Ah, the wonderful cut/paste button. What wonders it can perform. Plagarism
wouldn't be the same without it.
Anyway, we're back again with Ranma, Genma, and Happosaii from episode 24 of Season 3, stuck ten years in the future (which happens to be a couple years back for us. Isn't time lovely?). Ranma is currently having some fun with himself and Ryoga in a painful way (if you are thinking dirt already I recommend you leave now or suffer great disappointment). Akane is shopping, Genma is searching, and Happosaii is, is, is, well, you don't know now, do you? (Hehehehehehehe) Enjoy!
Ryoga
P.S. Find the cameo from Liam Mills (mate) and win something!
How Not to Use Your Amazonian Artifact: CHAPTER THREE- Why Not to Leave Home
This instalment brought to you by Macintosh without which Mr. Gates would have no foe.
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"A million words can be contained in a picture. However, it can take all the words in the world to express a single feeling." - Anonymous
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Genma had finished scanning the staircase and was now working his way through the upstairs bedrooms and hall. What he had seen so far wasn't very reassuring or useful. The pictures he remembered were still there but the new additions were just disturbing. It seemed that Ryoga taken an extra two years to show up initially and challenge Ranma, and he had shown up with Shampoo for unfathomable reasons. The pictures of Ranma in hospital afterwards showed the aftermath. However, Ryoga had been next to him sharing the postures reserved for only the most desperate human rights flyers.
Another year on and a picture of Ryoga and Akane (now 19) getting married showed on the wall, so Ryoga had obviously fought again later and won. Ryoga was very pleased with himself, almost smug. Akane seemed to be trying to make the best of a bad situation. Genma, though, couldn't work out why all of Ryoga's guests were heavily armed women. Though Soun didn't feature in that picture, he was obviously nearby to create the stream that Akane was standing in.
After that a picture of a retirement home showed where Kasumi (it's owner, based upon the name on the door) and Soun had ended up soon afterwards. Nabiki, in contrast, seemed to have gotten away from the house before Soun had broken down and was a successful businesswoman. She still thought of home though, since her room was covered with memorabilia from all of the locations across the world she had visited: London, New York, Paris, Peckham, Hong Kong, Los Angles, Orlando, Singapore. She was also shown with Kuno in some of these pictures, who appeared to be in charge of her company, but any relationship beyond that was impossible to tell from the pictures alone. His and her facial expressions varied from picture to picture, but why one could only guess. Genma did try to open a small safe under Nabiki's bed; he needed money; however, he didn't succeed beyond a small crack revealing a large collection of creased glossy paper and small boxes that Genma couldn't recognise for any monetary purpose. He continued on across the rooms, a very bleak picture of history forming before him.
'Where was I?'
****
The day had been good and was going remain that way. She had woken up and she had been happy. She had made breakfast and she had been happy. She had made it through the morning and she had been happy. Now she was coming back from shopping and she would be happy. Some strange things had been happening today, but she was happy. She could have sworn that there had been someone in the kitchen before she had left, but she ignored it and was happy. In the street a heavily cloaked woman had run into her but when she saw her, the woman had just run off in another direction. She couldn't find anything missing, but that woman must have taken something or she wouldn't have run. Anyway, why would such a good-looking woman be so covered up on such a happy day? However, she had been happy regardless.
A short, old woman had run up to her and demanded to know what she was doing away from the camp and out among people, but this woman had stopped in mid sentence and apologized in a forgiving, wavering voice, "I'm sorry to bother you. I thought you were someone else." She had remained happy and she would be happy. Later in the day a particularly tall (for Japan) man appeared suddenly around a corner and announced, "I'm implying I've got a massive-," but was cut off by a slightly shorter man wrestling him into a pile of rubbish. All of this went through Akane's mind in a very confused tornado. She looked down at Shampoo and wondered why she was clucking loudly.
Akane had been having some problems whenever Ranma and his following appeared. She had never quite gotten over Ranma despite him losing that battle to Ryoga. She never knew why he had been so dumb as to do that; he didn't even know Ryoga that well, why was he so determined? But, she had learned to deal with it. However, whenever Ranma came around again and got beaten to jelly-like consistency her feelings would reappear with more force than her beloved mallet.
It seemed that whilst together feelings existed only in a code that made enigma look childish, but when apart they were set free like a dog placed in a dog food factory.
Akane attempted to ignore Shampoo, though she couldn't help but wonder if chicken would be good for tonight's dinner. To her surprise, Genma, as a man (which he hadn't bothered to be in about three years) and Happosaii were huddled over something small and arguing about something else. She paused for a moment at the gate to marvel at the spectacle before her, but they paid her no attention.
She walked into the house. She dropped her shopping in the heavily ordered cabinets and tidied up a bit before a crash distracted her from the meagre layer of dust on top of the fridge.
She stowed the brush away in a recess of the cupboard that could make a fly feel cramped and walked out of the room, ducking under the faded, tattered cloth hanging down over the doorway. She walked down the hall towards the living room. There was someone large moving around in there and she didn't know of anyone that would be in there on a day like this.
The door was ajar. She peered cautiously around the corner, much like a cat looks for a loving hand and therefore scratch, into the room. She was greatly relived to see that it was only the Panda. He was inspecting the pictures, though at a level of thoughtfulness that Akane never thought the demi-tramp could reach. The thought of how Genma had changed back and managed to get into the room unnoticed never managed to cross her mind.
"You're awfully sentimental today," cooed Akane as she slipped into the room. The panda jumped back to face her and assumed 'I-didn't-do-it' posture #2. He held up a sign proclaiming, 'I appear to have lost my way." Then he skipped innocently out of the door, out of sight. This took Akane by surprise. Genma hadn't been that happy in ages.
'Never mind,' she thought and followed him out into the yard. What she saw surprised her even more.
She looked out onto the lawn expecting to see her Ryoga and children happily playing on the lawn. Possibly even Happosaii desperately attempting to escape the boy's little games (which would prompt Akane to place him back within the circle of joy). Her children were happy, but not because they were playing.
They were sitting on the edge of the pond cheering, "Daddy! Daddy!" The panda had just skipped around the corner of the house. Her eyes moved across to Ukyo, who was lifting her self off the ground in a daze, spitting out the half a boulder in her mouth. It looked as if she had just woken up from a rather bad dream. Ranma was sitting on the wall looking very pleased at something in the lawn. Intrigued, she looked down to see Ranma with his foot in Ryoga's face and Ryoga's fist being held back by one of Ranma's hands.
"Ranma!" cried Akane neutrally. Both Ranma's turned and in unison, "This is my fight. Stay out of it." Ranma (future) turned and paid his full attention to the battle going on. He obviously, to Akane, wanted to be fighting but knew he couldn't, yet. His eyes bore what his face wasn't allowed to. The other Ranma was battling with all the ferocity of starved ten limed mother grizzly bear. Ukyo had righted herself and was feeling very worried about these events. 'She obviously hasn't realised who was fighting,' thought Akane.
Somehow she immediately knew what had happened. 'I wonder how they got it off the runt?' she asked herself.
Ryoga kicked up the arch of Ranma's legs. Ranma swivelled onto one foot and sent his right hand straight at Ryoga's stomach. Ryoga swerved, but Ranma corrected and hit home. The blow didn't affect Ryoga badly.
'Must still be resistant,' thought Ranma. Ranma dodged a barrage of punches and delivered a swipe of his leg across the knees, which caused some reaction in Ryoga. Ryoga was annoyed by this and back flipped over Ranma, turning around in mid-air. Ranma jumped straight up as Ryoga was doing this and hit him in the jaw with both fists.
"Well, maybe you are worth fighting!" said Ryoga smugly despite his muffled speech from a yard away.
"I am already fighting and beating you, you idiot!" informed Ranma as he forced his hand into Ryoga's face again.
"Argh!!!" yelled Ryoga in determination as he did something that Ranma didn't think he could. The freight train that was mentioned earlier reared its ugly boiler again.
Ranma was quite surprised that Ryoga had learned this attack. Beyond the Bakkusai Tenketsu Ryoga had never succeeded in learning a technique to date, but this one obviously had. Ranma had to respond to the Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire technique by mimicking to block Ryoga's punches. Managing, however, to deliver some hits to Ryoga as well by blocking two close strikes with one arm.
To someone watching it looked as if the two's arms had become interlocked, but eventually Ryoga blasted away from Ranma and landed nimbly on the edge of the pond.
"You won't stop me with just that!" Ryoga's voice contained as much anger as the emperor of China had when he realised that that wall he had spent the last century building had a hole or two in it.
"When did you learn how to do that? An unstable jerk like you shouldn't know a dangerous move like that!"
"Look who's talking! I wouldn't go around-" Ryoga was stopped by a foot forcing him into the pond. Ranma had enough speed to continue over the pond and landed on the wet border. He turned around and smiled as he admired the small black piglet emerge from the water and lug its way out of its soaking clothes.
Smiling far too broadly, Ranma (future) said, "I haven't managed to do that in ages." His smile was not quite as broad as before but still sufficient enough to make the Cheshire cat look as if it was frowning.
Ranma (present) added, "Well, it's good to see that one thing is the same."
Ryoga finished, "Oink."
Akane had been watching all of his with a measured concern and had brought the emergency kettle. She used it on Ryoga and, in her new (patent applied for) calming voice said, "Come on honey. Don't be so angry."
Ranma (future)'s smile quavered slightly as Akane poured the contents of the kettle onto the pig. Ranma (present) stood in his 'I-am-much-much-much- better-than-you-and-you-know-it' posture. Ryoga was quite put out by the smugness that emanated off of both Ranma's like waves from a boulder thrown into a pond.
Ryoga stood up and thought about what to do for a moment. Then he announced with careful pace, "The fight has just begun. You shall not survive any longer. I underestimated you due to your counterpart's inability to be more useful than this (indicating a patch of slightly browned grass). Prepare to die."
Ryoga slowly stepped parallel to Ranma, about two metres away. Ryoga stared at Ranma who just looked sceptically back. Ryoga bowed his head and allowed inner peace to overcome him. Ranma was about to kick him again when Ryoga broke this peace.
"I was once as you described your Ryoga, lost, hopeless, and without order. I have been trained and am now at peace, but when necessary I break that peace and allow my power to run strong. Feel this power." His voice oozed with a level of hatred Ranma hadn't thought him capable of. This took Ranma by surprise, which wasn't good because it offset his leap at Ryoga's head. Luckily, this saved him from a rather painful explosion on the ground where he would have landed.
The ground was exploding in small bursts for no apparent reason across the garden. It was reminiscent of when a box of fireworks goes off. Ranma was dodging shrapnel constantly and it kept coming like a bee comes to someone with a terminal fear of insects. Ranma couldn't work out how Ryoga was doing this. He had always needed to at least touch the ground to destroy it. In fact, Ranma couldn't see Ryoga through the avalanche of dirt. Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and Ranma at last saw Ryoga, his index finger sitting at the ready to his side.
"Had enough yet?" asked Ryoga, enjoying every syllable.
"No," responded Ranma plainly.
"So be it." Ryoga blast his arm out repeatedly and jumped into the sanctuary of the tree to view his destruction. Wherever his finger had shot a new explosion formed. From his safety he set off more. Ryoga's maliciousness was overcoming him and, as with all megalomaniacs, he began to make mistakes. Ranma saw a lack of ground coming up to meet him down one side of the garden and made his way across an uneven path of airborne rocks there. In the short peace offered by this safe ground he saw Ryoga's perch. He made for the now jagged branches and forced Ryoga off of it into his own minefield. Ryoga's common sense returned to him like a boomerang returning to someone who just thought it was a stick.
Ryoga composed himself by the pond long enough for the dust to settle to three yards visibility. "You have evaded my distanced Bakkusai Tenketsu well, but can you evade this. It was developed over 3000 years of Chinese Amazon history and-"
"Don't you start that too," said Ranma distastefully. He blasted a punch into Ryoga's stomach forcing him to the revenged ground and rebounded off into the tree again.
"What do you mean too?" asked Ryoga as if he was talking to an idiot, which from his point of view, he was. "Anyway," the fury returned to his voice, "Now I shall show you real pain."
Ryoga aimed his arm at Ranma's head, filled it over, and jerked his wrist hard down. A blast cracked through the air, narrowly missing Ranma's head, but the ensuing bang and outwards blast got Ranma with much the same effect. Ranma (future) was now nowhere to be seen, as was Ukyo and Shampoo. The two boys had now started jumping up and down renewing their chants. Akane had taken a prime seat.
"What the hell was that?"
"That," responded Ryoga triumphantly, "is an attack of supreme," Ryoga shot Ranma again, but still missed, "power and skill." Another blast came nowhere near Ranma. "Just as the tree strikes back when it is blown by the wind, I strike back with vicious power. Feel the Lakotai Fukeni."
Author's Note: Proper Chinese for 'Swaying Tree' appreciated.
"What are you going on about?" asked Ranma flipping away from yet another blast like a cat jumping in front of a rat. The explosions were beginning to take their toll on Ranma and the tree. His mind set itself to a decision and he leaped for Ryoga just as he started another volley.
The plan worked perfectly. Ranma had seen that Ryoga was shooting the blasts from his hand, so he simply forced Ryoga's hand in on itself as he shot and savoured the effect. Ryoga gave a scream of pain comparable to if you had been half trampled to death by a herd of spike-footed buffalo. Ranma then engaged part two of the plan and gave Ryoga all of the Chestnut Fist he could muster. Surprisingly, Ryoga still had some fight in him and attacked back in the same way.
The two could not escape from or stop their attack or the other would destroy them utterly. The futile barrage went on for about a minute before either of them noticed that the ground around them had just started glowing and the next thing that either of them knew, they were flying up towards the stratosphere at an acceleration that could launch a space shuttle.
****
Akane couldn't stand to watch the two fight. When one had been much more skilled than the other the fights were short, quick, and harmless, but now Ryoga had such powerful attacks and the pain reception of a brick wall. Ranma had the resolve of Duct Tape and knew a trick or two of his own. A fight would never end between them without death.
After the Chestnut fist fight of doom began, though, Akane's mind was made up and she attacked the two of them with the only special skill she could think of that would be of any effect; the one that she only ever used on Kuno or Happosaii. Her anger grew as she charged towards the blur of appendages like a tank driven by a suicidal maniac.
Her fists glowing, she punched both of them with the Orbital Hit. The punch itself wasn't very strong. However, the ground beneath them glowed momentarily and the sound of high voltage screamed quickly to the ultrasonic. The two then abruptly disappeared into the sky.
"Well, it serves them right," said Akane as she pouted off into the house to her room. A hard, warm breeze followed her into the house, upsetting many pictures and newspapers in a pile on the table. The air sighed as it was allowed to expand again into the house.
****
"What the hell are you doing!" asked Akane, in a slightly high-pitched voice, to a panty warmer on her bed. He was smiling, self satisfied, and nurturing the precious underwear. He noticed her and leaped.
"Well, I only wanted to thank you for the presents," responded Happosaii with the tone of a two year old when he asks for a toy all of his friends have. She forced him with some difficulty off her ample chest and threw him onto the bed. To make it absolutely certain there was no doubt in the matter she followed that by a couple of strikes from a nearby sword.
Happosaii, though, had left, leaving a pillow very sad indeed.
"What's up with him all of a sudden?" asked a deeply breathing Akane at the doorway.
****
"Well, if you want anymore proof that this is the wrong place, that's it," said a shrunken figure, a finger pointed towards two points of light rapidly falling up the sky.
"Alright, we'll try again. Eventually we'll get here at the right time," said a determined voice.
"We will. We will. They cannot be allowed to get away with this heinous crime."
****
"I'm glad we ran for it. That battle was getting a bit to heated for my liking. Let's not return for a while. I doubt Ryoga will be happy to see me," panted Ranma as he ran at full speed in no apparent direction. Shampoo and Ukyo attempted to follow is haphazard path with the cart laden with equipment, but were rather failing. However, this was made up for in the fact that Ranma kept going around blocks five or six times before turning off, giving ample movement time.
"Me agree," responded Shampoo happily.
"OK," said a worried, tired Ukyo. They had forgotten the map and Ranma was in the lead. 'Damn,' thought Ukyo, 'If only he could be like that one that's fighting Ryoga.' Ukyo then ran into a streetlight as she double took a young man in a yellow shirt and braced legs. Ranma hadn't noticed him in his extensive study of the local geography.
****
Ranma had first been glad to get out of the never-ending attack. Then he noticed that the reason that he wasn't still in a stalemate with Ryoga was that Ryoga, being slightly heavier than Ranma, was not accelerating upwards as quickly as Ranma was. This didn't mean, though, that they weren't accelerating about as quickly upwards as a squirrel accelerates away from the front of a car. However, unlike the squirrel, which normally comes to an abrupt halt shortly thereafter, they kept going. Ryoga was quite unphased by the lack of solid ground beneath his feet.
Eventually the momentum spent itself and the two plummeted towards the outstretched hands of gravity. Ryoga gained even more air on Ranma. About 30 seconds from the ground, Ryoga suddenly pulled out his umbrella and coasted calmly to the ground.
Ranma began to panic. Following his previous patterns of luck, though, he happened upon a low flying plane full of beginning skydivers. Ranma fell onto the plane, quickly shimmed around into the door, much to the fright of everyone in the plane. He quickly picked up a discarded parachute and said quite plainly, "Sorry 'bout this. Hope you don't need it," and jumped out of the plane.
After landing on the neighbour's roof, discarding the parachute, and leaping his way back to the house, Ranma found Ryoga questioning Genma and a living piece of modern art; Akane attempting to put both Happosaii's on the same kebab rod, and the Happosaii (present) attempting to demonstrate a shape roughly the size of a watermelon to his counterpart, who was distinctly uninterested.
Ranma saw the glint of the mirror under a cold kettle and he knelt down to pick it up. Genma (future)'s eyes opened wide and he began to make every attempt to get away but was held back by Ryoga pouring hot water on his head from a different kettle and insisting on more answers from the cheating scumbag.
'Ah, he's finally got to know him well I see.'
Genma quietly stepped away from the resulting conversation and approached Ranma.
"Well, this is definitely a strange place. It appears that Ryoga has taken your place as Akane's bride after some sort of battle about seven years ago. You were greatly distressed and disappeared for quite a while. It seems Shampoo and Ukyo followed you out of pity and have been ever since," informed Genma, in a false whisper. "This needs to be fixed. If you hadn't beaten that boy up so long ago, this wouldn't be happening now!"
"ME!" exclaimed Ranma in disbelief. He quickly realised that no one liked this remark and he became very quiet. "If you hadn't gotten that bright idea we wouldn't be here right now in the first place."
"Forget whose fault it is boy and concentrate on how we're going to fix it."
"How are we going to get away without him (nodding at Happosaii) not noticing?"
"I'll set it off here and now." Genma pulled the onion from his pocket so carefully it could have been a bomb about to go off. He rubbed it in his eye. The tear fell. The hand of Happosaii intercepted the mirror. The tear missed.
"How dare you think of leaving me here!" proclaimed Happosaii.
"I never would of thought of it master. I was just about to call you," pleaded Genma falsely.
The others in the room had gathered around to see what the commotion was about.
"I knew it was my magic mirror!" announced Happosaii (future) proudly.
"It's what?" asked Akane and Ryoga in unified misunderstanding. The response did not reach them since them suddenly they all ceased to exist in the normal sense of the word. Genma's eye hadn't quite been done yet.
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Well, that's Part 3 done. I know it was long winded and the battle a tad short, but the story should begin to speed up a bit more now.
Where are they going now? How does the mirror know where to go? Who will they meet? Did everyone go or just the first three? Who is this group of people who are never at the right place? I don't know; stop asking! Read part 4 to find out!
- Ryoga
Mirror Rule #3: Until the wish that the mirror has given the opportunity to appease has been appeased, it shall not function properly. Please do not contact your local service provider.
Editor's Note: The problem with Cut & Paste is the author forgot to update the numbers! (Congruency).
Author's Response: That's your job, not mine!
Anyway, we're back again with Ranma, Genma, and Happosaii from episode 24 of Season 3, stuck ten years in the future (which happens to be a couple years back for us. Isn't time lovely?). Ranma is currently having some fun with himself and Ryoga in a painful way (if you are thinking dirt already I recommend you leave now or suffer great disappointment). Akane is shopping, Genma is searching, and Happosaii is, is, is, well, you don't know now, do you? (Hehehehehehehe) Enjoy!
Ryoga
P.S. Find the cameo from Liam Mills (mate) and win something!
How Not to Use Your Amazonian Artifact: CHAPTER THREE- Why Not to Leave Home
This instalment brought to you by Macintosh without which Mr. Gates would have no foe.
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"A million words can be contained in a picture. However, it can take all the words in the world to express a single feeling." - Anonymous
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Genma had finished scanning the staircase and was now working his way through the upstairs bedrooms and hall. What he had seen so far wasn't very reassuring or useful. The pictures he remembered were still there but the new additions were just disturbing. It seemed that Ryoga taken an extra two years to show up initially and challenge Ranma, and he had shown up with Shampoo for unfathomable reasons. The pictures of Ranma in hospital afterwards showed the aftermath. However, Ryoga had been next to him sharing the postures reserved for only the most desperate human rights flyers.
Another year on and a picture of Ryoga and Akane (now 19) getting married showed on the wall, so Ryoga had obviously fought again later and won. Ryoga was very pleased with himself, almost smug. Akane seemed to be trying to make the best of a bad situation. Genma, though, couldn't work out why all of Ryoga's guests were heavily armed women. Though Soun didn't feature in that picture, he was obviously nearby to create the stream that Akane was standing in.
After that a picture of a retirement home showed where Kasumi (it's owner, based upon the name on the door) and Soun had ended up soon afterwards. Nabiki, in contrast, seemed to have gotten away from the house before Soun had broken down and was a successful businesswoman. She still thought of home though, since her room was covered with memorabilia from all of the locations across the world she had visited: London, New York, Paris, Peckham, Hong Kong, Los Angles, Orlando, Singapore. She was also shown with Kuno in some of these pictures, who appeared to be in charge of her company, but any relationship beyond that was impossible to tell from the pictures alone. His and her facial expressions varied from picture to picture, but why one could only guess. Genma did try to open a small safe under Nabiki's bed; he needed money; however, he didn't succeed beyond a small crack revealing a large collection of creased glossy paper and small boxes that Genma couldn't recognise for any monetary purpose. He continued on across the rooms, a very bleak picture of history forming before him.
'Where was I?'
****
The day had been good and was going remain that way. She had woken up and she had been happy. She had made breakfast and she had been happy. She had made it through the morning and she had been happy. Now she was coming back from shopping and she would be happy. Some strange things had been happening today, but she was happy. She could have sworn that there had been someone in the kitchen before she had left, but she ignored it and was happy. In the street a heavily cloaked woman had run into her but when she saw her, the woman had just run off in another direction. She couldn't find anything missing, but that woman must have taken something or she wouldn't have run. Anyway, why would such a good-looking woman be so covered up on such a happy day? However, she had been happy regardless.
A short, old woman had run up to her and demanded to know what she was doing away from the camp and out among people, but this woman had stopped in mid sentence and apologized in a forgiving, wavering voice, "I'm sorry to bother you. I thought you were someone else." She had remained happy and she would be happy. Later in the day a particularly tall (for Japan) man appeared suddenly around a corner and announced, "I'm implying I've got a massive-," but was cut off by a slightly shorter man wrestling him into a pile of rubbish. All of this went through Akane's mind in a very confused tornado. She looked down at Shampoo and wondered why she was clucking loudly.
Akane had been having some problems whenever Ranma and his following appeared. She had never quite gotten over Ranma despite him losing that battle to Ryoga. She never knew why he had been so dumb as to do that; he didn't even know Ryoga that well, why was he so determined? But, she had learned to deal with it. However, whenever Ranma came around again and got beaten to jelly-like consistency her feelings would reappear with more force than her beloved mallet.
It seemed that whilst together feelings existed only in a code that made enigma look childish, but when apart they were set free like a dog placed in a dog food factory.
Akane attempted to ignore Shampoo, though she couldn't help but wonder if chicken would be good for tonight's dinner. To her surprise, Genma, as a man (which he hadn't bothered to be in about three years) and Happosaii were huddled over something small and arguing about something else. She paused for a moment at the gate to marvel at the spectacle before her, but they paid her no attention.
She walked into the house. She dropped her shopping in the heavily ordered cabinets and tidied up a bit before a crash distracted her from the meagre layer of dust on top of the fridge.
She stowed the brush away in a recess of the cupboard that could make a fly feel cramped and walked out of the room, ducking under the faded, tattered cloth hanging down over the doorway. She walked down the hall towards the living room. There was someone large moving around in there and she didn't know of anyone that would be in there on a day like this.
The door was ajar. She peered cautiously around the corner, much like a cat looks for a loving hand and therefore scratch, into the room. She was greatly relived to see that it was only the Panda. He was inspecting the pictures, though at a level of thoughtfulness that Akane never thought the demi-tramp could reach. The thought of how Genma had changed back and managed to get into the room unnoticed never managed to cross her mind.
"You're awfully sentimental today," cooed Akane as she slipped into the room. The panda jumped back to face her and assumed 'I-didn't-do-it' posture #2. He held up a sign proclaiming, 'I appear to have lost my way." Then he skipped innocently out of the door, out of sight. This took Akane by surprise. Genma hadn't been that happy in ages.
'Never mind,' she thought and followed him out into the yard. What she saw surprised her even more.
She looked out onto the lawn expecting to see her Ryoga and children happily playing on the lawn. Possibly even Happosaii desperately attempting to escape the boy's little games (which would prompt Akane to place him back within the circle of joy). Her children were happy, but not because they were playing.
They were sitting on the edge of the pond cheering, "Daddy! Daddy!" The panda had just skipped around the corner of the house. Her eyes moved across to Ukyo, who was lifting her self off the ground in a daze, spitting out the half a boulder in her mouth. It looked as if she had just woken up from a rather bad dream. Ranma was sitting on the wall looking very pleased at something in the lawn. Intrigued, she looked down to see Ranma with his foot in Ryoga's face and Ryoga's fist being held back by one of Ranma's hands.
"Ranma!" cried Akane neutrally. Both Ranma's turned and in unison, "This is my fight. Stay out of it." Ranma (future) turned and paid his full attention to the battle going on. He obviously, to Akane, wanted to be fighting but knew he couldn't, yet. His eyes bore what his face wasn't allowed to. The other Ranma was battling with all the ferocity of starved ten limed mother grizzly bear. Ukyo had righted herself and was feeling very worried about these events. 'She obviously hasn't realised who was fighting,' thought Akane.
Somehow she immediately knew what had happened. 'I wonder how they got it off the runt?' she asked herself.
Ryoga kicked up the arch of Ranma's legs. Ranma swivelled onto one foot and sent his right hand straight at Ryoga's stomach. Ryoga swerved, but Ranma corrected and hit home. The blow didn't affect Ryoga badly.
'Must still be resistant,' thought Ranma. Ranma dodged a barrage of punches and delivered a swipe of his leg across the knees, which caused some reaction in Ryoga. Ryoga was annoyed by this and back flipped over Ranma, turning around in mid-air. Ranma jumped straight up as Ryoga was doing this and hit him in the jaw with both fists.
"Well, maybe you are worth fighting!" said Ryoga smugly despite his muffled speech from a yard away.
"I am already fighting and beating you, you idiot!" informed Ranma as he forced his hand into Ryoga's face again.
"Argh!!!" yelled Ryoga in determination as he did something that Ranma didn't think he could. The freight train that was mentioned earlier reared its ugly boiler again.
Ranma was quite surprised that Ryoga had learned this attack. Beyond the Bakkusai Tenketsu Ryoga had never succeeded in learning a technique to date, but this one obviously had. Ranma had to respond to the Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire technique by mimicking to block Ryoga's punches. Managing, however, to deliver some hits to Ryoga as well by blocking two close strikes with one arm.
To someone watching it looked as if the two's arms had become interlocked, but eventually Ryoga blasted away from Ranma and landed nimbly on the edge of the pond.
"You won't stop me with just that!" Ryoga's voice contained as much anger as the emperor of China had when he realised that that wall he had spent the last century building had a hole or two in it.
"When did you learn how to do that? An unstable jerk like you shouldn't know a dangerous move like that!"
"Look who's talking! I wouldn't go around-" Ryoga was stopped by a foot forcing him into the pond. Ranma had enough speed to continue over the pond and landed on the wet border. He turned around and smiled as he admired the small black piglet emerge from the water and lug its way out of its soaking clothes.
Smiling far too broadly, Ranma (future) said, "I haven't managed to do that in ages." His smile was not quite as broad as before but still sufficient enough to make the Cheshire cat look as if it was frowning.
Ranma (present) added, "Well, it's good to see that one thing is the same."
Ryoga finished, "Oink."
Akane had been watching all of his with a measured concern and had brought the emergency kettle. She used it on Ryoga and, in her new (patent applied for) calming voice said, "Come on honey. Don't be so angry."
Ranma (future)'s smile quavered slightly as Akane poured the contents of the kettle onto the pig. Ranma (present) stood in his 'I-am-much-much-much- better-than-you-and-you-know-it' posture. Ryoga was quite put out by the smugness that emanated off of both Ranma's like waves from a boulder thrown into a pond.
Ryoga stood up and thought about what to do for a moment. Then he announced with careful pace, "The fight has just begun. You shall not survive any longer. I underestimated you due to your counterpart's inability to be more useful than this (indicating a patch of slightly browned grass). Prepare to die."
Ryoga slowly stepped parallel to Ranma, about two metres away. Ryoga stared at Ranma who just looked sceptically back. Ryoga bowed his head and allowed inner peace to overcome him. Ranma was about to kick him again when Ryoga broke this peace.
"I was once as you described your Ryoga, lost, hopeless, and without order. I have been trained and am now at peace, but when necessary I break that peace and allow my power to run strong. Feel this power." His voice oozed with a level of hatred Ranma hadn't thought him capable of. This took Ranma by surprise, which wasn't good because it offset his leap at Ryoga's head. Luckily, this saved him from a rather painful explosion on the ground where he would have landed.
The ground was exploding in small bursts for no apparent reason across the garden. It was reminiscent of when a box of fireworks goes off. Ranma was dodging shrapnel constantly and it kept coming like a bee comes to someone with a terminal fear of insects. Ranma couldn't work out how Ryoga was doing this. He had always needed to at least touch the ground to destroy it. In fact, Ranma couldn't see Ryoga through the avalanche of dirt. Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and Ranma at last saw Ryoga, his index finger sitting at the ready to his side.
"Had enough yet?" asked Ryoga, enjoying every syllable.
"No," responded Ranma plainly.
"So be it." Ryoga blast his arm out repeatedly and jumped into the sanctuary of the tree to view his destruction. Wherever his finger had shot a new explosion formed. From his safety he set off more. Ryoga's maliciousness was overcoming him and, as with all megalomaniacs, he began to make mistakes. Ranma saw a lack of ground coming up to meet him down one side of the garden and made his way across an uneven path of airborne rocks there. In the short peace offered by this safe ground he saw Ryoga's perch. He made for the now jagged branches and forced Ryoga off of it into his own minefield. Ryoga's common sense returned to him like a boomerang returning to someone who just thought it was a stick.
Ryoga composed himself by the pond long enough for the dust to settle to three yards visibility. "You have evaded my distanced Bakkusai Tenketsu well, but can you evade this. It was developed over 3000 years of Chinese Amazon history and-"
"Don't you start that too," said Ranma distastefully. He blasted a punch into Ryoga's stomach forcing him to the revenged ground and rebounded off into the tree again.
"What do you mean too?" asked Ryoga as if he was talking to an idiot, which from his point of view, he was. "Anyway," the fury returned to his voice, "Now I shall show you real pain."
Ryoga aimed his arm at Ranma's head, filled it over, and jerked his wrist hard down. A blast cracked through the air, narrowly missing Ranma's head, but the ensuing bang and outwards blast got Ranma with much the same effect. Ranma (future) was now nowhere to be seen, as was Ukyo and Shampoo. The two boys had now started jumping up and down renewing their chants. Akane had taken a prime seat.
"What the hell was that?"
"That," responded Ryoga triumphantly, "is an attack of supreme," Ryoga shot Ranma again, but still missed, "power and skill." Another blast came nowhere near Ranma. "Just as the tree strikes back when it is blown by the wind, I strike back with vicious power. Feel the Lakotai Fukeni."
Author's Note: Proper Chinese for 'Swaying Tree' appreciated.
"What are you going on about?" asked Ranma flipping away from yet another blast like a cat jumping in front of a rat. The explosions were beginning to take their toll on Ranma and the tree. His mind set itself to a decision and he leaped for Ryoga just as he started another volley.
The plan worked perfectly. Ranma had seen that Ryoga was shooting the blasts from his hand, so he simply forced Ryoga's hand in on itself as he shot and savoured the effect. Ryoga gave a scream of pain comparable to if you had been half trampled to death by a herd of spike-footed buffalo. Ranma then engaged part two of the plan and gave Ryoga all of the Chestnut Fist he could muster. Surprisingly, Ryoga still had some fight in him and attacked back in the same way.
The two could not escape from or stop their attack or the other would destroy them utterly. The futile barrage went on for about a minute before either of them noticed that the ground around them had just started glowing and the next thing that either of them knew, they were flying up towards the stratosphere at an acceleration that could launch a space shuttle.
****
Akane couldn't stand to watch the two fight. When one had been much more skilled than the other the fights were short, quick, and harmless, but now Ryoga had such powerful attacks and the pain reception of a brick wall. Ranma had the resolve of Duct Tape and knew a trick or two of his own. A fight would never end between them without death.
After the Chestnut fist fight of doom began, though, Akane's mind was made up and she attacked the two of them with the only special skill she could think of that would be of any effect; the one that she only ever used on Kuno or Happosaii. Her anger grew as she charged towards the blur of appendages like a tank driven by a suicidal maniac.
Her fists glowing, she punched both of them with the Orbital Hit. The punch itself wasn't very strong. However, the ground beneath them glowed momentarily and the sound of high voltage screamed quickly to the ultrasonic. The two then abruptly disappeared into the sky.
"Well, it serves them right," said Akane as she pouted off into the house to her room. A hard, warm breeze followed her into the house, upsetting many pictures and newspapers in a pile on the table. The air sighed as it was allowed to expand again into the house.
****
"What the hell are you doing!" asked Akane, in a slightly high-pitched voice, to a panty warmer on her bed. He was smiling, self satisfied, and nurturing the precious underwear. He noticed her and leaped.
"Well, I only wanted to thank you for the presents," responded Happosaii with the tone of a two year old when he asks for a toy all of his friends have. She forced him with some difficulty off her ample chest and threw him onto the bed. To make it absolutely certain there was no doubt in the matter she followed that by a couple of strikes from a nearby sword.
Happosaii, though, had left, leaving a pillow very sad indeed.
"What's up with him all of a sudden?" asked a deeply breathing Akane at the doorway.
****
"Well, if you want anymore proof that this is the wrong place, that's it," said a shrunken figure, a finger pointed towards two points of light rapidly falling up the sky.
"Alright, we'll try again. Eventually we'll get here at the right time," said a determined voice.
"We will. We will. They cannot be allowed to get away with this heinous crime."
****
"I'm glad we ran for it. That battle was getting a bit to heated for my liking. Let's not return for a while. I doubt Ryoga will be happy to see me," panted Ranma as he ran at full speed in no apparent direction. Shampoo and Ukyo attempted to follow is haphazard path with the cart laden with equipment, but were rather failing. However, this was made up for in the fact that Ranma kept going around blocks five or six times before turning off, giving ample movement time.
"Me agree," responded Shampoo happily.
"OK," said a worried, tired Ukyo. They had forgotten the map and Ranma was in the lead. 'Damn,' thought Ukyo, 'If only he could be like that one that's fighting Ryoga.' Ukyo then ran into a streetlight as she double took a young man in a yellow shirt and braced legs. Ranma hadn't noticed him in his extensive study of the local geography.
****
Ranma had first been glad to get out of the never-ending attack. Then he noticed that the reason that he wasn't still in a stalemate with Ryoga was that Ryoga, being slightly heavier than Ranma, was not accelerating upwards as quickly as Ranma was. This didn't mean, though, that they weren't accelerating about as quickly upwards as a squirrel accelerates away from the front of a car. However, unlike the squirrel, which normally comes to an abrupt halt shortly thereafter, they kept going. Ryoga was quite unphased by the lack of solid ground beneath his feet.
Eventually the momentum spent itself and the two plummeted towards the outstretched hands of gravity. Ryoga gained even more air on Ranma. About 30 seconds from the ground, Ryoga suddenly pulled out his umbrella and coasted calmly to the ground.
Ranma began to panic. Following his previous patterns of luck, though, he happened upon a low flying plane full of beginning skydivers. Ranma fell onto the plane, quickly shimmed around into the door, much to the fright of everyone in the plane. He quickly picked up a discarded parachute and said quite plainly, "Sorry 'bout this. Hope you don't need it," and jumped out of the plane.
After landing on the neighbour's roof, discarding the parachute, and leaping his way back to the house, Ranma found Ryoga questioning Genma and a living piece of modern art; Akane attempting to put both Happosaii's on the same kebab rod, and the Happosaii (present) attempting to demonstrate a shape roughly the size of a watermelon to his counterpart, who was distinctly uninterested.
Ranma saw the glint of the mirror under a cold kettle and he knelt down to pick it up. Genma (future)'s eyes opened wide and he began to make every attempt to get away but was held back by Ryoga pouring hot water on his head from a different kettle and insisting on more answers from the cheating scumbag.
'Ah, he's finally got to know him well I see.'
Genma quietly stepped away from the resulting conversation and approached Ranma.
"Well, this is definitely a strange place. It appears that Ryoga has taken your place as Akane's bride after some sort of battle about seven years ago. You were greatly distressed and disappeared for quite a while. It seems Shampoo and Ukyo followed you out of pity and have been ever since," informed Genma, in a false whisper. "This needs to be fixed. If you hadn't beaten that boy up so long ago, this wouldn't be happening now!"
"ME!" exclaimed Ranma in disbelief. He quickly realised that no one liked this remark and he became very quiet. "If you hadn't gotten that bright idea we wouldn't be here right now in the first place."
"Forget whose fault it is boy and concentrate on how we're going to fix it."
"How are we going to get away without him (nodding at Happosaii) not noticing?"
"I'll set it off here and now." Genma pulled the onion from his pocket so carefully it could have been a bomb about to go off. He rubbed it in his eye. The tear fell. The hand of Happosaii intercepted the mirror. The tear missed.
"How dare you think of leaving me here!" proclaimed Happosaii.
"I never would of thought of it master. I was just about to call you," pleaded Genma falsely.
The others in the room had gathered around to see what the commotion was about.
"I knew it was my magic mirror!" announced Happosaii (future) proudly.
"It's what?" asked Akane and Ryoga in unified misunderstanding. The response did not reach them since them suddenly they all ceased to exist in the normal sense of the word. Genma's eye hadn't quite been done yet.
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Well, that's Part 3 done. I know it was long winded and the battle a tad short, but the story should begin to speed up a bit more now.
Where are they going now? How does the mirror know where to go? Who will they meet? Did everyone go or just the first three? Who is this group of people who are never at the right place? I don't know; stop asking! Read part 4 to find out!
- Ryoga
Mirror Rule #3: Until the wish that the mirror has given the opportunity to appease has been appeased, it shall not function properly. Please do not contact your local service provider.
Editor's Note: The problem with Cut & Paste is the author forgot to update the numbers! (Congruency).
Author's Response: That's your job, not mine!