Now we come to the portions of the story that I am still working on. What I have posted already was largely done. I have most of the story written but have parts I still don't like and have a good deal of editing to do. From here on, I will likely post much less often, for I actually have to do more than read through it again and fix grammar and spelling mistakes.
Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She coloured and was struck silent by his confession. This he considered sufficient encouragement, so he went on,
"I lost part of my heart the first time I saw you in the woods, and the rest slowly over the recent months. I was in the middle of loving you before I knew I had begun. I have been raised to value connections, titles, and fortune above all else when considering a marriage mate, yet I find I cannot. I have tried for years to find someone that society would deem an appropriate match who might also stir some emotion within me. I have been unable to do so. I find I no longer care what they say. What is fortune when you care so well for my sister? What is a title to your sparkling eyes? Your connections, while despicable in the view of some, are people who I have come to care greatly for. I struggled against my feelings for so long, due to society's expectations, my own pride, and due to a fear of losing your friendship, but I can do so no longer. Pray, Elizabeth, do tell me that you will put me out of my agony and agree to be my wife."
When he ceased speaking, the colour rose into her cheeks. She was silent for some time before beginning carefully, "I do not know how to respond, sir, Mr. Darcy. I had no notion of your sentiments."
She paused for a moment, and he interjected,
"Personally, I would vastly prefer that you respond in the affirmative." She laughed at his attempt to lighten the mood.
"Indeed! I believe that is typically the preference of the gentleman. I would not suppose you would have asked if you preferred otherwise," she said before returning to a more sober manner, "As I said, I had no notion. I would never have considered you as a suitor. I thought you only regarded me as a friend and the sister of a friend. I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed. You are the very best of men..."
"I will stop you, Miss Bennet. I know a rejection when I hear one. You need not go on, please, I cannot bear it," Darcy said, making to leave the library. Then Miss Bennet entered as he was about to quit the room. She seemed to sense the tension in the room, but having entered, could not extract herself gracefully. Darcy bowed to both sisters and left.
"Oh Jane!" cried Elizabeth, before relating the tale of what had occurred only moments before.
"Poor Mr. Darcy," said Jane.
"I fear I have injured him greatly," said Elizabeth, "I had meant to speak more, but he would not hear me."
"What do you intend to do?" asked Jane.
"I do not know. It is all so sudden," said Elizabeth.
"Would you accept a courtship if he were to ask?" asked Jane.
"I suppose so," said Elizabeth. "I truly did not know he felt anything for me. Mary and Kitty thought he might, for they teased me about it, and Mama, of course, but I had not considered the possibility of their being right."
"Shall I speak to him on your behalf?" asked Jane, "for I am certain he was only upset and will realise his mistake."
"No," said Elizabeth, "I shall speak to him."
Darcy sat at the edge of the ballroom, watching Elizabeth dance with Mr. Bickering. The dance involved clapping, so he made her laugh as he did so by slapping his remaining hand on his opposite shoulder. It was their second set that night, and the other had been much the same. He would be a gentleman and bow out gracefully. He should allow Mr. Bickering and Elizabeth to court without interference, fading into the background as the older brother of her friend. Perhaps she would not marry Mr. Bickering, but she would eventually marry. She was too lovely to become a spinster. Some gentleman or other would ask and she would accept.
"You have not danced tonight," came Miss Catherine's voice from beside him.
"I have not been well," said he.
"Lizzy has not been well either. I have seen her crying twice in the past two days," said Miss Catherine. Darcy felt a pang at this. He supposed he should have known that she would feel some pain, even if it were only for the loss of their friendship. She was so good a lady that she might even cry for the pain that he would feel upon her rejection of his offer.
"I cannot help but feel that your scowl and her tears are connected," added Miss Kitty.
"She doesn't look to be upset still," said Mr. Darcy.
"She cannot very well show what she feels in the middle of a ball," said Kitty, shaking her head at the ridiculous man. "You argued then?" she asked.
"Not exactly," said he, "I do not wish to speak of it."
"Very well," said Kitty, "But know that Lizzy has been trying to speak with you. You simply are never to be found of late."
"I thank you for your concern, Miss Catherine," said Darcy, for he did not wish to be rude to the girl. She was only looking out for her sister. He knew he needed eventually to speak to Elizabeth, but he did not yet have the courage to face the look of pity that had come across her face on that evening. He could not stand it. Kitty left him, and he sat alone for some time, watching the dancers spin, hop, and clap in time to the music.
"Mr. Darcy," came Elizabeth's voice from behind Darcy as he stood at the refreshment table, "You can hide from me no longer. We can speak now, or you will give me your word that we will speak on the morrow. You did not do me the honour of letting me finish speaking during our last conversation, and I am quite put out with you for leaving so abruptly."
Darcy brought the glass of punch to his lips, before turning back to pour another for Elizabeth. He handed it to her and led her into an antechamber.
"What is it that you wish to say to me, Miss Elizabeth?" he asked.
"When I said that I had not considered you as a suitor, I didn't mean to outright reject the possibility."
"What do you mean?" asked he.
"You said you had not shown your feelings. Therefore, given no encouragement, how was I to suppose that you cared? How was I to develop feelings with no hint of yours? We only ever spoke of friendship."
"I apologise, but I was uncertain of my intent and did not wish to raise expectations if I did not intend to fulfil them."
"As is proper, sir. Yet, then you cannot be put out with me that I cannot accept you. Jane and I have always said we will only marry for love. While friendship may be a strong foundation on which love may be built, I have had no time to build it, sir."
"I understand," said Darcy, his mood brightening considerably, "Then what do you propose?"
"I propose that you ask me for a courtship," said Elizabeth.
"Very well," said he with a broad smile, "Miss Elizabeth, will you accept a courtship with me?"
"Yes, Mr. Darcy," she said, "Now, the next set is the supper set, which conveniently has somehow had your name written beside it. You shall dance with me, eat with me, and then you shall cease scowling at all my other dance partners. You might even dance with others yourself."
"Have you any other sets free?" asked Mr. Darcy.
"Yes, sir," said she, "was I too presumptuous in assuming?"
"Nay, it is not that. Ah, I will take this set as well," said Darcy, "If Bickering gets two sets, I would dance twice with you as well."
"You are to be a jealous lover, then?" asked Elizabeth teasingly.
"On this occasion, at least," said Darcy, as he led her out onto the dance floor.
"A waltz, sir?" asked Elizabeth when their second set was about to begin.
"Do you know how to waltz? I suppose I should not have assumed," asked Darcy, "That is, if you wish to waltz, for I would not wish to make you uncomfortable." He was not sure which answer to hope for, as he was certain that she could feel his nervous energy, but he desperately wished to hold her in such a way.
"I do. Well, I have waltzed with Jane and Kitty at Longbourn, but never in public," she answered
"You waltz well for only having done so with your sisters," said Darcy after a few minutes, breaking the silence between them.
"Thank you. You dance well as well. I fear my sisters and I looked rather silly when we practised. Kitty often volunteered to play the gentleman and would wear one of our father's jackets and waistcoats over her dress when we danced. The jacket hung nearly to her knees, but she felt it important to play the part," said Elizabeth.
"And did you ever play the gentleman or just Miss Kitty?" asked Darcy, "The image of you, and especially Miss Bennet, dressed in your father's jacket and waistcoat is rather diverting."
"I am sure it is. Yes, we did, for otherwise, we were afraid that Kitty would only know how to lead the waltz."
"I see. That certainly would not do for her to only know how to lead," he said, glancing at Kitty and Lord Barlow dancing together.
"I noticed as well," said Elizabeth, "Last I heard of him from her, she disliked him. As that is their second dance of the evening, I assume her opinion of him has improved."
"Indeed," said Mr. Darcy, as he heard Miss Catherine laugh at something his cousin said, "although I did not know she disliked him."
"I think she thought him proud, for besides you, Wickham, and Bingley, he spoke mostly with Sir William and Lady Lucas. I believe she may have assumed it was the titles that made them acceptable."
"My uncle is acquainted with Sir William, as he said the other evening," said Darcy, "My cousin is even more reserved than I, so the previous relationship would have helped him along. He did dance with whomever Sir William suggested to him as a partner."
"I'm aware. I believe Kitty was simply put out that he was not all affability to her," said Elizabeth, "She is yet only seventeen."
"We seem to always speak of your sisters when we dance," observed Darcy.
"Or yours, sir. Perhaps that is why I did not develop feelings. While dancing can be a step towards falling in love, it is difficult to do so when one speaks of one's own relations."
"I wish to say again how exceedingly sorry that I did not provide evidence of my regard for you and for how I reacted upon your refusal. I thought, perhaps unreasonably, that I had seen evidence of a partiality on your part towards me, but I may have simply wished it so. My reserved nature and manners have served me ill in this instance. I am glad to have an opportunity to remedy my errors. You are all graciousness, my dear Miss Elizabeth," said he.
"I feel rather a fool now that I think of it. Both Mary and Kitty hinted at such, but I told them it was not so. Your manners were not so reserved as to entirely conceal your feelings, from my relations at least. I would do anything but hurt you. You are the best of men. I am rather flattered to be the recipient of your love, for I know how well you care for those you love."
"Know that my proposal to you is an open question. Should you ever feel as if you might accept me, tell me so at once. I fear I cannot use my own judgement in judging the duration of our courtship period, lest I vex you exceedingly by asking weekly."
"Very well," said Elizabeth with a laugh, "Someday or other, I shall simply walk up to you and announce it to you. I will ensure it is very unexpected, as yours was for me."
"I shall not mind that at all, Miss Elizabeth."
"Shall you then return with us to Hertfordshire?" asked Elizabeth, "For your sister had said something about your returning to Pemberley for several weeks before Bingley's wedding so you might see to some repairs."
"I shall go to Hertfordshire," said he, "I have written to my steward and told him that I trust his judgement in regard to the repair on the tenant houses and that he may do whatever he wishes to care for them. I had thought to go and see that it was done well, but I will send men instead so that they might report back to me. I cannot very well court you from Derbyshire."
"I am sorry to cause so much trouble," said Elizabeth, "If you must go, then you must. I do not wish for you to forsake your tenants for me. Our courtship may be delayed until your tenants are cared for."
"There is no need. My men can go. They are often going between estates to oversee things. I cannot be everywhere. It was…to be honest, it was an excuse to leave the area for a few weeks,"
"I am sorry to have occasioned such pain," said Elizabeth.
"It is well now, my dear Miss Elizabeth," said Darcy, "It is well now."