I spend the next several days sulking around the manor and the vast acreage around us. Wandering through the halls and the gardens like a ghost mulling over the secrets that Yarrow divulged. Shortly after our conversation he departed for Day Court, "On official emissary business," he'd revealed with an air of superiority. I had rolled my eyes and stifled my frustration as a million questions bubbled up inside of me. Fine, I decided. If I want information, I'll go out and find it myself. So for four days I prepped to leave while the suddenly stagnant air of springtime threatened to suffocate me. I ate meals with my family as usual, forcing myself to engage in conversations with a man I no longer recognize. I followed my normal routines so I didn't raise any red flags, and decided where I'd start. Originally I had planned to start in Summer, I knew Lord Tarquin and his advisers and would at least have a few friendly faces when I arrived. But no, they may alert my court about my whereabouts; my plans. That's why, on the fifth night after my conversation with Yarrow, I shove my arms through the sleeves of a long tunic and stuff a thick sweater into my pack in preparation to leave for the Autumn Court. I look through my pack for the one millionth time and double check that I have enough warm clothing; enough money.
Plotting and doing are two vastly different things; the planning was easy. As I stand in my room and cast a glance around the comforts of the only life I've ever known my heart aches. Do I grieve what I'm leaving behind? Or is the grief born from the recent realization that I don't know anything about our true history, my true history?
With the laces of my shoes barely tied and my heart thundering in my chest I hear a low creak as my bedroom door is pushed open slowly. So absorbed in my rush to leave I completely missed the sounds of footsteps approaching my door. I whirl around and find myself face to face with my mother. Astoria stands in the doorway for less than the length of a heartbeat before slipping inside my room, left hand held behind her back, and closing the door silently behind herself. Her silver lined eyes stare me down from where she seems glued to the floor and wordlessly she brings her hand around and holds a small satchel out to me. "In case you find yourself hungry between places to stay," she says, her voice thick with emotion. Clearly, my careful preparations haven't been as careful as I had thought. She motions for me to take the sack from her hand and as I approach she continues, "Be careful, Florence. Not everyone is your friend. I assume it isn't Summer you're running off to?" Her hand glide down my long sleeves, she pinches the fabric at my wrist impulsively, rubbing the seam between her fingers and looks out the window behind me; avoiding my eyes.
"No, it isn't," I say softly, studying her face. There is no anger in her soft features; her deep brown eyes so much like my own.
"And I suppose you won't tell me where it is you're heading." It isn't a question. She finally pulls her attention away from my sleeve and a small smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. "I always knew it'd be you." I tilt my head in confusion, I don't respond in hopes that my silence is enough of a question in itself. "I always knew you'd be the one to leave this place. You remind me so much of myself, Flo." A soft hand brought up to cup my cheek; I lean into it, emotion welling up inside of me.
Astoria crosses my room and stares out my window into the dark garden below. We stand in silence for a moment longer and nervous energy buzzes through my hands, my feet. I need to leave if I'm going to be gone before dad returns; but her cryptic words keep me cemented to the floor. Just as I'm deciding to say goodbye and be done with it, mom turns back to me with a far away look. Her voice suddenly urgent as she says, "It's time for you to go, your father will be back any moment and he'll try to prevent this any way he can. Go, Florence. Find whatever it is you need to feel complete. And remember; be careful my sweet girl." I cross the room quickly - throw my arms around her in a tight hug, breathing in deeply the smell of lilacs clinging to her auburn hair. I pray to the Cauldron that I never drift so far that I can't return to this place. Just when I'm sure the emotion will overwhelm me, I flee the manor. The moment my feet touch the gravel at the end of the marvelous staircase I reach for that in-between realm and squeeze myself into nothingness. Wind pulls at my hair and I tug my satchel, so lovingly packed by my mother, close to my chest. The Spring Court is vast, and my winnowing isn't as powerful as I'd like, but despite that I wind up within the borders of Autumn.
The only signs that I've crossed into another court being the chill wind that kisses my cheeks and the sprinkling of nearly bare trees around me. In the dark of the night I can't see much, but I have a general idea of where the city center is and I head due north. I rifle through the pack my mom packed for me and find that she must've enchanted it before packing it as it holds way more than what should be possible. Inside I see the edge of a small tent, a blanket, and food. Her thoughtfulness and love shines through every piece she carefully placed inside and I smile before pulling the cinch to close it back up.
I begin the trek to the city center, making my way through the trees and up steep hills in the dark. Luckily for me I don't have to navigate any true wilderness as I quickly wound up on a wide path that I truly hope leads towards the court. Leaves strewn across the dirt path crunch under my shoes and the sound brings a smile to my face. As luck would have it, I landed much closer to the center of the autumn territory than I thought because just after an hour or so of walking the sun begins to rise and I can see the court from the top of the hill I stand on. My breath whooshes out of me as I stare down at the lightening land beneath me. If I thought Tarquin's court was beautiful, it has nothing on the dazzling scene before me. Trees cover nearly every inch of the hill all the way up to the city. Nestled between the vividly colored trees sits a sprawling house.. no. House doesn't begin to explain the structure built into and around the trees and rocks; the complex. With the reds and golds and browns of the trees and moss covering the shingles of the roof it is everything I had ever imagined the Autumn estate to be. Jade colored water flows around the buildings throughout the city and even from this distance I can hear the lapping of the water as it breaks around trunks and rocks scattered through the riverbeds. A much softer noise than the roar of the ocean breaking against the beaches of summer. As I make my way towards the now awakening city I realize I didn't come up with much of a plan for what to do after leaving Spring. Most of my planning went into getting out without Tamlin noticing.
Bustling faeries move through the city - I pull up the hood of my sweater as I realize that a High Fae walking around will stick out like a sore thumb. I remember reading distantly that some of the lesser faeries that dwell in this land are willing to go to great lengths to add any extra wealth to their name and I don't want to become a bargaining chip. I don't make it far, I'm perusing the trinkets at a young woman's booth in the market when I hear a low voice rumble from over my shoulder, "You're awfully far from home," it says in my ear. The hair on the back of my neck stands at attention, but settles once I recognize the voice. I tilt my head, picking up a small golden music box from the booth and clicking it open. Inside a young faerie twirls to the tune of the music, her arms lifted over her head and a look of bliss painted onto her tiny face. I watch her as she slows along with the musical notes and comes to a rest before snapping the lid shut. I shove my hand into the bag I had packed and hand the woman more coins than she is asking for the bauble. I barely hear her overwhelmed thanks as I turn to the red haired male beside me.
"I could say the same to you." Lucien's metal eye whirs with delight and a smile broadens across his face.
"It's good to see you, Flo."
"You too, Lucien." He sweeps me up in a swift hug and I can't help but smile at his warm welcome.
"I wasn't sure what to expect from this place," I say gesturing around us as we walk through the market side by side. "Yarrow made it sound like an evil place." Lucien snorts.
"It was; at one time. But I believe that was mostly just Yarrow being a typical big brother.. telling his baby sister scary stories about all the wretched places he's been. Are you here on official court business?" The way he asks it tells me he already knows the answer to that question. Instead of replying to the inquiry I stop by another booth full of plump apples and jugs full of apple cider. I turn a particularly large apple over in my hand as if enthralled by it. "I didn't think so. Does Tamlin even know you're here?"
"I'm sure he knows I'm not in Spring anymore. I left hours ago." I chance a look at him out of the corner of my eye as I replace the apple and offer a small smile to the man behind the booth. Would he send me back home?
"Well," he says, rocking back on his heels and shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'd love to show you around. Autumn is truly beautiful and there is plenty to see."
"You mean to tell me there's more to Autumn than apples and pumpkins?" I joke as I slide my hand through his offered elbow. As it turns out there is way more than apples and pumpkins to be seen within Lucien's court of origin. He leads me through elegant clothing shops full of fur lined cloaks and scarves; a coffee shop where the male behind the counter gives a very detailed presentation on how they grow, harvest, and then grind down the coffee beans to make a perfect cup of coffee. To prove his point he brews a cup and slides it across the counter to me, the steam wafting the deep scent into my face and warming my cheeks. I inhale deeply; there are few things in this realm I love as much as coffee.
"So... what made you want to come here?" He asks me later that evening as we stop in a small cafe off the main road and order dinner.
"I don't know," I answer honestly. "Tamlin took me to Summer to discuss some court matters; I wasn't privy to any of those discussions. But being there... it made me wish for something more than what I've always known. I've been stuck in Spring my entire life and I never felt I truly belonged there. When I finally got out of there... I don't know," I lift a shoulder halfheartedly. "Something inside of me slipped a little I guess. I just couldn't stand to go back to a stale, predictable life." Our food arrives and for a while we eat in silence. I study Lucien; a male that had been semi present throughout my entire life and wondered how much I could trust him.
"Go on," he drawls slowly without so much as looking at me. I jolt. He must've felt me staring at him as he ate.
"I talked to Feyre," it was his turn to be surprised. He finally looks at me, brows raised as I continue. "She told me you were on the continent with Vassa and Jurian still." His cheeks flush.
"I was. I stay there most of the time after- well.. I'm there for the forseeable future anyways. I was actually heading for Velaris and decided to stop here for a few days. I leave in the morning."
"I thought you hated your family," I blurt out. Heat rises in my cheeks as I glow crimson. I've heard Tamlin and Astoria from behind closed doors discuss Lucien's strained relationship with his family for most of my life. My parents, just a couple of busybodies gossiping like old females.
"I did, for a very long time. But, since Beron is dead, and Eris is now the High Lord here... there isn't as much animosity between me and this court. Trust me, I never thought a day would come that I'd want to visit this place. Yet here I am." He leans back in his chair, arms spread open. As we wrap up our meal, Lucien throws some money down on the table and we emerge back into the chilled air outside. "Come back with me to my apartment tonight. You'll have a warm bed to sleep on and you can leave with me tomorrow to Velaris if you'd like." I smile in the darkness.
I don't hesitate as I answer. "I'd love to," I say, my smile widens into a grin. To Velaris; the city of starlight.