Chapter Seventy-Nine: Knowing Yourself
In Thursday's Potions class, Snape told Daphne and Harry they'd be continuing their Occlumency lessons on Saturday night, and Daphne was excited to get back to it, despite her studies not having yielded many results yet. She hadn't had any more significant dreams and wasn't any further yet with figuring out the few pages of the book she'd managed to 'read' during History of Magic a few days before, but perhaps Snape might have some pointers for her.
"Over the summer we've had a few lessons, and we'll be picking up where we left off," Snape said. "Potter, in Potions I told you we'd be addressing your lack of attention to detail. In the context of Occlumency, that means that from now on, I shall be less overt with my intrusions and will actually attempt to make you doubt your own thoughts.
"These intrusions can be detected with enough focus, however, as you will be able to spot holes in the false images you will be shown. Refute them confidently, and you can expel me.
"This is the most advanced technique you will be able to learn at your age, and once you have some proficiency at it, your task will be to move away from the focus on your Patronus, and onto true nothingness."
"But sir, didn't you say that the attachments I have to my Patronus can help misdirect an attacker?" Harry asked.
"They can, but as you shall see in this new exercise, I will also be able to use your Patronus as leverage because of those attachments. As you grow older, you will become more adept at recognizing such manipulation and using it to your own advantage, but for the time being it will be enough to master the blank mind.
"The kind of Legilimency that requires the more advanced kind of Occlumency cannot be performed easily, and most likely not through the narrow connection that exists between you and the Dark Lord. To be even more precise, there are very few Legilimens I am aware of who would even be capable of that kind of Legilimency, and none would choose to use it on you in such a way."
Harry nodded slowly, and Snape turned to Daphne. "I shall be attempting the same thing on you as I will be doing on Potter. As my knowledge of Divination remains limited, it will be more an experiment on my part to see what your reaction will be. Unless your reading has given you any new insights?" he asked.
Daphne shook her head. "No. If anything, it's made me realize just how difficult Occlumency is going to be for me. To truly read the book you gave me, I have to let my mind wander when I look at it. I need to entirely ignore…well, reality, I guess."
Snape considered that for a moment and looked at Daphne thoughtfully, which is to say he stared at her in a way that was particularly unnerving.
"Very well," he said eventually. "We will try a different approach. In your first lesson, you admitted to not really attempting to resist at all, instead choosing to watch where the flow of thoughts went. I want you to do the same thing now, but you'll be a bit more attentive to the thoughts and images I call up. Not even the most skilled attacker can choose which thought to view first.
"Legilimency is a very complex skill because the human mind is a very complex thing. While a skilled Legilimens can influence it in many ways, there is always an element of uncertainty.
"The true power of Occlumency lies in knowing your own mind. In its complete form, you use the knowledge of your own mind to fill in the gaps in the knowledge of your attacker in such a way that the attacker doesn't even realize his knowledge is incomplete.
"The technique I had you trying until now involved bouncing an attacker into other ideas. This already leans toward the more advanced version of Occlumency, and worked to a degree for you because of your focus in emptiness — something of which you are absolutely sure. It remains, however, an active and noticeable battle. In your case, however, even you don't fully know your own mind, because it's so receptive to external influences.
"I shall be attempting to 'feed' you false information, like I will do to Potter, and rather than trying to expel my presence or bounce it elsewhere, I just want you to observe it. Of course, if I end up near your true secret, you will likely still push me out, but that is fine. I shan't be trying to go anywhere near it, if I can help it. Now, prepare yourself."
Daphne nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay," she said.
The by-now familiar feeling of random thoughts popping into her mind came over her, and like Snape had told her, she simply watched each of them as passively as possible, and in doing so, she felt slight 'tugs' on her thoughts every time Snape accessed a new area.
He seemed to be cycling through the different 'secrets' she'd written on slips of parchment over the course of the lessons. When he moved to the very first one, which said 'Kneazles are great', the 'tug' felt different, as if two memories were being pulled forth at the same time, but Snape had already moved on to another practice secret. Still, something felt off about that particular thought.
"Hang on," Daphne said with a frown once Snape's presence had withdrawn. "That isn't right, is it? The first secret I wrote down wasn't about Kneazles at all, was it? No…it was…it was about Potions!"
"What makes you think that?" Snape asked.
Daphne thought for a few moments. "Well…it was the same day you began to give us more explanations in class…and I know I commented on that. But I did write the one about Kneazles some time later… But what made me notice that thought, among all of them, was because it felt different when you called it up."
Snape nodded once. "I 'created' it by forcing two memories to blend together into one. The fact you were able to pick up on it means that your sensitivity to external influences does go far enough to guess their nature to some level. We'll soon be writing down new secrets, and you'll be doing the same thing again, merely observing what I do. Now, however, I will test Potter."
He turned toward Harry. "This will be difficult, Potter, so focus well. You must be confident and expel only the memory which is false. The difference will be subtle — I will not, for instance, be showing you a memory where you and Mr. Malfoy are friends."
Harry grinned briefly, but then nodded and said, "I understand. I'm ready."
Snape cast the spell and Harry frowned as he tried to push Snape out, which he eventually seemed to manage.
"That was the false memory, according to you?" Snape asked.
Harry nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Then tell me, Potter, without looking, what has been carved in the back of your hand by the blood quill?"
"I will not tell lies," Harry said immediately.
Snape merely flexed his own hand to indicate that Harry should look, and Daphne knew why: the line was I must not tell lies.
Harry blinked when he saw it. "So that other memory…"
"Was entirely real," Snape confirmed.
"Huh, I could've sworn I used Rictusempra on him…or maybe that was back in second year…" Harry muttered.
Daphne giggled when she realized that Harry was probably talking about a confrontation with Malfoy, as she couldn't imagine him being so casual about jinxing anyone else.
"As you can see, Potter, it's not hard to alter even an emotionally-charged and recent memory as long as care is taken to keep the change small. I deliberately chose this memory because it could so easily be verified.
"Now, normally a wizard would use a Confundus Charm or False Memory Charm to achieve effects like these. Doing it through Legilimency is needlessly complex. In your particular case, however, this will be the most likely form of attack you will receive, should the Dark Lord learn of the connection that exists between you. Go over the attack I just performed on you and analyze it, while I test Miss Greengrass again."
"Yes, sir."
Snape turned back toward Daphne. "Once more, I want you to merely feel what I am doing," he said.
Daphne nodded, and again let her mind wander while Snape attempted to navigate his way through it. She began to notice when Snape tried to call up another memory, as opposed to him simply allowing Daphne's own mind to leap to something else. It felt distinctly different, even though she couldn't quite explain exactly how.
Snape's presence withdrew again and he said, "Did you feel any differences to the last attempt?"
Daphne hesitated for a moment. "I don't think you changed any of those memories, did you?"
"No," Snape said. "But you did feel my influence?"
"I did," Daphne said.
"Then now, I want to you to attempt to force me out the moment you feel that influence. Depending on how it feels to you, you may attempt to visualize it, if that makes it easier to focus."
Daphne prepared herself again and nodded once to show she was ready, and Snape cast the spell again. She allowed him to pull on a few memories to get a good feel for it. When she felt the tugging sensation on her thoughts again, she opened her hands, vividly imagining someone pulling on a rope she was holding which she let go of, causing the other person to fall over.
Snape's presence vanished. "That was…adequate. I was still able to see some memories," he said.
Daphne nodded. "I wanted to be sure of the feeling, and once I was, I acted."
"I see. This method of defending your mind is not as strong as the method Potter is learning, as it can be overpowered with relative ease. However, it is very effective against casual prying, which is by far the most common form of Legilimency used. Until your own studies allow you to practice the regular form of Occlumency, you'll likely achieve the best results through this method."
They spent most of the evening refining the techniques Snape wanted them working on, and by the end of the evening Harry was fairly positive about his progress. He'd already begun moving away from using his Patronus as a focus point and was able to mostly deflect Snape's attempts to get into his mind. Daphne was getting more adept at recognizing the feeling of her thoughts being manipulated, and her reactions to it were getting faster. All in all, when she lay down on her bed that night, she felt good.
It was finally time for the Hogsmeade visit, and Daphne could tell Harry was a bit nervous about it.
"It'll be fine," she reassured him as they made their way down to the Three Broomsticks.
For her part, Daphne was excited to see who would turn up to the meeting. She knew all of S.I.N. would be there, including their newest members: Terence Higgs, second-year Joshua Ward and third-year Ada Taylor. Ginny would certainly be there, as would Fred, George, and Lee Jordan, and most likely half of Gryffindor in general, but beyond that…she'd have to wait and see.
They entered the pub, which was already quite crowded, and made their way to a table in the back from where they'd be able to see everyone else come in.
They'd invited Sirius to come over, but he'd declined, saying that the Ministry would probably get suspicious. All of it had been done in code, of course, but the meaning had been clear.
Slowly but surely, the others started to come in as well, and the turnout was pretty large. All in all, thirty-nine people had shown up, and it proved fairly difficult to get all of them in closely enough for them to hear anything over the general din of the pub.
That was good, of course; if they struggled to hear each other, then someone else certainly wouldn't be successful at eavesdropping.
Hermione seemed very nervous, seeing as how the entire meeting had been her idea, so Daphne leaned in and whispered, "Come on, get this thing started. You've got this."
"Right…right." Hermione straightened herself and said, "Well, er, hi."
The gathered people now focused on her, though many of them kept looking at Harry as well.
"Well, erm, well…you know why you're here. Erm…well, we, er, we had the idea that it might be good if people who wanted to study Defense Against the Dark Arts — and I mean really study it, you know, not the rubbish that Umbridge is doing with us, because no one could call that Defense Against the Dark Arts — well, I thought it would be good if we, well, took matters into our own hands."
She paused, looked sideways at Harry, and went on, "And by that I mean learning how to defend ourselves properly, not just theory but the real spells–"
"You want to pass your Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. too though, I bet?" Michael Corner, a Ravenclaw, said.
"Of course I do," Hermione said at once. "But I want more than that, I want to be properly trained in Defense because…because…"
She took a deep breath and finished, "Because Lord Voldemort's back."
Most people in the crowd flinched, save the Weasleys, who were getting used to it by now even though Fred, George, and Ron still didn't use the name themselves.
"Well, that's the plan anyway," Hermione said. "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to–"
"Where's the proof You-Know-Who's back?" a blond Hufflepuff Daphne recognized as Zacharias Smith asked aggressively.
Hermione wanted to reply, but Harry held up his hand to stop her, and everyone immediately focused on him.
"Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, didn't he?" Harry asked, looking coldly at Smith. "I saw Voldemort come back. If you didn't believe Dumbledore then, then you won't believe me now."
"Dumbledore only told us that Cedric Diggory got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought back his body. He didn't give us any details on how Diggory got murdered, and I think we'd all like to know–"
"You've had Moody last year, haven't you? I'm sure you can figure out what Voldemort did to Cedric," Harry said.
Daphne saw many people in the crowd — save the Slytherins — paling at that. Had they really not known or expected Voldemort would use the Avada Kedavra?
"And let me make one thing perfectly clear: I won't be talking about what happened that day. The fact alone that you think even asking me to describe what it looks like when someone is murdered in front of your eyes is in any way justified tells me you've never been in any dire situations."
He took a deep breath to calm himself. "You were in Cedric's House. I get that you want to know what happened to him. But I don't want to talk about what happened back then, and if you just showed up for the sensational story, you might as well clear out."
He looked ruefully at Cho Chang and said, "I'll make an exception for you. After…well, I had someone close to me to help me deal with everything. I know you and Cedric were… Look, you, more than anyone here, deserve to know what happened. If you want to know, I'll tell you after this meeting is over, and then you can decide if you want to tell anyone else."
Cho, who had teared up while Harry was talking, nodded slowly, and Daphne looked at Harry approvingly.
"So…" Hermione said a bit timidly. "So…like I was saying…if you want to learn some defense, then we need to work out how we're going to do it, how often we're going to meet, and where we're going to–"
"Is it true that you can produce a Patronus?" a girl with a long plait interrupted.
Some excited whispers went through the group.
"Yeah," Harry said, a bit defensively.
"A corporeal Patronus?"
Harry blinked. "Er…you don't know Madam Bones, do you?" he asked.
The girl smiled. "She's my auntie," she said. "I'm Susan Bones. She told me about your hearing. So…is it really true? You make a stag Patronus?"
"Yes," Harry said.
"Blimey, Harry," Lee said, looking very impressed. "I never knew that!"
"Mum told Ron not to spread it," Fred said with a grin at Harry. "She said you got enough attention as it was."
"She's not wrong," Harry mumbled.
"And did you really kill that Basilisk with the sword that hangs in Dumbledore's office?' Terry Boot asked.
"Er…yeah, I did, yeah," Harry said.
"And in our first year," Neville said to the group at large, "he saved the Philistine's Stone–"
"Philosopher's," Hermione hissed, though she seemed to be struggling not to laugh. Some other people were less successful.
"Yes, that…from You-Know-Who," Neville finished.
"And that's not to mention all the tasks he had to do at the Triwizard Tournament last year," Cho said. "Getting past dragons and Acromantulas and things…"
Harry looked a bit awkward at all the praise he was getting.
"Look," he said, and everyone fell silent. "I…I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be modest or anything, but…I had a lot of help with all that stuff…"
"Not with the dragon, you didn't," Michael Corner said immediately. "That was a seriously cool bit of flying."
"Yeah, well…"
"And no one helped you get rid of the Dementors this summer," Susan Bones pointed out.
"No," Harry said, "no, okay, I know I did bits of it without help, but the point I'm trying to make is that in situations like those, skill alone isn't enough. I don't want to give anyone here the idea that learning spells alone is guaranteed to keep you safe. Sometimes you need the help of others or plain old luck to get through. I wouldn't have gotten nearly as far with any of the things I did if it hadn't been for my friends. Dumbledore said last year that we are only as strong as we are united, and that's also true of this."
"Are you trying to weasel your way out of showing us any of this stuff?" Smith asked.
"Here's an idea," Ron said loudly, looking like he wanted to smash Smith's face in. "Why don't you shut your mouth?"
Smith flushed. "Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"Are you really as dumb as you look?" Tracey asked. "When did he ever say that?"
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" George asked, pulling out a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from one of his Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," Fred added.
"Yes, well," Hermione said hastily, "moving on…the point is, are we agreed we want to take lessons from Harry?"
There was a murmur of general agreement, and they spent some time planning their next moves, after Hermione took out a piece of parchment for everyone to sign.
Daphne, who knew what Hermione had done to it — having suggested a similar thing to her earlier — gave her a meaningful look and Hermione sighed. She hadn't wanted to tell anyone that the parchment had been jinxed, but Daphne felt people should at least be aware of what they were signing, using Harry's unknowing entry into a magical contract the year before as an argument.
Seeing that Hermione was still hesitating, Daphne stood up herself and said, "This parchment serves as a membership list of sorts. It's also been jinxed. If you sign this, you agree not to reveal anything about this group to Umbridge or anyone in league with her. If you do, you will regret it deeply. It won't kill you, but you'll probably wish you were."
Uneasy mutterings went through the group and Daphne went on, "Look, Umbridge won't like us doing this and if she finds out, she will try to stop us. I think we can all agree that we don't need fair-weather friends in a group like this. At the same time, I don't want anyone getting stuck in a magical contract of sorts without knowing the terms, so again, if you sign, you bind yourself to a certain amount of secrecy."
"What if someone forces us? With something like Veritaserum, for instance?" Tracey asked.
"The jinx only triggers if you willingly tell Umbridge or someone allied with her," Hermione said, resigned to being truthful now that Daphne had revealed the plot. "You're free to spread the word to people you think might be interested, though."
"But if we don't sign now we can still betray you to Umbridge," Smith pointed out.
"You could," Daphne admitted. "But you understand that if we are betrayed, the first people we'll go to are the ones who didn't sign. And not all of us are all that forgiving…"
The Gryffindors and Slytherins all signed the list quite cheerfully, though some of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs seemed more reluctant.
In the end, however, everyone had signed except for one Ravenclaw, Cho's friend Marietta Edgecombe.
"I can't do this. My mother works at the Ministry…if Umbridge finds out it could cost her her job," she said pleadingly.
"My father knows a lot of people there," Daphne said. "If Umbridge does sack her, I'll make sure he gets it appealed. In the worst case, she'll be transferred to another department."
"Can you…can you do that?" Marietta asked uncertainly.
"The Ministry's corrupt and my dad has money," Daphne said. "How d'you think Malfoy gets things done?"
Reluctantly, Marietta signed her name, and everyone began to file out.
Cho hung behind for a bit, motioning at Marietta to go on ahead, and when Harry spotted her, he said, "C'mon, let's take a walk."
He looked at the others. "I'll see you guys later."
He and Cho left the pub as well, and Hermione said, "That's very mature of Harry."
"I can be mature too," Ron said inconsequentially.
Hermione ignored him and looked at Daphne. "You must be a positive influence on him…"
Daphne shrugged. "Maybe. I think it's mostly just because we talked so much over the summer so he understands how she feels. Still…the meeting went well, I'd say," she said.
"That Zacharias bloke's a wart, though," Ron said.
"I don't like him much either," Hermione admitted, "but he overheard me talking to Ernie and Hannah at the Hufflepuff table and he seemed really interested in coming, so what could I say? But the more people the better, really — I mean, Michael Corner and his friends wouldn't have come if he hadn't been trying to go out with Ginny–"
"He WHAT?" Ron interrupted.
"Calm down," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "He's trying to go out with me. I met him at the Yule Ball and we became friends after, that's it, like Krum and Hermione. I told him I don't like him in that way, but he still likes hanging out with me. Though if I were going out with him, it would still be none of your business, thanks."
Daphne tuned out the rest of the conversation. When Hermione had mentioned Michael Corner trying to go out with Ginny, her internal reaction to hearing it had been the same as Ron's…but why? It had nothing to do with her who anyone else wanted to date. It didn't bother her that Harry was alone with Cho, even though she had a feeling that Cho was interested in Harry for more than just talking about Cedric.
So why would it matter to her if Ginny, who was just her friend, might be dating someone? It made no sense at all. And yet, Daphne couldn't deny that, for whatever reason, it was significant to her.
Well, it's plain to see that we're starting to move toward the triad from here. It'll be a while yet before it really becomes a thing, of course.