"Sean Astin."
"Who the fuck is that?"
"The kid from the Goonies? We went and saw it last summer, c'mon Eds."
Kate devolved into a fit of giggles, unable to take the heavy sigh of indignation he gave her along with his barely-threatening side eye.
"Jesus Christ, which one- You know what, pass." Falling onto his back, Eddie rapped his knuckles against the wooden floor beneath them, the hard metal of his rings sending an echo of vibrations she felt beneath her palms.
It didn't take long for her to think of an easier name, Kate allowing her thoughtful humming to trail into it with a small smile.
"Mel Brooks."
"The Muppet Movie."
"That's the first one you thought of? Shit, wait- Steve Martin."
"You can't be serious."
"He's the waiter, you think I'm lying?"
"No, I just- Fine! Fuck, uh-"
Eddie pressed both palms into his eye sockets, thinking for a long moment before clapping his hands together with a wide smile.
"Twilight Theater!"
"...I give." Cursing Wayne Munson's affliction for comedy specials, Kate shifted herself until her feet dangled over the edge of the water with a sigh. "Who else is in that?"
"Shelley Duvall."
"Shit."
Falling back onto the floor beside him, Kate allowed them to drift into comfortable silence. She wasn't exactly sure how many hours had passed since the kids and Steve had left them once again, only getting a brief update from Dustin over the walkie sometime in the afternoon. They'd run through her gambit of time-killers, from their half-assed game of Eye-Spy down to the games she'd learned from their high school theater club, and the sun was just barely beginning to set.
She resisted the urge to lean over, take Eddie's arm and twist his wrist so she could see what time it was. Instead, she turned her head as the silence became a playground for her inner thoughts to turn intrusive, watching as the gentle breeze shifted the hair that splayed out around Eddie's head just slightly and tried to ignore the twisting that began to tighten her throat. He looked so tired, even without the worried indents he'd been carving into the space between his brows. The darkness that had been cast over them stole his normal, sunshine-through-storm-clouds disposition, sucking the color from his skin and pushing in the hollows under his eyes to a deeper purple than he'd ever worn before. Was she really helping, or was she just sucking whatever energy he'd have otherwise and making this nightmare worse for him?
"Eddie?"
He hummed in response, lifting just slightly to avoid catching his hair beneath his shoulder and turning his head to look towards her.
"Do you-" Kate instantly regretted bothering him, returning to looking at the ceiling. "Nevermind. Ignore me."
The floorboards creaked beside her and Eddie was suddenly above her, propped on his elbows and leaning into her peripherals.
"Not happening sweetheart, tell me."
Kate couldn't avoid his gaze, not when it was so warm with concern. Worrying her lip between her teeth for a moment, she watched as his eyes darted across her face, that line appearing between his brows once again.
Just get it over with, she thought, he's not going to leave it now.
"Do you want me here?"
"What kind of fuckin' question is that?" The line deepened as his face twisted in confusion, Eddie fully rolling over onto his stomach to invade her personal space. "You've not left me alone since, like, sophomore year. I'd be more worried if you hadn't shown up."
That was a stab to the already tender portions of her psyche, even if she knew that he'd meant it as a joke. His smile dropped, or at least, she thought it did. It was hard to tell when she was looking at him from below, Kate having to piece together his expression and flip it around within her mind to read him properly. The only thing that didn't change in her upside down view was that he was beautiful, even as he seemed to panic and stuttered as he tried to explain himself.
"Shit, I'm kidding, I didn't mean it like-" His head dropped beside her own, his heavy sigh blowing the stray hairs that had fallen from her ponytail to tickle at her neck. When he lifted it again, tossing the curls that had fallen around his shoulders out of his face, she wanted to sink into the boards below her. He was utterly serious as he looked down on her again, not letting her look away as her cheeks burned from his sincerity. "Goddammit, look- Of course I don't want you tangled up in all of this- uh, this fuckin' nightmare, but if anyone was going to get themselves into this mess with me, I'm glad it's you"
She had to look away from him, to stop focusing on the dimples that pushed into his cheeks as he gave her a somber smile. The tapping of his rings beside her head became her focus again, watching as Eddie patted out a rhythm against the floor. He was probably waiting for her to answer, but she was at a loss for words.
No, that wasn't true.
There were a hundred things she could say, but none she dared mention now, even if she had any breath left in her to speak.
"...And, honestly, it would be you that would bully Dustin into letting you come along." Eddie finally broke the silence, Kate's head turning sharply to look up at him.
"I didn't-"
"Uh-huh, whatever, he told me when I got on his ass about getting you involved."
She gaped at him for a moment, watching him become more self-assured the longer her shocked silence went on. It wasn't until his smile grew wider in that adorably cocky way, the same one that appeared every time someone fell into one of his traps during a campaign, that she broke. Kate began to giggle, quickly covering her mouth to attempt to silence her outburst. She heard Eddie fall back down beside her with muffled laughter of his own. Kate turned to watch as he pressed his lips into a hard line, attempting to keep quiet, and that only made it worse. Covering her face entirely, she had to resort to holding her breath to kill her giggles, not daring to look at him again until they'd achieved at least a minute of uninterrupted silence.
Finally, when all that was left of their outburst was their heavy breathing, she chanced another glance in his direction.
Eddie lay beside her, the slightest of smiles pulling at the corners of his lips. Eyes closed to the world, he finally looked peaceful, relaxed as his fingers drummed lightly against his stomach. Suddenly, he looked so much younger than he had just minutes ago, and she was struck with an incredibly sentimental case of deja-vu. They'd been here before, or at least, they'd been like this before. Not laying in the floor of Rick's boathouse hiding from the law, that was an entirely new experience for the both of them as far as she knew, but laying together, facing opposite directions, falling in and out of comfortable silences and occasionally crumpling into fits of laughter; that was familiar.
Stupidly, she found herself staring at his lips, watching as they parted when he exhauled heavily and sank further into what she hoped was a state of relaxation . Perhaps it was the water that lapped against the wooden floor beneath them lulling her into a meditative state, but she felt herself begin to calm, an impressive feat without the helping hand of marijuana. Her mind wandered, drifting away down aimless pathways and turning sharply away from any that seemed too dark to find her way out of, until it found that familiarity in a memory and ran with it.
A sixteen year old Eddie, now legally able to drive and ready to torment the streets of Hawkins with his newfound power, had decided in his barely blazed haze that they should take advantage of the dwindling good weather and escape the confines of her living room. The two of them had loaded up anything they could have possibly needed within the hour, raiding her kitchen and tossing the contents of the linen closet into the back of the van.
He'd shot down her suggestion, shouted over the tops of the snack aisle of 7-11, that they drop by Gareth or Jeff's house to see if they wanted to come along with a short laugh and a "No kids allowed, not today." mumbled around the candy bar held between his teeth.
She'd trusted his sly smile when she'd questioned where they were going, so Kate had chosen to pass the time it took to get there by shuffling through their cassette tapes and bothering him every few minutes just to listen to the exasperated sigh he'd started to give her in lew of an answer. Eventually, he grew tired of her, his voice rising into that whiny quality he only hit whenever he was genuinely irritated .
"Are we there yet?"
"Jesus fuckin- No! I will turn this fucker around if you don't stop it, and pick some damn music."
"Yes, sir."
Eddie's jaw had clenched at her sarcasm, but he kept quiet the rest of the way. She'd worried for a moment whether she'd actually pissed him off, but the mood shifted as soon she'd put her chosen cassette into the tape deck and twisted the volume as far as it would go. They'd bounced along to the music all the way down the barely there road he'd taken down to the water's edge, Kate pausing the reckless thrashing of her then-dark hair when Lover's Lake appeared through the trees. He'd parked just beyond the treeline, setting up a base for them while Kate wandered down the wooden dock that jutted out into the water, slipping off her sneakers to dip a toe into the lake. Too cold to swim, as they'd expected, but still pleasant when they'd kicked off their shoes and dropped their feet into the water to watch the sunset after an afternoon spent reading by the lakeside, wandering the forest while Eddie discussed the finer details of D&D strategy, and snacking their way through the backpack full of food they'd collected from her mother's pantry.
They'd ended up on the top of his van, listening to the remainder of their fire crackle away while they looked at the stars, Kate pointing out the few constellations she knew as they appeared between the thick cloud cover that had begun to form. They'd been positioned something like they were now, sprawled out across a tattered blanket facing different directions, shoulders inches apart and their heads resting on pillows they'd stolen off her mothers couch while she prattled away about the heroes and gods that gave the stars their namesake. Eventually her knowledge had run thin, the two of them sinking into pleasant silence. Eddie dropped off the side of the van at some point, the sounds of shuffling beneath her suddenly drowned out by the surge of music when he'd put the keys back in the ignition to start the radio and his howling laughter at the screech of surprise she'd let out. He'd returned moments later, hauling himself up the back of the van with a baggie between his teeth. Setting a can of soda beside her still lounging form before sitting beside her, Eddie set to rolling them a fresh joint while one of her favorite tapes played in the background.
"I grab my things and make a run. On my way out, another one
Would like to know, before I stop.
Did I make it or did I flop… "
She'd turned to watch him, her eyes lingering on his fingers as he worked and cursing herself when her mind began to wander dangerously. The first thing that came to mind among the frantic frenzy of feelings was what came out of her mouth, Kate stumbling over the stupid rush of hormones that settled deep into her gut and conjured images she'd never dare describing, not then and not now, to start a conversation that would hopefully distract her.
"I heard that Kyle is finally able to play again."
"Who?" Eddie barely looked up, glancing at her from under his mess of curls before he licked his fingers and returned his attention to the paper sitting on his thigh.
"Kyle, you know, the guy whose fingers you slammed in a locker."
"Oh, him."
Kate twisted herself to see him better, her brow furrowed at the flat quality his voice had taken on.
"You never told me what he said," She watched as a sigh sunk his shoulders, Eddie finishing rolling and setting his supplies aside. "Must have been pretty bad for you to break his fingers."
Eddie stared at her for what felt like forever, despite it only lasting a single verse of the song that played from below.
"You stand in front of the band with all those scarves in your hands.
I see you play imaginary guitars, you people shaking your heads right till the end of the set.
You really turn me on wherever we are… "
"He was telling everyone that he'd seen your tits."
Kate still hadn't figured out why that had sent a thrill down her spine, her teenage self sputtering as her brain scrambled itself trying to figure out whether to be furious or embarrassed. Luckily, it had been too dark for him to notice her ears begin to turn red, Eddie passing her the lit joint without a word. She took a bigger hit than she normally would, holding the smoke in her lungs until they burned and blowing it out through her nose with a heavy side. The paper was nearly burned out by the time he'd spoken again, pausing the twisting of the newest addition to his wardrobe around his fingers to take it back from her. Silver reflected the embers across his knuckles, casting shadows across the skull's face as he took a slow breath and released it with a question.
"Please tell me you never kissed that asshole."
"You know what they say about trumpet players." Kate said, even though the joke turned sour before it had even left her mouth. She opened her neglected soda to wash it down, nearly choking on the thick flavor of vanilla cola when she'd caught Eddie's disgusted expression.
"Very fucking funny."
Once she'd stopped giggling, she'd hauled herself into a sitting position so she could lean forward and take the final hit of the dying joint from between his fingers, blowing her freshly-chopped bangs out of her eyes and bumping her nose into his knuckles when she leaned too far forward. Her normal plan of picking a spot on his chest and gluing her eyes to it to avoid the mistake of looking him in the eye when he did this didn't work as well this time, not when the bagging neck of his t-shirt showed the indents of his collarbone and the gentle dip of his chest beneath when he leaned forward.
"I never kissed him, but that wasn't without him trying." She'd tried desperately to keep the conversation on track, if just to keep herself from feeling like a total creep for ogling her best friend.
"Thank fucking Christ."
The soft threat of thunder chased them down into the van soon after, Eddie kicking out the tiny flames that still flickered in their campfire while Kate changed into one of her baggiest t-shirts and the pair of sweatpants she'd snatched from her brother's clean laundry. He'd simply kicked out of his jeans and tossed his dirty shirt into the driver's seat, tugging on a shirt he'd long chopped the sleeves off of while Kate buried her nose into the book they were supposed to be reading for English class.
The soft pattern of rain punctuated the second bout of silence that fell over them, broken by the flicking of a lighter as Eddie lit up again and passed it to her. The quiet had her mind racing, the words on the page blurring as the effects of their second joint took effect. Sick of peering over the top of her novel to watch the forming muscles in Eddie's arm shift as he erased something from his notebook, Kate crawled into the front seat to reflip the tape and rewind it to what was undoubtedly, the best part.
"Girl, it's been a long time that we've been apart, much too long for a man who needs love
I miss you since I've been away… "
His head had turned at the guitar riff that marked the song's beginning, rolling his eyes fondly and passing her the joint he'd held between his lips once she'd gotten settled again. She'd stared too long at how he mouthed something to himself, her mind freely flowing back towards their early conversation as he worried his lip between his teeth while he read over his own scribbling.
"...Hey Eddie?"
Humming in response, Eddie had let go of his lip with a soft pop, and her mind blanked as she became fixated on its gentle swelling and the slickness that caught the dim light as he leaned back into the pile of pillows they'd created.. Another hit didn't help calm the scrambled nerves that tightened beneath her skin, but the motion calmed her enough for her to ask the question that'd been eating away at her.
"Have you ever kissed a girl?"
His pencil rolled off his lap as he turned to her, clacking against the hard floor of the van that peeked out between the blankets they'd thrown across it. Dark eyes stared blankly at her, Eddie reaching out blindly to take the joint she passed his way. He'd ignored it completely once he managed to grab it, defaulting to holding it like he would a cigarette as his hand dropped to rest against his knee.
"...Yeah, a couple of times, why?"
"Just curious." Kate replied, shrugging her shoulders in a sluggish way that she hoped was convincing.
Eddie noticed the ashes threatening to tumble against the bare skin of his calf just in time, cursing quietly to himself as he rushed to knock them out of the open back door. Swallowing her giggling, Kate tossed her book into the side of the van with a satisfying thunk before hauling herself into a sitting position. Eddie shifted beside her, crossing his legs and setting down his notebook on top of her discarded novel as he took a long, contemplative hit before blowing the smoke through his nose.
"...have you, uh, have you ever-?"
He'd run a hand through his hair, twisting his fingers into the strands before following after her as she dragged herself to hang her legs out of the backdoor, wanting to feel the rain on her skin one last time before she died from embarrassment. Reaching out into the darkness, she twisted her fingers among the raindrops that battered against the vans ceiling and rippled the lake a few yards away and hoped it would wash the heat from her skin.
"No, never. Lame, right?" She'd been grateful that her voice was so soft among the mix of music and rainfall, hoping it would hide how flat her facade of nonchalance was.
Eddie had kicked up a leg onto the bumper beside her, setting his chin on his knee. She couldn't help but stare at him, watching this boy in nothing but boxers and an oversized Aerosmith t-shirt stare at the joint he'd been hogging like it didn't belong there. He'd passed it to her after ashing it again, coughing into the crook of his arm and turning himself to face her.
"...It's not that big a deal, I mean- Movies and shit make it seem like this big event but really it's just smashing your face into someone else's face."
The hit she'd taken released too soon, her sputtering laugh seemingly contagious. Eddie's grin stirred those fluttery feelings in her stomach again, and Kate had taken another long inhale of smoke with the hope that her high it would make it go away.
It didn't, it never did.
"I guess so, it's just kinda… embarrassing? I don't know-" She'd waved off the last of the joint when he offered it to her, not able to take another dose of the Munson charisma alongside their current conversation.
"I don't want my feelings restrained.
Oh babe, I just need you like never before… "
The music wasn't helping, that was for sure.
"We could, uh- Fuck." Eddie nursed the last of it himself before tossing the butt out into the darkness. "We could kiss."
What?
"What?"
She truly hadn't known if she'd twisted his words around in her head or if Eddie had said exactly what she'd been day-dreaming about since that fateful night at Hellfire. Either way, she'd expected him to laugh it off once she'd called him out on it.
"I could, uh, I mean- I could kiss you." Eddie mumbled, twisting his curls between his fingers and tugging them in front of his face. "Just, ya know, to get it over with- If you want, you totally don't have to, it's just a suggestion."
Kate was sure she'd heard a dial tone echoing inside her own skull, staring at him while she dug her nails into the underside of her thigh to make sure this was real and waited for her brain to reboot.
"Okay! I mean-" She'd been too loud, too eager, and even now it turned her stomach with embarrassment. Kate had been convinced she was going to die that night, if not from embarrassment, then from her heart giving out at the prospect of kissing Eddie Munson. "I mean, uh, that's a good idea, just to get it over with."
Luckily, she'd survived this and many other frustrating encounters with the boy that had twisted his fingers into her heart strings pulled until she was too wound too tightly to breathe.
Breathing was exactly the thing she struggled with, both now as she looked back on this small blip where their friendship began to blur while the twenty year old Eddie's lips mouthed the lyrics to whatever song was playing in his head inches from her cheek, and then as she'd watched the not quite filled out yet Eddie shift himself closer to her with a confident planting of palms against the floor of his van.
She really didn't know what she expected; Kate's only perception of what kissing was supposed to be like molded by movies, the cheesy romance novels she skimmed in the back corners of bookstores, and the one time she'd sat in front of a couple that was most certainly not watching the movie at the theater.
Kate certainly hadn't expected Eddie to pause his momentum just shy of contact, dark eyes looking over her face as he hovered a hand near her side.
"You should, uh, close your eyes." He whispered, his breath blowing across her lips and his thumb bent to twist his ring around his finger, something that would become a habit with time.
"Right."
The stillness that followed felt more painful because she couldn't see him, Kate tense as she tried to guess what would happen next, but then a hand settled against her arm and sent chills across her skin. Right, hands, people did things with their hands during a kiss. What the hell was she supposed to do with her hands? It was useless to think about it, it didn't matter if she did it right. He was just helping her get it over with, this meant absolutely nothing.
That's what she convinced herself, at least. That was the only reason she didn't absolutely lose her mind as Eddie Munson leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.
Kate's fate had been sealed at that moment.
His kiss was incredibly gentle at first, the slightest brush of his lips against hers. They'd been so soft, a completely unexpected detail that she dwelled on for years to come. Toes curled as raindrops danced against her skin, soaking into the ankle of her sweatpants and spreading cold branches up her calf, just enough of a distraction to remind her that this moment was real. When he pulled back enough that their noses bumped together, the dangerous mixture of drugs and desire that was rushing through her veins causing Kate to sway slightly, she'd thought it was over. She would have been satisfied with that, she could have coasted contently through the next year on that touch alone.
But this was Eddie Munson, and he didn't half ass anything; except school, of course.
When he'd kissed her again, she hadn't been expecting it. It pulled a soft, surprised hum from her throat, her lips parting just enough for him to slot his own between them. He'd tilted his head at some point, finding a more suitable angle as this thumb rubbed slow soothing strokes across her skin;
And then his lips moved.
Kate was sure she'd pass out at any moment, her hands fumbling to do something, anything, to keep her from drifting away and finding it in Eddie's shoulders. Kissing back was a losing battle; She was sure that she was doing terrible despite her best efforts. Her chest ached, threatening to burst as her blood rushed through her ears, clashing into the distant sound of the music that still played from his speakers as her pulse blended into the persistent, pounding rain that drummed against the roof above them. She could have stayed like that forever; fiddling with the raw edge of Eddie's shirt, his lips gently coaxing hers to move with his as the world beyond the yellowed glow of the van's interior faded into oblivion.
It was over too soon, as all good things were.
"See, told you," She barely recognized his words as she opened her eyes, forcing herself to not linger in the comfort of the darkness. "It's nothing."
What had she looked like to him then? If she concentrated hard enough, she could put together a vague image of herself mirrored in those earnest, dark eyes. A stupid girl, her bangs uneven and her eyes glassy, pressing the tips of her fingers against her lips. The burn that had spread across the back of her neck towards her ears sank into her skin again in the years beyond, Kate shifting her hands behind her head to dig her fingers into soft flesh above her shoulder blades and begging it to stop.
"Sorry, I-" The final blow that sank any hope that Eddie had any feelings for her aside from pity had followed a broken giggle as he ran his hands through his hair, an adorable distraction from the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "We're both really high."
It was the excuse they used whenever the kiss came up again in conversation afterwards, all three times, at least. Barely a word was said as the keys were pulled from the ignition and they settled down on opposite sides of the van, back to back, and tried to get some sleep. She didn't know what had been more confusing, the sudden shift away from whatever the fuck that was that plunged her into a silence that allowed her ample time for doubt, or the fact that Eddie had acted like nothing had happened the morning after.
She felt him shift beside her now, snapping her back to the present. The tingle that lingers on her lips was killed as she dug her teeth into them, wincing slightly when she broke the skin. Her painful return to reality was punctuated with an awful twist in her stomach, Kate sitting up so suddenly that her head began to spin.
"Kate?"
"I'm fine, I-" The splitting pain that blossomed behind her eyes nearly knocked her on her ass as she attempted to climb to her feet, Kate blindly reaching for the nearby pillar to support herself. "I'm an idiot, I stood up too fast."
Floorboards creaked beneath them as Eddie climbed to his feet, grabbing Kate by the waist until she regained her balance.
"You sure? You look, uh, well you look like shit."
"Thanks."
She sighed, dragging her hand through her hair until she caught her scrunchie and scratching at her scalp once it was free. Eddie let go of her when she gave his shoulder a short pat, Kate putting on her best imitation of being okay with a small smile before nodding towards the tangled makeshift bedding that still sat inside the boat.
"...I'm gonna take a nap."
What she really needed as a hit.