I was in the cockpit with Joker, waving off our brave heroes to face the dangers of Noveria. Shepard, Ashley, and Kaiden look fantastic with their acid resistant armor. They could not find one in Garrus's size. Fortunately, he doesn't care since he has his new rifle which he really wants to test out. Earlier he said I was more than forgiven for bringing him his new lovechild. Tali is joining them for tech support. Liara is right behind the commander. She has helped us on several missions and has proven herself capable against the geth. I don't think there will be any issues.
"Hang on I'm getting there" Wrex said.
"You are going? Who will entertain me?" I asked.
"Yeah I'm going. I have been hearing rumors in krogan space. Something about Saren may have a cure for the genophage. I don't believe it but if he does, I have to check it out" Wrex said.
"Even if he does, is it a really good idea? Can you imagine having 300 hundred screaming mouths asking for food? If it helps picture the rugrats with my voice" I said.
"Oh god. Oh god that is going to be in my nightmares" Shepard shutters.
"I'll decide on that. Come on times a wastin" Wrex shoves everyone into the decontamination area.
I sit down into the copilot chair and look at the pilot.
"What?" Joker asked.
"We haven't had any chances to talk. You can entertain me" I give him a wicked smile.
"I hear alot of interesting stories about you… and by that I mean Shepards vents to me. You drive him crazier than I do. Respect" Joker fists bumps me. "Easy" he warns.
"Come on in and make yourself at home. Just don't touch any buttons" Joker said.
"Thank you" I said as I slid into the comfortable chair.
"So, what's your origin story?" Joker asked.
"Do you want the long one, short one, or funny one?" I asked.
"Let's go with the funny one" he chooses. I gotta pull something out of my hat.
"Ok so I was in the jungle. I was hunting down the last communist. I found him outside this rundown bar and stalked him till he made it back to his base. I kill him and successfully eradicate communism or so I thought. Apparently, he knocked up the bar owner's daughter. I thought about killing the baby, you know, to prevent a future Hitler. I knew a fatherless son of a communist was not going to end well you know?" I said.
"Yeah, right totally. Everyone knows something awful would happen" Joker said.
I point to the pilot and wave my hand. "Hey I like you. You entertain my mild insanity."
"It is better than hollywood. What happened next?" Joker asked.
"Stalin grew up and killed millions of people. I should have killed the baby, but he was so cute. Anyway, I left that universe and made my way here" if only that was the case. I never got close to removing those narcissistic manipulative pricks anywhere I went.
"That is enough about me. What made you want to be a pilot?" I asked.
"When I was in middle school, I was in a wheelchair due to my bone disease. I had this one friend who invited me to go flying with his dad. One of those old school planes. I was scared out of my mind until we got into the air. I'll never forget that view. I felt trapped in my weak body but when I was flying, I could go anywhere I wanted. I felt free. That made me become a pilot" Joker said.
"Why an alliance pilot? Why not give plane rides to tourists or something?" I asked.
"To get chicks" Joker stated. We both have a laugh.
Joker asks "do you want to push the horn?"
"This thing has a horn?!"
"Yeah it's used for alerting maintenance workers when we move the ship. It's this square yellow button here. Better do it now before we are in space. Can't hear it in space. No air there." Joker said.
"I'll do it some other time. If you need me I'll be in my room meditating. Let me when they come back" I get up and wave goodbye. I walk towards my room and do a simple meditation. I just watch my breathing for a while and think of cute animals to release the happy feelings. A short while later the gravity shifts. Joker took the normandy into orbit. I continue my meditation. I have been doing this for a long time. I am parched. I get up and grab a glass of water. It tastes strangely good. I walk to the cockpit and check in with Joker.
"Hey, it has been a while. What have you been doing?" Joker cheerfully asked.
"Mediating. It was really nice" I said.
"Have you been doing it this entire time?" Joker looks concerned.
"Yeah why?" I asked.
"It has been two days" Joker said.
"Really?" I skeptically asked.
"Yes really. Man you really lose track of time" he said.
"Yeah that can happen. Anything back from the team?" I asked.
"No not yet. He mentioned this mission will be a long one. They came back for supplies and are heading to a lab high in the mountains. They had to take the mako. The storm won't allow the normandy to drop them off" Joker said.
"I wonder what they are doing now?" I try to imagine it. I wonder if they are at the part with the reactor puzzle.
Tali screams "SPIDERS SPIDERS SPIDERS. Get away."
"My dad killed plenty of you in his day and he was a shitty warrior. You are nothing Rachni" Wrex yells.
A loud pop is heard and a large soldier explodes. The blood stains the metal floor below.
"I LOVE THIS GUN!" Garrus's deep voice is filled with the utmost delight.
"Heh they are probably just driving up the mountain still. Should we be worried if they don't come back soon?" I asked.
"Nah. Shepard said to expect this mission to last a week. It is rare but it happens. Come back up when we fly back down. Take care *********."