E/N: As promised, here's my next chapter! Enjoy! (OMG-ess, I'm speechless
again…)
Disclaimer: Nope, none of the LotR characters is mine :'( Anyway, if you sue me, you'll get shit. Okay, not literary shit, but you know what I mean; I own crap. No, not real crap, ARG! Oh well, you get my point, don't you? Oh, and I don't own the song either, it's P!nk's. It's called; "Just like a pill" You actually should listen to it while reading this chapter.
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Chapter 12: Invasion of the boy/girl-friend snatchers
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The 13th of Halimath, 1384 (Shire Reckoning)
Hi again…
Today was really shitty… just read…
I woke up early, 'round 6:30, tried to erase Elvea's memories again before she woke up. Didn't work. Oh well, she'll keep her promise, right? A knock on the door.
'Who is it?'
'It's me.'
'I'll be out in a sec!' I checked my reflection in the mirror. I sure have gotten a lot more uh, how do you say that, I'm a vanity-freak. :o) Oh well, I feel like have to look good. I walked out of the room. No one was awake, so I felt it was save to give him a good morning kiss. We ran over to outside, over to the valley, spent some time there, around 8:30, Estel, Boromir, Éomer and Faramir showed up.
'What's with you guys?' Éomer asked us. Estel shot us a "can I tell him?" look. Legolas and I exchanged looks.
'Tell him.' Legolas said. Estel explained everything to him and Boromir and Faramir, who didn't know the whole story yet either. After that, they took a walk in the woods on this side of the river, to see if they could find any ruins or things there, and gave us some time alone. Somewhere along the road, Legolas started talking…
'Hey, you know…'
'What?'
'I…'
'You what?' What was he trying to tell me?
'I uh, I love you Endomiel.' At that moment, something inside me snapped. I started to breathe heavily, and I could feel the necklace tighten around my neck. I felt like I was going to choke… I took the necklace off and dropped it on his chest.
'I'm sorry Legolas…' I mumbled as I stoop up and ran away…
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(E/N: this is the part where the songy-thingy starts :P)
I'm lying here, on the floor,
Where you left me,
I think I took too much…
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(Legolas' P.O.V)
What's she doing? Why's she running away? Is it something I said? What's her problem? I just told her I… Oh no… Maybe I scared her… She didn't want to talk about it yesterday, maybe I scared her off… Me and my big mouth! I should have just kept it shut! Is it over now? Is it?
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(Endomiel's P.O.V.)
I ran to my room. How could he say that? I don't understand… He can't just say that! He doesn't even know what he's saying! He can't love me… I slammed the door open and ran in. I ran right into Elvea, I think, I didn't see her. My eyes were covered with tears, I couldn't see anything. I ran into the bathroom.
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I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought this would be fun…
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I locked the door and started crying. *Knock knock*
'Are you okay in there?' I could hear Elvea trying to talk to me from outside the door.
'I'm okay, nothing really…' I managed to say, my voice shaking.
'No you're not, what happened?'
'Nothing! None of your business! Go away!' I yelled at the door.
'You can tell me, nobody will know…'
'Nothing's wrong. Go away!' She sat down against the door.
'I'll just sit here, if you want to talk…' I didn't say anything. If she wanted to sit there, fine, I had nothing to talk about… I started crying again. Why was I crying? There was no need to cry, I did what I had to. I broke up with him, before we depended too much on each other. It's all his fault anyway. This wasn't supposed to be a serious relationship, no need to say… We were just fooling around, having fun, he screwed everything up! But. Breaking-up, that was the right thing to do, right? RIGHT? I couldn't depend on him forever…
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I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch.
Can't stay on you morphine
'Cause it's making me itch.
I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch
I think I'll get out of here…
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I think I'll be best of far away form everything. Just like in the old days, back in the Shire. As soon as something was bugging me, I'd run off into the woods, stay there a few hours, days, and one time even a week. I'll see, maybe during camp, they wouldn't miss me, would they?
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Where I can run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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'Elvea?' No answer. She was gone. Slowly, I opened the door. I stuck my head out. No one. I walked out and started to pack my bags. I knew I'd fell better after a few days alone. I threw clothes, candy, all the food I had left, flashlight, bow and arrows, knife and a rope in my bag. I grabbed a piece of paper. "I'll be back in a few days, love, Endomiel" they'd understand. Oh, "P.S: don't come looking for me, tell the guys I won't be 'there', I'll be alright, really." I put the note on the desk. Took a quick look out of the window. I drew a quick breath.
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill…
You keep making me ill…
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This whole thing was becoming too much for me. I had to get away. I walked over to the door. Was this really the best thing to do? There must be another way… We could talk it out, think of all the good times you had together… I thought of yesterday… We did have fun together. I walked back over to the mirror, and looked into it. Somehow, I could see the strains of the necklace around my neck... I couldn't do it, I had to leave!
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I haven't moved from the spot where you left me,
Must've been a bad trip…
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(Legolas' P.O.V)
I was still lying there, under the tree. I couldn't believe she was gone… Just a few minutes ago, she was here, next to me. Next to me? All over me! I couldn't believe it, still can't… Where did I go wrong? Was it truly my fault? She didn't have to do it for me, I would have told my dad, really… Maybe that's her problem, the other girl. Maybe she feel's like she's just a replacement for Lutetia, but she's not, I don't even like Lutetia…
Estel, Boromir, Faramir and Éomer came walking from the forest.
'Hey Leg, where's Endomiel?'
'She's…'
'Don't tell me she's gone!' Faramir said. 'I just found out about you two!' I jumped to my feet.
'Shut up! You don't know what it's like! I didn't do anything! She just left!' I sank back to the ground. 'It's not my fault… I didn't do nothing… make her come back, please make her come back…'
'Now way… She's really gone?' Faramir knelt down besides me. 'Though luck man…' I jumped up and tackled Faramir.
'You don't know what it's like! Stop joking around!' Estel and Boromir pulled me off Faramir.
'Hey, calm down man, all will be okay, really.' Estel said.
'No! It won't be okay! She's gone man! She's really gone…'
'Did you try to talk to her?'
'Not yet, she just stood up and walked away, I didn't even have the chance… I didn't even have the chance. YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME A CHANCE!'
'Hey, what's this?' Boromir picked some thing up from the ground.
'Her necklace.'
'I didn't know she had a necklace.'
'I gave it to her yesterday.'
'That explains why it's here.'
'How come she went away?' Estel asked me.
'I told her I…'
'You told her what?'
'I told her…'
'You didn't!' Boromir said. 'Hey, that's not supposed to be a bad thing!'
'What did he tell her?'
'The "L" word man, c'mon, you know what I mean.' Boromir told Estel.
'No way…'
'Maybe it just got to much, she couldn't handle it anymore.'
'Does it matter? She's gone…' A tear dripped over my cheek.
'Just talk to her, go make it up to her, tell her all is okay, think of something!'
'You think she'll let me in?'
'Just bust the door! Make you way in!' Another of Boromir's brilliant ideas…
'I guess I could do that…'
'Yeah! Go on, before she's really gone.'
'Yeah.' I ran over to the cliff, climbed out and ran to her room. I could see her, trying to leave her room, big backpack on her back. 'Wait.' I said. 'We have to talk.'
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All the other pills, they were different,
Maybe I should get some help…
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(Endomiel's P.O.V.)
'I'm sorry Legolas, I'm leaving.'
'Where are you going?'
'Away.'
'You can't just keep running from your fears like that, it doesn't work.'
'It's been working fine for me, now let me pass.' I roughly pushed him aside. He grabbed my arm.
'Like I said, we have to talk.' He dragged me back into the room. 'Is there anybody in here? No? Good.' He closed the door.
'Stop that! I don't want to talk! Leave me alone!'
'Shut up and listen. What's your problem? Why did you run away like that? Was it something I said?'
'No… Yes… You wouldn't understand…'
'What wouldn't I understand? Tell me? I thought everything was going okay between us…'
'So did I… but then you went all… and I couldn't handle it okay, I freaked! It's just, I wasn't prepared for you going all…'
'What did I do? What went wrong? You know I'll always be there for you, right?'
'That's the whole problem!'
'What?'
'If you'll always be there for me, I'll start depending on you, and then, when you're not there for a few seconds, something'll go wrong!
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I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch,
Can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said, I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get out of here…
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The door opened again, Arwen walked in.
'Nothing'll go wrong!' Legolas shouted.
'Now, don't try to force her!' Arwen shouted. I started making "Stop, don't go there!" signs with my hands, but I don't think she noticed… 'If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to…'
'Arwen, shut up…' I whispered.
'What?' she whispered back.
'That's not what we're arguing about.'
'It's not?'
'No!'
'Okay…' She moved back to the door. 'Don't mind me, I was never here, just continue with your conversation.' She walked out of the room. 'You really had to stick your nose in their business again, didn't you…' I could hear her talking to herself outside the door.
'Like I said, nothing will go wrong! You'll survive on your own, you'll be perfectly fine.'
'That's not the point…'
'Then what are you trying to tell me?'
'You and me, well, that just doesn't work, okay! Stop thinking everything will be all right! It's not going to be okay, it won't work and it's not you fault, so don't try to fix it!'
'How can I show you that it is going to be okay?'
'How can I show you it won't be okay?'
'I don't know…'
'See…' he cut me off in the middle of my sentence.
'I just want to prove to you that I love you and nothing will ever get between us and…'
'That's the whole problem!' I shouted. 'Something DOES stand between us!'
'Is that what it's all about? My fiancé? Are you jealous?'
'No! Well, maybe a little, but that's not what I mean…' I punched the wall of the room.
'Then what is it? Can't you see, I love you, not her!'
'SHUT UP!!! You're only making it worse!'
'I don't understand…'
'Of course you don't…'
'Why don't you just tell me?'
'Because your so… you won't understand…'
'Why not?'
'You're so immature!'
'I'm immature? I'm 102 times your age! And you call me immature! That's it! I've had it with you! I'm leaving…' I could see the tears in his eyes, and I could feel the tears in mine…
'What are you going to do? Kiss the first girl you run into?'
'I might do that!'
'FINE!'
'FINE!' He ran over to the door, and ran into Elvea. Of all people, it had to be Elvea? Damn… Before I could stop him, he kissed her.
'BE LIKE THAT!' I yelled. 'If you can do that, I can date someone else too!'
'And who would that be?' He said.
'I don't know… I'll find someone! Just wait and see!' I ran out of the room. Something seemed wrong here, it still was my room right?'
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Where I can run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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I ran to the mess, and bumped into Vebor.
'Are you dating anyone?' I asked him.
'No, I'm not, beautiful, want to date?'
'You're on buddy.' Okay, got myself a date. Didn't make me feel any better tho… I'll show that Legolas fellow, this isn't over yet! Vebor put his arm around my shoulders and we sat down at a table. What time was it? 11:30. Ooh! Lunchtime!
'Want lunch?'
'Yeah, I'd like that.'
'Wait here girl, I'll get you some.'
'Okay.' Boromir, Estel and Faramir walked in, Éomer was probably looking for Elvea again, he never gives up, does he?
'Hey girl, how're things between you and your guy?' Boromir asked me.
'Everything's fine.'
'Here, I got you this, is it good?' Vebor handed me my lunch.
'Yeah Vebor, that's great, thanks.' Vebor sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.
'Hey guys, stop staring at my girl will ya, you're not jealous, are ya?' Their jaws would have dropped to the floor, if it weren't for the fact that they're not cartoon characters. I hope they tell Legolas soon. The sooner he knows, the sooner we can break up and I can be a happy single for the rest of eternity.
The guys got up again and sat with Legolas, who had walked in and sat alone at a table at the other side of the mess. I moved closer to Vebor and held my head up high. No one is going to get me down that easily! I laid my head against Vebor's shoulder. I could see Legolas look at Vebor, disgust in his eyes. He stood up and walked over to us.
Elvea walked in, and sat at an empty table. Legolas walked over to her table, glared at me and sat down next to her. They started talking. If it weren't for her magic shield, I would have made her fall of her chair, or something worse…
I didn't eat much of my food 'cause I felt sick, and told Vebor I'd be in my room if he needed to see me, and walked to the lawn. I walked into the woods, and sat in a tree. I had a great view, but that's not what I wanted. I didn't know what I wanted, but whatever it was, I didn't have it. It felt like the poking in my back got worse. I shouldn't be sitting here alone… I could be sitting here with… Next time I'll ask Vebor to come up into the tree too. I sat there all afternoon, only came down for dinner.
At dinnertime, I walked to the mess and saw Vebor. Aw, Vebor sat with Boromir, Faramir and Estel. I walked over to Vebor.
'You'll be sorry you did that.' Boromir said as the guys stood up and walked to the other end of the table and sat with Legolas.
'What were you talking about?' I asked Vebor.
'Nothing.'
'Sounded like something to me.'
'Don't worry, all will be fine.'
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me…
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I felt like being sick. Something was really upsetting my system. Yuck.
'Are you sure it was nothing?' I asked Vebor.
'Totally sure.'
'Okay.'
'What so you want to eat?'
'Uhm, just give my some vegetables and a piece of ham.'
'Okay, just wait here, I'll go get you some.' Vebor isn't as bad as I thought he was. I mean, he gets food for me, and he doesn't mind me being gone the rest of the day. Elvea and Éomer walked into the mess, and Legolas sat down with them. The sick feeling got worse again… Vebor put the food in front of me. I sure was hungry, since I'd hardly eaten today, but I couldn't get a bite through my throat.
'Aren't you hungry?'
'Oh, no, I ate o lot at lunch and breakfast.'
'I didn't see you at breakfast, and you didn't even eat half of you lunch. Are you sure you're okay?'
'Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry 'bout me.' He put his arm around my shoulders. I put my head on his shoulder. I looked at the guys. Legolas moved closer to Elvea. Jerk.
After dinner, Vebor walked me to my room.
'Thanks Vebor.'
'Hey, no problem…'
'See you tomorrow.'
'Yeah…' He leaned over to kiss me.
'Vebor…'
'Okay, I'm sorry…I'll leave. Bye!'
'Bye!' I walked into the room and closed the door. I put on a sweater, and climbed out of the window. Luckily, the building only has one floor. I made sure nobody saw me, and ran over the lawn, to the tree I had been sitting in this afternoon. Nobody was outside. Was there? Who was that? Was it… no, it couldn't be, but still… Yes, it was… Legolas… What was he doing outside? I could see him walk over to the spot, where he and I always sat. He sat down, sad look on his face. This was getting to much for me… I felt dizzy… I could either be not eating much, or something else…
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Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears…
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I jumped out of the tree and sprinted to the back of the dormitory. Legolas turned around.
'Endomiel? Is that you?' He shouted. With my magic, I made a 'fox' walk out of the bushes. 'Oh… a fox…' He sat back down again. I'm so glad he didn't see me run away. Magic sure is a big help sometimes. What's he doing outside anyway? He's not having a date on *our* spot, is he? He'd better not… I'm not magical for nothing you know… I walked back to the corner of the building and peeked around it. What was he doing? No way! Is it my eyes, which deceive me, or is he kissing Elvea over there? That *******!!!! He's going to pay dearly for this!! Yeah, I dumped him, but he's supposed to be sad, and, well, you know…
The sick feeling came back even worse this time… Maybe it had something to do with… Nah. That couldn't be. I mean, our break-up is for the best right? It wasn't meant to be right?
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me ill…
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This was really becoming too much for me. I felt sick, hungry, exhausted, I don't know how long I could go on… And he just sat there, kissing Elvea! How could he? Doesn't he care about what I feel? Do I sound selfish now? So what, it's all his fault. He shouldn't have said it. He knows it can't take that, right? He must get it by now…
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I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch,
Can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said, I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get out of here…
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I ran back to my window, and looked in. Nobody inside. I climbed back in. I could get used to sneaking in and out through the window. I grabbed my bag, and checked if the note was still where I left it. Yep, still there. Okay, time to leave. Jumped back out of the building and ran off to the woods behind the school building. I ran straight to the valley, and climbed down the cliff. Crossed the river over the rope, ran to the ruins. I checked if I could see the path I saw last time I was here. Yeah, there it was. I walked down the path for about an hour, and then sat down on an open spot. I don't think I was that far from the river, because I could hear it, just outside the forest.
I walked towards the sound of the running water. What? No! This can't be! I ran in a straight line for at least an hour, and I was back where I left! Is this some kind of signal? Come to think of it, I was right where I started, in terms of my 'life'. I was back at school, no boyfriend, no real friends with me, I left them all behind, and I was running from my problems again. This had to stop at some point! Better stop it now, that way I've cleared that problem. Just like Legolas said, "You can't just keep running from your fears like that, it doesn't work." Of all people, he had to be the one to tell me that? *Sigh* Oh well, I'd better turn back before anyone notices that I'm gone.
Crossed the river again, heavy pack on my back. It seemed to get even heavier as a came closer to the school… I didn't want to go back… oh well… started climbing the cliff while my shoes felt like big blocks of lead. My backpack also felt like some kind of very heavy metal… Brought the whole thing for nothing. Stupid backpack. I reached the top of the cliff. Stupid tree… I kicked the tree. Stupid bush. I kicked bush, uh, the bush. Stupid school building. Kicked the building. I'd better not done that… my poor foot…
'Stupid guys… Stupid Legolas…' I mumbled. 'Do you hear me?!? I HATE YOU!!!' I yelled. What time is it? Pretty late, since it's already dark… Around 22:00? 22:30? I didn't have a clue. I crept back to the back of the dormitory, climbed back into the building, dumped my bag, snatched the note from the desk and tore it to pieces. I jumped into bed, not even bothering to change my clothes. Luckily, my bag was packed, so I didn't have to do that tomorrow morning.
Sat there a few minutes before I broke into tears. I sat there, sobbing, on my bed, when Arwen walked in.
'It's over, isn't it?'
'There never was anything…' I sobbed.
'Everybody could see there was something.'
'You think?'
'Yeah.' She smiled at me.
'That makes it even worse…' I started crying even harder. This was so not like me. I never cry when other people are around…
'What happened?'
'I saw him on the lawn… Kissing… Kissing Elvea… Elvea, of all people!!'
'Awwww… Nasty…'
'Nasty? It's way more than nasty! It's gross!'
'It can't be that bad…' I looked her in the eyes. 'Okay, it could be, but…'
Sat there, crying on her shoulder, about half and hour, when I slowly started calming down.
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Where I can run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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I felt like running again, but I couldn't. Somehow, I knew I didn't have the strength to do that. Don't have the strength to do anything now… so exhausted…
Even thinking was getting hard on me now. As I thought of Legolas, and what he did, back there on the lawn… It made me noxious…
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me …
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
'Hey, I'm going to take a walk.' I told Arwen.
'Sure, want me to come with you?'
'No, that's okay.'
'Come back in one piece, okay?'
'I'll try!' I laughed. Arwen's a nice girl. She gets into other people's business quite a lot, but hey, everybody's got her, or *his*, downside. I walked to the mess, sat down with a plate of food, and started poking it again. Tried to eat some, and I did! Like three bites… the rest was disposable, as so many things are these days. :(
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Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
My life feels like a trap, I'm trying to get out, but it doesn't quite seem to work… Every time I struggle, it seems like I get stuck even more. I have to cut some cords, so they can't tie me down any longer. Boromir walked into the mess and sat down next to me. He didn't say anything, I didn't say anything. Some 5 minutes later…
'Hey, how're you doing?'
'Fine.'
'You don't look to good.'
'I'm fine.'
'How's Vebor?'
'How should I know?'
'Well, he is your boyfriend now, so…' Oh, right, Vebor's my boyfriend now…
'I guess he's fine too.'
'You don't feel like talking, do you?' Hello mister "state the obvious"!! I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that… 'I'll take that as a yes…'
*Sigh*
'What's the matter with you and Legolas?'
'How should I know, he's not *MY* boyfriend.'
'That's exactly what I mean, what happened?'
'Nothing, we just broke up.'
'There's something else behind it, I can see it's killing you, and it's killing him too.' I don't know why, but that actually made me feel better. :o)
'I'm coping fine, as you can see.'
'Oh come on, just look at you! You look exhausted, your eyes are red and swollen, you just sit here, alone, poking you food, even I can see something's bugging you.'
'Boromir, I'm not in the mood for one of your relationship councils, please shut up.'
'You'll find it out eventually…' He stood up.
'Find what out? What's there to find out?' He walked away. 'Tell me! What is it?' He walked back towards me.
'You can't live without each other.' He whispered and he walked away again.
'That's not true! I can live alone! He said so himself! I'll be perfectly fine!' I yelled. He waved just before he left the mess. 'Bastard.' I whispered. 'All guys suck.'
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me …
Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
I walked back to my room, where Arwen, Éowyn and Rosie were packing their bags.
'Hi.' I softly said.
'Hi Endomiel!' Rosie cheered.
'You sure are happy.' I said
'Yeah, it's finally official, Sam and I are dating!' Oww… not nice to hear… I mean, nice for them but… I started crying again. 'What happened? Was it something I said?'
'It's not your fault Rosie…' I said. 'It's all the fault of…' I started sobbing even louder.
'Whose fault is it?'
'Those blasted guys.' Arwen said. 'Come on Endomiel, throw it all out…' I started sobbing on her shoulder again.
'Oww, now I'm ruining you shirt again with my crying…' I sobbed.
'That's okay…'
'What happened to her?' Elanor said as she walked in.
'Oh, guy trouble.' Éowyn said.
'Don't tell me she broke up with that stuck-up elf prince, did she?'
'No, other problems, I think...'
'Sure.'
'It's something else.' Arwen said.
'Thanks Arwen.' I whispered.
'Hey girls, time to turn off the lights!' Éowyn said as she turned the lights off. I put my PJ's on and crawled into my bed. I put the blankets up over my head, and made a little light. That's where I am now, writing in my diary. I think it's time to go to sleep now, it's getting pretty late.
Namarië…
Endomiel
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me …
Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
E/N: Hullo… Sorry for the sad chapter, just felt like doing that! Well, I need your help on a few things, for one; do I have to write more about the Hobbits? Because I noticed I'm kind of neglecting them in my story… and second; I don't know what to do with Endy and Legolas yet, any ideas?? Oh well… Keep reviewing!! Thanx to y'all!!! Buh-bye now! Endomiel.
P.S.: remember, you can always read Elvea's P.O.V., it's on her account, Amanfalathiel. Okay, enough advertising for one day….
Disclaimer: Nope, none of the LotR characters is mine :'( Anyway, if you sue me, you'll get shit. Okay, not literary shit, but you know what I mean; I own crap. No, not real crap, ARG! Oh well, you get my point, don't you? Oh, and I don't own the song either, it's P!nk's. It's called; "Just like a pill" You actually should listen to it while reading this chapter.
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Chapter 12: Invasion of the boy/girl-friend snatchers
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The 13th of Halimath, 1384 (Shire Reckoning)
Hi again…
Today was really shitty… just read…
I woke up early, 'round 6:30, tried to erase Elvea's memories again before she woke up. Didn't work. Oh well, she'll keep her promise, right? A knock on the door.
'Who is it?'
'It's me.'
'I'll be out in a sec!' I checked my reflection in the mirror. I sure have gotten a lot more uh, how do you say that, I'm a vanity-freak. :o) Oh well, I feel like have to look good. I walked out of the room. No one was awake, so I felt it was save to give him a good morning kiss. We ran over to outside, over to the valley, spent some time there, around 8:30, Estel, Boromir, Éomer and Faramir showed up.
'What's with you guys?' Éomer asked us. Estel shot us a "can I tell him?" look. Legolas and I exchanged looks.
'Tell him.' Legolas said. Estel explained everything to him and Boromir and Faramir, who didn't know the whole story yet either. After that, they took a walk in the woods on this side of the river, to see if they could find any ruins or things there, and gave us some time alone. Somewhere along the road, Legolas started talking…
'Hey, you know…'
'What?'
'I…'
'You what?' What was he trying to tell me?
'I uh, I love you Endomiel.' At that moment, something inside me snapped. I started to breathe heavily, and I could feel the necklace tighten around my neck. I felt like I was going to choke… I took the necklace off and dropped it on his chest.
'I'm sorry Legolas…' I mumbled as I stoop up and ran away…
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(E/N: this is the part where the songy-thingy starts :P)
I'm lying here, on the floor,
Where you left me,
I think I took too much…
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(Legolas' P.O.V)
What's she doing? Why's she running away? Is it something I said? What's her problem? I just told her I… Oh no… Maybe I scared her… She didn't want to talk about it yesterday, maybe I scared her off… Me and my big mouth! I should have just kept it shut! Is it over now? Is it?
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(Endomiel's P.O.V.)
I ran to my room. How could he say that? I don't understand… He can't just say that! He doesn't even know what he's saying! He can't love me… I slammed the door open and ran in. I ran right into Elvea, I think, I didn't see her. My eyes were covered with tears, I couldn't see anything. I ran into the bathroom.
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I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought this would be fun…
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I locked the door and started crying. *Knock knock*
'Are you okay in there?' I could hear Elvea trying to talk to me from outside the door.
'I'm okay, nothing really…' I managed to say, my voice shaking.
'No you're not, what happened?'
'Nothing! None of your business! Go away!' I yelled at the door.
'You can tell me, nobody will know…'
'Nothing's wrong. Go away!' She sat down against the door.
'I'll just sit here, if you want to talk…' I didn't say anything. If she wanted to sit there, fine, I had nothing to talk about… I started crying again. Why was I crying? There was no need to cry, I did what I had to. I broke up with him, before we depended too much on each other. It's all his fault anyway. This wasn't supposed to be a serious relationship, no need to say… We were just fooling around, having fun, he screwed everything up! But. Breaking-up, that was the right thing to do, right? RIGHT? I couldn't depend on him forever…
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I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch.
Can't stay on you morphine
'Cause it's making me itch.
I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch
I think I'll get out of here…
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I think I'll be best of far away form everything. Just like in the old days, back in the Shire. As soon as something was bugging me, I'd run off into the woods, stay there a few hours, days, and one time even a week. I'll see, maybe during camp, they wouldn't miss me, would they?
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Where I can run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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'Elvea?' No answer. She was gone. Slowly, I opened the door. I stuck my head out. No one. I walked out and started to pack my bags. I knew I'd fell better after a few days alone. I threw clothes, candy, all the food I had left, flashlight, bow and arrows, knife and a rope in my bag. I grabbed a piece of paper. "I'll be back in a few days, love, Endomiel" they'd understand. Oh, "P.S: don't come looking for me, tell the guys I won't be 'there', I'll be alright, really." I put the note on the desk. Took a quick look out of the window. I drew a quick breath.
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill…
You keep making me ill…
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This whole thing was becoming too much for me. I had to get away. I walked over to the door. Was this really the best thing to do? There must be another way… We could talk it out, think of all the good times you had together… I thought of yesterday… We did have fun together. I walked back over to the mirror, and looked into it. Somehow, I could see the strains of the necklace around my neck... I couldn't do it, I had to leave!
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I haven't moved from the spot where you left me,
Must've been a bad trip…
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(Legolas' P.O.V)
I was still lying there, under the tree. I couldn't believe she was gone… Just a few minutes ago, she was here, next to me. Next to me? All over me! I couldn't believe it, still can't… Where did I go wrong? Was it truly my fault? She didn't have to do it for me, I would have told my dad, really… Maybe that's her problem, the other girl. Maybe she feel's like she's just a replacement for Lutetia, but she's not, I don't even like Lutetia…
Estel, Boromir, Faramir and Éomer came walking from the forest.
'Hey Leg, where's Endomiel?'
'She's…'
'Don't tell me she's gone!' Faramir said. 'I just found out about you two!' I jumped to my feet.
'Shut up! You don't know what it's like! I didn't do anything! She just left!' I sank back to the ground. 'It's not my fault… I didn't do nothing… make her come back, please make her come back…'
'Now way… She's really gone?' Faramir knelt down besides me. 'Though luck man…' I jumped up and tackled Faramir.
'You don't know what it's like! Stop joking around!' Estel and Boromir pulled me off Faramir.
'Hey, calm down man, all will be okay, really.' Estel said.
'No! It won't be okay! She's gone man! She's really gone…'
'Did you try to talk to her?'
'Not yet, she just stood up and walked away, I didn't even have the chance… I didn't even have the chance. YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME A CHANCE!'
'Hey, what's this?' Boromir picked some thing up from the ground.
'Her necklace.'
'I didn't know she had a necklace.'
'I gave it to her yesterday.'
'That explains why it's here.'
'How come she went away?' Estel asked me.
'I told her I…'
'You told her what?'
'I told her…'
'You didn't!' Boromir said. 'Hey, that's not supposed to be a bad thing!'
'What did he tell her?'
'The "L" word man, c'mon, you know what I mean.' Boromir told Estel.
'No way…'
'Maybe it just got to much, she couldn't handle it anymore.'
'Does it matter? She's gone…' A tear dripped over my cheek.
'Just talk to her, go make it up to her, tell her all is okay, think of something!'
'You think she'll let me in?'
'Just bust the door! Make you way in!' Another of Boromir's brilliant ideas…
'I guess I could do that…'
'Yeah! Go on, before she's really gone.'
'Yeah.' I ran over to the cliff, climbed out and ran to her room. I could see her, trying to leave her room, big backpack on her back. 'Wait.' I said. 'We have to talk.'
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All the other pills, they were different,
Maybe I should get some help…
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(Endomiel's P.O.V.)
'I'm sorry Legolas, I'm leaving.'
'Where are you going?'
'Away.'
'You can't just keep running from your fears like that, it doesn't work.'
'It's been working fine for me, now let me pass.' I roughly pushed him aside. He grabbed my arm.
'Like I said, we have to talk.' He dragged me back into the room. 'Is there anybody in here? No? Good.' He closed the door.
'Stop that! I don't want to talk! Leave me alone!'
'Shut up and listen. What's your problem? Why did you run away like that? Was it something I said?'
'No… Yes… You wouldn't understand…'
'What wouldn't I understand? Tell me? I thought everything was going okay between us…'
'So did I… but then you went all… and I couldn't handle it okay, I freaked! It's just, I wasn't prepared for you going all…'
'What did I do? What went wrong? You know I'll always be there for you, right?'
'That's the whole problem!'
'What?'
'If you'll always be there for me, I'll start depending on you, and then, when you're not there for a few seconds, something'll go wrong!
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I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch,
Can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said, I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get out of here…
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The door opened again, Arwen walked in.
'Nothing'll go wrong!' Legolas shouted.
'Now, don't try to force her!' Arwen shouted. I started making "Stop, don't go there!" signs with my hands, but I don't think she noticed… 'If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to…'
'Arwen, shut up…' I whispered.
'What?' she whispered back.
'That's not what we're arguing about.'
'It's not?'
'No!'
'Okay…' She moved back to the door. 'Don't mind me, I was never here, just continue with your conversation.' She walked out of the room. 'You really had to stick your nose in their business again, didn't you…' I could hear her talking to herself outside the door.
'Like I said, nothing will go wrong! You'll survive on your own, you'll be perfectly fine.'
'That's not the point…'
'Then what are you trying to tell me?'
'You and me, well, that just doesn't work, okay! Stop thinking everything will be all right! It's not going to be okay, it won't work and it's not you fault, so don't try to fix it!'
'How can I show you that it is going to be okay?'
'How can I show you it won't be okay?'
'I don't know…'
'See…' he cut me off in the middle of my sentence.
'I just want to prove to you that I love you and nothing will ever get between us and…'
'That's the whole problem!' I shouted. 'Something DOES stand between us!'
'Is that what it's all about? My fiancé? Are you jealous?'
'No! Well, maybe a little, but that's not what I mean…' I punched the wall of the room.
'Then what is it? Can't you see, I love you, not her!'
'SHUT UP!!! You're only making it worse!'
'I don't understand…'
'Of course you don't…'
'Why don't you just tell me?'
'Because your so… you won't understand…'
'Why not?'
'You're so immature!'
'I'm immature? I'm 102 times your age! And you call me immature! That's it! I've had it with you! I'm leaving…' I could see the tears in his eyes, and I could feel the tears in mine…
'What are you going to do? Kiss the first girl you run into?'
'I might do that!'
'FINE!'
'FINE!' He ran over to the door, and ran into Elvea. Of all people, it had to be Elvea? Damn… Before I could stop him, he kissed her.
'BE LIKE THAT!' I yelled. 'If you can do that, I can date someone else too!'
'And who would that be?' He said.
'I don't know… I'll find someone! Just wait and see!' I ran out of the room. Something seemed wrong here, it still was my room right?'
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Where I can run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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I ran to the mess, and bumped into Vebor.
'Are you dating anyone?' I asked him.
'No, I'm not, beautiful, want to date?'
'You're on buddy.' Okay, got myself a date. Didn't make me feel any better tho… I'll show that Legolas fellow, this isn't over yet! Vebor put his arm around my shoulders and we sat down at a table. What time was it? 11:30. Ooh! Lunchtime!
'Want lunch?'
'Yeah, I'd like that.'
'Wait here girl, I'll get you some.'
'Okay.' Boromir, Estel and Faramir walked in, Éomer was probably looking for Elvea again, he never gives up, does he?
'Hey girl, how're things between you and your guy?' Boromir asked me.
'Everything's fine.'
'Here, I got you this, is it good?' Vebor handed me my lunch.
'Yeah Vebor, that's great, thanks.' Vebor sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.
'Hey guys, stop staring at my girl will ya, you're not jealous, are ya?' Their jaws would have dropped to the floor, if it weren't for the fact that they're not cartoon characters. I hope they tell Legolas soon. The sooner he knows, the sooner we can break up and I can be a happy single for the rest of eternity.
The guys got up again and sat with Legolas, who had walked in and sat alone at a table at the other side of the mess. I moved closer to Vebor and held my head up high. No one is going to get me down that easily! I laid my head against Vebor's shoulder. I could see Legolas look at Vebor, disgust in his eyes. He stood up and walked over to us.
Elvea walked in, and sat at an empty table. Legolas walked over to her table, glared at me and sat down next to her. They started talking. If it weren't for her magic shield, I would have made her fall of her chair, or something worse…
I didn't eat much of my food 'cause I felt sick, and told Vebor I'd be in my room if he needed to see me, and walked to the lawn. I walked into the woods, and sat in a tree. I had a great view, but that's not what I wanted. I didn't know what I wanted, but whatever it was, I didn't have it. It felt like the poking in my back got worse. I shouldn't be sitting here alone… I could be sitting here with… Next time I'll ask Vebor to come up into the tree too. I sat there all afternoon, only came down for dinner.
At dinnertime, I walked to the mess and saw Vebor. Aw, Vebor sat with Boromir, Faramir and Estel. I walked over to Vebor.
'You'll be sorry you did that.' Boromir said as the guys stood up and walked to the other end of the table and sat with Legolas.
'What were you talking about?' I asked Vebor.
'Nothing.'
'Sounded like something to me.'
'Don't worry, all will be fine.'
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me…
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
I felt like being sick. Something was really upsetting my system. Yuck.
'Are you sure it was nothing?' I asked Vebor.
'Totally sure.'
'Okay.'
'What so you want to eat?'
'Uhm, just give my some vegetables and a piece of ham.'
'Okay, just wait here, I'll go get you some.' Vebor isn't as bad as I thought he was. I mean, he gets food for me, and he doesn't mind me being gone the rest of the day. Elvea and Éomer walked into the mess, and Legolas sat down with them. The sick feeling got worse again… Vebor put the food in front of me. I sure was hungry, since I'd hardly eaten today, but I couldn't get a bite through my throat.
'Aren't you hungry?'
'Oh, no, I ate o lot at lunch and breakfast.'
'I didn't see you at breakfast, and you didn't even eat half of you lunch. Are you sure you're okay?'
'Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry 'bout me.' He put his arm around my shoulders. I put my head on his shoulder. I looked at the guys. Legolas moved closer to Elvea. Jerk.
After dinner, Vebor walked me to my room.
'Thanks Vebor.'
'Hey, no problem…'
'See you tomorrow.'
'Yeah…' He leaned over to kiss me.
'Vebor…'
'Okay, I'm sorry…I'll leave. Bye!'
'Bye!' I walked into the room and closed the door. I put on a sweater, and climbed out of the window. Luckily, the building only has one floor. I made sure nobody saw me, and ran over the lawn, to the tree I had been sitting in this afternoon. Nobody was outside. Was there? Who was that? Was it… no, it couldn't be, but still… Yes, it was… Legolas… What was he doing outside? I could see him walk over to the spot, where he and I always sat. He sat down, sad look on his face. This was getting to much for me… I felt dizzy… I could either be not eating much, or something else…
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Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears…
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I jumped out of the tree and sprinted to the back of the dormitory. Legolas turned around.
'Endomiel? Is that you?' He shouted. With my magic, I made a 'fox' walk out of the bushes. 'Oh… a fox…' He sat back down again. I'm so glad he didn't see me run away. Magic sure is a big help sometimes. What's he doing outside anyway? He's not having a date on *our* spot, is he? He'd better not… I'm not magical for nothing you know… I walked back to the corner of the building and peeked around it. What was he doing? No way! Is it my eyes, which deceive me, or is he kissing Elvea over there? That *******!!!! He's going to pay dearly for this!! Yeah, I dumped him, but he's supposed to be sad, and, well, you know…
The sick feeling came back even worse this time… Maybe it had something to do with… Nah. That couldn't be. I mean, our break-up is for the best right? It wasn't meant to be right?
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me ill…
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This was really becoming too much for me. I felt sick, hungry, exhausted, I don't know how long I could go on… And he just sat there, kissing Elvea! How could he? Doesn't he care about what I feel? Do I sound selfish now? So what, it's all his fault. He shouldn't have said it. He knows it can't take that, right? He must get it by now…
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I can't stay on your life support,
There's a shortage in the switch,
Can't stay on your morphine,
'Cause it's making me itch.
I said, I tried to call the nurse again,
But she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get out of here…
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I ran back to my window, and looked in. Nobody inside. I climbed back in. I could get used to sneaking in and out through the window. I grabbed my bag, and checked if the note was still where I left it. Yep, still there. Okay, time to leave. Jumped back out of the building and ran off to the woods behind the school building. I ran straight to the valley, and climbed down the cliff. Crossed the river over the rope, ran to the ruins. I checked if I could see the path I saw last time I was here. Yeah, there it was. I walked down the path for about an hour, and then sat down on an open spot. I don't think I was that far from the river, because I could hear it, just outside the forest.
I walked towards the sound of the running water. What? No! This can't be! I ran in a straight line for at least an hour, and I was back where I left! Is this some kind of signal? Come to think of it, I was right where I started, in terms of my 'life'. I was back at school, no boyfriend, no real friends with me, I left them all behind, and I was running from my problems again. This had to stop at some point! Better stop it now, that way I've cleared that problem. Just like Legolas said, "You can't just keep running from your fears like that, it doesn't work." Of all people, he had to be the one to tell me that? *Sigh* Oh well, I'd better turn back before anyone notices that I'm gone.
Crossed the river again, heavy pack on my back. It seemed to get even heavier as a came closer to the school… I didn't want to go back… oh well… started climbing the cliff while my shoes felt like big blocks of lead. My backpack also felt like some kind of very heavy metal… Brought the whole thing for nothing. Stupid backpack. I reached the top of the cliff. Stupid tree… I kicked the tree. Stupid bush. I kicked bush, uh, the bush. Stupid school building. Kicked the building. I'd better not done that… my poor foot…
'Stupid guys… Stupid Legolas…' I mumbled. 'Do you hear me?!? I HATE YOU!!!' I yelled. What time is it? Pretty late, since it's already dark… Around 22:00? 22:30? I didn't have a clue. I crept back to the back of the dormitory, climbed back into the building, dumped my bag, snatched the note from the desk and tore it to pieces. I jumped into bed, not even bothering to change my clothes. Luckily, my bag was packed, so I didn't have to do that tomorrow morning.
Sat there a few minutes before I broke into tears. I sat there, sobbing, on my bed, when Arwen walked in.
'It's over, isn't it?'
'There never was anything…' I sobbed.
'Everybody could see there was something.'
'You think?'
'Yeah.' She smiled at me.
'That makes it even worse…' I started crying even harder. This was so not like me. I never cry when other people are around…
'What happened?'
'I saw him on the lawn… Kissing… Kissing Elvea… Elvea, of all people!!'
'Awwww… Nasty…'
'Nasty? It's way more than nasty! It's gross!'
'It can't be that bad…' I looked her in the eyes. 'Okay, it could be, but…'
Sat there, crying on her shoulder, about half and hour, when I slowly started calming down.
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Where I can run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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I felt like running again, but I couldn't. Somehow, I knew I didn't have the strength to do that. Don't have the strength to do anything now… so exhausted…
Even thinking was getting hard on me now. As I thought of Legolas, and what he did, back there on the lawn… It made me noxious…
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me …
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
'Hey, I'm going to take a walk.' I told Arwen.
'Sure, want me to come with you?'
'No, that's okay.'
'Come back in one piece, okay?'
'I'll try!' I laughed. Arwen's a nice girl. She gets into other people's business quite a lot, but hey, everybody's got her, or *his*, downside. I walked to the mess, sat down with a plate of food, and started poking it again. Tried to eat some, and I did! Like three bites… the rest was disposable, as so many things are these days. :(
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Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
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My life feels like a trap, I'm trying to get out, but it doesn't quite seem to work… Every time I struggle, it seems like I get stuck even more. I have to cut some cords, so they can't tie me down any longer. Boromir walked into the mess and sat down next to me. He didn't say anything, I didn't say anything. Some 5 minutes later…
'Hey, how're you doing?'
'Fine.'
'You don't look to good.'
'I'm fine.'
'How's Vebor?'
'How should I know?'
'Well, he is your boyfriend now, so…' Oh, right, Vebor's my boyfriend now…
'I guess he's fine too.'
'You don't feel like talking, do you?' Hello mister "state the obvious"!! I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that… 'I'll take that as a yes…'
*Sigh*
'What's the matter with you and Legolas?'
'How should I know, he's not *MY* boyfriend.'
'That's exactly what I mean, what happened?'
'Nothing, we just broke up.'
'There's something else behind it, I can see it's killing you, and it's killing him too.' I don't know why, but that actually made me feel better. :o)
'I'm coping fine, as you can see.'
'Oh come on, just look at you! You look exhausted, your eyes are red and swollen, you just sit here, alone, poking you food, even I can see something's bugging you.'
'Boromir, I'm not in the mood for one of your relationship councils, please shut up.'
'You'll find it out eventually…' He stood up.
'Find what out? What's there to find out?' He walked away. 'Tell me! What is it?' He walked back towards me.
'You can't live without each other.' He whispered and he walked away again.
'That's not true! I can live alone! He said so himself! I'll be perfectly fine!' I yelled. He waved just before he left the mess. 'Bastard.' I whispered. 'All guys suck.'
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me …
Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
I walked back to my room, where Arwen, Éowyn and Rosie were packing their bags.
'Hi.' I softly said.
'Hi Endomiel!' Rosie cheered.
'You sure are happy.' I said
'Yeah, it's finally official, Sam and I are dating!' Oww… not nice to hear… I mean, nice for them but… I started crying again. 'What happened? Was it something I said?'
'It's not your fault Rosie…' I said. 'It's all the fault of…' I started sobbing even louder.
'Whose fault is it?'
'Those blasted guys.' Arwen said. 'Come on Endomiel, throw it all out…' I started sobbing on her shoulder again.
'Oww, now I'm ruining you shirt again with my crying…' I sobbed.
'That's okay…'
'What happened to her?' Elanor said as she walked in.
'Oh, guy trouble.' Éowyn said.
'Don't tell me she broke up with that stuck-up elf prince, did she?'
'No, other problems, I think...'
'Sure.'
'It's something else.' Arwen said.
'Thanks Arwen.' I whispered.
'Hey girls, time to turn off the lights!' Éowyn said as she turned the lights off. I put my PJ's on and crawled into my bed. I put the blankets up over my head, and made a little light. That's where I am now, writing in my diary. I think it's time to go to sleep now, it's getting pretty late.
Namarië…
Endomiel
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And I swear,
You're just like a pill,
Instead of making me better,
You keep on making me ill,
You keep on making me …
Run,
Just as fast as I can,
To the middle of nowhere,
To the middle of my frustrated fears,
**************************************************************************** ****************************************
E/N: Hullo… Sorry for the sad chapter, just felt like doing that! Well, I need your help on a few things, for one; do I have to write more about the Hobbits? Because I noticed I'm kind of neglecting them in my story… and second; I don't know what to do with Endy and Legolas yet, any ideas?? Oh well… Keep reviewing!! Thanx to y'all!!! Buh-bye now! Endomiel.
P.S.: remember, you can always read Elvea's P.O.V., it's on her account, Amanfalathiel. Okay, enough advertising for one day….