Here we are at part 2! To remind you of what has happened, Ranma and Genma
stole Happosaii's magic mirror to go back to Jusenkyo for free. However,
Happosaii almost stopped them and all three got sent back to when Ranma
didn't battle Ryoga in Junior High. Once there, Ranma beat the crap out of
Ryoga. Happosaii then activated the mirror again saying, "I want to go ten
years into the future!" What will happen next? (And, be warned, this story
will continue to jump backwards and forwards in time, e.g. Describe battle
then talk about someone walking into the start of that battle.)
The standard disclaimer of "I'm innocently stealing here" applies. Direct any inconsistencies to your shoes. They need a friend. Enjoy!
-Ryoga
How Not to Use Your Amazonian Artifact: CHAPTER TWO- The Great Ryoga
This instalment brought to you by a twig, without which the pavement would be empty. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
"Huh?" - A Great Man
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------
The tiled floor gleamed at them in welcoming reassurance. Around them, various appliances sat, happily reflecting the sunlight at them in a variety of cheery ways. The paper door stood closed, but let the light flit across the floor with pleasure. The whole room gave the impression of being out of a children's television program, except for the three travellers in a pile in the middle of the room, which looked like a heap of disregarded seaweed.
A soft voice and footsteps awoke the lot of them from various dreams. They leaped into an open closet and held the door open slightly. A woman in her mid-twenties opened the door slowly and looked questioningly into the room. She lightly edged into the room and peered around the very familiar surroundings. She thought out loud, "I could have sworn I heard something," but just then a far off voice called and much louder and with much more enthusiasm she responded, "Coming honey!"
She nimbly stepped out, slid the door closed, and walked off down the hall, which was lucky because at this point three travellers fell out of the closet and out onto the floor in a very un-neat way. They ambled up and fully absorbed the room, which Genma's brain gleefully recognised as a kitchen.
It is worth mentioning that all three of them have so far failed to process the image of the woman that they just saw. If they had, they might have had a bit more insight into their current situation.
"Where are we?" asked Ranma, proving that point.
"Ha! It worked!" said Happosaii with a far too large grin. "We're ten years in the future. Me and Akane have become an item."
"And how do you know that?"
Genma interrupted, "Just look at the kitchen equipment! It's all so different. That blender there is far too small and just look at this stove! Where's the gas?"
"Oh alright," said Ranma, who had already accumulated a small pile of food and was stuffing it in a carrier bag he had found in a cupboard. 'Might as well be prepared for a long trip,' thought he and Genma simultaneously, who was now copying his son.
"We might as well see where we are," said Genma in his strong tone, "and when we are." Happosaii indicated that he already knew precisely when they were, but Genma ignored him. The lot of them walked out of the kitchen and made their way to the garden.
Genma announced, "We are, as the Master says, ten years in future from when we started all of this. This is also obviously the Tendo's dojo, and I imagine that the woman was Akane." Ranma, at last, began to think about that image. He quickly noticed that she had been ten years older, but her face was curved more towards a smile than the strains of anger. She was also slightly larger than the Akane that he knew, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. There was something basely wrong with that image.
The group prowled down the corridors of the dojo, aiming for the front door. They had to walk carefully on the heavily polished floors. Ranma even managed to hit his head on a hanging lamp. At the time he was too occupied in his usual practice of searching the floor for the small splinters, usually evidence of the last fight.
Genma was distraught when he saw the Shogi board lying outside the door, covered in dust. He couldn't think of what could make him just toss it aside like that. He would have at least used it for firewood!
The house was pretty much as they had left it but with subtle changes added. The stairs were still gleaming from constant cleaning, but they now carried about a decade's more worth of wear and tear. The walls were no longer filled with patches but were firm and built of intact planks of wood. The phone book was actually closed and on the shelf, not propped open to the 'Take Away' page as it usually was. The pairs of shoes at the door were a tad disconcerting, two large and three small pairs lay shining up at them.
'Where's my shoe cleaning twig?' thought Ranma.
They slowly made it into the garden, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. The garden had obviously been kept up. It was covered with flowers and the grass was actually green-green, not that well-treaded, dingy green. Soun had never truly worked outside, his art was martial not herbal. Nabiki could never be bothered. Akane had never seriously considered it. The idea had never occurred to Ranma or Genma, and Kasumi had enough on her hands, so their garden had remained rather plain with only a few low maintenance and cooking plants that Kasumi would tend with as she could. Happosaii, though, was instead noticing the lack of damage in the dojo. Life had obviously calmed down at the Tendo's in ten years.
Remembering his original purpose here, Happosaii began to slink around the house to find out where Akane had gone off. Ranma and Genma, however, were not going to allow him to go alone and followed him the long way around the house.
To their amazement, there was actually a bird in the birdhouse behind the dojo that had more often suited as a landing pad. Happosaii ducked under the dojo and scurried off to his favourite vantage point of the back garden. Ranma and Genma carefully followed the half buried mole to a corner of the house. From there they received a vantage point of the koi pond and a large section of wall. The patio had been extended so that they could also just make out the shape of the figures leaning there.
"I'll be going out to get dinner honey. Do you mind watching the kids?" asked Akane to an unknown person. She walked from the other side of the lawn and onto the patio. She leaned down towards the unknown figure. A series of jerks passed through Ranma. His face reverted to a look horror and amazement that would be appropriate when one is served rotten fish. Happosaii simply burned a hole through the wooden floor above him with a mist of red.
A couple people ambled out onto the lawn with her departure. "That's fine," responded an altogether more recognised voice, for Ranma anyway. Ranma peered around the corner and saw Akane walking away down the corridor towards where they had just been. Ranma's eyes widened and he quickly ducked. He had seen quite a lot when his eyes had gone wide, but he hadn't yet completely registered it.
Often when a person sees something that they don't believe, their brain takes its time and misfiles the information so that it is never found again. Ranma's brain was not very good at this, and the sight of Akane being happy, pretty, and planning to cook without everyone running away for various large mountain ranges in non-adjacent countries were three things he just couldn't miss-process.
Shortly after the gates creaked open and boomed shut they had all had to leap deeply under the house. Ranma had registered whom she had been talking to.
****
Genma had carefully watched Akane as she left and had noticed many things about her. She was humming as she walked. She had a different gait. He also noticed the glint and shape of one who has borne children. He may not have been around Nodka for long, but he had been able to notice those subtle changes. Happosaii decided to have a better look at the yard. Genma followed him.
Ranma was about to look around the corner to confirm his thoughts, but he noticed that Happosaii and Genma were staring wide-eyed at the koi pond. He picked himself up to get the same view as the other two and joined them in their peering. Not much distracted the freak or the old man.
His brain was so overwhelmed with this final sight that it gave up on most things, mainly his jaw and arms. Before committing more thinking power, his brain set his eye size to unreasonable and locked his knees as tightly as possible.
Genma began to cry and Happosaii looked as if he had just found out that all women of the world had just left the planet, with their undergarments. Ranma's brain confirmed the presence of Ryoga.
"Somebody shoot me." Facial expression had to be given up on now and his face simply drooped.
Before the group of flooded stone figures Ryoga was leaning back on the open wooden patio. Next to him sat a large, familiar panda that held the expression of one who has just lost their home to a suddenly re-routed train.
He was covered in graffiti and paint. At this moment a small little child was running wild over him with more paint, making an impressive rendition of a Picasso.
"Leave him alone. He's an old panda," said Ryoga calmly, not bothering to look over. Ryoga was too absorbed in life in general. Even thought the dojo was reasonably successful, he still preferred wearing his old travelling clothes. He had enough money to buy plenty new sets, but he had never managed to find an outfit that matched its durability and flexibility.
Next to the pond, a small huddled stack of clothes was sitting disregarded. However, when the second small assailant jumped it from the tree, it creaked up and a much aged and worn Happosaii appeared, attempting to convince the boy to leave. Happosaii hadn't seen the fallen form; he had been sulking for Akane. Now he fell into an all-out breakdown. His mouth was moving, but no sounds were coming out. A small lake was beginning to form under Genma. He obviously didn't appreciate art.
The chattering ball of energy seemed to argue with the rubbish heap until the boy on the panda gave up creating a multi million pound piece of art, discarding the brush into an often refilled bucket, and jumped them, forcing both to the ground, one in laughter, one in anguish.
At about this time Genma's crying had attracted Ryoga's attention. He curiously got up and was following a new river towards them when a figure that looked shaded even in the direct sunlight jumped onto the wall. This distracted him sufficiently to remove the newly formed shipping canal from his memory.
The figure crouched on the wall was obviously much older than Ranma. His hair was disregarded and matted emphasised by the faded multitude of rags the man wore. He looked as if he had been on an extended Ryogic trip. This was exactly what he had been doing for about four years now, after having been deposed from his most recent property acquisition. The shadow on the wall showed a mild grin, but was obviously trying very hard to keep it there.
With extreme smugness, Ryoga began, "My! How are you Ranma? I imagine that you have been having a good time." Ryoga's smile was now extending much too far.
"I'm doing well. How are you lot?" asked Ranma disgustedly. His voice carried not so much hatred but sounded more like he was talking to the person who had found his winning lottery ticket. Ranma couldn't stand the amount of resent Ryoga still had towards him, probably because he used to be the one doing that, or could ignore it.
"We're fine. I hope your still being accompanied?" Ryoga's smile was now to a point that it could cause stomach cramps at a three-metre range.
"Yes, I am," said Ranma. The sarcasm was now bubbling inside of him, ready to blow a large hole in Japan at any second. He quickly glanced around the inviting lawn. He wouldn't dare stand on the lawn, not with it so content and alive. He also couldn't stand that Akane was happy, but that was minor in comparison. This time though, his hopes rose.
Ranma (present) had been looking around the corner for too long. He had regained his senses long before the others and decided to enjoy the ensuing argument that he believed this dojo turned house so needed. He was frankly quite shocked by what he had seen, himself.
However, he hadn't caught much of what had happened beyond that many flowers appeared to be crouching under the might of Ryoga's ample smile. He also hadn't noticed that Genma and Happosaii had ducked out of sight again.
"So, who is hiding around the corner waiting for me?" asked Ranma. He expected Ryoga to get very angry with Akane for waiting for him. At this Ranma (present) ran. Ranma (future) quickly lost sight of the figure, and to completely annoy Ranma (future), Ryoga's face moved to curious anger instead of the hollowing anguish that normally overtook him. Ryoga walked firmly around the corner to see Ranma trying to run for it.
Ryoga bounded over and grabbed him. "Akane's gone out, so there is no point in trying to catch a glimpse at her," said Ryoga as if to rub the defeat into Ranma's face with a sponge. "I can't believe you would reveal what you were about to do. That's dumb, even for you." Ryoga was then caught by surprise by a fist flying towards him. He blocked it in his normal way, to move slightly further away from the miss-aimed volley, but the fist hit him square in the face.
As he stumbled back, more in shock than pain, he heard Ranma from behind, "So, who you talking to? Seem to have gotten more than you asked for." A smirk passed unhindered across Ranma's (future) face.
Ryoga whirled around and saw Ranma mocking him with facial expression. "Where did you learn to do that?" demanded Ryoga.
"Learn what?" responded Ranma, tilting his head questioningly. The smile remained. He was greatly enjoying being let out again.
"To get past my defences. You just hit me straight between the eyes back there and got back on that wall in no time at all." His arms were beginning to loose control of where they were aimed. "You've not been able to do that in years. Where've you been training?"
"I didn't go around the house. I thought Akane was there trying to get a look in.," said Ranma as if Ryoga hadn't noticed what Ranma was up to. "She still likes me you know." His voice was more mystified than a meeting of the fortuneteller's union. His face could hardly contain the pride.
Suddenly filled with contempt Ryoga hollered, "No she doesn't!" He regained his composure when he realized that this was exactly what Ranma had wanted him to do. 'Damn. I need to stop falling for those tricks,' thought Ryoga.
"Come on out whoever you are. Anyone who can hit Ryoga is a friend of mine," said Ranma, mustering all of the friendship he could. He glanced inquisitively around the corner.
The multicolour panda had managed to free himself of the tyrannical reign of the children that had recently re-concentrated their efforts to the destruction of valuable artwork. He made his way around the side of the house towards where Ryoga had been hit. He found that Happosaii had had the same idea. The two walked on around the house without even trying to be secretive. The two had come to an agreement sometime ago and they now generally ignored each other so as to conserve their energy for the children. However a bond had formed between the two tormented souls in a similar way that a bond is formed between two enemies both locked in the same cell, one of similar predicament, not true friendship. As they made it to their destination they were surprised to see themselves walking around the building, but this didn't bother them much.
Happosaii hurried forward to attempt to follow the two, but it was the tamed pet that had removed the mirror from its disregard. The panda nestled it against his drying chest and joyfully presented, 'Look what I found!' The two chuckled conspiratorially and proceeded to the emptiest portion of the garden, a purpose now burning from the two that could keep all the fire fighters in Japan busy for weeks.
****
Ranma (present) stepped unwillingly onto the open lawn. Happosaii and Genma followed, still in tears, but coming over the initial shock of temporal anomaly. Ranma (present) looked up to himself, now getting a better look. He couldn't quite make up his mind though.
On the wall sat the same red top as had been worn for a couple years, and it showed through the fade of the colour and the numerous somehow expertly sewn patches. Hair was strewn across the man's head, the pigtail only barely surviving its disordered grasp. The face was dirty and marred by vigorous travels and angry shopkeepers.
The Ranma on the wall was actually quite unaffected by the appearance of himself. He didn't know that he had ever done this, but the idea had often occurred to him. 'Cologne, I'll.' picketed through his mind in its well- rehearsed petition but was broken up before it could continue further.
Ryoga was failing to comprehend what was happening on his otherwise peaceful lawn. He didn't even notice when Ukyo joined them.
"What's happening Ranma hon." and she fell off continuing a sharp arc onto the ground. She quickly adopted the stance of the mental injured, only balanced on her head.
Ukyo had jumped up because Ranma had been gone quite a while longer than was usual. By now he was usually twitching a hole in the street in response to a blast of energy that could bring a supernova to tears. She had been wishing that Ranma had, for once, hit Ryoga when she noticed that the local masonry was intact, so she leaped up to marvel at this new spectacle. Sadly her brain ceased normal operations in the middle of this jump, as she comprehended the presence of two Ranmas.
"Time for oh so yum yum dinner made by loving fiancée!" called Shampoo, with the edge of spite missing for once. Ukyo had left a minute ago, but she hadn't come back with Ranma's cadaver as par usual. 'Has he finally defeated that Ryoga?' thought Shampoo as made her way along the wall towards the noises. She looked out onto the mostly cheery lawn to see Ukyo imitating a camel below her love. This gave her some pleasure but she was too well trained to stop and admire this spectacle. Ryoga had his finger shaking in the general direction of the house. His mouth was flapping, but made less noise than red shirt on the second day of an away mission. (Star Trek reference there you lot.) Beside the house a figure was casually leaning, staring up at the sky patiently. There was something familiar about him. At this point, Shampoo's subconscious was hit by the freight train of temporal anomaly and she lost all memory of what followed.
****
"So, what's wrong with you?" said Ranma (present).
"Where did you come from?" asked Ryoga, though he didn't want to know.
"There," responded Ranma sarcastically, indicating the reservoir next to the house. "What are you doing with Akane? She's my fiancée when last I checked."
"That's something I would also like to know," added Ranma (future) with a much more refined sarcasm.
Slowly Ryoga's brain managed to begin to ignore his surroundings. He eventually responded, "I won her fair and square. You were dumb enough to put her up as a prize in a competition. I won the competition." Ryoga had now managed to completely regain his composure, regardless of the rather loud explanation of every aspect of Okinomiyaki that Ukyo was giving to flora and fauna.
"How did you ever beat me?" inquired Ranma (present), subconsciously adding an edge. His fury was clearly building.
"Add some sauce at this point!" exclaimed Ukyo.
"That is something else that I would like to know."
"Devour your Okinomiyaki in one half bite!" said a swaying Ukyo.
Shampoo added, "Bwak!"
A battle aura is a concentration of the feeling within a person into an easy to use all-purpose haze. Japanese persons are particularly good at channelling their feelings into the small section of their brain that can produce the EM fields required to produce such an aura. Anger, jealousy, and vengeance are the most efficient emotions at reaching this section of the brain and produce the strongest auras. Proof of this theorem could be provided by the large lights display that is about to flash before the eyes of any passers-by of the Tendo dojo, circa 2000 AD.
****
Genma and Happosaii (present) realized that this wasn't the best place to be alive for the moment.
"No point in wasting my time here," said Happosaii cheerily, "Might as well get to work." He disappeared stealthily down the corridor towards the stairs. Genma was beginning to overcome the anguish brought on by the proof that all his years of work to marry his son and one of his friend's daughters had failed utterly. He had produced little faults in the original plan over the years, but never actually failed. However, he didn't want to interfere with this husband until he knew a little more about the situation and could use that little attack of his involving blackmail. He walked unnoticed into the lounge to study the splash of photos covering the walls and work out what really happened over the last ten years. He also wanted to find a shopping catalogue to find out who had developed that wonderful blender he had seen earlier.
'If there is more of this wondrous equipment around I might be able to live with the problems.'
****
"I still don't get what you're saying. Can you explain it any differently?" asked the now thoroughly confused Ryoga.
"I get what he's saying you dimwit." Ranma (future) was loving every moment of Ryoga's torture and wasn't about to let it stop. He barely ducked away from a ballistic rock that Ryoga had just granted with momentum. However, Ryoga had missed not because Ranma had dodged it (Ranma had in fact moved closer to it); Ryoga hadn't aimed the rock at all. Ryoga hadn't even looked as he threw the rock. He hadn't even chosen the special rock for whenever Ranma showed up; the one that could bring an Islamic terrorist to tears for its sheer volume of menacing edges.
Ryoga's brain was currently doing the equivalent of trying to calculate the number of atoms in, oh, a decently sized galaxy with only a piece of paper, a pen, and a faulty microscope. He couldn't grasp the immense, though insignificant, differences that were between the parallel time lines. (Mirror Rule: All changes made to time are kept in separate, parallel time lines until all current users of the mirror are back to what they believe is their starting time, whereupon all changes are enacted upon the users, though all memories are retained.)
Ranma had explained his life story twice already and was getting tired of it. He could understand why Ryoga had managed to beaten him this time around, but did it matter that much? He removed his head from his hand only to see Ukyo sprawled against the wall in a way that would normally be reserved for skilled/stupid contortionists. She had fainted after attempting to eat the rocks around the pool and hadn't yet awaked, but her hands had managed to subconsciously drop the middle and ring fingers. Ranma (future) was grinning broader than a man who had cheated death twice in the same minute.
"Ha!" interjected Ranma (future). He stuck his tongue out and happily added, "Missed me you stupid idiot!" Ryoga was momentarily pulled out of his lapse of concentration to throw a much larger, more aerodynamic rock straight at Ranma's head. The rock firmly embedded itself into Ranma's cranium, as did the grin.
"Err," grunted Ryoga. He abruptly turned to the less injured Ranma, demanding, "Alright, I don't know what is different in your time but I've beaten you here and I can beat you again!" A new purpose burned through Ryoga in a way similar to how a fire burns through a field of dry grass. He saw that he could defeat all Ranma's in the universe and gain Ranma's power. This purpose flew from him when Ranma kicked him flat in the face.
He wasn't hurt, but the blow took a large chunk of pride with it, seeming to add to Ranma's. This also meant that fields of dry grass across the world breathed a sigh of relief.
'I've always been able to read Ranma like a book, but this Ranma had just hit me without any of his usual signs of attacking' (usually getting rather mad and running at him like a insane bull that had just noticed a cult of maidens clothed in billowing crimson cloaks had just walked into his pen classified as this sign).
Ryoga jumped effortlessly across the lawn and adopted a loose, omnipotent posture. "Ok then. I shall fight you. You are better than the you who is you because you caused this you to be you in the first place by your actions, but-" Ryoga thought about what he had just said for a moment but was derailed by Ranma's cry, "Oh just shut up and fight!" Ranma ran for the casual Ryoga, a rage building in him for reasons that he had yet to fathom. Ryoga responded swiftly.
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Well, isn't that a wonderful place to stop, but I though that eight pages was enough, so I've split this chapter in two. Well, not much to say really. Hope you lot are enjoying this, but if you weren't you wouldn't be reading this. Well, unless you like self-torture (The author of this story does not express any views about self-induced injury.).
Um.
Ah.
Read the next bit! It's more interesting than this is! Go on! NOW!
Oh, BTW, give me some feedback at ye olde address: tripleplay97@yahoo.com Death threats aren't accepted there though, use this instead: sod.off@dontgiveadamn.com
Ryoga
P.S. I hope that last e-mail doesn't really work.
Mirror Rule #2: Should a tear happen to fall onto the glass from a person other than that holding the mirror a gateway is opened to a wish that is slightly less desired.
The standard disclaimer of "I'm innocently stealing here" applies. Direct any inconsistencies to your shoes. They need a friend. Enjoy!
-Ryoga
How Not to Use Your Amazonian Artifact: CHAPTER TWO- The Great Ryoga
This instalment brought to you by a twig, without which the pavement would be empty. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
"Huh?" - A Great Man
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------
The tiled floor gleamed at them in welcoming reassurance. Around them, various appliances sat, happily reflecting the sunlight at them in a variety of cheery ways. The paper door stood closed, but let the light flit across the floor with pleasure. The whole room gave the impression of being out of a children's television program, except for the three travellers in a pile in the middle of the room, which looked like a heap of disregarded seaweed.
A soft voice and footsteps awoke the lot of them from various dreams. They leaped into an open closet and held the door open slightly. A woman in her mid-twenties opened the door slowly and looked questioningly into the room. She lightly edged into the room and peered around the very familiar surroundings. She thought out loud, "I could have sworn I heard something," but just then a far off voice called and much louder and with much more enthusiasm she responded, "Coming honey!"
She nimbly stepped out, slid the door closed, and walked off down the hall, which was lucky because at this point three travellers fell out of the closet and out onto the floor in a very un-neat way. They ambled up and fully absorbed the room, which Genma's brain gleefully recognised as a kitchen.
It is worth mentioning that all three of them have so far failed to process the image of the woman that they just saw. If they had, they might have had a bit more insight into their current situation.
"Where are we?" asked Ranma, proving that point.
"Ha! It worked!" said Happosaii with a far too large grin. "We're ten years in the future. Me and Akane have become an item."
"And how do you know that?"
Genma interrupted, "Just look at the kitchen equipment! It's all so different. That blender there is far too small and just look at this stove! Where's the gas?"
"Oh alright," said Ranma, who had already accumulated a small pile of food and was stuffing it in a carrier bag he had found in a cupboard. 'Might as well be prepared for a long trip,' thought he and Genma simultaneously, who was now copying his son.
"We might as well see where we are," said Genma in his strong tone, "and when we are." Happosaii indicated that he already knew precisely when they were, but Genma ignored him. The lot of them walked out of the kitchen and made their way to the garden.
Genma announced, "We are, as the Master says, ten years in future from when we started all of this. This is also obviously the Tendo's dojo, and I imagine that the woman was Akane." Ranma, at last, began to think about that image. He quickly noticed that she had been ten years older, but her face was curved more towards a smile than the strains of anger. She was also slightly larger than the Akane that he knew, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. There was something basely wrong with that image.
The group prowled down the corridors of the dojo, aiming for the front door. They had to walk carefully on the heavily polished floors. Ranma even managed to hit his head on a hanging lamp. At the time he was too occupied in his usual practice of searching the floor for the small splinters, usually evidence of the last fight.
Genma was distraught when he saw the Shogi board lying outside the door, covered in dust. He couldn't think of what could make him just toss it aside like that. He would have at least used it for firewood!
The house was pretty much as they had left it but with subtle changes added. The stairs were still gleaming from constant cleaning, but they now carried about a decade's more worth of wear and tear. The walls were no longer filled with patches but were firm and built of intact planks of wood. The phone book was actually closed and on the shelf, not propped open to the 'Take Away' page as it usually was. The pairs of shoes at the door were a tad disconcerting, two large and three small pairs lay shining up at them.
'Where's my shoe cleaning twig?' thought Ranma.
They slowly made it into the garden, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. The garden had obviously been kept up. It was covered with flowers and the grass was actually green-green, not that well-treaded, dingy green. Soun had never truly worked outside, his art was martial not herbal. Nabiki could never be bothered. Akane had never seriously considered it. The idea had never occurred to Ranma or Genma, and Kasumi had enough on her hands, so their garden had remained rather plain with only a few low maintenance and cooking plants that Kasumi would tend with as she could. Happosaii, though, was instead noticing the lack of damage in the dojo. Life had obviously calmed down at the Tendo's in ten years.
Remembering his original purpose here, Happosaii began to slink around the house to find out where Akane had gone off. Ranma and Genma, however, were not going to allow him to go alone and followed him the long way around the house.
To their amazement, there was actually a bird in the birdhouse behind the dojo that had more often suited as a landing pad. Happosaii ducked under the dojo and scurried off to his favourite vantage point of the back garden. Ranma and Genma carefully followed the half buried mole to a corner of the house. From there they received a vantage point of the koi pond and a large section of wall. The patio had been extended so that they could also just make out the shape of the figures leaning there.
"I'll be going out to get dinner honey. Do you mind watching the kids?" asked Akane to an unknown person. She walked from the other side of the lawn and onto the patio. She leaned down towards the unknown figure. A series of jerks passed through Ranma. His face reverted to a look horror and amazement that would be appropriate when one is served rotten fish. Happosaii simply burned a hole through the wooden floor above him with a mist of red.
A couple people ambled out onto the lawn with her departure. "That's fine," responded an altogether more recognised voice, for Ranma anyway. Ranma peered around the corner and saw Akane walking away down the corridor towards where they had just been. Ranma's eyes widened and he quickly ducked. He had seen quite a lot when his eyes had gone wide, but he hadn't yet completely registered it.
Often when a person sees something that they don't believe, their brain takes its time and misfiles the information so that it is never found again. Ranma's brain was not very good at this, and the sight of Akane being happy, pretty, and planning to cook without everyone running away for various large mountain ranges in non-adjacent countries were three things he just couldn't miss-process.
Shortly after the gates creaked open and boomed shut they had all had to leap deeply under the house. Ranma had registered whom she had been talking to.
****
Genma had carefully watched Akane as she left and had noticed many things about her. She was humming as she walked. She had a different gait. He also noticed the glint and shape of one who has borne children. He may not have been around Nodka for long, but he had been able to notice those subtle changes. Happosaii decided to have a better look at the yard. Genma followed him.
Ranma was about to look around the corner to confirm his thoughts, but he noticed that Happosaii and Genma were staring wide-eyed at the koi pond. He picked himself up to get the same view as the other two and joined them in their peering. Not much distracted the freak or the old man.
His brain was so overwhelmed with this final sight that it gave up on most things, mainly his jaw and arms. Before committing more thinking power, his brain set his eye size to unreasonable and locked his knees as tightly as possible.
Genma began to cry and Happosaii looked as if he had just found out that all women of the world had just left the planet, with their undergarments. Ranma's brain confirmed the presence of Ryoga.
"Somebody shoot me." Facial expression had to be given up on now and his face simply drooped.
Before the group of flooded stone figures Ryoga was leaning back on the open wooden patio. Next to him sat a large, familiar panda that held the expression of one who has just lost their home to a suddenly re-routed train.
He was covered in graffiti and paint. At this moment a small little child was running wild over him with more paint, making an impressive rendition of a Picasso.
"Leave him alone. He's an old panda," said Ryoga calmly, not bothering to look over. Ryoga was too absorbed in life in general. Even thought the dojo was reasonably successful, he still preferred wearing his old travelling clothes. He had enough money to buy plenty new sets, but he had never managed to find an outfit that matched its durability and flexibility.
Next to the pond, a small huddled stack of clothes was sitting disregarded. However, when the second small assailant jumped it from the tree, it creaked up and a much aged and worn Happosaii appeared, attempting to convince the boy to leave. Happosaii hadn't seen the fallen form; he had been sulking for Akane. Now he fell into an all-out breakdown. His mouth was moving, but no sounds were coming out. A small lake was beginning to form under Genma. He obviously didn't appreciate art.
The chattering ball of energy seemed to argue with the rubbish heap until the boy on the panda gave up creating a multi million pound piece of art, discarding the brush into an often refilled bucket, and jumped them, forcing both to the ground, one in laughter, one in anguish.
At about this time Genma's crying had attracted Ryoga's attention. He curiously got up and was following a new river towards them when a figure that looked shaded even in the direct sunlight jumped onto the wall. This distracted him sufficiently to remove the newly formed shipping canal from his memory.
The figure crouched on the wall was obviously much older than Ranma. His hair was disregarded and matted emphasised by the faded multitude of rags the man wore. He looked as if he had been on an extended Ryogic trip. This was exactly what he had been doing for about four years now, after having been deposed from his most recent property acquisition. The shadow on the wall showed a mild grin, but was obviously trying very hard to keep it there.
With extreme smugness, Ryoga began, "My! How are you Ranma? I imagine that you have been having a good time." Ryoga's smile was now extending much too far.
"I'm doing well. How are you lot?" asked Ranma disgustedly. His voice carried not so much hatred but sounded more like he was talking to the person who had found his winning lottery ticket. Ranma couldn't stand the amount of resent Ryoga still had towards him, probably because he used to be the one doing that, or could ignore it.
"We're fine. I hope your still being accompanied?" Ryoga's smile was now to a point that it could cause stomach cramps at a three-metre range.
"Yes, I am," said Ranma. The sarcasm was now bubbling inside of him, ready to blow a large hole in Japan at any second. He quickly glanced around the inviting lawn. He wouldn't dare stand on the lawn, not with it so content and alive. He also couldn't stand that Akane was happy, but that was minor in comparison. This time though, his hopes rose.
Ranma (present) had been looking around the corner for too long. He had regained his senses long before the others and decided to enjoy the ensuing argument that he believed this dojo turned house so needed. He was frankly quite shocked by what he had seen, himself.
However, he hadn't caught much of what had happened beyond that many flowers appeared to be crouching under the might of Ryoga's ample smile. He also hadn't noticed that Genma and Happosaii had ducked out of sight again.
"So, who is hiding around the corner waiting for me?" asked Ranma. He expected Ryoga to get very angry with Akane for waiting for him. At this Ranma (present) ran. Ranma (future) quickly lost sight of the figure, and to completely annoy Ranma (future), Ryoga's face moved to curious anger instead of the hollowing anguish that normally overtook him. Ryoga walked firmly around the corner to see Ranma trying to run for it.
Ryoga bounded over and grabbed him. "Akane's gone out, so there is no point in trying to catch a glimpse at her," said Ryoga as if to rub the defeat into Ranma's face with a sponge. "I can't believe you would reveal what you were about to do. That's dumb, even for you." Ryoga was then caught by surprise by a fist flying towards him. He blocked it in his normal way, to move slightly further away from the miss-aimed volley, but the fist hit him square in the face.
As he stumbled back, more in shock than pain, he heard Ranma from behind, "So, who you talking to? Seem to have gotten more than you asked for." A smirk passed unhindered across Ranma's (future) face.
Ryoga whirled around and saw Ranma mocking him with facial expression. "Where did you learn to do that?" demanded Ryoga.
"Learn what?" responded Ranma, tilting his head questioningly. The smile remained. He was greatly enjoying being let out again.
"To get past my defences. You just hit me straight between the eyes back there and got back on that wall in no time at all." His arms were beginning to loose control of where they were aimed. "You've not been able to do that in years. Where've you been training?"
"I didn't go around the house. I thought Akane was there trying to get a look in.," said Ranma as if Ryoga hadn't noticed what Ranma was up to. "She still likes me you know." His voice was more mystified than a meeting of the fortuneteller's union. His face could hardly contain the pride.
Suddenly filled with contempt Ryoga hollered, "No she doesn't!" He regained his composure when he realized that this was exactly what Ranma had wanted him to do. 'Damn. I need to stop falling for those tricks,' thought Ryoga.
"Come on out whoever you are. Anyone who can hit Ryoga is a friend of mine," said Ranma, mustering all of the friendship he could. He glanced inquisitively around the corner.
The multicolour panda had managed to free himself of the tyrannical reign of the children that had recently re-concentrated their efforts to the destruction of valuable artwork. He made his way around the side of the house towards where Ryoga had been hit. He found that Happosaii had had the same idea. The two walked on around the house without even trying to be secretive. The two had come to an agreement sometime ago and they now generally ignored each other so as to conserve their energy for the children. However a bond had formed between the two tormented souls in a similar way that a bond is formed between two enemies both locked in the same cell, one of similar predicament, not true friendship. As they made it to their destination they were surprised to see themselves walking around the building, but this didn't bother them much.
Happosaii hurried forward to attempt to follow the two, but it was the tamed pet that had removed the mirror from its disregard. The panda nestled it against his drying chest and joyfully presented, 'Look what I found!' The two chuckled conspiratorially and proceeded to the emptiest portion of the garden, a purpose now burning from the two that could keep all the fire fighters in Japan busy for weeks.
****
Ranma (present) stepped unwillingly onto the open lawn. Happosaii and Genma followed, still in tears, but coming over the initial shock of temporal anomaly. Ranma (present) looked up to himself, now getting a better look. He couldn't quite make up his mind though.
On the wall sat the same red top as had been worn for a couple years, and it showed through the fade of the colour and the numerous somehow expertly sewn patches. Hair was strewn across the man's head, the pigtail only barely surviving its disordered grasp. The face was dirty and marred by vigorous travels and angry shopkeepers.
The Ranma on the wall was actually quite unaffected by the appearance of himself. He didn't know that he had ever done this, but the idea had often occurred to him. 'Cologne, I'll.' picketed through his mind in its well- rehearsed petition but was broken up before it could continue further.
Ryoga was failing to comprehend what was happening on his otherwise peaceful lawn. He didn't even notice when Ukyo joined them.
"What's happening Ranma hon." and she fell off continuing a sharp arc onto the ground. She quickly adopted the stance of the mental injured, only balanced on her head.
Ukyo had jumped up because Ranma had been gone quite a while longer than was usual. By now he was usually twitching a hole in the street in response to a blast of energy that could bring a supernova to tears. She had been wishing that Ranma had, for once, hit Ryoga when she noticed that the local masonry was intact, so she leaped up to marvel at this new spectacle. Sadly her brain ceased normal operations in the middle of this jump, as she comprehended the presence of two Ranmas.
"Time for oh so yum yum dinner made by loving fiancée!" called Shampoo, with the edge of spite missing for once. Ukyo had left a minute ago, but she hadn't come back with Ranma's cadaver as par usual. 'Has he finally defeated that Ryoga?' thought Shampoo as made her way along the wall towards the noises. She looked out onto the mostly cheery lawn to see Ukyo imitating a camel below her love. This gave her some pleasure but she was too well trained to stop and admire this spectacle. Ryoga had his finger shaking in the general direction of the house. His mouth was flapping, but made less noise than red shirt on the second day of an away mission. (Star Trek reference there you lot.) Beside the house a figure was casually leaning, staring up at the sky patiently. There was something familiar about him. At this point, Shampoo's subconscious was hit by the freight train of temporal anomaly and she lost all memory of what followed.
****
"So, what's wrong with you?" said Ranma (present).
"Where did you come from?" asked Ryoga, though he didn't want to know.
"There," responded Ranma sarcastically, indicating the reservoir next to the house. "What are you doing with Akane? She's my fiancée when last I checked."
"That's something I would also like to know," added Ranma (future) with a much more refined sarcasm.
Slowly Ryoga's brain managed to begin to ignore his surroundings. He eventually responded, "I won her fair and square. You were dumb enough to put her up as a prize in a competition. I won the competition." Ryoga had now managed to completely regain his composure, regardless of the rather loud explanation of every aspect of Okinomiyaki that Ukyo was giving to flora and fauna.
"How did you ever beat me?" inquired Ranma (present), subconsciously adding an edge. His fury was clearly building.
"Add some sauce at this point!" exclaimed Ukyo.
"That is something else that I would like to know."
"Devour your Okinomiyaki in one half bite!" said a swaying Ukyo.
Shampoo added, "Bwak!"
A battle aura is a concentration of the feeling within a person into an easy to use all-purpose haze. Japanese persons are particularly good at channelling their feelings into the small section of their brain that can produce the EM fields required to produce such an aura. Anger, jealousy, and vengeance are the most efficient emotions at reaching this section of the brain and produce the strongest auras. Proof of this theorem could be provided by the large lights display that is about to flash before the eyes of any passers-by of the Tendo dojo, circa 2000 AD.
****
Genma and Happosaii (present) realized that this wasn't the best place to be alive for the moment.
"No point in wasting my time here," said Happosaii cheerily, "Might as well get to work." He disappeared stealthily down the corridor towards the stairs. Genma was beginning to overcome the anguish brought on by the proof that all his years of work to marry his son and one of his friend's daughters had failed utterly. He had produced little faults in the original plan over the years, but never actually failed. However, he didn't want to interfere with this husband until he knew a little more about the situation and could use that little attack of his involving blackmail. He walked unnoticed into the lounge to study the splash of photos covering the walls and work out what really happened over the last ten years. He also wanted to find a shopping catalogue to find out who had developed that wonderful blender he had seen earlier.
'If there is more of this wondrous equipment around I might be able to live with the problems.'
****
"I still don't get what you're saying. Can you explain it any differently?" asked the now thoroughly confused Ryoga.
"I get what he's saying you dimwit." Ranma (future) was loving every moment of Ryoga's torture and wasn't about to let it stop. He barely ducked away from a ballistic rock that Ryoga had just granted with momentum. However, Ryoga had missed not because Ranma had dodged it (Ranma had in fact moved closer to it); Ryoga hadn't aimed the rock at all. Ryoga hadn't even looked as he threw the rock. He hadn't even chosen the special rock for whenever Ranma showed up; the one that could bring an Islamic terrorist to tears for its sheer volume of menacing edges.
Ryoga's brain was currently doing the equivalent of trying to calculate the number of atoms in, oh, a decently sized galaxy with only a piece of paper, a pen, and a faulty microscope. He couldn't grasp the immense, though insignificant, differences that were between the parallel time lines. (Mirror Rule: All changes made to time are kept in separate, parallel time lines until all current users of the mirror are back to what they believe is their starting time, whereupon all changes are enacted upon the users, though all memories are retained.)
Ranma had explained his life story twice already and was getting tired of it. He could understand why Ryoga had managed to beaten him this time around, but did it matter that much? He removed his head from his hand only to see Ukyo sprawled against the wall in a way that would normally be reserved for skilled/stupid contortionists. She had fainted after attempting to eat the rocks around the pool and hadn't yet awaked, but her hands had managed to subconsciously drop the middle and ring fingers. Ranma (future) was grinning broader than a man who had cheated death twice in the same minute.
"Ha!" interjected Ranma (future). He stuck his tongue out and happily added, "Missed me you stupid idiot!" Ryoga was momentarily pulled out of his lapse of concentration to throw a much larger, more aerodynamic rock straight at Ranma's head. The rock firmly embedded itself into Ranma's cranium, as did the grin.
"Err," grunted Ryoga. He abruptly turned to the less injured Ranma, demanding, "Alright, I don't know what is different in your time but I've beaten you here and I can beat you again!" A new purpose burned through Ryoga in a way similar to how a fire burns through a field of dry grass. He saw that he could defeat all Ranma's in the universe and gain Ranma's power. This purpose flew from him when Ranma kicked him flat in the face.
He wasn't hurt, but the blow took a large chunk of pride with it, seeming to add to Ranma's. This also meant that fields of dry grass across the world breathed a sigh of relief.
'I've always been able to read Ranma like a book, but this Ranma had just hit me without any of his usual signs of attacking' (usually getting rather mad and running at him like a insane bull that had just noticed a cult of maidens clothed in billowing crimson cloaks had just walked into his pen classified as this sign).
Ryoga jumped effortlessly across the lawn and adopted a loose, omnipotent posture. "Ok then. I shall fight you. You are better than the you who is you because you caused this you to be you in the first place by your actions, but-" Ryoga thought about what he had just said for a moment but was derailed by Ranma's cry, "Oh just shut up and fight!" Ranma ran for the casual Ryoga, a rage building in him for reasons that he had yet to fathom. Ryoga responded swiftly.
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Well, isn't that a wonderful place to stop, but I though that eight pages was enough, so I've split this chapter in two. Well, not much to say really. Hope you lot are enjoying this, but if you weren't you wouldn't be reading this. Well, unless you like self-torture (The author of this story does not express any views about self-induced injury.).
Um.
Ah.
Read the next bit! It's more interesting than this is! Go on! NOW!
Oh, BTW, give me some feedback at ye olde address: tripleplay97@yahoo.com Death threats aren't accepted there though, use this instead: sod.off@dontgiveadamn.com
Ryoga
P.S. I hope that last e-mail doesn't really work.
Mirror Rule #2: Should a tear happen to fall onto the glass from a person other than that holding the mirror a gateway is opened to a wish that is slightly less desired.