Chapter 6: Christian's POV
November 18, 2016
"Christian, you really don't have to meet us at the airport," Anastasia's sweet voice said. "I know how busy you are, and it's going to be late when we get there. I'll see you tomorrow anyway."
"No way, Princess," I told her. "I haven't seen you in two months. I need to be there, Ana. I've missed you."
Her gentle voice still had the ability to calm me like no other. "Christian, we've been talking at least once a day everyday, and texting a lot more than that. When have you had time to miss me?"
"There was that week when I first checked into the clinic when they wouldn't let me communicate with the outside world," I reminded her.
"And it's been what, six weeks, since your week of isolation ended? We've talked a lot since that week, Christian," Ana said.
Well, that was true. We talked for hours, almost everyday. No matter how busy I was, I made time to talk with Ana. Usually, it was late at night my time, morning in her time zone. I never grew tired of talking with her, and I had told her everything about myself... even my most guarded secrets. There was nothing that Ana didn't know about me. She also had shared so much of herself with me that I doubted there was anything that she had held back.
When we'd taken my private jet to Sweden that Saturday morning, the morning after I almost ended my life, I'd spent the next few days getting Ana and Ray settled in Stockholm, and then I'd left for England. I had found a mental health clinic in rural Northern England, near Scotland, and checking into that clinic undoubtedly had been the best decision of my life. I'd spent a month in intense therapy there, and now that I was back in the real world, I could say with certainty that it had been worth every minute, and every pound sterling that I'd spent, but I wasn't complaining because I could afford it and would have paid much more if necessary to get to my present state of mind. Even better, one of the founders and original physicians at the clinic had moved to Seattle a couple of years ago, and I had already scheduled regular appointments with him. Dr. John Flynn had already seen me three times in the two weeks that I'd been back, and I had another appointment with him this afternoon. For the first time in my life, I was actually going to therapy sessions and not hating it.
"But I haven't seen you in person in two months, Ana," I reminded her. "It's not the same. I really thought I'd be able to visit you in Sweden before I returned home at the first of the month, but Ros swore that GEH was going to fall apart if I didn't get back."
"And if I recall correctly, it would have. It was Mutiny on the Bounty, and Christian Grey saved the day once again," Ana said. God, I loved her smart mouth. I really hoped I'd be kissing it very soon.
"I always hated that book," I muttered to Ana. I knew I sounded like a spoiled brat, but it was one of the ways we bantered, and I loved it.
Ana snorted. "Why, because the mutineer's name was Christian?"
"Well... yeah. I didn't like that the bad guy had my name."
"Well..." Ana imitated my tone playfully. "First of all, it was his last name, not his first name, and second of all... was he really the bad guy?"
"Wasn't he, Miss Literature Nerd?" I teased her.
"Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, doesn't matter. Jack Hyde was definitely the bad guy in your own scenario."
"It wasn't as bad as Ros led me to believe. Only a few heads had to roll. Everything's getting back to normal now. Mainly just Jack Hyde and Elizabeth Morgan were the bad apples. And the idiots he hired. They're all gone now."
Ana sighed. "Christian, why are you downplaying what happened? Your CFO tried to take over, after only being in his new position for a few weeks. Your leave of absence set the stage for a perfect storm, which he engineered, and only the quick action of Ros and yourself prevented catastrophe. And now, you have to hire a new CFO while still sorting out the mess that Hyde left of your financial records. And you still haven't replaced me."
"Well, now, that would be impossible to do, my dear Ana," I told her sincerely.
She huffed. "You know what I mean! You need a new assistant, Christian!"
"Can we talk about that in person, after you get here?" I asked her.
"OK, tomorrow then," Ana agreed.
I was hoping I could convince her to come back to work for me temporarily until she could help me find a new assistant. Things really were crazier than ever at GEH... Ana was right, I was downplaying the seriousness of the situation that Jack Hyde had created. It turns out, hiring internally had been a bad move on mine and Ros's parts. Loyalties had already been formed, and for reasons unknown to us, Hyde had thought he could completely disassemble my company, beginning with the entire Accounting department. He'd starting firing people left and right... basically anybody who didn't kiss his ass.
Ros had admitted that it was too much for her to deal with by herself, and she'd begged me to return, so I did. And now that I was back from my leave of absence, busy cleaning up all the shit that had accumulated in my absence, in addition to Hyde's clusterfuck, I really didn't have time to interview people to assist me. Neither did Andrea, on whom I'd already dumped too much work. And Ros was about to lose her mind, so we really needed to hire a new CFO right away, to take some of the pressure off Ros. Due to Hyde's clusterfuck, we'd lost some good people, and I was currently trying to get some of them back, but we really did need to hire a new CFO as soon as possible who could straighten out the near catastrophe Hyde had made of our financial records.
As I thought about Ros's words as she begged me to return from England, Ana's words to me on that fateful night came back to haunt me... she'd said that Ros couldn't run GEH on her own. Now, I was seeing that Ana was right, as usual. Ros was an amazing COO, and I truly would not want anyone else in that position, but both jobs were too much for any one person. Even I would not be capable of running GEH without Ros, so I'm not sure why I thought she'd be able to run it without me. We both needed each other. I understood why Ros was going crazy, because for the few days before my return, when shit had hit the fan and she'd fired Hyde, which she had both the authority and my blessing to do, she'd been acting as COO, CEO, and CFO all at once. She'd just about had her own nervous breakdown. Well, if that happened, I knew of a good clinic in rural England that I could send her to. It had worked wonders for me.
"How's Ray?" I asked Ana, who was still on the line. I wanted to steer the conversation away from work, but I also wanted to hear how her dad was doing as they were getting ready for their return home.
"Grouchy as hell, even more so than yesterday," Ana answered. "Ready to get home."
"Still doing well, health wise?" I asked.
"Amazingly well," Ana answered happily, making me feel all warm and fuzzy. "I met with Dr. Lind again today, and she is very pleased with his prognosis. He's actually regained muscle strength. He started jogging today, Christian. I can't believe it. We thought he might be in a wheelchair by now, before we did this treatment."
"I'm glad, Ana. Are you sure he's ready to come home?" I asked.
"Yes, you've asked me that a dozen times, Christian. I'm sure. The medication is regulated now, so he needs to just keep doing what he's doing. He's stayed on the diet long enough to know exactly what to eat. I've talked with Patrice, his caretaker from the facility where he lives in Seattle, and she's already stocked his kitchen with everything he needs. She's even pre-cooked some meals for him and put them in his freezer. She'll be checking on him every morning, and making sure he has everything he needs. But I think Dad will want to take care of himself, knowing him, so Patrice probably won't need to spend much time there. She'll cook more meals if he needs her to, but I'm leaving that ball in Dad's court."
"Does she clean for him too?" I asked. I could send Gail if he needed that kind of help.
"No," Ana answered, "there's a cleaning company that sends someone twice a week to do his laundry, mop and vacuum the floors, and do dusting and light household stuff... whatever he needs."
"He seems like a pretty neat and organized guy, so I doubt he'll have much to clean up," I observed.
"Yeah, he never forgot his military training. I think he's where I get it from," she said.
"No, with you, it's a gift," I told her. "One that I admire." Yes, I was hoping that flattery would get me somewhere.
She laughed at me. "Keep it up, Christian. You know I love it when you admire my abilities, not my... appearance. I liked keeping you organized. Kind of miss it, actually."
I was hoping she missed it enough to work for me again, but I wasn't ready to bring that up yet. It was a conversation I wanted to have in person. "Well, I only know how quickly you'll shut me down if I start talking about what else I admire about you, beautiful."
As expected, she completely ignored my comment and steered the conversation back to her father. "Anyway, the physical therapist that you flew here, Jodie, finished her training with Dr. Lind's team yesterday, and she flew back commercial early this morning. She had to get back early. I like her. Thanks again for helping us find her."
"I didn't do much," I answered honestly. You can thank Welch when you get back. He found her."
"OK," she replied. "Anyway, I feel confident about everything. Dr. Lind has already been communicating with Dad's doctors there in Seattle. She will get the results directly from them and keep monitoring him. Dad really misses home. I think he'll do even better once he's back in familiar territory."
"Back in rainy Seattle," I joked. "I have to admit, I missed it too when I was away."
"Yeah, me too," Ana admitted. "It's home."
"So..." I started. I was dying to ask her, and I didn't want to wait until I saw her. "Have you thought about it, Ana? Have you decided yet?"
She didn't answer immediately. In fact, the line was so quiet that I was afraid that we'd lost the connection. "Ana, are you still there?" I asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"Yes? You mean, yes, you're there, or yes, you'll go with me?" I asked, holding my breath there at the end.
"I'll go, both on Thursday and on Saturday. But it doesn't mean we're dating, Christian. It's one date. Well, two... but not really, because Thanksgiving with your family isn't a date. Dad will be there too. It's family and friends being thankful together, and I'm looking forward to it. The Coping Together Ball... that's a date. With you. One date. Not 'dating' which is a progressive verb that implies more than one date. But anyway, yes, I'll go with you."
"Really?" I pressed. I wanted to make sure it was really what she wanted.
"Christian, people saw us together at events like this all the time when I went as your assistant. That's what they're going to think this is. It's not really all that different."
"Ana, it's very different," I argued. "You were never really my date back then. Well, you were, but I couldn't... Other than a few dances, I couldn't get close to you. No PDA. But now..."
Ana interrupted me. "Christian, I really don't think PDA would be a good idea now either. Do you really want pictures of us locking lips printed in Seattle Noos? Or plastered all over the Internet?"
If it meant I got to lock lips with Ana, then I didn't really give two shits where it was printed. And besides, I wanted the world to know that she was mine. But I also wanted to respect my girl's wishes. Never again would I disrespect her the way I had when I'd made that horrible proposition, and never again would I try to force her into anything she didn't want to do.
"OK, sweetness, no PDA. I promise to keep all displays of affection for your eyes only." And believe me, baby, there will be plenty of displays of affection, if you'll let me. But I knew she'd nip my suggestions in the bud if I said what I wanted to do to her, so I didn't say it. "Anyway, there's another reason why this event is different than any we've attended before. It's Coping Together, Ana. It's my mom's charity, the one that she started because of my history, which I've told you all about. It's very personal. And I want to share that with you. And I want my family to know that you're... more than an assistant to me. I love you, Ana, and I want everyone to know it."
"Slow and easy there, big guy," Ana teased me. "Friends, Christian. I'm not your girlfriend."
"Not yet," but she would be. Shit, did I say that out loud?
"Christian, we've had this discussion," Ana reminded me. "Don't pressure me."
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked. I was glad we were back on this subject, because there was something I had recently realized about Ana that wanted to understand better.
"You better not be about to ask me another sex related question," she snapped, which only made me laugh.
"No, baby, no sex," I promised. "I won't talk to you about how amazing I'm going to make it for you until you agree to be mine. That's not what I wanted to ask you. Do you remember that conversation we had a few days ago about the assholes you'd dated? You mentioned that it took you a long time to trust them enough to go out with them in the first place. I want to understand that, Ana. Why was it so hard to trust them? Why's it so hard for you to trust me?"
She was quiet again before she started talking. "Well, first of all, you're different than them," she answered. "But my trust issues... yeah, I guess they're all related. When it comes to why it's hard for me to trust a guy, the issues are the same, no matter who the guy is, even you."
"Why am I different?" I asked. "What do you mean by that?"
Again it took her a moment to respond. "I didn't want... I probably would have done it with Paul if he'd stuck around and kept it in his pants long enough. But even with him... it was more because I was ready... you know, to lose it. Not because I really wanted him, even though I thought he was attractive. With Greg and Jose, I wasn't interested in either of them that way. But with you..." She trailed off at the end, just about killing me.
"With me...?" I prompted her.
"OK, I admit it, I want you. But..." She stopped again, and I could hear the fear in her voice when she finally continued, "I'm not sure... You're a lot to handle, Christian."
"Don't be scared, Ana," I tried to reassure her. "I promise. I am not going to hurt you."
"I believe that you will not purposefully hurt me," she answered. "But I have issues too. And like I said... you're a lot to handle."
"You don't need to handle me," I replied. "Just let me love you. But anyway, I want to understand, and I get why you're... reluctant. Because of my issues, not yours. I've got so many issues I could take out a subscription, but I'm already a better man because of you. But how is it that you think you have issues? You're perfect, Ana."
"There's something I haven't told you yet that I've been doing for the past month here in Stockholm," she responded. "I was able to start seeing a shrink of my own, mainly because you've insisted on paying me even though I haven't been working for you. I had the time and funds, for the first time ever, and I knew I needed it. I want to get over my... issues. I want to experience... love. I think the only reason I'm even able to talk to you right now is because of my therapy sessions. I've already worked through a lot of it."
"Ana, I would have paid for your therapy if I'd known..."
"Of course you would have," she snapped. Then she said more appreciatively, "Well, actually you are paying for it. Because you're paying me money I'm not earning, and I'm using it to pay for therapy. But anyway, that's not the point. I thought you wanted to 'understand me better.'" She imitated my voice playfully at the end."
"I do," I insisted.
Her next words shocked me. "I have 'mommy issues,' Christian." She said it so matter-of-factly, like she was talking about the price of bread. What the hell?
"Ana... I'm the one with 'mommy issues,' remember? What the hell do you mean?"
With her usual snarkiness, she responded, "What, I can't have 'mommy issues' just because I don't want to tie up, beat and fuck women who look like her? Get over yourself, Christian. My issues are different from yours, but they're still issues."
I smiled to myself as I realized that my dearest Ana could talk to me like this without pissing me off. She had undoubtedly become my best friend. I had a best friend. A beautiful woman whom I loved with everything within me. I discovered that I did indeed have a heart, and it belonged to her. I felt so different than I had two months ago, when I almost ended everything. Part of it was the therapy, and part of it was that Ana gave me hope. I wanted to be healthy for her. When I'd told her about my own Mommy issues, I'd expected her to end our Skype call and want nothing to do with me ever again, but she did not even look repulsed, only disturbed. By then, she knew I didn't want to do any of that to her, or at least I hope she did. She only listened and didn't judge me. And then she changed the subject.
"So, what are your issues?" I asked her. "Explain them to me, baby."
"My mom... How can I put it kindly? She always had to have a man in her life. I don't remember a time when she wasn't with someone. My earliest memory is of her with my dad, Ray, but I'm sure there were others between my birth father and Ray, before Mom and Ray met. Ray was one of the few who treated her with respect. But when he was deployed... Mom just couldn't be without a man. She was like... well, she was like a cat in heat. She had to have... you know. She cheated on Dad, and really, all a man had to do was pay her a little attention, and she'd be... willing."
"I get it, Ana," I told her. "I really do."
"Yeah, I know you do, Christian," she responded. "Anyway... all those men in and out of our lives, and very few of them showing respect... some of them even hitting her, many of them talking to her like she was a... like she was their whore. I hated that. And I learned... to be leery. Mom is on husband number five now, but there were many men in between those husbands, and most of them only wanted one thing from her. Once she gave it up, they were done with her. And I learned, as I got older... I look a lot like my mom. She's pretty. Men noticed her. And I have the same curse. And when they notice me... there's one thing on their minds. They want me to give it up. But I know, once I do that, they'll be done with me, because men are basically all the same. They want to fuck, but they don't want all the shit that goes with being in a relationship."
"That's a really unfair over-generalization," I argued.
"Like you were really any different, Christian?" she challenged back. "Now, you claim to feel... differently... about me. But what I'm describing... it's how you treated every woman before me. And it's how you treated me too, when you made that ridiculous proposition."
"Ana, I..."
"No, Christian, let me finish. I forgave you for that, and I know in my head that you're beyond that. But the fear would still be there either way, even if you hadn't done that."
"But I made it much worse," I added dismally.
"You made it hell for a few days, but then you apologized. I'm sincere about forgiving you, but the memory is there of you almost making me... your whore. You wanted to tie me up and beat me like Number Three did. The very reason that I... I've found it so hard to be intimate with a guy, and when I finally find a guy I want to be intimate with... you wanted to do... that."
"Ana, I never wanted to beat you. I did want to restrain you, but that was only because it was the only way I knew how to do it."
"That's so not the point I'm trying to make right now," she told me.
"It's the biggest regret of my life," I lamented.
"Yeah, I know, Christian, and I'm not reminding you to make you feel bad about it again. You asked, so I'm explaining."
"I really do want to understand everything about you, Ana," I told her.
"Well, I obviously don't want to be some guy's little plaything. That may be what my mother wants, and how she sees herself, but it's not for me. That's why I've only dated three guys. And those three guys... all three of them were my friends before I agreed to date them. I had... at least a measure of trust with them. I thought they'd respect me, and not see me as... a conquest. But I was wrong... with all three of them."
"Are you saying that none of them respected you?" I asked, but then, I already knew the answer. "I mean, I know they didn't. That Clayton asshole cheated on you, and the other fucker... the Rodriguez boy... he tried to force himself on you. What about the first guy... that McKay boy that you dated in high school, right?" I wanted to find all three of those bastards and punch their lights out. But then, I'd have to punch my own lights out as well. What I'd done was just as bad as any of them, if not worse.
She answered, "Yes, you remember well. The boy in high school? His name was Greg McKay. We'd known each other our entire lives. We grew up together. It wasn't very serious. We kissed, that's all. I found out... he'd had some kind of bet with his basketball friends that he'd... how do guys put it? Pop my cherry? On prom night. That was his plan anyway. But when I found out, I broke up with him and refused to go to prom. He apologized, but it was too late. It destroyed our friendship."
"Well, of course it did," I said. "But still... that sucks."
"Yeah, it does," she agreed. "And then there's Paul. I told you a little about him. What I didn't tell you was that I'd known Paul for years before I started working for his dad. Our dads were good friends who served in the military together. Paul had flirted with me a lot when we were in our teens, and I thought he was cute. Like I said earlier, I would have probably... you know... with him. But he couldn't keep it in his pants long enough to find out. His loss, but it hurt. It shook my faith in guys a little. I really thought he was a good guy, until I found out... from Facebook, of all places... that he wasn't."
"I'm sorry that happened to you," I said sincerely.
"Thanks for the sentiment, Christian," she replied. "Anyway, then there was Jose. Did I tell you that he was one of my best friends in college? We were tight as thieves until our senior year, when I finally agreed to date him. He and Kate and I were like the three musketeers. Always together, always sharing everything. I didn't even know he liked me that way until the summer before our senior year, when he finally worked up the nerve to tell me. I didn't have those kinds of feelings for him, but he was one of my best friends, so I thought I'd give him a chance. Biggest mistake of my life, but I trusted him. He blew my trust to hell."
"So now..." I said tentatively. "I have those assholes to thank for making it difficult for you to trust me?" I asked.
She was quiet for a moment, and I knew she was mulling it over and choosing her words carefully. "Yes, but it's more than that. I'd have my issues either way. There will always be that lingering doubt, that question of whether you like me for me, or if you just want me for sex, and then you'll discard me after I give it up. But then, on top of that, you have your own issues too. And besides, you were my boss. Technically, you still are, since you're still paying me even though I haven't done any work for you in two months."
Now I needed to mull that over. I needed to understand this better. "Ana... what do you mean... about my issues? I mean, you're right, I'm fucked up. But I mean it when I say that you've made me a better man, and I WANT to be a better man for you. You know I'm doing much better since I started therapy, and that therapy is ongoing since I returned home. I'm seeing Flynn again this afternoon. I feel like a new man compared to the one whose life you saved two months ago."
"I worry that I'm not enough for you," she blurted out.
Well, that shocked the hell out of me. How could she think she wasn't enough? She was the perfect one, and I was the one who was fucked up. "Ana, baby, you are more than enough," I tried to assure her. "You are everything."
"That room, Christian," she said. "You're used to a type of... sexual experience... that I can't even imagine ever... I'm so afraid, as it is, that I'm going to have flashbacks of Number Three, and that's just thinking about normal sex. To be restrained… Just, no. I can't do that."
"I don't want to restrain you, Ana," I assured her. "Not any more. I only wanted that when I thought..."
She interrupted me and continued as if she hadn't heard me. "And even if I didn't have that... memory, I still wouldn't understand why any woman would... want that. To be beaten and then fucked like a... prostitute. I know you said they weren't prostitutes, but you treated them like they were. They were your bitches, just like my mother was the bitch of every man who treated her like that. You've admitted it, Christian. You used them. They didn't mean anything to you. It's the very thing that I'm afraid of. What makes me any different from them? Why should I expect to be any different?"
"Ana... you are so different. You're everything to me, sweetheart. You are different from any woman I've ever been with. You're different in every way," I tried to assure her.
"OK, explain that to me," she said. "I mean, other than the fact that you think you're in love with me. I'm talking about me, not you. How am I different?"
"Well, first of all, I don't THINK I'm in love with you. I AM in love with you. That fact alone makes you different from any woman I've ever been with, because I didn't feel anything for any of them. Besides that, your personality is not even remotely close to any of them. You actually HAVE a personality. I'm not saying they didn't... but I never got to know any of them because I only ever saw them as submissives. And I had grown... bored. Nothing about my former life is appealing to me. You're no submissive, baby, and I don't want you to be. I don't want that with you, Ana. I don't want to dominate you, at least not like I ever did with any of them."
"You really don't want to take me into your torture chamber? Not even a little part of you craves... that?" she asked.
"No, not even a little. Ana, that room doesn't even exist anymore," I assured her. "Hell, I nearly killed myself there. Do you really think I wanted to keep that reminder? I'd planned to just close it off. I got Jason and Gail to clear out all the demolished furniture and shit when I was in England. But my therapist in England, Dr. Brooks, made a suggestion that I liked better. I've transformed it into my oasis. I remodeled it into a Zen-like relaxation room. I use it for meditation, and just... being."
"Really?" she asked, sounding surprised.
"I don't want to forget where I was... mentally. How I almost threw everything away. But everything is different now. The room symbolizes the change in me, in my life. In things that matter to me. I learned all the meditation and 'just being' shit during my time in England, and I was skeptical at first, but I've found it to be helpful. That room has become important to me. I've only been using it for a little over a week, but I had a space in England like that, and I need it."
"Will you show me?" she asked.
I wasn't ready for that. "Someday, yes. But for now, I'm taking my therapist's advice and making it a space that's just about me. It centers me and helps me stay where I need to be... mentally. If I make it about you, too, and then you don't... If you decide that you can't... that you don't want to be with me... then I... I don't want to go back to where I was mentally. Not for anything." I only knew how important this was because it's about all I'd been talking about with Flynn in our last session... how I would react if Ana ultimately rejected me.
"Wow, Christian, I'm so happy to hear that. I mean... about you focusing on your health. It's another concern I've had that you just... cleared up."
"What, that I'm obsessed with you?" I asked bluntly. Because yeah, I was and am obsessed with her. It was a common topic of my therapy sessions, and I was learning how to control myself, a new kind of control than I'd known previously as a Dom. That's why I couldn't invite her into my oasis, even though she was already a much bigger part of it than she'd be comfortable knowing. If she were there physically, she'd take over that space in my mind, and I knew it. She dominated every part of me even without having any fucking clue what she was doing. Her innocence was one of the things that drew me most. Oh hell, yeah, I was still obsessed with her; therapy wasn't going to cure me of that, but I wanted more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life to be healthy and to have a healthy relationship with her. I wanted to marry her. I wanted to have a family with her.
"So now, you're admitting that you're obsessed with me?" she asked teasingly.
"I figure, honesty is the only way to get what I really want with you. So, yes, I will admit that I'm working through my obsession with you. Doesn't change the fact that I'm head over heels in love with you and am just waiting for you to agree to be mine. No pressure, dearest Ana. I will wait for you for however long it takes."
"Christian..." she said, and I already knew what her next words would be. I never got very far professing my love to her, but I wasn't going to give up trying.
"No, angel, just listen. I promise, I'm not trying to pressure you. I want you to know... I'm not going anywhere. And Ana, when you do finally agree to be mine, there won't be any pressure for us to have sex, not until you're ready for that too. I want so much more from you than just sex."
"Now you're just full of shit," she said, but there was no fire in her words. She sounded... vulnerable. This was different. But her voice got stronger as she insisted, "You've been wanting to get me into bed since you made that stupid proposition."
"Correction, Ana, I've been wanting to get you into bed since the moment you landed me on my ass at your job interview. But I didn't know you then. Now, I do. Back then, I thought the kind of fucking I did was the only way I could ever do it. But now... I know I'm capable of... more. And I know that you are worthy of... so much more. I no longer have any desire to just fuck you, Ana. What I long for with you is so much more than that. I want to make love to you, to worship your body. And I will wait however long it takes, because I don't have any doubt in my mind that you are worth waiting for."
"Christian," she protested again. Her voice sounded... damn, was she crying? That wasn't my intention, to make her cry. Shit! "I think... I think we'd better... I need to go. I need to finish packing."
"Ana, wait," I said. "I need to... Angel, I want to promise you something, and I really hope you'll give me the honor of saying these words to you. Please, baby?"
She paused, cleared her throat, and asked, still sounding more vulnerable than I'd ever heard her, "What is it, Christian?"
"I promise that I will ALWAYS respect you, Ana. And I will never betray your trust in me. You are not your mother, Ana, and I will never make you feel like those men made you feel about her. In fact, if you'll let me, I'll spend every day for the rest of my life, which hopefully will be a very long time, reminding you of how perfect you are, in every way."
"Shit, Christian," she responded, and now I was certain she was crying. I held my breath, waiting to see if she'd tell me to fuck off, or if she'd finally accept my words. "I need to... I can't talk about this now. We... we obviously have a few things we need to talk about... in person."
"If you want to, angel," I answered. "There's no pressure. To talk about it or to do it. My feelings for you aren't going to change, Ana. I'm not going anywhere."
"OK, goodbye, Christian. I'll see you tomorrow night."
"You will indeed, sweet Ana. I'll meet you at the airport, take Ray home and get him settled in, and then take you home and get you settled in. I can hardly wait to see you."
"Thanks, Christian," she said, and she ended the call.
"I love you, Princess," I told her even though she wasn't on the line anymore.