Damn Amanda Rollins – Chapter 12 (Unholiest Alliance Continued)

1:37am. She couldn't believe it wasn't closer to dawn. This night had started off with such promise, and then…well, it had gone so completely different than anything she ever imagined. Just a few hours ago, she had assumed that she would still be in that hotel room with Elliot at this very moment, but instead, here she was, alone in her big empty bed, with only her memories to soothe her.

And why couldn't she stop thinking about Ed tonight? Normally, her grief was merely a distant shadow in the corner of her mind, one that could easily be ignored. But tonight…tonight, she reached for the empty spot where he had slept for so many nights and was met with only her cold sheets. Oh, Ed…how she longed for him to hold her, just one more time.

Dodds had just left, and the gravity of the conversation was settling over the room like a blanket.He had been clear that NYPD was willing for both of them to hang for Ed's perceived involvement in this sex ring case that had somehow gone so horribly wrong.Their only hope was if Ed's cousin somehow turned on the Church and cleared this whole mess up, and Ed was absolutely certain that would never happen.

He stood in front of the living room window, looking out over the city, trying to piece together where this had gone so horribly wrong.He heard Olivia set the deadbolt after Dodds left and her soft footsteps as she came back to the living room.She came up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder blade. He spoke first.

"I'm going to fall on my sword for this.There's no need for you to lose your command, too" he said, but she could hear the hollowness in his voice.

"No, whatever happens, we're in this together," she insisted.She loosened her grip as he turned in her arms to face her.He brought his hands to her face and cupped her cheeks.

"No, Love. Taking SVU from you would be like taking the heart from your chest. When the time is right, you'll leave, but it needs to be on your terms and by your choice.Not like this." Her eyes searched his face for any sign of insincerity.Finding none, she leaned forward and buried her face in his chest.

"But your job means just as much to you as mine does to me," she said softly.He kissed the top of her head softly and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm eligible for retirement anyway. Hadn't made a decision, but sometimes the universe makes them for you.Really, Love, there's no reason for you to take the fall for this.I don't want that for you," he said, holding her close and gently stroking her hair. In truth, he had been imagining a very different life. He had hoped to transfer out of IAB, but retirement could work as well. He thought of the ring he spotted at Tiffany's earlier that month, the one he couldn't help imagining on her finger. Retired, he could be there for her and Noah round the clock. The thought of the two of them becoming his family always made him smile, and it seemed to be a matter of when, not if.

"So what do we do?" she asked, looking up at him.

"You stay out of trouble.Wait and see what happens after all of the deals are carried through.You'll get your office back, and I'll put my papers in.The worst thing that happens is I collect my pension and take up a hobby.If, by some miracle, it all clears up, I'll withdraw my request," he explained, letting her hair fall through his fingers. The fear in her eyes was plain as day.

"That's not the worst that could happen.You could go to prison over this, if…"

"That's not going to happen," he said, cutting her off.

"You don't know that," she whispered. "I can't bear to lose you now, and they're accusing you of some pretty serious felonies."

"I do know that.Your squad will do anything for you, and at the very least, Rollins knows about us. She won't let you lose me," he said.

Damn Amanda Rollins.She had found out about them before either of them had been ready to disclose.But…Ed was right.She would protect Liv, and that would result in Ed staying out of prison.She chuckled, remembering the night Rollins had called her while Ed's face was between her legs, and he hadn't been willing to stop long enough for her to take the call.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing…I was just thinking about that night in my undercover outfit?For the Super Bowl bust? When Rollins called?" she said, trying to jog his memory.

"Ohhh…" he tilted his head back, a smile creeping across his face. "That was a good night."

"For you, maybe.I had to live with my squad smirking at me for weeks," Liv said.

"You were satisfied, though, right?" he asked.

"Oh, you've never failed there.I thought I was going to catapult through the ceiling that time," she replied.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand and leading her towards the bedroom. "Let's see if I can make you forget about Community Affairs for a little while.

XxXxXxXxX

It was slow and frenzied at the same time. She didn't remember him peeling her clothes off, but he must have because she was naked in her bed, and she could not tear her lips from his.

"Ed," she whispered, "how about we spice things up tonight?"

Yes, tonight felt right. She wanted him to tie her up with his neckties, exactly as he had mentioned not that long ago.

"No," he said sharply. "Just sugar tonight." She sat stunned for a moment as he kissed his way along her jaw and latched onto the spot behind her ear that always made her see stars.

"Ed…" she moaned, but she was also worried about him. He was always as adventurous in bed as she wanted him to be. "Is everything…fuck!" He felt her tense in his arms, and he needed her to relax, but she wouldn't.

"No, wait. I- ohhhhh…God…." she moaned as he latched onto her nipple, sucking it in just the right way to send a flood of moisture between her legs. "Ed…" she panted.

"It's fine, Love. Just let me take care of you, like I always do. Please…" he answered. She could hear the need in his voice, and she sensed that he wanted to lose himself in sex instead of talking about whatever was bothering her. So, she would let him make love to her, and the conversation would wait.

He went back to kissing all of the places on her skin that sent jolts through her, and before long, she was squirming with need under him. He pulled her to her knees and turned her to face the headboard while positioning himself behind her.

All at once, the sensations overwhelmed her - his hands on her breasts, his lips on her neck, the rhythmic thrusting that hit all of the right places perfectly. He was going to get her first orgasm out before she barely had time to register what was happening. One hand drifted down to her clit, rubbing it in exactly the way he knew to send her reeling. Her body tensed, and the screams of pleasure echoed off the wall as he guided her through a fast, but powerful orgasm. His arm found her waist and held her up as she came down from the heights he had just sent her to, and he laid her back down again.

"Hi," he said softly, gently brushing her hair back to see her face. He stroked her hair as her breathing returned to normal and she gazed up at him. She cupped his face in her hands and pulled him in for a kiss.

"I really do love you, you know…" she whispered.

"I love you too, Olivia," he answered, deepening the kiss. He settled between her legs again and pushed into her, finding a slow rhythm that was comfortable for both of them. It wasn't the frenzied, needy lovemaking their first round was, but rather more loving, yet just as intense. He fixated on her eyes, and she felt like he was staring deep into her soul.

"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered.

"You could have saved yourself. You should have saved yourself," he said. Ok, this isn't exactly the position she wanted to be in when she had this conversation, but here she was.

"Shhh…no, not now," she whispered, stroking his face. She pulled him in for another kiss, causing him to shift so that he was hitting all the right places. She wrapped her legs around him and lost herself in the glorious sensations he was sending through her body. He took his time with her, but eventually brought her to climax again. He knew she didn't have a third one in her tonight, so he focused on bringing himself to climax as well, and spilled inside her shortly after she came down from her spiral.

He rolled off her and she curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest.

"I believe you, Ed. That's why I'm still here. You're not capable of what they're accusing you of," she whispered. He was stroking her hair again as her words registered.

"There was a time when you would have believed I was," he said. She couldn't deny that. He had been willing to sacrifice Cassidy, and he had been ready to put her away for murder once upon a time.

"I know you better now. You know things about me no one else does. I trust you with my life and with my son," she answered. She hesitated for a moment before asking the question she was desperate to get the answer to. "What happened tonight?"

"What do you mean? You need a third?" he asked, with all sincerity.

"No," she said quickly. "It's not that. It's…you picked sugar." He thought for a moment before answering her. There was a damn good reason why he wanted to keep things vanilla, but it would be so easy for her to misunderstand him.

"You know I'd never hurt you, right?" he began.

"Of course," she said.

"That's…why," he answered, saying nothing more. Her brow furrowed, and she sat up enough to face him.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean…Jesus, Liv," he paused. She looked down, fiddling with the sheet.

"Did you…think you might…hurt me?" she asked.

"I was angry at Dodds. I didn't want you tied up and helpless in front of me while I wanted to rip his throat out. I just wanted to keep you safe," he confessed.

"You always do," she said. She laid back down in his arms again. "I still want to do that with you, you know."

"What, let me tie you up?" he asked. She nodded. "I will, when the time is right for both of us. Sleep, Love. We both have a long day tomorrow."