I turned and faced Natasha; my face neutral as I looked at her.

I didn't want to be petty, but I had to admit that she didn't look all that great. She looked a little haggard and her dress revealed more than she had. She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms.

"What are you doing here?"

"You know, you ask that question a lot. I was invited," I said dryly. Ivan choked on his laughter while Dimitri squeezed my hand again.

"I meant what are you doing here after what you did?" Natasha demanded.

"As I said, I was invited," I repeated calmly.

"By whom? Who was stupid enough to invite you after what you did? You shouldn't be here!"

"I invited her, she is allowed to be here just as much as you are," Dimitri interrupted, slipping his arm around my waist. Natasha's eyes moved to Dimitri's, and she scoffed as she shook her head.

"You're joking?" she scoffed. I couldn't help but notice that others in the room and turned to watch our interactions, Christian looking slightly mortified from where he stood against the counter. I turned back to Natasha and raised my brows.

"You rejected him and now you're trying to worm your way back? Do you really think that anyone here would welcome you back? You broke a sacred bond and what? Expect us to accept you back? You're a pariah, Rose. You have no place here anymore."

"Tasha, I think that's a bit extreme," someone interjected but she held her hand up to silence them.

"You may not have cared what you did to Dimitri, but we did. You didn't have to watch him suffer while hoping you'd change your mind. You didn't have to watch him be in agony while you traipsed around New York doing God knows what with God knows who. You're a promiscuous girl, I wouldn't be surprised if you whored yourself around while away-"

My hand cracked against Natasha's cheek, making her head twist to the side. My nails caught her cheek when I slapped her, cutting her over the purple scar. Natasha raised her hand to her cheek in shock, her fingers coming back with traces of blood.

"You bitch!" she exclaimed but Ivan stepped between us before she could retaliate.

"I think you forget that Rose is mated, and therefore, always welcome at the hubs. I also think you forget that while yes, Rose left, she is still human. She is still young; she is allowed to be scared. She is allowed to need time to think. Immortality is a lot to comprehend, and while Rose may have been in New York, she suffered every bit as much as Dimitri did, if not more. You aren't in a place to assert judgment when you have never been mated," Ivan snapped, his voice so deep and gravelled that his accent overcame his voice.

"Ivan is right, Natasha," Malcolm stated, "Rose wasn't off just living life. She was depressed and irritated, constantly rubbing at her chest. And she was secluded. If she wasn't in class, she was at work. Don't presume to know anything."

I turned my face away for a moment to compose myself. I could handle Natasha talking down to me, but for her to imply that I whored myself out while being away at school struck a nerve with me.

"You're right, I wasn't here. But I had nightmares over and over about the fear and pain that Dimitri felt when I died in July. That has been punishment enough," I said quietly, excusing myself. Dimitri wanted to follow but stayed back with Ivan. I slipped out of the main room and into the first door I found, finding a small room.

I closed the door and leaned against the wall, resting my hands against the walls, breathing slowly out of my mouth. I closed my eyes and let my head thump against the wall. I didn't know what bothered me more; the fact that Natasha publicly humiliated me or that she wasn't wrong.

I wasn't here when Dimitri was suffering and I did hurt him. I hurt him because I was being childish and I ran away from my problems. Instead of being an adult and working through our problem, I ran away to school without so much as a goodbye. I did come back and expected the others to welcome me back.

I slid down the wall and wrapped my arms around my knees, sucking in a slow breath. I licked my lips and thumped my head against the wall again. I wiped the edge of my hand under my eye and sighed, swallowing thickly.

There was a timid knock on the door before the door opened, a woman poking her head in. She tsked when she saw me crouched on the floor and she closed the door behind her. She hiked her skirt as she crouched in front of me, dabbing under my eyes with a tissue.

"Don't pay any mind to her, she's just bitter," the woman said softly, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"But she isn't wrong," I whispered. The woman made a face that resembled a stern look and fixed my hair, her eyes soft.

"Yes she is. Because you are forgetting that you are an equal half of the equation. You are not the only human mate to panic when faced with the idea of becoming immortal. It is terrifying, but you can't help how you feel or react. You are human, sweetheart," she explained, gripping my hand gently in hers.

"You panicked?" I whispered thickly.

She nodded. "I was sixteen when I found out," she said, "I was terrified. I shut my mate out for days."

I rubbed my lips together. "That isn't why I ran," I whispered. She tilted her head and gave me an encouraging look.

"When I mentioned that I died, Dimitri feed me his blood so that I would be revived. My neck snapped in the car accident we were in. I had just found out about the immortality thing, and when I found out that he fed me his blood after, I was furious. I was angry with him, and I yelled and I said some terrible things. And then I left for school and I... I'm terrible," I whimpered.

"Shh. No, you aren't."

"I am," I sighed, "I hurt him."

"But you are here now," she implored, "You came back, you healed. Just like Christian said earlier, you can't fake what you have."

I swallowed and licked my lips, wiping at my face again. "I feel pretty pathetic right now."

The woman chuckled and sat on the floor beside me, her head resting against the door.

"It could be worse. You could have told your parents that your mate was a pervert so that they would make him leave," the woman said, cracking up at the end. I cracked up too and ran my hand through my hair.

"You didn't!?"

"Yeah…It was so long ago I don't think he even remembers it," she snickered.

I hiccupped in my laughter and sighed, running my hands over my skirt. "I should probably go back out."

The woman stood up and helped me to my feet, flicking the light on overhead. I winced and closed my eyes, slowly opening them again. The woman in front of me looked my age, but I knew she wasn't. She had blonde hair that was sleek and her eyes were so blue it looked fake.

"Well, I have to say, I wish I could look pretty after crying," she joked and I chuckled, wiping my fingers under my eyes once more.

"Do I look okay?"

She smiled. "You look beautiful. My name is Emily, by the way," she said.

"Rose, but you already knew that," I chuckled. Emily nodded and opened the door, gesturing for me to go first.

I could still feel the tension when I came back into the room. Emily patted my hand and smiled at me as we walked. I could feel that Dimitri was agitated but when he saw me he blocked it off, giving me a soft smile instead. I went and stood beside him, still feeling a little chastised despite not being chastised.

Christian had drifted away from the kitchen as lingered near us, his eyes shifting over the room. I could tell that Alberta was trying to liven up the mood but turning on the music. I had to admire how easy it was for her to gain control of a room. A few people started dancing with their mates to a cheesy Christmas song and I had to snicker at it.

Dimitri hummed in the back of his throat and pulled me to his side, pressing his lips to my hair.

"Thing I can get you to dance to this?" Dimitri asked with a laugh. I turned in his arms and took his hand, pulling him out to the pretend dance floor. I grinned at him and let him sweep me into his arms, holding me tight to his chest.

I sighed and rested my cheek on his chest, swaying with him to the music. It was the kind of dance you see in the movies, not quite a formal dance but not swaying in one spot. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.

"I love you," Dimitri sang softly in my ear, making me laugh.

"I love you," I said looking up at him. Dimitri grinned and spun me under his arm before pulling me back. The music shifted to one I had heard before, chuckling as Dimitri sang the words to me quietly. It was funny that this song played because really, this was how we all felt in this room. We only had eyes for one person in the world, and it didn't matter where we were. Just as long as we were together.

I squealed quietly when he dipped me, pressing his lips to mine before bringing me back up, and pressing his lips to mine again.

"Who is Ivan?" I asked in a break between songs.

Dimitri smiled to himself for a moment. "Ivan is to me what Lissa is to you," he explained, "Ivan is one of my closest friends."

"And why is this the first time I'm hearing of him?" I accused playfully with raised brows.

Dimitri shrugged. "Time is different when you live forever. While waiting eighteen years to be with you felt like a lifetime, not seeing him felt like a blink. I wasn't sure where he was or what name he went by anymore. But now that he's around, I'm sure we reconnect again."

I nodded. "I'm glad that you have someone like that. I can't be all that you have," I said softly.

"You're all I need," Dimitri breathed.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that, but I mean that it's not healthy for me to be the only person you find happiness in."

Dimitri shook his head but let it go, knowing that we could go back and forth for hours if we let ourselves. I stretched up on my toes and cupped Dimitri's cheeks, looking into his eyes until I could feel that tingle in my chest.

"I don't want to spend another day without you," I whispered. Dimitri nodded and rested his forehead against mine.

"I know," he said. I nodded and pulled back, teetering a little when the heel of my shoe caught the skirt of my dress. A hand pressed against my back as I teetered. I grunted and turned, only to smile.

"Look at you, creeper. Always hovering," I laughed.

Christian gave me a dry look and rolled his eyes. "I'll let you fall on your ass next time," he snarked. I made a face at him and Dimitri

"Mind if I steal your date? I couldn't break mine out," Christian joked. Dimitri nodded and kissed my cheek tenderly and then kissed the shell of my ear before flagging down Ivan. I shook my head softly and took Christian's hand, dancing with him with a little awkwardness.

"You okay? Tasha really crossed the line," Christian asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I'm fine, it doesn't mean that it didn't sting," I admitted quietly.

"I'm sorry," Christian whispered.

"It's fine," I sighed, "It's not like you did it."

"No, but it's still not okay."

I shrugged again and looked around as we danced, noticing that while a lot of mates were dancing together earlier, everyone had mingled together now.

"Can I ask you something that might be a little morbid?"

"Sure."

"I haven't wanted to ask Dimitri, but how bad was I after the accident? I know that you were there. I very hazily remember you standing at the end of my bed. The whole topic upsets him."

Christian pressed his lips into a tight line. "To be honest, I thought you were going to die."

"Before Dimitri?"

"After. You were really messed up. What do you remember?"

I sighed. "I remember my leg ankle was broken, my hip was bruised and my ribs were fractured, so was my collarbone. But that's it."

"When you were brought in you had to go into surgery to set your ankle. You had a lot of internal bleeding. Your cheekbone was broken, you fractured three fingers in your left hand, you cracked your sternum and there was a lot of swelling. Dimitri was able to smooth over most of the inconsistencies with compulsion and the help of Ekon staff members, but it was bad."

"What happens to you when you spend too much energy healing? I mean, other than needing to feed more often?" I asked.

Christian tilted his head. "Why?"

"I just keep thinking about the night I fought with Dimitri before I left for school. I was so angry and I don't know how to explain it. It was consuming and so uncharacteristic for me. Don't get me wrong, I have a temper, but I felt crazy," I explained, "I was starting to think it was the medication I was on."

Christian listened as I spoke and then lead me off the floor so that we weren't in everyone else's way. He gestured for me to follow him and I followed him into the library. Christian skimmed through the books on the shelf before plucking one down, blowing dust off the cover.

"You mentioned once that your bond formed very quickly," Christian said as he thumbed through the pages.

"That's right," I said as I toyed with my necklaces.

"It's rareish, but sometimes the bond can revert in a sense. We share emotions through the bond right? Well, sometimes the bond can remit emotions when it's strained. It's why we think we feel pain after rejection or even fighting. The bond is shaken, so it goes haywire. Does that make sense?"

I shook my head. "No. That was a lot of words. In stupid, please," I stated.

"It's possible that you were feeding off Dimitri's exhaustion and fear. There was a strain on the bond because you died and then there was conflict between the two. It's possible that the bond made you like that. Like a darkness that clouded you. We don't know how much the human body can sustain in terms of Ekon magic," Christian explained again, pointing at pages in the book he was holding.

I blinked and frowned, rubbing my fingers over my brow.

"So, my anger wasn't exactly my own?"

"Probably not," Christian said, "You two fought before the accident?"

"Yeah but, the anger wasn't that bad," I explained.

Christian closed the book with a thump and shrugged. "It was probably the bond. Even for me, if I push too much when healing Lissa, I get agitated too."

I rubbed my hand against the back of my neck and furrowed my brows. "Bonds are whacked."

Christian snorted and set the book on the table. "Tell me about it," he laughed, "We should get back to the party. There are still gifts to be given, and I don't think John Wayne wants to be alone for long."

I nodded and eyed the book as Christian walked to the door, memorizing the title before following him. I'd come back for it later.

I was already in a bad mood when Dimitri came into the house. I had just received five acceptance packets from the schools I planned on applying to. I tapped my fingers on the packets and looked up at him when he came into the kitchen, his eyes moving from me to the packets on the counter.

"Care to explain?" I asked.

"What are those?" Dimitri asked innocently, but I knew that he was nervous. I could feel it rolling off him in thick waves.

"What do you think they are?" I asked.

Dimitri licked his lips and set his keys on the counter and looked at the packets.

"You got in," he said.

"Apparently. But I don't remember submitting them. The day of graduation I noticed my applications were missing. I didn't think anything of it until now."

Dimitri looked at the packets again and sighed. "You missed the first deadline," he began but I scoffed and shook my head.

"Unbelievable," I muttered under my breath.

"Okay, I'll admit, I shouldn't have submitted them without telling you, but you let your mom talk you out of it. You didn't do it because she told her that it wasn't worth your time when you know that it is! I couldn't let you pass up those opportunities."

"Don't you think you've made enough decisions for me lately?" I snapped, "When is it going to end? You kept saying how you waited to form a relationship until I could make my own decisions, and you went and made them for me!"

Dimitri reached for my hand, and I pulled it away. I felt the anger I had been trying to push down rear its ugly head. My emotions were all out of wack since the car accident and the pain medication and antianxiety medication didn't help. They made me irritable and tired, which only fed my negative emotions.

I bit my tongue to the point where I could taste blood. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?! I just needed some goddamn space!

"Rose."

"What do you want?!" I snapped, "What the fuck do you want, Dimitri?!"

Dimitri sighed and crossed his arms. I could tell that he was over my attitude, but I couldn't care less. I was so angry with him that I could spit fire. I had been angry for three weeks.

"I just want to talk to you," Dimitri said. I scoffed and hobbled to the cupboard, pulling down a mug I painted for Baba as a kid so I could reach the one behind it.

"I don't want to talk to you. I want you to go away," I bit out as I balanced on my right leg so I wouldn't put my weight on the left. It may not have been broken anymore because of Dimitri, but it was still tender.

"Please?"

I snapped and grabbed the mug in front of me, turning and whipping it across the room

"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!" I screamed. My chest rose and fell as I breathed, my body shaking

"I don't want to see you, and I don't want to talk to you! I can't trust you!" I spat.

Dimitri's face fell a little but he stayed where he was, arms still crossed over his chest. I could feel pain pulling at my chest and I blocked it out, slamming a wall between us in the bond.

"You can trust me," Dimitri implored quietly.

"I can't! You proved that to me. I said I didn't want to be one of you, and you still did what you did! You fed me your blood! Do you have any idea of how confusing all of this is for me? How strange it is to be so restless because I can't work out any of my energy? Or how hungry I am all the time!? I don't feel like I'm even in my own body anymore!"

Dimitri started to move around the island, and I moved in the opposite direction, keeping the island between us.

"I cannot trust you to be honest with me," I whispered, "How can I be with you if I cannot trust you?"

I watched Dimitri's throat bob as he swallowed, the noise travelling to my ears. Another thing I hated. I hated being able to hear everything!

"What are you saying, Roza?" Dimitri breathed. I could see the panic in his eyes and even though I knew that he loved me, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I told him the truth, even if it hurt him.

"I don't want to be with you. I can't be with you," I whispered.

Dimitri's face crumbled and I could feel his ache through the bond despite the barriers. It felt like an elastic snapping between us. It started out as a barely noticeable throb, but it grew to a deep ache that made it hurt to breathe.

"You don't mean that," he returned as he stepped towards me again but I stepped back, crossing my arms over my stomach.

"I do," I breathed.

"Okay," Dimitri whispered as his body slackened. It was like watching a balloon deflate in front of me. I bit my lip and looked away from him, knowing that if I looked at him break I would too.

We both stood like statues, nothing but the sound of our breathing meeting my ears. Dimitri cleared his throat after a moment and nodded his head. I sniffed and reached behind my neck and unclasped the necklace he bought me.

"Here," I said.

Dimitri shook his head while not looking in my direction. "Keep it. It's a gift."

I set the necklace on the counter and watched him walk to the front door. I flinched when the door closed. I would have preferred it if he slammed it. I let out a deep breath and covered my face with my hands, letting out a sob.

A part of me wished that he fought more, but the larger part of me knew that my rejection took all the fight he had.

"Rose?"

I flinched and turned to look at Dimitri, a small smile growing on my face.

"Sorry, what?"

Dimitri brushed his fingers against my cheekbone and lifted his other hand up. We were sitting on the couches with Christian, Alberta, Stan, Ivan, Emily, and another mate that I couldn't remember the name of. Malcolm was loitering at the back of the other couch, looking over all of us with a smile.

"This is for you," Dimitri said. I looked down at the box in his hand and I took it, trying to figure out what it was. It was a small jewelry box. I lifted the lid of the box and took in a slow breath, looking up at him again.

"This makes my gift look so boring," I pouted with a small smile. Dimitri rested his arm along the back of the couch, a happy smile on his lips. We decided to do gifts tomorrow morning at my house, but we each brought a gift for each other to open tonight.

"I doubt that," he chuckled. I plucked the small ring out of the box, turning it so I could see all of it. It was a ring that was made up of three intertwining bands, each band a different colour. One gold, one white gold, and one was reddish gold. There were small diamonds set in the white gold band.

"It's beautiful. Thank you," I whispered as I looked up at Dimitri. Dimitri just smiled at me as I slid it onto my left hand. I knew that it was probably bad to put it on my ring finger, but that was the only finger it felt like it belonged there.

Alberta leaned over Stan to look at it, gushing over it quietly. I grinned and titled my cheek up towards Dimitri as he leaned down to kiss it. Ivan tilted his head so he could see it and chuckled.

"I've seen that somewhere before," Ivan laughed.

I looked at him with furrowed brows as he laughed. Malcolm rolled his eyes and cuffed Ivan in the back of the head

"Ow! I meant that I know where you got the inspiration from! Geez!"

"Inspiration?" I asked.

"My mother has a necklace that similar to your ring. I had the diamonds added," he explained. I looked down at it again and moved it with my thumb, watching the light catch the gems.

"I love it."

I heard a noise of disgust and looked over to my side before sighing and looking back at Ivan with a dry look, lifting my wine glass that he had filled.

"I think that we should be going," Christian said abruptly, "I hope you all have a lovely Christmas, and I will see you, Rose, on the twenty-seventh."

I gave him a small wave as everyone said their goodbyes, all while he practically dragged Natasha out the door with him. I set my glass back down and glanced at the clock and fought a yawn.

"We should get going too," I said quietly, "It's getting late."

Dimitri nodded. "It is. We will be heading out too, this one still needs to sleep," Dimitri said with a chuckle. I slapped his stomach gently and stood up too, hugging Alberta and Emily good night. Stan smiled at me and gave me a quick hug, while Ivan lifted me off my feet in a bear hug.

"Night, kiddies," Ivan said as Dimitri helped me into my coat. I nodded and slipped my hand into Dimitri's.

Let me know what you think!:)