Chapter Eighty: Of Two Minds

Daphne's odd reaction to learning that Ginny might be dating someone kept her thoughts occupied over the rest of the weekend, though on Monday morning, something more pressing took over. A notice was affixed to the noticeboard in the common room.

BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS

All student Organizations, Societies, Teams, Groups, and Clubs are henceforth disbanded.
An Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students.
Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge).
No Student Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club may exist without the knowledge and approval of the High Inquisitor.
Any student found to have formed, or to belong to, an Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-four.

Signed:
Dolores Jane Umbridge
HIGH INQUISITOR

"That's utterly ridiculous," Tracey said with a roll of her eyes. "By this definition, we'll get kicked out of Hogwarts for being in our dorm at night, because there's five of us and we meet there regularly. We can't be in class, either, because there's ten of us there, more if we're joined with the Gryffindors or someone else. I'm not going to ask Umbridge for permission to re-form our class and I doubt anyone else will even read it that way even though that is what it says. I wonder what the grace period is? Because beyond that moment, everyone in school should probably be expelled, according to this."

"I think they're being deliberately over-inclusive. I mean, Educational Decree Twenty-One made it so Hagrid lost his job and Sirius couldn't be hired, and that decree should be entirely illegal as well," Daphne said.

Tracey shrugged. "Well, I imagine both S.I.N. and our new Defense club are going to ignore this, right? Though I wonder who tipped off Umbridge…the timing's a bit too convenient."

Daphne nodded thoughtfully. "Let's get to the Great Hall. I want to ask Harry and the others what they think…"

"It wasn't anyone from the meeting; they all look normal," Hermione said. "But maybe someone else overheard…I knew we should've gone to the Hog's Head…"

"If we were spotted in the Three Broomsticks, they don't know what it's about," Daphne said. "It was just too noisy. They'll have seen how large our group was and made assumptions. But it doesn't matter anyway. We knew from the start Umbridge would try to stop us."

Harry nodded. "We're doing this," he said. "I'm not backing out now…"

At that moment, Angelina came over, looking desperate. "Harry! Ron!"

"It's okay," Harry said quietly. "We're still going to–"

"You realize she's including Quidditch in this?" Angelina interrupted. "We have to go and ask permission to re-form the Gryffindor team!"

"What?" Harry asked.

"No way," Ron said, appalled.

"Technically, she also banned classes and dorms, but if we don't tell her that, she'll end up having to expel the entire school, which will make her look like a right idiot," Daphne said.

"Never mind that," Angelina said impatiently. "Look, Harry…you need to stay calm whenever you're around Umbridge, or she might not let us play anymore."

Harry nodded grimly. "I'll stay calm, don't worry. I won't give her any reason to keep us grounded…"

Daphne ran a bit late coming from Muggle Studies and arrived at Potions just in time to see Neville attempting to attack Malfoy, but being held back by Harry and Ron. Before she could ask anyone what was going on, Snape arrived, wasting no time at all in taking ten points from Gryffindor and ordering everyone to get inside the dungeon.

"What was that about?" she quietly asked Harry and Ron just before they went inside.

"Malfoy said something about Fudge having me carted off to St. Mungo's, because apparently my scar makes me crazy, and Neville…he just lost it," Harry said.

"Maybe someone he knows is in there?" Daphne guessed. "I'd be pretty angry if someone was making stupid jokes about something like that too."

Harry shrugged uncertainly. "I guess," he said.

They filed into the dungeon and took their usual seats.

"You will notice," Snape said once everyone had taken their places, "that we have a guest with us today."

He gestured over to the dim corner of the dungeon, where Umbridge sat on a stool with her clipboard.

"We are continuing our Strengthening Solutions today. You will find your mixtures as you left them last lesson. If correctly made, they should have matured well over the weekend. Instructions on the board. Carry on."

Daphne occasionally looked at Umbridge, who initially merely sat in the corner taking notes. She noticed Harry doing the same, but he seemed more preoccupied than she was, and she saw that Hermione was warily eyeing his potion.

Daphne grabbed a dried, but not yet powdered beetle off her desk and threw it at Harry's head when Umbridge was looking down and Snape's back was turned.

Harry shot her a glance and Daphne looked pointedly at his potion. Harry grimaced and went back to work, and Hermione gave Daphne a relieved look.

Then, Umbridge got to her feet and walked toward Snape, who was inspecting Dean Thomas's cauldron.

"Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level," Umbridge said. "Though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the Strengthening Solution. I think the Ministry would prefer it if that was removed from the syllabus."

Snape looked at her, seemingly neutrally, though Daphne knew this particular expression as one of sheer impatience.

"Now…how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" Umbridge asked.

"Fourteen years," Snape replied flatly.

"You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Umbridge asked.

"Yes," Snape said quietly.

"But you were unsuccessful?"

Snape's lip curled. "Obviously."

Umbridge scribbled on her clipboard. "And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"

"Yes," Snape said, now looking like he was seconds away from hexing Umbridge.

"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?" Umbridge asked.

"I suggest you ask him," Snape said jerkily.

"Oh, I shall," Umbridge said with a smile.

"I suppose this is relevant?" Snape asked.

"Oh yes," Umbridge replied. "Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers', er, backgrounds…"

She turned away and walked over to Pansy to question her about the lessons.

Snape, meanwhile, looked at Harry, and then at his potion, which didn't look quite the way it should because Harry had been distracted by the interaction between Umbridge and Snape.

For a moment, it seemed like Snape was going to take out his frustrations on Harry, but then he said, "You must keep your focus, Potter, even in a…distracting environment. Haven't your remedial classes taught you that much?"

He looked at a table further back. "Longbottom! Take that cauldron off the flames at once, you simpleton, or you'll shower us all with shrapnel again! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!"

"Pot, meet kettle…" Harry muttered as he watched Snape raging at Neville.

"Look on the bright side, mate. At least he's not having a go at you this time. Guess it helps you're dating his favorite student…" Ron said.

"If you suggest I'm dating Malfoy one more time I'm drowning you in your own cauldron," Harry said, though he looked amused.

Ron, though, looked sickened. "Oh, God, mate, that's horrible. Malfoy? Not even I would joke about that," he said with a shudder.

When Daphne entered Trelawney's room after lunch, she wanted to ask if she could use her own Divination book this time, but by the looks of it, Trelawney wasn't going to be in a very accommodating mood. She looked angrier than Daphne had ever seen her.

After nearly braining several people with surprisingly strongly thrown Dream Oracles, she said, "Well, carry on! You know what to do! Or am I such a substandard teacher that you have never learned how to open a book?"

"I think she's got the results of her inspection back," Harry muttered to Daphne and Ron.

"Professor?" Parvati asked in a hushed voice. "Professor, is there anything, er, wrong?"

"Wrong!" Trelawney cried. "Certainly not! I have been insulted, certainly…Insinuations have been made against me…Unfounded accusations levelled…but no, there is nothing wrong, certainly not…"

Of course, Trelawney then went on a rant about the establishment persecuting Seers like her, and she dramatically looked at Daphne.

"They'll do the same to you! They fear what they can't understand and they can't look past it!"

"Rooted by fear…" Daphne muttered.

"Exactly!" Trelawney shouted, who took Daphne's muttering as a sign of approval, though Daphne was of course thinking about something else entirely.

"Professor," she said, interrupting the beginning of another lament as she did so. "As I'm also, er, a Seer…Could I perhaps study on my own for now? I have a book here that can only be read by Seers and I can get into the right mindset here."

She didn't specify that meant 'sleepy and unfocused'; Trelawney probably wouldn't appreciate that remark right at that moment.

"As you attempted to help me when that…woman…was here…Yes, yes, you may pursue your own studies for now," Trelawney said, a bit distractedly.

"Thanks," Daphne said.

She picked up her bag and moved to an empty table, away from everyone else, ignoring the mutterings from everyone but Harry, Ron, and Neville. Especially Parvati and Lavender seemed intrigued, and Daphne had the distinct feeling she'd be getting some questions during the next meeting of their Defense club. It didn't matter for now.

She took out her book, cast Revelio to return it to its normal appearance, and opened it to the same page she'd been on before. It took a few moments, but then she began to skim the page again and felt the rush of ideas and images, too many to make sense of.

Choose.

Daphne looked up for a moment. Choose? Choose what? Choose what she wanted to learn? Well, obviously, that would be the focus in emptiness…but how could she 'choose' that as a subject?

She stared at the page again, taking a deep breath of the perfumed air to cloud her mind a bit more.

Again, thoughts and ideas began to flow into her, and Daphne tried to find some way of distinguishing them. And this time, perhaps because of the Occlumency practice, she could feel how the ideas from the book were subtly different from her own and how they nudged her own thoughts along. Was it Legilimency combined with something divinatory? What kind of witch or wizard had created this book? The magic on it seemed incredibly complex.

Daphne was now beginning to realize that even the ideas coming from the book weren't all the same. They seemed to have different…well, colors, somehow, only color had very little to do with it. It was just the easiest way for Daphne to think about it.

She thought briefly of the concept of focus in emptiness, and it felt like a particular set of thoughts lit up in response, all with the same 'color'.

Page 328.

Daphne turned to that page and saw that it was indeed the chapter she'd already read through before. Were those first two pages a table of contents? That was needlessly complicated…but perhaps even using it required some kind of control that would be necessary for everything else, too.

She stared at the page, tracing the shape of the letters in the flickering firelight, and waited for the thoughts to begin.

As before, the stream of ideas was a jumble of noise, impossible to make sense of on its own — but Daphne felt the subtle differences, and thought of the thing that had been on her mind for quite a while: fear.

The moment she did so, a chain of thoughts became apparent to her, and she wanted to begin following it, but it went in several directions.

She wished there was an easier way to get the information she wanted, perhaps someone who'd read the book she could ask about it…

Well, that can be arranged, her own voice thought in her head, only she hadn't meant to think it.

That's because it's not entirely you, her own voice thought.

This is pretty confusing, Daphne thought back to herself.

Give me a name then. How about Pythia? It was the name of a pretty famous oracle.

Daphne considered that for a moment. "Right. Pythia, then…you're not–" Daphne thought.

"No, I'm not like Riddle's diary," Pythia replied. "I know only what you consciously know and what is written in my pages. I've merely been enchanted to present my information in the way that is easiest for the Seer reading me, be that visions, voices, or, like with you, inner conversations. You'll find me quite useless regarding anything you don't already know or that isn't in the book."

"Can you see my subconscious as well?" Daphne asked.

"Only the barest bit. The Legilimency I use is designed to give you my information, not to extract it from you, like your Sorting Hat does."

"Okay…so can you help me shift my focus in emptiness? It's stopping me from learning Occlumency…" Daphne said.

"I can. Your current focus in emptiness is Harry, and as your dream during the second task so helpfully told you, being 'rooted in fear' has everything to do with it. You've read in my physical pages that shifting your focus in emptiness requires you to let go of your attachments, but it's not quite what you believe it to be," Pythia said.

"You think that 'letting go' means you need to separate yourself from Harry, but what it really means is that you need to get over the fear of losing him. You hold onto him so strongly because you're afraid. Afraid he might die, like in your vision, or afraid he might not want to be with you because you are not at peace with yourself…afraid he might think Ginny is better for him after all."

Daphne didn't know what to 'say' to that, so Pythia went on, "So let's address this: Your fear of Harry dying is understandable, but you're already doing everything you can to prevent that from happening. That is not the fear that is rooting you.

"The second one is more insidious. You fear he will not love you anymore while you still love him, because you don't consider yourself worthy of it. He's already told you, several times, what he thinks about that. It is not something you have control over.

"The third fear ties in with the second. The fear that he will decide Ginny is better for him than you are. Love, however, is infinite and indivisible. Loving one thing does not diminish the love for another. Loving to sing does not mean you love reading less. Loving one person does not mean you love another person less.

"If Harry does love Ginny, why would that mean he'd stop loving you? Do you like your existing friends less when you meet a new friend? More to the point, do you like Hermione for the same reasons you like Ron? You'd go to the ends of the earth to help either of them, because you love both of them equally. The love simply takes a different shape. And that holds true for Harry as well, of course.

"Love is infinite and indivisible. Everything you love, you love with your full capacity for it, just in a different form. Or would you be able to easily choose between sacrificing Harry, your parents, or Nyx?

"'Letting go' in the context of attachment to a thing — person in your case — means that you need to accept that Harry loves you, like you love him, and that he loves Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and all his other friends and sort-of family members as well, equally, but differently.

"Platonic or romantic, that only matters because you think it does. It doesn't. It's all love. Infinite and indivisible. As long as you give love, like you have been doing, you're doing all you can. Beyond that, it's out of your control. Why worry?

"Desperately holding on will only work against you. You already know this. Have faith in those you love. That is what it means to let go. Do that, and you will find your focus in emptiness is suddenly easier to shift, and then you begin to develop further as a Seer."

"I'd be able to see other people's futures?" Daphne asked.

"Yes. You–"

"Hey! Daphne!"

Daphne shook her head and looked up. "Huh?" she said eloquently.

"Class is over," Ron said, looking at her like she'd lost her mind.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked. "You were just sitting there, randomly flipping through that book…it looked like you were possessed, or something," he went on.

"I did?" Daphne asked.

She hadn't even noticed that, but she supposed it made sense. It wasn't likely that all the information Pythia had just given her was located on a single page. She'd simply been so absorbed in the conversation that she hadn't even noticed it.

She glanced at the book's author. Elizabeth Richards… Not a name that rang any bells, but Daphne resolved to look up more about her. She'd clearly been a very talented witch, writing a book with an enchantment like this…

She quickly cast an Obfuscato on the book to make it look like a Potions book again and stuffed it in her bag.

"Alright," she said. "Let's go."

Okay, a few things. The wording of the decree really is stupid. No exceptions are given to the 'three students meeting regularly' definition, so every student in school should be expelled. The loose definition fits with what the Ministry is trying to do, of course, but I'm choosing to believe they're incompetent enough to actually overlook this.

I wanted to call Daphne's book-conversation partner 'Delphi', after the oracle (whose real name was Pythia), but a certain play/book that I consider to be a fanfic written with less care than this one has a character named Delphi, and aside from that Daphne and Delphi look a bit too similar at a glance to be comfortable, especially since the italics will likely be annoying too.