past issues and present issues bottled up for months. The only way Emma knew how to fix it was just hold her girlfriend, so she did.

Regina didn't fight any of it, she allowed herself to be taken in an embrace by strong tattooed arms and she allowed herself to just cry her eyes out against Emma's chest. She cried and sobbed and even hit her clenched fists slightly against the soldier's chest bone a few times. She wasn't hurting her, it was just to show her frustration towards the blonde woman. – And Emma took it all, she caressed the mayor's back and kissed the top of her head and even started to rock her gently from side to side because she always felt like that helped to calm her down while she was having her anxiety attacks. She didn't mind the slight smacks, she actually wished they were stronger because she felt like she deserved it after causing so much pain to Regina. "I'm so sorry, Regina. Truly, I am very sorry but...I'm doing this anyway, please don't stop me."

"I won't," Regina managed to say through violent sobs. Despite how she felt about this, she wasn't going to stop Emma from doing what she loved. It was her career, it wasn't fair for her to tell her to drop everything, especially after all the pain she went through for this country.

Emma teared up a little bit and hugged Regina tighter, staying like that for a few minutes. Despite it all, they were going to be okay. She would do her mission and come back and everything would be fine, and once she was back, they could prepare for the new addition to the family...'shit, a baby' okay, she might need extra therapy to prepare herself for this, but she wouldn't walk out on this family, that's for sure. So, with that in mind, Emma slid one of her hands down over Regina's back all the way to her hips and then awkwardly moved her hand to the brunette's belly. Gently brushing her thumb over it. The last thing they needed right now was if Regina thought Emma didn't want this baby.

After a few minutes of crying, Regina was finally calming down and that's when she felt the soldier's unsure hand over her stomach and that gave her a huge relief in her heart rate. The thought of Emma not wanting this baby was in her mind because there were numerous times that the blonde woman commented that Henry was enough because he was already a handful, so one more would be too much. That's why Regina had actually kept quiet about not having her period for the second month in a row now. She delayed it as much as she could and now was the moment for her to face the music and, thankfully, it was a serene melody. She embraced Emma's hand with her own and breathed more calmly, still with her head rested against her chest.

"Come here," Emma whispered as she moved her hand to gather the mayor's tan legs together and move them over her lap. Regina took the hint and cuddled herself into Emma's side and wrapped her arms around her neck. "We will be alright, I'm not going to leave you or Henry or...our new child," those last words were said more to remind herself that they were definitely going to have another baby.

Regina managed to show a small smile and raise her head to leave a soft kiss on the blonde's chin, who eventually moved her head so they could share a gentle yet very meaningful kiss on the lips. They were finally going to be alright.