A/N: Thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts!
Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest belong to me. All mistakes are mine.
Chapter 5 - Hunger
October 28 - Present Day: Forks, Washington
With an upright jolt, I strain my arms toward the room's darkest corner, reaching for him, stretching my torso to where I see his eyes aglow for me and-
-and daylight floods all four corners of the room so abruptly that I'm blinded by the sudden onslaught. I lift a hand to my forehead and use it to make a visor, narrowing my gaze against the painful glare, searching desperately for him. My eyes bulge again when I see that the walls meeting at the corner of the room aren't the dark wood clapboards that were just there, the ones my mind expects to see. Instead, they're smooth, eggshell-painted drywall.
And absolutely no one is standing there.
"No!" I cry out.
Chest heaving, I recline against the cushioned living-room couch – also not where I expected to find myself. Fisting my hair, I force my mind to focus, to differentiate between dream and reality.
"What the fuck?" I breathe.
As with the previous dream, I've woken with a racing heart, a thrumming pulse, and an image of crimson eyes burning behind my lids. For a few moments, the memory of those eyes watching me from a shrouded corner overpowers the TV droning in the background, the rain pelting the windows, and the vibrating under me until I realize what the vibration is.
Shaking off my stupor, I dig through the cushions until my hand wraps around the buzzing cell phone, which I briskly put to my ear.
"Yeah?"
"Bella?"
I recognize the voice almost as well as I'd recognize Edward's. She's been my best friend for…ages.
"Yeah, what's up, Alice?"
"You sound…tired," she points out as if my hoarse, exhausted voice makes no sense. Which, I suppose, at this time of day, it doesn't.
"I am." Sighing, I sit up against the backrest and rake a hand through my hair. "I've been having the strangest dreams since last night."
She doesn't reply right away. "Yeah. Yeah, Edward called and…" she sighs, then murmurs so quietly that the words almost, almost get lost beneath her breath. "I guess it's that time of year."
"What does that mean?" I frown, absently watching the image on the TV screen. Coincidentally, it's that 80's movie where the female protagonist keeps having nightmares.
"Oh!" she exclaims as if she really didn't mean for me to hear. "I forget that…it just means that it's almost Halloween, and there are strange images all around, just waiting to fill our minds, right? You never know what might set us off on…nightmares."
I jerk back my head, not completely following that train of thought but too tired to bother trying to decipher trivialities. A huge yawn escapes me.
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess. So Edward called you? I guess I really worried him last night and this morning."
"Can't help worrying, can he?" Alice replies. "Always wondering if this 'll be the time…"
"If this 'll be the time?" I prompt when she trails off.
"If this 'll be the time that you guys run out of Halloween candy for the trick-or-treaters," she finishes in a rush. "Bella, it might take me a little bit, but I'm on my way."
"What?" I snort. "Why?" Meanwhile, on the screen, Nancy begins to wonder if perhaps…her family is keeping secrets about Freddie Krueger. "What's going on?"
"I told you. Edward called and said you're not feeling well and asked if I could keep an eye on-"
"Edward is not only exaggerating," I say, pursing my lips, "but he's being a bit of a presumptuous ass. I said I was going to give you a call to see if you wanted to hang out with me. Then I decided to just take a day for myself. He didn't need to call you on my behalf. Good Lord, I had a hard night. It doesn't mean I need to be babysat."
Her ensuing moment of silence is that of the unconvinced sort. While she chooses her words, I flip through the TV channels.
"Meanwhile, another registered offender has gone missing in Seattle…"
Shuddering at the state of the world, I continue flipping channels.
"Bella, when was your last…dream?"
"Just a short while ago," I admit with a shrug she can't see, "but so what? I probably ate something last night that messed with my stomach."
Alice chuckles heartily. Then she clears her throat. "Sure you don't want my company?"
"No offense, babe, but I kinda just want to be alone today. I've been napping, catching up on sleep, watching TV, and now I'm gonna brush my teeth-"
"You're going to brush your teeth?"
"Yeah, I know it's late, but as I said, I've been napping. I'm gonna order some breakfast, too, because our fridge is bare."
"I can imagine," she mutters. "Wait. Did you say you're going to order breakfast?" she asks, sounding horrified. "From a delivery person?"
"That's…usually how it's done, no?" I pull a face at her stupidity of the day. "And I know it's raining, but don't worry; I plan on tipping well."
"Bella, hold on…" She's silent for a few heartbeats. "Yeah, okay. Okay, it should work out okay."
"You are fucking weird today," I verbalize, laughing.
"Whatever. Are you sure you don't need me to come over?"
"Like I said," I smile to myself, "it's a 'Me-time' day. Oh!" I exclaim, remembering the other missed call that popped up on my cell phone. "I'm going to call Nessie back too. She called while I was sleeping."
"Ness called? Yeah, I guess…what with Halloween approaching…"
"Are you feeling okay today, Alice?"
"Yeah," she says. "Yeah, I'm okay. Bella, if you need me, call me right away. I'll be there in a flash."
"Thank you, babe," I say genuinely despite the frustration her unnecessary concern is beginning to cause me. "But honestly-"
"It's a 'You' day. I get it," she says softly. "We love you. That's why we worry. Don't forget that, okay?"
My brow furrows at her strange inflection. But she's just peculiar all around this morning.
"'Course I won't forget that. Why would I?"
"You wouldn't. Go call Ness back. Are she and Jake still coming up for Halloween?"
My frown deepens. "They were coming up for Halloween? I didn't know that."
There's a beat of silence. "I guess you can confirm with her."
After we end that strange call, I make my way to the bathroom. I catch sight of myself in the mirror and draw in a deep breath, exhaling it through narrowed lips. Actually, despite the harried few hours, I don't really look too much worse for the wear. There are no dark circles under my eyes, no knotted clumps in my hair. Unlike what I feel, I appear well-rested. Regardless of my assurances to Alice – and to Edward earlier – the dreams do feel as if they're taking a lot out of me, mentally if not physically. They're…vivid. Colors and scents and sensations I awake from completely expecting to find myself immersed in my mind's inventions and gazing into those crimson eyes.
"Maybe I'm watching too much TV," I murmur to my reflection; too many scary movies; too much dark news about murders, missing persons…betrayals. "And feeding an already overactive-"
My reflection morphs into another image – that of a blond-haired, blue-eyed young woman wearing a white bonnet…and glaring back at me hatefully.
A sharp gasp escapes me.
When I blink, she's gone.
"Holy fuck," I breathe, gripping my dark hair. "Holy fucking fuck. Definitely an overactive imagination today."
After rummaging with increasing frustration through every bathroom cabinet, I finally locate a new tube of toothpaste, seemingly forgotten all the way in the back of the bottom cabinet and behind a container of rat poison whose presence makes me shudder.
However, I fail to come up with a toothbrush and end up brushing my teeth with my finger. As I watch the toothpaste foam around my teeth, I wonder what the hell Edward used to brush his teeth this morning. They looked as white and his breath tasted as fresh as ever. When I spit the toothpaste out, I rinse my mouth thoroughly. Having been lost and forgotten in the back of the cabinet, that tube of toothpaste must've been past its prime. It sure tasted it.
"We seriously need to make a trip to the market," I mutter to myself as I take a seat on the couch again. After placing a breakfast order from the corner bagel shop, I place a Facetime call to Nessie.
"Hello?" she answers, her forehead wrinkled, sounding somewhat anxious.
"Ness? Hey, girl, how's NYC?"
Ness stares at the phone screen. She's a pretty woman in her mid-twenties, who works in…Finance, I think? She's in an office, the buzz all around her audible through the phone. We've been friends for a while, too, though not as long as Alice and me. I watch as Ness stands and walks to a door, shutting it. The background buzz ceases.
"Hey…girl," Nessie replies, her lips pursed. "New York City is fine. Thanks." She flips the screen around and offers me a view of the sun and skyscrapers, then quickly flips the screen back to her. "How's Forks?"
"You know Forks," I grin. "Dark and damp. It doesn't change much."
"Yeah. Yeah, I remember. But you and D-" – she cuts herself off, coughing – "you and dear old Edward love it. How are you feeling…Bella?"
"Not too bad. I had a bit of a rough night with some crazy dreams, which is why I was sleeping and missed your call this morning."
"You were sleeping, huh?"
"Yeah. I figured I'd take the day off and recharge."
Ness nods. "How is Edward doing?"
"He's good. At work right now. How's Jake?"
Here Nessie's anxious features relax a bit. I suppose that's what a career in Finance does; keep one looking constantly on edge.
"He's good…Bella. It's our one-year anniversary next month." Her face lights up.
"That's right! Congrats, girl! Hey, if you're lucky, Jake 'll remain as eager a lover as Edward is, even past that one-year anniversary mark! I swear, we start out every morning with sex, no matter what. You should've seen us this morning," I chuckle impishly. "He just spread me across the kitchen table and-"
"Oh, my God." Ness looks horrified all of a sudden.
"What? What is it?" I ask, sobering up.
She shakes her head. "I just…I forgot I've got a meeting right now, and I've got to run. Look…" she sighs, and the horror now morphs into something wistful, akin to sadness. "I'll see you in a few days, okay?"
"Oh, that's right. You're coming up for Halloween," I recall with a grin.
"Yeah." She offers me a tender smile. "I am. I come up for Halloween every year, Bella. Every year."
"Good. Can't wait to see you, girl."
"Yeah, can't wait to see you either…girl. Take care of yourself, okay? And say hi to Edward from me and Jake."
"Will do. See you soon!"
Just as I end the call, the doorbell rings.
"Good timing," I murmur to myself as I pull out a good tip from my wallet, then head for the door. With every step closer, my stomach rumbles harder and growls so loudly that I hope the person on the other side of the door doesn't hear it. They're embarrassing, but I'm literally…starving now.
I pull open the door to some college-aged kid who looks harried and is soaked through. My mouth instantly waters. He grins and holds up a paper bag to me.
"Don't worry, ma'am, I kept your order dry."
For a moment, I'm struck by pangs of hunger so violent they threaten to fold me over. I wrap an arm around my midsection, my heart racing. Saliva pools to my mouth.
"Ma'am?" the boy repeats. He gives the bag a bit of a shake as if I need a reminder that my food is here, right in front of me. Then he notes the way I hold my stomach. "Ma'am, are you okay?"
He's breathing somewhat heavily, most likely from all the running around required by his occupation. It's made him sweat despite the cool day. A sheen of perspiration glistens atop his forehead. I also see his agitation in the way his chest heaves so hard I can almost hear his heartbeat underneath…the thrumming of his pulse as his blood pumps in his veins. I move in closer to retrieve my meal…closer…swallowing, savoring the moment when my appetite will be sated.
Meanwhile, the boy's eyes widen. A gleam of excitement seems to shroud his gaze so that I can-
"I've got it, thanks."
Edward is suddenly behind the boy.
He pats the kid's shoulder and quickly retrieves my bag from the boy's hand, almost snatching it. At the same time, he hands the boy a rolled-up bill.
"Oh!" the boy says, looking momentarily dazed as if he's forgotten what a tip is. Then seems to shake off the second of confusion, grinning broadly when he notes the number on the bill. "Oh! Oh, shit! Thanks, dude!"
"No problem, kid." Edward draws in a deep breath. "Have a...safe day," he snorts. With my breakfast in hand, he walks toward me.
I back up into the house while Edward shuts the door on the boy's still happily-shocked face. Edward leans against the door and exhales. Then he meets my gaze and smiles.
"Hey, babe." I smile in return and balance on my tiptoes so that I can plant a kiss on his soft lips. At the same time, I take my breakfast bag from him. "Thanks!" Then, turning, I make my way to the kitchen while Edward's even calm, even footsteps resound behind me.
"What are you doing home?"
"Figured I'd come home for lunch and see how you're doing."
I roll my eyes. "I'm doing fine. I ordered food because our fridge and cupboards are bare. Edward," I say, peeking over my shoulder, "when the hell was the last time we went shopping for food and household necessities?"
"I guess it's been a while. Usually, we prefer to…eat out," he smirks.
"Mm." I take a seat at the kitchen table. "And why do we have rat poison under the bathroom sink?"
He pulls out the chair next to me and eases into it. "For the rats. In the basement."
"Oh, my God. Do we have rats in the basement? Are you serious?"
"Bella, we live in a cold, rainy town in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, there are rats around. They figure it's a good place to hide. Just stay out of the basement until I can take care of them."
"You don't have to tell me twice." I shudder as I begin pulling out my food – eggs, bacon, an everything bagel, and a carton of orange juice. All the while, Edward watches me.
"Quite the meal you've got there."
"I'm famished!"
He's staring so intently that before I take a bite, I hold my sandwich out to him. "You want to split it, babe?"
He shakes his head. Then he sits back, wrinkling his nose at my sandwich. "No, thanks. I'm good. Are you sure you want to try that?"
I roll my eyes. "It's an artery clogger, I know, but it's not like I eat this way often. Besides, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"
He offers me a slow nod. "That's what they say, love."
I guide the sandwich to my mouth.
"Any more dreams, Bella?" he asks before I take my bite.
I pause, the sandwich balanced in midair.
"Yes," I sigh, "but it wasn't too bad, so don't go getting all worried. I know you called Alice," I say, making my annoyance plain.
"You said you were-"
"I said I was going to call her," I clarify. "That didn't mean I needed you to call her. I run my own life, thank you very much."
He holds my gaze. "You're right. I apologize."
I kiss him hard and fast. "It's okay. I just hope you learned your lesson."
"We'll see. Now," he expels a heavy breath, "please tell me about this latest…dream."
I look at my sandwich longingly but then...I notice that the bagel looks hard. And dry. The eggs are runny. And slimy. And Jesus, the bacon does stink. Pulling a face, I set down the unappetizing concoction, already wondering what I should order for lunch. Maybe a steak. Rare.
Edward looks at the sandwich I just set down, then back at me.
"Fine. Well, I must've dozed on the couch for a bit."
"Okay," he prompts when I pause.
"I dreamed I was…a teenage girl in Puritan times again. I…we…a few girls and me were in the forest. We were…bullshitting about what my imagination imagined girls of those times bullshitted about."
He snorts, smiling now. "Which was?"
"Which was more or less what teenaged girls bullshit about nowadays – our parents, our crushes."
He quirks a brow. "Crushes?"
"I get the sense that…" – my gaze pans over his shoulder – "one of the girls, she was supposed to be my best friend, but there was some…jealousy going on there, some sort of competitiveness, and..."
"And?" he prompts again.
"And," I sigh, "and to make some sort of point, she did something. Then I did something…"
"What did you do?" Edward asks, skipping over the girl's actions, uninterested.
I swallow thickly, then I grin and meet Edward's gaze. "I explored my body for the first time."
He holds my gaze, his eyes changing, darkening. "You mean you masturbated, naughty girl."
I throw my head back and laugh before meeting his eyes again. He's still smiling.
"Yeah. Yeah, in my Puritan-era dream, I masturbated in my bed, discovering all those places a girl from those times wasn't supposed to know existed. Yet, I stimulated the hell out of myself to the point of completion. And all the while…"
He moves in closer and holds me locked in his eyes, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "All the while, what?"
"All the while, I imagined someone watching me."
He swallows, licks his lips, and reaches out, sliding a hand around my nape. "Who was watching you, my sweet Isabella?"
"I…I don't know. But his eyes…"
"Bella…" Edward breathes, his gaze boring into mine, "what about his eyes?"
"I…I don't know."
An eternal moment transpires. Then, with a deep breath, Edward pulls back. For a second, the smile he offers me holds such a note of wistfulness – similar to that in Nessie's gaze earlier – that my chest tightens.
"Sounds like your dream took an erotic turn," he grins, wiping any note of sadness from his features and making me doubt it was ever there.
"For a moment, yeah," I chuckle. "Until I woke up."
He nods languidly. "Well, no one knows better than I do what a sight it is to watch you pleasure yourself. The only thing better than watching you touch yourself is when I touch you."
"I won't deny that, Edward."
In the next moment, I'm straddling him. He wraps an arm around my waist, and I have no idea whether he pulled me or whether I initiated it. With his other hand, he pulls down his zipper, freeing himself. I feel him…his heat through the thin material of my sleep shorts.
"What about your sandwich?" he smirks, teasing me, holding me hovered. "I thought you were famished," he hisses through clenched teeth, his angular jaw squared, his gaze almost…predatory.
"I am," I breathe, chest heaving. "I am. Please," I crush my mouth to his. "Please…"
He pushes aside my sleep shorts. "Don't ever forget that I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I would kill for you, Isabella Swan."
"I'll never forget that, Edward," I vow, then throw back my head as I sink around him. "Ohh…that…I'll never forget."
A/N: Thoughts?
Facebook: Stories by PattyRose
Twitter: PattyRosa 817
So, I goofed in the last chapter! I attributed the original version of the cover song I rec'd, 'I Think We're Alone Now,' to Tiffany in the 1980s! In reality, as so many of you guys rightly corrected me, the original version of that song is from 1967 and belongs to Tommy James & The Shondells. I stand corrected! And I apologize. 3
Now, for this chapter, the cover recommended is Constant Craving, by J2, featuring Lesley Roy (originally performed by K.D. Lang)
Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin
And constant craving
Has always been
Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
Feeds wisdom
To its youth
Constant craving
Has always been
"See" you tomorrow. ;)