This isn't at all how I remember it.

Kasumi Goto sat alone, the hard and cold ground all that supported her here. Overhead, smoke mixed with the dark scurrying clouds being chased by the sunrise wrestling its way over the Pacific Ocean. Little fractals of light danced and skittered about along the water. Not even the trees were left to provide her safe harbor. They had been blown over - blown away - by some unnamed shell of a demon; a Reaper, of course. A nation unto itself, and the nations had blotted the sky and colored it a sickly black. Death had arrived, laying siege to everything and everyone.

Including this shrine, it would seem.

Coughing a little - she had refrained from putting on the mask in a fit of stupid stubbornness - Kasumi stared at the object in her hands through blurred vision. They were tears, of course, that blighted her sight. For a whole 15 seconds, she had stood resolute at this place and refused to give in. She had stood, simply watching, trying to understand but unable or unwilling to accept that this was her home now.

What was left of it, anyway.

Indeed, whatever Yokohama, and even Tokyo further in the distance, had been, it was no longer. A smoking, hollowed out ruin of a city. The ruin stretched on in every direction nearly as far as the eye could see. Kasumi had hoped that the Miracle of London would have not been such a singular event; that the miracle had somehow spread across her world like a truly cleansing fire, obliterating the stain and the stench and the rot…

Not yet.

She had found the singed bear on the side of the path as she climbed her way up the mountain. The lifeless form of the little girl that had been its owner stared back at her with the hollow ghastly eyes of the long dead. Not even the scavengers had flown in to defile her corpse. The window leading from Kasumi's senses to her mind clamped down hard at the sight. It refused the sight entry to her consciousness. Instead, Kasumi operated on autopilot as she reached past what she thought was a blue jacket and red tattered mittens. For whatever reason, she had to touch the child, who gazed back at her with her wide staring dead eyes. They were but brown and bloodshot marbles squeezed into the lifeless…

Kasumi had gently, caringly, slid this poor girl's eyelids down. For a momentary lapse of reason, this girl was no longer a corpse. She wasn't cold or dead.

She was asleep; her mind adrift among the open stars.

Bullshit, of course. Kasumi's mind was quick to snap back to attention and remind her of that.

Taking with her the battered bear, she had trudged on, climbing to the shrine near the top of Mount Oyama. She could have easily been dropped off at the summit, but she wanted…no, she needed to climb the steps. By some miracle (one of the few that she'd seen thus far), the path remained navigable and she had managed the climb with little real physical issue.

"Damn it…"

On the four previous occasions that Kasumi Goto had returned here - to what still passed for "home" in the quiet part of her mind that still sounded like the little girl that she'd been - she hadn't bothered to decloak. It was enough to pass through, sight unseen amongst the crowd and the rabble. It was enough to see and hear and smell this place. It was a silly indulgence, but it had been one that she hadn't been able to deny herself. In hindsight, perhaps she should have held off on that fifth.

"Just what the fuck are you doing up here, Catwoman?"

Kasumi hadn't noticed the footfalls that had steadily encroached upon her position. Pulling her hood back, her blank, emotionless expression turned to face the voice that she knew belonged to Jack. The shrill greeting lanced through the cold morning as a smirk twitched through her lips, opening enough to allow the escape of the softest of laughs.

"Hiya, Jack." Kasumi stood up, greeting her with a subtle nod. "I could ask you that question, psychopath." Taking a better look at the biotic woman, she commented further. "A few new scars to match the tats, I see."

Smiling with just a bit too much glee, the biotic with the half-shaved head made a show of looking over both shoulders. She held her right arm up, as if inspecting the long welt of pink, raised skin that curled its way from back to front in an unnervingly straight line. "Yeah, they're hot, right?"

"If you say so."

"Yeah, well, I do. So answer the question, mopey."

What a dick. Kasumi answered sass with sass.

"Oh ya know, just thought I'd check on the homestead while I was here. I spent the last couple of weeks in Europe helping, figured I could use a vacation."

"Uh-huh. If you say so." Jack stood next to her, surveying the endless sea of destruction. "So, 'homestead', right?"

Kasumi actually laughed.

"Yeah, I'm not even sure why I came back. I used to visit every few years, just to see how high the pile of shit had gotten. But as you can see, no more pile."

"Hmph. Well, not gonna lie, it's still shit." Glancing to what Kasumi still held, she inquired further. "So, um, what's with the bear?" Jack's voice, for all of its copious amounts of venom, vitriol, and maddening profanity, held something akin to a quiet wonder now.

The thief's eyes widened. Talking to Jack had actually made her forget it was there. "Oh this? Um…I found it on the way up here…there was a girl -"

The biotic frowned, huffing a breath as she looked to the ground. "Oh, her. Yeah, I, uh, saw her too."

For a moment there was only the quiet. Kasumi watched her smoky breath in front of her, illuminated by the chilly air.

"You know I used to have one?"

"A what? A fucking toy? Do you want a congratulations?"

Kasumi's first instinct was to strike back - an insult for an insult - but decided against it.

Something Shep had said once when they were retreating from a whole room of Blue Suns still stuck in her mind.

"Heh, no. I mean that I used to have a toy like this. I was just a kid - a small one at that. Before my mother died."

The biotic teacher showed her understanding by way of the hollow little laugh that she released in response. "That sucks. I didn't even know my parents."

Frowning, Kasumi still watched the ground, her foot occasionally poking at the shoots of grass that were already reestablishing their foothold on this place. Jack surprised her with another inquiry.

"So what did you do? After, I mean. We all know what happened to me." The woman almost growled. "Fucking Cerberus…"

"Did you know Shep was in a gang when he was a kid?" Evasive, but after all: that was just her style.

"Who, Boy Scout?"

"Mmhmm. 'The Reds' or something like that. He never really talked about it."

Jack remained quiet.

"Looks like we have that in common, too, I guess."

The former convict looked at her a little sideways. "So what - did he sweet talk his way out?"

Kasumi only flashed a little smirk. "I don't know the answer to that one. Tali would, but that was one of the few topics that she refused to discuss when it came to Shep. I stopped asking after the first 'no'. My guess is that he wasn't very diplomatic about it. It's amazing really."

"What is?"

The thief replied with a coy, very Shepard-like smirk. "How completely, and stunningly, fucked up we all are."

For a moment, there was silence again. It was broken by Jack's small, snorting laugh that soon became louder and more pronounced. Quickly, it was followed by its more boisterous and humored kin that consumed them both.

With her cheeks flushed and a stray tear running down her face, Jack still did not relent. "So Shepard was in a gang. Not all that surprising, I guess. You don't get that kind of track record without something like that. But what the fuck was your point?"

Kasumi rolled her eyes. "That we're all more alike than we sometimes think we are…I think." Kasumi chuckled to herself as she could see the ex-con waving a finger idly as she repeated what Kasumi had said. "I left my ichidan after the, uh, oyabun required certain 'favors' if I was to move up in their ranks."

Jack quirked an eyebrow but didn't bother to ask for a translation. She had enough experience to draw the connecting lines herself. "Favors, huh? So how did you -"

"I disappeared."

Jack gave her an odd-angled little nod at the simplicity of the answer. It was Kasumi. What more needed saying?

"Ever since then, I've only felt at home with two people. One of them is dead, and the other is an obtuse, idiot of a -"

Jack cut her off with an annoyed wave of her hand. "All right, fine. So this isn't 'home' or whatever. So then why the fuck are you still here, Catwoman?"

Kasumi pulled her hood back, and for the first time Jack actually saw the woman. For the briefest of moments, her eyes widened and the corners of her mouth tried to tug themselves into a smirk. "I guess I just wanted to see this place one last time."

With no explanation or warning, Jack leapt to her feet, hands brushing her ass to wipe off the stray grass and dirt that had collected there. She extended a hand to the other woman. "Well, good. You saw it - it's a fucking smoking pile of shit. One we can't do much for. So are you coming with or not, mopey?"

Shaking her head with a little chuckle, she allowed herself to be hoisted up. "Coming with?"

"Yeah, 'coming with'. Me and my little band of biotics are leaving, and I wanted to see if you would join in on the fun."

"Um, where exactly are you going?"

Jack stood tall, tatted and scarred arms crossed in front of her. "That's the best part." Ever evasive, Kasumi wasn't entirely sure she liked this particular role reversal. Jack's mouth formed a mischievous grin. "Say Cat, how do you feel about envirosuits?"

"What the hell do you mean, it's 'indisposed'? On whose order? Mmhmm…well here's my order: I need that ship back here, and I need it yesterday!" He slammed the connection shut before leaning heavily on the desk that was nominally his.

"Spirits…what the hell was I thinking?"

Garrus Vakarian was decidedly not having a good day. The steady hum of activity gurgled around him in his little "command center" that Primarch Victus had been so kind to "gift" him with here in the middle of the gradually reforming city of Practis. Before the war, it had been something of a port of relaxation and commerce; now it was a center of command, communication and water-based transport. And Garrus was quickly losing his patience with everything and everyone. It wasn't entirely the result of bureaucrats being bureaucrats (at least not by itself). Instead, he now found himself also victimized by raw, unadulterated incompetence in conjunction with the bureaucrats. There was one thing (well, one of many, if he was honest) that he hadn't considered when he'd decided to help Victus - that by definition, those that would remain after the war was won would invariably not be the best minds in the galaxy. Those minds were likely already dead. Instead, those that were left were…dedicated, at least. Couple that with the aforementioned bureaucratic bullshit, and well?

He was pretty sure that Shepard would be laughing off his ass at him.

"Or something like that…"

Another datapad was tossed casually on his station by a passing aide. Garrus didn't even know his name, nor did he bother to look up.

Closing his eyes and with a stubborn and tired shake of his head, the turian stood upright. He heard the short chime of a new message on his omnitool. Timing being a funny fickle thing, it was from Shepard.

Garrus -

I'm sure you're busy as all hell, so read this at your convenience, Big Guy. Tali and I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing. Haven't heard from you in a bit, but like I said - I'm sure Victus has your ass running around like a fucking crazy person.

Any luck with your family? I know it's been a while, but you turians are tough as fuck. They could still be out there.

Ashley would pray, I can only hope. But I might join her in that if it'll help.

As for us, things are good on our end. Tali is enjoying her work as a quasi-admiral. She's worn out most days, but that's only because she refuses to stay hands-off. Big surprise, right? You can take the quarian out of engineering, but not the engineer out of the quarian. Not sure if that makes sense. But even so - we have time together now. Garrus…I can't say this enough, but…thank you for being there for her. For me. It means more than I can ever say, it really does. And yes, the next time your big bony ass gets a chance, get out here and visit us, damn it. I keep sending you these sappy messages so you'll have plenty of ammo to roast me with. I'm hoping I'll be strong enough to handle a sniper rifle soon. Doc says it's not likely I can ever really handle the kick of one again, but I've been told I couldn't do a lot of things. Because you owe me a rematch, you asshole.

In other news, Liara is doing good out here. Not sure if you two have been in touch, but I know she can sometimes be a little "hard to reach". She calls regularly, and she's teaching Tali to play that keyboard of hers. You know, it's funny. She's not very good at it (and she's really only slightly better on her tenir, but I reckon that'll come back to her in time) but man, it makes me so happy that she can do this. That I can groan a little about something like that, you know? It kinda feels "normal".

Is it weird that I sometimes feel guilty about that?

Garrus actually smiled at Shepard's admission just the same. It was good that his friend was finally getting a chance to relax, to heal…maybe even to live.

"You better stop thinking that way, you ugly bastard. I'll kick your ass personally," he muttered quietly to himself.

One more thing: Have you heard from K? I haven't, and Tali hasn't either. She's a smart girl and can take care of herself, but…you know. We worry.

Anyway, call when you can.

The turian sighed. He had heard nothing either, and he felt helpless, guilty, and a little hurt in equal measure. He knew that he'd fucked up - royally - but he'd held out hope that it was just…a passing thing. Three weeks after their run to the Array and he'd heard fuck all. Not even a message, let alone an actual call - and it's not like a good portion of the comm buoy network wasn't back up.

With a shake of his head, he blew out a tired breath. "Ah, fuck it. You've got enough to worry about."

"What was that, Vakarian?"

Wide-eyed, Garrus turned on his heel, talons planted firmly at his side. "Primarch, I wasn't expecting you for another…" he hastily checked his omnitool, heart racing in anticipation of his clearly forgotten meeting with Palaven's de facto leader. "I was just, uh, talking to myself. Got a lot going on, sir."

Victus rested a hand on his shoulder. "Vakarian, calm down. This is an unscheduled visit. And since I am well-aware of just how busy you are, I will not take much of your time. So what's the latest?"

The man formerly known as Archangel inhaled deeply before leading Victus to the central display. He brought up a long list of figures.

"Well, we have a number of refugee camps set up and are reasonably well-supplied to keep everyone fed and taken care of. The Alliance colonies that are getting back on their feet are certainly helping with that, and the quarians continue to be indispensable in terms of transportation and logistics."

"What about the actual rebuilding efforts?"

For all of Victus's military prowess and bravado, Garrus was dismayed at how quickly the man was starting to sound like a fucking politician.

Garrus quirked an eyebrow. "Rebuilding? We're not really doing that yet. My focus has been on saving lives, Primarch. The camps are doing the job, and some of the smaller cities and towns are at least starting to give us basic support. The big cities are a lost cause right now. There's too much destruction and not enough bodies. Although…" Garrus swept a hand across the display, flipping through a few images of data. When he stopped he continued. "You're probably thinking of London on Earth. I think that was a…special case. It was right after the battle and emotions were high, so everyone wanted to focus a lot of strength on that city. I believe the politicians would have called it a 'morale boost'."

Victus scoffed. "But what about -"

Garrus shook his head dismissively. "Us?" He zoomed in on the details that showed on the display. "We're getting that help now. A lot of resources have begun to get shifted in our direction, many of those from the Alliance now. Hell, even the salarians are starting to pitch in, and I've gotten reports that the rachni are showing up in numbers, too. In the end, we had to start somewhere and we couldn't be everywhere at once."

"Hmmm. I know that. I hate that -"

Garrus omnitool beeped again. Torn by uncertainty, he looked at Victus pleadingly. With a twitch, the de facto turian leader bid him leave.

"I'll talk to you later, Vakarian. I have a meeting anyway. And don't forget to stop by later. We always appreciate the company."

"All right, Primarch. I'll, uh, consider it. But you know there's a lot to do." He grimaced at his nonchalance in effectively turning down the Primarch's offer. "Anyway, you know where I'll be."

Opening the priority message, he read that a new transport from Earth had just arrived.

He double-checked the incoming schedule, verifying the new arrival against the data that he'd been provided.

"Sure hope they brought their envirosuits…" he muttered as he chanced a glance outside to see the stark light crashing through Palaven's atmosphere. Immediately, he checked their stock of human-fitted suits, just in case they'd left Earth without them. It was unlikely, but you know…these things happened from time to time.

"Hey, Ass Stick!"

The taunt had come from behind him, and upon later reflection, he would not have been able to remember what his face was doing at the time. Garrus eventually tossed a surprised expression at the suited figure that stood in the doorway. Where the fuck had she come from? The owner of the voice had her weight rested in one leg, hands planted on her hips. There were five gloved fingers on each.

Garrus asked first, cocking his head curiously. "What the…Jack?"

First, she narrowed her eyes - what the fuck? Then she looked at herself, chuckling. "Oh. Yeah, it's me, ya dick. I don't quite have Bucket's hips. Besides, I can't deal with this planet like you can. A little too much radiation, so I'm told." Frowning, she tugged a little at the suit near her hips. "Bunches a little at the crotch, though."

But that was essentially the end of the pleasantries. Jack was here on business, it seemed, and she meant to get to it. A few minutes later, Garrus sent Jack, as well as her team, to the sub-commander who would get the newcomers oriented and give them their orders.

Surrounded by the relative silence, Garrus leaned over the workstation again and was already lost in thought. Silently, he hoped for some guidance from the Spirits, and maybe a little luck if Shepard didn't mind sharing some. He didn't hear the soft footfalls approach him from behind. When the tentative hand landed softly on his shoulder and squeezed, he did not flinch in surprise at the five fingers he felt there. He blew out a long, shuddering breath. How had he known?

It was a shock to his system - like so many nerve endings and cells in his brain firing off at once. He knew precisely who those fingers belonged to, and it was the only woman who had caused his mind to act quite this way. A thousand memories flashed by, each screaming and shoving the other aside for his singular attention.

"We call it origami. It's…like a folded sculpture. See?"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, distrust painted on her face. "Wait - you meditate? Like, 'buddhist' meditate?"

"That's not fair! You know I have to get…up close and personal…in my line of work."

"I…I understand. But if we don't…survive this thing, just know that I -"

Was he really going to get yet another chance?

"Hiya, G."

As he turned, he couldn't help but wonder if this was why Jack had been so quick to leave.

When he'd turned to her, Kasumi had gasped slightly as he'd whispered her name. Immediately, he'd informed the sub-commander that he was going to be indisposed, and he'd led her to his office/quarters deeper inside the facility, allowing her to unseal the helmet.

It was a simple room - Tali would have been right at home in its sparseness - with few possessions.

"Ah, much better," Kasumi giggled then sighed as she shook her head, allowing her hair to fall freely around her. She tugged off her gloves as well, reaching for Garrus's claw-tipped hands.

They sat across from each other, both now a little tentative. Here they were, back to square one.

Again.

As far as Garrus was concerned, he'd happily take "square one" over no squares at all.

"So, uh, you came back."

Feeling the awkwardness of this reunion, Kasumi couldn't help but smirk. "Yes, I did."

She had buried her initial response - "You didn't expect me to?" - under the weight of her better judgment. To be fair, she had not given anyone reason to think that she would have. But here she was, with Garrus while using her "better judgment".

As for her opposite number, his pulse was loud in his head. Did he dare ask the obvious question? There was a part of him that dared not - to take his good fortune and thank whatever gods would listen for its return. But he couldn't leave the question unasked. He had to know. "Kasumi, not that I'm complaining, but why?"

It was the thief's turn to blow out a breath. "Well, Liara talked to me after the wedding." She let that sink in, realizing that he would have probably known this by now anyway. "Which I'm sure you know by now. And she told me some things that I needed to hear." Without warning, she grasped his hands tightly. When she spoke, there was an earnestness to her voice that had helped to draw him to her in the first place. "You need to know something, G. Whether or not you said what you…did…I would have needed to leave anyway, I think. For me. I needed to learn a few things about myself, because, well…I've changed a little bit," she plowed through the surprise on his face, continuing to speak in earnest. "The war…what I saw…what we all saw…we're a little different now. And I needed to…" she sighed, annoyed that she couldn't articulate this the way she wanted to. "I went back to Earth. There was something I needed to see, so I could be sure."

There was an intimate pause, with Garrus leaving the next question unasked. Kasumi provided the answer anyway.

"I had to go home."

Finally able to speak, he only conveyed that he didn't understand. "Home? Where?"

She giggled a little. He couldn't have known. "Well, I went back to Japan, you know, the country where I'm from?" He nodded, remembering. She rolled her eyes, mocking herself. "It was kinda stupid, actually."

Garrus disagreed, beginning to get a sense for what had bothered her so much. "Oh I doubt it. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm cornering the market on that." He paused, wearing a question. "Did I get it right?" Relief flooded him when he saw her smile - it was the first genuine smile directed at him since before he'd forced their split before the war. The feeling it gave him was one he'd not felt in an equal length of time.

"Yeah, ya did. I'm actually a little proud. But anyway - all I really found was a…wreck. And maybe a little bit of truth." She watched him carefully, trying to determine if Garrus was able to follow along. There was no couch in the sparse room, so instead she shuffled her chair next to his. She leaned against his shoulder before continuing. "So I went back home, just to realize that it wasn't home anymore." Kasumi frowned slightly. "Like it hadn't been for a long time. I guess I just needed to see it one more time. To be sure."

In silence they sat, and it felt…if not comfortable, it was at least not uncomfortable.

Kasumi continued, shifting her one-sided conversation to other matters.

"Garrus (he noted the use of his full name now), I want you to know that you still could have been honest with me - really honest - about why you had to go." She was surprised to see that he wore a face that betrayed absolutely zero relief. She reached a hand to it, caressing his cheek.

His mind coiled around his next words. To unleash, or to hide?

"That, uh, wasn't the impression that I'd gotten from you. And…and I didn't think that you were in any shape to - no that's not right." He rubbed his forehead in exasperation before his eyes hugged hers. "I didn't think that me wanting to try to…try to do all of this was something that you were ready to…sacrifice more of yourself for."

Unleashed it was, then.

While the acrid feeling in his throat was gone, his stomach now swirled in anticipation of her surely venomous response. After all, he had dared to make such an assumption of her, and in so doing had branded her with so much pain. It was a pain that she certainly hadn't deserved.

As for Kasumi, she could scarcely believe what he'd just said. That disbelief lasted for about two seconds before memory caught up to appraisal and she recalled her demeanor during their entire time on Rannoch. She had been so damn adamant about starting over - "trying something new" - that of course he would have been convinced that he wouldn't have stood a chance.

If she could have slapped herself, she would have.

He managed to bring his own hand to meet hers. Heart pounding, he continued with this revealing journey by way of one-sided conversation. "But this…this whatever it is that I'm doing here…" If Shepard thought he couldn't talk to women before, he'd love how well this was going. "You know, I was never very good at taking orders. Couldn't at C-Sec, couldn't have even if I'd been a Spectre."

With a knowing smirk, she interrupted him. "Well, I know for a fact that's not true. I seem to recall a number of times when you were quite good at…taking orders." She lowered his hand to her thigh, just to see his eyes bulge, then soften within the blanket of the familiar.

Giving her thigh a soft squeeze, he lowered his head slightly as he continued. "Spirits only know what possessed me to think I could do it now. And to think that the one time I tried to be that guy - you know, the 'good turian' - I almost paid for it - should have paid for it - with you." There was a pause as he found her soft eyes. "I'm sorry."

There were moments after his confession during which Kasumi couldn't recall what she had thought. She was at first stunned by it - taken aback by its directness. Then she was overcome with a wave of, if not appreciation, then perhaps a touch of regret that he had somehow thought that it would have been better to have left her in that fashion. It only reinforced for her the notion that she was not entirely guilt free in all this. But finally, Kasumi couldn't help but smile. "G, look - it's okay. I don't think I helped matters. Maybe I came on a little strong, huh? Like that cologne you wore that one time we went to that club on Illium. You remember?"

He couldn't help but smirk. "Yeah, I remember. 'Shattered Star' or something, right? I had no idea that it would have affected volus quite so strongly."

The woman snorted and then laughed loudly. "G, she was practically grinding on your leg!"

"Yeah, I think I sometimes get this weird sensation in my leg like she's still there. Is that normal, do you think?" He smiled - no, he grinned - for the first time in…well, a while, he supposed. "But if memory serves, you weren't exactly complaining later."

In mock embarrassment, she pressed her hand to her suited chest. "Moi? Are you accusing this fair maiden of being something other than completely virtuous when it comes to particularly obtuse but sweet and charming alien men?"

He gently nudged her side. "Well, it's not like I don't have a thing for human women who live a little dangerously and have a certain level of flexibility."

Good heavens…Kasumi was blushing. And this - this - felt refreshing. She thought that it felt the way that it used to.

Before everything went to shit.

But there was still something that she needed to say.

"Garrus, not to keep coming back to it, but…it sure sounded like you had other things on your mind. You know, before." He couldn't help but be mildly surprised. "They were family things. Which," she added with a sad little smirk as she punched his shoulder with a touch of playfulness, "you could have told me about."

"You said before that I could have been honest with you, and now…" Pieces of a puzzle were coming together. "You knew, didn't you."

"Yes, I knew. Tali's not the only one who can hack an omnitool."

"So you -"

"Yeah. Not when you first…told me. But after. And…I wasn't going to just say it to you. I thought that if you wanted to tell me the truth, you would have. Besides, pretty sure I've kept secrets of my own. You know, thief and all that. But, can we not do this anymore? The whole 'secrets' thing?"

He wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. "Yeah, that's a fair request." He kissed the top of her head, relieved to feel her lean into it. "And I'll be happy to oblige it."

Kasumi faced him, pausing for a moment as they simply shared in each other's eyes.

The kiss they shared then was simple confirmation that maybe things would be all right between them now.